May 7, 2025 • 25 mins
Ever wondered how a chance meeting could transform into a whirlwind romance and thriving business partnership? In Episode 73 of "How I Met My BFF," Tamara and Leisa, dive into the captivating love story of Chaya and Adam Garcia. From their serendipitous encounter at a gathering to a proposal just weeks later, their journey is nothing short of epic! Discover how personal life transformation paved the way for their instant connection and how they balance love and business.
Chaya, the "Epic Love Expert," shares insights from their upcoming book, "The Epic Love Habit," and offers wisdom on avoiding common dating pitfalls. Tune in for a heartwarming blend of personal growth, love, and laughter.
To access "The Top 7 Dating Mistakes
Keeping You Single" go to https://marriedin2025.com/
Visit our site at howimetmybff.com
Help support our show by getting some of our exclusive swag found here!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Leisa Reed (00:01):
Hey, besties. My name's Lisa.
Tamara Kindred (00:03):
And my name's Tamara, and we're BFFs.
Leisa Reed (00:06):
Tamara and I met when we were about 12 years old
growing up in good oldFairbanks, Alaska.
Tamara Kindred (00:11):
And we've been best friends forever since.
Leisa Reed (00:13):
That's right. And that's why we've decided to have
some fun, friendly conversationswith the bestest of best
friends.
Tamara Kindred (00:18):
We'll talk about how we became best friends, our
experiences together, and haveother best friends on the show
to share how they met.
Leisa Reed (00:26):
Who knows? You never know when you'll meet your next
BFF.
Tamara Kindred (00:30):
Now let's get into it, how I met my BFF.
Leisa Reed (00:34):
Welcome to another episode of how I met my BFF. Hi,
Tamara.
Tamara Kindred (00:38):
Hey, Lisa. How are you?
Leisa Reed (00:40):
I am well. I have an update on my Doctor. Mary Claire
Haver obsession.
Tamara Kindred (00:49):
Hold on.
Leisa Reed (00:50):
I read so just to clue in any new listeners today,
I finished the new menopausebook, and then I also did the
Galveston diet book. And I haveto say, I'm shocked that I'm
able to do this so far, but it'sbeen, like, three weeks that I
have been intermittent fasting,which if you know me really
(01:10):
well, I really love breakfast. Ilove eating. I never miss a
meal. So it's kind of surprisingthat I'm able to do it, but I
am.
And I will say, in alltransparency, I'm getting hungry
right now because it's like I'vegot, like, an hour to go, so
make it quick. No. I'm justkidding. That's all
Chaya Garcia (01:30):
about all the food you can eat when you're done.
Leisa Reed (01:32):
I know. Right? I'm like, I cannot wait. Actually,
meeting a friend for lunch, soit'll all be it'll all be worth
it. But, yeah, I'm kindasurprised.
And I have, I would say I'velost a little bit, but I'm not
doing it exactly. I'm not a %following it, but I'm just
trying to ease my way into it.I've lost a little bit, but then
(01:53):
I also go outside the lines aswell. So I can't say it's it's
Mary's fault, but but I'mgetting there. How are you?
Tamara Kindred (02:02):
I'm good. I'm, proud of you for trying that. I
know it's not your favorite,but, I could intermittent fast
all every day.
Leisa Reed (02:13):
Well, yeah, you can intermittent fast, like, twenty
three hours. Right? That's notfair.
Tamara Kindred (02:18):
Well, not because it's good for me because
yeah. Anyways, so, I'm good.It's just been another lovely
busy week of pruning, and thewinery is gearing up for all of
our weddings coming up andevents. So I've been super busy
with that and my other job withthe government, so it's been a
(02:40):
lot of fun. But, I'm doing good.
Leisa Reed (02:44):
Yeah. Wait. And yes. And I speaking of weddings,
ironically, our guests today, Ithink they're married, and I
think they might have evengotten married in 2025. Spoiler
alert.
But, welcome, Haya and Adam.Welcome to our show. Thank you.
Thank you so much for having us.
Adam Garcia (03:03):
Thank you for having us.
Leisa Reed (03:04):
Yes. We're excited to hear this best friend story.
So, Haya, since you voluntoldAdam to be on the podcast just
kidding. But, why why don't youstart us off? How did you meet
Adam?
Adam Garcia (03:19):
By the way, I love that that word voluntold.
Leisa Reed (03:24):
He's like, wait, what are we doing?
Chaya Garcia (03:27):
Yeah. So thank you so much for having me. It is
truly a pleasure and honor to behere. Thanks for hosting such a
beautiful platform to talk aboutthings that are so positive and
connective and inspirational. Sokudos to you, guys.
And then, so I met Adam. We'veactually been married for eight
years, and I met him in Hebronin Israel. And there was a huge
(03:51):
Shabbatone, a huge gathering forthe weekend. And out of
thousands of people, God broughtus together. And I met him, and
as soon as I met him, I knewthat he was somebody very
special.
And we happened to have beenliving in the same, town at the
time not knowing each other. Andhe walked me back to where I was
(04:11):
staying and got me a ride. And Igave him a ride back to the town
that we were both living in. Andthat's how our beautiful
friendship and marriage started.
Leisa Reed (04:21):
Wow. Adam, why don't you share yours your version of
the story?
Adam Garcia (04:28):
Yeah. Sure. So I underwent maybe, like, six
months prior a whole lifetransformation. I just graduated
university, and and I I went toIsrael. I was gonna be there for
one year and then come home.
