September 18, 2024 • 37 mins
Ever wondered how a friendship can transcend time and loss? In Episode 63 of "How I Met My BFF," we sit down with Sheila Andres to explore the beautiful and enduring bond she shared with her late best friend, Sharon Santos.
Join us as we kick off the episode discussing the recent fires in California and Montana and their impact on our communities. Then, we dive deep into Sheila's heartfelt story. Sheila reminisces about meeting Sharon during their high school years and the instant connection they shared. From car rides filled with laughter to Sharon's adventurous spirit—think painting, jewelry making, and even flying planes—this friendship was anything but ordinary.
Sheila opens up about the profound loss she felt when Sharon tragically passed away 20 years ago and how Sharon's fearless approach to life continues to inspire her. We wrap up the episode reflecting on the vital role best friends play in our lives and encourage you to cherish every moment with yours.
Tune in for an emotional and uplifting conversation that will make you appreciate the magic of true friendship.
Visit our site at howimetmybff.com
Help support our show by getting some of our exclusive swag found here!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Leisa (00:01):
Hey, besties. My name is Lisa.
Tamara (00:03):
And my name is Tamara, and we're BFFs.
Leisa (00:06):
Tamara and I met when we were about 12 years old growing
up in good old Fairbanks,Alaska.
Tamara (00:11):
And we've been best friends forever since.
Leisa (00:13):
That's right. And that's why we've decided to have some
fun, friendly conversations withthe bestest of best friends.
Tamara (00:18):
We'll talk about how we became best friends, our
experiences together, and haveother best friends on the show
to share how they met. Whoknows? You never
Leisa (00:27):
know when you'll meet your next BFF.
Tamara (00:30):
Now, let's get into it, how I met my BFF.
Leisa (00:34):
Welcome to another episode of How I Met My BFF.
Hello, Tamara.
Tamara (00:40):
Hello, Lisa. How are you?
Leisa (00:43):
I am good. I had a little bit of an exciting week this
week. Well, lots of things. Butour town, Rancho Santa
Margarita, made national and, Ithink, international news. I I
don't know.
But there was a huge fire thatis still happening, but I would
(01:03):
say Monday and we have a lot offires in California right now,
and, our guests might even beaffected as well. But it was
literally, like, right outsideour our city gates, if you will.
Not gates is the right word, butborders. And some people were
evacuated. Even today, they aretrying to figure out if the
roads are open, if they can getinto their homes.
(01:24):
They've been out of their homesall week. But, luckily, there
were no homes in our area thatwere lost. The fires are still
being fought, but, they just didan amazing job of of protecting
the community with, like, thefire retardant. We've got, like,
airplanes going all week long,dropping whatever magical stuff
(01:48):
that they drop to to saveeverybody and to and to preserve
everything. So it wasdefinitely, like, my Facebook
feed was full of inferno.
I I will say that is not normal.And it's pretty freaky. Like, I
and I know you've had your ownexperience with fire, Tamara.
So, yeah. So that was definitelyexciting, although not the
(02:11):
exciting that I want.
But it was definitely happening.How about you? Because I know
you're you're you're affected byfires too, but not in that way
right now.
Tamara (02:25):
Yeah. I mean, kind of we weren't it's not right at our
well, it's about an hour southof here, but, we also have been
inundated with fires not only inMontana, but all around from
Canada to California. Yeah. Andit's been hard, this past week.
We would probably have the mostbeautiful September weather
(02:46):
ever, and it's literally youcan't even see the mountains
around Missoula because it's sosmoky.
So that's been reallyfrustrating and hard, and it's
making people not feel good andbe grumpy. So, unfortunately, we
also or I've also had to dealwith fire issues, not, like, on
the verge of evacuation, but,scary. The fires are getting
(03:12):
worse and worse, it seems. Youknow, I've been in Montana now
for 18 years, and it's just it'shard because, natural. You know?
It's the world we live in now, Iguess. But fires are scary
because you don't always get abunch of notice. You try, but it
can be hard. So And then what
Leisa (03:33):
besides fires, what else have you been doing? You've been
out, in the vineyard or no? Notso much this yet?
Tamara (03:41):
The grapes are ripening. We probably are gonna do a
harvest of one of our varietiesnext week, so that'll be fun.
And then it looks like end ofSeptember, beginning of October,
we'll do the full harvest at thevineyard. So that's exciting.
We've had, as of right now, evenwith the smoke and lack of full
sunlight, we're having somenice, sugars in our grapes.
(04:04):
So very exciting. Yeah.
Leisa (04:07):
I don't even know what any of that means, but it sounds
good. You could write a book onwine on wine vineyard making,
harvesting, all the things.
Tamara (04:17):
It's important for your the wine you like we like to
drink. Come on, Lisa.
Leisa (04:22):
I don't I don't know the intricacies of these. I just
drink the wine. I'm really,really good at that. I'm really,
really good at that. Yeah.
And on a lighter note, I,hopefully, everyone listening is
safe. But, I also had a really,really fun e women networking
meeting yesterday, and I, was ina position to where I was
leading the meeting for thefirst time because our fearless
(04:45):
leader, was unavailable thatmonth or but we had a really fun
time. And so that was that wascool. I was surrounded by 40
awesome entrepreneurial womenyesterday. So
Sheila Andres (04:58):
Oh, wow.
Leisa (04:59):
Speaking of amazing entrepreneurial women, one of
our our guests today is SheilaAndres. Hey, Sheila. Welcome to
the show.
Sheila Andres (05:08):
Hello. Hello. I know it's audio, but I'm shaking
a little bit.
Leisa (05:11):
Yeah. I'm gonna dance.
Sheila Andres (05:12):
It's Friday.
Leisa (05:14):
I almost said, oh oh, Sheila. Yep. Anyway, so so
excited to have you on the show.And I know you were gonna share
about your beautiful friend,Sharon, and your relationship
with Sharon. Do you wanna giveus a little highlight of how you
(05:35):
and Sharon met?
Sheila Andres (05:37):
Yeah. No. I really appreciate this
opportunity because, it's a timewhere it's really an epic
moment, I think. So my bestfriend is Sharon Santos. It's
been 20 years, this year of herdeath anniversary.
(06:00):
And, you know, I think back, sheunfortunately didn't make it to
31, you know. And as the yearsgo by, her sister, there's only
2 of them and I I only have onesister so we have that in
common. She celebrates herbirthday every year at her
favorite restaurant to kindahonor her. And she just reminds
(06:21):
that last year, she turned 50.You know, this year is the 20th
death anniversary.
I feel like she did 1 15. Butyou hear these numbers and
you're like, oh my gosh. Timehas gone by so fast. And that
question, like, how did I meetSharon? I was like, I I feel
like I don't even remember.
Yeah. But, what I will say isbut what does come to me is I I
(06:44):
think I met her through a mutualfriend because we didn't go to
the same school at all. But I doknow when we met, we hit it off
so well. We exchanged numbers. Imight be aging myself.
So back in the day, there was nocell phones. They were just
pagers.
Leisa (07:01):
Oh, pagers. Wow. Yeah.
Sheila Andres (07:04):
I'm not sure how we communicated, but, we
exchanged numbers. And I had acar, and when she needed a ride
home, she'd call me. So I driveout of the way to her school.
She went to private school. Iwent to a public school.
And I pick her up. And I thinkthat that's really what grew and
fostered the relationshipbecause we've been in the car.
And driving home, we chat, chitchat, always laughing and having
(07:28):
a good time.
Leisa (07:30):
Wow. Now was this in high school? So, like, I you said
you're driving, so maybe it wasa 16, 15
Sheila Andres (07:36):
years old type. I was sitting there. I'm so
embarrassed. I can't remember.The brain farts are real right
now.
They are so real. Yeah. Butdefinitely definitely high
school for sure.
Leisa (07:49):
Yeah. When did you feel like it became just different
from meeting someone and hittingit off to now we're best friends
or we're in this best friendtype of a relationship. What was
that like for you?
