June 4, 2025 • 54 mins
In this episode of the House of Peregrine Podcast, Mickelle welcomes burnout and somatic empowerment coach Alicia Ingruber for a deep, honest conversation about what it really means to rebuild after a burnout. Alicia shares her personal journey of collapsing after years of high achievement and international moves, and how her slow, body-led recovery became the foundation for the work she now offers to sensitive, driven women.
Together, they explore the misunderstood experience of burnout, how sensitivity can become a superpower, and why the world wasn’t designed for women’s nervous systems. This episode is an invitation to rethink leadership, ambition, and healing from the inside out and will offer wisdom and perspective if you or someone you love is suffering from a burnout.
You will Learn:
– What burnout actually is and why it’s often misdiagnosed
– Why women need different rhythms and the science behind it
– Somatic healing: what it is and how it changes everything
– Sensitivity as strength, not weakness
– The deeper cost of ignoring our nervous system
– How Alicia’s burnout became a complete life reset
Alicia works with women who want success without self-abandonment. Learn more at www.aliciainspired.com or follow her on Instagram @aliciainspired. Her podcast Alicia Inspired: Success Without Sacrificing Wellbeing is available wherever you listen to podcasts.
Discover more resources and exclusive perks for internationals with the House of Peregrine app. Visit HouseofPeregrine.com to download and start living a more connected, intentional life today.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi, I'm Mikkel Weber, founder and auteur of House of
Peregrine. Expat, immigrant, pioneer.
None of these were a fit, but Peregrine describes what we are
all about perfectly, those that craft their life story with
intention. I've spent the last six years in
awe of the life changing connections and stories I've
(00:23):
experienced while living abroad and believe it is time for this
adventure to be recognized, celebrated, and elevated to the
life stage that it is. Through these interviews, I hope
to connect those living internationally more deeply to
both the place they are living and with themselves and those
around them. We cover everything from
international finances and meaning making to global
(00:46):
parenting and relationships to make your time abroad more
intentional, edifying and full of beauty.
Find us at houseofperegrine.com where you can find more ways to
connect with the ethos of Peregrine.
I hope you enjoy today's guest. Let's get started.
Welcome back to the House of Peregrine podcast, where we
explore new ways of living, leading and belonging while
(01:09):
abroad. Today I'm joined by Alicia in
Grouper, A somatic empowerment coach who helps sensitive,
driven women overcome self doubtand burnout so they can lead
with confidence and ease. After her own 2 year burnout,
Alicia rebuilt her life by working with her body, not
against it. Now she helps others to do the
same. I'm excited to bring this
conversation to you today because it is a very delicate
(01:30):
and often misunderstood subject.Burnout is something that until
you do it, you just don't know what it's all about.
And I bring up things today thatI have never talked about before
on my own journey. I hope you enjoy it.
I hope it can help those out there that might be wondering or
supporting someone who might be in or experiencing a burnout.
And also, I hope that it brings new awareness around leadership,
(01:54):
women, and sensitivity. Thank you so much for joining me
today, Alicia. Welcome, Alicia.
I cannot tell you how excited I am to speak with you today.
Thank you so much for inviting me into this space.
I'm so excited to be here. I knew I wanted to speak to you
when you use the word somatic and burnout in the same
(02:15):
sentence. And then you threw in a couple
other things like yoga and things that I love.
And so I knew that you have a deep understanding of something
that I find really, really sometimes missing in our our
mental health discussions. So the body.
Yeah. So why don't you quickly
introduce yourself? And then I want to jump.
And I'm guilty of always wantingto jump right in because I'm so
(02:35):
excited to talk to people. But why don't you introduce
yourself first? All right, not a problem.
So hello everyone, my name is Alicia.
I have a company called Alicia Inspired and I am a somatic
empowerment coach for women and I support women in becoming
their most confident selves by using their bodies so that they
(02:57):
can achieve what they want without burning themselves out,
which is a huge part to not overwhelm and not become too
anxious. Yeah.
And, and that this is such a massive topic, but it's actually
really specific. It's actually really simple when
you break it down. Would you, would I say it
correctly that fundamentally women's bodies need different
(03:17):
things than than maybe are required in our built
environment right now? Absolutely.
So, so much of the research in medical professionals were based
on men's bodies. So everything from the amount of
sleep we've been told that we need, everything has been based
on a man's body. And a man's body has very
(03:38):
different hormones than a woman's body.
And so now there is research starting to come out that is
prioritizing Women's Health and just showing that our bodies
work completely differently and we need things, we need to
approach things differently for our happiest and healthiest
lives. So everything from needing more
(03:58):
hours of sleep, from needing more warmth in a room, our
bodies get colder much faster from the way that we approach
exercise and approach food. And how we deal with stress is
very different when it compare, when we compare men and women,
especially if we're talking to sensitive women.
Yeah. And I want to get into that your
work there and your specialization there.
(04:20):
But first I wanted to say something about leadership.
So this, this not only we need different things, but we produce
different things. We produce things differently
and that can come through in leadership, which something is
near and dear to my heart actually, because after spending
ten years in advertising is a freelance film director that's a
very male dominated field, usingmy body like a man would have or
(04:43):
expecting myself to perform in the same way, using the same
skills, cultivating the same leadership style.
And this is a subject that's near and dear to my heart.
And so I really love exploring this.
So there's so many things. And then you have a specialty in
sensitive people. So yeah, why don't we start with
some definitions for people of how you define these things?
(05:04):
So let's start with somatic. So somatic basically means of
the body. So when we talk about somatic
work, it means that we are usingthe body in some way to feel
deeper into our experience and to rewire or reprogram something
that we're carrying physically in our bodies.
So our bodies are incredibly intelligent creatures and we our
(05:31):
body remembers everything that we have ever experienced, as
well as what has been experienced through our
ancestral line. So there's a lot of really cool
research that shows that trauma can be passed down through
generations, just through DNA. It's really powerful.
So there are things in our body that our conscious mind is not
(05:51):
always aware of, but our subconscious mind is linked to
our body really deeply. So when we start to work with
our body, we can actually tap into the subconscious mind and
into forms of healing that we wouldn't be able to access just
using our rational minds. And this can look like movement
(06:12):
based therapy, breath work, embodiment, using voice and
expression. There's lots of different ways
this can happen, but it's a really, really, really, really,
really powerful mode of healing.And I feel that this is what's
been missing from a lot of mind based therapies.
I have so many clients that cometo me and say, OK, I went into
(06:32):
therapy, I understand why I feelthis way.
I know where it comes from. I understand my patterns, but I
still feel anxious. I don't feel different in my
body. And it's because we're missing
that element of actually workingwith the body to release stress
and trauma and to regulate yourself so that you feel safe
(06:54):
and you feel confident in yourself.
And it brings you in congruence,right?
That that mind body connection, you don't have to know what
you're moving somatically necessarily for it to move, but
it brings you in a more coherentway, which it strikes me your
work is a little bit this way. So you're coming in congruence
with your body. And also if you're working with
(07:16):
women, with the way women's bodies need to work.
So let's discuss that a little bit.
So somatically we are, you know,there there's a way of healing,
like you said, traditional talk therapy.
If you're having trouble in yourlife or even hitting blocks
about what you getting, what youwhere you want to go, could
somatic work can really be the missing link, especially.
(07:38):
I mean, I don't know if it's especially for women, but what
I've noticed is women actually needless.
Maybe, and maybe for whatever reason, I don't know, men do
too. But speaking from my own
experience, somatic work is extremely powerful.
And so then if you are coming into concurrence as a woman, how
does that look? How is that different when we
start to recognize that we actually lead differently, need
(08:02):
differently things? The world has so far not been
made for us. We've actually been operating at
a disadvantage with the built world.
How does that stack on top? It's really interesting because
as women we've grown up in a male dominated world.
The world is designed to supportmen and so a lot of women have
(08:24):
been suppressing their natural feminine energy.
Everyone has both masculine and feminine, but they've
suppressing their feminine energy to essentially show up as
men with this idea that I have to do things like men to be
successful in my career, to achieve certain things.
And our society in general viewsthe feminine energy, the
(08:47):
feminine aspect, as weak, as frivolous and as unimportant.
But for women especially, we have this feminine energy.
And the more that we can live with our feminine energy and
really tap into that, actually the healthier our bodies are.
Our bodies are going to be because we're feminine beings,
(09:08):
right? Whether you identify as feminine
or not. So feminine energy is about
really being present, really being able to feel and
experience whatever sensations are coming through.
Feminine energy is about creativity and being able to
connect to other people. It's very heart lead.
And I always say the difference between masculine, feminine
(09:30):
energy. If you're in your masculine
energy, you read a book to learnsomething.
I'm studying, I'm learning. If you're in your feminine
energy, you read a book for the pure enjoyment of reading.
No other goal, just I want to read and I enjoy this.
So being able to also live in that state calms our nervous
(09:51):
system down because a lot of women when they are in their
masculine, they're very much pushing, achieving.
They've got a long To Do List. They're very stressed and being
able to come into our feminine allows our nervous system to
relax, which allows our body to heal and replenish itself, and
we feel so much better. Yeah, it's the actual recharge.
(10:14):
So I found this for myself. It's really funny that if I
don't have time to do that in the weekend, there is no
recovering for me during the week.
And that was a hard one lesson, that just reading a book in
front of the fire is my recharge.
It's not going on a trip, it's not planning more stuff at the
weekend, it's not necessarily even seeing anybody else.
(10:35):
It's really being still being tapped in and enjoying something
really simple. And that that unlock has been so
key for me. But it took literally 40 years
to learn. So I'm hoping with your, what
you're doing is so that's why I'm so passionate about what
you're doing. One of the reasons.
So then we have sensitive sensitivity or people who
identify as highly sensitive. Tell me about that.
(10:59):
I. Love these people 'cause I'm one
of them as well. So a highly sensitive person is
basically someone who has a reactive nervous system that
responds more intensely to outside stimuli.
So our nervous system responds to environments, to physical
sensations, to our senses, all those sort of things.
(11:21):
But highly sensitive people thatresponds is more intense.
So they feel more, in the simplest of terms, they just
feel more, they feel more emotionally, they feel more
through their senses. And in a world that is very
sensory overloaded, there's a lot of noise, there's a lot of
people, there's a lot of visuals, it's moving very fast.
(11:45):
This can feel pretty overwhelming, right?
Like as a sensitive person. And so a lot of the time that
sensitivity is viewed as a weakness or a limitation, like,
oh, I can't handle being social a lot.
You know, I get tired really easily or I can't watch violent
films. I, I really, it's, it's too
intense for me to watch. And I've had clients come to me
(12:09):
and really be upset that they'resensitive to see that as a
weakness. But I see sensitivity as this
beautiful superpower because to be able to feel is what it means
to be alive. It's what's separating us from
the robots for now, in any case.But I mean, it's why art was
(12:29):
created, right? For our capacity to feel and to
connect to other people. And you are with that
sensitivity, you are able to feel, yes, the lowest of the
lows, right? It's pretty intense and heavy.
