December 4, 2024 • 63 mins
Russ and Ashley of 'Hot Couple Chronicles' debunk common swinger myths, discuss lifestyle boundaries, and share personal experiences. They emphasize the importance of communication, inclusivity, and respect, while tackling stigma and misconceptions with humor and honesty.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Hot Couple Chronicles, a podcast exploring the singing lifestyle.
(00:04):
Our discussions may contain explicit content and adult themes intended for mature audiences.
While we strive to offer valuable insights and entertainment, please be aware that the
views expressed are based on personal experiences and opinions. We encourage listeners to approach
the content with an open mind and to prioritize communication, consent, and respect in their
(00:25):
relationships. Remember everyone's journey is unique, so take what resonates with you and leave
what doesn't. Thank you for joining us on our adventure.
I'm Russ and I'm Ashley and this is Hot Couple Chronicles.
(00:59):
Thanks. Happy Wednesday. Here we are again. Thanks for coming back.
Those of you that came back, we appreciate that. We appreciate it a whole lot. So much. Yes.
So yeah, this week we're going to do the Great Debate. We're going to talk about different
statements and different, we have some different questions, rapid fire questions, stuff to
(01:22):
statements about the lifestyle that I've gathered on social media and I've asked on our stories
and gotten some answers from. So yeah, just pretty much misconceptions and myths and
different things to debate about. And then, yeah, that should be fun. We're trying all the things.
Yeah. We're trying to try it out. I mean, last week we interviewed Bobby. Yeah, we're trying to do
(01:46):
some interviews. We're trying to do some games, keep it lighthearted, and then like some more
educational. I thought it was a really good conversation we had with, it went so fast.
Yeah. It went really fast. I had so many questions. Yeah. Like after I was done,
I was like, dude, I should have asked this. We need to do a part two just because we,
(02:06):
in retrospect, we're like, oh, I should have asked this or I should have asked that.
I hate, interviewing is not our strongest suit and it's definitely a learned thing.
It definitely is like a skill that you craft. Yeah. I'm hoping we get better
and I feel like it is getting better. I like the fact that we just talk to people.
(02:28):
It's not so much an interview. No, no. It's definitely, we're just having a conversation
with somebody. I go into it with like, we need to have a plan and outline some questions. And then
every single time it's like, I don't even know. I'm trying to look through all of our stuff and
try to find where we are. And it goes off course. And then, because you never know what they're
(02:50):
going to say. And that's the part that's like terrifying. So I'm never sure what's happening.
And terrifying is the plan they're inside you. Yeah. I need to outline.
You're not supposed to say that. We're all contract.
We used to like even send that to them too. Yeah. We used to send them questions and then we're
like, that's silly. I appreciate when podcasts do it for me. So that's why I always send everybody
(03:13):
all the questions ahead of time. And if they ask, I will, but like we decided not to do that.
I feel like it's way more authentic. It's more, you get a more genuine response,
but you don't have time to think about it. Me, no, I'm always like, please send me everything
you're going to say to me. So I know what's happening next. Cause I would like that. I mean,
if they ask, I will give it to them. But I do like the whole, they're not sure what we're going to do
(03:38):
with it. Like we have a general topic, but that's it. Yeah. So I don't hate that. But if those,
I don't know, interviewing is not our strong suit. We're definitely learning. So thank you for being
patient with us because it's not easy. I thought it would just be so much easier. I don't know.
Transition. Yeah. The transitioning part. Yeah. We can sit there and talk about something,
(04:00):
but then it's like, oh, we need to change the subject. Yeah. And we have a time limit.
The time limit thing really sucks. Cause I'm like, dang it. The last interview, I'm like,
we're out to do them again. And we're just like, oh, every time we're like, well, we'll just have
to have a lot again and continue the story. Cause I always like the next day I'm like, dang it,
I should have got more into this or that. And I should ask this question. It's fine. It's all
(04:23):
right. We'll get better. I feel like as we do it, I mean, this is only episode 15. Yeah. Now we're
still learning, still figuring this out. We don't know what we're doing here. It's only like,
it sounds like a lot when you say 15, but it's only 15 weeks. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, that's crazy.
I agree. But not even we're squeezing us in between all like our real life stuff. That's
(04:48):
and that's raising Thanksgiving. We had Thanksgiving now it's Wednesday. So I'd be a week ago
almost. And yeah, we had a good Thanksgiving. Yeah. I tried to ruin the Turkey. Oh yeah. Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. He decided to put on the smoker to clear room for. Yeah. It only makes sense to put it on
(05:11):
the smoker to, so I don't have a giant bird in the oven so I can cook all the other things. Cause
it makes it's only logical. We use the smoker to cook on it like multiple times a week. Like it's
very used. We, I mean, stuff all week, every week. Like it's not something that we're not used to,
(05:32):
but it turned, it was turned up. It was a little too hot, got a little too hot. And he had three
pounds of butter inside of the Turkey. I did eat a lot of butter. It was delicious. So so good.
But the butter as it was basting through the Turkey caught on fire in the bottom. It went inside,
came back out and there was just smoke. No, cause I put the Turkey on the grill. Then I'm like,
(05:58):
all right, everything's more or less prepped. The Turkey's on. I'm going to go take a shower
and get dressed. And so that's why I got out of the shower and just glance at my phone to check the
temperature, make sure everything was working. And it was like a hundred degrees too hot. I'm like,
that's not right. And so I ran downstairs. I saw before I even got outside, I saw the smoke coming
(06:23):
out of it. I'm like, and then he had to run somewhere. Oh, we were dog sitting for friends
and he ran to go let them out real quick and everything was chill. And then I walked outside,
not even five minutes after that happened and it was on fire again. Yeah. Thank gosh that we
caught it like super quick. Yeah. Like we caught it as soon as it did. It charred the bottom.
(06:46):
Like I had it for, if anybody cares, like I spatchcocked it, which means you cut the
backbone out of it and it lays flat. So it only charred like the rib cage. Yeah. It was the
the side of like, well there's Thanksgiving, no Turkey. It's fine. Like we'll just have,
we had so much food. I was like, it's whatever. It's fine. I know he was so upset and he had
(07:09):
spent so much time and I'm like, it's okay. I yelled, yelled. You're like, what's treating you?
I know. I'm like, I thought you got hurt or something. Yeah. Yes. It was, but after we took
the charred skin off and I carved it, it was really good. Everything was so good. He, everything,
(07:30):
he can't cook anything. That's not good. That's not true. It's true. It's true. It's true.
15 years, I've never seen it. So it's true. There's been something. I'm sure there's been
something. I know. 15 years, I'm sure. We just blocked that part out, I guess. No,
no, no, no. We don't talk about that. Everything you do is perfect. It's stupid. Not true. Yeah.
(07:52):
It was good. We had our, all of our kids home. Sorry. Our daughter lives in Florida and she
came home with her, her boyfriend and she spent, and then he went to have to go to bed because he
had to be up at. Yeah. I had to go to work Friday morning. Six in the morning. So I played
Uno with the kids, the cheating kids and never seen people cheat at Uno so much. Like all, like
(08:17):
they were teaming each of, they all had teams and I was the one that was out. So I had no teammate
and they were all working with each other and I was like, whatever. And they were all so happy.
I was like, whatever. It's fine. They were taking like five cards instead of one. Like they wanted
a whole stack of cards. So they could just throw like skips and. Yeah, one of them just quit.
(08:41):
They had like 50 cards in their hand. It was insane. And then they'd switch hands with you.
That's the thing. Oh, I guess there is that one card. 50 cards and they kept having that card
because they'd find it in those 50 cards and then they'd just switch hands with somebody. It was so,
it was so stupid. I mean, nothing tests effectively like, Rennopoly and Uno. Yeah,
(09:03):
she, yeah, they refused to fall. Our oldest refuses to play and not play. She gets so mad.
There's two games that test families. Yeah, that's, that's a good Thanksgiving though.
And it's already onto Christmas now. So yeah, time and spice just like it always is. And we have our
birthday next week. Yeah. Yeah. Our youngest has her birthday. We always have that like comes super
(09:28):
fast because it's like Thanksgiving that and then Christmas just bam, bam, bam. And the kids get off
school again in a minute. And just crazy. It's a hustle, hustle. So you don't hear from us.
It's because we have Christmas programs and all these kids and baby showers and birthdays,
Christmas. It's a lot. And Christmas parties that we're supposed to go to. And Christmas parties
(09:51):
that we can't, we can't go to. So yeah, not happy about it, but family life comes first,
kids come first. And yeah, it'll be, it'll be here before we know it. It'll be gone before we know.
It'll be gone. Yeah. It'll be January 2nd in like three minutes. But then it goes so slow.
(10:15):
January, February is the longest month on the calendar. And I'm dreading it. It's already
so cold in Georgia and everywhere else. It is. It is. Knowing. The other day,
it was yesterday when I was going to work, it was 28 degrees. Yeah. When I took you to work the other
day, it was 28 degrees and it was frost and everything else. It was so cold. And then I'm
(10:39):
looking at everybody up back up north where they're all snow just in their yards and stuff. And I'm
like, it's like 14 degrees. Okay. I'm just kidding. And it was like 40 and I'm like, oh, I'm going to die.
But yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I guess we should get started on the episode. I guess so. We could
talk all day about the weather, but I think they don't want to hear that. So yeah, the first one
(11:02):
is going to be common statements to debate. So these are statements that we hear all the time.
And it's just our thoughts on these different things and why it's wrong or why it's wrong,
right? Why it's correct. Just our opinions on it. Yes. And you have to agree or disagree. Yeah. Okay.
First one. Do we have a time limit on this one? No, no, no. That's the rapid fire. This one you
(11:27):
can take as long as you want. All swinger parties are wild orgees. I wish. I know. I sure wish.
Only if. That's where I thirst for things. I told them. Definitely. That's my kink. I didn't
didn't know that. That's my thing. But we love group sex. Love group sex. I mean, it makes sense
(11:48):
from being exhibitionists and florists. You can do both at the same time. You can watch people
having sex while you're having sex. And I love having crowds. I love being watched. So I wish
they were all wild orgees. And usually they usually do. You usually have to have an orgy organizer.
(12:11):
That's the key. Because swingers are like herding squirrels. Like you can't. Yeah. You can't.
Yes. All over the place. People disappear. You never see them again. Like it's hierarchy. And
all over the place. Having organized one of these such orgies, you always invite more people that
(12:33):
you actually expect because I'd say 30% of them either get distracted and do something else.
Or they're playing some other answer. That happens so many times. Or they're just tired. Or they go
back to bed. Or just go to bed or whatever. But yeah. So yeah. It's very rare when you invite
(12:54):
everybody and they show up. We try to have every single party be an orgy but it doesn't always go
off that way. We get distracted. And usually it's because we're playing somewhere else and then we
miss it. Or we're dancing. Something is going on. We're bad about it. When you say herding, we are
the squirrels. We are squirrels. Everybody is though. I feel like it's not just us. But we are
(13:16):
really bad at squirreling. All right. Next one. You have to be in an open relationship to be a swinger.
To be a swinger or do swinging things? To be a swinger. I mean no. No. Because I don't consider
us in an open relationship. No. That's not true. No. Because our relationship is closed. Yeah.
(13:39):
Closed relationship. Even though we have sex with other people. But when you say a relationship,
that's deeper than the physical aspect. Yeah. You threw me off for a second when you said it.
Because they are one and the same as well. It's like one of those umbrella terms. So some may say
(14:00):
that it is an open relationship. But I think relationship is a lot heavier than swinging.
Like you're talking more polyamory and stuff like that. We're talking about relationships.
We're all looking for a relationship. We've already talked about it before. But we have,
we call it swally. We're really close and have really good friends. But I don't want to live
(14:21):
with these people. I would love to live near these people so we can see them more often.