Sheila Andres (08:03):
You know, so I have a lot of friends, and then
there's some that I still stayin contact with from high
school. They're they, over time,they turn into BFFs. But there's
always that 1 or 2 people thatreally stand out, and I feel
like it's one of thoseundeniable connections. Mhmm.
You know, it's like she'll callme, says I need a ride.
(08:25):
And even though it felt like outof the way, it's like, no. I
gotta get her. She's my girl.You know? And so I would pick
her up, and then theconversation was so natural.
We just start shooting a breezetalking about anything and
everything. And I was justreminiscing about this because I
sat there thinking, I don'tremember laughing so much
(08:47):
laughing so much with someone inmy entire life. So when, and,
Except when Sharon was around.You know? I laughed a lot when I
was younger.
But when I think about it, I'mlike, wow. We're laughing all
the time. We're laughing all thetime. So I think that was it.
Just natural connection, jabbingall the way, having a really
(09:09):
good time, and it felt likealways so good to see each
other.
You know?
Leisa (09:16):
Yeah. What how did you maintain your friendship beyond
the high school and and intoadulthood?
Sheila Andres (09:25):
You know, it's crazy because Sharon was like
this little nomad. You know, youcouldn't you couldn't, like,
tame her or keep her down. Andshe's this tiny little thing. I
mean, she's, like, 4 foot 11,and she's like this ball of fire
that would just go everywhere.And I remember even after high
school, she moved out to Floridato go to Embry Riddle.
(09:46):
After that, she did research anddid internship out in Hawaii,
wanted to travel all the time.She flew out of a she flew out
of a freaking plane.
Leisa (09:59):
Like like parachuting, you mean?
Sheila Andres (10:01):
Yes. She didn't even tell me. She took a video,
this little thing. Because I'mjust gonna fly out a plane
today. You know, I took flyinglessons.
But I think the keeping intouch, I feel like I hear this a
lot with best friends. You know,when you have that undeniable
connection, doesn't matter whereyou go, how much time has
(10:21):
passed. You pick up the phone,you chat, it's like you just
kinda picked up where, you know,you left off. And, with Sharon,
you know, sitting there thinkingabout it, I think she is the
only person that I rememberwhere it felt like we just
needed to let each other knowthe minute by minute replay of
(10:42):
our life. So 3 days went by, Imight call her and she's like,
oh my gosh, Sheila.
It's 3 days. And I'm like, Iknow. And then it was a replay,
play by play of, you know, whatwent on, what we ate for
breakfast, you know, my stomachhurts.
Leisa (11:01):
Well, it's it's there's something powerful about someone
witnessing you. Right? Like, ofjust and and being there to say,
oh, these things are importantor I wanna hear what what's
going on in your life and thatnot everyone is gonna wanna know
that. Right? Just the peoplethat that love us the most,
wanna know those inform thatthat part of our life.
(11:22):
Wow.
Sheila Andres (11:23):
No. And it's crazy that you even said that
because this morning, I don'tknow what came to me, but her
birthday is on November 2nd. Youknow, I just did a little
filming because your sisterwanted to honor her. But I think
it's about, you know,remembering her memory and
stuff. And then I sat theregoing, you know, there's 2
(11:44):
things that stood out whichkinda connected with what you're
saying.
You know, I I know how shethought of me and how much she
loved me and vice versa. Butit's different when you hear it
from other people. And what cameto me was, you know, when Sandy
would introduce me, she wouldalways say something like, oh,
yeah. This is Sharon's bestfriend. And she's like, Sheila,
(12:06):
you could do no wrong.
You you could do no wrong. Youknow? And, I've heard it, but it
just seems to linger. And I satthere thinking, wow, what a
testament of kind ofunconditional love. Mhmm.
Because that's really why shewas my best friend. I I couldn't
do any wrong. Even if I didsomething stupid, she'd still
(12:29):
love me. You know what I mean?We could crack jokes about it.
She could check my butt. Youknow, it might hurt a little
bit, but it'd be like, okay,fine. That was a hard booty
spank, but I'll take it, youknow.
Leisa (12:42):
That you know is coming from love and from her wanting
the best for you. Right?
Sheila Andres (12:47):
Yeah. Yeah.
Leisa (12:49):
What would you say are her 3 like, the three things you
love most about her?
Sheila Andres (12:58):
I think that was the biggest thing, you know,
just sitting here kindareminiscing. You know, I have
this person that just accepts mefor who who I am. And, you know,
I'm I'm an entrepreneur. Youknow, I meet a lot of women, and
it's this journey where we'rejust trying to step into really
authenticity, our truth, and whowe are. You know?
And I didn't even realizegrowing up in high school, I was
(13:21):
just wanting to be me. You know?I never felt so free to be me,
until I'm around Sharon. I mean,it's not the she's not the only
one. When I think about it, Inever had to fake it.
I've never had to put up afacade or feel anything
different. You know? So I thinkthat would be one of my favorite
(13:42):
things. I just got to be me. Itwas more than enough.
Number 2, oh my God, we we'dlaugh so much. I remember I'd go
to her house one time. This is astory we cannot let down and
die. I just showed up. We'rehanging out in a room.
We're laughing. We're tellingall these stories. She goes,
Sheila, I gotta go and get somewater. I'll be back. I'm like,
okay.
(14:02):
She walks out. Her mom andgrandmother are sitting there
watching TV. And she goes, oh,mom. Sheila's here. She's like,
okay.
She's like, and who else? Andshe goes, just Sheila. And her
mom was like, just Sheila? Shegoes, yeah. Why?
She goes, I thought you had 10people in there. So we were just
(14:22):
chatting. And, I mean, I wasthere for a few hours, but was,
like, laughter from thebeginning till the end when I
left. And I think the third oneis, you know, I look at her
life. I I realized when shepassed why she did so many
things.
I mean, she painted. She gotinto crystals and stones. You
know? She created jewelry. Shedid arts and crafts.
(14:47):
She traveled. You know, shewould drag me to places,
Ensenada, whatever. Gave mereason to go hit Florida and
Embry Riddle. I mean, she wasalways moving and shaking. You
know?
And I sat there going, this ishow you live life, you know, on,
like, on this constantadventure. And she always felt
like she had to keep moving andgoing. And when I look back, I'm
(15:08):
like, well, it kinda makes sensebecause, if your time isn't
short, there's this maybe anatural angst to just do
everything that your heartdesired or wanted to do. And she
did it. She's like, I'm gonnalearn how to fly a plane.
I'm like, can you even see abovethat dash here? You know, how
many how many pillows does itdoes the chair rise for you? She
(15:31):
was so tiny maneuvering thishumongous vehicle or, you know,
equipment or ship, whatever youwant, plane. And then, like,
flying out of an airplane andjust grabbing me and letting you
fall. Like, who does that?
I can't even think about bungeejumping.
Leisa (15:48):
Right. Wow. Did she was she, not well? Like, what is
that did she feel like her timewas limited or you just are
looking back thinking,
Sheila Andres (15:59):
you know, I think, like, all of us, we all
long for a companion in life andrelationships, and so she would
have them. And, you know, theyjust never lasted. Mhmm. You
know, we would wonder, and Ijust thought, you know, listen.
You just haven't found yoursoulmate.
You know, but when I look back,I realize, oh. Because maybe her
(16:20):
time wasn't meant to be herethat long. And, you know,
unfortunately, it wasn't anillness. It was one of those CSI
tragedy type of things that younever would think would happen.
So it was very shocking.
But her sister called me one daysaying, you know, have you
talked to Sharon? And,apparently, they they chat every
(16:42):
single day through through, wasthat Messenger when it was just
still kinda coming out? I forgotwhat app they were using.
Leisa (16:51):
Like Yahoo Messenger or something like that.
