June 5, 2025 • 38 mins
Lydia Knight opens her conversation with a stark admission: "I grew up in a cult." Her grandmother was the cult leader, and young Lydia lived with the constant fear that Satan worshippers secretly ruled the world and were hunting her family. When she complained of back pain as a child, her mother explained it was because these Satan worshippers had kidnapped her, repeatedly broken her spine, and inserted needles into her eyes. This distorted reality shaped her entire world until adulthood.
The turning point came through education. While attending university, Lydia discovered psychology and neuroscience principles that helped her understand false memories and how the brain works. She developed a systematic approach to reprogramming her own neural pathways, allowing her to escape the cult mentality that had imprisoned her for decades. Later, she successfully applied these same principles to overcome a life-threatening eating disorder.
This personal transformation led to the founding of The She Center, where Lydia and her team have helped over a thousand women end eating disorders and reclaim their lives. What began as a specific solution expanded into executive coaching as clients recognized these neuroscience principles could transform every area of their lives.
Ready to transform your relationship with your brain? Discover how neuroscience principles can help you overcome limiting beliefs and create the life you truly desire.
Lydia's Book Recommendations: The Gifts of Imperfection: Brene Brown and The Unthethered Soul - Michael Singer
Lydia Knight is a paradigm-shifting author, speaker, and executive coach. Her memoir Split chronicles her deprogramming from indoctrination, while her upcoming book Thought Leader explores the personal and social impact of our thought patterns. As founder and CEO of The She Center, a top 2% woman-owned businesses globally, Lydia’s innovative work has been featured on CBS, NBC, and Fox News among others. She has conducted leadership and communication trainings for the U.S. Army, Forbes 50 Over 50, Disney, Adobe, and National Geographic. A cult survivor doing exceptionally well, Knight's work empowers women to create their own path to freedom.
Special page for listeners: https://theshecenter.org/podcast/
IG & YouTube @theshecenter
linkedin.com/in/lydia-knight-tsc/
House of JerMar: houseofjermar.com.
Instagram: instagram.com/houseofjermar/
YouTube Channel: youtube.com/@Houseofjermar
Read Jeanne's Book: Two Feet In: Lessons From and All-In Life
WELCOME TO OUR HOUSE!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I grew up in a cult.
My grandmother was a cultleader and I grew up with the
belief that there were a groupof Satan worshippers that
secretly ruled the whole worldand that they were chasing us,
our family, and that if I everdid anything wrong, I would be
instantly found and killed bythese Satan worshippers.
(00:23):
I was told like I went to mymom when I was little and I was
like, oh, like my back hurts,like what is that about?
I probably was I don't knowlike seven years old at this
point and she's like well, yourback hurts because the Satan
worshipers kidnapped you andthey broke your spine over and
over and they put needles intoyour eyes and that's why your
back hurts.
So this was the explanation foreverything in my world growing
(00:46):
up, which clearly is not theoptimal thing to believe or the
way to grow up.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Welcome to the House of Germar podcast where wellness
starts within.
The House of Germar is alifestyle brand, empowering
women to live all in throughinterior design and personal
wellness.
We are a destination for womenready to reimagine what is
possible in their homes andlives and then create it.
We are honored to have you joinus on our mission to empower 1
(01:19):
million women to live all in.
I am your host, jean Collins,and I invite you to become
inspired by this week's guest.
Welcome to the House of Jormarpodcast where wellness starts
within.
I'm your host, jean Collins,and today's guest is Lydia
Knight.
I am so excited to speak to her.
She is the founder of the sheCenter, she's an executive coach
(01:41):
, she's an author, she's aspeaker and she is really living
the balanced wellness life thatwe are all striving.
So I am so excited to have heron the show to share her journey
, to share how she's helpingwomen, the things that she's
doing.
She has a book coming out, twoof them, actually.
So, lydia, thank you so muchfor joining the show.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Oh, jean, it's so wonderful to be here.
I love your mission and justlike the really important things
that you talk about, so happyto contribute.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Good to be here.
Thank you so much, and I am soexcited.
She comes to the show with likethe right kind of equipment
guys.
She's got a cool microphone,she's got the good camera, so we
are all good to go.
I am so excited for that.
It helps us produce a reallywell looking episode for YouTube
.
So thank you for coming to theshow.
So prepare so before we getstarted into what you do and the
(02:29):
she Center and all of that, Iwould love if you would share a
little bit about background,about yourself, your career
journey, how you got where youare.
I find our stories are whatreally help inspire women, that
no one's path is linear and weall come from lots of different
backgrounds to get to where weare today.
So would you mind giving alittle bit of background about
you, who you are, where you camefrom and how you got to be
(02:49):
where you are today?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Oh yes, absolutely so .
First, disclaimer this has ahappy ending, because I know I
have like a weird and bizarreand dark background, so, just
know, has a really happy ending.
The value of authenticity issomething so important,
something that we talk about andis so important in women's
lives.
So I want to model that andI'll dive in with that.
(03:11):
I grew up in a cult.
My grandmother was a cultleader and I grew up with the
belief that there were a groupof Satan worshipers that
secretly ruled the whole worldand that they were chasing us,
our family, and that if I everdid anything wrong, I would be
instantly found and killed bythese Satan worshipers.
(03:34):
I was told like I went to mymom when I was little and I was
like, oh, like, my back hurts,like what is that about?
I probably was I don't knowlike seven years old at this
point and she's like well, yourback hurts because the Satan
worshipers kidnapped you andthey broke your spine over and
over and they put needles intoyour eyes and that's why your
back hurts.
So this was the explanation foreverything in my world growing
(03:58):
up, which clearly is not theoptimal thing to believe or the
way to grow up, and it's such agreat illustration of how our
stories that we tell ourself orthat we believe from others can
absolutely rule our emotionalworld and our life, and that did
for most of my life.
(04:18):
I didn't leave that cult untilI was an adult and had a
daughter of my own, so this wasa long standing thing, and when
you're in isolation and nottelling other people about your
story, then it's a bit of thisecho chamber.
And so when I found out itwasn't true and when I decided
to leave that cult, by that timeI'd also developed a really
(04:41):
awful, life-threatening eatingdisorder and I created a set of
principles based off ofneuroscience to be able to leave
the cult, to deprogram from thethings that were like ruling my
emotional world and like mysuccess and limiting me in so
many ways.
And it worked like it workedreally, really well.
And then I was able to applythose same principles to ending
(05:03):
an eating disorder, because Itried everything over the years.
And I I was able to apply thosesame principles to ending an
eating disorder because I triedeverything over the years and I
was like how, if nothing works,like what am I going to do?
I don't want to live this wayand I thought I wonder if I can
deprogram from an eatingdisorder like I deprogrammed
from the cult that I grew up in,and it also worked really well.
After years and a week I wascompletely free of that.
(05:24):
So our mission is we show womenhow to have a relationship with
their brains where they neverhave their past polluting their
future and where they get todesign their lives intentionally
.
So that's the quick story ofthe bizarre background, but
that's where we are at today.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Wow, okay, occult.
So let me back up into thatstory just a little bit.
I mean, if you're in a cult,essentially you are almost
brainwashed, I want to say, tobelieve certain things, because
that's all you know, is whatthey tell you, and those things
are so extreme and so I want tosay ridiculous.
You know you weren't taken awayby Satan and all these things
(06:05):
happening.
If you're back hurt.
But how, how did you findneuroscience, like, how did you
even get exposed to a concept ofsomething that could even make
you think for a minute that youcould change the path against
Satan, if that was how you wereingrained to think Great?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
question and the power of education is so
important.
So I went from being veryisolated.
I grew up Mormon as well and soI went to the Mormon-owned
university and, even though itwas still very much
indoctrinated, with limitedprinciples, I went into
psychology and I startedlearning about things like false
(06:45):
memories.
And I started learning aboutthings like false memories and I
started learning aboutneuroscience principles and how
the brain worked, and it wassomething that I felt really
drawn to and I started playingwith and practicing with how I
could feel differently about howI'd grown up being taught this
story.
So this is something thateveryone has an experience where
(07:07):
you intellectually knowsomething Like you know what's
good for you, you know what'shealthy for you, you know what
to say and not to say.
