December 11, 2024 • 51 mins
Russ and Ashley of 'Hot Couple Chronicles' discuss swinger events, including clubs, takeovers, resorts and house parties. They share tips on preparation, what to bring, and emphasize consent and comfort. They recount a busy week and announce a holiday break, with plans to return discussing their New Year's Eve adventures.
Special thanks and music credit to our friend @nominalfilter on Soundcloud!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Hot Couple Chronicles, a podcast exploring the singing lifestyle.
(00:04):
Our discussions may contain explicit content and adult themes intended for mature audiences.
While we strive to offer valuable insights and entertainment, please be aware that the
views expressed are based on personal experiences and opinions. We encourage listeners to approach
the content with an open mind and to prioritize communication, consent, and respect in their
(00:25):
relationships. Remember everyone's journey is unique, so take what resonates with you and leave
what doesn't. Thank you for joining us on our adventure.
I'm Russ and I'm Ashley and this is Hot Couple Chronicles. Welcome back. Welcome. Happy Wednesday.
(01:02):
Yes. Today we're talking about events and takeovers and...
Attends, resorts, all the things you need to know.
Exactly.
Yeah, it's going to be good. We've had like so many questions about this and
I made a TikTok today explaining it a little bit more in detail. I got a lot of good responses.
A lot of people were, you know, they wish they would have heard that before they attended their
(01:24):
first event and I do too. We walked in blindly and...
I think a lot of people walk in blindly and not...
Yeah.
Just don't know what to expect and are scared.
So we want to help you out. We want to make it less scary. And so, yeah, but this past week
we've had a crazy busy week.
It's been a busy week.
Yeah, your work schedule's a lot and you've been working a lot and weird hours. He's in
(01:46):
training and he's doing different meetings and stuff. This past couple weeks his schedule's
been weird, but we had, we cleaned, we had to clean the house, top, bottom, last...
I worked all like from six to eight. It's Saturday or Friday.
And you cleaned all day.
I spent all day cleaning. The kids from school, he was at work all day. So I
(02:07):
washed everything in the house that's washable, cleaned everything. My sister was coming from
Florida. My daughter was coming from Florida. Her boyfriend's coming from Florida. So we had a family
party on Saturday. So Friday was a lot of prepping for that. We had to get the house ready.
Yeah. How to get the food ready.
Food.
Yeah, the food ready. He smoked a pork butt for like 15 hours. Yeah, we had to do that.
(02:32):
And then every year we get invited to local Christmas parties.
It's probably one of my favorite parties.
Yeah. And this was our favorite.
Favorite group of people.
This is our favorite yearly party. And it was of course the same day as our vanilla family party.
Yeah. We didn't know we were going to even make it to the Christmas party. We're like,
(02:53):
we have this party going on. And...
Chances are we probably aren't going to make it. My sister's here and stuff. But
luckily they knew my sister because we had went to Atlanta together, all of us with her.
And she gets along really well with them. So I was like, if everyone leaves the house
and it's over in time, maybe we'll sneak over and say hi. Because we hadn't seen them for a good six...
It's been a long time.
That's what everybody said when we walked in. We're like, we haven't seen you in forever.
(03:15):
For ever. Yeah. We've been... life's been lifing with our friends and us and everything.
Yeah.
We all have been going through things and so we don't get to see each other as much. We used to
see each other like weekly. So it's weird to not see each other so much. And so we got to sneak out.
We grabbed our stuff and literally ran out after everybody went.
(03:36):
We even grabbed emergency like swimsuits and stuff just in case we got in the hot tub.
Yeah. We had a hot tub. And I'm so glad we went.
Yeah. It was a good time.
It's always... And like half of the people there, we didn't know it was new couples that he had met.
Yeah. Through their adventures.
In their journeys, in their travels. And it was just a really cool, awesome group of people. And
(03:57):
he goes all out. His house was decorated. A Christmas sweater was the theme and he had tinsel.
It was so good. He knows how to throw a party. And his whole house was made to host a party.
Yeah.
He built that house to entertain.
Yeah. He thrives there. And it was fun. We played Jenga from La La. We played a lot of Jenga,
which I'm not good at, but I did it.
(04:20):
I got overconfident a couple of times.
I got the block out and then I put it on top, all cocky like, and started walking away. And half
a step, it just topples. I'm like, son of a bitch.
Yeah. They had done a naughty Christmas exchange.
Yeah. We missed that.
Gift exchange that we didn't get to do. And they had a chicken trophy. It was all...
Yeah, the best dressed.
(04:41):
All out. The best dressed trophy.
Same person as every year. It's always him.
And we missed that part. We missed the exchange and stuff, but everyone's costumes are awesome.
So awesome. And most everyone was lifestyle. I think everyone was lifestyle.
There was lifestyle except your sister.
Luckily, she was pretty cool and she had a good time. We had a fire going and it was fun. It was
(05:03):
so much fun. I'm glad we got to go for even for a little bit. It was fun.
We went to go for a little bit.
While they pulled out the... What was the name of that? Punish Me Daddy.
Oh yeah. Fat Cartoon.
Punish Me Daddy. He brought it out to show me and he was like, I got a new game because he's all
about games as well. And so he brought it out and he was like, you want to play? And that was when
we were getting ready to walk out the door. I was getting ready to leave.
(05:25):
But, you know, I was like, fuck it. We'll play for a little bit. Well, that ended up turning into a
whole thing. It was funny.
It was so much fun. And everyone was so... Everyone participated. It was fun.
That's the thing about playing games like that with swingers is everybody goes full set.
Down for a good time. Yeah. And it really wasn't that bad. Like it wasn't really naughty.
(05:48):
It was vanilla spicy.
It was very vanilla. But it was just stupid stuff. Like I can't even think of what they were now.
It was... You had to pick two cards and you had to do both of them at the same time or do a
punishment card.
Yeah. There was like a dare and then there was a twist to the dare. And then if you didn't do that,
there was a punishment card.
Yeah. I did get... My favorite card was... I had to get spanked by everyone as fast as I could,
(06:11):
though. I was in a hurry and I had to leave, but I also had to be spanked by everyone. So I had to
run around getting spanked by everyone and I enjoy that card. Some guy had me bend over his...
He was over his line. I was like, hey, guys, this is my card made for me.
I even think your sister had fun.
Yeah. She had so much fun. She had to do the worm.
Yeah. With her shoes on her feet.
(06:31):
With her shoes on her feet.
Or her hands.
Yeah.
Her shoes on her hands.
Yeah. So it was pretty vanilla-ish, but even there it was good. It was a fun time.
I'm glad we ended up going and staying and saying hello and seeing everybody. We have
another Christmas party this weekend that is going to be much more vanilla. It is vanilla.
That is very vanilla.
(06:52):
It is vanilla. There are some of our local lifestyle friends there, but it's a very vanilla
party and it's Bridgerton themed. And I honestly don't know what I'm wearing because I didn't get
a dress. And he wasn't supposed to go. And now he has off. So we're going to wing. We're winging.
(07:13):
We're totally winging it. These people have these huge intricate like
petticoats and big ball gowns and everything that I just refused.
I'm just going to wear a suit.
Because by the time it was done, it was going to be like $150 for a dress that I would wear
one time that I... It's not like a swinger outfit where I would get more use out of it,
or I could use it for pictures or Instagram or something. Everything I looked at, I was like,
(07:36):
nah.
I mean, I guess we could have used it for content. You could be house made.
I guess I could have. I'd much rather go on a scene and buy something that I will use
and that's sexy and there's nothing... I don't know. I just never found anything good. So we're
going to wing it. And they said they would rather have us there than have the outfits. So
we're going to go with that. So we're going to do that. And we've got Christmas right
(08:01):
around the corner. We still have not started Christmas shopping.
So I got a handful of Christmas presents.
Yeah. A few things online. We got the big stuff for the most part, but the little stuff is the
part that I hate and the wrapping and all of that stuff. But as always, we're going to wait until
the week before Christmas. It's a week of Christmas to do it because we also have...
(08:23):
Procrastinators.
We also have nosy children that we can't keep gifts around here.
They find them even if they... Like we put them in the attic.
Yeah. Oh yeah. They always... Somehow, somehow they're sneaky little suckers and some boys
paranoid. Lots of Christmas, lots of preparing, lots of school Christmas shows and we have a
(08:43):
birthday tomorrow. Our youngest is turning nine tomorrow. So we've got a birthday tomorrow and
it's just been a lot of crazy family life.
This is just a busy time of year. I think for a lot of people, but for us, we have birthdays.
Everyone's birthday.
That's all I was telling a girl I work with today. It's like from October to February.
(09:05):
It's just stupid busy.
Birthday, birthday. Yeah. So...
Anyways.
Anyways.
Yeah. So... Anyway, I hope you guys had a good week. Today we're going to talk all about events
and takeovers and resorts and clubs and what to expect there and what to bring, how to prepare,
kind of help you decide on which one is best for you. A lot of meeting people is online.
(09:29):
And so a lot of events and takeovers and resorts and stuff are the first, you know, the first
opportunity to get to meet people in person and get to mingle. It's a whole different level.
It's a whole environment, like where you can... It's like almost like an immersive experience
where you can just live your best life freely without judgment.
(09:50):
And it's safe. They're usually like really safe places to be.
Yeah.
They're really safe places to do and express yourself. Events are like usually held at
either like a hotel or a club or a restaurant somewhere that's...
Yeah. So you have a meet and greet, which is usually at a bar or a hotel.
A vanilla place usually.
And that's usually you literally just meeting people or it's a lot of people call them
(10:13):
munches.
Yeah. So one night, just one night, a couple hours where you just meet people and...
Talk and hang out.
Yeah. And then takeovers are longer, usually at least a weekend or more sometimes more.
Yeah. Takeovers usually happen at a hotel.
They're usually at a hotel or a resort and it's like a mini vacation. So you're there
(10:33):
for a minute.
And those are my favorite because every event we go to or club, it goes by so fast.
But at least at a takeover, you have a Friday and a Saturday and sometimes a Sunday that you
can actually experience. You have a chance to meet more people. You can actually experience.
(10:55):
You don't have to worry about, especially like hotel takeovers, you don't have to worry
about going anywhere or getting back to the hotel because you just have to walk back up
to your room.
Put roots down for a second, decorate, take your clothes out of your suitcase and actually
stay a while. Plus they have daytime parties and nighttime parties. So you can, depending
on the vibe that you want, you can do both. And it has different vibes to them.
(11:17):
Different things.
I love the day parties.
Me too.
Those are my favorite parties.
Me too.
They're a little bit.
It's usually pools involved.