Maybe in my backyard. That's fine. But I don't think I want to share a dwelling. We can have a
kid, like a roommate situation maybe. Yeah. I feel like- I don't know. I still feel like
for us anyway right now. And that might change in the future. Who knows what happens. But
(14:44):
like as of right now, I don't want, like I want to go to bed with you and have our time and like
have our space and our stuff. Plus hang, you know, do it with our friends occasionally. Not every
night. We just need a community with all of our friends. Yeah. As I said, you can live in my
backyard. That's fine. But I do need like my own living quarters at least. Yeah. I want to be able
(15:05):
to go outside naked and pick my vegetables and stuff and then wave next door to them. Then just
everybody is like, yo. And then we have dinners together and you're in there. But like, it's not
a way to- don't. Like I just, you know what I mean? Yeah. Fine. That's my ideal situation. But okay.
Next one. Swinging is only for old couples. Older. Not anymore. Not anymore. You're welcome.
(15:29):
I'm just kidding. But really, I think when we first final watched how the couples were
older. They were 50s. Yeah. It was very hard to find people of age. Like late 40s in the
late 50s. Yeah. The age definitely went down. At least in club settings and stuff like event
settings and stuff that we went to. Well, the events are catered more towards younger.
(15:53):
Yeah. Now as well. A lot of the events now have like more of like a rave type theme. Yeah.
Which draws in the 20, 30, 40 year olds. And the younger generation coming into it is definitely
more open sexually. Yeah. Yeah. They see a lot more. Yeah. Just younger. And also I've noticed like
(16:21):
talking and like with like people have been the lifestyle for 20 years, 30 years. Those are the
like DTF couples. Yeah. Oh yeah. Where we want like some type of connection. Yeah. We want the
community, the commune. And they're like, it's not that serious. And they're like, yeah. They're
(16:43):
always like, you're not even swingers. Why? Cause I don't want to have sex with everything that
moves. We get to that all of the time because we're not DTF that we are. We're less swingers
than they are. Which we are. We're all swingers and we all just practice it differently. Well,
and I'll say I see DTF in a completely different scope, I guess, as these people. Well, that's
(17:05):
because I know, but like I'm DTF. Well, yeah. That's what they call it. It's the DTF couple.
That's just what the term that people use for people that are looking for like a real quick,
like never known you before real fast. We've done that. I know. It's not for me. It's not like most
of us have, but I think we've all just want a deeper something kind of tree. It's more like we
(17:28):
can do that, but it's way more like exciting and fun. And it's my favorite part is the
foreplay. Flirting in the foreplay and the back and forth and dancing. Yeah. Yeah. So
we can be both. We can. We can all be both. We can all do it all. Doesn't really matter.
(17:48):
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(18:12):
All right. You cannot be a singer if you're introverted. That is very much so false because
that's me. I don't want to be an introverted species. You are. Don't do well.
And those two. But you come out of your shell in those environments. I've come a long way as well.
I'm definitely not the same person that I was before. But yeah, come a long way. I guess you
(18:36):
can be introverted. And we have so many friends who are also introverted, freakiest people you'll
ever meet. Down there. Down for the introverted ones are the freakiest. Yeah. So find me. Like
they don't just because you're introverted. You have to be comfortable being uncomfortable. And
once you learn that, you just got to push yourself a little bit outside of your comfort zone.
(19:01):
Yeah. There's a lot of it. It opens a lot of way to introvert here. For sure. All right.
Swinging is just for couples and singles don't really fit in. Not true at all. Not true at all.
They make you think that on social media, a lot of the times the stuff with the single
content talks a lot about how like there's no space, but there is a space. There's a
(19:23):
hundred percent space. And they're very much. A lot of people get in a lot. People we know have
gotten into the lifestyle with like bulls and unicorns like that. Yeah. Like that's a big
gateway to the lifestyle. We know a lot of people that like regularly found lifestyle as a single
and then have since gotten in relationships and are exploring lifestyle as couples, which is two
(19:47):
separate jerks. I think it's a lot less common to be a full-soul couple than it is to be have played
with singles. We've never played with singles before, which I think is pretty rare. Yeah.
Most couples have played with singles. I think. Oh, we've played with singles, but it was always
as a couple. That's what I'm saying. Like we've never played, you know what I mean? Like a lot of
(20:07):
people play separately and do all of that too. And there's a big, there's a big like space for
singles and definitely in this lifestyle. And I think that they are very much appreciate. We,
we appreciate you. We love you. I don't want to throw shade, but also the most people that say that
are guys that don't understand the other. Like, I'm sorry. Like that's true. But the people are,
(20:32):
there's no room for single guys. That's not true. There's lots of room for single guys,
but you also, you have to be charismatic and fun to talk to. That's hard to be a successful
single person in the lifestyle. It's hard to be a successful. That's a whole different story right
there. But yeah, it's, but there's space. There's definitely space. There's definitely a need for
singles. And we love our singles and our couples and everyone. Okay. Everyone in the lifestyle is
(21:00):
open-minded and accepting. Not true. Unfortunately. We're hoping to get there. That's the goal.
That's the purpose. That's we're trying to help. Yeah. It's for such a hold hands and things, but
what we as lifestyles the whole, we claim to be so sexually open and there's still a lot of judgment.
(21:24):
There's still a lot of body shaming, shit talking. There's still a lot of homophobia
when it comes to other guys. Like the, you don't see homophobia towards women really
like bisexual and lesbian are like welcome with open arms boy comes to them bisexual or gay guys.
Straight woman in lifestyle. Yeah. Yeah. It's not common thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's the straight
(21:50):
woman is the minority when it comes or they feel like they have to be bi when they're really
not bi. That was my kind of journey for the first year because I've in my past have played with
women. I have kissed women. I've always been attracted to certain women. I'm very picky,
(22:12):
but I'm also very picky with my men. You helped me realize that because I never felt bi. I always
was like, I enjoyed the times I have been with women, but I have to be attracted to them. And
so the concept, I never understood that. You're bisexual. Listen to me. You're attracted to every
woman, just like you're not attracted to every man. He kept reminding me that because he was like,
(22:34):
I struggled with am I bi or am I straight? And I really felt like a straight from like I was
straight for the first year. I think for the most part, I felt very straight because I wasn't,
I didn't feel bi enough. Yeah. And I still struggle with feeling bi enough because I am very
picky and choosy, but that's like, he always reminds me that you're also like that with men
and you consider yourself like you love men. Yeah. It's not any different. Yeah. Yeah. And it helps me
(22:58):
a lot. And I've been able to this last year, really explore women and kind of learn and
I'm learning and figuring it out and you know, having fun with women and it's been nice to have
people too. This lifestyle has helped me to definitely like experiment and see if I am or not.
And now I am finally like, you know, I've been saying like I'm bisexual and I've been owning that.
(23:18):
Yeah. But yeah, it's definitely- Well, like your dynamic with women is different than it is with men.
Yeah. And that's what I'm learning. Yeah. But I wouldn't have learned any of that without the
lifestyle and yeah. Unfortunately, yeah. The original question is open-minded and accepting.
And we ran on our little trans tangent there, but it's a good- But yeah, unfortunately we're not,
(23:40):
as a whole, we're not as open-minded and accepting as we say. Unfortunately, it's a lot of the older
generation are the ones who just don't, they just don't, I find more resistance with them than any
other. I don't think, so there was this, I don't think it's any type of prejudice or anything like
that. I think it's just a fear of change. Yeah. As like people. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I do agree.
(24:04):
Because most of their like anger is because we're not doing it right or we're not enough,
doing enough of something or it's too much of something. Yeah. And especially like from what
we see on the social media, on the podcast and stuff like that is they don't see us as
(24:25):
equals. Like we're less than them because they don't do anything. We're still trying to earn
our credits. We're trying to earn our street cred. We're trying to earn our street cred as a swinger.
Like they somehow think that we're profiting off of the lifestyle. Yeah, I get that all the time.
And I will laugh. You know what song I was singing before when we were making the bed to bake the
(24:46):
podcast? We work hard for no money. Must work hard for no money. Because we are filming this at
10 30 PM. We just had a full day and just got the kids to go to bed and finish watching Christmas
movies and dinner and everything else. And we knew we had to get it done right now because we also
have a party this weekend, a family friendly party and people we don't know, family members,
(25:14):
boyfriend that we're meeting for the first time. Yeah. And so we have to deep clean the whole house.
My sister's coming for the weekend and my kids coming all weekend as well. And all of them are
staying here and yeah. And so like I wish I wish I wish but I love you guys. It's totally worth it.
But if you want to donate to the cause and paint that comment. The original thing was that, you
(25:40):
know, they think that we're trying to profit off their lifestyle and we get told that all day,
every single day. Yeah. So far, you actually said it is it's not they think it's their lifestyle.
Yeah. Oh, I did for that reason. Yeah. It's not theirs. It's ours. Like as a whole. Yeah.
(26:01):
We're yeah, no one owns the lifestyle. There's no Bible. There's no like it's rule. It is what we
have made it be a good person. Yeah. Be kind. Yeah. Let's be kind and accepting of new things
and people. And there's gonna be new people. It's a good thing. Good thing. Stop fighting us. Okay.
(26:22):
Next question. This is going to take forever. Swinging is only about physical pleasure.
Emotional connections aren't part of it. Say we first can be. It can be. It can be. It can be.
We first got lost. That's how it was. It was like it was strictly physical. We were very
(26:42):
duty of couple that we ran around and we were like, yeah, we were just until we just made
connections with we saw how good it can be. Like they're at this point, they're family. Yeah. Yeah.
Um, but yeah, they we were that DTF where they were like, what's the difference? What's the
(27:03):
swing? What's the difference between Polly and swingers? And always our answer was no emotion.
And I, that's what we said first. No emotion. And I was like, we gotta stop saying that. I was like,
there's a lot of emotion. There's a lot of feels. There's a lot of chemistry. There's a lot of vibes.
That's what makes the lifestyle so beautiful. And that's why we love the addictive cocaine effect.
(27:24):
We call it. It's that like more it's like deeper and it's more exciting when you have those things.
And we've learned that. But yeah, it was, I hated, I hated that. I hated that answer. No emotion,
no feelings. No. Yeah. No. And it could be whatever you want it to be. Yeah. It can be,
but like we enjoy the butterflies and the flirting and the, and there are nights where we just are
(27:52):
like down to fuck, you know, or just like you're a hot or hot, it hits off and stuff like that.
You know, but like, yeah, but it's still like for me, even when we do that, like,
and it does still happen, but like, like you're hot or hot. Like we, we still hit it off in some
way other than we talk a little like physical ways. Like we always hit it. And they're like,
(28:14):
has to be about, let's just, let's just go get a room. You want to go? Yeah. Yeah. There still has
to be a moment where we're getting, you know, to know each other a little bit, a little bit,
especially for me. I'm the one that you would be down immediately in the moment, but I need
a little bit of a little bit of, but even in that situation, it's more just performative for me.
(28:38):
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(29:21):
These are, these are the ones that were submitted on our stories from our followers.
They're not ones that I sought after on my stuff. Okay. Okay. So these are a little bit closer to
home. Singing is only for people with perfect bodies. That is not true. I am, and you are,
the definition of that because we're singers and we do not have perfect bodies.
(29:46):
Oh, we do it. You have, I think you have a perfect body.
If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
But really, I think you do. I think you have a perfect body too, but I'm just saying,
but in society, the perfect body, you're the perfect body for me. I love that body. And
(30:07):
it's perfect for me, but I'm saying society's standards. Now there are women that have the
perfect bodies. Like the societal perfect body. But you don't have to have that. But you don't
have to have it at all. That's definitely not required. No. All right. Couples who swing
(30:28):
can't take the relationship seriously. True. That is true. Why would you do that? Why would
you take it seriously? That's a hundred percent serious. We have, you've never met more people
more serious about marriage. Yeah. Period. Yeah. I don't care. No, they, we have always been
(30:51):
like pretty solid on our belief that marriage is a big fucking deal. It's the biggest deal.