And then there's the thing thatyou actually do and how you
actually feel about it, how wefeel is going to drive our
choices way more than what weintellectually know.
So even when I had gotten theclues that this wasn't true and
(07:29):
had removed myself from thatcult experience, I
intellectually knew it wasn'ttrue, but my body, my nervous
system, emotionally, I was stillbeing driven by the fear that I
was taught to grow up with.
When I understood that whatfires together wires together
you know Hebb's law, howneuroscience works then I
started finding ways andprinciples of how the brain
(07:54):
worked to align my nervoussystem, my body, with what I
intellectually knew.
And so that was my story.
But then what really refinedthese principles was seeing this
work in so many other women'slives.
So there's nothing like doingit, there's nothing like living
it.
You can study it all day long,but the doing it is where we've
(08:14):
really refined those principles.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Wow, Okay, so your business.
I'm going to fast forward alittle here.
The she Center where did thatcome from?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yes, we started ending eating disorders and
that's still what we do.
We've helped over a thousandwomen to end their eating
disorders and what happened iswe had all of these incredibly
successful women come to us andwe're like I have had so much
success in every other area oflife and for some reason I can't
figure out food Like it shouldbe something so simple that I'm
(08:44):
overeating, I'm binge eating,and they're so frustrated.
So in about five, eight weeks,this thing that they had spent
decades trying to fix was justfixed, like they didn't have an
eating disorder anymore.
So they started asking I mean,this is the most powerful thing
I've ever done in my life.
What else can this apply to?
So, that's when we started ourexecutive coaching and we
started applying the principlesto communication and to being
(09:09):
able to influence those aroundyou and navigate things with
family, and we had incredible,incredible results in all of
these different areas.
And what we really have foundand what we like the core that
the she Center is built on, isevery problem in the world
essentially is because, at itscore, the missing influence of
women.
And we're here to restore thatinfluence, that wisdom, that
(09:33):
decision-making, that leadershipof women to the world.
And one of the best ways thatwe can do that on a global scale
, on a community scale, is forwomen to understand how to have
a relationship with their brainswhere the programming, the
messages, the limiting beliefsthat they've been given don't
have any power in their livesanymore.
So that's how that evolved.
(09:54):
We started with fixing one bigproblem and then realized that
the tool is very powerful inother ways, and that's where the
she Center evolved to which isso powerful.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Really, it's like you're teaching you know.
It's like this the whole adageof like you know, you teach
someone how to cook.
You teach someone how to fish,they'll be able to eat for a
lifetime.
I'm sort of mutilating that,but you get the point You're
teaching them tools that theycan then apply across any area
of life as issues arise, acrossthose areas of life.
Because I think part of whatyou found in your journey, as I
(10:28):
heard you, is you think that youare stumbling with a limiting
belief on one thing and thinklike I solved that, okay, like
I'm good.
And then it could be two yearslater and oh, that limiting
belief is back, but in aslightly different way, with a
slightly different twist, in aslightly different part of life.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Yeah, absolutely and to have the foundational
principles and tools of how wework with ourselves, how we work
with our brains.
Our whole life is lived throughour own brain and so when we
know how to work with that, it'slike the principle behind the
principle behind the principles,Like when you can get to the
core of something, it's the mostuseful thing.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
So how are you teaching people Like, if people,
if someone reaches out to youlike, what does that journey
look like for them?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Absolutely.
The first foundational piece isto have community, to have
people who get it, to havepeople that are resonating with
your story.
So we have an incrediblecommunity that we've built over
the years, and joining thatcommunity and being able to
access that education andresources the real
transformational kind ofeducation where you're
(11:37):
understanding how the brainworks and where you're
understanding how to navigateyour emotions.
So it starts with learning andthere's this beautiful waking up
process that happens where youhave community and where you
have that content, that youstart seeing life in a new way
and having an expandedpossibility for your own life.
And then what really createsthe most transformation is the
(11:58):
coaching piece.
That's been my life's work, youknow, and we have an incredible
team you know the last 14 yearsnow and the coaching where you
have someone who is an expert atseeing your blind spots and
seeing outside of what you cansee.
Our brains are very motivated tostay the same, and so our
brains will really fightresistance.
(12:20):
It's like, oh, I know what Ishould do, but it sort of feels
so scary to change, like, yeah,your brain is doing what it does
and so bringing down thatresistance and helping your
brain feel comfortable to showyou what's actually going to
make the biggest, like movingthe needle in your life.
Oftentimes your brain will hidefrom you because it's the key
to your transformation.
(12:40):
So having someone who gets itand who is an expert at knowing
how the brain works and knowinghow your brain works and your
patterns.
So the coaching, the content inthe community.
So we have live events, but wealso have mostly our connection
virtually all over the worldwhere we come together in that
community.
So as women, we're all busy andhaving a community content,
(13:03):
coaching that fits around, likeyour life and what you're
building, we found is reallyimportant.
So that's why we do it that way.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Interesting.
So do you do one-on-onecoaching in addition to group
coaching?
Everything?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
we do is based off of what is most effective.
So we find that one-on-onecoaching is not as effective as
coaching in a group, because onequestion is everyone's question
and because of how the brainworks mirror neurons, where you
actually have an experience likesomeone else is having as you
witness it.
So it really expedites healingand improvement and unleashing
(13:39):
potential when you can see otherwomen wake up as well.
So we find that group coachingis the most effective and that's
why we do it that way and wehave that in multiple different
levels for different things.
But that's the process thefeedback adjust of what actually
works best in real life.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Right, Interesting, that's really cool and you're
learning from others.
We all learn from each other'sstories and get empowered and
see, you know, sometimes otherpeople are mirrors to ourselves.
So sometimes you might think,oh, that's not my issue.
But then you or someone elsedescribe it.
You're like oh huh, thatactually does sound like me.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
It totally is.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
That is.
That actually is me.
I didn't think that was me, butthat actually sounds a lot like
me.
So how do most people find youLike?
How are they becoming aware ofyour organization and what you
do?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
So wonderful connection like this.
It's amazing to haveconversations like this here on
podcasts.
People find us through oursocial media.
It's been really interesting tosee how many people have been
interested in the story of how Igrew up and are interested in
cults and they'll find thatstory and they'll be like, oh
okay, this led to somethingreally cool and then they'll
(14:48):
explore more.
So our website, social media,podcasts.
I think and I honestly believeand I've seen this over and over
that when you have a missionand an answer that someone needs
, the right people find you Like.
We have.
So many clients are like Idon't even know how I found you
and you are exactly what Ineeded.
So I think there's also like anenergetic pull where we find
(15:12):
the solutions that we need.
I think that everyone listeningto this right now is listening
to it for a reason.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yes, oh, I agree.
Yeah, and when you openyourself up and just pay a
little bit of attention to thething that came across your desk
or that you heard, or that yousaw or that you read, and if it
makes you pause, maybe payattention to that pause and
maybe that's the universetelling you something and maybe
you need to take at least a babystep of action in terms of
(15:39):
researching it and seeing howyour heart feels about it as you
look into it, as opposed tojust moving on with your day,
which is the easier thing to do.
So talk to me about your books.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yes.
So I think this is a greatexample of the power of
authenticity, again like havinga community where you can be
authentic sharing your story,having a community where you can
be authentic sharing your story.
So, jean, I didn't share thestory of how I grew up for a
really long time In fact, thereis a double memoir that was
(16:13):
already written.
So it was the story of megrowing up in a cult and my dad
looking for his children for 25years when we were kidnapped
away as toddlers five years whenwe were kidnapped away as like
toddlers and it's this reallybeautiful story.
And it just sat there for yearsbecause it's just too weird,
like people aren't going to care, but it felt like an important
story to be told.
And then, I mean, I actuallyhad a good friend pass away and
(16:41):
I started looking at my lifedifferently and what I was
waiting on and what was sittingon the shelf, and I just decided
to start sharing the story andso I opened up TikTok.
I made a totally new personalaccount that nobody would care
about, nobody would see, itwould just be me telling the
story and it blew up.
We just had viral videos overand over and over and it was
(17:01):
such a beautiful community thatcame together.
So shout out to all my honeststory time friends on TikTok.