But on the other side of the spectrum, you're also able to
feel the highest of highs, like the feelings that people take
(12:50):
drugs for, right? Like that you can naturally
access. So it's really about
appreciating the sensitivity andusing it to your advantage.
So I've found, personally, my body tells me what I need to
eat, what I need to avoid, what people like.
My intuition has just gotten so strong because I've really
(13:12):
embraced my sensitivity and it'sjust about being able to manage
so that you regulate your nervous system more often and
you have really strong, healthy boundaries for when things
become a little bit too much. So it's a way to navigate.
Yeah, yeah. It's it strikes me that this is
another case. It's almost like if you're a
(13:32):
woman who has been in the built environment using your masculine
energy, the world is not necessarily built for us.
Not men's fault, but it's just built around men and you're
sensitive. These are layers and layers of
things. And as someone who discovered
later in life, again, that I wasalso sensitive, you think that
you are. There's something wrong with
(13:54):
you. And so when you recognize and
honor this, it actually turns the entire world upside down.
Your world. You just realize you have an
extra sense almost so like everything is louder for you,
everything is stronger for you and you're like, no wonder my
body is so tired. It is brings a lot of relief to
(14:16):
because when you look around andthink, why is no one else
feeling, seeing or hearing this?It makes you wonder about
yourself. It makes it makes that extra
load. And so I think that the work
you're doing as we keep narrowing it down is actually
seems really specific, but I think that it's actually more
common than we realize. Yeah, a lot of people don't
(14:41):
acknowledge it because of that stigma of seeing it as weakness.
And it's it really amazes me as a sensitive person if I'm in a
space. I remember I once had to buy a
phone and I walked into the store and all over the walls
there were screens flashing films and color, and there was
music blaring like you were in anightclub.
(15:02):
And I said to the guy, how can you work here?
And he's like, oh, I don't even notice.
I'm like, really? Wow.
OK, OK. You know, But that's, that's
part of his nervous system that kind of blocks all of that.
So I see I, I see that as a bit of a, a numbing thing, right?
Because you're missing out on what's actually happening in
(15:25):
your environment. You're not even aware of what's
around you. And I remember once because I
feel music very, very deeply. It's a whole sensory experience.
And I played a song for someone,like, you have to listen to
this. And while this music was
playing, I could feel it throughmy body.
The emotion is coming up, like, oh, my God.
And they're just sitting there like, oh, yeah.
And I was really like, how can you not feel this?
(15:46):
I'm like, yeah, it's all right. But he was really blown away by
what I was experiencing. He's like, what's happening?
I'm like, oh, you're missing out.
Like, it's actually such a gift to experience the world in this
way. At least I think really it's
much more colorful. Yeah, it has.
As of everything, it has ups anddowns, right?
Positives and negatives. Absolutely.
So you, so the last bit that youI think unintentionally
(16:09):
specialize in is international people or people who are living
outside of their country. So this is yet another layer of
difference. And so with that, I want to tell
your story. Can you tell us a little bit
about your own journey and how you got to do what you're doing
today? Absolutely.
So I was born in Australia to a Dutch mother and an Austrian
(16:33):
born Australian father and my father worked for the Australian
High Commission and so from the age of two years old we moved
country every three or four years.
And so growing up I was always the New Girl at school.
I always had a different accent and I was always searching for
(16:54):
how to belong into these new social groups.
So it was an incredibly beautiful, amazing experience.
But as you said, there's a negative side to that.
And there was a lot of heartbreak and the pain of
losing your life and having to start over multiple times.
And so when it came to where do I want to live, I chose to live
(17:19):
in Amsterdam because my mother, being Dutch, we had come back to
the Netherlands quite regularly throughout my childhood and my
teenage years to visit her family.
So for me, this felt like the most consistent and familiar
place through my upbringing. And so I had this idea in my
head of like, OK, I'm going to move to the Netherlands and I'm
going to feel like I belong. And all my cousins are there, my
(17:41):
family is there. It's this is what I've been
looking for my whole life. And I grew up here and that was
not the case. And then I just realized that I
am not Dutch. Dutch people don't see me as
Dutch at all. Australian people don't see me
as Australian because I don't have the accent.
And looking for that sense of home and belonging.
(18:03):
It was very disappointing to realize that that's not
something that can be found in aplace necessarily.
And so doing my best to create my dream life, I went into
OverDrive. So I decided, OK, I'm going to
be I'm going to make this the best experience ever.
I'm going to work super hard in my career and achieve incredible
(18:25):
things. I am going to work out like
crazy and get the best body. I'm going to give everything to
my relationships and I'm going to go out all the time, La La,
la, la, la. And this kept going for quite a
few years until my body started to send warning signs.
But I was feeling more exhausted.
I was getting headaches, I was getting a lot of stomach issues,
(18:47):
digestion issues, and I was becoming more and more unhappy.
But I ignored that. And my intuition was flashing
the lights, saying something's not right.
These people are not the people you're supposed to be with,
like, you know. But I didn't want to listen to
that. So I kept going.
I kept pushing until eventually my body collapsed into burnout.
And this burnout lasted two, almost three years, took three
(19:13):
years to fully recover from. And I lost everything I had
worked so hard for. Relationship was gone, career
was gone, home was gone, social circle gone, health was gone.
I I couldn't walk to the end of the street like this is how
intense it was. My nervous system had been under
so much stress and pressure thatI couldn't listen to music for
(19:34):
about a year. I couldn't walk into a store for
six months because the lights and the colors and the people,
Oh my God. So I really, really collapsed.
And I remember being on my yoga mat in child's pose, and for the
first time, I could really hear my body.
My body was leading with me. And she asked me, why is it
(19:55):
never enough? Why don't you love me?
Why are you always pushing me sohard?
And in that moment, I made a promise to my body.
I said, OK, from now on I'm going to listen to you and you
and I are going to do this together.
And that was the beginning of melearning to really listen to my
(20:16):
body, to honor my body, to respect my body, and just to
understand how my energy actually works.
And so from my burnout, the onlything I knew was I cannot go
back to the my corporate job. That's no longer an option.
So when I asked myself, what do I really want to do, it was I
want to teach people to love their bodies and to be in their
(20:39):
bodies and to have a relationship where they're not
pushing themselves and criticizing themselves and
beating themselves up all the time, but just really caring for
themselves on a deep somatic level.
And so I started teaching yoga. I used yoga as a tool to help
people to connect to what they were feeling.
(21:00):
And that evolved into coaching and mentorship, into nervous
system regulation, into energy work, into all sorts of
modalities. But yeah, that is the the basis
of all of my work is that connection to the body, because
that really saved my life to bring myself back to my body.
(21:21):
And even though burnout was the most painful, excruciating
experience of my life, I am so grateful because it was the
ultimate lesson of you cannot ignore your body.
You cannot treat it like a machine because it's just not.
I realized we didn't define burnout because this is such
(21:41):
your experience. I think you can speak to it so
eloquently because burnout is something that we, it's very
poorly understood, even more stigmatized and people actually,
it probably doesn't look or feellike what people think it does.
This is not being tired. This is not being overwhelmed.
Can you give us a really good idea of what burnout actually
(22:04):
is? So burnout is essentially a
physical, mental and emotional collapse in your body.
So if we, if we look at the nervous system and we imagine
that there for simplicity's sake, there are three main
levels. So level 1, we're regulated,
right? We, we're relaxed in our body,
we feel safe. This is where we feel creative,
(22:27):
where we connect to other people, where we're happy.
This is where we want to live. This is the good stuff.
Then if we move to level 2, thisis where your nervous system
gets activated into fight or flight.
It senses danger and danger to our bodies.
It doesn't matter if it's a deadline or if it's a tiger
coming to RIP our faces off, OK,it's the same thing.
So our body can't differentiate between stress that is not life
(22:51):
threatening and stress that is. And so when we get activated
into this fight or flight, cortisol pump pumps through,
adrenaline pumps through, and all our energy goes into our
muscles so we can fight for our lives or run for our lives.
Brilliant system. However, we're not supposed to
stay here. And in our modern world, a lot
(23:12):
of people are living in this fight or flight state that the
level of stress becomes their new normal.
And because all that energy is going into your muscles, the
other functions in your body arenot working optimally.
Your immune system is not working optimally, your
digestion is not your hormones. All of that is being sacrificed
(23:34):
to save you, right? We got to run away from the
tiger. And your body is incredibly
resilient. So we can stay there for quite a
long time, but at some point, our body just starts to break
down. It cannot hold that tension or
that stress for so long. Our batteries, if you will,
start to drain. And then we go into Level 3,
(23:55):
which is kind of this dorsal state.
It's in the wild. If the tiger has gotten us, we
go numb, right? We're preparing for death.
It's like the body is saying, I cannot fight this anymore.
I surrender. I don't feel anything.
Just eat me. Eat, let the tiger.
And so what's happening is in that sense of burnout, you've
(24:17):
become incredibly numb emotionally and mentally.
So anything that used to give you joy, you don't feel joy, you
don't feel anything. In fact, the only thing I could
do was cry because I had no ideawho I was.
I cannot emotionally connect to other people.
I don't care about anything, right?
(24:38):
Like there's, there's, there's no, there's a sense of failure
and detachment and being alone in the world and that nothing
else matters. Nothing matters.
Everything's pointless. But at the same time, your body
is not only in this state of collapse, it's still.
Stressed. Because that's level 2, right?
So in that healing process, whatwe do is we kind of dip down
(24:58):
into fight or flight. We feel all that stress again
and then we go back up into thatLevel 3 and we're just kind of
here and we need to get down to that level 1 where we're healthy
and happy. Burnout is really hard for
people to understand because on the outside you look normal, but
you don't have the energy, you don't have the willpower.
(25:21):
Your body cannot function anymore.
It's fought the battle for so long and your, your energy is
done. It's, it's empty.
And so in that healing process, because it takes so long to
heal, that energy might recharge.
You might sleep for a bit and OK, I have a bit of energy, but
then anything you do takes energy again.
You're back to square one. That's why it takes so long to
(25:44):
heal. And our society, our culture
expects us to get over burnout the way we get over a cold or
the flu, right? I, I have people and I'm like,
how, how long have you been on burnout leave three months, six
months and they want me to come back to work.
I'm like, you're not ready. You can't you, you will crash
even more. They are not going to get the
results they want from you. We don't understand that burnout
(26:08):
is not just like a flu symptom. Burnout is a result of years of
pushing yourself to the extreme.And it's your body saying, babe,
I am done. I can't, I, I don't have any
more to give and that takes a really long time to heal and
it's a very painful experience. If you have associated your
(26:30):
sense of self worth with what you achieve or this need to
prove yourself or you're a perfectionist or anything like
that, it can be devastating to realize it.