It's more casual. It's not as hectic and loud. You can actually hang out and talk to people.
And then if you want to, you can go eat lunch or get lunch and then it gives you a chance
(11:38):
afterwards to take a little nap or get ready or just go out to dinner.
We had to make it where we have to almost schedule a time to eat and get ready.
Yeah. We made that mistake way early on. We used to just go one thing to the next, one
thing to the next, and then we would never eat. And that was, I mean, you can see why
that goes bad really fast. And made that mistake many a times. And because you're drinking
(12:02):
and it's daytime and it's usually summer and it's usually hot and you're running around
and days again, it's days long. So you're dehydrated more than likely and you're not
staying on top of your water. And so food we learned early on is we have to stop everything
we're doing and go drink some water and drink some water and rest for a minute because it
will wipe you out. It will take you out so quickly. And even the weekend we went to the
(12:29):
Purple Passion and the motherfucking Lee's birthday. Like even between that Friday and
Saturday, like I was exhausted Saturday, like we had to at least lay down and like to try
to take a nap for like an hour. It was nice to have time to like just at least relax and
watch TV, shut the blinds and just, we do that at Secrets too. We like to take time
(12:52):
and just get food and shut the blinds. It's just, yeah. Turn the music down so you stop
ringing for like five minutes. It's good just to center yourself, relax, say drink water.
Even if we don't take a nap, just to relax. Eat something. Take a shower, just kind of
clean up. Yeah. Clean yourself up. And yeah. And then clubs are, you know, you know what
a club is. It's a nightclub. It's a nightclub. It's usually a few hours. It's one evening
(13:17):
thing where you go and there's usually a dress code and etiquette and you just kind of hang
out and it's like any other nightclub. And usually there's a play space or a play area
if you want to, but not always, not all clubs have that. Yeah, that's pretty self-explanatory
what a club is. And yeah, but events are a good way to dip your toes in clubs as well
(13:38):
are just good ways to start out. If you're in the beginning and you're looking for stuff
to do in person, a meet and greet, an event. Yeah. A club night is a really good way to
just go for a couple hours. I mean that's how we did it. I mean it's four hours of
an experience. Yeah. Like in, we did like, there's a misconception of when you go to
(14:03):
these things that you have to have sex. No. And no. You can just go watch. You can just go hang out.
You don't even have to get naked or anything, right? You don't have to do lingerie or anything.
You can just wear clothes that you would wear to a dinner, a date night, something like that.
It really doesn't matter. Honestly. We've gone to the club where I've wore just plain slacks and
a button up shirt and you're wearing a sundress. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't have to. We don't always
(14:28):
have to get fancy, but we just enjoy getting fancy. And normally in all of these things,
usually they're our themes. Yeah. We are all about the themes and we, it's like Pinterest board blown
up and I love the creativity. It's like Halloween every single time. Yeah. It's fun to watch people
(14:48):
get to creative and stuff. There's, we're to the point now where I feel like the themes are
very repetitive. Oh yeah. We've done them all million times. And then I don't know, I used to,
every single event I still kind of do, but every single event get a new outfit. So the whole right
side of my closet, the entire thing is just costume. I have every costume you can imagine.
(15:10):
Every woman in the lifestyle I've talked to is like that though, where like they have totes of
lingerie, totes of club dresses, totes of costumes. Just because a lot of these parties is the same
people. You see the same people. You only get the same outfit twice. Yeah. So they want to change it up.
And then also it's like a progression of comfortability to somebody new in the lifestyle.
(15:34):
They're more conservative than somebody who's been in lifestyle for a few years. Yeah. They're early,
or very much covered up for the most part sexy, but you could wear it out in public without. Yeah.
Yeah. To like a. And then as you get on, like women are wearing trench coats to the club because
that's literally nothing to them. Yeah. Cause they're more comfortable in that environment now.
(15:59):
Now that I've been in it though, I have been reusing a lot of stuff I've been trying. Cause there's
the outfits that I haven't worn in three years. I wore it one time three years ago and then I'm like,
dude, like you can wear the same glow dress that you wore three years ago. Nobody cares. Nobody
knows. So I've been trying to kind of. I liked last time I went to the trap, you pulled out the old
red dress. I'm like, Oh, I miss that. I miss that one. I went back through the closet and stuff. I was just like, a lot of my stuff doesn't fit me.
(16:25):
Cause I was super tiny when I started lifestyle. And that was one that I was like, I had some stretch
to it so we can see it looks different on me now than it did back then. I think it looked amazing. It was like one of the
dresses that I used to bring out when we would just randomly go to trapeze one night. We would just, I have a pink one and a red one like that. And those were my two like go to outfits if we went to the club. Cause we never did these.
(16:48):
We never did themes at the beginning of the club ever. Yeah. Not really. Usually we just dressed up cause we like dressing up.
Or we'd like a theme usually has some type of color involved. So we correspond with that color. Especially at trapeze. They don't really go too hard on themes in trapeze. So we have friends that the first time they ever went to a club or any club, they went and looked up the theme and I forget what the theme was. It was ABC.
(17:14):
Oh, it was the worst theme. My least favorite theme. And they went all out getting these costumes, making these costumes. And I guess they showed up and not one person was in costumes. Yeah. They're the only ones. Only one. First time at the club.
Yeah. So, you know, it's usually events and takeovers themes are hardcore. But the club just doesn't go as hard. Usually if it's a color, they'll do that. But I've never really seen other than Halloween, really people go like all out. There's always a few that go all out. But for the most part it's pretty mild.
(17:54):
Unless you're like you said, unless you're at a takeover or a resort or a party that you're going to stay, you don't have to go out in public. And it depends on the group that you're with too.
Yeah, that too. So your society always does themes everywhere we go. Club or not.
The carnivals after dark also go pretty hard with the themes. There's some that go pretty hard with themes. But if you're looking to go to a club or go to an event, definitely get on the website and see what the theme is and make sure you're comfortable in whatever you wear.
(18:30):
And the only thing that matters is if you want to do the theme or not. All that matters is that you're comfortable and that you're feeling good about yourself. I promise you will have a way better time if you feel comfortable.
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(19:05):
And then with the clubs and stuff, everyone always asks me all of the time what to bring to the club. And we all have ho bags. Ho bags is what we call them. And we all have, you'll see us all carrying in bags of things.
Most all clubs have lockers. Some of them you need to bring locks for. Some of them, like Chuppies, have locks. They lock them for you. And yeah, we all have ho bags. And usually in those ho bags we bring lingerie because around 11, 12-ish everyone, no matter if it's an event or a club, usually changes into lingerie.
(19:43):
That's usually the norm. And so you want to bring something that you're going to change into along with an outfit to wear home because you're not going to be able to. Or a trench coat or something that you can cover up with when you have to get the Uber or get back home or go to the hotel or whatever.
And then you want to bring Louve condoms. Some comfortable flip-flops. Comfortable shoes. To get out of the heels. Number one tip, your feet are going to kill you. There's a lot of dancing, a lot of walking. At Secrets I don't even bother anymore. I just bring my slides period.
(20:14):
I don't do heels at Secrets anymore. I've learned that lesson a long time ago. I might put them on for pictures for literally five minutes, but flip-flops, slides, even trapeze now anymore. I'm just like, I'll show up in the heels, get back there and just change into flip-flops. It's really not worth it.
Last time you brought your pink fuzzy slippers.
Oh yeah, I brought my house slippers. I don't even do that anymore. I have the worst feet ever. Like I have horrible feet. And so that's the first thing that...
(20:41):
Everybody loved them though.
I got some of my own events on TikTok. So no one gives a crap. But I've went to so many clubs and made that mistake and events and stuff. And then just been barefoot and then that person just barefoot the entire night. Which pain in your feet, bare feet.
I usually pick the bare feet because I just have horrible feet anyway.
(21:04):
Yeah. And then anything that's going to make you feel comfortable. So like hair ties, deodorant, mouthwash, or breath man spray.
That's part of my... because I have my own mini-pill bag.
Which has condoms, those portable lube packets, and a little pill bottle with Viagra in it.
(21:31):
Yeah, bring all your medications and your protection and all of that. And then bring breath man sprays, all that. And anything you're going to need to make you feel more comfortable and make you feel better about...
After a long night of dancing and stuff like that, sometimes before you play you have to just freshen up.
Yeah, we do. And that's why...
Because you don't want to be that stinky person.
(21:53):
I have wipes and mine and I have spray for down there. Just a refresher spray if I need it. And some wipes if I need it for afterwards.
And at Chappie's they have wipe warmers full of wipes in the playrooms, which is super nice.
And then they have mouthwash at the sinks in the bathroom, which is also really nice. They think ahead. And they have all the condoms and everything.
(22:16):
Usually most clubs have condoms. They have dishes of condoms and mints and stuff. The caveat to that is they're not the most comfortable condoms.
They're the direct, they're cheap, but they're still condoms. They still do the job in the pinch if you need it.
But we like to do latex free and spend a little bit more of our money. It's a good thing to do.
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And then number one tip also is just go into it with no expectations whatsoever. Just go into wherever you decide to go, you know, any of them.
(23:37):
It is what you want it to be, what you make it, I should say.
No expectations. Just go into it. If it's your first time going to anything, go into it with a focus on you and your partner and you're just having a good night.
You don't have to participate. There's no pressure. Nobody is expecting you to be naked or get into any uncomfortable situations and you are in control of your experience.
(24:04):
It's okay to sit back and just watch. Just people watch, just walk around, just dance, just go eat dinner. If you're not feeling it or you're uncomfortable, you guys can leave.
There's no like times you have to stay there for.
And don't pressure your... don't put your partner in uncomfortable situations that they're not comfortable with yet.
(24:26):
I definitely don't recommend playing before you've been there a few times.
It's the pace of the most apprehensive partner, I would say, because you don't want to be that person that's dragging your partner.
And you just focus on your partner at first.
Yeah, definitely go into it. Just try and have a good time and go meet people. Go unfold your arms. Don't sit in the back in the corner.
(24:55):
Your language is a big thing. Like if you're sitting in the corner with your arms crossed, you're not going to... you're already closed off. You're not open to conversation.
Essentially, you're going on a date night. It's a date with everyone else night, not just your partner. So think of it as that. You're looking for potential partners and people to...
And if you're sitting there just having a good time with your partner, you're going to attract other people to come talk to you as well.
(25:22):
Yeah, so body language is everything. Go just have a good time. Just meet people.
And those people that you meet, maybe you're not attracted to, maybe they're not personality-wise, you don't click or whatever, but you never know who their friends are.
And everyone... we all like to introduce each other to our friends. We all like to be matchmakers.