And at this at this event thatwe were both at, I out of as
(04:52):
Chaya said, out of thousands ofpeople, after the meal, after
dinner, I spoke I was talkingfound myself in a conversation
with and two other girls. And wewere just having a very very
deep, you know, conversationright off the bat. And then come
(05:13):
the next day, I saw again, and Ifelt so comfortable. You know?
If you know my personality, I'mnot the quote unquote romantic
extrovert.
But when I saw Chaya, I gave hermy jacket. She said she was
cold. I picked up on the hintsor picked up on the, you know,
(05:35):
her emotions, and I gave her myjacket. It's unlike something I
would have done. But when youfind the right person, you just
feel that sense of comfort.
So that's where it started.
Leisa Reed (05:46):
Okay. But just going back to the first conversation,
like, how did out of all thethousands of people, how did you
guys even end up I mean, youcould stand next to someone and
still not talk. Like, how did iteven spark a conversation? Haya,
do you wanna share about that?
Chaya Garcia (06:01):
Yeah. Sure. So we basically, found a mutual
friend. So I was at a table witha friend, and that he that
friend also also knew him. So weended up being at the same
table.
I mean, it's divinity.Obviously, it's grace.
Obviously, it's timing. But westarted that conversation by
just being in the same place inthe same time and being in a
(06:25):
healthy environment. It was anenvironment that was conducive
to growth, that was conducive tospiritual growth, to meeting new
people, to doing positive thingsfor your life.
So it was a very nice setting toanyways have lots of
conversations with people evenif you didn't know them, which
then led to, of course, manymore conversations.
Leisa Reed (06:46):
That's so cool. So did it immediately or how long
was it friendship only?
Adam Garcia (06:54):
So friendship for about a week.
Leisa Reed (06:56):
Oh, okay.
Adam Garcia (06:57):
And then I asked her out a week late two weeks
later, we got engaged. Two and ahalf weeks later, engaged. Two
months later, married.
Chaya Garcia (07:06):
Three months later, married.
Adam Garcia (07:07):
Three months later.
Leisa Reed (07:08):
That's why we have both versions because, know.
Right? Wow. They were marriedwithin three months.
Chaya Garcia (07:15):
We were married within four months of knowing
each other. We basically so aweek after he met me, he asked
me out, and two and a half weekslater from dating, he proposed
to me. Once we were engaged,three months after that, we got
married.
Leisa Reed (07:33):
Wow. I love that.
Chaya Garcia (07:36):
When you know. We are extraordinarily happily
married now in our eighth year.I wake up every day more and
more in love with Adam. He makesme feel like the craziness in
the world is irrelevant to thecalm love that I have. We have
gorgeous kids and a businessthat we share together.
(07:57):
So it's not about the time, it'sabout how much work you on
yourself and in yourself beforeyou make the decision on who to
marry. And I spent many, many,many years getting to know
myself, heal my wounds, heal mytraumas and love myself before I
made a decision on who to marry,which is why the process was so
(08:18):
smooth and short. It's not anindication of time. It was
indication of all the time thatI put on myself before making
the decision of who and how toattract my true soulmate.
Beautiful.
Adam Garcia (08:31):
And to and to add to that is that when we met from
the very beginning, from dayone, there was complete clarity.
There was there were not games.Their first conversation with in
that small group that wementioned, we spoke about really
sensitive, you know, subjects,you know, like a future future
(08:56):
paced subjects. So, like, whatare you what are you looking for
in a in a potential person, in apotential mate, you know,
intimacy, you know, like,hugging, you know, all of this
stuff. And so that clarityprovided the foundation for
(09:16):
either it working out and weknow right away, or we also know
right away that that it won'twork out.
And I think that many, many,many people, especially as we
start working with people in ourcompany on attracting a healthy
love is about becoming clearwith what we want. And and then
(09:38):
if we're clear with what wewant, then when it comes to
meeting somebody else, you canthen share that in a clear way.
So so there's not this back andforth which leads to confusion.
Leisa Reed (09:53):
And tell us the name of your company.
Chaya Garcia (09:56):
The company is mostly my name, Chaya Garcia.
Okay.
Leisa Reed (09:59):
I can
Chaya Garcia (10:00):
hear a different LLC name, but my company is me,
Chaya, and I'm the epic loveexpert. And I'm about to publish
a book called the epic lovehabit. And the the the group
coaching that we do as the mainpart of our business for dating
and relationship coaching iscalled the epic love mastermind
or the epiclovemastermind.com,you know, which is where we have
(10:23):
our sales page to see how much acost of what it is. But mostly
ebook calls me first so that Ican, you know, see, how I can
best serve your needs. But soit's high epic love expert.
And then the epic love is theconcept, and I am the the brand,
so to speak, that teaches andshares the knowledge base and
(10:44):
relationship tools to helppeople have, 10 x their revenue
and 10 x their relationships.
Leisa Reed (10:51):
Wow. And then I remember Adam was mentioning
something about this is beforewe we were hitting record, but
he was mentioning somethingabout you have some tips for
dating on one of your sites. Ithink it's married in 2025.com.
And there's top seven datingmistakes for I'm sorry. What is
(11:17):
it?
Tops top seven dating mistakes.The
Adam Garcia (11:22):
top seven dating mistakes keeping you single.
Leisa Reed (11:25):
Okay. Okay. Can you share a couple of those? I just
you know?
Tamara Kindred (11:31):
Yes. I'd love to hear it.