I actually just had this conversation yesterday with a lady at work. I do know. Because she was
asking me about my like professional past. And I mentioned how I used to work a lot. Yeah. Oh yeah.
And she's like, oh, so you were like on the edge of divorce. I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no.
(31:15):
You misunderstood that. Like I just worked a lot and it was frustrating for both of us because I
was at home. No. She's like, oh, she's like, you, I'm like, that's a curse word in our house. Oh yeah.
We don't, we don't say that word. We always have said that. We don't say that. She's like, oh,
she's like, and then she's like, okay, I get it now. But I'm like, yeah, I just had that conversation
(31:36):
with a lady at work. Like there's never been more thing, we've ever been serious than our marriage
and we hold that very, very dear to our hearts. Like our marriage is our number one purpose,
everything. That's how, I mean, we say it as a joke a lot of times, but it's like when we see
something with like a red flag with another couple, it's a them thing. This is an us thing.
(31:59):
And that's, and that is a, basically a way to protect our relationship. Cause if we got involved,
it could be twisted and crazy stuff happens. It could affect our relationship emotionally.
Yeah. So that's kind of one of our, we've always been very much like if our marriage is affected
(32:22):
in a negative way and we've been good since at that, since we were 21, like 22 years old,
22 years old, like we, if it makes us feel any sort of certain way and it interferes with our
marriage and our relationship, shut it down. And we're don't want to part of that. And we've always
been very serious. So we do. That is not true. And then, okay, we've got, you have to go to
(32:49):
swing your clubs to be part of the life as well. Nope. Now there are so many people who have never
been to a seraphim and they've been lifestyle for 20 years, 30 years, never been to a club.
I remember, it was a couple of years ago now, but we were talking to a couple and they,
we've been in lifestyle for 20 years or so. They were older couple and they had just went to secrets
(33:18):
for the first time. Yeah. There's a lot that you do privately, you know, at home and dates,
like locally and like friends and more of the secret, like really discrete vibes. And like you
were saying, like bring bulls to their homes and unicorns to their homes and stuff, like a very
personal thing in the lifestyle. And they just never been to clubs or resorts or events or,
(33:42):
you know, and it's not, it's, that's not everybody's. No, no. Yeah. Oh, like there are,
we know. We've heard so many people that have tried different like clubs or secrets or events
and I'm just like, it's just not, we just can't. It's just, we went home. Yeah. We didn't like it
there. I can't talk. It's just not every couple's cup of tea, but like, you know, some people just
(34:06):
want to sit outside by a fire and just, you know, get, you know, talk to a couple, just
two on two or one, you know, two on one or whatever one and rather do it that way than go to these big
to do's and stuff. And, you know, like everything, like we said, it can be literally whatever you
want it to be. And so, yeah, I feel like you've said that before. This one was part of my video.
(34:31):
I put out today. Yeah. So I have stuff to say that I don't, I'm not nobody, you know, not a lot of
people agree with me, but you should never bring your kids into the conversation about swinging
into a conversation about swinging. So our opinion on that is maybe it's because we were outed and we
(34:56):
had no choice, but to bring those conversations. I think it's so much more nonchalant for us and
more of like, this is how like, cause we're on the other side of it. I think maybe I think people,
cause it's part of this negative stigma of the lifestyle, cause they automatically connected
with sex children and then sex and children don't go together. So they automatically assume if you're
(35:20):
talking about this with your child, it's an inappropriate conversation, which isn't the fact.
No. Like when we had this conversation with our kids, we talked to them about different
late relationship dynamics. I love differently people, you know, people go on dates with other
people. It depends on their age and what their age is. It's appropriate or you know what I mean?
(35:41):
Like any doesn't, we've never once been like, oh yeah, we participate in orgies in these playrooms
that they like, we've never, they don't know what happens. We've never talked about, they think
we're hanging out with our friends. Like that's to them, it's just hanging out with our friends
and going on dates together is like going out to dinner with another couple. Like it's not,
(36:01):
like we're friends, like it's not. Or if we're actually hosting, like hosts said it a bit,
they like, oh, you got to work this weekend. Yeah, it's like a work. It's like, yeah, yeah.
Cause yeah, for hosting for, cause if we're hosting, we're not just going to party.
And they understand our mission and they understand, like there's ways to,
if you would like to have the, you know, if you would like to have that conversation with your
(36:24):
kids and you want to be a hundred percent out and open with everyone, if that's what you want to do,
there are ways to do it without it being so negative all the time.
We're like, we're fortunate enough where we are already
training our children to be open minded and accepting people. But
(36:45):
since we had to have those conversations with our kids, it's opened the door for other
conversations like sexuality. And like we had a whole conversation at the dinner table one night
about bisexuality and what that actually means. And, yeah, cause he was curious. He, he genuinely
(37:09):
was a teenage boy that was just curious what that means. Cause he was a teenager,
a teenage boy that was just curious what that means. Cause he's heard it before.
And so I am in school a hundred percent believer of if they're old enough to ask the question,
there's a age appropriate way to answer it and give them.
We never like brought up sex in that explanation.
(37:31):
None of our stuff has ever been about sex with people.
It's not sexualized.
There's ways to have people understand them, understand that, you know,
we just live life a little bit differently and that's okay. It's okay to live a different life
than other people. And it's okay to do stuff that's not normal and seen as normal. And that's all
right. There's ways that you can bring them. And if you don't want to, you don't have to.
(37:55):
It's not. Again, it's your family, your children, your life.
I think back of when we were our kids' ages and I didn't want to know about my parent's sex life.
No. Yeah.
And then you become like a teenager, like, you know, they have sex, but you still don't want to
know about it. So why was it any different if we like what we do in private consensually with other
(38:26):
consenting adults? Why would our care or kids care about?
Then the fact that people always constantly just throw kids when they talk about sex.
It's the first thing they throw out.
Children, children. I'm like, it's kind of weird.
I don't know. I could go on for days about that one. It's a whole thing. And, you know,
like, I just don't think that kids see pineapples and stuff and think that, oh,
(38:49):
I just don't. They see a pineapple. Like, I don't know. Nobody's paying.
There's so many symbols that are in this world.
And we talked about this because you didn't put out the video you wanted to put out. You put out
a second video saying, you know what, I'm not going to share my opinion.
Yeah, this was the original video. I know what I talked about.
You made a good point in that first video that you didn't share. And you said
(39:16):
it opens, if they can ask a question about that pineapple and why it's on there, there's
opportunity there to teach.
About children, about different relationships and dynamics and different, just humans in general.
Like it could have been, it could be as easy as an age.
(39:36):
Oh, that's a symbol for couples that are non-monogamous or non-monogamous.
Yeah. Or they enjoy other couples.
Like it doesn't have to be.
Yeah, it doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be about sex.
I mean, you got to throw sex in there and automatically think we're telling people about,
like, going doggy on some neighbor guy. Like, it's just not, that's not the conversation people
(39:59):
are having with their kids. I promise. I really, I promise you that's not how that conversation is
going. And, but yeah. Okay. Next one. Because we could keep talking about that for a whole episode.
Okay. Couples get into swinging because they don't love each other.
We already answered that one.
(40:21):
Have you met us before? Not true.
Actually, it's a bigger turn on. We can tell the couple love each other.
Or like obsessed with each other. Like, yeah, it's definitely a hot,
takes their hot level like a ton. Yeah.
Cause the biggest hurdle for us in the lifestyle is couples that,
(40:42):
and I'll say that all the time, like they're not solid. I'll go up to him when I meet couples.
And like if I do, especially my single things, I've told him I've reported back to him when he
was at events and stuff and been like, stay away from them. They're not solid. And that's all he
needs to know. They're not good. They're not good. Like if I see any like sign, I'm just like,
just be careful. Cause I don't think they're good. You can usually tell if there's something
(41:07):
going on. And you can see within the relationships and it's like, be careful. Be careful.
Cause they're, we're not going to stop talking to you, but also, we can still be swimmers.
We're good at that. We can still navigate that, but we don't want to, we don't have to.
And so we've just stopped. We used to do that.
(41:27):
Well I'm not even saying that being swinger, but like we can still be friends with them,
but there won't be going past that.
Yeah. That too. But we can also, we can also ignore it for a night. Sometimes.
We used to, I'm not saying any more of my, I always run up to them and be like, no,
let's just stop. Cause we've learned since then.
(41:47):
It creates more problems than it's worth.
It's not worth it. It's not worth it. You can go find another couple that you can have a great
night with and not have to tip toe or feel weird or.
Have weird moments.
Weird. Yeah. It doesn't have to be weird. All, you know.
You don't have to deal with.
There's too many people out there.
Them freaking out in the middle.
Too many other options.
Of activity.
We used to really try really hard to like help, help. That was the worst. Like help each other out.
(42:14):
Remember that? Oh my gosh. When there was marriages that were just not good or not even marriages.
They were just together.
Not a problem.
Not good. And they'd be like, so he did this and that. I'm like, yeah, you guys, this is way to a
vellum, vanilla conversation in a swinger position and I don't like it. We're going to not do that.
Okay. These now this is, oh, no, no, no, no. One more question. One more question from a father
(42:39):
or statement from a father. The lifestyle is too expensive. It's three times as expensive
for single males versus females also. Yes.
That is true. Both things are true.
Yes. One, there are less expensive ways to export a lifestyle. You don't have to go,
you don't have to drop $1,200 for a weekend. Just go to a hotel takeover.
(43:01):
You don't have to do that.
Go on a $5,000 cruise or, you know, go to Jamaica. You'll have to do all these big
events that are more pretty expensive. They get expensive.
So expensive.
Between hotels and event tickets and traveling, travel.
Lights.
Yeah.
(43:22):
Costumes.
I'm not going to say it's not expensive because it is.
It's very expensive.
But it doesn't have to be. You can literally find your local community
and go out to dinner.
Once you start finding your people, you can do whatever and just hang out in your house
or at a hotel or Airbnb and just watch movies all night. It doesn't have to be
(43:44):
that expensive. And actually, those are usually what we prefer those times.
This past year or so, we've just decided to do a lot less events and the traveling
and the frivolous lifestyle. And we've kind of really backed it back home to trapeze
and local things and close friends and couples that we know locally. And I've enjoyed it.
(44:08):
It's again that connection and that vibe, chemistry. You get more of that when you do stuff at home.
But also the second part of that is it is three times more expensive for a single male.
And it is.
There's couples.
Yes.
Now there are certain companies, groups that have a set price for everyone per person.
(44:30):
And I was up to dark is a very big advocate for single males. And they definitely are
pushing towards like in like how they do their tickets. It's literally this price per person.
As it's not.
And I understand why I get those sides. I do.
Like you don't want to over saturate a party with a whole bunch of single guys.
(44:53):
Yeah.
And so they upcharge this to weed out the people that are.
I don't know what the right word for it is.
As ethical and not really. And a lot of them you'll find that not a lot of them, but I guess,
I don't know, trapeze on Fridays will really show you like there's a lot of not lifestyle
(45:17):
people that come there just to get laid.
So there's a lot of navigating that out.
But trapeze is one of those places that charges single men more.
So I don't I also don't think I don't understand.
Yeah, the events like the scale of that would be way, way bigger.
Like Secrets is a place that does that. Like I want to say membership for a month for a single male is like.
(45:46):
Pretty much everyone, every thing that we've ever been to or attended has way more priced tickets.
And we've been to events too that are there are no singles allowed period.
Oh yeah. We've been to a couple of flashes like that.
Yes, Blas is a couples only event.
Yeah, there are quite a few couples.
But even them, they're they're offering like throuple packages to fight that now.
(46:08):
Yeah, so we're getting there. We are like everybody's.
Somebody's got to start it, you know, somebody's got to, you know, and I do believe in
inclusivity and like not excluding people based on, you know, and so I do.