And especially if you've been around a long time and you get to know people, you will meet their friends and you'll meet their friends.
(25:50):
And so you never know who they're friends with. And everyone that you meet is, for the most part, the best people.
Yeah, everybody's super friendly.
We barely ever actually have sex with people for the most part when we do these things.
We are hanging out and talking about these deep conversations and stuff that you put the guard down and you don't get to talk about in real life.
(26:16):
Yeah.
In normal, regular life.
So I didn't expect that at first.
Just good, like open-minded, amazing humans you will meet in this lifestyle.
And even if you don't have sex with them, chances are you're going to have a good conversation.
Everyone's an open book.
Yeah.
Like for the most part, everyone's an open book.
And you're going to meet... you know, there's a deception to rule. There's going to be bad apples in there and there's going to be not so great people that are there against their will and people that are not.
(26:45):
It is frequently in the minority.
Yeah, very few times does that ever happen.
You don't come across that very often.
There's always exceptions to the rules, obviously.
But you don't come across those type of people because they stick out like a sore thumb and they leave pretty early.
Another good thing about this lifestyle is most of us can... we're pretty good judges of character.
(27:08):
You kind of spot the ones who are not so great, not so good pretty quickly, pretty early on.
And so people... and word of mouth is huge too in this lifestyle.
It's a little world.
Yeah.
It seems big, but it's a little...
Everybody talks to everybody.
...very close tight-knit community.
And if you're not doing things that you should do, if you're not doing it that way that you should, people are going to find out pretty quickly.
(27:34):
You don't make it weird.
You can literally just be like, Hi, I'm Ashley. Hi, I'm Russ. How are you? Nice to meet you.
It doesn't have to be...
Pretend you're in kindergarten and just introduce yourself.
As long as you're manners.
Hi, I'm Russ. This is my wife Ashley. What's your name?
You're a decent human being.
Yeah.
Like just be normal. Have manners and then get to the club or, you know, early.
(27:57):
Yeah, especially if it's your first time going to the club.
Usually they have tours.
Usually they have tours. Usually there's a registration process.
Like I know the collect clubs, you apply for membership online before you even go.
Quite a few do that too.
And they is tempted like that too? Was tempted like that?
I think so, yeah.
(28:19):
But you apply online to get approved. It's their vetting process to make sure you're a real person.
And then, but like trapeze, you register with your ID and everything right there in the lobby.
Somewhere like that too. But you still have to sign up.
You have to have a membership to get in the club and usually pretty strict guidelines and stuff.
(28:42):
Then you'll have to pay and do all that.
Plus there's usually like I know trapeze, there's usually a line and there's limited amounts of diamond clubs.
So you want to get there early for that as well.
It's changed the last few years because everybody gets there early too.
Because then we sell so many diamond club upgrades.
Upgrade, yeah.
Everybody's trying to get back there. So they show up early like 15 minutes before they open to get that upgrade.
(29:08):
And you want to just get comfortable. Go to get a locker, get the lay of the land, go walk around, go check out the playrooms,
go look at the food or the buffet or whatever they have. Go check out the dance floor and just like people watch.
We still do that.
Watch people.
We went to the club before they opened.
Preferably go back.
Get a drink, order our food.
(29:29):
And then we sit, get a seat, sit there, talk, chit chat with people.
So most of the time there's limited amount of seating. I know red rooms like that.
Like there's a limited amount of spaces and a lot of times at clubs and events and stuff they have spots where you can reserve like a little section.
And so those are usually bought ahead of time or reserved ahead of time.
(29:51):
And you want to, they usually don't have that many seating areas at all that any club we've ever been to really.
And so you, if you're there early, you can have a seat and you can sit and be comfortable.
You just want to get comfortable. It's going to be a long night. It can be overwhelming.
There's a lot going on, but you just go talk to the town.
(30:12):
If you want to reserve a spot, it's good for newcomers to reserve a spot because it's a good place to decompress for a minute.
And it's a good place to just keep yourself at too.
Because nobody wants to dance holding all of their shit either.
And some clubs like Louisville, Tempted and Colette, they don't hold your liquor or alcohol.
(30:39):
So you have a space to put it.
Yeah, secret stuff like that. Yeah.
You want to have a space where you can sit your cups down and highly recommend bringing your own cup also, along with what to bring.
Bring your own cup with a lid.
Not so much. I don't hear about it very much.
But when we first started this lifestyle, roofing was an issue.
(31:01):
Yeah. Which makes zero sense to me.
But I don't get it at all.
And it was a thing that everyone had an experience with roofing.
I've had my own experience with roofing and I learned very quickly that we've had a lot of friends that have been roofing.
A lot of people have been roofing.
It's just a more peace of mind safety thing now.
I haven't heard about it in a really long time.
(31:22):
I haven't been in a meeting with anybody or anything.
But at the beginning, it seemed to be a really big issue.
I think it was a person where we were.
We kept doing it.
But that was the, what we, yeah, that was the rubric.
I learned it's not worth the risk.
And plus we all love our cups and we all love our tumblers.
So bring your own.
Most of the time it saves you trips from the bar because there will be long lines and lots of people trying to get drinks.
(31:48):
And it gives you less time than you have to go for the better.
It's just fun to see all the different.
Put stickers on them and everyone's got their names on them and we all get them designed and custom made.
And yeah, tumblers are huge in the lifestyle and we do like that.
And then talk more about etiquette and what is to be expected.
(32:09):
All of this consent is the number one.
Respect boundaries.
You are in, if you're walking around and you see a playroom and the door is shut, that means no one, they don't want anyone to go in there.
You don't touch the door.
You don't go in there at all.
If they have, sometimes they'll have like where it's open door.
(32:32):
Yeah.
So a lot of people keep the door open just because they like to be watched.
But that doesn't mean that they want you to play.
If.
Always.
And it's weird.
I don't like if somebody's playing in a room, even if we're friends with them, I'd never go into that room because one, I don't want to interrupt what they're doing.
(32:53):
They don't want to be that person.
And even if you just asked to come in, you're interrupting them.
Yeah.
Stand out there and just.
So if you just, if you want to watch, watch.
If the door is open, they like being watched.
Yeah.
Just watch.
Sit back and maybe.
And if they want you in there, I promise you that you will be invited.
I promise you're going to know if you're invited or not.
(33:14):
I promise they will.
They will let you know.
The more we're in secret, that's how we were just watching.
And then they pulled us in.
They had the window open at the bottom and we were watching and they were like, come on, come in.
And this happened many a times.
But yeah, if you, if they want you in there and they see you looking, you will be invited.
But do not go in there.
Do not.
Don't interject yourself.
Do not.
(33:35):
No, do not.
You know, don't just start yelling or anything.
And I think that does come from BDSM roots as well as just if a scene is going on, it's that you just don't interrupt scenes and you just don't interject yourself when you're not invited.
So just have common sense and boundaries, consent.
No means no.
Always.
If it's not an enthusiastic guess, it is a no.
(33:57):
And so move on, move along.
We've had so many a times, especially early on in our club days where I don't know what it is.
I haven't had it happen in a really long time.
But we, in the playroom, I've had men laying over top of me two inches from my face while having sex with someone.
Tell men to back up.
I was having sex with one of my friends in an area at a club one time and this guy just kept coming back and he was staring, you know, standing two inches from my face as well and just kept coming back.
(34:29):
And, you know, the guy I was with was like, we're good.
We don't need you here.
Yeah.
Like we were trying to be very, you know, he was being very protective because he knew I was uncomfortable because this strange guy was standing over top of me.
And it was a problem a lot.
We luckily haven't had that problem for a minute, but it used to be a really big problem.
I think that's a good transition we've had in the lifestyle.
(34:52):
I hope that we had some problems with that.
I think when we first got into it, I think when we got into it, boundaries and consent wasn't as much on the forefront.
And then we kind of...
I like to believe that we helped with that a little bit because I haven't...
We called out all the bullshit.
Hopefully education.
Some people just don't know.
Yeah.
(35:13):
Just don't know.
I don't know.
I think it was a mix between the negative stigma and the expectations of like misguided expectations within one and new people getting into it.
And you get excited.
You and other influencers in the space and we educate these people like, oh, so...
(35:35):
And we also...
We surround ourselves now with a big group of people where before it was a me and you just in the corner somewhere, I think, or me and someone.
It was a very small...
Safety and numbers type deal.
Yeah.
I think a lot of times now we weren't doing orgy situations and stuff.
We're this big, intimidating more group of people where obviously boundaries can be crossed there too, but it just doesn't happen as often.
(35:58):
But we've had some not so great experiences.
But for the most part, club is a good way to...
Even the not so great experiences were learning experiences.
We didn't like that.
Let's not do that again.
And I wasn't comfortable at that point yet to say no.
I was new and I was way more timid and scared to kind of say what I wanted and say what I needed and stuff.
Where now I think maybe that also helps too is because I'm not afraid to be like, oh...
(36:23):
Where before I was so scared to upset anyone or hurt anyone's feelings or a little bit more.
Yeah.
You can't be afraid to hurt somebody's feelings.
You have to feel comfortable to say no and have boundaries and rules and say I'm uncomfortable and I've grown a lot.
Even though we're all nice people and we don't like to hurt somebody's feelings, we come first.
(36:50):
So there's a nice way to do it.
But at the end of the day, your feelings aren't really my problem.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anything else that we need to cover about that?
Go on the websites.
Go look at the websites.
We've touched on dress, getting dressed that we like to dress to impress.
(37:13):
Yeah.
Definitely dress to impress.
Most clubs and stuff have rules, dress code, stuff that they don't want you wearing.
Like you usually can't wear shorts or sneakers.
You want to wear collared shirts like that.
So definitely make sure you're getting on their website, seeing kind of pictures.
They'll kind of show you what's all included and what the fees are and all the hours, all that stuff that you want you to know.
(37:37):
Check the themes.
Check the themes.
They'll have an event calendar with the themes.
If that's what you want, if it's one that you'll like, go for it.
(38:11):
And then how to find, how to find them.
That's like the number one question.
How do I find these parties?
They're like secret hidden parties.
It's not that secret or hidden.
It's go on to websites.
Again, websites are going to be your...
The Swinger social media sites is where they have, they list these and post these events and takeovers and clubs have their own pages on them.
(38:40):
And that's where we...
Pretty much anywhere you meet swingers is where you're going to find these clubs and events and takeovers.
Oh, you forgot house parties.
What is a house party also?
Damn it.
Oh, forget about that.
That's fine.
House parties are in the event category.
It's a one night house party.
It's usually a private, more quiet.
(39:01):
Yeah, it's usually invite only, private.
Much more secluded, like an invitation only.