Leisa Reed (11:33):
Wants to know. Of
Chaya Garcia (11:36):
course. So one of them is misunderstanding
attention for love. So a lot oftimes when, let's say, a man
approaches a woman, she'll hewill give her attention. He'll
call her beautiful. He'll saylet's hang out.
And she will think, oh, maybethis is love. And it's not. It's
(11:56):
not even remotely the sameconcept. It's not even remotely
the same commitment. It's noteven remotely the same heart
space and soul space in realityand for the man.
But for the woman, she exchangesor misunderstands or
misinterprets interpretsattention for love. And he's
like, well, she's he's callingme and he's saying I'm
beautiful. And he says he helikes me and it's like, oh,
(12:18):
maybe he's gonna love me. Maybehe is loving me. Me and love
also words are cheap.
So unless he's doing things forcommitment without an exchange,
without, you know, sex or like,if you're not giving him
anything that he would then wantto pursue you because of you not
for something he can get fromanother person, then it's very
hard to decipher that. So one isattention is not love. If he's
(12:41):
not asking you out to date youfor marriage or for a committed
long term relationship, thenhe's using you essentially. And
we all have needs of love,companionship, attention, and
intimacy. He's not a bad guy.
He could be a nice guy who'salso not interested in
committing to you and youspecifically, which means he can
(13:01):
show you a lot of attention,take you out and laugh with you,
but has absolutely no interestin getting to know your depth
and committing to you for thefuture, which essentially wastes
your time and essentially leavesyou brokenhearted just in one
month or one year or one decade,depending how the road goes.
Leisa Reed (13:23):
That is an amazing nuance that I had never heard
phrased that way. Because I knowI definitely I mean, I haven't
been single for a long time, butI definitely have been have
succumbed to that mistake in thepast. So very powerful. And
Adam Garcia (13:42):
so in a lot of these concepts that we're
teaching these men and women,it's directed towards people who
are single looking to getmarried, but these are life
skills. Some of the people inour coaching programs are in
their sixties and their theirchildren, whatever it is, we all
have self love work to do onourselves. And one of the other
(14:07):
tips is feeling worthy of lovebased on your looks or
accomplishments. A lot of times,people, even if you're married,
whatever it is, we feel worthywhen we make that sale. We feel
worthy when we look a certainway.
We feel worthy. And so many,many, many people attach their
(14:31):
their identity and self worthwith what they do. And one of
the versus who they are. And theway that we can reclaim that
love for ourselves is to to buyourselves flowers. You know,
that's one of the practical tipsthat Haya has done in her
(14:54):
healing journey, and she teachesthat in just that that very
small act of going to normallywhat you would do for somebody
else, do it for yourself.
Also, love notes to yourself,from yourself. And those things
one of the things we teach ishaving a love note wall where
you put you know, we all havegood days. We all have not so
(15:17):
good days. And on those not sogood days, if we see in our
environment love noteseverywhere, it's hard to deny
that. So these are theprinciples that we're educating
people on.
Leisa Reed (15:32):
That is so cool. Go ahead,
Tamara Kindred (15:36):
Oh, well, I wanted to ask. So, you know,
we've done interviews withfriends who have been in
business, but you guys have thatextra layer of also romantically
involved and being in businessand being best friends. How do
you make it work?
Chaya Garcia (15:53):
A lot of communication and quick
forgiveness. So the epic lovehabit that I teach in the book
that's gonna be coming out soon,The same interpersonal and deep
skills that you need to succeedin business, which is really
essentially a bunch ofrelationships. You also need in
your private life, which isessentially a bunch of
relationships. The commonalityis who shows up, you. Right?
(16:13):
And the commonality is how youinterpret and interpret and then
also react to conflict. Do youblame other people? Are you
quick to find fault? Or do youtake things, do you take full
responsibility for everythingthat happens in your life? And
if someone's doing somethingwrong, you ask yourself, how am
I showing up in that samerespect?
That a, I'm seeing it, b, it'spissing me off. And three, maybe
(16:36):
they're learning it from mebecause I'm also in the
immediate environment. So Adamand I both take full
responsibility for things thathappen. We communicate
constantly the same way youwould do in a very rapidly
growing business, or marriage.You need to communicate, you
talk about the hard things, thefeelings, you make space for
each other, you make time blockscommitments.
(16:57):
Adam puts me to bed every night,meaning he sits with me before I
go to bed and we talk. You know,there's there's, a commitment.
There's a commitment forcommunication, for attention,
and for growth. And if you don'thave that first with yourself,
you cannot have the capacity tomanage others. You will be too
(17:19):
drained, overwhelmed, and thenaccidentally angry to find fault
in others.
So the Epic Love Habit, which iswhat I teach is how do I love
myself boundlessly,unconditionally, give myself
massive amounts of forgivenessand grace. See myself as God
sees me versus how I see me.Right? I see me as myself as so
(17:40):
flawed. Right?
So f up. So this could be betterhere, could be better there. But
God doesn't see me that way. Andit's definitely not gonna help
me be kind and loving to peoplearound me if I'm critical on
myself because then I will usemy critical self to be critical
on other people, which makes it,a difficult way to grow rapidly
(18:01):
and grow effectively withoutcracks and a foundation which
eventually could.
Leisa Reed (18:07):
That's so powerful. I love what you guys are
offering the world because justeven loving yourself and and
even the little thing, you know,a little thing of of love note,
a little thing of of seeingyourself as God sees you is such
a big thing. It's like buteveryone can do that. Everyone
has access to that. They can,you know, have a pen and paper
(18:30):
or a piece pencil and paper.
