September 23, 2025 • 28 mins
Ever notice that your ADHD medication might as well be a Tic-Tac right before your period? Or that some weeks your brain feels sharp while others feel like you're thinking through fog? Here's the thing: it's not in your head. Your hormones are literally messing with your ADHD brain, and not enough people are talking about it.
Stop wondering why your ADHD feels like a moving target—hit subscribe to hear how your hormones affect your brain chemistry, symptoms, and medication effectiveness.
- Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
- Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!
—
Who Should Listen
This episode is for women with ADHD who've noticed their symptoms change throughout the month, moms of girls with ADHD, and anyone who's ever wondered why some weeks feel impossible while others feel manageable.
—
What You Get In This Episode
- Why estrogen is your brain's best friend and how it boosts the dopamine your ADHD brain needs
- The monthly ADHD rollercoaster: how weeks 1-2 vs weeks 3-4 of your cycle affect your symptoms differently
- Why your medication feels like it stops working during certain weeks (and why it's not your imagination)
- How masking strategies hide ADHD symptoms until hormonal transitions expose them
- Why major life transitions like puberty, pregnancy, and menopause can unmask or worsen ADHD symptoms
—
Bios
Caitlin brings her signature blend of humor and practical advice to help overwhelmed moms navigate the challenges of ADHD and adulting. With Ariella Monti (ariellamonti.com), novelist and unstoppable force, who understands firsthand how ADHD affects every aspect of daily life.
—
Sources & Mentions
- Visit this episode’s blog post for links to sources used in this episode!
- Healthline
- CHADD
- ADDitude Mag
- Evernow
- Frontiers in Global Women’s Health
The best support is a rating and a share.
Love,
CK & GK
View our website at ckandgkpodcast.com. Find us on social media @ckandgkpodcast on
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Thanks, y'all!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Caitlin Kindred (00:01):
Hello and welcome.
Why did it take me a second tosay I haven't finished my coffee
?
I can tell you that's part ofit, so I am medicated today,
though.
Ariella Monti (00:13):
All right.
Caitlin Kindred (00:14):
Well, yeah, I took half the dose.
Does that count?
Sure, no, yeah, sure, okay,well, hi everyone, we're so glad
you're here.
Welcome to how to Be a Grown Up.
This is the how-to show forwomen who really thought they'd
have it all together by now, andI blame Clueless for all of us
thinking we had it together.
(00:34):
I'm Caitlin, and with me todayis Ariella Monti.
She's a novelist and dictionarydefinition of unstoppable, and
she has unicorn hair definitionof unstoppable.
Ariella Monti (00:47):
and she has unicorn hair.
Oh thanks, but I'm that versionof unstoppable that you hear on
TikTok, that it's like I'munstoppable.
Yeah, that's me.
Caitlin Kindred (00:56):
I like it.
I like it, that'll work.
So have you ever noticed thatyour ADHD medication just stops
working out before your period,or maybe some weeks the brain
fog hits you really hard, andother weeks you're just on it
with everything?
Yes, enough people talk aboutit and I'm starting to see it
(01:25):
more and more in creative spaces.
But I want to make sure that wetalk about it, because we are
nothing on this show if we'renot advocating for women and
women's health.
So this is going to be part oneof our three-part series on
ADHD and women's hormones.
We are breaking this downbecause there's just a lot to
unpack here.
Two episodes isn't enough and Iwant to keep it as digestible
(01:47):
as possible.
So we're going to give it toyou in bite-sized pieces that
your brain can actually processwhat's happening here, mostly
because I also need to be ableto break down what's actually
happening here.
So today we are covering thebasics about what's happening in
your body, why your ADHDsymptoms change throughout the
month and why you might havegone undiagnosed for such a long
(02:08):
time.
But before we do that, are yousubscribed to this show?
Are you?
Well, you should be.
Thank you, you really should Goahead.
Follow.
Go ahead, subscribe whateverword your favorite podcast app
uses.
To make sure you don't missepisodes.
We'll be right back.
Hey, y'all.
Pov.
(02:29):
You find a diary exposingforbidden magic and the hot
museum caretaker's life dependson you burning it, roots and Ink
.
The debut novel by AriellaMonti is the fantasy romance for
rebels.
Use promo code CK and GK to get20% off your copy at
AriellaMontecom.
(02:49):
Again, that's all capsC-K-A-N-D-G-K for 20% off on
AriellaMontecom.