What people you have met or already know, like the Christmas party we went to was a house party.
Yeah, we have only ever been to like a couple of house parties.
We've only ever been to, other than our friend's house, is that people that we knew.
We've only ever been to one house party.
(39:23):
Yeah, of strangers.
It was strangers and the description was not what it was.
It ended up being nothing like the description.
The description sounded really cool, like we could have a really good time and it was not that.
It was.
Well, no, they advertised it as like a mansion on the lake.
Mansion party on the lake and it was definitely a cabin style house.
(39:51):
Yeah, in the woods.
In the woods.
I didn't see no water, but it said it was somewhere nearby.
There were stairs that went down into the a bit like darkness.
I think it was a dock.
It was super intimidating because we didn't know no one whatsoever going into it.
We got out of the Uber and we were like, should we go back?
Yeah, the Uber from our hotel, which was the hotel they recommended, was like a 25 minute drive from the hotel to this house in the middle of nowhere.
(40:20):
We already were like super scared.
We got out there and we saw what it was and we were like, should we turn around and go back to the hotel?
We stood out there for a good 15 minutes just contemplating whether we want to.
Because everyone was on the front porch because there was this tiny little porch on the front and they were all just like best friends and they were all just hanging out.
(40:42):
I didn't know how to go.
Just walk past them and go into their house and it was, it's, hey.
You introduce yourself and you say hi and stuff, but it's still awkward when you're in a house.
When you're at someone else's home, it's definitely, if you don't know those people, it's definitely always like this weird.
It was an experience to say the least.
We haven't been back to another house party since other than our friends.
(41:04):
Maybe we'll give another one a try one time, but I don't know.
It would have to.
I also feel like next house party we go to.
We need to bring friends.
We'll bring friends with us.
That way, worst case scenario, we have our friends.
We ended up having fun.
It was fun.
We met so many people.
Yeah, we met so many people, they had a basement and there was music and then we were outside.
(41:27):
They had inflatable pool where they did what?
T-shirt contests and stuff.
And yeah, it was, it was an experience.
We always, like we said before, like we always turned the night into something positive and we have fun no matter what we do.
It doesn't matter where we are or.
We've had them from the beginning.
The worst case scenario, we're going to have fun together.
Even like the worst experience is we figure something out.
(41:52):
We'll have a good time.
We did.
We ended up staying all night and had a good time.
Met some really good people.
Yeah.
But what I go again now, but it was a good time and we had fun together and that's all that matters.
And the whole, this whole entire thing is all about that.
All that matters is that you and your partner had fun.
And that's none of it.
None of the other stuff matters.
(42:13):
Really, honestly.
It is what you make it.
Yeah.
And just go into it with a positive mindset.
And yeah, but yeah, finding them, you can go STC, SLS, Cassidy, all those things.
The playgrounds new, but they're building, they're building spaces within their app for different like IKMD and a whole bunch of other ones.
(42:36):
That was Upper Dark.
That's their app.
And then I'm certain society, we go to a lot of their events.
They do throw some really amazing events.
They do some good parties.
Some good people.
And they're all about the themes more than any other group I've ever seen.
And so that's more your vibe.
And it's a hot ass group of people.
Yeah.
And you know, it's a good, it's a good party and it's a good time.
(42:58):
So they have a discord.
So your society discord.
I'm sure you've heard me talk about it a million times in the last three years and go on there and you can meet people on there.
And then most, most of the time you can find this stuff also on Facebook.
Facebook has a lot of good, a lot of good.
That's where we found the playground.
Or well, we found the dark and ultimately the playground.
And that was a Facebook group.
(43:19):
And a lot of times people will say, this is what we're doing.
And you want to go into this event and you can feel out stuff, people's favorites, people ask for recommendations.
It's more personal because it is Facebook.
Yeah.
You get to comment, you know, directly.
It's more personal.
A lot of people make lifestyle Facebook pages.
People are comfortable with Facebook.
People have been using Facebook for so many years.
(43:42):
It's more personal.
A lot of us have had Facebook since the beginning.
Since it started.
Since MySpace days.
So you'll find a lot of like local.
Facebook's a good resource for local stuff.
If you're looking for stuff closer to home, it's a lot easier to narrow down your search to Savannah or middle Georgia or southeast Georgia or wherever the hell you live.
But they're usually.
(44:03):
They have like regional groups that are private.
You'll find stuff.
Don't know if that's what you're looking for.
And like secrets has their own group on there and you can find all the information on there and ask questions and stuff.
And if you're nervous and you're super scared, just go to a club.
Let's go to a club for a night.
Just go.
It depends on the couple.
It depends on who you are and stuff.
(44:24):
Secrets would be better for maybe some people.
And it is a little bit more depending.
You can make it whatever you want.
We have some local friends going to secrets with us this time and they've never been to a party like this.
Nothing like that.
We stay for a week.
Like it's all like he was asking me about it.
I'm like, it's going to be fun.
Trust me.
(44:45):
Good.
It's going to be so much fun.
So yeah, it really depends on the couple.
It's a personal thing and just ask people their recommendations and what they think you would like and what they like the best.
And the worst case scenario, you try it out and you don't go back.
So if you're looking, I definitely highly recommend.
So your society playground, SCC, yes.
Let's try them all out.
We have free trials.
(45:06):
You might as well try it for a couple of weeks and see.
And yeah, sign up for the free trial.
Make a profile poker.
Look around and see what's a risk that like you find which ones in that free trial work best for you.
At the very least, get on there and just to look at the events or the clubs that are local to you.
And you might have to travel and a lot of clubs like trapeze.
(45:29):
They have certain nights of the week that are like sponsored by like SCC or Cassidy.
And you're getting $20 off at the door if you get put on the guest list on those sites.
And a lot of them have newbie nights and you'll have like Wednesdays as a newbie night or you get all people that are brand new that they take in and they take tours to.
(45:51):
And it's a quiet night with, you know, without the DJs and all the, you know, loud music and crazy chaos that you can just go and meet people and introduce yourself.
And don't be afraid to tell people it's your first time that you're new.
No one we know isn't going to be like, oh my gosh, welcome.
Thank you for coming to our club or like welcome to our space with our people.
Let me introduce you.
Let me show you around every, you know, how many times we've given tours and stuff, places that we're familiar with and stuff.
(46:17):
And our friends do the same.
We love when we have people wanting to join us and join this lifestyle.
That's it's so much fun to welcome people.
We love new people.
We love answering all the questions we love.
We'll take your hand and show you all the ropes and introduce you to the managers and the friends and the bartenders and the chefs and all the cooks and stuff like we love everyone.
(46:40):
So we want to show you our world.
We want to introduce you to this amazing world full of amazing people.
But take your time, no expectations and whatever it takes for you to be comfortable.
Do that.
Meet people.
Yes.
That's number one thing I can always say is meet people.
Talk.
Go meet people.
Everything out the door.
(47:02):
What comes to costumes and what you should take.
Just talk to people.
Like that's the number one thing.
You're not going to have fun.
I'm not going to say that because you still can't have fun.
But you're not going to have a full of an experience if you just stick to yourself.
There's some people do.
(47:24):
But yeah, I definitely highly remind just it's a community.
It is a community.
It is amazing.
That's what got us into it.
Let's be honest.
Yeah, that's our favorite part about it is meeting the people in the community and the people in it.
And yeah, tell them that you're new.
Tell everybody that you're new.
Don't be afraid to tell people that you don't pretend like you know what you're doing or you know where you're going.
If you don't, don't be like that.
(47:45):
There are plenty of us that are more than happy to show you the ropes.
And that's what we're doing here right now.
So we want to know all about your experiences, what you prefer.
If you prefer club stakeholders, all of that share with us on social media and let us know.
We want to hear all your stories.
Your first time at the club, your first time at the events, all of the things.
Any more questions?
(48:06):
Yeah, any questions.
Anything we didn't cover.
We have to do this all the time.
So we are more than happy to make part two of any of these episodes.
If there's more that you want to learn about when we get to talk in and get into it, we get off on tangents and things and get lose track.
And we don't really keep the best notes and stuff for outlines.
So we just go with it and wing it.
We're sitting around talking.
(48:27):
So it is easy for us to get off track and maybe forget what we were saying.
So if you want to know more about any of it, just let us know.
That's what we're here.
And this is literally what I do.
All the time.
I'm here for you.
I don't know if that was that, I think, for the most part.
Subscribe and like and comment on the videos.
Show your support.
But I think we need to break the news that we're going to take a break for the holidays.
(48:56):
We're going to take a couple weeks off.
Just a couple weeks.
We'll be back January 8th.
After the first of the year.
Christmas falls on a Wednesday.
We got New Year's Eve.
We've got birthdays, like you were saying, our anniversary as well in between there.
And the next three weeks are going to be absolutely insane.
And I think that it's not that crazy to take off for the holidays.
(49:17):
We got parties we're going to and everything else like that.
We're going to have a lot to talk about.
So January 8th, we're going to come back with an episode all about our New Year's Eve party.
We are going out for the first time.
Personally, I've never been out for New Year's Eve ever.
I'm trying to think if I did before, but I don't, maybe once or twice.
When I was a child.
(49:38):
At least for 21 years we've been home and we've always done the same thing every single year.
So it's our anniversary two days before.
So we always, we never do anything ever for it.
So we're just going to, we decided that we're going to go to Trapeze for New Year's Eve.
So if you guys are coming, let us know we will be there.
We are so excited to check it out.
I can put the link to buy tickets for Trapeze New Year's Eve party in the show notes.
(50:06):
I'm so excited.
We buy about a dress and everything.
It's formal attire.
We're going all out.
It's going to be fun.
Every single year we want to go every single time and we just haven't been able to make it.
And this year we're going to be able to make it.
And all of our friends are going.
Our band group's going and we have a hotel block and hotel room and we're all staying in the same place.
(50:31):
So it's going to be a really good time.
Yes.
That I introduce 2025 with a bang.
Literally.
So hopefully it all goes well.
We're hoping anyway.
But yeah, that's going to be our next episode.
It will be January 8th.
It will be a party that we're going to be doing every day and it will be all about our shenanigans that we get into on New Year's Eve.
(50:58):
And our review on Trapeze's New Year's Eve party because we've never been and we've heard good things.
And it's supposed to be the biggest event of the year.
It's the big to do with all of the best foods and all the things.
So I'm excited.
We will let you know all the scoops on all of that.
We'll tell you how that goes and all of our anniversary, all the things in between.
(51:21):
And we will miss you guys.
I hope you guys have the best Christmas ever, the best New Year's and we're going to miss you.
But come back again please.
January 8th.
Yes, we'll definitely be back.
Please come back and visit us again.