But it was interesting to seehow many people were interested
in that story.
I'm like, oh okay, well,everyone is asking when is the
book coming out?
Are you going to write a book?
I was like, actually it'salready written, so here.
So that's already written,that's going to be out very soon
(17:25):
.
And then we have an incrediblebook called oh.
So that book is called Split,the Double Memoir.
And then we have a book comingout later in the year called
Thought Leader.
That is about how our thoughtsdrive our actions, drive our
results and how to reallytransform at the key and the
core of changing our brains.
So it's the principles thatwe've taught over the last 14
(17:46):
years personally with clients,and we just want the whole world
to have these principles.
So that book, thought Leader,will be coming out later in the
year.
That's so exciting.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Wow.
So what else do you want to dowith your business?
Because it sounds like you'redoing a lot, but I feel like
someone like you has large goalsand wants to have a large
impact.
What else is kind of out therethat you're thinking?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
about.
They're not even sure how it'sgoing to happen, but this is the
vision happening Now.
We do live events.
They're incredible, likeimmersive events, taking healing
from like decades to days.
Something that's just come upover and over is this feeling
(18:33):
like there's going to besomething we're doing where
we're building local communitiesof women that can come together
and support and teach eachother and really build in a
grassroots way to change theworld we live in, to have it be
the world that we want to livein.
And I think a lot of women,people in general but I think
the power of women is soincredible.
They're waking up and they'regetting into action and they're
(18:56):
wanting to know what can we doand what can we do together and
what's happening in the worldright now.
There's a lot of hard, scarythings happening and what we're
seeing is these are symptoms ofwhat's called an extinction
burst.
Essentially, an old system thatwasn't good for anyone, except
maybe a select few, is goingaway and we're going to be
building something new together.
(19:17):
So we have a vision of beingpart, of mobilizing women and
bringing them together andhelping them to have the
principles to center themselvesbut then also to really make an
impact in their community, so Idon't even know what all that is
going to look like.
I think it starts with theonline communities that we have,
but that's the sense that iscoming to me now.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
It's the heart-driven mission, and I love that you
said you don't know how it'sgoing to look, because I think
if you took yourself back 10years ago, you would never have
been able to envision where youare today.
And that's one of the beautifulthings that we have to share in
our stories is that you don'thave to know.
You don't have to know howyou're going to get there.
(19:59):
If you have a passion and acalling and it's heart-driven
and you are working on yourselfand your inner wellness, it will
come to you as it is meant tocome to you and unfold as it's
meant to unfold.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
That is beautiful wisdom and I love how you said
the 10 years.
Just yesterday I had a friendsay.
Yesterday I had a friend saywould you have ever predicted
this 10 years ago?
And I love my life and I lovethe life we get to help other
women create.
And 10 years ago was the timethat I was leaving the cult I
(20:32):
grew up in.
I left the Mormon church, Idivorced an abusive husband, I
ended my eating disorder.
That all happened just withinthe space of a couple of years.
It was a huge transformation.
And I just realized yesterdaywhen my friend was like what
were you doing 10 years ago?
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I'm like whoa 10 years ago was like that yeah,
and you weren't on Facebook thento remind you and say this was
you 10 years ago then and now Ican't imagine social media was
part of the cult.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
No, that was.
I'm a little too old for that.
It probably would have been ifI was younger.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
What a really cool journey.
So I would love to talk aboutwellness for a couple minutes,
because I believe that peoplethat are missiondriven
messengers and really have acalling and really want to do
good in the world very oftencare a lot about their inner
wellness and their inner peaceand balance within their own
lives, so that they can be rolemodels for others.
(21:31):
So I would love if you wouldshare a little bit about what
inner wellness looks like inyour life.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Yes, in your life, yes.
So there are two main thingsthat we oftentimes come back to
in our executive coaching, whichis internal freedom and
internal peace, and that reallybeing the root of wellness.
So that internal peace is whenyou have those quiet moments,
when it's just you and your ownthoughts.
Is it a beautiful andnourishing and kind experience?
(21:58):
Or is there an inner criticbeating you up and you're
cycling through your to-dos?
And nourishing and kindexperience?
Or is there an inner criticbeating you up and you're
cycling through your to-dos andyou're not good enough?
So the internal piece wherethose quiet moments are ones you
look forward to and that youlove, that's what we aspire to.
And then the internal freedomis the knowing that you are the
captain of your own ship andyou're able to change your life.
(22:19):
So when you see something youwanna create, you know how to
create it.
You have the support, you'reinvesting in yourself, you're
taking the action and the hopeand the joy that comes with the
freedom to know that you can setyour sights on something and
create it in an energy that ispeaceful.
So it all feeds back with eachother.
So I would say that innerfreedom and peace is what that
(22:43):
wellness really.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Oh, so much.
I say to people all the time.
So I love, first of all.
I love that you said innerpeace, because I talk to people
all the time about.
You know your goal should neverbe happiness, because what is
happiness, you know, and thatebbs and flows, where if you can
find a place of inner peace,then you are equipped to handle
whatever will happen in life,because there will be things
(23:08):
that happen in life that are nothappy, that are not pleasant,
but that is part of life.
You can't shield yourself fromanything that's unhappy and so
if you can have inner peace,that just equips you to stay in
a very grounded I don't want touse the word peace again but
peaceful place to be able tohandle what life is kind of
throwing your way.
So I love that you use the wordpeace, because I think that is
(23:30):
really incredibly important.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Yeah it's beautiful wisdom.
One way we talk about it islike notes on a piano, like our
emotions right, like you wantall of the notes to have the
music that you create.
And there's ways to find peacein any of those emotions, in
deep sadness there's a beauty tothat and in fun and joy and
playfulness.
That's more of an inherentthing that we're like, oh, more
(23:54):
of this.
But you can find that peace inthe different quality and the
diversity of all the differentexperiences that we have as
human beings.
It's beautiful wisdom, thankyou.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Yeah, and it's important, as you mentioned what
we deem as negative emotions.
All the time you need them alland it's, you know, learning how
to live with things like angerand sadness and depression and
disappointment.
Those are all emotions thatexist for everyone and the goal
should not be to just never havethose emotions.
It's part of the whole equation.
Just like you mentioned, thepiano analogy is a really good
(24:26):
one.
So giving people the tools tobe able to handle all of those
emotions is a really powerfulgift.
So what does wellness look likein your day-to-day life?
What are you doing for yourselfpersonally to try to have that
peace and that wellness and thatbalance I mean?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
something that I continue to remind myself of.
I feel like it's the lessonthat needs to be learned again
every day for probably all of usis that what you're creating in
the world is so much abouttaking care of you and you
centering yourself and youtaking that time, and we can
oftentimes get into a place offorce and there are amazing
(25:04):
results that come from that.
I used to regularly work90-hour weeks and never have
time off, and amazing thingscame from that, but not nearly
as amazing as creating from aplace of truly being centered.
So coming back to that centerand centering ourselves For
myself, that is a meditationpractice and that can look like
(25:26):
different things, but having ameditation practice where you
are practicing being still andyou're giving your brain that
time for stillness, havingsunlight and being in nature, is
an incredible tool, and oneaspect of that that I think is
so powerful is that nature hasan incredible abundance
(25:49):
mentality.
Like you go out and you seeduring the summer, I see the
rose bushes and I'm like it'slike a lot of roses bush, like,
if you need, like, roses on topof roses on top of roses, but
there's such an abundance thatnature has and it's a very good
reminder for us and to be out inwhat we are because we are
nature as well.
So a meditation practice, beingout in nature and having ways
(26:13):
and time that is set aside forus to sort out our own thoughts,
whether that's journaling themout or being able to talk to
someone who is trusted, beingable to tell our story, that
connection and sharing what isinside of us and being able to
get it outside somehow.
Our principles, thatcontinually, are what I go back
to, what our community goes backto, and it's those simple
(26:36):
things that don't sound like theone crazy trick too, but those
aren't the things that lastright.
It's the deep breaths, it's themeditation, those are the
things that create who we are.
Long-term, it compounds.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So if someone is listening orwatching this on YouTube and
they're thinking to themselveshmm, I kind of feel like I need
a community Aside from you know,joining your organization.