It can feel like a failure and it can feel like your body has
betrayed you. Yeah, or, and I think that this,
I've, I've heard people say thislike you would never ask someone
(26:51):
to walk on a broken leg, but we're asking people to go back
to work or go back to normal life with a broken body
essentially. Like your your spirit is broken
down. Yeah.
And that that surprises people. I think it takes you because
we're so used to being able as to especially as if you're able
(27:13):
bodied adult, you can pretty much do anything.
This level of breakdown is disconcerting at best.
It takes you completely by surprise.
Yeah, And I don't think people understand how extreme it is
because I've heard people talking like, oh, I had a
burnout and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Oh, I'm feeling burnt out. And la, la, la, la, like, that's
(27:34):
different. That's tired.
That's exhaustion. OK, that's fine.
But burnout is you're done. Like this is very extreme.
And I don't think it's being taken.
I don't think people are realizing how extreme it is.
Yeah, it's, it's, it's intense. Yeah.
And do you think that when people say they're tired, that
(27:54):
that's really good to recognize that's you're on your way to a
burnout. Maybe you're not in a full
burnout, but you you're on your way.
It's good to recognize that you feel like you might be burning
out. And so those are often the signs
we we ignore or maybe that's what they're signaling.
But when you're in a burnout, it's it is, it's like giving
birth. You are either giving or you're
(28:16):
pregnant or not pregnant. There is a time when you are and
undeniably burned out. I mean, that's, that's the thing
that's very, I think that part is very poorly misunderstood.
There's the road to burn out andthen there there is a full
burnout. And maybe it looks a little bit
different for everybody, but there are certain signs and
certain hallmarks of having a burnout.
(28:37):
Thank you for explaining that. Because I think that full body
experience is poorly initiated. And we do this at work.
Like this is often talked about at work.
But in my experience, my own personal experience, which I
don't talk about very often, is I had a a burnout in motherhood.
And that is from, from my own personal experience, a whole
(28:57):
level different level of devastation and that I had to
map it on to what others were experiencing in the workplace.
But I mapped it onto my experience having being a highly
sensitive woman with three kids under 5 doing an international
move that was not and remodelinga house.
Like those were not things you should do all at once.
(29:20):
Those all of that is incredibly stressful for your nervous
system, especially moving right like to a new place that's out
of your familiar comfort zone and that anything out of your
comfort zone is threatening to your subconscious, to your
nervous system, to your body. So go moving to a new place.
Your body is already on edge. Where's the tiger?
(29:40):
Where's the tiger? Oh my God, renovations in your
house. You cannot come home to where
you normally feel safe. So you have people walking
around, there's noise, there's mess, so you cannot ground into
that safety. So again, you're on edge.
And then to be responsible for three young children who are
constantly demanding your attention and your time it
that's, that's a lot to ask for yourself.
(30:01):
I'm not surprised at all that you experienced that.
Really. It's very intense.
So my entry into somatic work was me going I can't feel
anything. Is that normal to have?
Is it normal to have panic attacks?
And it this woman was just like what?
No, but it. Was.
I think my wish is for women especially to know that this can
(30:22):
happen even if you're not pushing hard at work, if you're
denying your your nervous systemor pushing yourself and not
listening to that intuition thatsays I cannot do any more
despite being asked to do more. This is not just about work for
now. From from my perspective, it's
any time you're not honoring whoyou are, what your nervous
(30:43):
system is about, the knowledge that you're already being too
asked too much and living in a world built environment that may
not work for you. These are all it's impossible at
any time, work or no work. Absolutely.
And exactly like you said, we tend to focus on work, but I
know women who have burnt out from caring for their parents or
someone who was sick in their life.
(31:04):
All of the pressure and stress that comes with that, from
emotional things, from really intense breakups, from having to
move internationally, like theseare all huge stressors that we
don't actually acknowledge. We just assume everybody should
just get on with it and keep moving forward.
And the feedback I hear all the time is I feel like I'm failing.
(31:24):
I feel like I'm weak. I feel like there's something
wrong with me that I can't handle this obscene amount of
stress, you know, because we've made it normal and it's not
normal. And so like you said, giving
yourself that grace and being like, OK, I need to, I need to
prioritize my well-being becauseotherwise I cannot show up for
the people in my life or for my job or for anyone.
(31:47):
That's the thing. Like burnout cost me two years
of my life. I could, I couldn't be a friend.
I couldn't work. I couldn't.
I couldn't do anything. Yeah, and that's the ultimate
thing. And it's really difficult
because actually everything is telling you you should be able
to do this. I guess.
There's no, there's no, no one unless you hire a coach or go,
(32:07):
you know, see someone telling you these are your body's signs
telling you that warning or those warning shots that you
were talking about. So talk about those a little bit
if you wouldn't mind. Are there common warning
signals? Because no one's going to be
watching this for you. You're watching out for yourself
unless you're working with a coach like you, which I hope
everyone can. What are some of the early
warning signs that people can start looking at?
Because we are A, not taught to trust our intuition.
(32:30):
B, we're being asked too much already.
A lot's being expected. And as international people,
sensitive people, like all theseextras, what can people watch
out for? And and I hate I know you and I
can go beyond self-care, right? So tell let's get into it.
Like what are these? How do we start listening to our
body? OK, so your body is going to be
(32:53):
the first to tell you This is why your body is so amazing.
Yes, of course feeling tired. But there's a difference between
feeling tired and feeling drained most time.
Yeah, yes. That feeling like you, you feel
like you weigh 1000 kilos and you're dragging yourself out of
bed and everything is like, Oh my God.
(33:14):
Like, OK, I, I need like 5 cups of coffee to just to get through
my day. Like that is your, your body is
telling you I really need rest Physically, things like a lot of
headaches, migraines, stomach issues, being unable to sleep
and, and to rest, getting sick alot is also because your immune
system is lowered because you'reunder so much stress.
(33:35):
So these things in your body arealready starting to flash the
signal, right? But we also have emotional
signs. And these are feelings like this
sense of failure, like no matterwhat I do, I'm failing or I'm
falling behind or I'm pushing this massive boulder uphill and
I just, I can't get to where I want to be.
(33:56):
Feeling helpless, feeling trapped, feeling defeated,
feeling like you have no support, that you're alone,
feeling like, you know, there's,there's no joy.
I'm not satisfied by anything. I'm just kind of going through
the motions. Like where, where is the dua de
vivre? Where's the, you know, the juice
(34:16):
of life that I'm enjoying myself.
And a lot of the time, people will actually start to withdraw
from their social circle. They'll start to isolate
themselves. They will use food or drugs or
alcohol to cope. So if you find that every night
after work, you're like going through the wine, you know, it's
a way to kind of numb yourself and try to deal with those
(34:38):
feelings of stress. People can become really
reactive and, you know, like really easily frustrated and
easily angry. Or they could just sort of
start, you can see that they're starting to get depressed and
they're starting to just they'restarting to shut down, right?
The light in their eyes is starting to disappear.
I remember so well after I had been healing, I was sitting with
(34:58):
my family and everyone turned tome at the same time and went
there she is, you're back. Like it was like you.
I had completely lost myself. And I, I don't understand how
that was. But from the outside, they could
clearly see. And they said it was so strange.
It happened so gradually. But now that you see.
Oh, yeah, no, this is who you are.
This is, this is your old self back.
(35:18):
So. So these are signs that your
body is kind of flashing the signal.
It's too much. You need to set a boundary.
You need to slow down, you need to start saying no.
You need to stop right? And and you need to start
managing this. And this is really hard.
Like the things to watch out foris if you are someone who, like
(35:39):
I said before, is a perfectionist, is a high
achiever, is trying to prove themselves, is trying to gain
your sense of self worth by whatyou achieve.
You are much like more likely toburn out because that belief
keeps driving you even though when your body is saying no.
Yeah, and I think it's really important to recognize these
things about yourself and acceptthem.
(36:00):
Don't just go. Don't, don't be driven by that.
It's like, no, I'm driven by that.
Now. I need to take care of myself
differently. Maybe I'll change my belief, but
in the meantime, until then, realize that you're driven by
this and take care of yourself accordingly.
I remember when I realized that maybe I was going through a
burnout and I was doing this on my own, right.
There was no coaches talking about this yet.
(36:22):
I remember going, I'm going to have to have a slow, like slow
release, nervous breakdown. That's how I describe it, like
I'm going to detonate in slow motion because I don't.
I have three tiny children. I have a lot of responsibility.
And so I pieced together the support I needed and in a very
like organic way by just going one step, then the next step,
(36:46):
just following my own internal compass of like the belief was I
don't need to feel this way. This is not inevitable.
And that is what got me through.It's not inevitable that I feel
this way. Just because I have 3 kids, just
because I live abroad, just because I'm not working and I
really want to be working, it doesn't mean this is inevitable.
(37:08):
And so that belief that this is not inevitable is something that
women don't have. And I'm, it makes me incredibly
angry that women don't have thisinner knowing that this is not
inevitable. This is not the the outcome that
has to be your life. And so is that a place to start
for some people? Absolutely.
(37:29):
A lot of the work I do is as actually showing women that you
can achieve your goals, you can create the success that you
want. You can still be high achieving,
but you don't have to sacrifice your well-being.
You're able to actually do both.And the more that you care for
your body, actually the more successful you will become.
(37:49):
And so also realizing that you don't have to suffer so much,
right? You don't have to sacrifice
everything that you have and andbe miserable every day as you.
Push. Through this life like just to
realize you can actually approach this in a different way
and still get the result that you want.
(38:09):
Yeah, yeah. And, and I think if I'm honest,
this is the most revolutionary thing in the world, this idea.
I think that this is life and world changing.
This idea. Like, I cannot tell you how much
of my life mission is this idea because I think it will
fundamentally change the entire world.
So when women realize this, and this isn't us saying you can
(38:35):
have it all, that is not what we're saying.
Because as it all is right now, you can't.
Well, also do you want to? But there's more options.
There's there's what's laid out in front of us, which is hats
off to anyone who's living theirlife and they're satisfied in
it. That is amazing.
(38:55):
If you are killing it at work, killing it at home, killing it
in a relationship, your life is exactly please keep doing that.
But that is not that is not the only option.
And that's not the only way to lead way to succeed way to even
make the exact same bank account.
Like if you want your bank account to be this and this,
(39:16):
there are thousands if not millions of ways to do that.
There's not just one. And by following your own inner
compass and, and limits, that is, there's then millions of
ways to get to where you want togo.
Yeah, that's my do it your way. Yeah.
That is my genuine belief in life.
(39:38):
And if women do that, yeah, if women do that, the entire world
will change. Absolutely.
It's so interesting because I was speaking actually to one of
my clients about leadership and when I work with people, I love
to dive into their human design and check out their energy and
all that sort of thing. And I said to her, there's a lot
of energy here around leadership.