I hope you have a great holiday.
Happy holidays.
As always.
(51:42):
As always.
It's not that serious.
Don't make it weird.
Bye.
Bye guys.
Bye.
Welcome to Hot Couple Chronicles, a podcast exploring the singing lifestyle.
(00:04):
Our discussions may contain explicit content and adult themes intended for mature audiences.
While we strive to offer valuable insights and entertainment, please be aware that the
views expressed are based on personal experiences and opinions. We encourage listeners to approach
the content with an open mind and to prioritize communication, consent, and respect in their
(00:25):
relationships. Remember everyone's journey is unique, so take what resonates with you and leave
what doesn't. Thank you for joining us on our adventure.
I'm Russ and I'm Ashley and this is Hot Couple Chronicles. Welcome back. Welcome. Happy Wednesday.
(01:02):
Yes. Today we're talking about events and takeovers and...
Attends, resorts, all the things you need to know.
Exactly.
Yeah, it's going to be good. We've had like so many questions about this and
I made a TikTok today explaining it a little bit more in detail. I got a lot of good responses.
A lot of people were, you know, they wish they would have heard that before they attended their
(01:24):
first event and I do too. We walked in blindly and...
I think a lot of people walk in blindly and not...
Yeah.
Just don't know what to expect and are scared.
So we want to help you out. We want to make it less scary. And so, yeah, but this past week
we've had a crazy busy week.
It's been a busy week.
Yeah, your work schedule's a lot and you've been working a lot and weird hours. He's in
(01:46):
training and he's doing different meetings and stuff. This past couple weeks his schedule's
been weird, but we had, we cleaned, we had to clean the house, top, bottom, last...
I worked all like from six to eight. It's Saturday or Friday.
And you cleaned all day.
I spent all day cleaning. The kids from school, he was at work all day. So I
(02:07):
washed everything in the house that's washable, cleaned everything. My sister was coming from
Florida. My daughter was coming from Florida. Her boyfriend's coming from Florida. So we had a family
party on Saturday. So Friday was a lot of prepping for that. We had to get the house ready.
Yeah. How to get the food ready.
Food.
Yeah, the food ready. He smoked a pork butt for like 15 hours. Yeah, we had to do that.
(02:32):
And then every year we get invited to local Christmas parties.
It's probably one of my favorite parties.
Yeah. And this was our favorite.
Favorite group of people.
This is our favorite yearly party. And it was of course the same day as our vanilla family party.
Yeah. We didn't know we were going to even make it to the Christmas party. We're like,
(02:53):
we have this party going on. And...
Chances are we probably aren't going to make it. My sister's here and stuff. But
luckily they knew my sister because we had went to Atlanta together, all of us with her.
And she gets along really well with them. So I was like, if everyone leaves the house
and it's over in time, maybe we'll sneak over and say hi. Because we hadn't seen them for a good six...
It's been a long time.
That's what everybody said when we walked in. We're like, we haven't seen you in forever.
(03:15):
For ever. Yeah. We've been... life's been lifing with our friends and us and everything.
Yeah.
We all have been going through things and so we don't get to see each other as much. We used to
see each other like weekly. So it's weird to not see each other so much. And so we got to sneak out.
We grabbed our stuff and literally ran out after everybody went.
(03:36):
We even grabbed emergency like swimsuits and stuff just in case we got in the hot tub.
Yeah. We had a hot tub. And I'm so glad we went.
Yeah. It was a good time.
It's always... And like half of the people there, we didn't know it was new couples that he had met.
Yeah. Through their adventures.
In their journeys, in their travels. And it was just a really cool, awesome group of people. And
(03:57):
he goes all out. His house was decorated. A Christmas sweater was the theme and he had tinsel.
It was so good. He knows how to throw a party. And his whole house was made to host a party.
Yeah.
He built that house to entertain.
Yeah. He thrives there. And it was fun. We played Jenga from La La. We played a lot of Jenga,
which I'm not good at, but I did it.
(04:20):
I got overconfident a couple of times.
I got the block out and then I put it on top, all cocky like, and started walking away. And half
a step, it just topples. I'm like, son of a bitch.
Yeah. They had done a naughty Christmas exchange.
Yeah. We missed that.
Gift exchange that we didn't get to do. And they had a chicken trophy. It was all...
Yeah, the best dressed.
(04:41):
All out. The best dressed trophy.
Same person as every year. It's always him.
And we missed that part. We missed the exchange and stuff, but everyone's costumes are awesome.
So awesome. And most everyone was lifestyle. I think everyone was lifestyle.
There was lifestyle except your sister.
Luckily, she was pretty cool and she had a good time. We had a fire going and it was fun. It was
(05:03):
so much fun. I'm glad we got to go for even for a little bit. It was fun.
We went to go for a little bit.
While they pulled out the... What was the name of that? Punish Me Daddy.
Oh yeah. Fat Cartoon.
Punish Me Daddy. He brought it out to show me and he was like, I got a new game because he's all
about games as well. And so he brought it out and he was like, you want to play? And that was when
we were getting ready to walk out the door. I was getting ready to leave.
(05:25):
But, you know, I was like, fuck it. We'll play for a little bit. Well, that ended up turning into a
whole thing. It was funny.
It was so much fun. And everyone was so... Everyone participated. It was fun.
That's the thing about playing games like that with swingers is everybody goes full set.
Down for a good time. Yeah. And it really wasn't that bad. Like it wasn't really naughty.
(05:48):
It was vanilla spicy.
It was very vanilla. But it was just stupid stuff. Like I can't even think of what they were now.
It was... You had to pick two cards and you had to do both of them at the same time or do a
punishment card.
Yeah. There was like a dare and then there was a twist to the dare. And then if you didn't do that,
there was a punishment card.
Yeah. I did get... My favorite card was... I had to get spanked by everyone as fast as I could,
(06:11):
though. I was in a hurry and I had to leave, but I also had to be spanked by everyone. So I had to
run around getting spanked by everyone and I enjoy that card. Some guy had me bend over his...
He was over his line. I was like, hey, guys, this is my card made for me.
I even think your sister had fun.
Yeah. She had so much fun. She had to do the worm.
Yeah. With her shoes on her feet.
(06:31):
With her shoes on her feet.
Or her hands.
Yeah.
Her shoes on her hands.
Yeah. So it was pretty vanilla-ish, but even there it was good. It was a fun time.
I'm glad we ended up going and staying and saying hello and seeing everybody. We have
another Christmas party this weekend that is going to be much more vanilla. It is vanilla.
That is very vanilla.
(06:52):
It is vanilla. There are some of our local lifestyle friends there, but it's a very vanilla
party and it's Bridgerton themed. And I honestly don't know what I'm wearing because I didn't get
a dress. And he wasn't supposed to go. And now he has off. So we're going to wing. We're winging.
(07:13):
We're totally winging it. These people have these huge intricate like
petticoats and big ball gowns and everything that I just refused.
I'm just going to wear a suit.
Because by the time it was done, it was going to be like $150 for a dress that I would wear
one time that I... It's not like a swinger outfit where I would get more use out of it,
or I could use it for pictures or Instagram or something. Everything I looked at, I was like,
(07:36):
nah.
I mean, I guess we could have used it for content. You could be house made.
I guess I could have. I'd much rather go on a scene and buy something that I will use
and that's sexy and there's nothing... I don't know. I just never found anything good. So we're
going to wing it. And they said they would rather have us there than have the outfits. So
we're going to go with that. So we're going to do that. And we've got Christmas right
(08:01):
around the corner. We still have not started Christmas shopping.
So I got a handful of Christmas presents.
Yeah. A few things online. We got the big stuff for the most part, but the little stuff is the
part that I hate and the wrapping and all of that stuff. But as always, we're going to wait until
the week before Christmas. It's a week of Christmas to do it because we also have...
(08:23):
Procrastinators.
We also have nosy children that we can't keep gifts around here.
They find them even if they... Like we put them in the attic.
Yeah. Oh yeah. They always... Somehow, somehow they're sneaky little suckers and some boys
paranoid. Lots of Christmas, lots of preparing, lots of school Christmas shows and we have a
(08:43):
birthday tomorrow. Our youngest is turning nine tomorrow. So we've got a birthday tomorrow and
it's just been a lot of crazy family life.
This is just a busy time of year. I think for a lot of people, but for us, we have birthdays.
Everyone's birthday.
That's all I was telling a girl I work with today. It's like from October to February.
(09:05):
It's just stupid busy.
Birthday, birthday. Yeah. So...
Anyways.
Anyways.
Yeah. So... Anyway, I hope you guys had a good week. Today we're going to talk all about events
and takeovers and resorts and clubs and what to expect there and what to bring, how to prepare,
kind of help you decide on which one is best for you. A lot of meeting people is online.
(09:29):
And so a lot of events and takeovers and resorts and stuff are the first, you know, the first
opportunity to get to meet people in person and get to mingle. It's a whole different level.
It's a whole environment, like where you can... It's like almost like an immersive experience
where you can just live your best life freely without judgment.
(09:50):
And it's safe. They're usually like really safe places to be.
Yeah.
They're really safe places to do and express yourself. Events are like usually held at
either like a hotel or a club or a restaurant somewhere that's...
Yeah. So you have a meet and greet, which is usually at a bar or a hotel.
A vanilla place usually.
And that's usually you literally just meeting people or it's a lot of people call them
(10:13):
munches.
Yeah. So one night, just one night, a couple hours where you just meet people and...
Talk and hang out.
Yeah. And then takeovers are longer, usually at least a weekend or more sometimes more.
Yeah. Takeovers usually happen at a hotel.
They're usually at a hotel or a resort and it's like a mini vacation. So you're there
(10:33):
for a minute.
And those are my favorite because every event we go to or club, it goes by so fast.
But at least at a takeover, you have a Friday and a Saturday and sometimes a Sunday that you
can actually experience. You have a chance to meet more people. You can actually experience.
(10:55):
You don't have to worry about, especially like hotel takeovers, you don't have to worry
about going anywhere or getting back to the hotel because you just have to walk back up
to your room.
Put roots down for a second, decorate, take your clothes out of your suitcase and actually
stay a while. Plus they have daytime parties and nighttime parties. So you can, depending
on the vibe that you want, you can do both. And it has different vibes to them.
(11:17):
Different things.
I love the day parties.
Me too.
Those are my favorite parties.
Me too.
They're a little bit.
It's usually pools involved.
It's more casual. It's not as hectic and loud. You can actually hang out and talk to people.
And then if you want to, you can go eat lunch or get lunch and then it gives you a chance
(11:38):
afterwards to take a little nap or get ready or just go out to dinner.