Sheila Andres (16:53):
AOL or Yeah. Exactly. But they, you know,
they were so close. They werethe only 2 sisters, but they
chat every single day. And Iactually did I mean, she would
tell me, Sandy and I talked Ididn't realize every day, but
that was that was kind of thered flag because they they
connect every morning rightbefore work started.
And I think after 3 days, Sandyreached out. She's like, I
haven't heard from Sharon. Youknow? And, unfortunately, she
(17:16):
was, she was abducted, you know,by the maintenance guy and the
apartment that she lived at,and, they found her, like, 2
weeks later.
Leisa (17:30):
Yeah. Very scary.
Sheila Andres (17:33):
Yeah.
Leisa (17:37):
That must have been really shocking and and
devastating to everyone who knewher.
Sheila Andres (17:44):
You know, I don't think I don't think, anyone
thinks about preparing anyonefor something like this, let
alone death. I mean, we don'ttalk about burial sites and all
that. We don't wanna think aboutany of that or getting sick or
so forth. I mean, they mighttalk about it, but not to the
(18:05):
depth of it. So, you know, whenit happened, yeah, I mean, I
dove head into the wholegrieving process and was
completely shock and denial.
And I I know I had gone off andpersonally apologized to the
(18:26):
sister and the mom because inthe beginning, I really wasn't
there. I wasn't I wasn't there.And I think subconsciously, I
just felt like if I show up orI'm there, then this whole
thing, this horrible news wouldbe true.
Leisa (18:48):
Yeah.
Sheila Andres (18:48):
And it just can't be. It can't be because we're
supposed to grow old together.Yeah. I'm not sure how to do
life without her. You know, wetalk about that inner critic or
that negative voice, you know,on you, but she was my
cheerleader.
You know? And, I don't I don'teven really know how to explain
(19:11):
the she was my soulmate. I'llI'll tell you that because when
she ended up passing, Iliterally felt this huge pain in
my heart and just crying,crying. And, this was just in
the beginning. They didn't knowwhere she was, couldn't find
her.
But when you're so connected tosomebody that closely, you know,
(19:35):
there's that just energy, thatbond, that intangible thing that
you don't see, but it's so real.The love was real. We were
totally best friends. We wereconnected, mind, heart, body,
soul. I was like, you know, shewas a guy, probably marry her,
you know, type of thing.
But, you know, when she passed,I I really I really felt it. You
(19:57):
know? And then it was kind ofawakening when you do something
really really try to find herand so forth.
Leisa (20:07):
Yeah. That's that's it's interesting. You know, death is
an interesting phenomenonbecause it's not all or I have
found it's not the circumstancesof the passing can really affect
it's can really affect how we, Idon't know, move forward or
(20:30):
grieve. Like, it it's veryunsettling in some ways. And in
some ways, it can be verysettling.
You know? And it doesn't meanit's not painful, but just the
different circumstances canreally be affect us in different
ways. Yeah.
Sheila Andres (20:47):
You know, I'll I'll tell you so many lessons.
You know? And it's just who youare and how how you take it. It
took me a long time, I think, toaccept that she was gone even
though she was gone. I rememberit was 15 years and her sister
went through a big memorialthing again because we're like,
(21:09):
we're in double digits, like 15.
Like, it felt big. She wanna dosomething. So, they asked people
to go and speak and shedefinitely earmarked a few
people to come and saysomething. And, you know, I was
one of them. And I I think thatwas the first time.
I I I never really verbalized.You know, what I'm about to
share was that I don't thinkI've allowed I did not allow
(21:31):
myself to accept fully that shewas gone. Because again, in
doing that, it would, be real.And it was, what was the word
that I used? It was, it wasdebilitating.
I couldn't even I couldn't evenget it out without my chest
(21:54):
feeling like it was gonnaexplode. And I thought, oh my
god. I have to breathe or myheart's gonna explode right now.
But saying it was, I think,healing and therapeutic, you
know, because it it needed to beaccepted. But the truth is, I
she's never really left.
Mhmm. And, in her leaving, in somany ways, like, we don't know
(22:18):
what we don't know. Oh my god.There's so much we don't know
what we don't know. But we talkabout, oh, look at Sharon's
life.
She really was a model. How doyou live life? And I realized,
well, I was living life reallyleaning on her to, find my
courage when I needed it, youknow, when I was feeling down to
(22:40):
be the one to lift me up, to bemy positive reinforcement or
positive thinking, you know,when the negative thinking takes
over. And, I think that wasprobably the hardest thing was
how do I do this without her?Yeah.
Tamara (22:57):
Yeah. I mean, how did the loss of her, like, because
of that? Like, do you feel it'saffected your life moving
forward? Like, you almost wantto do certain things to make her
proud, or, has it affected yourlife since then, you know, and
how you choose to live yourlife?
Sheila Andres (23:17):
Tara, are you gonna make me cry? Sorry. No. I
feel you.
Leisa (23:23):
You know,
Sheila Andres (23:26):
I I think that so what I would say about that is
there were, like, there weretimes when you just kinda feel
like you're on a low. And I usedto remember just calling her. I
would just tell her, like, itdidn't matter. It wasn't about
permission or anything. I justneeded to vent it out.
It felt so good and therapeuticfor somebody to be able to hear
(23:50):
you. But she wouldn't justlisten. She wouldn't just
listen. She would just sit thereand love on me. She'd she'd love
on me.
And so, and it's not like therewas other people that didn't
love me. It's just everyone wasso different and unique. And so
(24:11):
she would love me in such a waythat Sharon would. And it was
like, how can I look atreplacing that? But it was
really saying, you know,understanding the depth of that
love and that acceptance andwhatnot.
And, we don't think about thatbecause I don't know what I
don't know. But I know at somepoint in time, I just lost joy
(24:35):
in my life. And it was aroundthe time when I kinda left
corporate and went into doing myown business, but this desire to
just, I need to be me, I need tobe free to be me. And there
wasn't this mechanism that Ithink supported that that
allowed me to navigate throughlife. And I just got to a
juncture going, whatever I'mdoing right now just isn't
(24:57):
allowing me to to find thatpeace and joy in my life
anymore.
And so, I think in some way thataffected because it was like,
well, then how do how do I doit? But I would still hear
Sharon. You know, sometimes I'llsit there and and I'll think
about a memory and and thenwe're laughing again. The other
thing is we always talk abouthow she lived her life. You
(25:19):
know, it's easy to say, oh,look.
She says I wanna fly a planelearn to fly a plane. She just
did it. I mean, we know. Just doit. We know.
You know, we we hear thesethings, but then for you to
really take the words and walkit, it's just different. It's
(25:41):
just different. And so it's Ithink I needed to learn how to
walk again. You know? I wouldsay that I naturally, can find
confidence when I believe insomething so powerfully,
strongly.
And when I'm in service, I feelcompletely unstoppable. Meaning,
(26:02):
I don't think about myself andif I fumble or do that, which
gets in the way. But if I sitthere going, this beautiful soul
needs something, and I feel likeI could be valuable to them, I
feel unstoppable. But there aremoments when I have to do
something and I get into my headI get all self conscious, you
(26:26):
know, and all that stuff, andthen, Sharon would kick that to
the curb. All I had to do wascall her and she would do that.
But it was really going, well,what was it that she did that
gave me what I needed? You know?So it was things like that. And
then learning to live life.Well, Sharon lived life.
We can all model that, but thatwas her. So how do I take that
(26:50):
and bring that kind of fearless,desire for adventure? I'm not
saying I'm fearless, but, youknow, you get married, you have
children, and all of a sudden,the responsibility kind of
becomes an anchor. And then youdon't realize, wow. I used to
just get up and go, and I don'tget up and go anymore.
(27:12):
You know? So I hope in some waythat kinda answered that
question. I
Leisa (27:18):
was gonna ask you, what do you think Sharon would say
are 3 things that she loves mostabout you?
Sheila Andres (27:25):
Oh, gosh.