(39:59):
And she said, Oh no, no, I can'tbe a leader.
And I was like, interesting why?And it was because she had these
examples of where leadership wasvery male dominated and it was
done in a certain way that really didn't feel good for her.
And I was saying to her, I'm like, yeah, but you get to be a
leader in your way, using your strengths, that actually your
(40:19):
sensitivity and your empathy andyour willingness to really
listen to people and make them feel seen and heard.
Like that is so valuable to havein a team, right?
That's a different way of leading that all of us are
really craving because we're in a burnout epidemic, right?
Like the the old capitalist ideas of productivity over
everything doesn't work. It's not sustainable for our
(40:42):
planet and it's not sustainable for us.
So finding a different way to actually use your body, use
these softer skills, use your energy, use your uniqueness and
your sensitivity. This is what we need.
We're going into this new paradigm and it's very exciting.
Yeah, it's exciting. And I would like to say all of
us have tried. It's not like we were like, no,
(41:03):
This is why I think we're seeingthis epidemic in my opinion is
because we all tried. We did the thing.
We tried it. We took.
Yeah, we did what we were told, right?
Everyone, like especially from early work, really, really hard
and you'll be successful. If that were true, then the
hardest working people like teachers or factory workers or
whatever would be millionaires. And they're not right?
Like so it's not that hard. It's not not to work hard, of
(41:27):
course, but it's not that hard. Work is the answer.
And by working more and harder and longer, you will get to
where you want to go. It's not the case.
Yeah, yeah. And you mentioned human design.
You mentioned you use a lot of different modalities, which for
me, these are all modalities that were seen as kind of fringe
or frivolous or whatever. And now they're starting to get
(41:52):
people more serious about these things.
These are things that are seen and unseen.
They're tapping into your intuition.
They're tapping into maybe different energetics of people.
And I think that that is something that is really,
really, really powerful. Even if like my my husband of 20
years, he did not. He was not on board with these
(42:12):
things to begin with until he started to see them as ways of
tapping into your intuition where you can still say that
doesn't resonate. These are not the same things as
saying ones and zeros, right? These are these are these are
tools to help you tap into the unseen.
These things that are like somatics that we don't, they're
very poorly misunderstood, but they are very, very much
(42:34):
affecting our everyday and our energy levels and our ability to
be effective in the world, the way the world needs us to be.
And so I think that using those modalities, at least for me,
became very important, not instead of maybe, you know,
seeing a psychologist or any of these other things, but
augmenting and learning this newskill of my body, of my
(42:56):
intuition and giving it its due.That was kind of my my Rd.
towards them. And, and just adding those to
the mix was really important forme.
That's my approach to life always.
But I wish that more people could have access I guess.
Yeah, because so many of these tools and modalities are just
(43:16):
ways to connect you deeper to your body, exactly as you said,
and connect you to your intuition.
And if you have that healthy, strong connection to that inner
guidance, it will it will changeyour life.
Your body will show you. Go this way.
Follow this passion, quit this job, go for this, you know, be
with these people, don't be withthose people like be in this
(43:37):
environment, not that one. It will show you what is right
for you and it will never let you down and so.
It's really helpful. To build that self trust because
we are all so unique and just allowing yourself to do things
in your own unique way. Yep, my personal favorite is
simply just recognizing that you're doing the thing your body
(43:58):
doesn't want to do is a good first step.
Like I hear you not doing it. I hear you that I should quit my
job. Noted.
I'm not going to do that today, though.
So I think it can be much more. I think at least when I was
learning about this, I was like,that seems so extreme, but the
steps don't have to be extreme. The steps can be very, very,
(44:18):
very, like I said, slow motion, nervous breakdown.
That was what I was after, right?
Slow motion, nervous breakdown. Some people can blow up their
lives and that is amazing, but that is not the only way to to
avoid having a burnout or getting into a life that doesn't
suit you. So how does this work when
someone, if someone is resonating with this so much and
(44:40):
with what you're bringing forward today, what does how do
they work with you? Like, what does it look like to
work with with you like a somatic coach as a woman who's
very ambitious because these things, sometimes these softer
things don't always go together.They tell you, oh, don't, don't
have so much ambition. That's what's burning you out.
And it's like, actually, no, howcan we marry these things?
(45:03):
What does that look like to workwith you, Alicia?
Yeah, So it's exactly what you said.
It's not black or white. It's that beautiful Gray in the
middle of how to bring these twothings together.
You don't have to sacrifice yourambition.
It's more of making it sustainable in your body and
having the support of your body to get you there, right?
Because if your ambition is burning you out, you're not
(45:25):
going to get to where you want to go, right?
Like that's just not going to work.
So what it's like to work with me is we create a container of a
few months and we have sessions where we use a variety of
different modalities to essentially connect you to your
body. And I've had clients who are
like, I, I've never done this before.
I don't even know what to feel, you know, like I'm completely
(45:48):
disconnected and I've had clients who are very easily
connected. So don't let it scare you.
We always go at your body's paceand nothing you do is wrong.
And we just kind of see with howyour goals, where your goals
are, but also where your body isand basically how to align your
body so that those goals are more achievable.
(46:09):
So there's a lot of nervous system regulation and practices
that you can put into your dailylife to make sure that you're
not getting stressed, you're notgetting overwhelmed, you're not
getting, you know, overthinking and full of anxiety.
You can, you know, everything's OK and building that.
Am I just in yourself? I.
Just want to say you're doing itbased on their charts, their
(46:30):
preferences. This is a completely, it's like
you're taking, you're learning about your own body like it's,
there's no two alike. And so you're helping people
guide their lives based on theirnervous system and their goals
and their charts. Whatever you're using, if it's
human design, if it's tarot, if it's whatever, whatever you're
(46:51):
bringing to the table, this is atotally customized experience of
coaching. Sometimes coaching is like Kate,
like these are your goals, I'll help you get to them.
Coaching is always a good idea, but this is the next level,
which is what I want people to understand is this is really
going into your body in a very meaningful and personalized way
(47:12):
in order to then externalize what you want in the.
World and this in out. Yeah.
And this I cannot tell everyone listening and I want to just
give this to you, that this is incredibly powerful, incredibly
life giving, incredibly aligned with how women's bodies work,
even if they are more on the masculine side.
(47:34):
This is, in my opinion, world changing work you're doing.
Thank you so much. Yeah, it's exactly that.
Like I, I say to my clients, there isn't one-size-fits-all.
I don't believe in that. And so really every client has
their own. I create an approach that is
going to work for them, which iswhy I there's such a deep
process of not only going through your human design, but
(47:56):
understanding your body, understanding your beliefs,
understanding how your mind works, understanding your
lifestyle, understanding what itis that you want and what you're
afraid of. All of that.
So that I can can go deep and use the tools that are going to
that are going to work for you. So yeah, it's incredibly
rewarding because I just want tosee women thrive.
I think women are amazing. I just want to see them thrive.
(48:17):
They've been busting their assesfor so long.
They it's time they get to feel good and do what they want to
do. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. And your own burnout LED you to
this, which is actually, I mean,I just want to cry with how
powerful that is because you aredenying your own sensitivity,
your own all of this stuff. And now look what you're able to
(48:39):
do for people. Like imagine you hadn't tapped
into that. That's why I'm so grateful for
it, because my body really said OK.
The way you're living, the way you're thinking, the way you're
operating, it doesn't work. Stop, start again.
Let's just start again. And I remember I just thinking
like, I don't want anyone to go through this.
(49:01):
I don't want anyone to experience what I've been
through. It is so deeply painful.
And so if I can prevent that in some way, or even if someone has
been through burnout, to not go again, because I have met
people, they're like, Oh yeah, I've burnt out twice.
And I'm like, did you not learn the lesson the first time?
Like OK, come talk to me because.
It's something that's some of usneed to learn lessons multiple
(49:22):
times. Yes.
I'm pointing at myself. Yes, but that's the why we need
to do that deep inner work of like, what is driving you to
push yourself so intensely and essentially abuse your body?
Yep, that's or your nature abuseyour nature or your.
Yeah. Is that in a way what you're
guiding people through? Because a burnout is one way to
(49:45):
get in touch and it's a redirectif if you let it or if you if
you have the privilege of makingit that.
But are you guiding people essentially through what they
would go through in a burnout byreassessing, by listening to
their bodies? Not that they're going to go
through a burnout, but more thatyou're doing the work that's
often a burnout requires of you for not to happen again.
(50:08):
I would say it depending where they are in their journey.
I will definitely explain the warning signs when I see them
coming up. But yes, they're doing
essentially that deeper work that I needed to do to heal.
Because the thing they don't tell you about burnout is you
are not, you're never going to be the same.
And that's a really good thing because the way you were living
(50:31):
wasn't working. And something has to deeply
shift in your life, in your approach, in the way that you
see yourself in the things that you value about yourself.
Something has to shift so that you can, it's so strange, Become
actually more you, if that makessense.
Because like, if I think of me pre burnout, I was running on
(50:53):
all of those things. Society tells us success looks
like this, you know, like happiness looks like this.
Push, push, go, go. Ignore, you know, become this
mold. Be like everyone else.
Ignore everything about yourself.
And now I feel more myself than I ever have because I've really
tapped into who I am with that relationship with my body.
(51:13):
Yeah. And you're doing now incredibly
important work in the world. Like I said, I have incredible
passion for what you're doing. And I'm so, so happy you could
share some of this today. I want to be mindful of your
time because we're actually, I could talk to you forever, but
is there anything else that I you want to say or bring to the
table before we show people how to contact you?
(51:35):
Just listen to your body and love her.
I know you've been raised in a society that tells you that you
need to be smaller or thinner oryou know in any which way or
younger or lifted or whatever itis.
But just to start to have incredible appreciation for
everything that your body does for you every single day, from
(51:59):
your heart beating to your food being digested to, you know,
your cells multiplying and nutrients going where they need
to go. You live in an incredibly
intelligent, beautiful, powerful, amazing body.
And this is your home. And we got to we got to make
sure that your home is a wonderful place to live.
(52:21):
I love that so much. I love that so much.
Best way people are going to be inundating you after this.
So I want to mention you do havea podcast as well.
I do, yes. And you were going to come on
there. Which I'm so excited about.
Yeah, me too. I'm I'm really excited.
But tell us, tell us about that.And then how people can most
easily reach you or most effectively reach you?
So my podcast is called Alicia Inspired Success without
(52:45):
Sacrificing well-being. You can find it on Spotify,
iTunes, Amazon, all the places. And in this podcast I've got,
it's a combination of solo episodes and guest episodes and
we really talk about creating anamazing life and how to do that
using your body, using your skills, learning to love
(53:05):
yourself, things like that. So there's lots of wonderful
topics on there also about stress release and healing from
burnout. And actually I had someone say
to me, thank you so much for your burnout episodes because
now I understand what my friend is going through and that
touched me so much that that shenow has to support someone who
understands better and can support her.
