Episode 9 - Into the Attic

Music: Majestic Nature by Craig Stuart Garfinkle Artwork by Steve English The script: Episode 9 - Into the Attic Roseberry had seen it coming for days and had nagged the Baron relentlessly to replace it, but this time something told her that the kettle really was on its way out. So, wisely, she stood outside the kitchen, muttering to herself about the Baron’s reluctance to spend money, as the kettle boiled, getting louder and louder. When it happened, it was worse than expected. There was an almighty bang, then a sloshing sound as boiling water drenched the whole kitchen. This was followed by a loud boom as all the electrics in the whole of the Manor shorted out. As the lightbulb above her head (and all the lightbulbs in the corridor) spluttered and then shattered, merrily sprinkling hot glass everywhere, a third explosion erupted as Roseberry screamed, ‘Archibald Ruswarp Briggswath! Come here right now!’ = Eller was having a VERY good day! = The Baron, who was still examining the contents of the cupboard, groaned as he heard the screaming. The shadows jumped and rushed off, not wanting to miss the excitement. Slipping the third object into one of his many pockets, he turned to leave the room. When he reached the doorway, he paused to look back at the cupboard, wondering if it would still be there on his return. He got his answer straight away; it had already gone, along with all those wonderful knick-knacks he’d left on top. In a slight panic, he fumbled in his cloak to make sure the new items hadn’t vanished with the cupboard, breathing a sigh of relief as he felt them bulging through his pockets. Once reassured, he reluctantly headed off to confront the emergency! = It took a long time to calm Roseberry down, and even longer to clear up the mess without a working vacuum cleaner. There was another, much older and sturdier, upright vacuum cleaner in the attic, but the Baron didn’t like going to the attic and he didn’t have any good memories of that particular vacuum cleaner – it was a beast. And, having been a beast and now having been abandoned in the attic, with the gargoyles clattering overhead and who knew what else living up there, he was more than happy to clean up by hand. Had he left the mess, he knew that tomorrow everything would have reset. However, he didn’t want to risk Horatio cutting his paws on the broken glass. Thankfully, Horatio seemed happy gnawing the vacuum cleaner parts and hadn’t come to investigate; he really was a weird dog. = Once all the cleaning was done and Roseberry had recovered her composure, she turned to the Baron. ‘Either you go and buy me a new kettle right now, or you’re going to have to go up into the attic and get the old boiler back down.’ The Baron felt a chill creep down his spine when Roseberry talked about the old boiler. It wasn’t just that, to get it down, he’d have to take a trip to the attic, it was also how terrible that old boiler had been. It had behaved so badly that he’d bought Roseberry the rather cheap kettle that had just exploded as a replacement. So, now he was in a quandary. Did he spend more money (he shivered at the very thought) buying yet another kettle or did he go to the attic to retrieve the old boiler that made fantastical noises, vibrated like it was alive and, although he didn’t like to admit it, scared him with its strange behaviour? Well, given that choice, and because they needed a cup of tea to recover from all the cleaning, not ten minutes later, as Thornton went to the cellar to collect replacement lightbulbs and reset the circuit breaker, the Baron made his way up to the attic entrance and waited for the lights to flicker back to life. In spite of some of the rooms and corridors having moved, he found his way to the attic entrance quite quickly. It seemed that, when he didn’t want to go somewhere, the Manor knew and made it easy for him to get there! As he waited on the landing for the lights to come back Support this podcast