That's you can always choose tohave a different perspective.
That's super powerful.
Adam Garcia (18:39):
I think the unique the unique word here is it's a
habit, the epic love habit. Andthe habit is something that we
do over and over and over again.The things we teach, they may be
very novel, but to to many,they've you know, it's not like
something we haven't heardbefore. But the work that we're
(19:00):
doing is how to take that ideaand to make it into a habit and
to integrate it into oureveryday lives. Like, as you
said, this small thing, which isa love note, is actually the
biggest thing in the world.
It's a small act in amount oftime invested, but it's really a
manifestation of how you thinkof yourself. If I think of
(19:23):
myself as I love myself and Ideserve, you know, I I deserve
to give to myself the best thatI can do, then as an outgrowth
of that comes a little lovenote, and it and it reinforces.
Leisa Reed (19:42):
I used to when I I had this habit that I did a long
time ago where I would if Ibought something on Amazon or
any any website and it was, youknow, something for myself, I
would and it's like, would youlike to include a note? And I'm
like, yes. I would. And I'd belike, dear Lisa, you are a rock
star. Enjoy this, whatever itis.
You know? Keep being awesome. Sothat was always fun. My my
(20:07):
husband always thought that wasfunny.
Chaya Garcia (20:08):
That's the magic. You look at the most successful
people in the world. Right? AlexHermosy, Layla Hermosy, Cody
Sanchez, Gary Vaynerchuk, justsome names. I'm sure there is
others.
They literally all write notesto themselves. I'm like, y'all
don't need to look so far. LeilaHermosy, which is for those of
you unfamiliar, is this a femaleCEO of a billion dollar company.
(20:30):
And she says, you know, peoplealways ask her, like, why don't
you just hire someone else to bethe CEO? Like, there's so much
going on and you already havemade it, so to speak.
You can hire that out. And shesaid people burn out from being
a CEO because they don't knowhow to love themselves and
forgive themselves for all themistakes that they make and
their you know, the pressure ismuch higher. The peak there's so
many people impacted. They don'tknow how to forgive themselves
(20:52):
from their, you know, from theirmess ups that they eventually
just divvy it out. But she said,I learned how to forgive myself
and get to the next screw up sothat I can move in a way where I
still show up positively for thepeople around me no matter how
difficult things are.
The crux, the epic love habit,the way that you love yourself,
(21:13):
speak to yourself, write toyourself is the defining factor
whether you grow and eventuallycrash, which many million dollar
companies and marriages do, oryou grow and sustain. It is that
linchpin to either having energyto maintain conflict over time
or the conflict slowly depletesyou until the relationship or
(21:36):
businesses aren't structurallysound.
Leisa Reed (21:42):
Oh, I love what you guys are doing. Tamara, do have
any last questions?
Tamara Kindred (21:46):
Well, just to kind of wrap it up, it's been
lovely to talk to both of youand could learn so much, I'm
sure. I was wondering since youguys are together, and what are
you gonna do later on today forfun?
Chaya Garcia (22:04):
Tonight is actually Friday night, and our
our culture in Hodesh isJudaism. So we care we keep
Shabbat, which is basicallytwenty five hours, no phones, no
computers, no work, no Zoomcalls, no driving even, and we
devote about one full day Fridaynight to Saturday night just to
(22:27):
family and community. So we'regonna be having a nice meal
together, light candles. Myhusband stays home or we we
celebrate with the family.Tomorrow, we're going out to
lunch with a community member.
We walk there instead ofdriving. Everything is spiritual
and emotionally connected toreboot. I feel very blessed to
(22:47):
take out to have this practicein my life. I didn't always keep
it so easy to be go go go. Let'smake more money.
Let's do this. And like when youkeep your faith, your heritage,
your culture, whatever isimportant to you, you find you
find the truth in the chaos. Youfind the calm in the chaos
because nobody who had a lot ofmoney was ever fulfilled if they
(23:08):
didn't also have a private,powerful life. So that's what
we're gonna be doing today.We're gonna be keeping Shabbat
and lighting candles and havinga really nice meal with our
children and feeling the powerof the truth of why we do all of
the healing work we do so thatmore healthy babies can come
into more healthy marriages andcontinue a better cycle going
(23:29):
forward.
Tamara Kindred (23:31):
Beautiful. Very nice.
Leisa Reed (23:34):
Adam, did you wanna say anything before we head out?
Adam Garcia (23:40):
First of all, thank you for having us on your on
your platform and to be able toconnect, and that's beautiful.
And the one thing about Shabbatthat I love is that you get to
slow down because the mostimportant things are the easiest
to look past. And the thingsthat are most chaotic typically
(24:05):
are not the things that give usfulfillment. And and so it gives
us an opportunity to to slowdown and to to to enjoy. So
that's what we're gonna bedoing.
Tamara Kindred (24:17):
That's great. Well,
Leisa Reed (24:20):
like, well, our besties, you never know when
you're gonna meet your best nextbest friend. You never know when
you might meet the love of yourlife, your soulmate, your
partner, and, we're just reallyblessed that we got to spend
that time
Chaya Garcia (24:36):
with you today. Bye, everybody. Thank you so
much.
Adam Garcia (24:41):
Thank you.
Leisa Reed (24:45):
Hey, Bestie. Thanks for listening. If you like this
episode, be sure to hit thatsubscribe button to get notified
of new episodes and check outcool Bestie gift ideas at
howImetmybff.com.
Tamara Kindred (24:56):
That's right. And, also, leave us a review.