What would you suggest tosomeone who is sort of feeling
like I need to find a communityor I need to find a tribe of
(27:12):
people that might help lift meup?
What advice would you give tothem about how to go about doing
that?
Because I would assume that youhad to start doing that from
scratch.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Yep, absolutely.
There's nothing like being inaction.
So often we'll get into apattern of perfectionism where
we're like I need to find mypeople and find my tribe and I'm
going to read books about itand I'm going to think about it
and I'm going to write mymission statement.
Like we start, like putting allthese tasks in our way, and it
is incredible.
(27:42):
I'll give you a quick example.
So I had a goal where I'm likeyou know what?
I have a community, I have goodpeople, but I want more like
local friends.
I want like people that I couldlike hug for real.
Because we live in thisbeautiful virtual world, which
is great too I'm like I wantsome more local friends and
sometimes just the being inaction and the following.
Your intuition is reallypowerful.
(28:04):
I was moving through grief.
I had had someone close to mepass away and it was just one of
those like I don't want to seeanyone, I'm just going to like
curl up at home for a while.
And there was a conference thatwas here locally in Santa Fe,
and I had the intuition to likeget up and get dressed and go
(28:25):
and intellectually I was like Idon't want to do this, but I
just felt that intuitive pulland I went, I sat down and this
woman came and sat next to meand we started talking and she
was one of the most like,energetically aligned, connected
people I've met in so long.
(28:50):
In so long and she has been thisbeautiful hub of introducing me
to all of these other peoplethat are so aligned.
Right, because if you findsomeone that's aligned, they
probably know other people likethat and they're very specific
sort of step-by-step ways thatyou can find a community.
But I find it's more effectiveto be in action, actually let
people see your true, authenticself, because that's how you're
going to find your people.
And to be in action, followingthat intuition and just going
(29:13):
out, saying yes to things,because it's always just a
little easier to say no, to stayat home, but when we say yes to
things we get to see that magichappen.
So I think building communityhas a lot to do with following
that and being in ourauthenticity.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I like that example that and being in our
authenticity.
I like that example.
I often say to people that I aman incredibly introverted
person, living an extrovertedlife and having to I can, as
you're describing your story ofyou know, going to the event but
not really wanting to go to theevent, I'm like, oh, that is me
every time, you know.
It's like I would so muchrather stay home in my pajamas
or just not get dressed or nothave to go to this networking
(29:51):
event where I don't know anyone.
And a couple of years ago I hada business coach who was like
just go to the event with a goalof meeting one person that you
don't know, that you would maybelike to have coffee with that,
you would maybe like to get toknow better, and that's it.
Just one person, just meet oneperson.
And if you've met your oneperson, you can then give
yourself permission to leave ifyou decide that like that's it,
(30:12):
you know, like that can be yourout.
So I've started doing that andI actually went and did an event
last night with a woman that Iknow that I've actually become
really fairly good friends with,as a result of going to an
event exactly like that andhaving that goal of meeting one
person and I met this one personand we had to talk to a
stranger about our overallmission in life and we actually
(30:35):
had the same exact mission, likealmost worded the same way.
It was really crazy and to yourpoint I was like, oh wow,
like-minded people knowlike-minded people, like she
happens to know a lot oflike-minded people that I've
also gotten connected with babysteps, like baby steps towards
finding that community in personand giving yourself the grace
(30:56):
to be patient with how ithappens too.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Yeah.
So I'll tell you something sofunny Our family has.
We have a family of mostlyintroverts, so I totally feel
you there living an extrovertedlife and we have a completely
made up word in our family.
It's spundy trifle, and spundytrifle is the language that we
can use with each other, whichis the plans that we have
(31:21):
tonight.
We totally want to cancel wetotally don't want to go, but we
know that afterward we're goingto be so happy that we went, so
we'll just go around and belike I've totally got a spundy
trifle about tonight and we'relike, yep, feel ya, but it's
like we're going anyway.
So language is powerful.
Feel free to borrow ourridiculous made up word.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
I like that, though.
I like that You're takingcontrol back by having a word.
You're giving it some something, but not giving it all this
power.
I like that.
Okay, so is there anythingabout your business or about you
or about your journey that Idid not touch on that you think
is really important to sharewith the audience?
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Oh, that's great.
I would say that, inunderstanding how to work with
your brain, one of the mostpowerful things that you can
know is that your brain paysattention to action, and so, as
you're listening to this, youmight be feeling something.
You're going to feel someintuitive pull and just take a
(32:19):
moment and listen to that.
It might be to reach out tosomeone.
It might be to go to someactivity, say yes to something.
It might be to go and find aresource or hear more of the
stories we've been talking about, notice what is coming up for
you intuitively and understandthat one of the best things that
you can do in creating thebrain that you want, which, in
(32:41):
turn, creates the life that youwant, is to take action on that
without hesitation.
So, even if you have to likepause real quick and do the
thing, if even you say before Iput my head on the pillow
tonight, I'm going to act onthat, it's not about the thing
that you do being some magic.
It's about the message thatyou're sending to yourself being
(33:04):
the magic because, withouthesitation, you have acted on
what you feel drawn toward.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
And I love that we all talk about in the
manifestation world.
You can't just put it out thereand expect that it's going to
come.
You have to have some form ofinspired action and even if
those are just baby little stabs, breadcrumbs on the ground, sit
toward what you want.
But you don't just like put outthere that you want it and just
(33:36):
sit back and expect that theuniverse is going to deliver.
You need, you need action.
So I'm so glad that youexplained that and I love the
way you did describe that.
So action good and it doesn'tneed to be huge.
People think like, oh, I needto have done all these huge
things.
Start a, write a book, start abusiness, do all these big
things, start small.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
You won't do the big actions unless you're doing the
small actions.
You won't.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Don't say I want to lose a hundred pounds.
That's not going to be.
It Like set out to go for awalk for 10 minutes every day or
be in nature every day for 10or 15 minutes and start there
and then you will build up toother things.
So start small.
Yeah, our community starts withtwo minute meditations and for
many people who haven'tmeditated before, that is a lot.
I remember the first time Imeditated I tried to do it maybe
(34:13):
six minutes and I was like Ican't do this.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
I can't do this.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I can't do this.
This is terrible.
My brain's all over the place.
I'm like, look at my watch,like, is it over, is it over, is
it over?
And then I set a timer.
I'm like is it over?
Of course the timer's going togo off when it's over.
It's not over.
It was awful, but now Imeditate every day and it's such
a powerful part of my life andI miss it and I can do it
anywhere, anytime.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
So it's a practice.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
It is.
It is, but one that's worthinvestigating.
Okay, so, before we went out oftime and thank you so much for
your time I always love to askmy guests to recommend a book
other than their own, which willobviously be in the show notes,
and by the time this comes out,your memoir will be out.
So I always ask my guests torecommend a book that impacted
them personally orprofessionally that they would
recommend to the listener.
(34:59):
So what book would you like torecommend?
Speaker 1 (35:02):
So I'll give you an easy and advanced version, right
?
So I would say, if you're justsort of starting into these
principles, the Gifts ofImperfection by Brene Brown is
phenomenal.
Like that's a good wake up book, that's a good like all right,
I'm feeling inspired about howto be my authentic self and live
that way and then for reallythat deep inner freedom and
(35:25):
peace like we talk about.
This is a book that we study inthe whole second year of our
executive coaching because ofthe depth of what's there.
It's one of the best set ofprinciples of really explaining
why we're here and how tonavigate this beautiful soul and
brain of ours and that is theUntethered Soul by Michael
Singer Great book, yes.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Yes, and deep, deep book.
Take your time reading it, butit comes up a lot on this show.
Actually, a lot of my guestshave recommended that, so it's
definitely a repeat of a verypopular, powerful book.
So thank you for mentioningthat.
And Brene Brown I always loveher books.
There's there's a lot of wisdomthere and she writes in a way
that's very easy to understand.
So thank you, those are bothgreat recommendations.
(36:09):
It's been such a pleasure tomeet you.
I'm going to put everything inthe show notes about you and
your book and the she Center.
I think it's just reallyfascinating.