Get your copy for 20% off todayoff today.
(03:14):
All right, so this was such ahard topic.
The amount of sources that Iuse to pull this together is
very long, so I can't list allof them here.
So if you want to see all ofthem and you want to read the
articles associated, please goto the show notes or the blog
post in the show notes and grabthem.
But I can tell you I used acouple of articles from Attitude
Mag, of course, chad Ever NowUnderstood Health Line and a
(03:34):
website that I hadn't heard ofcalled Frontiers in Global
Women's Health.
All of these again are listedwith links in the blog post for
this episode.
So please go check that out.
But here's what you need to knowup front.
Hormone changes are not justbackground noise.
They are actually central tothe ADHD experience for women.
This is not a women are moreemotional.
(03:55):
This is about actual brainchemistry changes that impact
how your ADHD medication worksand how your symptoms show up
and why some weeks feelabsolutely impossible while
others are functioning.
I don't want to say good, but Iwant to say functioning right.
Yeah, okay.
(04:16):
So let's start with yourhormones.
You've got a couple that arecentral to the experience.
The primary one is estrogen.
This is your brain's bestfriend, and you can think of
this as your brain's personalassistant.
Here's why Estrogen boostsdopamine activity.
We have talked about dopamine alot.
Dopamine is theneurotransmitter that ADHD
(04:37):
brains are already short on.
When estrogen is high, yourbrain works better because
estrogen boosts dopamineactivity.
So your focus improves yourorganization skills.
Feel like, okay, you're pullingsome things together.
Maybe you put things in thecorrect doom pile, whatever, and
life seems to make a little bitmore sense.
(04:58):
Am I wrong?
Like come on.
Sometimes doom piles there'sdoom piles for certain things.
It's a doom pile, but it's atleast organized by item doom
pile.
Ariella Monti (05:09):
Right right.
Caitlin Kindred (05:11):
Here's the thing when estrogen drops which
is right before your period, youknow, after ovulation and
during menopause good timesthat's when your brain's Wi-Fi
signal gets weaker, right,everything still works, it's
just slower, it's more glitchy,because your estrogen levels are
(05:32):
lower, so you have lowerdopamine production.
Ariella Monti (05:35):
It's like dial-up .
Caitlin Kindred (05:37):
Yeah, it is like dial-up.
I think I actually use that alot later.
The Wi-Fi signal analogy made alot of sense to me, so be
prepared to hear it more thanonce in this whole series.
Okay, okay.
So if estrogen is your brain'sbest friend, progesterone is its
complicated friend.
Progesterone rises afterovulation and, for whatever
(06:00):
reason, it seems to counteractsome of the benefits of estrogen
.
So it makes your impulsivityharder to manage, it makes your
brain fog thicker.
It's not an evil, it's not likea frenemy, it's just a it's
complicated friend.
When they get into your life,things kind of get mixed up.
So, thank you, progesteroneJerk.
(06:23):
All right, here's what's goingon with these two hormones and
I'm going to take you back to,you know, sixth grade human
anatomy class and yourreproduction classes, when you
got to be separated from theboys and they would tell you
about your hormone cycle.
And we're going to use the wordmenstruation.
(06:44):
Are you ready?
That word's so much, but we'regoing to talk about it, okay.
So here's your typical monthlypattern.
Week one is your menstrualphase.
Okay, that's when your estrogenstarts out low but begins to
rise and you might feel someADHD symptom relief.
Week two is your follicularphase.
(07:05):
That's when estrogen peaks.
This is the week of the monthwhere you have the good brain
and you're like, yeah, I'm on it, your medication works better,
your focus is sharper andeverything again just feels kind
of manageable.
Week three is your ovulationweek phase.
All of a sudden your estrogendrops like a rock, and that's
(07:29):
when the brain fog kicks in andthe progesterone that
complicated friend starts torise and everything starts to
feel a little bit more difficult.
And then in your luteal slash,pms phase, estrogen stays low
and your progesterone peaks.
So this is why a lot of womenreport that their ADHD symptoms
(07:51):
feel worse in this particularwindow of their cycle, because
your medication seems like it'sineffective.
Your focus is completely shot,your emotional regulation goes
out the window.
You're already like that anyway, right, because women and
hormones, and it's just thattime of the month for you where
you're emotional.
Your emotional regulation goesout the window.
You're already like that anyway, right, because women and
hormones, and it's just thattime of the month for you where
you're emotional.