It's a fine line.
I know I get it.
And it's like you want to because you want to protect the masses.
You don't want shady people just to walk in like a by a 50 dollar ticket and come in.
(46:36):
But 90 percent of the single guys are more ethical than a guy you're going to be at a bar.
I know, I know, I know. So yeah.
And I think a lot of it was that we've always been taught single males were horrible things.
They also they're also fighting against even a harsher stigma than the swingers in general.
(46:58):
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
And you're just constantly hearing like how horrible single males are and all the time.
It's like you have to retrain yourself.
Like once you start actually meeting real lifestyle, single males.
Yeah.
More bad experiences with single females.
Oh, for sure.
I have said that single males.
Day one.
Like day one.
Every single guy I've talked to in the lifestyle has been respectful.
(47:21):
They say we get there and talk about whatever.
And if we like and they'll like to you guys, are you do you like single guys or like West
Order McFarland?
Prefer.
No proposition.
Oh, there we go.
And if we say no, they're like, oh, OK, no problem.
(47:44):
Yeah. Let me know if you change your mind.
Yeah.
If you need me.
No, but God forbid.
Yeah. Yeah, we've had some not so great experience.
Or most single women.
I don't want to say most because that's not true.
But a lot of single women that we've met don't understand the boundaries that single males.
(48:09):
They think that they have this like princess mentality where I'm not saying all of them,
but we have run into a lot of them that think that they should be held above everybody else.
And it's kind of like I don't have to have rules.
Let's be honest.
I do what I want.
Because a lot of couples only are looking for single females.
No.
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Our last segment, our final segment is going to be rapid fire questions.
We have to talk for 30 seconds about whatever these misconceptions or myths or statements
or whatever you have to fill a whole 30 seconds with an argument.
(49:16):
But I feel like it'll be all right.
About you just have to respond to why it is not true or why it is true or anything.
You have to talk for 30 whole seconds.
Say it's the timer.
I got it.
All right.
First one.
Hold on.
I got an hour and 30 seconds.
We don't want to do that.
Don't do that.
Okay.
None of it.
All right.
Swinging is the same as cheating.
(49:36):
Go.
No.
Done.
No, I'm just kidding.
Swinging is the exact opposite of cheating.
Actually, there's cheating.
You're hiding things from your partner.
You're being dishonest, disloyal.
Is that even a word?
Disloyal.
(49:57):
But deceptive.
Deceptive.
All the D's.
Yeah.
All the D's.
But most importantly, you're.
Done.
Out of time.
To we'll never know.
But you did good.
You did.
You have to tune in later for this.
(50:19):
Have you finished that statement?
Okay.
Number two.
Number two?
Yes.
Okay.
Ready?
Swingers are heeding this with no morals.
It sounds like my Instagram.
Every single comment I get told that I have no morals.
(50:39):
And I say to that, yes, I do.
Like, why does you have sex with have anything to do with my morals?
Morals are very personal, like deep inside thing.
It has nothing to do with my sex life.
And those are two.
That's I hate that.
I hate that so much.
No dignity, no morals, no respect or anything.
(51:01):
You're indignant.
No, I'm very moral person.
Oh, that's it.
Okay.
All right.
Ready?
You should always inform your partner about every thought you have during a swap.
Every thought?
Every thought.
No, no.
Because I have some intrusive thoughts.
(51:22):
Now you mean to.
Now I mean to.
Like I have intrusive thoughts all day.
I want to know.
That's true.
It's just who you are.
They can't be repeated.
Like what goes on in my brain sometimes is just a game I play with myself.
(51:44):
But it's like, what if?
All right, you're done out of time.
But that being said, I know I'm past 30 seconds, but if it's something that I feel passionate about,
and then yes, but not every thought.
Every thought.
(52:05):
Same.
In my brain, I couldn't even tell you.
I mean, if I said everything or came up with me, some of those thoughts would be like, crap.
No, there's a lot of it.
I have said that out loud before, but.
All right.
Number four.
Number four.
All right.
(52:27):
The lifestyle is just a fad and it will die out.
The lifestyle is thriving and growing by the minute.
I was just reading an article today about how five, it was 4% of the Americans,
American adults participate in some form of nominogamy and now it's up to 5%.
And that's just very small, tiny little studies and think how many people are discrete
(52:52):
and no one knows about the lifestyle.
They say one in every four people that you meet.
Yeah, have explored the lifestyles.
I think that definitely, definitely is growing.
Oh, 100%.
Not going to sex isn't going away.
All right.
Ready?
I'm ready.
Next.
Okay.
(53:13):
Swinging can help improve communication in a relationship.
110%.
Like can, should.
Like it's not like you can't do it.
It should, like it's not, there's no can it, it should.
Like if you're, we talk about how you do it your own way,
(53:35):
but if in my opinion, the correct way to do less is talking to your partner.
Like if you're not talking to your partner about your experience, then why are you doing it?
Not a very good experience.
Exactly.
You're good.
I see.
(53:56):
All right.
That was a good 32nd one actually.
All right.
I think they've all been pretty good.
Good swingers.
I never experienced jealousy.
Good swingers again.
Back with this good swingers.
We have a different level of what swinger we are, but that's not true at all.
(54:18):
Like it's okay to experience jealousy.
Jealousy is not like a bend all be all to being a swinger.
If you have jealousy, it doesn't mean that you're not good at the lifestyle
or that you're not doing it correctly.
It means that you're a human.
And most of us have been married to our person for a minute or longer like us.
(54:38):
And it's just different.
And yeah.
Yeah.
Motions happen.
It's a basic human emotion.
Like it's, it boils down to your basic human emotion.
It's what you do.
It's how you deal with it.
We suck at 30 seconds.
I know.
Okay.
I'm a slow talker.
All right.
(54:59):
You always, you actually have mentioned that in your first time.
All right.
The swingers are more likely to get STDs than monogamous people.
No, we're, I'd say, yes, we have sex more often than monogamous people, I would say,
(55:20):
but we practice safe sex almost 100%.
Like I want to say 100%.
But there are instances where people are exclusive with other couples that don't use protection.
But they're usually tested.
But they're also, I was getting ready to say is they're also getting regularly tested to
(55:44):
make sure their other partners are safe.
Where monogamous couples, what's the percentage of monogamous couples that experience infidelity
or commit infidelity?
How many times?
Are they having?
How many times you went to a bar, pick up a girl and you asked for their STD testing
and they hand it to you.
(56:05):
Exactly.
And had condoms in her pocket.
Yeah.
Or her husband's pocket.
Her husband's pocket.
I thought we do.
But you know what I mean.
You never have pockets.
You know what I mean.
Or my pouch that's in my back pocket.
All right.
They've already really talked about that one.
Just peeked at it.
We haven't seen any of these.
(56:26):
We're just reading them as it goes.
Swinging requires strict rules and boundaries.
I've said it a million times, especially this episode, swinging can be whatever you
want it to be.
If you want to have 400 boundaries and rules and have, you know, contracts that you need
(56:46):
people to sign, or if you have one boundary or no boundaries, you can do whatever you
want to do.
And it's good to have a set of boundaries and limits and stuff because there is guarantee
there's something you're not into or you don't want to do.
And I promise, but you don't have to.
You can do whatever you want it to be or don't want it to be for the millionth time.
(57:10):
For the millionth time.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
You must have a membership to be in the lifestyle.
100%.
We have so many memberships.
I'm selling membership cards on Cash Happened.
We have so many memberships.
We have so many memberships.
(57:30):
We have memberships all over the country.
There's so many different things.
Because yes, no, you do.
I want to start a national swingers club.
We have a lot of membership cards.
We should write the Bible for it.
Do it already.
So we can...
This is the law.
No.
(57:52):
So in that respect, I'm out of 30 seconds.
But...
A lot of swingers clubs and resorts require membership for entry.
We will say that.
But you do not have to have a membership to be a swinger.
Not to be a swinger.
Just to go to swinger things for the most part you do.
(58:14):
But not to be a swinger.
No.
All right.
Last and final question.
Go on ahead.
Do you prefer to be a swinger or open to same-sex encounters?
Go.
Not true.
We kind of talked about this earlier how I felt like at the beginning I wasn't bi.
(58:36):
So I felt out of place.
And I felt kind of weird.
Because it did feel like every female that I met was bisexual.
It's very rare to find just straight women.
But no, that's not true.
You're just fun and still got to like...as long as you're comfortable with yourself.
You can have fun.
(58:58):
I'm straight.
And you're straight.
There are also bi-curious, bisexual, and bi-flexible guys in the lifestyle that we've met.
And bi-comfortable.
On the spectrum, like exploring.
(59:20):
Experimenting.
But you don't have to.
It's not a requirement.
No.
And I mean, you should be open to it.
Have fun.
I think you should be open to same-sex scenarios.
To me.
To encounters.
Now I feel like you have to be comfortable with another naked guy in the same room as you.
(59:44):
Yes. You have to be secure in your manhood to some extent.
Because if you're not, we know people who aren't and struggle with their own self.
And they're very self-conscious.
Not self-conscious, but I guess so.
They're just not secure in their selves.
And they get really weirded out by other men.
And it's a them thing.
(01:00:06):
That's what's the biggest thing.
It's a them thing.
They're not comfortable in their own skin enough and they're always comparing themselves to other people.
So I think you should be open to anything.
But you don't have to be.
You don't have to be.
I think you should be cool.
And if it's not for you, don't yuck someone's yum.
(01:00:28):
You know, that's what they say.
I think.
I don't think I've ever heard that one before.
Really? Don't yuck someone's yum.
That's very common.
You just come up with fric.
That's a good one.
Yes.
I did.
I did that.
Yeah, because I'm cool and hip.
(01:00:50):
But you know what, guys?
This is a way longer episode than we ever planned it to be.
And so we still have over an hour.
Another couple of segments left.
And there is no way we're going to squeeze that into an hour.
So we don't even have commercials or any editing.
But it's going to be over an hour, I believe.
So unfortunately, but fortunately, we will continue this.
(01:01:14):
I mean, we'll do a whole other episode and we will finish out our statements.
Yeah, we'll definitely have to add these.
Even if it's not the same subject.
And the next one's were funny ones, too.
It was a whole funny, funny.
I feel like we can throw these at the end of an episode or something just for fun.
I think this episode was really good and gets our opinions up.
And it kind of gets people to know where we stand and what we believe in.
(01:01:38):
And introduces what we kind of...
Yeah, it gives them something to think about.
Yeah, maybe hopefully.
Oh, they have a good point.
But I also don't...
You don't have to feel the same way.
No, disagree. Go on, disagree. Talk about it.
We want you guys to sit together with your person or your people and talk about this stuff.
And tell them that you don't agree with what I said.
(01:02:00):
This is the great debate episode.
Yeah, we would like to spark some conversation and make sure that you leave us, you know.
And you know what? It's okay to agree to disagree.
Okay, we're all different people.
We don't have to see eye to eye to be friends.
Just be kind and be nice and be open.
That's literally what the lifestyle is supposed to be.
(01:02:22):
Is kind and open-minded and amazing, wonderful.
It just gets...
That's what attracted us to this lifestyle to begin with.
Why we love it. That's why we're here.
That's why we do a podcast.
That's why we are here.
It is just for you guys.
Our love for the lifestyle.
And we love that you're all different and you all have different ways to do the lifestyle.
(01:02:46):
And you all have different relationship dynamics and different stories.
And you're all different people.
And we love that.
And we don't mind having a different opinion than everybody else.
We mean be nice to each other.
We love each other. And we love you.
We appreciate you for being here.
And yeah, we will have to wrap this up.
Yeah.
Until next week.
(01:03:08):
We're gonna have to stay tuned for another part.
For part two.
The Great Debate.
If you don't like it, tell us and then we won't even bother.
Please.
But yeah, I plan on... I think it was good.