Those reviews help us out a lotand are one of the best ways to
support us.
Leisa Reed (25:02):
Yes. And if you have a fun story about how you met
your b f f, send us an email atinfo@howImetmybff.com. We would
love to hear about it.
Tamara Kindred (25:11):
Definitely. And, hey, maybe we'll have you on our
next episode.
Leisa Reed (25:16):
That would be awesome. Until next time.
Tamara Kindred (25:18):
Love you, BFFs.
Hey, besties. My name's Lisa.
Tamara Kindred (00:03):
And my name's Tamara, and we're BFFs.
Leisa Reed (00:06):
Tamara and I met when we were about 12 years old
growing up in good oldFairbanks, Alaska.
Tamara Kindred (00:11):
And we've been best friends forever since.
Leisa Reed (00:13):
That's right. And that's why we've decided to have
some fun, friendly conversationswith the bestest of best
friends.
Tamara Kindred (00:18):
We'll talk about how we became best friends, our
experiences together, and haveother best friends on the show
to share how they met.
Leisa Reed (00:26):
Who knows? You never know when you'll meet your next
BFF.
Tamara Kindred (00:30):
Now let's get into it, how I met my BFF.
Leisa Reed (00:34):
Welcome to another episode of how I met my BFF. Hi,
Tamara.
Tamara Kindred (00:38):
Hey, Lisa. How are you?
Leisa Reed (00:40):
I am well. I have an update on my Doctor. Mary Claire
Haver obsession.
Tamara Kindred (00:49):
Hold on.
Leisa Reed (00:50):
I read so just to clue in any new listeners today,
I finished the new menopausebook, and then I also did the
Galveston diet book. And I haveto say, I'm shocked that I'm
able to do this so far, but it'sbeen, like, three weeks that I
have been intermittent fasting,which if you know me really
(01:10):
well, I really love breakfast. Ilove eating. I never miss a
meal. So it's kind of surprisingthat I'm able to do it, but I
am.
And I will say, in alltransparency, I'm getting hungry
right now because it's like I'vegot, like, an hour to go, so
make it quick. No. I'm justkidding. That's all
Chaya Garcia (01:30):
about all the food you can eat when you're done.
Leisa Reed (01:32):
I know. Right? I'm like, I cannot wait. Actually,
meeting a friend for lunch, soit'll all be it'll all be worth
it. But, yeah, I'm kindasurprised.
And I have, I would say I'velost a little bit, but I'm not
doing it exactly. I'm not a %following it, but I'm just
trying to ease my way into it.I've lost a little bit, but then
(01:53):
I also go outside the lines aswell. So I can't say it's it's
Mary's fault, but but I'mgetting there. How are you?
Tamara Kindred (02:02):
I'm good. I'm, proud of you for trying that. I
know it's not your favorite,but, I could intermittent fast
all every day.
Leisa Reed (02:13):
Well, yeah, you can intermittent fast, like, twenty
three hours. Right? That's notfair.
Tamara Kindred (02:18):
Well, not because it's good for me because
yeah. Anyways, so, I'm good.It's just been another lovely
busy week of pruning, and thewinery is gearing up for all of
our weddings coming up andevents. So I've been super busy
with that and my other job withthe government, so it's been a
(02:40):
lot of fun. But, I'm doing good.
Leisa Reed (02:44):
Yeah. Wait. And yes. And I speaking of weddings,
ironically, our guests today, Ithink they're married, and I
think they might have evengotten married in 2025. Spoiler
alert.
But, welcome, Haya and Adam.Welcome to our show. Thank you.
Thank you so much for having us.
Adam Garcia (03:03):
Thank you for having us.
Leisa Reed (03:04):
Yes. We're excited to hear this best friend story.
So, Haya, since you voluntoldAdam to be on the podcast just
kidding. But, why why don't youstart us off? How did you meet
Adam?
Adam Garcia (03:19):
By the way, I love that that word voluntold.
Leisa Reed (03:24):
He's like, wait, what are we doing?
Chaya Garcia (03:27):
Yeah. So thank you so much for having me. It is
truly a pleasure and honor to behere. Thanks for hosting such a
beautiful platform to talk aboutthings that are so positive and
connective and inspirational. Sokudos to you, guys.
And then, so I met Adam. We'veactually been married for eight
years, and I met him in Hebronin Israel. And there was a huge
(03:51):
Shabbatone, a huge gathering forthe weekend. And out of
thousands of people, God broughtus together. And I met him, and
as soon as I met him, I knewthat he was somebody very
special.
And we happened to have beenliving in the same, town at the
time not knowing each other. Andhe walked me back to where I was
(04:11):
staying and got me a ride. And Igave him a ride back to the town
that we were both living in. Andthat's how our beautiful
friendship and marriage started.
Leisa Reed (04:21):
Wow. Adam, why don't you share yours your version of
the story?
Adam Garcia (04:28):
Yeah. Sure. So I underwent maybe, like, six
months prior a whole lifetransformation. I just graduated
university, and and I I went toIsrael. I was gonna be there for
one year and then come home.
And at this at this event thatwe were both at, I out of as
(04:52):
Chaya said, out of thousands ofpeople, after the meal, after
dinner, I spoke I was talkingfound myself in a conversation
with and two other girls. And wewere just having a very very
deep, you know, conversationright off the bat. And then come
(05:13):
the next day, I saw again, and Ifelt so comfortable. You know?
If you know my personality, I'mnot the quote unquote romantic
extrovert.