(53:26):
That just made me so happy. Yes.
And so if you want to get in contact with me, Alicia inspired
is my name on Instagram and my website aliciainspired.com.
You can come, just come start a chat.
I'd love to hear what you thought of this episode as well.
And yeah, you are so welcome to come into my world.
I'd love to support you. Amazing.
(53:47):
I could go on and on. I love talking to you.
You're such a such a force in such a great way.
So thank you for coming on. I hope people reach out to you.
I hope they listen to the podcast if they maybe aren't
ready or can't access coaching at the moment because it is
really powerful stuff and I'm sure we'll be hearing more from
you in the future. Thank you so much.
Thank you everyone for joining us on the House of Peregrine
(54:09):
podcast. I hope you enjoyed this and
we'll see you next time. OK, that's it for today.
I hope you've enjoyed our show. For the latest insights on
living internationally, join us at houseofperegrine.com to find
out how you can connect with ourcommunity.
Let's craft our life story with intention, together.
Hi, I'm Mikkel Weber, founder and auteur of House of
Peregrine. Expat, immigrant, pioneer.
None of these were a fit, but Peregrine describes what we are
all about perfectly, those that craft their life story with
intention. I've spent the last six years in
awe of the life changing connections and stories I've
(00:23):
experienced while living abroad and believe it is time for this
adventure to be recognized, celebrated, and elevated to the
life stage that it is. Through these interviews, I hope
to connect those living internationally more deeply to
both the place they are living and with themselves and those
around them. We cover everything from
international finances and meaning making to global
(00:46):
parenting and relationships to make your time abroad more
intentional, edifying and full of beauty.
Find us at houseofperegrine.com where you can find more ways to
connect with the ethos of Peregrine.
I hope you enjoy today's guest. Let's get started.
Welcome back to the House of Peregrine podcast, where we
explore new ways of living, leading and belonging while
(01:09):
abroad. Today I'm joined by Alicia in
Grouper, A somatic empowerment coach who helps sensitive,
driven women overcome self doubtand burnout so they can lead
with confidence and ease. After her own 2 year burnout,
Alicia rebuilt her life by working with her body, not
against it. Now she helps others to do the
same. I'm excited to bring this
conversation to you today because it is a very delicate
(01:30):
and often misunderstood subject.Burnout is something that until
you do it, you just don't know what it's all about.
And I bring up things today thatI have never talked about before
on my own journey. I hope you enjoy it.
I hope it can help those out there that might be wondering or
supporting someone who might be in or experiencing a burnout.
And also, I hope that it brings new awareness around leadership,
(01:54):
women, and sensitivity. Thank you so much for joining me
today, Alicia. Welcome, Alicia.
I cannot tell you how excited I am to speak with you today.
Thank you so much for inviting me into this space.
I'm so excited to be here. I knew I wanted to speak to you
when you use the word somatic and burnout in the same
(02:15):
sentence. And then you threw in a couple
other things like yoga and things that I love.
And so I knew that you have a deep understanding of something
that I find really, really sometimes missing in our our
mental health discussions. So the body.
Yeah. So why don't you quickly
introduce yourself? And then I want to jump.
And I'm guilty of always wantingto jump right in because I'm so
(02:35):
excited to talk to people. But why don't you introduce
yourself first? All right, not a problem.
So hello everyone, my name is Alicia.
I have a company called Alicia Inspired and I am a somatic
empowerment coach for women and I support women in becoming
their most confident selves by using their bodies so that they
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can achieve what they want without burning themselves out,
which is a huge part to not overwhelm and not become too
anxious. Yeah.
And, and that this is such a massive topic, but it's actually
really specific. It's actually really simple when
you break it down. Would you, would I say it
correctly that fundamentally women's bodies need different
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things than than maybe are required in our built
environment right now? Absolutely.
So, so much of the research in medical professionals were based
on men's bodies. So everything from the amount of
sleep we've been told that we need, everything has been based
on a man's body. And a man's body has very
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different hormones than a woman's body.
And so now there is research starting to come out that is
prioritizing Women's Health and just showing that our bodies
work completely differently and we need things, we need to
approach things differently for our happiest and healthiest
lives. So everything from needing more
(03:58):
hours of sleep, from needing more warmth in a room, our
bodies get colder much faster from the way that we approach
exercise and approach food. And how we deal with stress is
very different when it compare, when we compare men and women,
especially if we're talking to sensitive women.
Yeah. And I want to get into that your
work there and your specialization there.
(04:20):
But first I wanted to say something about leadership.
So this, this not only we need different things, but we produce
different things. We produce things differently
and that can come through in leadership, which something is
near and dear to my heart actually, because after spending
ten years in advertising is a freelance film director that's a
very male dominated field, usingmy body like a man would have or
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expecting myself to perform in the same way, using the same
skills, cultivating the same leadership style.
And this is a subject that's near and dear to my heart.
And so I really love exploring this.
So there's so many things. And then you have a specialty in
sensitive people. So yeah, why don't we start with
some definitions for people of how you define these things?
(05:04):
So let's start with somatic. So somatic basically means of
the body. So when we talk about somatic
work, it means that we are usingthe body in some way to feel
deeper into our experience and to rewire or reprogram something
that we're carrying physically in our bodies.
So our bodies are incredibly intelligent creatures and we our
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body remembers everything that we have ever experienced, as
well as what has been experienced through our
ancestral line. So there's a lot of really cool
research that shows that trauma can be passed down through
generations, just through DNA. It's really powerful.
So there are things in our body that our conscious mind is not
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always aware of, but our subconscious mind is linked to
our body really deeply. So when we start to work with
our body, we can actually tap into the subconscious mind and
into forms of healing that we wouldn't be able to access just
using our rational minds. And this can look like movement
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based therapy, breath work, embodiment, using voice and
expression. There's lots of different ways
this can happen, but it's a really, really, really, really,
really powerful mode of healing.And I feel that this is what's
been missing from a lot of mind based therapies.
I have so many clients that cometo me and say, OK, I went into
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therapy, I understand why I feelthis way.
I know where it comes from. I understand my patterns, but I
still feel anxious. I don't feel different in my
body. And it's because we're missing
that element of actually workingwith the body to release stress
and trauma and to regulate yourself so that you feel safe
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and you feel confident in yourself.
And it brings you in congruence,right?
That that mind body connection, you don't have to know what
you're moving somatically necessarily for it to move, but
it brings you in a more coherentway, which it strikes me your
work is a little bit this way. So you're coming in congruence
with your body. And also if you're working with
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women, with the way women's bodies need to work.
So let's discuss that a little bit.
So somatically we are, you know,there there's a way of healing,
like you said, traditional talk therapy.
If you're having trouble in yourlife or even hitting blocks
about what you getting, what youwhere you want to go, could
somatic work can really be the missing link, especially.
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I mean, I don't know if it's especially for women, but what
I've noticed is women actually needless.
Maybe, and maybe for whatever reason, I don't know, men do
too. But speaking from my own
experience, somatic work is extremely powerful.
And so then if you are coming into concurrence as a woman, how
does that look? How is that different when we
start to recognize that we actually lead differently, need
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differently things? The world has so far not been
made for us. We've actually been operating at
a disadvantage with the built world.
How does that stack on top? It's really interesting because
as women we've grown up in a male dominated world.
The world is designed to supportmen and so a lot of women have
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been suppressing their natural feminine energy.
Everyone has both masculine and feminine, but they've
suppressing their feminine energy to essentially show up as
men with this idea that I have to do things like men to be
successful in my career, to achieve certain things.
And our society in general viewsthe feminine energy, the
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feminine aspect, as weak, as frivolous and as unimportant.
But for women especially, we have this feminine energy.
And the more that we can live with our feminine energy and
really tap into that, actually the healthier our bodies are.
Our bodies are going to be because we're feminine beings,
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right? Whether you identify as feminine
or not. So feminine energy is about
really being present, really being able to feel and
experience whatever sensations are coming through.
Feminine energy is about creativity and being able to
connect to other people. It's very heart lead.
And I always say the difference between masculine, feminine
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energy. If you're in your masculine
energy, you read a book to learnsomething.
I'm studying, I'm learning. If you're in your feminine
energy, you read a book for the pure enjoyment of reading.
No other goal, just I want to read and I enjoy this.
So being able to also live in that state calms our nervous
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system down because a lot of women when they are in their
masculine, they're very much pushing, achieving.
They've got a long To Do List. They're very stressed and being
able to come into our feminine allows our nervous system to
relax, which allows our body to heal and replenish itself, and
we feel so much better. Yeah, it's the actual recharge.
(10:14):
So I found this for myself. It's really funny that if I
don't have time to do that in the weekend, there is no
recovering for me during the week.
And that was a hard one lesson, that just reading a book in
front of the fire is my recharge.
It's not going on a trip, it's not planning more stuff at the
weekend, it's not necessarily even seeing anybody else.
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It's really being still being tapped in and enjoying something
really simple. And that that unlock has been so
key for me. But it took literally 40 years
to learn. So I'm hoping with your, what
you're doing is so that's why I'm so passionate about what
you're doing. One of the reasons.
So then we have sensitive sensitivity or people who
identify as highly sensitive. Tell me about that.
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I. Love these people 'cause I'm one
of them as well. So a highly sensitive person is
basically someone who has a reactive nervous system that
responds more intensely to outside stimuli.
So our nervous system responds to environments, to physical
sensations, to our senses, all those sort of things.
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But highly sensitive people thatresponds is more intense.
So they feel more, in the simplest of terms, they just
feel more, they feel more emotionally, they feel more
through their senses. And in a world that is very
sensory overloaded, there's a lot of noise, there's a lot of
people, there's a lot of visuals, it's moving very fast.
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This can feel pretty overwhelming, right?
Like as a sensitive person. And so a lot of the time that
sensitivity is viewed as a weakness or a limitation, like,
oh, I can't handle being social a lot.
You know, I get tired really easily or I can't watch violent
films. I, I really, it's, it's too
intense for me to watch. And I've had clients come to me
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and really be upset that they'resensitive to see that as a
weakness. But I see sensitivity as this
beautiful superpower because to be able to feel is what it means
to be alive. It's what's separating us from
the robots for now, in any case.But I mean, it's why art was
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created, right? For our capacity to feel and to
connect to other people. And you are with that
sensitivity, you are able to feel, yes, the lowest of the
lows, right? It's pretty intense and heavy.
But on the other side of the spectrum, you're also able to
feel the highest of highs, like the feelings that people take
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drugs for, right? Like that you can naturally
access. So it's really about
appreciating the sensitivity andusing it to your advantage.
So I've found, personally, my body tells me what I need to
eat, what I need to avoid, what people like.