Leisa (27:37):
I'm so sorry. It's okay. Well, see, I'll I'll help you.
Probably, she would say that youwould do no wrong. Right?
Because that's what she would wehad already shared that And that
you're loving.
Sheila Andres (27:54):
Thank you.
Leisa (27:55):
And that you're oh, I'm gonna cry too. Okay. They're
catching. It's catching.
Sheila Andres (28:01):
Thank you.
Leisa (28:03):
And that you're joyful and light, you know, and you you
know, that's why you guys havethat spark of laughter.
Tamara (28:08):
Yeah. What a testament. Yeah. And how you know,
considering you said it wasalmost 20 her 20 year
anniversary is coming up andjust remarkable to you know, she
would be so proud that you areall still honoring her and
(28:29):
remembering her. That's, Ithink, huge because, you know,
it's as life goes on, sometimes,you know, people not that they
forget, but have otherpriorities.
So I think that's beautiful thatyou all make a, make it possible
to still, you know, work onremembering her and what she
(28:50):
meant in your life.
Sheila Andres (28:52):
You know, honestly, it's crazy. She's
she's really unforgettable. Ithink when we forget things,
she's because we're justfreaking getting old. I'm so
OLD, and the brain farts are soreal. And we try to do the best
to hold on to them.
You know? But it but what youcan't forget is how she made you
(29:12):
feel. You know? And it's it'scrazy because the one thing that
came to me when you say, whatare the three things she would
tell you? It brought me back tothe last conversation, and I
really wanna share this becauseit was such a gift.
So she was missing around inAugust. The last time I saw her,
my husband's birthday is August3rd. So we had a a luncheon
(29:36):
birthday celebration. So sheshowed up, and we spent the day
together. And it was crazybecause I do remember she was
walking out the house, alwaysthe last to leave, and she I
could tell, like, something wasbothering her.
And I said, what is it? So I hadbought her this ring. I had
(29:57):
bought it for, like, my closehigh school friends, and Sharon
had, been, not in California atthe time. But when she came back
and moved back, I was like, Igotta get her one. It's just
this little band and in in therein it was in great friends.
Well, I gave it to her as abirthday present. She would wear
it like religiously, so would I.And, she lost it. So she was
(30:22):
walking out the door, and shejust stood there like this
little, like, lost child. AndI'm like, what is it?
And she's like, wouldn't sayanything. But I knew. I'm like,
just tell me. You it doesn'tmatter. It doesn't matter.
And then she told me, she was, Ilost it. I'm like, what? She was
the ring. I'm like, oh my god. Ican buy you another one.
(30:43):
Although, I couldn't because Iwent to the jewelry lady, and
she only had so much. I'm like,you gotta find me one more of
these because it was the waythey they etched it, engraved
the the thing. Anyways, it wasunique. So I told her it was
fine, and it felt like thisrelief because it was so
(31:04):
important to her, and it was,like, important to me. And then
the following weekend, she wasleaving out of town with another
friend and couple of mine.
She was so excited when we weretalking. And I literally when I
speak to her, I I gotta I gottaleave. I gotta get my own space.
And I walked away in thatconversation. I promise you, I
(31:26):
was sitting there talking to hergoing, you know, I'm so happy
that you're going out and livinglife.
I hope that you find excitementand, you know, potential for
relationship here. But even onthat weekend, all these things,
and we were just talking, andshe's sharing all this stuff.
And it was almost like I don'tknow how to explain this, but we
(31:51):
talk in the sense, like, she'sgonna bring me with her, and I'm
gonna be there too. But I wassitting there going we ended up,
the conversation went to howmuch we ended up loving each
other. You know, I was feelingso much joy and gratitude and
appreciation.
I just started to hug. You know,I honestly don't know how I'm
(32:13):
gonna do this without you. Idon't know how I'm gonna live
life without you. You're soamazing. It's like, you know,
she goes, I know.
Blah blah blah. And she goes,it's like you're the voice in my
head. I go, exactly. EverywhereI go, I can hear you. You know
what I mean?
And, I'm just so happy. Youknow, you gotta call me when you
get back so we can catch up and,telling her how important she
(32:36):
was, and all these good things.And I think bottom line, it was
that was how important we wereto each other. Life would be it
was like, I don't know how my mylife would be, like, so me like,
meaningless or empty without youin it type of thing. And it was
(33:00):
going I know, like, when I sitthere and I think about it, I
hear your voice in my you're thevoice in my head, Sheila.
I'm like, exactly. The other dayI was doing this when I heard
you going, stop it. You got thisor you know what to do. So what
was that? You're the voice in myhead.
You know, you're my lifepartner, and, there's no one
(33:21):
else like you, you know, in thewhole wide world. And I sat
there thinking, woah, I feellike I'm saying goodbye to her.
Like, what is this? You knowwhat I mean? It's not like she's
going anywhere.
It's just a weekend trip. Andafter the fact and all that
happened, I was extremely,extremely grateful for that
(33:44):
opportunity to tell her how muchI loved her, how much she meant
to me. And I think it was if youever imagine what it would be to
say goodbye to somebody thatimportant, I got that. And it
was a gift. It was a gift.
Leisa (34:01):
Wow. Well, thank you so much for honoring her today and
sharing about her and yourbeautiful friendship. I, I know
that she is probably looking outfor you at all times.
Sheila Andres (34:20):
I feel
Leisa (34:22):
her. Yeah. And, I guess I'll just end with this. So just
you you you don't ever know whenyou're gonna meet your best
friend and follow that heart.You know, follow your your gut
when you meet this person, andit's just that instant
connection.
It doesn't even matter if you'rein high school or an adult or a
senior citizen or any, you know,any age, because that joy is is
(34:46):
a gift that will keep on giving.
Sheila Andres (34:50):
And I just wanna take a moment, Lisa and Tamara,
like, you know, when you firsttalked about this podcast, it
already touched me. And I feltlike, oh, I need to reach out.
But something said, wait. And Ijust knew that you guys were
doing something special. So Ijust I just wanna acknowledge
you for taking the time to dothis because best friends are
(35:11):
they're so important foreverything.
They add sparkle and beauty andjoy and love to a person's life.
And then, when her sister talkedabout 20 20th death anniversary
and all that, it just felt likethe timing of everything. And
then when you brought it up, itwas like, now I know I need to
(35:32):
reach out. And I just I Ithought you guys were gonna
reach out to me and and, like,kinda school me or let me know
if I would be able to do this,but you all of a sudden, it was
like, it's scheduled. We'redone.
And I felt so good about it. AndI'm just grateful. Like, oh,
they didn't even question it.You know, they said show up.
And, so I'm really appreciativefor this opportunity to honor my
(35:56):
best friend.
You know? So thank you so much.
Leisa (36:00):
You are welcome. Thank you. And we'll we'll cheers to
Sharon today. So
Tamara (36:06):
Yeah. Well, Anna, I'm leaving. I wanted to ask you if
if, you could be with her todayafter we get off this podcast.
What would you go do for funtogether?
Sheila Andres (36:20):
I think I'd probably, like, call her and
either invade her home and herroom and drink an entire bottle
of wine and stay there for aslong as I wanted to and just
chat my head and heart out. Andthat's all it took. Life was so
full just being present withher. So I would drag my butt and
(36:44):
make sure that we were just inthe same room, and it'd be more
than enough to celebrate to talkabout this and whatever, shoot
the breeze and whatever came tomind. Again, minute by minute,
replay of everything.
So, I live for that. I live forthat.
Leisa (37:03):
That's beautiful. Okay, besties. We will see you on our
next episode. Thank you, Sheila,for being so amazing and
heartfelt with your story aboutyour beautiful friend.
Sheila Andres (37:14):
Thank you. Till next
Tamara (37:15):
time. Bye. Bye, everyone.
Leisa (37:19):
Hey, Bestie. Thanks for listening. If you like this
episode, be sure to hit thatsubscribe button to get notified
of new episodes and check outcool bestie gift ideas at how I
met my bff.com.