And then you add this extraneed for additional dopamine
(08:12):
into your brain and it justmakes everything worse.
So I hope that sounds familiarto you, or, if you are someone
who struggles with thiscombination, right, adhd and
cycle issues.
It's brain chemistry and I feellike I did a decent job of
explaining that, for this beingthe one subject that I got to
(08:32):
see in high school, because Ican't do chemistry to save my
life.
Ariella Monti (08:36):
I, you know, I, that all makes makes sense.
I got it.
Caitlin Kindred (08:42):
Yeah, yeah.
So I call this next part themedication.
What the F solved, can you tell?
I write content Okay, okay, ifyou're medicated, if you're one
of those ones like me who takesmedication and you notice that
your pills just basically stopworking during certain weeks,
(09:03):
you're not imagining it andbecause here's why your ADHD
medication I'm just going to putit out there was designed by
men for men.
Yeah, I made that part up, butI'm sure I'm not lying your ADHD
medication Odds.
Ariella Monti (09:20):
Are you're right?
Caitlin Kindred (09:20):
No, not lying no Relies on having enough
estrogen around in your body todo its job effectively.
Right, if estrogen boostsdopamine, then it's assuming
that you have a consistent levelof estrogen in your brain and
body to do the job effectively.
(09:42):
But when estrogen drops rightbefore and during your period,
it's like it's trying to streamNetflix with dialogue with
terrible internet.
The show is still there, buteverything is just so slow.
It's buffering.
Nothing's working properly.
Yeah, your prescription has notchanged, but unfortunately your
(10:09):
brain's ability to use it has,if that makes sense.
Yes, yeah, we're going to getmore into medication and
advocating for yourself inepisode three of this series.
So if you haven't subscribedand followed like I told you to
at the beginning of this episode, you need to go do that now so
that you don't miss the partabout medication and advocacy.
(10:30):
Just putting that out thereWomen get missed and we've
talked about this already.
It was way back in episode 154.
It's called ADHD in Women, theLate Diagnosis Epidemic, and 10
Signs you Ignored, but there arereasons that women are
underdiagnosed and I'm justgoing to say let's all raise a
collective middle finger to thepatriarchy right here.
(10:52):
Yes for doing it.
You can't see us because thisis an audio format, but we're
doing it, thank you and thankyou if you participate it.
Reason one is the maskingproblem, and if you want to deep
dive into masking, go listen toepisode 157.
That's adhd, masking and women,why it breaks you and six ways
to embrace your authentic selfagain.
(11:13):
Can you tell I write blogcontent for a living?
Uh, look at those titles seofor the win.
Yeah, okay, so here's the thetoo long didn't read, too long
didn't listen of that episode.
Women develop incredible copingstrategies that hide adhd
symptoms.
Example color coding everything, setting 47 phone alarms,
(11:38):
people pleasing to avoidconflict.
These strategies work reallywell until your hormones
fluctuate heavily during puberty, during pregnancy, during
menopause, and then everythingkind of falls apart and your
ADHD symptoms become prettyobvious.
So that's one reason is masking.
Two is hormonal confusion.
(12:00):
Adhd symptoms and hormonalbrain fog can look identical,
especially during perimenopause.
Just another thing to lookforward to it's fun.
Yeah, it's a good time I'mstarting to go through it myself
, and y'all women are amazingAlso.
(12:20):
It kind of sucks, anyway.
The key differences here,though, are the timing ADHD
symptoms have been there yourwhole life, even if they are
masked and of look for is thisADHD symptoms or is this just?
Perimenopause is important.
The other thing is thepersistence of these symptoms.
(12:46):
Adhd symptoms don't disappearcompletely ever, even on those
good hormone days, but purehormonal effects come and go
fairly predictably with yourcycle.
So I mean, ariel and I can bothtell you, even on our best
hormonal days, it's still a hotmess up in here.
Ariella Monti (13:06):
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, it's like a warm mess
instead of a hot mess.
Caitlin Kindred (13:11):
Right Right Some days it's even lukewarm,
right Right.
Some days it's Right yeah.
Okay, we're going to get intothe big life transitions in the
next episode, but that's sort ofthe basics here.
I want to give you kind of anintro, a little bit of a preview
(13:32):
into what we're going to talkabout next, which is these
massive life phases, these lifecycle stages.
One of them is puberty.