I think it was too.
I think it was a good one.
Not that serious.
Don't make it weird.
We love you guys. Bye.
Welcome to Hot Couple Chronicles, a podcast exploring the singing lifestyle.
(00:04):
Our discussions may contain explicit content and adult themes intended for mature audiences.
While we strive to offer valuable insights and entertainment, please be aware that the
views expressed are based on personal experiences and opinions. We encourage listeners to approach
the content with an open mind and to prioritize communication, consent, and respect in their
(00:25):
relationships. Remember everyone's journey is unique, so take what resonates with you and leave
what doesn't. Thank you for joining us on our adventure.
I'm Russ and I'm Ashley and this is Hot Couple Chronicles.
(00:59):
Thanks. Happy Wednesday. Here we are again. Thanks for coming back.
Those of you that came back, we appreciate that. We appreciate it a whole lot. So much. Yes.
So yeah, this week we're going to do the Great Debate. We're going to talk about different
statements and different, we have some different questions, rapid fire questions, stuff to
(01:22):
statements about the lifestyle that I've gathered on social media and I've asked on our stories
and gotten some answers from. So yeah, just pretty much misconceptions and myths and
different things to debate about. And then, yeah, that should be fun. We're trying all the things.
Yeah. We're trying to try it out. I mean, last week we interviewed Bobby. Yeah, we're trying to do
(01:46):
some interviews. We're trying to do some games, keep it lighthearted, and then like some more
educational. I thought it was a really good conversation we had with, it went so fast.
Yeah. It went really fast. I had so many questions. Yeah. Like after I was done,
I was like, dude, I should have asked this. We need to do a part two just because we,
(02:06):
in retrospect, we're like, oh, I should have asked this or I should have asked that.
I hate, interviewing is not our strongest suit and it's definitely a learned thing.
It definitely is like a skill that you craft. Yeah. I'm hoping we get better
and I feel like it is getting better. I like the fact that we just talk to people.
(02:28):
It's not so much an interview. No, no. It's definitely, we're just having a conversation
with somebody. I go into it with like, we need to have a plan and outline some questions. And then
every single time it's like, I don't even know. I'm trying to look through all of our stuff and
try to find where we are. And it goes off course. And then, because you never know what they're
(02:50):
going to say. And that's the part that's like terrifying. So I'm never sure what's happening.
And terrifying is the plan they're inside you. Yeah. I need to outline.
You're not supposed to say that. We're all contract.
We used to like even send that to them too. Yeah. We used to send them questions and then we're
like, that's silly. I appreciate when podcasts do it for me. So that's why I always send everybody
(03:13):
all the questions ahead of time. And if they ask, I will, but like we decided not to do that.
I feel like it's way more authentic. It's more, you get a more genuine response,
but you don't have time to think about it. Me, no, I'm always like, please send me everything
you're going to say to me. So I know what's happening next. Cause I would like that. I mean,
if they ask, I will give it to them. But I do like the whole, they're not sure what we're going to do
(03:38):
with it. Like we have a general topic, but that's it. Yeah. So I don't hate that. But if those,
I don't know, interviewing is not our strong suit. We're definitely learning. So thank you for being
patient with us because it's not easy. I thought it would just be so much easier. I don't know.
Transition. Yeah. The transitioning part. Yeah. We can sit there and talk about something,
(04:00):
but then it's like, oh, we need to change the subject. Yeah. And we have a time limit.
The time limit thing really sucks. Cause I'm like, dang it. The last interview, I'm like,
we're out to do them again. And we're just like, oh, every time we're like, well, we'll just have
to have a lot again and continue the story. Cause I always like the next day I'm like, dang it,
I should have got more into this or that. And I should ask this question. It's fine. It's all
(04:23):
right. We'll get better. I feel like as we do it, I mean, this is only episode 15. Yeah. Now we're
still learning, still figuring this out. We don't know what we're doing here. It's only like,
it sounds like a lot when you say 15, but it's only 15 weeks. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, that's crazy.
I agree. But not even we're squeezing us in between all like our real life stuff. That's
(04:48):
and that's raising Thanksgiving. We had Thanksgiving now it's Wednesday. So I'd be a week ago
almost. And yeah, we had a good Thanksgiving. Yeah. I tried to ruin the Turkey. Oh yeah. Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. He decided to put on the smoker to clear room for. Yeah. It only makes sense to put it on
(05:11):
the smoker to, so I don't have a giant bird in the oven so I can cook all the other things. Cause
it makes it's only logical. We use the smoker to cook on it like multiple times a week. Like it's
very used. We, I mean, stuff all week, every week. Like it's not something that we're not used to,
(05:32):
but it turned, it was turned up. It was a little too hot, got a little too hot. And he had three
pounds of butter inside of the Turkey. I did eat a lot of butter. It was delicious. So so good.
But the butter as it was basting through the Turkey caught on fire in the bottom. It went inside,
came back out and there was just smoke. No, cause I put the Turkey on the grill. Then I'm like,
(05:58):
all right, everything's more or less prepped. The Turkey's on. I'm going to go take a shower
and get dressed. And so that's why I got out of the shower and just glance at my phone to check the
temperature, make sure everything was working. And it was like a hundred degrees too hot. I'm like,
that's not right. And so I ran downstairs. I saw before I even got outside, I saw the smoke coming
(06:23):
out of it. I'm like, and then he had to run somewhere. Oh, we were dog sitting for friends
and he ran to go let them out real quick and everything was chill. And then I walked outside,
not even five minutes after that happened and it was on fire again. Yeah. Thank gosh that we
caught it like super quick. Yeah. Like we caught it as soon as it did. It charred the bottom.
(06:46):
Like I had it for, if anybody cares, like I spatchcocked it, which means you cut the
backbone out of it and it lays flat. So it only charred like the rib cage. Yeah. It was the
the side of like, well there's Thanksgiving, no Turkey. It's fine. Like we'll just have,
we had so much food. I was like, it's whatever. It's fine. I know he was so upset and he had
(07:09):
spent so much time and I'm like, it's okay. I yelled, yelled. You're like, what's treating you?
I know. I'm like, I thought you got hurt or something. Yeah. Yes. It was, but after we took
the charred skin off and I carved it, it was really good. Everything was so good. He, everything,
(07:30):
he can't cook anything. That's not good. That's not true. It's true. It's true. It's true.
15 years, I've never seen it. So it's true. There's been something. I'm sure there's been
something. I know. 15 years, I'm sure. We just blocked that part out, I guess. No,
no, no, no. We don't talk about that. Everything you do is perfect. It's stupid. Not true. Yeah.
(07:52):
It was good. We had our, all of our kids home. Sorry. Our daughter lives in Florida and she
came home with her, her boyfriend and she spent, and then he went to have to go to bed because he
had to be up at. Yeah. I had to go to work Friday morning. Six in the morning. So I played
Uno with the kids, the cheating kids and never seen people cheat at Uno so much. Like all, like
(08:17):
they were teaming each of, they all had teams and I was the one that was out. So I had no teammate
and they were all working with each other and I was like, whatever. And they were all so happy.
I was like, whatever. It's fine. They were taking like five cards instead of one. Like they wanted
a whole stack of cards. So they could just throw like skips and. Yeah, one of them just quit.
(08:41):
They had like 50 cards in their hand. It was insane. And then they'd switch hands with you.
That's the thing. Oh, I guess there is that one card. 50 cards and they kept having that card
because they'd find it in those 50 cards and then they'd just switch hands with somebody. It was so,
it was so stupid. I mean, nothing tests effectively like, Rennopoly and Uno. Yeah,
(09:03):
she, yeah, they refused to fall. Our oldest refuses to play and not play. She gets so mad.
There's two games that test families. Yeah, that's, that's a good Thanksgiving though.
And it's already onto Christmas now. So yeah, time and spice just like it always is. And we have our
birthday next week. Yeah. Yeah. Our youngest has her birthday. We always have that like comes super
(09:28):
fast because it's like Thanksgiving that and then Christmas just bam, bam, bam. And the kids get off
school again in a minute. And just crazy. It's a hustle, hustle. So you don't hear from us.
It's because we have Christmas programs and all these kids and baby showers and birthdays,
Christmas. It's a lot. And Christmas parties that we're supposed to go to. And Christmas parties
(09:51):
that we can't, we can't go to. So yeah, not happy about it, but family life comes first,
kids come first. And yeah, it'll be, it'll be here before we know it. It'll be gone before we know.
It'll be gone. Yeah. It'll be January 2nd in like three minutes. But then it goes so slow.
(10:15):
January, February is the longest month on the calendar. And I'm dreading it. It's already
so cold in Georgia and everywhere else. It is. It is. Knowing. The other day,
it was yesterday when I was going to work, it was 28 degrees. Yeah. When I took you to work the other
day, it was 28 degrees and it was frost and everything else. It was so cold. And then I'm
(10:39):
looking at everybody up back up north where they're all snow just in their yards and stuff. And I'm
like, it's like 14 degrees. Okay. I'm just kidding. And it was like 40 and I'm like, oh, I'm going to die.
But yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I guess we should get started on the episode. I guess so. We could
talk all day about the weather, but I think they don't want to hear that. So yeah, the first one
(11:02):
is going to be common statements to debate. So these are statements that we hear all the time.
And it's just our thoughts on these different things and why it's wrong or why it's wrong,
right? Why it's correct. Just our opinions on it. Yes. And you have to agree or disagree. Yeah. Okay.
First one. Do we have a time limit on this one? No, no, no. That's the rapid fire. This one you
(11:27):
can take as long as you want. All swinger parties are wild orgees. I wish. I know. I sure wish.
Only if. That's where I thirst for things. I told them. Definitely. That's my kink. I didn't
didn't know that. That's my thing. But we love group sex. Love group sex. I mean, it makes sense
(11:48):
from being exhibitionists and florists. You can do both at the same time. You can watch people
having sex while you're having sex. And I love having crowds. I love being watched. So I wish
they were all wild orgees. And usually they usually do. You usually have to have an orgy organizer.
(12:11):
That's the key. Because swingers are like herding squirrels. Like you can't. Yeah. You can't.
Yes. All over the place. People disappear. You never see them again. Like it's hierarchy. And
all over the place. Having organized one of these such orgies, you always invite more people that
(12:33):
you actually expect because I'd say 30% of them either get distracted and do something else.
Or they're playing some other answer. That happens so many times. Or they're just tired. Or they go
back to bed. Or just go to bed or whatever. But yeah. So yeah. It's very rare when you invite
(12:54):
everybody and they show up. We try to have every single party be an orgy but it doesn't always go
off that way. We get distracted. And usually it's because we're playing somewhere else and then we
miss it. Or we're dancing. Something is going on. We're bad about it. When you say herding, we are
the squirrels. We are squirrels. Everybody is though. I feel like it's not just us. But we are
(13:16):
really bad at squirreling. All right. Next one. You have to be in an open relationship to be a swinger.
To be a swinger or do swinging things? To be a swinger. I mean no. No. Because I don't consider
us in an open relationship. No. That's not true. No. Because our relationship is closed. Yeah.
(13:39):
Closed relationship. Even though we have sex with other people. But when you say a relationship,
that's deeper than the physical aspect. Yeah. You threw me off for a second when you said it.
Because they are one and the same as well. It's like one of those umbrella terms. So some may say
(14:00):
that it is an open relationship. But I think relationship is a lot heavier than swinging.
Like you're talking more polyamory and stuff like that. We're talking about relationships.
We're all looking for a relationship. We've already talked about it before. But we have,
we call it swally. We're really close and have really good friends. But I don't want to live
(14:21):
with these people. I would love to live near these people so we can see them more often.