But when I saw Chaya, I gave hermy jacket. She said she was
cold. I picked up on the hintsor picked up on the, you know,
(05:35):
her emotions, and I gave her myjacket. It's unlike something I
would have done. But when youfind the right person, you just
feel that sense of comfort.
So that's where it started.
Leisa Reed (05:46):
Okay. But just going back to the first conversation,
like, how did out of all thethousands of people, how did you
guys even end up I mean, youcould stand next to someone and
still not talk. Like, how did iteven spark a conversation? Haya,
do you wanna share about that?
Chaya Garcia (06:01):
Yeah. Sure. So we basically, found a mutual
friend. So I was at a table witha friend, and that he that
friend also also knew him. So weended up being at the same
table.
I mean, it's divinity.Obviously, it's grace.
Obviously, it's timing. But westarted that conversation by
just being in the same place inthe same time and being in a
(06:25):
healthy environment. It was anenvironment that was conducive
to growth, that was conducive tospiritual growth, to meeting new
people, to doing positive thingsfor your life.
So it was a very nice setting toanyways have lots of
conversations with people evenif you didn't know them, which
then led to, of course, manymore conversations.
Leisa Reed (06:46):
That's so cool. So did it immediately or how long
was it friendship only?
Adam Garcia (06:54):
So friendship for about a week.
Leisa Reed (06:56):
Oh, okay.
Adam Garcia (06:57):
And then I asked her out a week late two weeks
later, we got engaged. Two and ahalf weeks later, engaged. Two
months later, married.
Chaya Garcia (07:06):
Three months later, married.
Adam Garcia (07:07):
Three months later.
Leisa Reed (07:08):
That's why we have both versions because, know.
Right? Wow. They were marriedwithin three months.
Chaya Garcia (07:15):
We were married within four months of knowing
each other. We basically so aweek after he met me, he asked
me out, and two and a half weekslater from dating, he proposed
to me. Once we were engaged,three months after that, we got
married.
Leisa Reed (07:33):
Wow. I love that.
Chaya Garcia (07:36):
When you know. We are extraordinarily happily
married now in our eighth year.I wake up every day more and
more in love with Adam. He makesme feel like the craziness in
the world is irrelevant to thecalm love that I have. We have
gorgeous kids and a businessthat we share together.
(07:57):
So it's not about the time, it'sabout how much work you on
yourself and in yourself beforeyou make the decision on who to
marry. And I spent many, many,many years getting to know
myself, heal my wounds, heal mytraumas and love myself before I
made a decision on who to marry,which is why the process was so
(08:18):
smooth and short. It's not anindication of time. It was
indication of all the time thatI put on myself before making
the decision of who and how toattract my true soulmate.
Beautiful.
Adam Garcia (08:31):
And to and to add to that is that when we met from
the very beginning, from dayone, there was complete clarity.
There was there were not games.Their first conversation with in
that small group that wementioned, we spoke about really
sensitive, you know, subjects,you know, like a future future
(08:56):
paced subjects. So, like, whatare you what are you looking for
in a in a potential person, in apotential mate, you know,
intimacy, you know, like,hugging, you know, all of this
stuff. And so that clarityprovided the foundation for
(09:16):
either it working out and weknow right away, or we also know
right away that that it won'twork out.
And I think that many, many,many people, especially as we
start working with people in ourcompany on attracting a healthy
love is about becoming clearwith what we want. And and then
(09:38):
if we're clear with what wewant, then when it comes to
meeting somebody else, you canthen share that in a clear way.
So so there's not this back andforth which leads to confusion.
Leisa Reed (09:53):
And tell us the name of your company.
Chaya Garcia (09:56):
The company is mostly my name, Chaya Garcia.
Okay.
Leisa Reed (09:59):
I can
Chaya Garcia (10:00):
hear a different LLC name, but my company is me,
Chaya, and I'm the epic loveexpert. And I'm about to publish
a book called the epic lovehabit. And the the the group
coaching that we do as the mainpart of our business for dating
and relationship coaching iscalled the epic love mastermind
or the epiclovemastermind.com,you know, which is where we have
(10:23):
our sales page to see how much acost of what it is. But mostly
ebook calls me first so that Ican, you know, see, how I can
best serve your needs. But soit's high epic love expert.
And then the epic love is theconcept, and I am the the brand,
so to speak, that teaches andshares the knowledge base and
(10:44):
relationship tools to helppeople have, 10 x their revenue
and 10 x their relationships.
Leisa Reed (10:51):
Wow. And then I remember Adam was mentioning
something about this is beforewe we were hitting record, but
he was mentioning somethingabout you have some tips for
dating on one of your sites. Ithink it's married in 2025.com.
And there's top seven datingmistakes for I'm sorry. What is
(11:17):
it?
Tops top seven dating mistakes.The
Adam Garcia (11:22):
top seven dating mistakes keeping you single.
Leisa Reed (11:25):
Okay. Okay. Can you share a couple of those? I just
you know?
Tamara Kindred (11:31):
Yes. I'd love to hear it.
Leisa Reed (11:33):
Wants to know. Of
Chaya Garcia (11:36):
course. So one of them is misunderstanding
attention for love. So a lot oftimes when, let's say, a man
approaches a woman, she'll hewill give her attention. He'll
call her beautiful. He'll saylet's hang out.
And she will think, oh, maybethis is love. And it's not. It's
(11:56):
not even remotely the sameconcept. It's not even remotely
the same commitment. It's noteven remotely the same heart
space and soul space in realityand for the man.