We had to make it where we have to almost schedule a time to eat and get ready.
Yeah. We made that mistake way early on. We used to just go one thing to the next, one
thing to the next, and then we would never eat. And that was, I mean, you can see why
that goes bad really fast. And made that mistake many a times. And because you're drinking
(12:02):
and it's daytime and it's usually summer and it's usually hot and you're running around
and days again, it's days long. So you're dehydrated more than likely and you're not
staying on top of your water. And so food we learned early on is we have to stop everything
we're doing and go drink some water and drink some water and rest for a minute because it
will wipe you out. It will take you out so quickly. And even the weekend we went to the
(12:29):
Purple Passion and the motherfucking Lee's birthday. Like even between that Friday and
Saturday, like I was exhausted Saturday, like we had to at least lay down and like to try
to take a nap for like an hour. It was nice to have time to like just at least relax and
watch TV, shut the blinds and just, we do that at Secrets too. We like to take time
(12:52):
and just get food and shut the blinds. It's just, yeah. Turn the music down so you stop
ringing for like five minutes. It's good just to center yourself, relax, say drink water.
Even if we don't take a nap, just to relax. Eat something. Take a shower, just kind of
clean up. Yeah. Clean yourself up. And yeah. And then clubs are, you know, you know what
a club is. It's a nightclub. It's a nightclub. It's usually a few hours. It's one evening
(13:17):
thing where you go and there's usually a dress code and etiquette and you just kind of hang
out and it's like any other nightclub. And usually there's a play space or a play area
if you want to, but not always, not all clubs have that. Yeah, that's pretty self-explanatory
what a club is. And yeah, but events are a good way to dip your toes in clubs as well
(13:38):
are just good ways to start out. If you're in the beginning and you're looking for stuff
to do in person, a meet and greet, an event. Yeah. A club night is a really good way to
just go for a couple hours. I mean that's how we did it. I mean it's four hours of
an experience. Yeah. Like in, we did like, there's a misconception of when you go to
(14:03):
these things that you have to have sex. No. And no. You can just go watch. You can just go hang out.
You don't even have to get naked or anything, right? You don't have to do lingerie or anything.
You can just wear clothes that you would wear to a dinner, a date night, something like that.
It really doesn't matter. Honestly. We've gone to the club where I've wore just plain slacks and
a button up shirt and you're wearing a sundress. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't have to. We don't always
(14:28):
have to get fancy, but we just enjoy getting fancy. And normally in all of these things,
usually they're our themes. Yeah. We are all about the themes and we, it's like Pinterest board blown
up and I love the creativity. It's like Halloween every single time. Yeah. It's fun to watch people
(14:48):
get to creative and stuff. There's, we're to the point now where I feel like the themes are
very repetitive. Oh yeah. We've done them all million times. And then I don't know, I used to,
every single event I still kind of do, but every single event get a new outfit. So the whole right
side of my closet, the entire thing is just costume. I have every costume you can imagine.
(15:10):
Every woman in the lifestyle I've talked to is like that though, where like they have totes of
lingerie, totes of club dresses, totes of costumes. Just because a lot of these parties is the same
people. You see the same people. You only get the same outfit twice. Yeah. So they want to change it up.
And then also it's like a progression of comfortability to somebody new in the lifestyle.
(15:34):
They're more conservative than somebody who's been in lifestyle for a few years. Yeah. They're early,
or very much covered up for the most part sexy, but you could wear it out in public without. Yeah.
Yeah. To like a. And then as you get on, like women are wearing trench coats to the club because
that's literally nothing to them. Yeah. Cause they're more comfortable in that environment now.
(15:59):
Now that I've been in it though, I have been reusing a lot of stuff I've been trying. Cause there's
the outfits that I haven't worn in three years. I wore it one time three years ago and then I'm like,
dude, like you can wear the same glow dress that you wore three years ago. Nobody cares. Nobody
knows. So I've been trying to kind of. I liked last time I went to the trap, you pulled out the old
red dress. I'm like, Oh, I miss that. I miss that one. I went back through the closet and stuff. I was just like, a lot of my stuff doesn't fit me.
(16:25):
Cause I was super tiny when I started lifestyle. And that was one that I was like, I had some stretch
to it so we can see it looks different on me now than it did back then. I think it looked amazing. It was like one of the
dresses that I used to bring out when we would just randomly go to trapeze one night. We would just, I have a pink one and a red one like that. And those were my two like go to outfits if we went to the club. Cause we never did these.
(16:48):
We never did themes at the beginning of the club ever. Yeah. Not really. Usually we just dressed up cause we like dressing up.
Or we'd like a theme usually has some type of color involved. So we correspond with that color. Especially at trapeze. They don't really go too hard on themes in trapeze. So we have friends that the first time they ever went to a club or any club, they went and looked up the theme and I forget what the theme was. It was ABC.
(17:14):
Oh, it was the worst theme. My least favorite theme. And they went all out getting these costumes, making these costumes. And I guess they showed up and not one person was in costumes. Yeah. They're the only ones. Only one. First time at the club.
Yeah. So, you know, it's usually events and takeovers themes are hardcore. But the club just doesn't go as hard. Usually if it's a color, they'll do that. But I've never really seen other than Halloween, really people go like all out. There's always a few that go all out. But for the most part it's pretty mild.
(17:54):
Unless you're like you said, unless you're at a takeover or a resort or a party that you're going to stay, you don't have to go out in public. And it depends on the group that you're with too.
Yeah, that too. So your society always does themes everywhere we go. Club or not.
The carnivals after dark also go pretty hard with the themes. There's some that go pretty hard with themes. But if you're looking to go to a club or go to an event, definitely get on the website and see what the theme is and make sure you're comfortable in whatever you wear.
(18:30):
And the only thing that matters is if you want to do the theme or not. All that matters is that you're comfortable and that you're feeling good about yourself. I promise you will have a way better time if you feel comfortable.
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(19:05):
And then with the clubs and stuff, everyone always asks me all of the time what to bring to the club. And we all have ho bags. Ho bags is what we call them. And we all have, you'll see us all carrying in bags of things.
Most all clubs have lockers. Some of them you need to bring locks for. Some of them, like Chuppies, have locks. They lock them for you. And yeah, we all have ho bags. And usually in those ho bags we bring lingerie because around 11, 12-ish everyone, no matter if it's an event or a club, usually changes into lingerie.
(19:43):
That's usually the norm. And so you want to bring something that you're going to change into along with an outfit to wear home because you're not going to be able to. Or a trench coat or something that you can cover up with when you have to get the Uber or get back home or go to the hotel or whatever.
And then you want to bring Louve condoms. Some comfortable flip-flops. Comfortable shoes. To get out of the heels. Number one tip, your feet are going to kill you. There's a lot of dancing, a lot of walking. At Secrets I don't even bother anymore. I just bring my slides period.
(20:14):
I don't do heels at Secrets anymore. I've learned that lesson a long time ago. I might put them on for pictures for literally five minutes, but flip-flops, slides, even trapeze now anymore. I'm just like, I'll show up in the heels, get back there and just change into flip-flops. It's really not worth it.
Last time you brought your pink fuzzy slippers.
Oh yeah, I brought my house slippers. I don't even do that anymore. I have the worst feet ever. Like I have horrible feet. And so that's the first thing that...
(20:41):
Everybody loved them though.
I got some of my own events on TikTok. So no one gives a crap. But I've went to so many clubs and made that mistake and events and stuff. And then just been barefoot and then that person just barefoot the entire night. Which pain in your feet, bare feet.
I usually pick the bare feet because I just have horrible feet anyway.
(21:04):
Yeah. And then anything that's going to make you feel comfortable. So like hair ties, deodorant, mouthwash, or breath man spray.
That's part of my... because I have my own mini-pill bag.
Which has condoms, those portable lube packets, and a little pill bottle with Viagra in it.
(21:31):
Yeah, bring all your medications and your protection and all of that. And then bring breath man sprays, all that. And anything you're going to need to make you feel more comfortable and make you feel better about...
After a long night of dancing and stuff like that, sometimes before you play you have to just freshen up.
Yeah, we do. And that's why...
Because you don't want to be that stinky person.
(21:53):
I have wipes and mine and I have spray for down there. Just a refresher spray if I need it. And some wipes if I need it for afterwards.
And at Chappie's they have wipe warmers full of wipes in the playrooms, which is super nice.
And then they have mouthwash at the sinks in the bathroom, which is also really nice. They think ahead. And they have all the condoms and everything.
(22:16):
Usually most clubs have condoms. They have dishes of condoms and mints and stuff. The caveat to that is they're not the most comfortable condoms.
They're the direct, they're cheap, but they're still condoms. They still do the job in the pinch if you need it.
But we like to do latex free and spend a little bit more of our money. It's a good thing to do.
(22:43):
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And then number one tip also is just go into it with no expectations whatsoever. Just go into wherever you decide to go, you know, any of them.
(23:37):
It is what you want it to be, what you make it, I should say.
No expectations. Just go into it. If it's your first time going to anything, go into it with a focus on you and your partner and you're just having a good night.
You don't have to participate. There's no pressure. Nobody is expecting you to be naked or get into any uncomfortable situations and you are in control of your experience.
(24:04):
It's okay to sit back and just watch. Just people watch, just walk around, just dance, just go eat dinner. If you're not feeling it or you're uncomfortable, you guys can leave.
There's no like times you have to stay there for.
And don't pressure your... don't put your partner in uncomfortable situations that they're not comfortable with yet.
(24:26):
I definitely don't recommend playing before you've been there a few times.
It's the pace of the most apprehensive partner, I would say, because you don't want to be that person that's dragging your partner.
And you just focus on your partner at first.
Yeah, definitely go into it. Just try and have a good time and go meet people. Go unfold your arms. Don't sit in the back in the corner.
(24:55):
Your language is a big thing. Like if you're sitting in the corner with your arms crossed, you're not going to... you're already closed off. You're not open to conversation.
Essentially, you're going on a date night. It's a date with everyone else night, not just your partner. So think of it as that. You're looking for potential partners and people to...
And if you're sitting there just having a good time with your partner, you're going to attract other people to come talk to you as well.
(25:22):
Yeah, so body language is everything. Go just have a good time. Just meet people.
And those people that you meet, maybe you're not attracted to, maybe they're not personality-wise, you don't click or whatever, but you never know who their friends are.
And everyone... we all like to introduce each other to our friends. We all like to be matchmakers.
And especially if you've been around a long time and you get to know people, you will meet their friends and you'll meet their friends.
(25:50):
And so you never know who they're friends with. And everyone that you meet is, for the most part, the best people.
Yeah, everybody's super friendly.