Tamara (37:30):
That's right. And also, leave us a review. Those reviews
help us out a lot and are one ofthe best ways to support us.
Leisa (37:37):
Yes. And if you have a fun story about how you met your
BFF, send us an email at info athow I met my bff.com. We would
love to hear about it.
Tamara (37:45):
Definitely. And, hey, maybe we'll have you on our next
episode.
Leisa (37:50):
That would be awesome. Until next time.
Tamara (37:52):
Love you, BFFs.
Hey, besties. My name is Lisa.
Tamara (00:03):
And my name is Tamara, and we're BFFs.
Leisa (00:06):
Tamara and I met when we were about 12 years old growing
up in good old Fairbanks,Alaska.
Tamara (00:11):
And we've been best friends forever since.
Leisa (00:13):
That's right. And that's why we've decided to have some
fun, friendly conversations withthe bestest of best friends.
Tamara (00:18):
We'll talk about how we became best friends, our
experiences together, and haveother best friends on the show
to share how they met. Whoknows? You never
Leisa (00:27):
know when you'll meet your next BFF.
Tamara (00:30):
Now, let's get into it, how I met my BFF.
Leisa (00:34):
Welcome to another episode of How I Met My BFF.
Hello, Tamara.
Tamara (00:40):
Hello, Lisa. How are you?
Leisa (00:43):
I am good. I had a little bit of an exciting week this
week. Well, lots of things. Butour town, Rancho Santa
Margarita, made national and, Ithink, international news. I I
don't know.
But there was a huge fire thatis still happening, but I would
(01:03):
say Monday and we have a lot offires in California right now,
and, our guests might even beaffected as well. But it was
literally, like, right outsideour our city gates, if you will.
Not gates is the right word, butborders. And some people were
evacuated. Even today, they aretrying to figure out if the
roads are open, if they can getinto their homes.
(01:24):
They've been out of their homesall week. But, luckily, there
were no homes in our area thatwere lost. The fires are still
being fought, but, they just didan amazing job of of protecting
the community with, like, thefire retardant. We've got, like,
airplanes going all week long,dropping whatever magical stuff
(01:48):
that they drop to to saveeverybody and to and to preserve
everything. So it wasdefinitely, like, my Facebook
feed was full of inferno.
I I will say that is not normal.And it's pretty freaky. Like, I
and I know you've had your ownexperience with fire, Tamara.
So, yeah. So that was definitelyexciting, although not the
(02:11):
exciting that I want.
But it was definitely happening.How about you? Because I know
you're you're you're affected byfires too, but not in that way
right now.
Tamara (02:25):
Yeah. I mean, kind of we weren't it's not right at our
well, it's about an hour southof here, but, we also have been
inundated with fires not only inMontana, but all around from
Canada to California. Yeah. Andit's been hard, this past week.
We would probably have the mostbeautiful September weather
(02:46):
ever, and it's literally youcan't even see the mountains
around Missoula because it's sosmoky.
So that's been reallyfrustrating and hard, and it's
making people not feel good andbe grumpy. So, unfortunately, we
also or I've also had to dealwith fire issues, not, like, on
the verge of evacuation, but,scary. The fires are getting
(03:12):
worse and worse, it seems. Youknow, I've been in Montana now
for 18 years, and it's just it'shard because, natural. You know?
It's the world we live in now, Iguess. But fires are scary
because you don't always get abunch of notice. You try, but it
can be hard. So And then what
Leisa (03:33):
besides fires, what else have you been doing? You've been
out, in the vineyard or no? Notso much this yet?
Tamara (03:41):
The grapes are ripening. We probably are gonna do a
harvest of one of our varietiesnext week, so that'll be fun.
And then it looks like end ofSeptember, beginning of October,
we'll do the full harvest at thevineyard. So that's exciting.
We've had, as of right now, evenwith the smoke and lack of full
sunlight, we're having somenice, sugars in our grapes.
(04:04):
So very exciting. Yeah.
Leisa (04:07):
I don't even know what any of that means, but it sounds
good. You could write a book onwine on wine vineyard making,
harvesting, all the things.
Tamara (04:17):
It's important for your the wine you like we like to
drink. Come on, Lisa.
Leisa (04:22):
I don't I don't know the intricacies of these. I just
drink the wine. I'm really,really good at that. I'm really,
really good at that. Yeah.
And on a lighter note, I,hopefully, everyone listening is
safe. But, I also had a really,really fun e women networking
meeting yesterday, and I, was ina position to where I was
leading the meeting for thefirst time because our fearless
(04:45):
leader, was unavailable thatmonth or but we had a really fun
time. And so that was that wascool. I was surrounded by 40
awesome entrepreneurial womenyesterday. So
Sheila Andres (04:58):
Oh, wow.
Leisa (04:59):
Speaking of amazing entrepreneurial women, one of
our our guests today is SheilaAndres. Hey, Sheila. Welcome to
the show.
Sheila Andres (05:08):
Hello. Hello. I know it's audio, but I'm shaking
a little bit.
Leisa (05:11):
Yeah. I'm gonna dance.
Sheila Andres (05:12):
It's Friday.
Leisa (05:14):
I almost said, oh oh, Sheila. Yep. Anyway, so so
excited to have you on the show.And I know you were gonna share
about your beautiful friend,Sharon, and your relationship
with Sharon. Do you wanna giveus a little highlight of how you
(05:35):
and Sharon met?
Sheila Andres (05:37):
Yeah. No. I really appreciate this
opportunity because, it's a timewhere it's really an epic
moment, I think. So my bestfriend is Sharon Santos. It's
been 20 years, this year of herdeath anniversary.
(06:00):
And, you know, I think back, sheunfortunately didn't make it to
31, you know. And as the yearsgo by, her sister, there's only
2 of them and I I only have onesister so we have that in
common. She celebrates herbirthday every year at her
favorite restaurant to kindahonor her. And she just reminds
(06:21):
that last year, she turned 50.You know, this year is the 20th
death anniversary.
I feel like she did 1 15. Butyou hear these numbers and
you're like, oh my gosh. Timehas gone by so fast. And that
question, like, how did I meetSharon? I was like, I I feel
like I don't even remember.
Yeah. But, what I will say isbut what does come to me is I I
(06:44):
think I met her through a mutualfriend because we didn't go to
the same school at all. But I doknow when we met, we hit it off
so well. We exchanged numbers. Imight be aging myself.
So back in the day, there was nocell phones. They were just
pagers.
Leisa (07:01):
Oh, pagers. Wow. Yeah.
Sheila Andres (07:04):
I'm not sure how we communicated, but, we
exchanged numbers. And I had acar, and when she needed a ride
home, she'd call me. So I driveout of the way to her school.
She went to private school. Iwent to a public school.
And I pick her up. And I thinkthat that's really what grew and
fostered the relationshipbecause we've been in the car.
And driving home, we chat, chitchat, always laughing and having
(07:28):
a good time.
Leisa (07:30):
Wow. Now was this in high school? So, like, I you said
you're driving, so maybe it wasa 16, 15
Sheila Andres (07:36):
years old type. I was sitting there. I'm so
embarrassed. I can't remember.The brain farts are real right
now.
They are so real. Yeah. Butdefinitely definitely high
school for sure.
Leisa (07:49):
Yeah. When did you feel like it became just different
from meeting someone and hittingit off to now we're best friends
or we're in this best friendtype of a relationship. What was
that like for you?
Sheila Andres (08:03):
You know, so I have a lot of friends, and then
there's some that I still stayin contact with from high
school. They're they, over time,they turn into BFFs. But there's
always that 1 or 2 people thatreally stand out, and I feel
like it's one of thoseundeniable connections. Mhmm.
You know, it's like she'll callme, says I need a ride.
(08:25):
And even though it felt like outof the way, it's like, no. I
gotta get her. She's my girl.You know? And so I would pick
her up, and then theconversation was so natural.