But for the woman, she exchangesor misunderstands or
misinterprets interpretsattention for love. And he's
like, well, she's he's callingme and he's saying I'm
beautiful. And he says he helikes me and it's like, oh,
(12:18):
maybe he's gonna love me. Maybehe is loving me. Me and love
also words are cheap.
So unless he's doing things forcommitment without an exchange,
without, you know, sex or like,if you're not giving him
anything that he would then wantto pursue you because of you not
for something he can get fromanother person, then it's very
hard to decipher that. So one isattention is not love. If he's
(12:41):
not asking you out to date youfor marriage or for a committed
long term relationship, thenhe's using you essentially. And
we all have needs of love,companionship, attention, and
intimacy. He's not a bad guy.
He could be a nice guy who'salso not interested in
committing to you and youspecifically, which means he can
(13:01):
show you a lot of attention,take you out and laugh with you,
but has absolutely no interestin getting to know your depth
and committing to you for thefuture, which essentially wastes
your time and essentially leavesyou brokenhearted just in one
month or one year or one decade,depending how the road goes.
Leisa Reed (13:23):
That is an amazing nuance that I had never heard
phrased that way. Because I knowI definitely I mean, I haven't
been single for a long time, butI definitely have been have
succumbed to that mistake in thepast. So very powerful. And
Adam Garcia (13:42):
so in a lot of these concepts that we're
teaching these men and women,it's directed towards people who
are single looking to getmarried, but these are life
skills. Some of the people inour coaching programs are in
their sixties and their theirchildren, whatever it is, we all
have self love work to do onourselves. And one of the other
(14:07):
tips is feeling worthy of lovebased on your looks or
accomplishments. A lot of times,people, even if you're married,
whatever it is, we feel worthywhen we make that sale. We feel
worthy when we look a certainway.
We feel worthy. And so many,many, many people attach their
(14:31):
their identity and self worthwith what they do. And one of
the versus who they are. And theway that we can reclaim that
love for ourselves is to to buyourselves flowers. You know,
that's one of the practical tipsthat Haya has done in her
(14:54):
healing journey, and she teachesthat in just that that very
small act of going to normallywhat you would do for somebody
else, do it for yourself.
Also, love notes to yourself,from yourself. And those things
one of the things we teach ishaving a love note wall where
you put you know, we all havegood days. We all have not so
(15:17):
good days. And on those not sogood days, if we see in our
environment love noteseverywhere, it's hard to deny
that. So these are theprinciples that we're educating
people on.
Leisa Reed (15:32):
That is so cool. Go ahead,
Tamara Kindred (15:36):
Oh, well, I wanted to ask. So, you know,
we've done interviews withfriends who have been in
business, but you guys have thatextra layer of also romantically
involved and being in businessand being best friends. How do
you make it work?
Chaya Garcia (15:53):
A lot of communication and quick
forgiveness. So the epic lovehabit that I teach in the book
that's gonna be coming out soon,The same interpersonal and deep
skills that you need to succeedin business, which is really
essentially a bunch ofrelationships. You also need in
your private life, which isessentially a bunch of
relationships. The commonalityis who shows up, you. Right?
(16:13):
And the commonality is how youinterpret and interpret and then
also react to conflict. Do youblame other people? Are you
quick to find fault? Or do youtake things, do you take full
responsibility for everythingthat happens in your life? And
if someone's doing somethingwrong, you ask yourself, how am
I showing up in that samerespect?
That a, I'm seeing it, b, it'spissing me off. And three, maybe
(16:36):
they're learning it from mebecause I'm also in the
immediate environment. So Adamand I both take full
responsibility for things thathappen. We communicate
constantly the same way youwould do in a very rapidly
growing business, or marriage.You need to communicate, you
talk about the hard things, thefeelings, you make space for
each other, you make time blockscommitments.
(16:57):
Adam puts me to bed every night,meaning he sits with me before I
go to bed and we talk. You know,there's there's, a commitment.
There's a commitment forcommunication, for attention,
and for growth. And if you don'thave that first with yourself,
you cannot have the capacity tomanage others. You will be too
(17:19):
drained, overwhelmed, and thenaccidentally angry to find fault
in others.
So the Epic Love Habit, which iswhat I teach is how do I love
myself boundlessly,unconditionally, give myself
massive amounts of forgivenessand grace. See myself as God
sees me versus how I see me.Right? I see me as myself as so
(17:40):
flawed. Right?
So f up. So this could be betterhere, could be better there. But
God doesn't see me that way. Andit's definitely not gonna help
me be kind and loving to peoplearound me if I'm critical on
myself because then I will usemy critical self to be critical
on other people, which makes it,a difficult way to grow rapidly
(18:01):
and grow effectively withoutcracks and a foundation which
eventually could.
Leisa Reed (18:07):
That's so powerful. I love what you guys are
offering the world because justeven loving yourself and and
even the little thing, you know,a little thing of of love note,
a little thing of of seeingyourself as God sees you is such
a big thing. It's like buteveryone can do that. Everyone
has access to that. They can,you know, have a pen and paper
(18:30):
or a piece pencil and paper.
That's you can always choose tohave a different perspective.
That's super powerful.
Adam Garcia (18:39):
I think the unique the unique word here is it's a
habit, the epic love habit. Andthe habit is something that we
do over and over and over again.The things we teach, they may be
very novel, but to to many,they've you know, it's not like
something we haven't heardbefore. But the work that we're
(19:00):
doing is how to take that ideaand to make it into a habit and
to integrate it into oureveryday lives. Like, as you
said, this small thing, which isa love note, is actually the
biggest thing in the world.