We barely ever actually have sex with people for the most part when we do these things.
We are hanging out and talking about these deep conversations and stuff that you put the guard down and you don't get to talk about in real life.
(26:16):
Yeah.
In normal, regular life.
So I didn't expect that at first.
Just good, like open-minded, amazing humans you will meet in this lifestyle.
And even if you don't have sex with them, chances are you're going to have a good conversation.
Everyone's an open book.
Yeah.
Like for the most part, everyone's an open book.
And you're going to meet... you know, there's a deception to rule. There's going to be bad apples in there and there's going to be not so great people that are there against their will and people that are not.
(26:45):
It is frequently in the minority.
Yeah, very few times does that ever happen.
You don't come across that very often.
There's always exceptions to the rules, obviously.
But you don't come across those type of people because they stick out like a sore thumb and they leave pretty early.
Another good thing about this lifestyle is most of us can... we're pretty good judges of character.
(27:08):
You kind of spot the ones who are not so great, not so good pretty quickly, pretty early on.
And so people... and word of mouth is huge too in this lifestyle.
It's a little world.
Yeah.
It seems big, but it's a little...
Everybody talks to everybody.
...very close tight-knit community.
And if you're not doing things that you should do, if you're not doing it that way that you should, people are going to find out pretty quickly.
(27:34):
You don't make it weird.
You can literally just be like, Hi, I'm Ashley. Hi, I'm Russ. How are you? Nice to meet you.
It doesn't have to be...
Pretend you're in kindergarten and just introduce yourself.
As long as you're manners.
Hi, I'm Russ. This is my wife Ashley. What's your name?
You're a decent human being.
Yeah.
Like just be normal. Have manners and then get to the club or, you know, early.
(27:57):
Yeah, especially if it's your first time going to the club.
Usually they have tours.
Usually they have tours. Usually there's a registration process.
Like I know the collect clubs, you apply for membership online before you even go.
Quite a few do that too.
And they is tempted like that too? Was tempted like that?
I think so, yeah.
(28:19):
But you apply online to get approved. It's their vetting process to make sure you're a real person.
And then, but like trapeze, you register with your ID and everything right there in the lobby.
Somewhere like that too. But you still have to sign up.
You have to have a membership to get in the club and usually pretty strict guidelines and stuff.
(28:42):
Then you'll have to pay and do all that.
Plus there's usually like I know trapeze, there's usually a line and there's limited amounts of diamond clubs.
So you want to get there early for that as well.
It's changed the last few years because everybody gets there early too.
Because then we sell so many diamond club upgrades.
Upgrade, yeah.
Everybody's trying to get back there. So they show up early like 15 minutes before they open to get that upgrade.
(29:08):
And you want to just get comfortable. Go to get a locker, get the lay of the land, go walk around, go check out the playrooms,
go look at the food or the buffet or whatever they have. Go check out the dance floor and just like people watch.
We still do that.
Watch people.
We went to the club before they opened.
Preferably go back.
Get a drink, order our food.
(29:29):
And then we sit, get a seat, sit there, talk, chit chat with people.
So most of the time there's limited amount of seating. I know red rooms like that.
Like there's a limited amount of spaces and a lot of times at clubs and events and stuff they have spots where you can reserve like a little section.
And so those are usually bought ahead of time or reserved ahead of time.
(29:51):
And you want to, they usually don't have that many seating areas at all that any club we've ever been to really.
And so you, if you're there early, you can have a seat and you can sit and be comfortable.
You just want to get comfortable. It's going to be a long night. It can be overwhelming.
There's a lot going on, but you just go talk to the town.
(30:12):
If you want to reserve a spot, it's good for newcomers to reserve a spot because it's a good place to decompress for a minute.
And it's a good place to just keep yourself at too.
Because nobody wants to dance holding all of their shit either.
And some clubs like Louisville, Tempted and Colette, they don't hold your liquor or alcohol.
(30:39):
So you have a space to put it.
Yeah, secret stuff like that. Yeah.
You want to have a space where you can sit your cups down and highly recommend bringing your own cup also, along with what to bring.
Bring your own cup with a lid.
Not so much. I don't hear about it very much.
But when we first started this lifestyle, roofing was an issue.
(31:01):
Yeah. Which makes zero sense to me.
But I don't get it at all.
And it was a thing that everyone had an experience with roofing.
I've had my own experience with roofing and I learned very quickly that we've had a lot of friends that have been roofing.
A lot of people have been roofing.
It's just a more peace of mind safety thing now.
I haven't heard about it in a really long time.
(31:22):
I haven't been in a meeting with anybody or anything.
But at the beginning, it seemed to be a really big issue.
I think it was a person where we were.
We kept doing it.
But that was the, what we, yeah, that was the rubric.
I learned it's not worth the risk.
And plus we all love our cups and we all love our tumblers.
So bring your own.
Most of the time it saves you trips from the bar because there will be long lines and lots of people trying to get drinks.
(31:48):
And it gives you less time than you have to go for the better.
It's just fun to see all the different.
Put stickers on them and everyone's got their names on them and we all get them designed and custom made.
And yeah, tumblers are huge in the lifestyle and we do like that.
And then talk more about etiquette and what is to be expected.
(32:09):
All of this consent is the number one.
Respect boundaries.
You are in, if you're walking around and you see a playroom and the door is shut, that means no one, they don't want anyone to go in there.
You don't touch the door.
You don't go in there at all.
If they have, sometimes they'll have like where it's open door.
(32:32):
Yeah.
So a lot of people keep the door open just because they like to be watched.
But that doesn't mean that they want you to play.
If.
Always.
And it's weird.
I don't like if somebody's playing in a room, even if we're friends with them, I'd never go into that room because one, I don't want to interrupt what they're doing.
(32:53):
They don't want to be that person.
And even if you just asked to come in, you're interrupting them.
Yeah.
Stand out there and just.
So if you just, if you want to watch, watch.
If the door is open, they like being watched.
Yeah.
Just watch.
Sit back and maybe.
And if they want you in there, I promise you that you will be invited.
I promise you're going to know if you're invited or not.
(33:14):
I promise they will.
They will let you know.
The more we're in secret, that's how we were just watching.
And then they pulled us in.
They had the window open at the bottom and we were watching and they were like, come on, come in.
And this happened many a times.
But yeah, if you, if they want you in there and they see you looking, you will be invited.
But do not go in there.
Do not.
Don't interject yourself.
Do not.
(33:35):
No, do not.
You know, don't just start yelling or anything.
And I think that does come from BDSM roots as well as just if a scene is going on, it's that you just don't interrupt scenes and you just don't interject yourself when you're not invited.
So just have common sense and boundaries, consent.
No means no.
Always.
If it's not an enthusiastic guess, it is a no.
(33:57):
And so move on, move along.
We've had so many a times, especially early on in our club days where I don't know what it is.
I haven't had it happen in a really long time.
But we, in the playroom, I've had men laying over top of me two inches from my face while having sex with someone.
Tell men to back up.
I was having sex with one of my friends in an area at a club one time and this guy just kept coming back and he was staring, you know, standing two inches from my face as well and just kept coming back.
(34:29):
And, you know, the guy I was with was like, we're good.
We don't need you here.
Yeah.
Like we were trying to be very, you know, he was being very protective because he knew I was uncomfortable because this strange guy was standing over top of me.
And it was a problem a lot.
We luckily haven't had that problem for a minute, but it used to be a really big problem.
I think that's a good transition we've had in the lifestyle.
(34:52):
I hope that we had some problems with that.
I think when we first got into it, I think when we got into it, boundaries and consent wasn't as much on the forefront.
And then we kind of...
I like to believe that we helped with that a little bit because I haven't...
We called out all the bullshit.
Hopefully education.
Some people just don't know.
Yeah.
(35:13):
Just don't know.
I don't know.
I think it was a mix between the negative stigma and the expectations of like misguided expectations within one and new people getting into it.
And you get excited.
You and other influencers in the space and we educate these people like, oh, so...
(35:35):
And we also...
We surround ourselves now with a big group of people where before it was a me and you just in the corner somewhere, I think, or me and someone.
It was a very small...
Safety and numbers type deal.
Yeah.
I think a lot of times now we weren't doing orgy situations and stuff.
We're this big, intimidating more group of people where obviously boundaries can be crossed there too, but it just doesn't happen as often.
(35:58):
But we've had some not so great experiences.
But for the most part, club is a good way to...
Even the not so great experiences were learning experiences.
We didn't like that.
Let's not do that again.
And I wasn't comfortable at that point yet to say no.
I was new and I was way more timid and scared to kind of say what I wanted and say what I needed and stuff.
Where now I think maybe that also helps too is because I'm not afraid to be like, oh...
(36:23):
Where before I was so scared to upset anyone or hurt anyone's feelings or a little bit more.
Yeah.
You can't be afraid to hurt somebody's feelings.
You have to feel comfortable to say no and have boundaries and rules and say I'm uncomfortable and I've grown a lot.
Even though we're all nice people and we don't like to hurt somebody's feelings, we come first.
(36:50):
So there's a nice way to do it.
But at the end of the day, your feelings aren't really my problem.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anything else that we need to cover about that?
Go on the websites.
Go look at the websites.
We've touched on dress, getting dressed that we like to dress to impress.
(37:13):
Yeah.
Definitely dress to impress.
Most clubs and stuff have rules, dress code, stuff that they don't want you wearing.
Like you usually can't wear shorts or sneakers.
You want to wear collared shirts like that.
So definitely make sure you're getting on their website, seeing kind of pictures.
They'll kind of show you what's all included and what the fees are and all the hours, all that stuff that you want you to know.
(37:37):
Check the themes.
Check the themes.
They'll have an event calendar with the themes.
If that's what you want, if it's one that you'll like, go for it.
(38:11):
And then how to find, how to find them.
That's like the number one question.
How do I find these parties?
They're like secret hidden parties.
It's not that secret or hidden.
It's go on to websites.
Again, websites are going to be your...
The Swinger social media sites is where they have, they list these and post these events and takeovers and clubs have their own pages on them.
(38:40):
And that's where we...
Pretty much anywhere you meet swingers is where you're going to find these clubs and events and takeovers.
Oh, you forgot house parties.
What is a house party also?
Damn it.
Oh, forget about that.
That's fine.
House parties are in the event category.
It's a one night house party.
It's usually a private, more quiet.
(39:01):
Yeah, it's usually invite only, private.
Much more secluded, like an invitation only.
What people you have met or already know, like the Christmas party we went to was a house party.
Yeah, we have only ever been to like a couple of house parties.
We've only ever been to, other than our friend's house, is that people that we knew.
We've only ever been to one house party.