We just start shooting a breezetalking about anything and
everything. And I was justreminiscing about this because I
sat there thinking, I don'tremember laughing so much
(08:47):
laughing so much with someone inmy entire life. So when, and,
Except when Sharon was around.You know? I laughed a lot when I
was younger.
But when I think about it, I'mlike, wow. We're laughing all
the time. We're laughing all thetime. So I think that was it.
Just natural connection, jabbingall the way, having a really
(09:09):
good time, and it felt likealways so good to see each
other.
You know?
Leisa (09:16):
Yeah. What how did you maintain your friendship beyond
the high school and and intoadulthood?
Sheila Andres (09:25):
You know, it's crazy because Sharon was like
this little nomad. You know, youcouldn't you couldn't, like,
tame her or keep her down. Andshe's this tiny little thing. I
mean, she's, like, 4 foot 11,and she's like this ball of fire
that would just go everywhere.And I remember even after high
school, she moved out to Floridato go to Embry Riddle.
(09:46):
After that, she did research anddid internship out in Hawaii,
wanted to travel all the time.She flew out of a she flew out
of a freaking plane.
Leisa (09:59):
Like like parachuting, you mean?
Sheila Andres (10:01):
Yes. She didn't even tell me. She took a video,
this little thing. Because I'mjust gonna fly out a plane
today. You know, I took flyinglessons.
But I think the keeping intouch, I feel like I hear this a
lot with best friends. You know,when you have that undeniable
connection, doesn't matter whereyou go, how much time has
(10:21):
passed. You pick up the phone,you chat, it's like you just
kinda picked up where, you know,you left off. And, with Sharon,
you know, sitting there thinkingabout it, I think she is the
only person that I rememberwhere it felt like we just
needed to let each other knowthe minute by minute replay of
(10:42):
our life. So 3 days went by, Imight call her and she's like,
oh my gosh, Sheila.
It's 3 days. And I'm like, Iknow. And then it was a replay,
play by play of, you know, whatwent on, what we ate for
breakfast, you know, my stomachhurts.
Leisa (11:01):
Well, it's it's there's something powerful about someone
witnessing you. Right? Like, ofjust and and being there to say,
oh, these things are importantor I wanna hear what what's
going on in your life and thatnot everyone is gonna wanna know
that. Right? Just the peoplethat that love us the most,
wanna know those inform thatthat part of our life.
(11:22):
Wow.
Sheila Andres (11:23):
No. And it's crazy that you even said that
because this morning, I don'tknow what came to me, but her
birthday is on November 2nd. Youknow, I just did a little
filming because your sisterwanted to honor her. But I think
it's about, you know,remembering her memory and
stuff. And then I sat theregoing, you know, there's 2
(11:44):
things that stood out whichkinda connected with what you're
saying.
You know, I I know how shethought of me and how much she
loved me and vice versa. Butit's different when you hear it
from other people. And what cameto me was, you know, when Sandy
would introduce me, she wouldalways say something like, oh,
yeah. This is Sharon's bestfriend. And she's like, Sheila,
(12:06):
you could do no wrong.
You you could do no wrong. Youknow? And, I've heard it, but it
just seems to linger. And I satthere thinking, wow, what a
testament of kind ofunconditional love. Mhmm.
Because that's really why shewas my best friend. I I couldn't
do any wrong. Even if I didsomething stupid, she'd still
(12:29):
love me. You know what I mean?We could crack jokes about it.
She could check my butt. Youknow, it might hurt a little
bit, but it'd be like, okay,fine. That was a hard booty
spank, but I'll take it, youknow.
Leisa (12:42):
That you know is coming from love and from her wanting
the best for you. Right?
Sheila Andres (12:47):
Yeah. Yeah.
Leisa (12:49):
What would you say are her 3 like, the three things you
love most about her?
Sheila Andres (12:58):
I think that was the biggest thing, you know,
just sitting here kindareminiscing. You know, I have
this person that just accepts mefor who who I am. And, you know,
I'm I'm an entrepreneur. Youknow, I meet a lot of women, and
it's this journey where we'rejust trying to step into really
authenticity, our truth, and whowe are. You know?
And I didn't even realizegrowing up in high school, I was
(13:21):
just wanting to be me. You know?I never felt so free to be me,
until I'm around Sharon. I mean,it's not the she's not the only
one. When I think about it, Inever had to fake it.
I've never had to put up afacade or feel anything
different. You know? So I thinkthat would be one of my favorite
(13:42):
things. I just got to be me. Itwas more than enough.
Number 2, oh my God, we we'dlaugh so much. I remember I'd go
to her house one time. This is astory we cannot let down and
die. I just showed up. We'rehanging out in a room.
We're laughing. We're tellingall these stories. She goes,
Sheila, I gotta go and get somewater. I'll be back. I'm like,
okay.
(14:02):
She walks out. Her mom andgrandmother are sitting there
watching TV. And she goes, oh,mom. Sheila's here. She's like,
okay.
She's like, and who else? Andshe goes, just Sheila. And her
mom was like, just Sheila? Shegoes, yeah. Why?
She goes, I thought you had 10people in there. So we were just
(14:22):
chatting. And, I mean, I wasthere for a few hours, but was,
like, laughter from thebeginning till the end when I
left. And I think the third oneis, you know, I look at her
life. I I realized when shepassed why she did so many
things.
I mean, she painted. She gotinto crystals and stones. You
know? She created jewelry. Shedid arts and crafts.
(14:47):
She traveled. You know, shewould drag me to places,
Ensenada, whatever. Gave mereason to go hit Florida and
Embry Riddle. I mean, she wasalways moving and shaking. You
know?
And I sat there going, this ishow you live life, you know, on,
like, on this constantadventure. And she always felt
like she had to keep moving andgoing. And when I look back, I'm
(15:08):
like, well, it kinda makes sensebecause, if your time isn't
short, there's this maybe anatural angst to just do
everything that your heartdesired or wanted to do. And she
did it. She's like, I'm gonnalearn how to fly a plane.
I'm like, can you even see abovethat dash here? You know, how
many how many pillows does itdoes the chair rise for you? She
(15:31):
was so tiny maneuvering thishumongous vehicle or, you know,
equipment or ship, whatever youwant, plane. And then, like,
flying out of an airplane andjust grabbing me and letting you
fall. Like, who does that?
I can't even think about bungeejumping.
Leisa (15:48):
Right. Wow. Did she was she, not well? Like, what is
that did she feel like her timewas limited or you just are
looking back thinking,
Sheila Andres (15:59):
you know, I think, like, all of us, we all
long for a companion in life andrelationships, and so she would
have them. And, you know, theyjust never lasted. Mhmm. You
know, we would wonder, and Ijust thought, you know, listen.
You just haven't found yoursoulmate.
You know, but when I look back,I realize, oh. Because maybe her
(16:20):
time wasn't meant to be herethat long. And, you know,
unfortunately, it wasn't anillness. It was one of those CSI
tragedy type of things that younever would think would happen.
So it was very shocking.
But her sister called me one daysaying, you know, have you
talked to Sharon? And,apparently, they they chat every
(16:42):
single day through through, wasthat Messenger when it was just
still kinda coming out? I forgotwhat app they were using.
Leisa (16:51):
Like Yahoo Messenger or something like that.
Sheila Andres (16:53):
AOL or Yeah. Exactly. But they, you know,
they were so close. They werethe only 2 sisters, but they
chat every single day. And Iactually did I mean, she would
tell me, Sandy and I talked Ididn't realize every day, but
that was that was kind of thered flag because they they
connect every morning rightbefore work started.
And I think after 3 days, Sandyreached out. She's like, I
haven't heard from Sharon. Youknow? And, unfortunately, she
(17:16):
was, she was abducted, you know,by the maintenance guy and the
apartment that she lived at,and, they found her, like, 2
weeks later.
Leisa (17:30):
Yeah. Very scary.