You're on such a big mission toreally empower women and I
commend you for that.
And I commend you for yourenergy and for making the time
to share your wisdom and yourstory with our audience.
So thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
It's wonderful being on.
Thank you, Jean, for theincredible message you're
putting into the world.
And yeah, the power of womencreating intentional lives is
what greater power is thereExactly.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Thank you so much and we'll definitely stay connected
.
Have a great day everybody.
Thank you for joining us foranother episode of the House of
Jermar podcast, where wellnessstarts within.
We appreciate you being a partof our community and hope you
felt inspired and motivated byour guest.
If you enjoyed this episode,please write us a review and
(36:59):
share it with friends.
Building our reach on YouTubeand Apple podcasts will help us
get closer to our mission toempower 1 million women to live
all in.
You can also follow us onInstagram at House of Jermar and
sign up to be a part of ourmonthly inspiration newsletter
through our website,houseofjermarcom.
If you or someone you knowwould be a good guest on the
(37:22):
show, please reach out to us atpodcast at houseofjermarcom.
This has been a House of Jermarproduction with your host, jean
Collins.
Thank you for joining our house.
I grew up in a cult.
My grandmother was a cultleader and I grew up with the
belief that there were a groupof Satan worshippers that
secretly ruled the whole worldand that they were chasing us,
our family, and that if I everdid anything wrong, I would be
instantly found and killed bythese Satan worshippers.
(00:23):
I was told like I went to mymom when I was little and I was
like, oh, like my back hurts,like what is that about?
I probably was I don't knowlike seven years old at this
point and she's like well, yourback hurts because the Satan
worshipers kidnapped you andthey broke your spine over and
over and they put needles intoyour eyes and that's why your
back hurts.
So this was the explanation foreverything in my world growing
(00:46):
up, which clearly is not theoptimal thing to believe or the
way to grow up.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Welcome to the House of Germar podcast where wellness
starts within.
The House of Germar is alifestyle brand, empowering
women to live all in throughinterior design and personal
wellness.
We are a destination for womenready to reimagine what is
possible in their homes andlives and then create it.
We are honored to have you joinus on our mission to empower 1
(01:19):
million women to live all in.
I am your host, jean Collins,and I invite you to become
inspired by this week's guest.
Welcome to the House of Jormarpodcast where wellness starts
within.
I'm your host, jean Collins,and today's guest is Lydia
Knight.
I am so excited to speak to her.
She is the founder of the sheCenter, she's an executive coach
(01:41):
, she's an author, she's aspeaker and she is really living
the balanced wellness life thatwe are all striving.
So I am so excited to have heron the show to share her journey
, to share how she's helpingwomen, the things that she's
doing.
She has a book coming out, twoof them, actually.
So, lydia, thank you so muchfor joining the show.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Oh, jean, it's so wonderful to be here.
I love your mission and justlike the really important things
that you talk about, so happyto contribute.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Good to be here.
Thank you so much, and I am soexcited.
She comes to the show with likethe right kind of equipment
guys.
She's got a cool microphone,she's got the good camera, so we
are all good to go.
I am so excited for that.
It helps us produce a reallywell looking episode for YouTube
.
So thank you for coming to theshow.
So prepare so before we getstarted into what you do and the
(02:29):
she Center and all of that, Iwould love if you would share a
little bit about background,about yourself, your career
journey, how you got where youare.
I find our stories are whatreally help inspire women, that
no one's path is linear and weall come from lots of different
backgrounds to get to where weare today.
So would you mind giving alittle bit of background about
you, who you are, where you camefrom and how you got to be
(02:49):
where you are today?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Oh yes, absolutely so .
First, disclaimer this has ahappy ending, because I know I
have like a weird and bizarreand dark background, so, just
know, has a really happy ending.
The value of authenticity issomething so important,
something that we talk about andis so important in women's
lives.
So I want to model that andI'll dive in with that.
(03:11):
I grew up in a cult.
My grandmother was a cultleader and I grew up with the
belief that there were a groupof Satan worshipers that
secretly ruled the whole worldand that they were chasing us,
our family, and that if I everdid anything wrong, I would be
instantly found and killed bythese Satan worshipers.
(03:34):
I was told like I went to mymom when I was little and I was
like, oh, like, my back hurts,like what is that about?
I probably was I don't knowlike seven years old at this
point and she's like well, yourback hurts because the Satan
worshipers kidnapped you andthey broke your spine over and
over and they put needles intoyour eyes and that's why your
back hurts.
So this was the explanation foreverything in my world growing
(03:58):
up, which clearly is not theoptimal thing to believe or the
way to grow up, and it's such agreat illustration of how our
stories that we tell ourself orthat we believe from others can
absolutely rule our emotionalworld and our life, and that did
for most of my life.
(04:18):
I didn't leave that cult untilI was an adult and had a
daughter of my own, so this wasa long standing thing, and when
you're in isolation and nottelling other people about your
story, then it's a bit of thisecho chamber.
And so when I found out itwasn't true and when I decided
to leave that cult, by that timeI'd also developed a really
(04:41):
awful, life-threatening eatingdisorder and I created a set of
principles based off ofneuroscience to be able to leave
the cult, to deprogram from thethings that were like ruling my
emotional world and like mysuccess and limiting me in so
many ways.
And it worked like it workedreally, really well.
And then I was able to applythose same principles to ending
(05:03):
an eating disorder, because Itried everything over the years.
And I I was able to apply thosesame principles to ending an
eating disorder because I triedeverything over the years and I
was like how, if nothing works,like what am I going to do?
I don't want to live this wayand I thought I wonder if I can
deprogram from an eatingdisorder like I deprogrammed
from the cult that I grew up in,and it also worked really well.
After years and a week I wascompletely free of that.
(05:24):
So our mission is we show womenhow to have a relationship with
their brains where they neverhave their past polluting their
future and where they get todesign their lives intentionally
.
So that's the quick story ofthe bizarre background, but
that's where we are at today.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Wow, okay, occult.
So let me back up into thatstory just a little bit.
I mean, if you're in a cult,essentially you are almost
brainwashed, I want to say, tobelieve certain things, because
that's all you know, is whatthey tell you, and those things
are so extreme and so I want tosay ridiculous.
You know you weren't taken awayby Satan and all these things
(06:05):
happening.
If you're back hurt.
But how, how did you findneuroscience, like, how did you
even get exposed to a concept ofsomething that could even make
you think for a minute that youcould change the path against
Satan, if that was how you wereingrained to think Great?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
question and the power of education is so
important.
So I went from being veryisolated.
I grew up Mormon as well and soI went to the Mormon-owned
university and, even though itwas still very much
indoctrinated, with limitedprinciples, I went into
psychology and I startedlearning about things like false
(06:45):
memories.
And I started learning aboutthings like false memories and I
started learning aboutneuroscience principles and how
the brain worked, and it wassomething that I felt really
drawn to and I started playingwith and practicing with how I
could feel differently about howI'd grown up being taught this
story.
So this is something thateveryone has an experience where
(07:07):
you intellectually knowsomething Like you know what's
good for you, you know what'shealthy for you, you know what
to say and not to say.
And then there's the thing thatyou actually do and how you
actually feel about it, how wefeel is going to drive our
choices way more than what weintellectually know.
So even when I had gotten theclues that this wasn't true and
(07:29):
had removed myself from thatcult experience, I
intellectually knew it wasn'ttrue, but my body, my nervous
system, emotionally, I was stillbeing driven by the fear that I
was taught to grow up with.
When I understood that whatfires together wires together
you know Hebb's law, howneuroscience works then I
started finding ways andprinciples of how the brain
(07:54):
worked to align my nervoussystem, my body, with what I
intellectually knew.
And so that was my story.
But then what really refinedthese principles was seeing this
work in so many other women'slives.
So there's nothing like doingit, there's nothing like living
it.
You can study it all day long,but the doing it is where we've
(08:14):
really refined those principles.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Wow, Okay, so your business.
I'm going to fast forward alittle here.
The she Center where did thatcome from?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yes, we started ending eating disorders and
that's still what we do.