My intuition has just gotten so strong because I've really
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embraced my sensitivity and it'sjust about being able to manage
so that you regulate your nervous system more often and
you have really strong, healthy boundaries for when things
become a little bit too much. So it's a way to navigate.
Yeah, yeah. It's it strikes me that this is
another case. It's almost like if you're a
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woman who has been in the built environment using your masculine
energy, the world is not necessarily built for us.
Not men's fault, but it's just built around men and you're
sensitive. These are layers and layers of
things. And as someone who discovered
later in life, again, that I wasalso sensitive, you think that
you are. There's something wrong with
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you. And so when you recognize and
honor this, it actually turns the entire world upside down.
Your world. You just realize you have an
extra sense almost so like everything is louder for you,
everything is stronger for you and you're like, no wonder my
body is so tired. It is brings a lot of relief to
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because when you look around andthink, why is no one else
feeling, seeing or hearing this?It makes you wonder about
yourself. It makes it makes that extra
load. And so I think that the work
you're doing as we keep narrowing it down is actually
seems really specific, but I think that it's actually more
common than we realize. Yeah, a lot of people don't
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acknowledge it because of that stigma of seeing it as weakness.
And it's it really amazes me as a sensitive person if I'm in a
space. I remember I once had to buy a
phone and I walked into the store and all over the walls
there were screens flashing films and color, and there was
music blaring like you were in anightclub.
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And I said to the guy, how can you work here?
And he's like, oh, I don't even notice.
I'm like, really? Wow.
OK, OK. You know, But that's, that's
part of his nervous system that kind of blocks all of that.
So I see I, I see that as a bit of a, a numbing thing, right?
Because you're missing out on what's actually happening in
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your environment. You're not even aware of what's
around you. And I remember once because I
feel music very, very deeply. It's a whole sensory experience.
And I played a song for someone,like, you have to listen to
this. And while this music was
playing, I could feel it throughmy body.
The emotion is coming up, like, oh, my God.
And they're just sitting there like, oh, yeah.
And I was really like, how can you not feel this?
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I'm like, yeah, it's all right. But he was really blown away by
what I was experiencing. He's like, what's happening?
I'm like, oh, you're missing out.
Like, it's actually such a gift to experience the world in this
way. At least I think really it's
much more colorful. Yeah, it has.
As of everything, it has ups anddowns, right?
Positives and negatives. Absolutely.
So you, so the last bit that youI think unintentionally
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specialize in is international people or people who are living
outside of their country. So this is yet another layer of
difference. And so with that, I want to tell
your story. Can you tell us a little bit
about your own journey and how you got to do what you're doing
today? Absolutely.
So I was born in Australia to a Dutch mother and an Austrian
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born Australian father and my father worked for the Australian
High Commission and so from the age of two years old we moved
country every three or four years.
And so growing up I was always the New Girl at school.
I always had a different accent and I was always searching for
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how to belong into these new social groups.
So it was an incredibly beautiful, amazing experience.
But as you said, there's a negative side to that.
And there was a lot of heartbreak and the pain of
losing your life and having to start over multiple times.
And so when it came to where do I want to live, I chose to live
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in Amsterdam because my mother, being Dutch, we had come back to
the Netherlands quite regularly throughout my childhood and my
teenage years to visit her family.
So for me, this felt like the most consistent and familiar
place through my upbringing. And so I had this idea in my
head of like, OK, I'm going to move to the Netherlands and I'm
going to feel like I belong. And all my cousins are there, my
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family is there. It's this is what I've been
looking for my whole life. And I grew up here and that was
not the case. And then I just realized that I
am not Dutch. Dutch people don't see me as
Dutch at all. Australian people don't see me
as Australian because I don't have the accent.
And looking for that sense of home and belonging.
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It was very disappointing to realize that that's not
something that can be found in aplace necessarily.
And so doing my best to create my dream life, I went into
OverDrive. So I decided, OK, I'm going to
be I'm going to make this the best experience ever.
I'm going to work super hard in my career and achieve incredible
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things. I am going to work out like
crazy and get the best body. I'm going to give everything to
my relationships and I'm going to go out all the time, La La,
la, la, la. And this kept going for quite a
few years until my body started to send warning signs.
But I was feeling more exhausted.
I was getting headaches, I was getting a lot of stomach issues,
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digestion issues, and I was becoming more and more unhappy.
But I ignored that. And my intuition was flashing
the lights, saying something's not right.
These people are not the people you're supposed to be with,
like, you know. But I didn't want to listen to
that. So I kept going.
I kept pushing until eventually my body collapsed into burnout.
And this burnout lasted two, almost three years, took three
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years to fully recover from. And I lost everything I had
worked so hard for. Relationship was gone, career
was gone, home was gone, social circle gone, health was gone.
I I couldn't walk to the end of the street like this is how
intense it was. My nervous system had been under
so much stress and pressure thatI couldn't listen to music for
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about a year. I couldn't walk into a store for
six months because the lights and the colors and the people,
Oh my God. So I really, really collapsed.
And I remember being on my yoga mat in child's pose, and for the
first time, I could really hear my body.
My body was leading with me. And she asked me, why is it
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never enough? Why don't you love me?
Why are you always pushing me sohard?
And in that moment, I made a promise to my body.
I said, OK, from now on I'm going to listen to you and you
and I are going to do this together.
And that was the beginning of melearning to really listen to my
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body, to honor my body, to respect my body, and just to
understand how my energy actually works.
And so from my burnout, the onlything I knew was I cannot go
back to the my corporate job. That's no longer an option.
So when I asked myself, what do I really want to do, it was I
want to teach people to love their bodies and to be in their
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bodies and to have a relationship where they're not
pushing themselves and criticizing themselves and
beating themselves up all the time, but just really caring for
themselves on a deep somatic level.
And so I started teaching yoga. I used yoga as a tool to help
people to connect to what they were feeling.
(21:00):
And that evolved into coaching and mentorship, into nervous
system regulation, into energy work, into all sorts of
modalities. But yeah, that is the the basis
of all of my work is that connection to the body, because
that really saved my life to bring myself back to my body.
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And even though burnout was the most painful, excruciating
experience of my life, I am so grateful because it was the
ultimate lesson of you cannot ignore your body.
You cannot treat it like a machine because it's just not.
I realized we didn't define burnout because this is such
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your experience. I think you can speak to it so
eloquently because burnout is something that we, it's very
poorly understood, even more stigmatized and people actually,
it probably doesn't look or feellike what people think it does.
This is not being tired. This is not being overwhelmed.
Can you give us a really good idea of what burnout actually
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is? So burnout is essentially a
physical, mental and emotional collapse in your body.
So if we, if we look at the nervous system and we imagine
that there for simplicity's sake, there are three main
levels. So level 1, we're regulated,
right? We, we're relaxed in our body,
we feel safe. This is where we feel creative,
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where we connect to other people, where we're happy.
This is where we want to live. This is the good stuff.
Then if we move to level 2, thisis where your nervous system
gets activated into fight or flight.
It senses danger and danger to our bodies.
It doesn't matter if it's a deadline or if it's a tiger
coming to RIP our faces off, OK,it's the same thing.
So our body can't differentiate between stress that is not life
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threatening and stress that is. And so when we get activated
into this fight or flight, cortisol pump pumps through,
adrenaline pumps through, and all our energy goes into our
muscles so we can fight for our lives or run for our lives.
Brilliant system. However, we're not supposed to
stay here. And in our modern world, a lot
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of people are living in this fight or flight state that the
level of stress becomes their new normal.
And because all that energy is going into your muscles, the
other functions in your body arenot working optimally.
Your immune system is not working optimally, your
digestion is not your hormones. All of that is being sacrificed
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to save you, right? We got to run away from the
tiger. And your body is incredibly
resilient. So we can stay there for quite a
long time, but at some point, our body just starts to break
down. It cannot hold that tension or
that stress for so long. Our batteries, if you will,
start to drain. And then we go into Level 3,
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which is kind of this dorsal state.
It's in the wild. If the tiger has gotten us, we
go numb, right? We're preparing for death.
It's like the body is saying, I cannot fight this anymore.
I surrender. I don't feel anything.
Just eat me. Eat, let the tiger.
And so what's happening is in that sense of burnout, you've
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become incredibly numb emotionally and mentally.
So anything that used to give you joy, you don't feel joy, you
don't feel anything. In fact, the only thing I could
do was cry because I had no ideawho I was.
I cannot emotionally connect to other people.
I don't care about anything, right?
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Like there's, there's, there's no, there's a sense of failure
and detachment and being alone in the world and that nothing
else matters. Nothing matters.
Everything's pointless. But at the same time, your body
is not only in this state of collapse, it's still.
Stressed. Because that's level 2, right?
So in that healing process, whatwe do is we kind of dip down
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into fight or flight. We feel all that stress again
and then we go back up into thatLevel 3 and we're just kind of
here and we need to get down to that level 1 where we're healthy
and happy. Burnout is really hard for
people to understand because on the outside you look normal, but
you don't have the energy, you don't have the willpower.
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Your body cannot function anymore.
It's fought the battle for so long and your, your energy is
done. It's, it's empty.
And so in that healing process, because it takes so long to
heal, that energy might recharge.
You might sleep for a bit and OK, I have a bit of energy, but
then anything you do takes energy again.
You're back to square one. That's why it takes so long to
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heal. And our society, our culture
expects us to get over burnout the way we get over a cold or
the flu, right? I, I have people and I'm like,
how, how long have you been on burnout leave three months, six
months and they want me to come back to work.
I'm like, you're not ready. You can't you, you will crash
even more. They are not going to get the
results they want from you. We don't understand that burnout
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is not just like a flu symptom. Burnout is a result of years of
pushing yourself to the extreme.And it's your body saying, babe,
I am done. I can't, I, I don't have any
more to give and that takes a really long time to heal and
it's a very painful experience. If you have associated your
(26:30):
sense of self worth with what you achieve or this need to
prove yourself or you're a perfectionist or anything like
that, it can be devastating to realize it.
It can feel like a failure and it can feel like your body has
betrayed you. Yeah, or, and I think that this,
I've, I've heard people say thislike you would never ask someone
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to walk on a broken leg, but we're asking people to go back
to work or go back to normal life with a broken body
essentially. Like your your spirit is broken
down. Yeah.
And that that surprises people. I think it takes you because
we're so used to being able as to especially as if you're able
(27:13):
bodied adult, you can pretty much do anything.
This level of breakdown is disconcerting at best.
It takes you completely by surprise.
Yeah, And I don't think people understand how extreme it is
because I've heard people talking like, oh, I had a
burnout and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Oh, I'm feeling burnt out. And la, la, la, la, like, that's
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different. That's tired.
That's exhaustion. OK, that's fine.
But burnout is you're done. Like this is very extreme.
And I don't think it's being taken.
I don't think people are realizing how extreme it is.