Maybe in my backyard. That's fine. But I don't think I want to share a dwelling. We can have a
kid, like a roommate situation maybe. Yeah. I feel like- I don't know. I still feel like
for us anyway right now. And that might change in the future. Who knows what happens. But
(14:44):
like as of right now, I don't want, like I want to go to bed with you and have our time and like
have our space and our stuff. Plus hang, you know, do it with our friends occasionally. Not every
night. We just need a community with all of our friends. Yeah. As I said, you can live in my
backyard. That's fine. But I do need like my own living quarters at least. Yeah. I want to be able
(15:05):
to go outside naked and pick my vegetables and stuff and then wave next door to them. Then just
everybody is like, yo. And then we have dinners together and you're in there. But like, it's not
a way to- don't. Like I just, you know what I mean? Yeah. Fine. That's my ideal situation. But okay.
Next one. Swinging is only for old couples. Older. Not anymore. Not anymore. You're welcome.
(15:29):
I'm just kidding. But really, I think when we first final watched how the couples were
older. They were 50s. Yeah. It was very hard to find people of age. Like late 40s in the
late 50s. Yeah. The age definitely went down. At least in club settings and stuff like event
settings and stuff that we went to. Well, the events are catered more towards younger.
(15:53):
Yeah. Now as well. A lot of the events now have like more of like a rave type theme. Yeah.
Which draws in the 20, 30, 40 year olds. And the younger generation coming into it is definitely
more open sexually. Yeah. Yeah. They see a lot more. Yeah. Just younger. And also I've noticed like
(16:21):
talking and like with like people have been the lifestyle for 20 years, 30 years. Those are the
like DTF couples. Yeah. Oh yeah. Where we want like some type of connection. Yeah. We want the
community, the commune. And they're like, it's not that serious. And they're like, yeah. They're
(16:43):
always like, you're not even swingers. Why? Cause I don't want to have sex with everything that
moves. We get to that all of the time because we're not DTF that we are. We're less swingers
than they are. Which we are. We're all swingers and we all just practice it differently. Well,
and I'll say I see DTF in a completely different scope, I guess, as these people. Well, that's
(17:05):
because I know, but like I'm DTF. Well, yeah. That's what they call it. It's the DTF couple.
That's just what the term that people use for people that are looking for like a real quick,
like never known you before real fast. We've done that. I know. It's not for me. It's not like most
of us have, but I think we've all just want a deeper something kind of tree. It's more like we
(17:28):
can do that, but it's way more like exciting and fun. And it's my favorite part is the
foreplay. Flirting in the foreplay and the back and forth and dancing. Yeah. Yeah. So
we can be both. We can. We can all be both. We can all do it all. Doesn't really matter.
(17:48):
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(18:12):
All right. You cannot be a singer if you're introverted. That is very much so false because
that's me. I don't want to be an introverted species. You are. Don't do well.
And those two. But you come out of your shell in those environments. I've come a long way as well.
I'm definitely not the same person that I was before. But yeah, come a long way. I guess you
(18:36):
can be introverted. And we have so many friends who are also introverted, freakiest people you'll
ever meet. Down there. Down for the introverted ones are the freakiest. Yeah. So find me. Like
they don't just because you're introverted. You have to be comfortable being uncomfortable. And
once you learn that, you just got to push yourself a little bit outside of your comfort zone.
(19:01):
Yeah. There's a lot of it. It opens a lot of way to introvert here. For sure. All right.
Swinging is just for couples and singles don't really fit in. Not true at all. Not true at all.
They make you think that on social media, a lot of the times the stuff with the single
content talks a lot about how like there's no space, but there is a space. There's a
(19:23):
hundred percent space. And they're very much. A lot of people get in a lot. People we know have
gotten into the lifestyle with like bulls and unicorns like that. Yeah. Like that's a big
gateway to the lifestyle. We know a lot of people that like regularly found lifestyle as a single
and then have since gotten in relationships and are exploring lifestyle as couples, which is two
(19:47):
separate jerks. I think it's a lot less common to be a full-soul couple than it is to be have played
with singles. We've never played with singles before, which I think is pretty rare. Yeah.
Most couples have played with singles. I think. Oh, we've played with singles, but it was always
as a couple. That's what I'm saying. Like we've never played, you know what I mean? Like a lot of
(20:07):
people play separately and do all of that too. And there's a big, there's a big like space for
singles and definitely in this lifestyle. And I think that they are very much appreciate. We,
we appreciate you. We love you. I don't want to throw shade, but also the most people that say that
are guys that don't understand the other. Like, I'm sorry. Like that's true. But the people are,
(20:32):
there's no room for single guys. That's not true. There's lots of room for single guys,
but you also, you have to be charismatic and fun to talk to. That's hard to be a successful
single person in the lifestyle. It's hard to be a successful. That's a whole different story right
there. But yeah, it's, but there's space. There's definitely space. There's definitely a need for
singles. And we love our singles and our couples and everyone. Okay. Everyone in the lifestyle is
(21:00):
open-minded and accepting. Not true. Unfortunately. We're hoping to get there. That's the goal.
That's the purpose. That's we're trying to help. Yeah. It's for such a hold hands and things, but
what we as lifestyles the whole, we claim to be so sexually open and there's still a lot of judgment.
(21:24):
There's still a lot of body shaming, shit talking. There's still a lot of homophobia
when it comes to other guys. Like the, you don't see homophobia towards women really
like bisexual and lesbian are like welcome with open arms boy comes to them bisexual or gay guys.
Straight woman in lifestyle. Yeah. Yeah. It's not common thing. Yeah. Yeah. That's the straight
(21:50):
woman is the minority when it comes or they feel like they have to be bi when they're really
not bi. That was my kind of journey for the first year because I've in my past have played with
women. I have kissed women. I've always been attracted to certain women. I'm very picky,
(22:12):
but I'm also very picky with my men. You helped me realize that because I never felt bi. I always
was like, I enjoyed the times I have been with women, but I have to be attracted to them. And
so the concept, I never understood that. You're bisexual. Listen to me. You're attracted to every
woman, just like you're not attracted to every man. He kept reminding me that because he was like,
(22:34):
I struggled with am I bi or am I straight? And I really felt like a straight from like I was
straight for the first year. I think for the most part, I felt very straight because I wasn't,
I didn't feel bi enough. Yeah. And I still struggle with feeling bi enough because I am very
picky and choosy, but that's like, he always reminds me that you're also like that with men
and you consider yourself like you love men. Yeah. It's not any different. Yeah. Yeah. And it helps me
(22:58):
a lot. And I've been able to this last year, really explore women and kind of learn and
I'm learning and figuring it out and you know, having fun with women and it's been nice to have
people too. This lifestyle has helped me to definitely like experiment and see if I am or not.
And now I am finally like, you know, I've been saying like I'm bisexual and I've been owning that.
(23:18):
Yeah. But yeah, it's definitely- Well, like your dynamic with women is different than it is with men.
Yeah. And that's what I'm learning. Yeah. But I wouldn't have learned any of that without the
lifestyle and yeah. Unfortunately, yeah. The original question is open-minded and accepting.
And we ran on our little trans tangent there, but it's a good- But yeah, unfortunately we're not,
(23:40):
as a whole, we're not as open-minded and accepting as we say. Unfortunately, it's a lot of the older
generation are the ones who just don't, they just don't, I find more resistance with them than any
other. I don't think, so there was this, I don't think it's any type of prejudice or anything like
that. I think it's just a fear of change. Yeah. As like people. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I do agree.
(24:04):
Because most of their like anger is because we're not doing it right or we're not enough,
doing enough of something or it's too much of something. Yeah. And especially like from what
we see on the social media, on the podcast and stuff like that is they don't see us as
(24:25):
equals. Like we're less than them because they don't do anything. We're still trying to earn
our credits. We're trying to earn our street cred. We're trying to earn our street cred as a swinger.
Like they somehow think that we're profiting off of the lifestyle. Yeah, I get that all the time.
And I will laugh. You know what song I was singing before when we were making the bed to bake the
(24:46):
podcast? We work hard for no money. Must work hard for no money. Because we are filming this at
10 30 PM. We just had a full day and just got the kids to go to bed and finish watching Christmas
movies and dinner and everything else. And we knew we had to get it done right now because we also
have a party this weekend, a family friendly party and people we don't know, family members,
(25:14):
boyfriend that we're meeting for the first time. Yeah. And so we have to deep clean the whole house.
My sister's coming for the weekend and my kids coming all weekend as well. And all of them are
staying here and yeah. And so like I wish I wish I wish but I love you guys. It's totally worth it.
But if you want to donate to the cause and paint that comment. The original thing was that, you
(25:40):
know, they think that we're trying to profit off their lifestyle and we get told that all day,
every single day. Yeah. So far, you actually said it is it's not they think it's their lifestyle.
Yeah. Oh, I did for that reason. Yeah. It's not theirs. It's ours. Like as a whole. Yeah.
(26:01):
We're yeah, no one owns the lifestyle. There's no Bible. There's no like it's rule. It is what we
have made it be a good person. Yeah. Be kind. Yeah. Let's be kind and accepting of new things
and people. And there's gonna be new people. It's a good thing. Good thing. Stop fighting us. Okay.
(26:22):
Next question. This is going to take forever. Swinging is only about physical pleasure.
Emotional connections aren't part of it. Say we first can be. It can be. It can be. It can be.
We first got lost. That's how it was. It was like it was strictly physical. We were very
(26:42):
duty of couple that we ran around and we were like, yeah, we were just until we just made
connections with we saw how good it can be. Like they're at this point, they're family. Yeah. Yeah.
Um, but yeah, they we were that DTF where they were like, what's the difference? What's the
(27:03):
swing? What's the difference between Polly and swingers? And always our answer was no emotion.
And I, that's what we said first. No emotion. And I was like, we gotta stop saying that. I was like,
there's a lot of emotion. There's a lot of feels. There's a lot of chemistry. There's a lot of vibes.
That's what makes the lifestyle so beautiful. And that's why we love the addictive cocaine effect.
(27:24):
We call it. It's that like more it's like deeper and it's more exciting when you have those things.
And we've learned that. But yeah, it was, I hated, I hated that. I hated that answer. No emotion,
no feelings. No. Yeah. No. And it could be whatever you want it to be. Yeah. It can be,
but like we enjoy the butterflies and the flirting and the, and there are nights where we just are
(27:52):
like down to fuck, you know, or just like you're a hot or hot, it hits off and stuff like that.
You know, but like, yeah, but it's still like for me, even when we do that, like,
and it does still happen, but like, like you're hot or hot. Like we, we still hit it off in some
way other than we talk a little like physical ways. Like we always hit it. And they're like,
(28:14):
has to be about, let's just, let's just go get a room. You want to go? Yeah. Yeah. There still has
to be a moment where we're getting, you know, to know each other a little bit, a little bit,
especially for me. I'm the one that you would be down immediately in the moment, but I need
a little bit of a little bit of, but even in that situation, it's more just performative for me.
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(29:21):
These are, these are the ones that were submitted on our stories from our followers.
They're not ones that I sought after on my stuff. Okay. Okay. So these are a little bit closer to
home. Singing is only for people with perfect bodies. That is not true. I am, and you are,
the definition of that because we're singers and we do not have perfect bodies.
(29:46):
Oh, we do it. You have, I think you have a perfect body.
If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
But really, I think you do. I think you have a perfect body too, but I'm just saying,
but in society, the perfect body, you're the perfect body for me. I love that body. And
(30:07):
it's perfect for me, but I'm saying society's standards. Now there are women that have the
perfect bodies. Like the societal perfect body. But you don't have to have that. But you don't
have to have it at all. That's definitely not required. No. All right. Couples who swing
(30:28):
can't take the relationship seriously. True. That is true. Why would you do that? Why would
you take it seriously? That's a hundred percent serious. We have, you've never met more people
more serious about marriage. Yeah. Period. Yeah. I don't care. No, they, we have always been
(30:51):
like pretty solid on our belief that marriage is a big fucking deal. It's the biggest deal.