We've helped over a thousandwomen to end their eating
disorders and what happened iswe had all of these incredibly
successful women come to us andwe're like I have had so much
success in every other area oflife and for some reason I can't
figure out food Like it shouldbe something so simple that I'm
(08:44):
overeating, I'm binge eating,and they're so frustrated.
So in about five, eight weeks,this thing that they had spent
decades trying to fix was justfixed, like they didn't have an
eating disorder anymore.
So they started asking I mean,this is the most powerful thing
I've ever done in my life.
What else can this apply to?
So, that's when we started ourexecutive coaching and we
started applying the principlesto communication and to being
(09:09):
able to influence those aroundyou and navigate things with
family, and we had incredible,incredible results in all of
these different areas.
And what we really have foundand what we like the core that
the she Center is built on, isevery problem in the world
essentially is because, at itscore, the missing influence of
women.
And we're here to restore thatinfluence, that wisdom, that
(09:33):
decision-making, that leadershipof women to the world.
And one of the best ways thatwe can do that on a global scale
, on a community scale, is forwomen to understand how to have
a relationship with their brainswhere the programming, the
messages, the limiting beliefsthat they've been given don't
have any power in their livesanymore.
So that's how that evolved.
(09:54):
We started with fixing one bigproblem and then realized that
the tool is very powerful inother ways, and that's where the
she Center evolved to which isso powerful.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Really, it's like you're teaching you know.
It's like this the whole adageof like you know, you teach
someone how to cook.
You teach someone how to fish,they'll be able to eat for a
lifetime.
I'm sort of mutilating that,but you get the point You're
teaching them tools that theycan then apply across any area
of life as issues arise, acrossthose areas of life.
Because I think part of whatyou found in your journey, as I
(10:28):
heard you, is you think that youare stumbling with a limiting
belief on one thing and thinklike I solved that, okay, like
I'm good.
And then it could be two yearslater and oh, that limiting
belief is back, but in aslightly different way, with a
slightly different twist, in aslightly different part of life.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Yeah, absolutely and to have the foundational
principles and tools of how wework with ourselves, how we work
with our brains.
Our whole life is lived throughour own brain and so when we
know how to work with that, it'slike the principle behind the
principle behind the principles,Like when you can get to the
core of something, it's the mostuseful thing.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
So how are you teaching people Like, if people,
if someone reaches out to youlike, what does that journey
look like for them?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Absolutely.
The first foundational piece isto have community, to have
people who get it, to havepeople that are resonating with
your story.
So we have an incrediblecommunity that we've built over
the years, and joining thatcommunity and being able to
access that education andresources the real
transformational kind ofeducation where you're
(11:37):
understanding how the brainworks and where you're
understanding how to navigateyour emotions.
So it starts with learning andthere's this beautiful waking up
process that happens where youhave community and where you
have that content, that youstart seeing life in a new way
and having an expandedpossibility for your own life.
And then what really createsthe most transformation is the
(11:58):
coaching piece.
That's been my life's work, youknow, and we have an incredible
team you know the last 14 yearsnow and the coaching where you
have someone who is an expert atseeing your blind spots and
seeing outside of what you cansee.
Our brains are very motivated tostay the same, and so our
brains will really fightresistance.
(12:20):
It's like, oh, I know what Ishould do, but it sort of feels
so scary to change, like, yeah,your brain is doing what it does
and so bringing down thatresistance and helping your
brain feel comfortable to showyou what's actually going to
make the biggest, like movingthe needle in your life.
Oftentimes your brain will hidefrom you because it's the key
to your transformation.
(12:40):
So having someone who gets itand who is an expert at knowing
how the brain works and knowinghow your brain works and your
patterns.
So the coaching, the content inthe community.
So we have live events, but wealso have mostly our connection
virtually all over the worldwhere we come together in that
community.
So as women, we're all busy andhaving a community content,
(13:03):
coaching that fits around, likeyour life and what you're
building, we found is reallyimportant.
So that's why we do it that way.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Interesting.
So do you do one-on-onecoaching in addition to group
coaching?
Everything?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
we do is based off of what is most effective.
So we find that one-on-onecoaching is not as effective as
coaching in a group, because onequestion is everyone's question
and because of how the brainworks mirror neurons, where you
actually have an experience likesomeone else is having as you
witness it.
So it really expedites healingand improvement and unleashing
(13:39):
potential when you can see otherwomen wake up as well.
So we find that group coachingis the most effective and that's
why we do it that way and wehave that in multiple different
levels for different things.
But that's the process thefeedback adjust of what actually
works best in real life.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Right, Interesting, that's really cool and you're
learning from others.
We all learn from each other'sstories and get empowered and
see, you know, sometimes otherpeople are mirrors to ourselves.
So sometimes you might think,oh, that's not my issue.
But then you or someone elsedescribe it.
You're like oh huh, thatactually does sound like me.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
It totally is.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
That is.
That actually is me.
I didn't think that was me, butthat actually sounds a lot like
me.
So how do most people find youLike?
How are they becoming aware ofyour organization and what you
do?
Speaker 1 (14:26):
So wonderful connection like this.
It's amazing to haveconversations like this here on
podcasts.
People find us through oursocial media.
It's been really interesting tosee how many people have been
interested in the story of how Igrew up and are interested in
cults and they'll find thatstory and they'll be like, oh
okay, this led to somethingreally cool and then they'll
(14:48):
explore more.
So our website, social media,podcasts.
I think and I honestly believeand I've seen this over and over
that when you have a missionand an answer that someone needs
, the right people find you Like.
We have.
So many clients are like Idon't even know how I found you
and you are exactly what Ineeded.
So I think there's also like anenergetic pull where we find
(15:12):
the solutions that we need.
I think that everyone listeningto this right now is listening
to it for a reason.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yes, oh, I agree.
Yeah, and when you openyourself up and just pay a
little bit of attention to thething that came across your desk
or that you heard, or that yousaw or that you read, and if it
makes you pause, maybe payattention to that pause and
maybe that's the universetelling you something and maybe
you need to take at least a babystep of action in terms of
(15:39):
researching it and seeing howyour heart feels about it as you
look into it, as opposed tojust moving on with your day,
which is the easier thing to do.
So talk to me about your books.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yes.
So I think this is a greatexample of the power of
authenticity, again like havinga community where you can be
authentic sharing your story,having a community where you can
be authentic sharing your story.
So, jean, I didn't share thestory of how I grew up for a
really long time In fact, thereis a double memoir that was
(16:13):
already written.
So it was the story of megrowing up in a cult and my dad
looking for his children for 25years when we were kidnapped
away as toddlers five years whenwe were kidnapped away as like
toddlers and it's this reallybeautiful story.
And it just sat there for yearsbecause it's just too weird,
like people aren't going to care, but it felt like an important
story to be told.
And then, I mean, I actuallyhad a good friend pass away and
(16:41):
I started looking at my lifedifferently and what I was
waiting on and what was sittingon the shelf, and I just decided
to start sharing the story andso I opened up TikTok.
I made a totally new personalaccount that nobody would care
about, nobody would see, itwould just be me telling the
story and it blew up.
We just had viral videos overand over and over and it was
(17:01):
such a beautiful community thatcame together.
So shout out to all my honeststory time friends on TikTok.
But it was interesting to seehow many people were interested
in that story.
I'm like, oh okay, well,everyone is asking when is the
book coming out?
Are you going to write a book?
I was like, actually it'salready written, so here.
So that's already written,that's going to be out very soon
(17:25):
.
And then we have an incrediblebook called oh.
So that book is called Split,the Double Memoir.
And then we have a book comingout later in the year called
Thought Leader.
That is about how our thoughtsdrive our actions, drive our
results and how to reallytransform at the key and the
core of changing our brains.
So it's the principles thatwe've taught over the last 14
(17:46):
years personally with clients,and we just want the whole world
to have these principles.
So that book, thought Leader,will be coming out later in the
year.
That's so exciting.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Wow.
So what else do you want to dowith your business?
Because it sounds like you'redoing a lot, but I feel like
someone like you has large goalsand wants to have a large
impact.
What else is kind of out therethat you're thinking?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
about.
They're not even sure how it'sgoing to happen, but this is the
vision happening Now.
We do live events.
They're incredible, likeimmersive events, taking healing
from like decades to days.