It's a small act in amount oftime invested, but it's really a
manifestation of how you thinkof yourself. If I think of
(19:23):
myself as I love myself and Ideserve, you know, I I deserve
to give to myself the best thatI can do, then as an outgrowth
of that comes a little lovenote, and it and it reinforces.
Leisa Reed (19:42):
I used to when I I had this habit that I did a long
time ago where I would if Ibought something on Amazon or
any any website and it was, youknow, something for myself, I
would and it's like, would youlike to include a note? And I'm
like, yes. I would. And I'd belike, dear Lisa, you are a rock
star. Enjoy this, whatever itis.
You know? Keep being awesome. Sothat was always fun. My my
(20:07):
husband always thought that wasfunny.
Chaya Garcia (20:08):
That's the magic. You look at the most successful
people in the world. Right? AlexHermosy, Layla Hermosy, Cody
Sanchez, Gary Vaynerchuk, justsome names. I'm sure there is
others.
They literally all write notesto themselves. I'm like, y'all
don't need to look so far. LeilaHermosy, which is for those of
you unfamiliar, is this a femaleCEO of a billion dollar company.
(20:30):
And she says, you know, peoplealways ask her, like, why don't
you just hire someone else to bethe CEO? Like, there's so much
going on and you already havemade it, so to speak.
You can hire that out. And shesaid people burn out from being
a CEO because they don't knowhow to love themselves and
forgive themselves for all themistakes that they make and
their you know, the pressure ismuch higher. The peak there's so
many people impacted. They don'tknow how to forgive themselves
(20:52):
from their, you know, from theirmess ups that they eventually
just divvy it out. But she said,I learned how to forgive myself
and get to the next screw up sothat I can move in a way where I
still show up positively for thepeople around me no matter how
difficult things are.
The crux, the epic love habit,the way that you love yourself,
(21:13):
speak to yourself, write toyourself is the defining factor
whether you grow and eventuallycrash, which many million dollar
companies and marriages do, oryou grow and sustain. It is that
linchpin to either having energyto maintain conflict over time
or the conflict slowly depletesyou until the relationship or
(21:36):
businesses aren't structurallysound.
Leisa Reed (21:42):
Oh, I love what you guys are doing. Tamara, do have
any last questions?
Tamara Kindred (21:46):
Well, just to kind of wrap it up, it's been
lovely to talk to both of youand could learn so much, I'm
sure. I was wondering since youguys are together, and what are
you gonna do later on today forfun?
Chaya Garcia (22:04):
Tonight is actually Friday night, and our
our culture in Hodesh isJudaism. So we care we keep
Shabbat, which is basicallytwenty five hours, no phones, no
computers, no work, no Zoomcalls, no driving even, and we
devote about one full day Fridaynight to Saturday night just to
(22:27):
family and community. So we'regonna be having a nice meal
together, light candles. Myhusband stays home or we we
celebrate with the family.Tomorrow, we're going out to
lunch with a community member.
We walk there instead ofdriving. Everything is spiritual
and emotionally connected toreboot. I feel very blessed to
(22:47):
take out to have this practicein my life. I didn't always keep
it so easy to be go go go. Let'smake more money.
Let's do this. And like when youkeep your faith, your heritage,
your culture, whatever isimportant to you, you find you
find the truth in the chaos. Youfind the calm in the chaos
because nobody who had a lot ofmoney was ever fulfilled if they
(23:08):
didn't also have a private,powerful life. So that's what
we're gonna be doing today.We're gonna be keeping Shabbat
and lighting candles and havinga really nice meal with our
children and feeling the powerof the truth of why we do all of
the healing work we do so thatmore healthy babies can come
into more healthy marriages andcontinue a better cycle going
(23:29):
forward.
Tamara Kindred (23:31):
Beautiful. Very nice.
Leisa Reed (23:34):
Adam, did you wanna say anything before we head out?
Adam Garcia (23:40):
First of all, thank you for having us on your on
your platform and to be able toconnect, and that's beautiful.
And the one thing about Shabbatthat I love is that you get to
slow down because the mostimportant things are the easiest
to look past. And the thingsthat are most chaotic typically
(24:05):
are not the things that give usfulfillment. And and so it gives
us an opportunity to to slowdown and to to to enjoy. So
that's what we're gonna bedoing.
Tamara Kindred (24:17):
That's great. Well,
Leisa Reed (24:20):
like, well, our besties, you never know when
you're gonna meet your best nextbest friend. You never know when
you might meet the love of yourlife, your soulmate, your
partner, and, we're just reallyblessed that we got to spend
that time
Chaya Garcia (24:36):
with you today. Bye, everybody. Thank you so
much.
Adam Garcia (24:41):
Thank you.
Leisa Reed (24:45):
Hey, Bestie. Thanks for listening. If you like this
episode, be sure to hit thatsubscribe button to get notified
of new episodes and check outcool Bestie gift ideas at
howImetmybff.com.
Tamara Kindred (24:56):
That's right. And, also, leave us a review.
Those reviews help us out a lotand are one of the best ways to
support us.
Leisa Reed (25:02):
Yes. And if you have a fun story about how you met
your b f f, send us an email atinfo@howImetmybff.com. We would
love to hear about it.
Tamara Kindred (25:11):
Definitely. And, hey, maybe we'll have you on our
next episode.
Leisa Reed (25:16):
That would be awesome. Until next time.
Tamara Kindred (25:18):
Love you, BFFs.
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