I actually just had this conversation yesterday with a lady at work. I do know. Because she was
asking me about my like professional past. And I mentioned how I used to work a lot. Yeah. Oh yeah.
And she's like, oh, so you were like on the edge of divorce. I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no.
(31:15):
You misunderstood that. Like I just worked a lot and it was frustrating for both of us because I
was at home. No. She's like, oh, she's like, you, I'm like, that's a curse word in our house. Oh yeah.
We don't, we don't say that word. We always have said that. We don't say that. She's like, oh,
she's like, and then she's like, okay, I get it now. But I'm like, yeah, I just had that conversation
(31:36):
with a lady at work. Like there's never been more thing, we've ever been serious than our marriage
and we hold that very, very dear to our hearts. Like our marriage is our number one purpose,
everything. That's how, I mean, we say it as a joke a lot of times, but it's like when we see
something with like a red flag with another couple, it's a them thing. This is an us thing.
(31:59):
And that's, and that is a, basically a way to protect our relationship. Cause if we got involved,
it could be twisted and crazy stuff happens. It could affect our relationship emotionally.
Yeah. So that's kind of one of our, we've always been very much like if our marriage is affected
(32:22):
in a negative way and we've been good since at that, since we were 21, like 22 years old,
22 years old, like we, if it makes us feel any sort of certain way and it interferes with our
marriage and our relationship, shut it down. And we're don't want to part of that. And we've always
been very serious. So we do. That is not true. And then, okay, we've got, you have to go to
(32:49):
swing your clubs to be part of the life as well. Nope. Now there are so many people who have never
been to a seraphim and they've been lifestyle for 20 years, 30 years, never been to a club.
I remember, it was a couple of years ago now, but we were talking to a couple and they,
we've been in lifestyle for 20 years or so. They were older couple and they had just went to secrets
(33:18):
for the first time. Yeah. There's a lot that you do privately, you know, at home and dates,
like locally and like friends and more of the secret, like really discrete vibes. And like you
were saying, like bring bulls to their homes and unicorns to their homes and stuff, like a very
personal thing in the lifestyle. And they just never been to clubs or resorts or events or,
(33:42):
you know, and it's not, it's, that's not everybody's. No, no. Yeah. Oh, like there are,
we know. We've heard so many people that have tried different like clubs or secrets or events
and I'm just like, it's just not, we just can't. It's just, we went home. Yeah. We didn't like it
there. I can't talk. It's just not every couple's cup of tea, but like, you know, some people just
(34:06):
want to sit outside by a fire and just, you know, get, you know, talk to a couple, just
two on two or one, you know, two on one or whatever one and rather do it that way than go to these big
to do's and stuff. And, you know, like everything, like we said, it can be literally whatever you
want it to be. And so, yeah, I feel like you've said that before. This one was part of my video.
(34:31):
I put out today. Yeah. So I have stuff to say that I don't, I'm not nobody, you know, not a lot of
people agree with me, but you should never bring your kids into the conversation about swinging
into a conversation about swinging. So our opinion on that is maybe it's because we were outed and we
(34:56):
had no choice, but to bring those conversations. I think it's so much more nonchalant for us and
more of like, this is how like, cause we're on the other side of it. I think maybe I think people,
cause it's part of this negative stigma of the lifestyle, cause they automatically connected
with sex children and then sex and children don't go together. So they automatically assume if you're
(35:20):
talking about this with your child, it's an inappropriate conversation, which isn't the fact.
No. Like when we had this conversation with our kids, we talked to them about different
late relationship dynamics. I love differently people, you know, people go on dates with other
people. It depends on their age and what their age is. It's appropriate or you know what I mean?
(35:41):
Like any doesn't, we've never once been like, oh yeah, we participate in orgies in these playrooms
that they like, we've never, they don't know what happens. We've never talked about, they think
we're hanging out with our friends. Like that's to them, it's just hanging out with our friends
and going on dates together is like going out to dinner with another couple. Like it's not,
(36:01):
like we're friends, like it's not. Or if we're actually hosting, like hosts said it a bit,
they like, oh, you got to work this weekend. Yeah, it's like a work. It's like, yeah, yeah.
Cause yeah, for hosting for, cause if we're hosting, we're not just going to party.
And they understand our mission and they understand, like there's ways to,
if you would like to have the, you know, if you would like to have that conversation with your
(36:24):
kids and you want to be a hundred percent out and open with everyone, if that's what you want to do,
there are ways to do it without it being so negative all the time.
We're like, we're fortunate enough where we are already
training our children to be open minded and accepting people. But
(36:45):
since we had to have those conversations with our kids, it's opened the door for other
conversations like sexuality. And like we had a whole conversation at the dinner table one night
about bisexuality and what that actually means. And, yeah, cause he was curious. He, he genuinely
(37:09):
was a teenage boy that was just curious what that means. Cause he was a teenager,
a teenage boy that was just curious what that means. Cause he's heard it before.
And so I am in school a hundred percent believer of if they're old enough to ask the question,
there's a age appropriate way to answer it and give them.
We never like brought up sex in that explanation.
(37:31):
None of our stuff has ever been about sex with people.
It's not sexualized.
There's ways to have people understand them, understand that, you know,
we just live life a little bit differently and that's okay. It's okay to live a different life
than other people. And it's okay to do stuff that's not normal and seen as normal. And that's all
right. There's ways that you can bring them. And if you don't want to, you don't have to.
(37:55):
It's not. Again, it's your family, your children, your life.
I think back of when we were our kids' ages and I didn't want to know about my parent's sex life.
No. Yeah.
And then you become like a teenager, like, you know, they have sex, but you still don't want to
know about it. So why was it any different if we like what we do in private consensually with other
(38:26):
consenting adults? Why would our care or kids care about?
Then the fact that people always constantly just throw kids when they talk about sex.
It's the first thing they throw out.
Children, children. I'm like, it's kind of weird.
I don't know. I could go on for days about that one. It's a whole thing. And, you know,
like, I just don't think that kids see pineapples and stuff and think that, oh,
(38:49):
I just don't. They see a pineapple. Like, I don't know. Nobody's paying.
There's so many symbols that are in this world.
And we talked about this because you didn't put out the video you wanted to put out. You put out
a second video saying, you know what, I'm not going to share my opinion.
Yeah, this was the original video. I know what I talked about.
You made a good point in that first video that you didn't share. And you said
(39:16):
it opens, if they can ask a question about that pineapple and why it's on there, there's
opportunity there to teach.
About children, about different relationships and dynamics and different, just humans in general.
Like it could have been, it could be as easy as an age.
(39:36):
Oh, that's a symbol for couples that are non-monogamous or non-monogamous.
Yeah. Or they enjoy other couples.
Like it doesn't have to be.
Yeah, it doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be about sex.
I mean, you got to throw sex in there and automatically think we're telling people about,
like, going doggy on some neighbor guy. Like, it's just not, that's not the conversation people
(39:59):
are having with their kids. I promise. I really, I promise you that's not how that conversation is
going. And, but yeah. Okay. Next one. Because we could keep talking about that for a whole episode.
Okay. Couples get into swinging because they don't love each other.
We already answered that one.
(40:21):
Have you met us before? Not true.
Actually, it's a bigger turn on. We can tell the couple love each other.
Or like obsessed with each other. Like, yeah, it's definitely a hot,
takes their hot level like a ton. Yeah.
Cause the biggest hurdle for us in the lifestyle is couples that,
(40:42):
and I'll say that all the time, like they're not solid. I'll go up to him when I meet couples.
And like if I do, especially my single things, I've told him I've reported back to him when he
was at events and stuff and been like, stay away from them. They're not solid. And that's all he
needs to know. They're not good. They're not good. Like if I see any like sign, I'm just like,
just be careful. Cause I don't think they're good. You can usually tell if there's something
(41:07):
going on. And you can see within the relationships and it's like, be careful. Be careful.
Cause they're, we're not going to stop talking to you, but also, we can still be swimmers.
We're good at that. We can still navigate that, but we don't want to, we don't have to.
And so we've just stopped. We used to do that.
(41:27):
Well I'm not even saying that being swinger, but like we can still be friends with them,
but there won't be going past that.
Yeah. That too. But we can also, we can also ignore it for a night. Sometimes.
We used to, I'm not saying any more of my, I always run up to them and be like, no,
let's just stop. Cause we've learned since then.
(41:47):
It creates more problems than it's worth.
It's not worth it. It's not worth it. You can go find another couple that you can have a great
night with and not have to tip toe or feel weird or.
Have weird moments.
Weird. Yeah. It doesn't have to be weird. All, you know.
You don't have to deal with.
There's too many people out there.
Them freaking out in the middle.
Too many other options.
Of activity.
We used to really try really hard to like help, help. That was the worst. Like help each other out.
(42:14):
Remember that? Oh my gosh. When there was marriages that were just not good or not even marriages.
They were just together.
Not a problem.
Not good. And they'd be like, so he did this and that. I'm like, yeah, you guys, this is way to a
vellum, vanilla conversation in a swinger position and I don't like it. We're going to not do that.
Okay. These now this is, oh, no, no, no, no. One more question. One more question from a father
(42:39):
or statement from a father. The lifestyle is too expensive. It's three times as expensive
for single males versus females also. Yes.
That is true. Both things are true.
Yes. One, there are less expensive ways to export a lifestyle. You don't have to go,
you don't have to drop $1,200 for a weekend. Just go to a hotel takeover.
(43:01):
You don't have to do that.
Go on a $5,000 cruise or, you know, go to Jamaica. You'll have to do all these big
events that are more pretty expensive. They get expensive.
So expensive.
Between hotels and event tickets and traveling, travel.
Lights.
Yeah.
(43:22):
Costumes.
I'm not going to say it's not expensive because it is.
It's very expensive.
But it doesn't have to be. You can literally find your local community
and go out to dinner.
Once you start finding your people, you can do whatever and just hang out in your house
or at a hotel or Airbnb and just watch movies all night. It doesn't have to be
(43:44):
that expensive. And actually, those are usually what we prefer those times.
This past year or so, we've just decided to do a lot less events and the traveling
and the frivolous lifestyle. And we've kind of really backed it back home to trapeze
and local things and close friends and couples that we know locally. And I've enjoyed it.
(44:08):
It's again that connection and that vibe, chemistry. You get more of that when you do stuff at home.
But also the second part of that is it is three times more expensive for a single male.
And it is.
There's couples.
Yes.
Now there are certain companies, groups that have a set price for everyone per person.
(44:30):
And I was up to dark is a very big advocate for single males. And they definitely are
pushing towards like in like how they do their tickets. It's literally this price per person.
As it's not.
And I understand why I get those sides. I do.
Like you don't want to over saturate a party with a whole bunch of single guys.
(44:53):
Yeah.
And so they upcharge this to weed out the people that are.
I don't know what the right word for it is.
As ethical and not really. And a lot of them you'll find that not a lot of them, but I guess,
I don't know, trapeze on Fridays will really show you like there's a lot of not lifestyle
(45:17):
people that come there just to get laid.
So there's a lot of navigating that out.
But trapeze is one of those places that charges single men more.
So I don't I also don't think I don't understand.
Yeah, the events like the scale of that would be way, way bigger.
Like Secrets is a place that does that. Like I want to say membership for a month for a single male is like.
(45:46):
Pretty much everyone, every thing that we've ever been to or attended has way more priced tickets.
And we've been to events too that are there are no singles allowed period.
Oh yeah. We've been to a couple of flashes like that.
Yes, Blas is a couples only event.
Yeah, there are quite a few couples.
But even them, they're they're offering like throuple packages to fight that now.
(46:08):
Yeah, so we're getting there. We are like everybody's.
Somebody's got to start it, you know, somebody's got to, you know, and I do believe in
inclusivity and like not excluding people based on, you know, and so I do.
It's a fine line.
I know I get it.
And it's like you want to because you want to protect the masses.