Something that's just come upover and over is this feeling
(18:33):
like there's going to besomething we're doing where
we're building local communitiesof women that can come together
and support and teach eachother and really build in a
grassroots way to change theworld we live in, to have it be
the world that we want to livein.
And I think a lot of women,people in general but I think
the power of women is soincredible.
They're waking up and they'regetting into action and they're
(18:56):
wanting to know what can we doand what can we do together and
what's happening in the worldright now.
There's a lot of hard, scarythings happening and what we're
seeing is these are symptoms ofwhat's called an extinction
burst.
Essentially, an old system thatwasn't good for anyone, except
maybe a select few, is goingaway and we're going to be
building something new together.
(19:17):
So we have a vision of beingpart, of mobilizing women and
bringing them together andhelping them to have the
principles to center themselvesbut then also to really make an
impact in their community, so Idon't even know what all that is
going to look like.
I think it starts with theonline communities that we have,
but that's the sense that iscoming to me now.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
It's the heart-driven mission, and I love that you
said you don't know how it'sgoing to look, because I think
if you took yourself back 10years ago, you would never have
been able to envision where youare today.
And that's one of the beautifulthings that we have to share in
our stories is that you don'thave to know.
You don't have to know howyou're going to get there.
(19:59):
If you have a passion and acalling and it's heart-driven
and you are working on yourselfand your inner wellness, it will
come to you as it is meant tocome to you and unfold as it's
meant to unfold.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
That is beautiful wisdom and I love how you said
the 10 years.
Just yesterday I had a friendsay.
Yesterday I had a friend saywould you have ever predicted
this 10 years ago?
And I love my life and I lovethe life we get to help other
women create.
And 10 years ago was the timethat I was leaving the cult I
(20:32):
grew up in.
I left the Mormon church, Idivorced an abusive husband, I
ended my eating disorder.
That all happened just withinthe space of a couple of years.
It was a huge transformation.
And I just realized yesterdaywhen my friend was like what
were you doing 10 years ago?
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I'm like whoa 10 years ago was like that yeah,
and you weren't on Facebook thento remind you and say this was
you 10 years ago then and now Ican't imagine social media was
part of the cult.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
No, that was.
I'm a little too old for that.
It probably would have been ifI was younger.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
What a really cool journey.
So I would love to talk aboutwellness for a couple minutes,
because I believe that peoplethat are missiondriven
messengers and really have acalling and really want to do
good in the world very oftencare a lot about their inner
wellness and their inner peaceand balance within their own
lives, so that they can be rolemodels for others.
(21:31):
So I would love if you wouldshare a little bit about what
inner wellness looks like inyour life.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Yes, in your life, yes.
So there are two main thingsthat we oftentimes come back to
in our executive coaching, whichis internal freedom and
internal peace, and that reallybeing the root of wellness.
So that internal peace is whenyou have those quiet moments,
when it's just you and your ownthoughts.
Is it a beautiful andnourishing and kind experience?
(21:58):
Or is there an inner criticbeating you up and you're
cycling through your to-dos?
And nourishing and kindexperience?
Or is there an inner criticbeating you up and you're
cycling through your to-dos andyou're not good enough?
So the internal piece wherethose quiet moments are ones you
look forward to and that youlove, that's what we aspire to.
And then the internal freedomis the knowing that you are the
captain of your own ship andyou're able to change your life.
(22:19):
So when you see something youwanna create, you know how to
create it.
You have the support, you'reinvesting in yourself, you're
taking the action and the hopeand the joy that comes with the
freedom to know that you can setyour sights on something and
create it in an energy that ispeaceful.
So it all feeds back with eachother.
So I would say that innerfreedom and peace is what that
(22:43):
wellness really.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Oh, so much.
I say to people all the time.
So I love, first of all.
I love that you said innerpeace, because I talk to people
all the time about.
You know your goal should neverbe happiness, because what is
happiness, you know, and thatebbs and flows, where if you can
find a place of inner peace,then you are equipped to handle
whatever will happen in life,because there will be things
(23:08):
that happen in life that are nothappy, that are not pleasant,
but that is part of life.
You can't shield yourself fromanything that's unhappy and so
if you can have inner peace,that just equips you to stay in
a very grounded I don't want touse the word peace again but
peaceful place to be able tohandle what life is kind of
throwing your way.
So I love that you use the wordpeace, because I think that is
(23:30):
really incredibly important.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Yeah it's beautiful wisdom.
One way we talk about it islike notes on a piano, like our
emotions right, like you wantall of the notes to have the
music that you create.
And there's ways to find peacein any of those emotions, in
deep sadness there's a beauty tothat and in fun and joy and
playfulness.
That's more of an inherentthing that we're like, oh, more
(23:54):
of this.
But you can find that peace inthe different quality and the
diversity of all the differentexperiences that we have as
human beings.
It's beautiful wisdom, thankyou.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Yeah, and it's important, as you mentioned what
we deem as negative emotions.
All the time you need them alland it's, you know, learning how
to live with things like angerand sadness and depression and
disappointment.
Those are all emotions thatexist for everyone and the goal
should not be to just never havethose emotions.
It's part of the whole equation.
Just like you mentioned, thepiano analogy is a really good
(24:26):
one.
So giving people the tools tobe able to handle all of those
emotions is a really powerfulgift.
So what does wellness look likein your day-to-day life?
What are you doing for yourselfpersonally to try to have that
peace and that wellness and thatbalance I mean?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
something that I continue to remind myself of.
I feel like it's the lessonthat needs to be learned again
every day for probably all of usis that what you're creating in
the world is so much abouttaking care of you and you
centering yourself and youtaking that time, and we can
oftentimes get into a place offorce and there are amazing
(25:04):
results that come from that.
I used to regularly work90-hour weeks and never have
time off, and amazing thingscame from that, but not nearly
as amazing as creating from aplace of truly being centered.
So coming back to that centerand centering ourselves For
myself, that is a meditationpractice and that can look like
(25:26):
different things, but having ameditation practice where you
are practicing being still andyou're giving your brain that
time for stillness, havingsunlight and being in nature, is
an incredible tool, and oneaspect of that that I think is
so powerful is that nature hasan incredible abundance
(25:49):
mentality.
Like you go out and you seeduring the summer, I see the
rose bushes and I'm like it'slike a lot of roses bush, like,
if you need, like, roses on topof roses on top of roses, but
there's such an abundance thatnature has and it's a very good
reminder for us and to be out inwhat we are because we are
nature as well.
So a meditation practice, beingout in nature and having ways
(26:13):
and time that is set aside forus to sort out our own thoughts,
whether that's journaling themout or being able to talk to
someone who is trusted, beingable to tell our story, that
connection and sharing what isinside of us and being able to
get it outside somehow.
Our principles, thatcontinually, are what I go back
to, what our community goes backto, and it's those simple
(26:36):
things that don't sound like theone crazy trick too, but those
aren't the things that lastright.
It's the deep breaths, it's themeditation, those are the
things that create who we are.
Long-term, it compounds.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So if someone is listening orwatching this on YouTube and
they're thinking to themselveshmm, I kind of feel like I need
a community Aside from you know,joining your organization.
What would you suggest tosomeone who is sort of feeling
like I need to find a communityor I need to find a tribe of
(27:12):
people that might help lift meup?
What advice would you give tothem about how to go about doing
that?
Because I would assume that youhad to start doing that from
scratch.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Yep, absolutely.
There's nothing like being inaction.
So often we'll get into apattern of perfectionism where
we're like I need to find mypeople and find my tribe and I'm
going to read books about itand I'm going to think about it
and I'm going to write mymission statement.
Like we start, like putting allthese tasks in our way, and it
is incredible.
(27:42):
I'll give you a quick example.
So I had a goal where I'm likeyou know what?
I have a community, I have goodpeople, but I want more like
local friends.
I want like people that I couldlike hug for real.
Because we live in thisbeautiful virtual world, which
is great too I'm like I wantsome more local friends and
sometimes just the being inaction and the following.
Your intuition is reallypowerful.
(28:04):
I was moving through grief.
I had had someone close to mepass away and it was just one of
those like I don't want to seeanyone, I'm just going to like
curl up at home for a while.