Sheila Andres (17:33):
Yeah.
Leisa (17:37):
That must have been really shocking and and
devastating to everyone who knewher.
Sheila Andres (17:44):
You know, I don't think I don't think, anyone
thinks about preparing anyonefor something like this, let
alone death. I mean, we don'ttalk about burial sites and all
that. We don't wanna think aboutany of that or getting sick or
so forth. I mean, they mighttalk about it, but not to the
(18:05):
depth of it. So, you know, whenit happened, yeah, I mean, I
dove head into the wholegrieving process and was
completely shock and denial.
And I I know I had gone off andpersonally apologized to the
(18:26):
sister and the mom because inthe beginning, I really wasn't
there. I wasn't I wasn't there.And I think subconsciously, I
just felt like if I show up orI'm there, then this whole
thing, this horrible news wouldbe true.
Leisa (18:48):
Yeah.
Sheila Andres (18:48):
And it just can't be. It can't be because we're
supposed to grow old together.Yeah. I'm not sure how to do
life without her. You know, wetalk about that inner critic or
that negative voice, you know,on you, but she was my
cheerleader.
You know? And, I don't I don'teven really know how to explain
(19:11):
the she was my soulmate. I'llI'll tell you that because when
she ended up passing, Iliterally felt this huge pain in
my heart and just crying,crying. And, this was just in
the beginning. They didn't knowwhere she was, couldn't find
her.
But when you're so connected tosomebody that closely, you know,
(19:35):
there's that just energy, thatbond, that intangible thing that
you don't see, but it's so real.The love was real. We were
totally best friends. We wereconnected, mind, heart, body,
soul. I was like, you know, shewas a guy, probably marry her,
you know, type of thing.
But, you know, when she passed,I I really I really felt it. You
(19:57):
know? And then it was kind ofawakening when you do something
really really try to find herand so forth.
Leisa (20:07):
Yeah. That's that's it's interesting. You know, death is
an interesting phenomenonbecause it's not all or I have
found it's not the circumstancesof the passing can really affect
it's can really affect how we, Idon't know, move forward or
(20:30):
grieve. Like, it it's veryunsettling in some ways. And in
some ways, it can be verysettling.
You know? And it doesn't meanit's not painful, but just the
different circumstances canreally be affect us in different
ways. Yeah.
Sheila Andres (20:47):
You know, I'll I'll tell you so many lessons.
You know? And it's just who youare and how how you take it. It
took me a long time, I think, toaccept that she was gone even
though she was gone. I rememberit was 15 years and her sister
went through a big memorialthing again because we're like,
(21:09):
we're in double digits, like 15.
Like, it felt big. She wanna dosomething. So, they asked people
to go and speak and shedefinitely earmarked a few
people to come and saysomething. And, you know, I was
one of them. And I I think thatwas the first time.
I I I never really verbalized.You know, what I'm about to
share was that I don't thinkI've allowed I did not allow
(21:31):
myself to accept fully that shewas gone. Because again, in
doing that, it would, be real.And it was, what was the word
that I used? It was, it wasdebilitating.
I couldn't even I couldn't evenget it out without my chest
(21:54):
feeling like it was gonnaexplode. And I thought, oh my
god. I have to breathe or myheart's gonna explode right now.
But saying it was, I think,healing and therapeutic, you
know, because it it needed to beaccepted. But the truth is, I
she's never really left.
Mhmm. And, in her leaving, in somany ways, like, we don't know
(22:18):
what we don't know. Oh my god.There's so much we don't know
what we don't know. But we talkabout, oh, look at Sharon's
life.
She really was a model. How doyou live life? And I realized,
well, I was living life reallyleaning on her to, find my
courage when I needed it, youknow, when I was feeling down to
(22:40):
be the one to lift me up, to bemy positive reinforcement or
positive thinking, you know,when the negative thinking takes
over. And, I think that wasprobably the hardest thing was
how do I do this without her?Yeah.
Tamara (22:57):
Yeah. I mean, how did the loss of her, like, because
of that? Like, do you feel it'saffected your life moving
forward? Like, you almost wantto do certain things to make her
proud, or, has it affected yourlife since then, you know, and
how you choose to live yourlife?
Sheila Andres (23:17):
Tara, are you gonna make me cry? Sorry. No. I
feel you.
Leisa (23:23):
You know,
Sheila Andres (23:26):
I I think that so what I would say about that is
there were, like, there weretimes when you just kinda feel
like you're on a low. And I usedto remember just calling her. I
would just tell her, like, itdidn't matter. It wasn't about
permission or anything. I justneeded to vent it out.
It felt so good and therapeuticfor somebody to be able to hear
(23:50):
you. But she wouldn't justlisten. She wouldn't just
listen. She would just sit thereand love on me. She'd she'd love
on me.
And so, and it's not like therewas other people that didn't
love me. It's just everyone wasso different and unique. And so
(24:11):
she would love me in such a waythat Sharon would. And it was
like, how can I look atreplacing that? But it was
really saying, you know,understanding the depth of that
love and that acceptance andwhatnot.
And, we don't think about thatbecause I don't know what I
don't know. But I know at somepoint in time, I just lost joy
(24:35):
in my life. And it was aroundthe time when I kinda left
corporate and went into doing myown business, but this desire to
just, I need to be me, I need tobe free to be me. And there
wasn't this mechanism that Ithink supported that that
allowed me to navigate throughlife. And I just got to a
juncture going, whatever I'mdoing right now just isn't
(24:57):
allowing me to to find thatpeace and joy in my life
anymore.
And so, I think in some way thataffected because it was like,
well, then how do how do I doit? But I would still hear
Sharon. You know, sometimes I'llsit there and and I'll think
about a memory and and thenwe're laughing again. The other
thing is we always talk abouthow she lived her life. You
(25:19):
know, it's easy to say, oh,look.
She says I wanna fly a planelearn to fly a plane. She just
did it. I mean, we know. Just doit. We know.
You know, we we hear thesethings, but then for you to
really take the words and walkit, it's just different. It's
(25:41):
just different. And so it's Ithink I needed to learn how to
walk again. You know? I wouldsay that I naturally, can find
confidence when I believe insomething so powerfully,
strongly.
And when I'm in service, I feelcompletely unstoppable. Meaning,
(26:02):
I don't think about myself andif I fumble or do that, which
gets in the way. But if I sitthere going, this beautiful soul
needs something, and I feel likeI could be valuable to them, I
feel unstoppable. But there aremoments when I have to do
something and I get into my headI get all self conscious, you
(26:26):
know, and all that stuff, andthen, Sharon would kick that to
the curb. All I had to do wascall her and she would do that.
But it was really going, well,what was it that she did that
gave me what I needed? You know?So it was things like that. And
then learning to live life.Well, Sharon lived life.
We can all model that, but thatwas her. So how do I take that
(26:50):
and bring that kind of fearless,desire for adventure? I'm not
saying I'm fearless, but, youknow, you get married, you have
children, and all of a sudden,the responsibility kind of
becomes an anchor. And then youdon't realize, wow. I used to
just get up and go, and I don'tget up and go anymore.
(27:12):
You know? So I hope in some waythat kinda answered that
question. I
Leisa (27:18):
was gonna ask you, what do you think Sharon would say
are 3 things that she loves mostabout you?
Sheila Andres (27:25):
Oh, gosh.
Leisa (27:37):
I'm so sorry. It's okay. Well, see, I'll I'll help you.
Probably, she would say that youwould do no wrong. Right?
Because that's what she would wehad already shared that And that
you're loving.
Sheila Andres (27:54):
Thank you.
Leisa (27:55):
And that you're oh, I'm gonna cry too. Okay. They're
catching. It's catching.
Sheila Andres (28:01):
Thank you.
Leisa (28:03):
And that you're joyful and light, you know, and you you
know, that's why you guys havethat spark of laughter.