Yeah, it's, it's, it's intense. Yeah.
And do you think that when people say they're tired, that
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that's really good to recognize that's you're on your way to a
burnout. Maybe you're not in a full
burnout, but you you're on your way.
It's good to recognize that you feel like you might be burning
out. And so those are often the signs
we we ignore or maybe that's what they're signaling.
But when you're in a burnout, it's it is, it's like giving
birth. You are either giving or you're
(28:16):
pregnant or not pregnant. There is a time when you are and
undeniably burned out. I mean, that's, that's the thing
that's very, I think that part is very poorly misunderstood.
There's the road to burn out andthen there there is a full
burnout. And maybe it looks a little bit
different for everybody, but there are certain signs and
certain hallmarks of having a burnout.
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Thank you for explaining that. Because I think that full body
experience is poorly initiated. And we do this at work.
Like this is often talked about at work.
But in my experience, my own personal experience, which I
don't talk about very often, is I had a a burnout in motherhood.
And that is from, from my own personal experience, a whole
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level different level of devastation and that I had to
map it on to what others were experiencing in the workplace.
But I mapped it onto my experience having being a highly
sensitive woman with three kids under 5 doing an international
move that was not and remodelinga house.
Like those were not things you should do all at once.
(29:20):
Those all of that is incredibly stressful for your nervous
system, especially moving right like to a new place that's out
of your familiar comfort zone and that anything out of your
comfort zone is threatening to your subconscious, to your
nervous system, to your body. So go moving to a new place.
Your body is already on edge. Where's the tiger?
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Where's the tiger? Oh my God, renovations in your
house. You cannot come home to where
you normally feel safe. So you have people walking
around, there's noise, there's mess, so you cannot ground into
that safety. So again, you're on edge.
And then to be responsible for three young children who are
constantly demanding your attention and your time it
that's, that's a lot to ask for yourself.
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I'm not surprised at all that you experienced that.
Really. It's very intense.
So my entry into somatic work was me going I can't feel
anything. Is that normal to have?
Is it normal to have panic attacks?
And it this woman was just like what?
No, but it. Was.
I think my wish is for women especially to know that this can
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happen even if you're not pushing hard at work, if you're
denying your your nervous systemor pushing yourself and not
listening to that intuition thatsays I cannot do any more
despite being asked to do more. This is not just about work for
now. From from my perspective, it's
any time you're not honoring whoyou are, what your nervous
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system is about, the knowledge that you're already being too
asked too much and living in a world built environment that may
not work for you. These are all it's impossible at
any time, work or no work. Absolutely.
And exactly like you said, we tend to focus on work, but I
know women who have burnt out from caring for their parents or
someone who was sick in their life.
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All of the pressure and stress that comes with that, from
emotional things, from really intense breakups, from having to
move internationally, like theseare all huge stressors that we
don't actually acknowledge. We just assume everybody should
just get on with it and keep moving forward.
And the feedback I hear all the time is I feel like I'm failing.
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I feel like I'm weak. I feel like there's something
wrong with me that I can't handle this obscene amount of
stress, you know, because we've made it normal and it's not
normal. And so like you said, giving
yourself that grace and being like, OK, I need to, I need to
prioritize my well-being becauseotherwise I cannot show up for
the people in my life or for my job or for anyone.
(31:47):
That's the thing. Like burnout cost me two years
of my life. I could, I couldn't be a friend.
I couldn't work. I couldn't.
I couldn't do anything. Yeah, and that's the ultimate
thing. And it's really difficult
because actually everything is telling you you should be able
to do this. I guess.
There's no, there's no, no one unless you hire a coach or go,
(32:07):
you know, see someone telling you these are your body's signs
telling you that warning or those warning shots that you
were talking about. So talk about those a little bit
if you wouldn't mind. Are there common warning
signals? Because no one's going to be
watching this for you. You're watching out for yourself
unless you're working with a coach like you, which I hope
everyone can. What are some of the early
warning signs that people can start looking at?
Because we are A, not taught to trust our intuition.
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B, we're being asked too much already.
A lot's being expected. And as international people,
sensitive people, like all theseextras, what can people watch
out for? And and I hate I know you and I
can go beyond self-care, right? So tell let's get into it.
Like what are these? How do we start listening to our
body? OK, so your body is going to be
(32:53):
the first to tell you This is why your body is so amazing.
Yes, of course feeling tired. But there's a difference between
feeling tired and feeling drained most time.
Yeah, yes. That feeling like you, you feel
like you weigh 1000 kilos and you're dragging yourself out of
bed and everything is like, Oh my God.
(33:14):
Like, OK, I, I need like 5 cups of coffee to just to get through
my day. Like that is your, your body is
telling you I really need rest Physically, things like a lot of
headaches, migraines, stomach issues, being unable to sleep
and, and to rest, getting sick alot is also because your immune
system is lowered because you'reunder so much stress.
(33:35):
So these things in your body arealready starting to flash the
signal, right? But we also have emotional
signs. And these are feelings like this
sense of failure, like no matterwhat I do, I'm failing or I'm
falling behind or I'm pushing this massive boulder uphill and
I just, I can't get to where I want to be.
(33:56):
Feeling helpless, feeling trapped, feeling defeated,
feeling like you have no support, that you're alone,
feeling like, you know, there's,there's no joy.
I'm not satisfied by anything. I'm just kind of going through
the motions. Like where, where is the dua de
vivre? Where's the, you know, the juice
(34:16):
of life that I'm enjoying myself.
And a lot of the time, people will actually start to withdraw
from their social circle. They'll start to isolate
themselves. They will use food or drugs or
alcohol to cope. So if you find that every night
after work, you're like going through the wine, you know, it's
a way to kind of numb yourself and try to deal with those
(34:38):
feelings of stress. People can become really
reactive and, you know, like really easily frustrated and
easily angry. Or they could just sort of
start, you can see that they're starting to get depressed and
they're starting to just they'restarting to shut down, right?
The light in their eyes is starting to disappear.
I remember so well after I had been healing, I was sitting with
(34:58):
my family and everyone turned tome at the same time and went
there she is, you're back. Like it was like you.
I had completely lost myself. And I, I don't understand how
that was. But from the outside, they could
clearly see. And they said it was so strange.
It happened so gradually. But now that you see.
Oh, yeah, no, this is who you are.
This is, this is your old self back.
(35:18):
So. So these are signs that your
body is kind of flashing the signal.
It's too much. You need to set a boundary.
You need to slow down, you need to start saying no.
You need to stop right? And and you need to start
managing this. And this is really hard.
Like the things to watch out foris if you are someone who, like
(35:39):
I said before, is a perfectionist, is a high
achiever, is trying to prove themselves, is trying to gain
your sense of self worth by whatyou achieve.
You are much like more likely toburn out because that belief
keeps driving you even though when your body is saying no.
Yeah, and I think it's really important to recognize these
things about yourself and acceptthem.
(36:00):
Don't just go. Don't, don't be driven by that.
It's like, no, I'm driven by that.
Now. I need to take care of myself
differently. Maybe I'll change my belief, but
in the meantime, until then, realize that you're driven by
this and take care of yourself accordingly.
I remember when I realized that maybe I was going through a
burnout and I was doing this on my own, right.
There was no coaches talking about this yet.
(36:22):
I remember going, I'm going to have to have a slow, like slow
release, nervous breakdown. That's how I describe it, like
I'm going to detonate in slow motion because I don't.
I have three tiny children. I have a lot of responsibility.
And so I pieced together the support I needed and in a very
like organic way by just going one step, then the next step,
(36:46):
just following my own internal compass of like the belief was I
don't need to feel this way. This is not inevitable.
And that is what got me through.It's not inevitable that I feel
this way. Just because I have 3 kids, just
because I live abroad, just because I'm not working and I
really want to be working, it doesn't mean this is inevitable.
(37:08):
And so that belief that this is not inevitable is something that
women don't have. And I'm, it makes me incredibly
angry that women don't have thisinner knowing that this is not
inevitable. This is not the the outcome that
has to be your life. And so is that a place to start
for some people? Absolutely.
(37:29):
A lot of the work I do is as actually showing women that you
can achieve your goals, you can create the success that you
want. You can still be high achieving,
but you don't have to sacrifice your well-being.
You're able to actually do both.And the more that you care for
your body, actually the more successful you will become.
(37:49):
And so also realizing that you don't have to suffer so much,
right? You don't have to sacrifice
everything that you have and andbe miserable every day as you.
Push. Through this life like just to
realize you can actually approach this in a different way
and still get the result that you want.
(38:09):
Yeah, yeah. And, and I think if I'm honest,
this is the most revolutionary thing in the world, this idea.
I think that this is life and world changing.
This idea. Like, I cannot tell you how much
of my life mission is this idea because I think it will
fundamentally change the entire world.
So when women realize this, and this isn't us saying you can
(38:35):
have it all, that is not what we're saying.
Because as it all is right now, you can't.
Well, also do you want to? But there's more options.
There's there's what's laid out in front of us, which is hats
off to anyone who's living theirlife and they're satisfied in
it. That is amazing.
(38:55):
If you are killing it at work, killing it at home, killing it
in a relationship, your life is exactly please keep doing that.
But that is not that is not the only option.
And that's not the only way to lead way to succeed way to even
make the exact same bank account.
Like if you want your bank account to be this and this,
(39:16):
there are thousands if not millions of ways to do that.
There's not just one. And by following your own inner
compass and, and limits, that is, there's then millions of
ways to get to where you want togo.
Yeah, that's my do it your way. Yeah.
That is my genuine belief in life.
(39:38):
And if women do that, yeah, if women do that, the entire world
will change. Absolutely.
It's so interesting because I was speaking actually to one of
my clients about leadership and when I work with people, I love
to dive into their human design and check out their energy and
all that sort of thing. And I said to her, there's a lot
of energy here around leadership.
(39:59):
And she said, Oh no, no, I can'tbe a leader.
And I was like, interesting why?And it was because she had these
examples of where leadership wasvery male dominated and it was
done in a certain way that really didn't feel good for her.
And I was saying to her, I'm like, yeah, but you get to be a
leader in your way, using your strengths, that actually your
(40:19):
sensitivity and your empathy andyour willingness to really
listen to people and make them feel seen and heard.
Like that is so valuable to havein a team, right?
That's a different way of leading that all of us are
really craving because we're in a burnout epidemic, right?
Like the the old capitalist ideas of productivity over
everything doesn't work. It's not sustainable for our
(40:42):
planet and it's not sustainable for us.
So finding a different way to actually use your body, use
these softer skills, use your energy, use your uniqueness and
your sensitivity. This is what we need.
We're going into this new paradigm and it's very exciting.
Yeah, it's exciting. And I would like to say all of
us have tried. It's not like we were like, no,
(41:03):
This is why I think we're seeingthis epidemic in my opinion is
because we all tried. We did the thing.