During puberty you have thosesudden hormone surges that can
unmask previously undetected,hidden ADHD symptoms.
So if you're a mom and yourgood student suddenly can't
(13:54):
focus in middle school and highschool, it might not just be
teenage stuff, it might beteenage stuff and so this is
often at least that I've seen,in particular with girls
undiagnosed ADHD meeting thosenew fluctuating hormones.
Another phase we have to talkabout is pregnancy.
(14:16):
Women just have it where the wehave it so good wild hormone
swings during pregnancy.
Those affect everyonedifferently.
Some of us cry because we takean oreo out of the package, put
it on the shelf, turn around,close the pantry door and can't
find our oreo.
I might be speaking fromexperience on that one, I cried,
(14:39):
I lost my Oreo.
Yeah, that was a hormone surgethere.
Yeah, some women feel morefocused during pregnancy because
of the estrogen boost right,but others feel more scattered
because of the effects ofprogesterone.
And postpartum brings a massivecrash as your estrogen
(14:59):
completely plummets.
Ariella Monti (15:02):
I think I had a bigger hormone shift during
postpartum than I did while Iwas pregnant.
Oh, I did too, if I really likeif I really think back on it,
like, yeah, I, I truly thinkthat that yes, yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (15:21):
That was when any semblance of togetherness
that I had completely fell apartwas what was after oh yeah, and
I was going through other lifechanges too.
Right, like I had.
Obviously you just have a baby,big enough life change.
And then I moved to a new state, left my job, left my friends,
left my family.
I did a lot of things all atonce that were a lot for me,
(15:44):
that shouldn't have happened allat the same time.
Um, yeah, and that all happenedwithin eight weeks of my son
being born.
At the same time.
All of that, in addition to thefact that my brain was just
like surging with all kinds ofother things, like I know, I
know I probably had undiagnosedPPA.
I probably probably had someundiagnosed PPD too.
(16:06):
Like, yeah, it was, yeah, itwas really bad.
Ariella Monti (16:09):
Yeah, ppd was on my radar because I already I was
already diagnosed withdepression, so it was on my
radar, but PPA wasn't.
And I definitely think that Ihad, especially now that I know
that my anxiety manifests in away that is not like what you
(16:35):
would think as anxiety.
That is not like what you wouldthink as anxiety, it's like
more overwhelm and irritability.
And yeah, looking back, on it.
Caitlin Kindred (16:47):
Yes, yeah, definitely Okay.
The last phase that we will getinto in the next episode is
menopause.
Yay, in menopause, overallestrogen depletionion this is
when your estrogen totally, justcompletely drops like a rock
can cause severe brain fog andexecutive function problems
again, issues we already knoware problematic for adhd women.
(17:11):
However, it just gets worse.
During this time.
Many women will experiencetheir first or their first adhd
symptoms that they can't ignoreat this point in their life, and
they get their adhd diagnosisin their 40s and 50s, which is
completely wild and they figureit out when hormone replacement
(17:33):
isn't enough to fix the brainfog and the other issues that
they're having.
It's kind of wild.
So I thought that it might beworth just having a couple of
reflection questions, justbecause, again, this is such a
big deal and such a big topicand it's just worth having a or
(17:56):
when ADHD feels harder for you.
Another one is does yourmedication seem less effective
certain weeks of your cycle?
Last one is did your symptomsbecome more obvious during major
(18:19):
hormonal transitions for yourbody?
Just some things to consider,especially if you're new in this
ADHD journey.
As we get into the next coupleof episodes, I want to encourage
you to keep those questions topof mind.
So here's what's coming next.
We're diving into the lifestages.
So puberty, especially for momsof daughters with ADHD, this is
(18:42):
going to be a big one for you.
Especially for moms ofdaughters with ADHD, this is
going to be a big one for you.
Or maybe you'll look back andgo oh yeah, that was me Cool.
Pregnancy, perimenopause andmenopause.
And why I put a swear word inthe notes right here because I
felt like I had to.
And why all of your copingstrategies go to shart during
(19:04):
each phase, phase shart.
Why did I choose shart?
Why did I?
That's a gross word, um, andalso hint it's.
It's because all of yourhormones go completely sideways,
so having female hormones is ananother swear word.
Effing treat you know, am I?
right folks, that's great um,after that episode we're going
to get into medicationmanagement and advocating for
yourself.
(19:24):
So subscribe now so you don'tmiss that information.
But one your ADHD symptoms.