And there was a conference thatwas here locally in Santa Fe,
and I had the intuition to likeget up and get dressed and go
(28:25):
and intellectually I was like Idon't want to do this, but I
just felt that intuitive pulland I went, I sat down and this
woman came and sat next to meand we started talking and she
was one of the most like,energetically aligned, connected
people I've met in so long.
(28:50):
In so long and she has been thisbeautiful hub of introducing me
to all of these other peoplethat are so aligned.
Right, because if you findsomeone that's aligned, they
probably know other people likethat and they're very specific
sort of step-by-step ways thatyou can find a community.
But I find it's more effectiveto be in action, actually let
people see your true, authenticself, because that's how you're
going to find your people.
And to be in action, followingthat intuition and just going
(29:13):
out, saying yes to things,because it's always just a
little easier to say no, to stayat home, but when we say yes to
things we get to see that magichappen.
So I think building communityhas a lot to do with following
that and being in ourauthenticity.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
I like that example that and being in our
authenticity.
I like that example.
I often say to people that I aman incredibly introverted
person, living an extrovertedlife and having to I can, as
you're describing your story ofyou know, going to the event but
not really wanting to go to theevent, I'm like, oh, that is me
every time, you know.
It's like I would so muchrather stay home in my pajamas
or just not get dressed or nothave to go to this networking
(29:51):
event where I don't know anyone.
And a couple of years ago I hada business coach who was like
just go to the event with a goalof meeting one person that you
don't know, that you would maybelike to have coffee with that,
you would maybe like to get toknow better, and that's it.
Just one person, just meet oneperson.
And if you've met your oneperson, you can then give
yourself permission to leave ifyou decide that like that's it,
(30:12):
you know, like that can be yourout.
So I've started doing that andI actually went and did an event
last night with a woman that Iknow that I've actually become
really fairly good friends with,as a result of going to an
event exactly like that andhaving that goal of meeting one
person and I met this one personand we had to talk to a
stranger about our overallmission in life and we actually
(30:35):
had the same exact mission, likealmost worded the same way.
It was really crazy and to yourpoint I was like, oh wow,
like-minded people knowlike-minded people, like she
happens to know a lot oflike-minded people that I've
also gotten connected with babysteps, like baby steps towards
finding that community in personand giving yourself the grace
(30:56):
to be patient with how ithappens too.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Yeah.
So I'll tell you something sofunny Our family has.
We have a family of mostlyintroverts, so I totally feel
you there living an extrovertedlife and we have a completely
made up word in our family.
It's spundy trifle, and spundytrifle is the language that we
can use with each other, whichis the plans that we have
(31:21):
tonight.
We totally want to cancel wetotally don't want to go, but we
know that afterward we're goingto be so happy that we went, so
we'll just go around and belike I've totally got a spundy
trifle about tonight and we'relike, yep, feel ya, but it's
like we're going anyway.
So language is powerful.
Feel free to borrow ourridiculous made up word.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
I like that, though.
I like that You're takingcontrol back by having a word.
You're giving it some something, but not giving it all this
power.
I like that.
Okay, so is there anythingabout your business or about you
or about your journey that Idid not touch on that you think
is really important to sharewith the audience?
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Oh, that's great.
I would say that, inunderstanding how to work with
your brain, one of the mostpowerful things that you can
know is that your brain paysattention to action, and so, as
you're listening to this, youmight be feeling something.
You're going to feel someintuitive pull and just take a
(32:19):
moment and listen to that.
It might be to reach out tosomeone.
It might be to go to someactivity, say yes to something.
It might be to go and find aresource or hear more of the
stories we've been talking about, notice what is coming up for
you intuitively and understandthat one of the best things that
you can do in creating thebrain that you want, which, in
(32:41):
turn, creates the life that youwant, is to take action on that
without hesitation.
So, even if you have to likepause real quick and do the
thing, if even you say before Iput my head on the pillow
tonight, I'm going to act onthat, it's not about the thing
that you do being some magic.
It's about the message thatyou're sending to yourself being
(33:04):
the magic because, withouthesitation, you have acted on
what you feel drawn toward.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
And I love that we all talk about in the
manifestation world.
You can't just put it out thereand expect that it's going to
come.
You have to have some form ofinspired action and even if
those are just baby little stabs, breadcrumbs on the ground, sit
toward what you want.
But you don't just like put outthere that you want it and just
(33:36):
sit back and expect that theuniverse is going to deliver.
You need, you need action.
So I'm so glad that youexplained that and I love the
way you did describe that.
So action good and it doesn'tneed to be huge.
People think like, oh, I needto have done all these huge
things.
Start a, write a book, start abusiness, do all these big
things, start small.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
You won't do the big actions unless you're doing the
small actions.
You won't.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Don't say I want to lose a hundred pounds.
That's not going to be.
It Like set out to go for awalk for 10 minutes every day or
be in nature every day for 10or 15 minutes and start there
and then you will build up toother things.
So start small.
Yeah, our community starts withtwo minute meditations and for
many people who haven'tmeditated before, that is a lot.
I remember the first time Imeditated I tried to do it maybe
(34:13):
six minutes and I was like Ican't do this.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
I can't do this.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I can't do this.
This is terrible.
My brain's all over the place.
I'm like, look at my watch,like, is it over, is it over, is
it over?
And then I set a timer.
I'm like is it over?
Of course the timer's going togo off when it's over.
It's not over.
It was awful, but now Imeditate every day and it's such
a powerful part of my life andI miss it and I can do it
anywhere, anytime.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
So it's a practice.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
It is.
It is, but one that's worthinvestigating.
Okay, so, before we went out oftime and thank you so much for
your time I always love to askmy guests to recommend a book
other than their own, which willobviously be in the show notes,
and by the time this comes out,your memoir will be out.
So I always ask my guests torecommend a book that impacted
them personally orprofessionally that they would
recommend to the listener.
(34:59):
So what book would you like torecommend?
Speaker 1 (35:02):
So I'll give you an easy and advanced version, right
?
So I would say, if you're justsort of starting into these
principles, the Gifts ofImperfection by Brene Brown is
phenomenal.
Like that's a good wake up book, that's a good like all right,
I'm feeling inspired about howto be my authentic self and live
that way and then for reallythat deep inner freedom and
(35:25):
peace like we talk about.
This is a book that we study inthe whole second year of our
executive coaching because ofthe depth of what's there.
It's one of the best set ofprinciples of really explaining
why we're here and how tonavigate this beautiful soul and
brain of ours and that is theUntethered Soul by Michael
Singer Great book, yes.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
Yes, and deep, deep book.
Take your time reading it, butit comes up a lot on this show.
Actually, a lot of my guestshave recommended that, so it's
definitely a repeat of a verypopular, powerful book.
So thank you for mentioningthat.
And Brene Brown I always loveher books.
There's there's a lot of wisdomthere and she writes in a way
that's very easy to understand.
So thank you, those are bothgreat recommendations.
(36:09):
It's been such a pleasure tomeet you.
I'm going to put everything inthe show notes about you and
your book and the she Center.
I think it's just reallyfascinating.
You're on such a big mission toreally empower women and I
commend you for that.
And I commend you for yourenergy and for making the time
to share your wisdom and yourstory with our audience.
So thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
It's wonderful being on.
Thank you, Jean, for theincredible message you're
putting into the world.
And yeah, the power of womencreating intentional lives is
what greater power is thereExactly.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Thank you so much and we'll definitely stay connected
.
Have a great day everybody.
Thank you for joining us foranother episode of the House of
Jermar podcast, where wellnessstarts within.
We appreciate you being a partof our community and hope you
felt inspired and motivated byour guest.
If you enjoyed this episode,please write us a review and
(36:59):
share it with friends.
Building our reach on YouTubeand Apple podcasts will help us
get closer to our mission toempower 1 million women to live
all in.
You can also follow us onInstagram at House of Jermar and
sign up to be a part of ourmonthly inspiration newsletter
through our website,houseofjermarcom.
If you or someone you knowwould be a good guest on the
(37:22):
show, please reach out to us atpodcast at houseofjermarcom.
This has been a House of Jermarproduction with your host, jean
Collins.
Thank you for joining our house.
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