(39:23):
Yeah, of strangers.
It was strangers and the description was not what it was.
It ended up being nothing like the description.
The description sounded really cool, like we could have a really good time and it was not that.
It was.
Well, no, they advertised it as like a mansion on the lake.
Mansion party on the lake and it was definitely a cabin style house.
(39:51):
Yeah, in the woods.
In the woods.
I didn't see no water, but it said it was somewhere nearby.
There were stairs that went down into the a bit like darkness.
I think it was a dock.
It was super intimidating because we didn't know no one whatsoever going into it.
We got out of the Uber and we were like, should we go back?
Yeah, the Uber from our hotel, which was the hotel they recommended, was like a 25 minute drive from the hotel to this house in the middle of nowhere.
(40:20):
We already were like super scared.
We got out there and we saw what it was and we were like, should we turn around and go back to the hotel?
We stood out there for a good 15 minutes just contemplating whether we want to.
Because everyone was on the front porch because there was this tiny little porch on the front and they were all just like best friends and they were all just hanging out.
(40:42):
I didn't know how to go.
Just walk past them and go into their house and it was, it's, hey.
You introduce yourself and you say hi and stuff, but it's still awkward when you're in a house.
When you're at someone else's home, it's definitely, if you don't know those people, it's definitely always like this weird.
It was an experience to say the least.
We haven't been back to another house party since other than our friends.
(41:04):
Maybe we'll give another one a try one time, but I don't know.
It would have to.
I also feel like next house party we go to.
We need to bring friends.
We'll bring friends with us.
That way, worst case scenario, we have our friends.
We ended up having fun.
It was fun.
We met so many people.
Yeah, we met so many people, they had a basement and there was music and then we were outside.
(41:27):
They had inflatable pool where they did what?
T-shirt contests and stuff.
And yeah, it was, it was an experience.
We always, like we said before, like we always turned the night into something positive and we have fun no matter what we do.
It doesn't matter where we are or.
We've had them from the beginning.
The worst case scenario, we're going to have fun together.
Even like the worst experience is we figure something out.
(41:52):
We'll have a good time.
We did.
We ended up staying all night and had a good time.
Met some really good people.
Yeah.
But what I go again now, but it was a good time and we had fun together and that's all that matters.
And the whole, this whole entire thing is all about that.
All that matters is that you and your partner had fun.
And that's none of it.
None of the other stuff matters.
(42:13):
Really, honestly.
It is what you make it.
Yeah.
And just go into it with a positive mindset.
And yeah, but yeah, finding them, you can go STC, SLS, Cassidy, all those things.
The playgrounds new, but they're building, they're building spaces within their app for different like IKMD and a whole bunch of other ones.
(42:36):
That was Upper Dark.
That's their app.
And then I'm certain society, we go to a lot of their events.
They do throw some really amazing events.
They do some good parties.
Some good people.
And they're all about the themes more than any other group I've ever seen.
And so that's more your vibe.
And it's a hot ass group of people.
Yeah.
And you know, it's a good, it's a good party and it's a good time.
(42:58):
So they have a discord.
So your society discord.
I'm sure you've heard me talk about it a million times in the last three years and go on there and you can meet people on there.
And then most, most of the time you can find this stuff also on Facebook.
Facebook has a lot of good, a lot of good.
That's where we found the playground.
Or well, we found the dark and ultimately the playground.
And that was a Facebook group.
(43:19):
And a lot of times people will say, this is what we're doing.
And you want to go into this event and you can feel out stuff, people's favorites, people ask for recommendations.
It's more personal because it is Facebook.
Yeah.
You get to comment, you know, directly.
It's more personal.
A lot of people make lifestyle Facebook pages.
People are comfortable with Facebook.
People have been using Facebook for so many years.
(43:42):
It's more personal.
A lot of us have had Facebook since the beginning.
Since it started.
Since MySpace days.
So you'll find a lot of like local.
Facebook's a good resource for local stuff.
If you're looking for stuff closer to home, it's a lot easier to narrow down your search to Savannah or middle Georgia or southeast Georgia or wherever the hell you live.
But they're usually.
(44:03):
They have like regional groups that are private.
You'll find stuff.
Don't know if that's what you're looking for.
And like secrets has their own group on there and you can find all the information on there and ask questions and stuff.
And if you're nervous and you're super scared, just go to a club.
Let's go to a club for a night.
Just go.
It depends on the couple.
It depends on who you are and stuff.
(44:24):
Secrets would be better for maybe some people.
And it is a little bit more depending.
You can make it whatever you want.
We have some local friends going to secrets with us this time and they've never been to a party like this.
Nothing like that.
We stay for a week.
Like it's all like he was asking me about it.
I'm like, it's going to be fun.
Trust me.
(44:45):
Good.
It's going to be so much fun.
So yeah, it really depends on the couple.
It's a personal thing and just ask people their recommendations and what they think you would like and what they like the best.
And the worst case scenario, you try it out and you don't go back.
So if you're looking, I definitely highly recommend.
So your society playground, SCC, yes.
Let's try them all out.
We have free trials.
(45:06):
You might as well try it for a couple of weeks and see.
And yeah, sign up for the free trial.
Make a profile poker.
Look around and see what's a risk that like you find which ones in that free trial work best for you.
At the very least, get on there and just to look at the events or the clubs that are local to you.
And you might have to travel and a lot of clubs like trapeze.
(45:29):
They have certain nights of the week that are like sponsored by like SCC or Cassidy.
And you're getting $20 off at the door if you get put on the guest list on those sites.
And a lot of them have newbie nights and you'll have like Wednesdays as a newbie night or you get all people that are brand new that they take in and they take tours to.
(45:51):
And it's a quiet night with, you know, without the DJs and all the, you know, loud music and crazy chaos that you can just go and meet people and introduce yourself.
And don't be afraid to tell people it's your first time that you're new.
No one we know isn't going to be like, oh my gosh, welcome.
Thank you for coming to our club or like welcome to our space with our people.
Let me introduce you.
Let me show you around every, you know, how many times we've given tours and stuff, places that we're familiar with and stuff.
(46:17):
And our friends do the same.
We love when we have people wanting to join us and join this lifestyle.
That's it's so much fun to welcome people.
We love new people.
We love answering all the questions we love.
We'll take your hand and show you all the ropes and introduce you to the managers and the friends and the bartenders and the chefs and all the cooks and stuff like we love everyone.
(46:40):
So we want to show you our world.
We want to introduce you to this amazing world full of amazing people.
But take your time, no expectations and whatever it takes for you to be comfortable.
Do that.
Meet people.
Yes.
That's number one thing I can always say is meet people.
Talk.
Go meet people.
Everything out the door.
(47:02):
What comes to costumes and what you should take.
Just talk to people.
Like that's the number one thing.
You're not going to have fun.
I'm not going to say that because you still can't have fun.
But you're not going to have a full of an experience if you just stick to yourself.
There's some people do.
(47:24):
But yeah, I definitely highly remind just it's a community.
It is a community.
It is amazing.
That's what got us into it.
Let's be honest.
Yeah, that's our favorite part about it is meeting the people in the community and the people in it.
And yeah, tell them that you're new.
Tell everybody that you're new.
Don't be afraid to tell people that you don't pretend like you know what you're doing or you know where you're going.
If you don't, don't be like that.
(47:45):
There are plenty of us that are more than happy to show you the ropes.
And that's what we're doing here right now.
So we want to know all about your experiences, what you prefer.
If you prefer club stakeholders, all of that share with us on social media and let us know.
We want to hear all your stories.
Your first time at the club, your first time at the events, all of the things.
Any more questions?
(48:06):
Yeah, any questions.
Anything we didn't cover.
We have to do this all the time.
So we are more than happy to make part two of any of these episodes.
If there's more that you want to learn about when we get to talk in and get into it, we get off on tangents and things and get lose track.
And we don't really keep the best notes and stuff for outlines.
So we just go with it and wing it.
We're sitting around talking.
(48:27):
So it is easy for us to get off track and maybe forget what we were saying.
So if you want to know more about any of it, just let us know.
That's what we're here.
And this is literally what I do.
All the time.
I'm here for you.
I don't know if that was that, I think, for the most part.
Subscribe and like and comment on the videos.
Show your support.
But I think we need to break the news that we're going to take a break for the holidays.
(48:56):
We're going to take a couple weeks off.
Just a couple weeks.
We'll be back January 8th.
After the first of the year.
Christmas falls on a Wednesday.
We got New Year's Eve.
We've got birthdays, like you were saying, our anniversary as well in between there.
And the next three weeks are going to be absolutely insane.
And I think that it's not that crazy to take off for the holidays.
(49:17):
We got parties we're going to and everything else like that.
We're going to have a lot to talk about.
So January 8th, we're going to come back with an episode all about our New Year's Eve party.
We are going out for the first time.
Personally, I've never been out for New Year's Eve ever.
I'm trying to think if I did before, but I don't, maybe once or twice.
When I was a child.
(49:38):
At least for 21 years we've been home and we've always done the same thing every single year.
So it's our anniversary two days before.
So we always, we never do anything ever for it.
So we're just going to, we decided that we're going to go to Trapeze for New Year's Eve.
So if you guys are coming, let us know we will be there.
We are so excited to check it out.
I can put the link to buy tickets for Trapeze New Year's Eve party in the show notes.
(50:06):
I'm so excited.
We buy about a dress and everything.
It's formal attire.
We're going all out.
It's going to be fun.
Every single year we want to go every single time and we just haven't been able to make it.
And this year we're going to be able to make it.
And all of our friends are going.
Our band group's going and we have a hotel block and hotel room and we're all staying in the same place.
(50:31):
So it's going to be a really good time.
Yes.
That I introduce 2025 with a bang.
Literally.
So hopefully it all goes well.
We're hoping anyway.
But yeah, that's going to be our next episode.
It will be January 8th.
It will be a party that we're going to be doing every day and it will be all about our shenanigans that we get into on New Year's Eve.
(50:58):
And our review on Trapeze's New Year's Eve party because we've never been and we've heard good things.
And it's supposed to be the biggest event of the year.
It's the big to do with all of the best foods and all the things.
So I'm excited.
We will let you know all the scoops on all of that.
We'll tell you how that goes and all of our anniversary, all the things in between.
(51:21):
And we will miss you guys.
I hope you guys have the best Christmas ever, the best New Year's and we're going to miss you.
But come back again please.
January 8th.
Yes, we'll definitely be back.
Please come back and visit us again.
I hope you have a great holiday.
Happy holidays.
As always.
(51:42):
As always.
It's not that serious.
Don't make it weird.
Bye.
Bye guys.
Bye.
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