Tamara (28:08):
Yeah. What a testament. Yeah. And how you know,
considering you said it wasalmost 20 her 20 year
anniversary is coming up andjust remarkable to you know, she
would be so proud that you areall still honoring her and
(28:29):
remembering her. That's, Ithink, huge because, you know,
it's as life goes on, sometimes,you know, people not that they
forget, but have otherpriorities.
So I think that's beautiful thatyou all make a, make it possible
to still, you know, work onremembering her and what she
(28:50):
meant in your life.
Sheila Andres (28:52):
You know, honestly, it's crazy. She's
she's really unforgettable. Ithink when we forget things,
she's because we're justfreaking getting old. I'm so
OLD, and the brain farts are soreal. And we try to do the best
to hold on to them.
You know? But it but what youcan't forget is how she made you
(29:12):
feel. You know? And it's it'scrazy because the one thing that
came to me when you say, whatare the three things she would
tell you? It brought me back tothe last conversation, and I
really wanna share this becauseit was such a gift.
So she was missing around inAugust. The last time I saw her,
my husband's birthday is August3rd. So we had a a luncheon
(29:36):
birthday celebration. So sheshowed up, and we spent the day
together. And it was crazybecause I do remember she was
walking out the house, alwaysthe last to leave, and she I
could tell, like, something wasbothering her.
And I said, what is it? So I hadbought her this ring. I had
(29:57):
bought it for, like, my closehigh school friends, and Sharon
had, been, not in California atthe time. But when she came back
and moved back, I was like, Igotta get her one. It's just
this little band and in in therein it was in great friends.
Well, I gave it to her as abirthday present. She would wear
it like religiously, so would I.And, she lost it. So she was
(30:22):
walking out the door, and shejust stood there like this
little, like, lost child. AndI'm like, what is it?
And she's like, wouldn't sayanything. But I knew. I'm like,
just tell me. You it doesn'tmatter. It doesn't matter.
And then she told me, she was, Ilost it. I'm like, what? She was
the ring. I'm like, oh my god. Ican buy you another one.
(30:43):
Although, I couldn't because Iwent to the jewelry lady, and
she only had so much. I'm like,you gotta find me one more of
these because it was the waythey they etched it, engraved
the the thing. Anyways, it wasunique. So I told her it was
fine, and it felt like thisrelief because it was so
(31:04):
important to her, and it was,like, important to me. And then
the following weekend, she wasleaving out of town with another
friend and couple of mine.
She was so excited when we weretalking. And I literally when I
speak to her, I I gotta I gottaleave. I gotta get my own space.
And I walked away in thatconversation. I promise you, I
(31:26):
was sitting there talking to hergoing, you know, I'm so happy
that you're going out and livinglife.
I hope that you find excitementand, you know, potential for
relationship here. But even onthat weekend, all these things,
and we were just talking, andshe's sharing all this stuff.
And it was almost like I don'tknow how to explain this, but we
(31:51):
talk in the sense, like, she'sgonna bring me with her, and I'm
gonna be there too. But I wassitting there going we ended up,
the conversation went to howmuch we ended up loving each
other. You know, I was feelingso much joy and gratitude and
appreciation.
I just started to hug. You know,I honestly don't know how I'm
(32:13):
gonna do this without you. Idon't know how I'm gonna live
life without you. You're soamazing. It's like, you know,
she goes, I know.
Blah blah blah. And she goes,it's like you're the voice in my
head. I go, exactly. EverywhereI go, I can hear you. You know
what I mean?
And, I'm just so happy. Youknow, you gotta call me when you
get back so we can catch up and,telling her how important she
(32:36):
was, and all these good things.And I think bottom line, it was
that was how important we wereto each other. Life would be it
was like, I don't know how my mylife would be, like, so me like,
meaningless or empty without youin it type of thing. And it was
(33:00):
going I know, like, when I sitthere and I think about it, I
hear your voice in my you're thevoice in my head, Sheila.
I'm like, exactly. The other dayI was doing this when I heard
you going, stop it. You got thisor you know what to do. So what
was that? You're the voice in myhead.
You know, you're my lifepartner, and, there's no one
(33:21):
else like you, you know, in thewhole wide world. And I sat
there thinking, woah, I feellike I'm saying goodbye to her.
Like, what is this? You knowwhat I mean? It's not like she's
going anywhere.
It's just a weekend trip. Andafter the fact and all that
happened, I was extremely,extremely grateful for that
(33:44):
opportunity to tell her how muchI loved her, how much she meant
to me. And I think it was if youever imagine what it would be to
say goodbye to somebody thatimportant, I got that. And it
was a gift. It was a gift.
Leisa (34:01):
Wow. Well, thank you so much for honoring her today and
sharing about her and yourbeautiful friendship. I, I know
that she is probably looking outfor you at all times.
Sheila Andres (34:20):
I feel
Leisa (34:22):
her. Yeah. And, I guess I'll just end with this. So just
you you you don't ever know whenyou're gonna meet your best
friend and follow that heart.You know, follow your your gut
when you meet this person, andit's just that instant
connection.
It doesn't even matter if you'rein high school or an adult or a
senior citizen or any, you know,any age, because that joy is is
(34:46):
a gift that will keep on giving.
Sheila Andres (34:50):
And I just wanna take a moment, Lisa and Tamara,
like, you know, when you firsttalked about this podcast, it
already touched me. And I feltlike, oh, I need to reach out.
But something said, wait. And Ijust knew that you guys were
doing something special. So Ijust I just wanna acknowledge
you for taking the time to dothis because best friends are
(35:11):
they're so important foreverything.
They add sparkle and beauty andjoy and love to a person's life.
And then, when her sister talkedabout 20 20th death anniversary
and all that, it just felt likethe timing of everything. And
then when you brought it up, itwas like, now I know I need to
(35:32):
reach out. And I just I Ithought you guys were gonna
reach out to me and and, like,kinda school me or let me know
if I would be able to do this,but you all of a sudden, it was
like, it's scheduled. We'redone.
And I felt so good about it. AndI'm just grateful. Like, oh,
they didn't even question it.You know, they said show up.
And, so I'm really appreciativefor this opportunity to honor my
(35:56):
best friend.
You know? So thank you so much.
Leisa (36:00):
You are welcome. Thank you. And we'll we'll cheers to
Sharon today. So
Tamara (36:06):
Yeah. Well, Anna, I'm leaving. I wanted to ask you if
if, you could be with her todayafter we get off this podcast.
What would you go do for funtogether?
Sheila Andres (36:20):
I think I'd probably, like, call her and
either invade her home and herroom and drink an entire bottle
of wine and stay there for aslong as I wanted to and just
chat my head and heart out. Andthat's all it took. Life was so
full just being present withher. So I would drag my butt and
(36:44):
make sure that we were just inthe same room, and it'd be more
than enough to celebrate to talkabout this and whatever, shoot
the breeze and whatever came tomind. Again, minute by minute,
replay of everything.
So, I live for that. I live forthat.
Leisa (37:03):
That's beautiful. Okay, besties. We will see you on our
next episode. Thank you, Sheila,for being so amazing and
heartfelt with your story aboutyour beautiful friend.
Sheila Andres (37:14):
Thank you. Till next
Tamara (37:15):
time. Bye. Bye, everyone.
Leisa (37:19):
Hey, Bestie. Thanks for listening. If you like this
episode, be sure to hit thatsubscribe button to get notified
of new episodes and check outcool bestie gift ideas at how I
met my bff.com.
Tamara (37:30):
That's right. And also, leave us a review. Those reviews
help us out a lot and are one ofthe best ways to support us.
Leisa (37:37):
Yes. And if you have a fun story about how you met your
BFF, send us an email at info athow I met my bff.com. We would
love to hear about it.
Tamara (37:45):
Definitely. And, hey, maybe we'll have you on our next
episode.
Leisa (37:50):
That would be awesome. Until next time.
Tamara (37:52):
Love you, BFFs.
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