We tried it. We took.
Yeah, we did what we were told, right?
Everyone, like especially from early work, really, really hard
and you'll be successful. If that were true, then the
hardest working people like teachers or factory workers or
whatever would be millionaires. And they're not right?
Like so it's not that hard. It's not not to work hard, of
(41:27):
course, but it's not that hard. Work is the answer.
And by working more and harder and longer, you will get to
where you want to go. It's not the case.
Yeah, yeah. And you mentioned human design.
You mentioned you use a lot of different modalities, which for
me, these are all modalities that were seen as kind of fringe
or frivolous or whatever. And now they're starting to get
(41:52):
people more serious about these things.
These are things that are seen and unseen.
They're tapping into your intuition.
They're tapping into maybe different energetics of people.
And I think that that is something that is really,
really, really powerful. Even if like my my husband of 20
years, he did not. He was not on board with these
(42:12):
things to begin with until he started to see them as ways of
tapping into your intuition where you can still say that
doesn't resonate. These are not the same things as
saying ones and zeros, right? These are these are these are
tools to help you tap into the unseen.
These things that are like somatics that we don't, they're
very poorly misunderstood, but they are very, very much
(42:34):
affecting our everyday and our energy levels and our ability to
be effective in the world, the way the world needs us to be.
And so I think that using those modalities, at least for me,
became very important, not instead of maybe, you know,
seeing a psychologist or any of these other things, but
augmenting and learning this newskill of my body, of my
(42:56):
intuition and giving it its due.That was kind of my my Rd.
towards them. And, and just adding those to
the mix was really important forme.
That's my approach to life always.
But I wish that more people could have access I guess.
Yeah, because so many of these tools and modalities are just
(43:16):
ways to connect you deeper to your body, exactly as you said,
and connect you to your intuition.
And if you have that healthy, strong connection to that inner
guidance, it will it will changeyour life.
Your body will show you. Go this way.
Follow this passion, quit this job, go for this, you know, be
with these people, don't be withthose people like be in this
(43:37):
environment, not that one. It will show you what is right
for you and it will never let you down and so.
It's really helpful. To build that self trust because
we are all so unique and just allowing yourself to do things
in your own unique way. Yep, my personal favorite is
simply just recognizing that you're doing the thing your body
(43:58):
doesn't want to do is a good first step.
Like I hear you not doing it. I hear you that I should quit my
job. Noted.
I'm not going to do that today, though.
So I think it can be much more. I think at least when I was
learning about this, I was like,that seems so extreme, but the
steps don't have to be extreme. The steps can be very, very,
(44:18):
very, like I said, slow motion, nervous breakdown.
That was what I was after, right?
Slow motion, nervous breakdown. Some people can blow up their
lives and that is amazing, but that is not the only way to to
avoid having a burnout or getting into a life that doesn't
suit you. So how does this work when
someone, if someone is resonating with this so much and
(44:40):
with what you're bringing forward today, what does how do
they work with you? Like, what does it look like to
work with with you like a somatic coach as a woman who's
very ambitious because these things, sometimes these softer
things don't always go together.They tell you, oh, don't, don't
have so much ambition. That's what's burning you out.
And it's like, actually, no, howcan we marry these things?
(45:03):
What does that look like to workwith you, Alicia?
Yeah, So it's exactly what you said.
It's not black or white. It's that beautiful Gray in the
middle of how to bring these twothings together.
You don't have to sacrifice yourambition.
It's more of making it sustainable in your body and
having the support of your body to get you there, right?
Because if your ambition is burning you out, you're not
(45:25):
going to get to where you want to go, right?
Like that's just not going to work.
So what it's like to work with me is we create a container of a
few months and we have sessions where we use a variety of
different modalities to essentially connect you to your
body. And I've had clients who are
like, I, I've never done this before.
I don't even know what to feel, you know, like I'm completely
(45:48):
disconnected and I've had clients who are very easily
connected. So don't let it scare you.
We always go at your body's paceand nothing you do is wrong.
And we just kind of see with howyour goals, where your goals
are, but also where your body isand basically how to align your
body so that those goals are more achievable.
(46:09):
So there's a lot of nervous system regulation and practices
that you can put into your dailylife to make sure that you're
not getting stressed, you're notgetting overwhelmed, you're not
getting, you know, overthinking and full of anxiety.
You can, you know, everything's OK and building that.
Am I just in yourself? I.
Just want to say you're doing itbased on their charts, their
(46:30):
preferences. This is a completely, it's like
you're taking, you're learning about your own body like it's,
there's no two alike. And so you're helping people
guide their lives based on theirnervous system and their goals
and their charts. Whatever you're using, if it's
human design, if it's tarot, if it's whatever, whatever you're
(46:51):
bringing to the table, this is atotally customized experience of
coaching. Sometimes coaching is like Kate,
like these are your goals, I'll help you get to them.
Coaching is always a good idea, but this is the next level,
which is what I want people to understand is this is really
going into your body in a very meaningful and personalized way
(47:12):
in order to then externalize what you want in the.
World and this in out. Yeah.
And this I cannot tell everyone listening and I want to just
give this to you, that this is incredibly powerful, incredibly
life giving, incredibly aligned with how women's bodies work,
even if they are more on the masculine side.
(47:34):
This is, in my opinion, world changing work you're doing.
Thank you so much. Yeah, it's exactly that.
Like I, I say to my clients, there isn't one-size-fits-all.
I don't believe in that. And so really every client has
their own. I create an approach that is
going to work for them, which iswhy I there's such a deep
process of not only going through your human design, but
(47:56):
understanding your body, understanding your beliefs,
understanding how your mind works, understanding your
lifestyle, understanding what itis that you want and what you're
afraid of. All of that.
So that I can can go deep and use the tools that are going to
that are going to work for you. So yeah, it's incredibly
rewarding because I just want tosee women thrive.
I think women are amazing. I just want to see them thrive.
(48:17):
They've been busting their assesfor so long.
They it's time they get to feel good and do what they want to
do. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. And your own burnout LED you to
this, which is actually, I mean,I just want to cry with how
powerful that is because you aredenying your own sensitivity,
your own all of this stuff. And now look what you're able to
(48:39):
do for people. Like imagine you hadn't tapped
into that. That's why I'm so grateful for
it, because my body really said OK.
The way you're living, the way you're thinking, the way you're
operating, it doesn't work. Stop, start again.
Let's just start again. And I remember I just thinking
like, I don't want anyone to go through this.
(49:01):
I don't want anyone to experience what I've been
through. It is so deeply painful.
And so if I can prevent that in some way, or even if someone has
been through burnout, to not go again, because I have met
people, they're like, Oh yeah, I've burnt out twice.
And I'm like, did you not learn the lesson the first time?
Like OK, come talk to me because.
It's something that's some of usneed to learn lessons multiple
(49:22):
times. Yes.
I'm pointing at myself. Yes, but that's the why we need
to do that deep inner work of like, what is driving you to
push yourself so intensely and essentially abuse your body?
Yep, that's or your nature abuseyour nature or your.
Yeah. Is that in a way what you're
guiding people through? Because a burnout is one way to
(49:45):
get in touch and it's a redirectif if you let it or if you if
you have the privilege of makingit that.
But are you guiding people essentially through what they
would go through in a burnout byreassessing, by listening to
their bodies? Not that they're going to go
through a burnout, but more thatyou're doing the work that's
often a burnout requires of you for not to happen again.
(50:08):
I would say it depending where they are in their journey.
I will definitely explain the warning signs when I see them
coming up. But yes, they're doing
essentially that deeper work that I needed to do to heal.
Because the thing they don't tell you about burnout is you
are not, you're never going to be the same.
And that's a really good thing because the way you were living
(50:31):
wasn't working. And something has to deeply
shift in your life, in your approach, in the way that you
see yourself in the things that you value about yourself.
Something has to shift so that you can, it's so strange, Become
actually more you, if that makessense.
Because like, if I think of me pre burnout, I was running on
(50:53):
all of those things. Society tells us success looks
like this, you know, like happiness looks like this.
Push, push, go, go. Ignore, you know, become this
mold. Be like everyone else.
Ignore everything about yourself.
And now I feel more myself than I ever have because I've really
tapped into who I am with that relationship with my body.
(51:13):
Yeah. And you're doing now incredibly
important work in the world. Like I said, I have incredible
passion for what you're doing. And I'm so, so happy you could
share some of this today. I want to be mindful of your
time because we're actually, I could talk to you forever, but
is there anything else that I you want to say or bring to the
table before we show people how to contact you?
(51:35):
Just listen to your body and love her.
I know you've been raised in a society that tells you that you
need to be smaller or thinner oryou know in any which way or
younger or lifted or whatever itis.
But just to start to have incredible appreciation for
everything that your body does for you every single day, from
(51:59):
your heart beating to your food being digested to, you know,
your cells multiplying and nutrients going where they need
to go. You live in an incredibly
intelligent, beautiful, powerful, amazing body.
And this is your home. And we got to we got to make
sure that your home is a wonderful place to live.
(52:21):
I love that so much. I love that so much.
Best way people are going to be inundating you after this.
So I want to mention you do havea podcast as well.
I do, yes. And you were going to come on
there. Which I'm so excited about.
Yeah, me too. I'm I'm really excited.
But tell us, tell us about that.And then how people can most
easily reach you or most effectively reach you?
So my podcast is called Alicia Inspired Success without
(52:45):
Sacrificing well-being. You can find it on Spotify,
iTunes, Amazon, all the places. And in this podcast I've got,
it's a combination of solo episodes and guest episodes and
we really talk about creating anamazing life and how to do that
using your body, using your skills, learning to love
(53:05):
yourself, things like that. So there's lots of wonderful
topics on there also about stress release and healing from
burnout. And actually I had someone say
to me, thank you so much for your burnout episodes because
now I understand what my friend is going through and that
touched me so much that that shenow has to support someone who
understands better and can support her.
(53:26):
That just made me so happy. Yes.
And so if you want to get in contact with me, Alicia inspired
is my name on Instagram and my website aliciainspired.com.
You can come, just come start a chat.
I'd love to hear what you thought of this episode as well.
And yeah, you are so welcome to come into my world.
I'd love to support you. Amazing.
(53:47):
I could go on and on. I love talking to you.
You're such a such a force in such a great way.
So thank you for coming on. I hope people reach out to you.
I hope they listen to the podcast if they maybe aren't
ready or can't access coaching at the moment because it is
really powerful stuff and I'm sure we'll be hearing more from
you in the future. Thank you so much.
Thank you everyone for joining us on the House of Peregrine
(54:09):
podcast. I hope you enjoyed this and
we'll see you next time. OK, that's it for today.
I hope you've enjoyed our show. For the latest insights on
living internationally, join us at houseofperegrine.com to find
out how you can connect with ourcommunity.
Let's craft our life story with intention, together.
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