You don't want shady people just to walk in like a by a 50 dollar ticket and come in.
(46:36):
But 90 percent of the single guys are more ethical than a guy you're going to be at a bar.
I know, I know, I know. So yeah.
And I think a lot of it was that we've always been taught single males were horrible things.
They also they're also fighting against even a harsher stigma than the swingers in general.
(46:58):
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
And you're just constantly hearing like how horrible single males are and all the time.
It's like you have to retrain yourself.
Like once you start actually meeting real lifestyle, single males.
Yeah.
More bad experiences with single females.
Oh, for sure.
I have said that single males.
Day one.
Like day one.
Every single guy I've talked to in the lifestyle has been respectful.
(47:21):
They say we get there and talk about whatever.
And if we like and they'll like to you guys, are you do you like single guys or like West
Order McFarland?
Prefer.
No proposition.
Oh, there we go.
And if we say no, they're like, oh, OK, no problem.
(47:44):
Yeah. Let me know if you change your mind.
Yeah.
If you need me.
No, but God forbid.
Yeah. Yeah, we've had some not so great experience.
Or most single women.
I don't want to say most because that's not true.
But a lot of single women that we've met don't understand the boundaries that single males.
(48:09):
They think that they have this like princess mentality where I'm not saying all of them,
but we have run into a lot of them that think that they should be held above everybody else.
And it's kind of like I don't have to have rules.
Let's be honest.
I do what I want.
Because a lot of couples only are looking for single females.
No.
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Our last segment, our final segment is going to be rapid fire questions.
We have to talk for 30 seconds about whatever these misconceptions or myths or statements
or whatever you have to fill a whole 30 seconds with an argument.
(49:16):
But I feel like it'll be all right.
About you just have to respond to why it is not true or why it is true or anything.
You have to talk for 30 whole seconds.
Say it's the timer.
I got it.
All right.
First one.
Hold on.
I got an hour and 30 seconds.
We don't want to do that.
Don't do that.
Okay.
None of it.
All right.
Swinging is the same as cheating.
(49:36):
Go.
No.
Done.
No, I'm just kidding.
Swinging is the exact opposite of cheating.
Actually, there's cheating.
You're hiding things from your partner.
You're being dishonest, disloyal.
Is that even a word?
Disloyal.
(49:57):
But deceptive.
Deceptive.
All the D's.
Yeah.
All the D's.
But most importantly, you're.
Done.
Out of time.
To we'll never know.
But you did good.
You did.
You have to tune in later for this.
(50:19):
Have you finished that statement?
Okay.
Number two.
Number two?
Yes.
Okay.
Ready?
Swingers are heeding this with no morals.
It sounds like my Instagram.
Every single comment I get told that I have no morals.
(50:39):
And I say to that, yes, I do.
Like, why does you have sex with have anything to do with my morals?
Morals are very personal, like deep inside thing.
It has nothing to do with my sex life.
And those are two.
That's I hate that.
I hate that so much.
No dignity, no morals, no respect or anything.
(51:01):
You're indignant.
No, I'm very moral person.
Oh, that's it.
Okay.
All right.
Ready?
You should always inform your partner about every thought you have during a swap.
Every thought?
Every thought.
No, no.
Because I have some intrusive thoughts.
(51:22):
Now you mean to.
Now I mean to.
Like I have intrusive thoughts all day.
I want to know.
That's true.
It's just who you are.
They can't be repeated.
Like what goes on in my brain sometimes is just a game I play with myself.
(51:44):
But it's like, what if?
All right, you're done out of time.
But that being said, I know I'm past 30 seconds, but if it's something that I feel passionate about,
and then yes, but not every thought.
Every thought.
(52:05):
Same.
In my brain, I couldn't even tell you.
I mean, if I said everything or came up with me, some of those thoughts would be like, crap.
No, there's a lot of it.
I have said that out loud before, but.
All right.
Number four.
Number four.
All right.
(52:27):
The lifestyle is just a fad and it will die out.
The lifestyle is thriving and growing by the minute.
I was just reading an article today about how five, it was 4% of the Americans,
American adults participate in some form of nominogamy and now it's up to 5%.
And that's just very small, tiny little studies and think how many people are discrete
(52:52):
and no one knows about the lifestyle.
They say one in every four people that you meet.
Yeah, have explored the lifestyles.
I think that definitely, definitely is growing.
Oh, 100%.
Not going to sex isn't going away.
All right.
Ready?
I'm ready.
Next.
Okay.
(53:13):
Swinging can help improve communication in a relationship.
110%.
Like can, should.
Like it's not like you can't do it.
It should, like it's not, there's no can it, it should.
Like if you're, we talk about how you do it your own way,
(53:35):
but if in my opinion, the correct way to do less is talking to your partner.
Like if you're not talking to your partner about your experience, then why are you doing it?
Not a very good experience.
Exactly.
You're good.
I see.
(53:56):
All right.
That was a good 32nd one actually.
All right.
I think they've all been pretty good.
Good swingers.
I never experienced jealousy.
Good swingers again.
Back with this good swingers.
We have a different level of what swinger we are, but that's not true at all.
(54:18):
Like it's okay to experience jealousy.
Jealousy is not like a bend all be all to being a swinger.
If you have jealousy, it doesn't mean that you're not good at the lifestyle
or that you're not doing it correctly.
It means that you're a human.
And most of us have been married to our person for a minute or longer like us.
(54:38):
And it's just different.
And yeah.
Yeah.
Motions happen.
It's a basic human emotion.
Like it's, it boils down to your basic human emotion.
It's what you do.
It's how you deal with it.
We suck at 30 seconds.
I know.
Okay.
I'm a slow talker.
All right.
(54:59):
You always, you actually have mentioned that in your first time.
All right.
The swingers are more likely to get STDs than monogamous people.
No, we're, I'd say, yes, we have sex more often than monogamous people, I would say,
(55:20):
but we practice safe sex almost 100%.
Like I want to say 100%.
But there are instances where people are exclusive with other couples that don't use protection.
But they're usually tested.
But they're also, I was getting ready to say is they're also getting regularly tested to
(55:44):
make sure their other partners are safe.
Where monogamous couples, what's the percentage of monogamous couples that experience infidelity
or commit infidelity?
How many times?
Are they having?
How many times you went to a bar, pick up a girl and you asked for their STD testing
and they hand it to you.
(56:05):
Exactly.
And had condoms in her pocket.
Yeah.
Or her husband's pocket.
Her husband's pocket.
I thought we do.
But you know what I mean.
You never have pockets.
You know what I mean.
Or my pouch that's in my back pocket.
All right.
They've already really talked about that one.
Just peeked at it.
We haven't seen any of these.
(56:26):
We're just reading them as it goes.
Swinging requires strict rules and boundaries.
I've said it a million times, especially this episode, swinging can be whatever you
want it to be.
If you want to have 400 boundaries and rules and have, you know, contracts that you need
(56:46):
people to sign, or if you have one boundary or no boundaries, you can do whatever you
want to do.
And it's good to have a set of boundaries and limits and stuff because there is guarantee
there's something you're not into or you don't want to do.
And I promise, but you don't have to.
You can do whatever you want it to be or don't want it to be for the millionth time.
(57:10):
For the millionth time.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
You must have a membership to be in the lifestyle.
100%.
We have so many memberships.
I'm selling membership cards on Cash Happened.
We have so many memberships.
We have so many memberships.
(57:30):
We have memberships all over the country.
There's so many different things.
Because yes, no, you do.
I want to start a national swingers club.
We have a lot of membership cards.
We should write the Bible for it.
Do it already.
So we can...
This is the law.
No.
(57:52):
So in that respect, I'm out of 30 seconds.
But...
A lot of swingers clubs and resorts require membership for entry.
We will say that.
But you do not have to have a membership to be a swinger.
Not to be a swinger.
Just to go to swinger things for the most part you do.
(58:14):
But not to be a swinger.
No.
All right.
Last and final question.
Go on ahead.
Do you prefer to be a swinger or open to same-sex encounters?
Go.
Not true.
We kind of talked about this earlier how I felt like at the beginning I wasn't bi.
(58:36):
So I felt out of place.
And I felt kind of weird.
Because it did feel like every female that I met was bisexual.
It's very rare to find just straight women.
But no, that's not true.
You're just fun and still got to like...as long as you're comfortable with yourself.
You can have fun.
(58:58):
I'm straight.
And you're straight.
There are also bi-curious, bisexual, and bi-flexible guys in the lifestyle that we've met.
And bi-comfortable.
On the spectrum, like exploring.
(59:20):
Experimenting.
But you don't have to.
It's not a requirement.
No.
And I mean, you should be open to it.
Have fun.
I think you should be open to same-sex scenarios.
To me.
To encounters.
Now I feel like you have to be comfortable with another naked guy in the same room as you.
(59:44):
Yes. You have to be secure in your manhood to some extent.
Because if you're not, we know people who aren't and struggle with their own self.
And they're very self-conscious.
Not self-conscious, but I guess so.
They're just not secure in their selves.
And they get really weirded out by other men.
And it's a them thing.
(01:00:06):
That's what's the biggest thing.
It's a them thing.
They're not comfortable in their own skin enough and they're always comparing themselves to other people.
So I think you should be open to anything.
But you don't have to be.
You don't have to be.
I think you should be cool.
And if it's not for you, don't yuck someone's yum.
(01:00:28):
You know, that's what they say.
I think.
I don't think I've ever heard that one before.
Really? Don't yuck someone's yum.
That's very common.
You just come up with fric.
That's a good one.
Yes.
I did.
I did that.
Yeah, because I'm cool and hip.
(01:00:50):
But you know what, guys?
This is a way longer episode than we ever planned it to be.
And so we still have over an hour.
Another couple of segments left.
And there is no way we're going to squeeze that into an hour.
So we don't even have commercials or any editing.
But it's going to be over an hour, I believe.
So unfortunately, but fortunately, we will continue this.
(01:01:14):
I mean, we'll do a whole other episode and we will finish out our statements.
Yeah, we'll definitely have to add these.
Even if it's not the same subject.
And the next one's were funny ones, too.
It was a whole funny, funny.
I feel like we can throw these at the end of an episode or something just for fun.
I think this episode was really good and gets our opinions up.
And it kind of gets people to know where we stand and what we believe in.
(01:01:38):
And introduces what we kind of...
Yeah, it gives them something to think about.
Yeah, maybe hopefully.
Oh, they have a good point.
But I also don't...
You don't have to feel the same way.
No, disagree. Go on, disagree. Talk about it.
We want you guys to sit together with your person or your people and talk about this stuff.
And tell them that you don't agree with what I said.
(01:02:00):
This is the great debate episode.
Yeah, we would like to spark some conversation and make sure that you leave us, you know.
And you know what? It's okay to agree to disagree.
Okay, we're all different people.
We don't have to see eye to eye to be friends.
Just be kind and be nice and be open.
That's literally what the lifestyle is supposed to be.
(01:02:22):
Is kind and open-minded and amazing, wonderful.
It just gets...
That's what attracted us to this lifestyle to begin with.
Why we love it. That's why we're here.
That's why we do a podcast.
That's why we are here.
It is just for you guys.
Our love for the lifestyle.
And we love that you're all different and you all have different ways to do the lifestyle.
(01:02:46):
And you all have different relationship dynamics and different stories.
And you're all different people.
And we love that.
And we don't mind having a different opinion than everybody else.
We mean be nice to each other.
We love each other. And we love you.
We appreciate you for being here.
And yeah, we will have to wrap this up.
Yeah.
Until next week.
(01:03:08):
We're gonna have to stay tuned for another part.
For part two.
The Great Debate.
If you don't like it, tell us and then we won't even bother.
Please.
But yeah, I plan on... I think it was good.
I think it was too.
I think it was a good one.
Not that serious.
Don't make it weird.
We love you guys. Bye.
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