Again, we've talked enough, butI want to make sure it's clear
to you that they're not all inyour head, especially not when
they're changing throughout themonth.
You're not crazy Like theyreally don't feel the same every
week.
Your brain is responding toreal chemical changes, and
(19:46):
understanding this pattern ofthose chemical changes is the
first step to working with yourbody instead of against it.
So all those other copingstrategies we've talked about in
the past will work better whenyou understand why certain ones
of them don't work necessarilyfor you during the month, but
then will work for you again thefollowing week.
You're not imagining things.
There's nothing wrong with you.
There's nothing.
(20:06):
You're not broken right.
You're just a woman with ADHDand that requires you to follow
your own set of rules.
So that's what thisconversation is here for just to
let you know you're not alonein all this and we'd love to
hear your experiences.
Please share any reflectionsthat you have with us.
You can DM us, you can send usan email.
All that information is in theshow notes.
(20:27):
Can I just really quickly.
This episode is going to comeout a little bit later than well
.
It's going to come out in a fewweeks, so this is going to
sound very behind the times, butI don't care.
But I need to share the thingthat I cannot get out of my head
right now, and that is theK-pop Demon Hunters.
Ariella Monti (20:55):
I assure you that by the time this episode comes
out, that K-pop Demon Hunterswill still be the hottest thing
in the world.
Caitlin Kindred (21:02):
I am hoping that's true, because I love it
so much Like.
For those of you who don't know, this is a movie on Netflix.
It is exactly what it soundslike.
The title is not hidinganything.
These are K-pop stars who aredemon hunters, and if BTS is
(21:24):
your, is that what it's called?
Ariella Monti (21:26):
whatever that k-pop band is I don't know, I
think so.
Whatever, if that's your jam.
Caitlin Kindred (21:32):
This is going to be your even more.
Your jam like this is the songsare good, the story is good.
It's not just like a like.
It's not a musical.
It's not like oklahoma, wherelike things can be depressing
and then all of a sudden peoplejust start singing randomly.
It's not les mis right rightwhich is also like I.
The story is so lovely.
No one's singing like.
(21:53):
I'm reminded of the line fromwill and grace that blight
dinner says oh, the poor peopledon't sing that much.
Like it's just.
That's why she hates musicals,which is hilarious.
Um, it's not like that, right.
It's like these are k-pop stars.
What they do is they sing.
So it doesn't they're.
The singing is not out of place, but the songs are good.
You guys.
Ariella Monti (22:11):
The movie got a 97 on rotten tomatoes I think I
heard on an episode of it's beena minute that, I think.
Currently, when we arerecording this, I think there
are four songs from that, fromthat that are charting that are
on like yeah, that are on thebillboard like top 100 okay, now
(22:35):
I have to look like becausethat's amazing.
Caitlin Kindred (22:38):
um, hang on, yeah it's, it is such a fun.
Oh, that Billboard's not goingto get it Billboard Top 100.
Ariella Monti (22:46):
Oh my.
Caitlin Kindred (22:47):
God, let's see.
Oh my gosh.
Yes, they have the number onesong, number one, golden by
Huntrix, which is the name ofthe K-pop.
Yeah, oh my gosh, that'shysterical.
Okay, wait, and they have thenumber four song, the number
five song, the number nine song,this oh, and number 19 and 21.
Ariella Monti (23:13):
This is wild.
Caitlin Kindred (23:14):
Six this is insane.
You guys, if you haven'twatched it, I'm going to
encourage you to watch it.
There's a chance your child ifyou have kids our age, they're
probably already talking aboutit.
Oh, and look, there's anotherone too.
Seven, it's number 50, but it'sa different version of it.
Anyway, it's kind of wild.
I would check it out.
It's a fun watch.
I have encouraged people towatch it without their child
(23:35):
because my son likes to singalong with it now, but their
voices are so good I just wantto hear them.
I love when my son sings.
It's my favorite thing.
I heard this once from one of myclients, but the client said a
singing kid is a happy kid and Icompletely agree with that.
So when my son is singing, itmakes me filled with joy.
Also, I want to watch thismovie, so I turn on the
(24:02):
subtitles so I can understandeverything they're saying.
And there's been a couple ofsongs where I'm like what are
they?
saying that's because they'respeaking Korean in the middle of
the song and I'm like yeah,yeah, okay, but it's a, it's a
fun movie, I feel like I need.
I need the girls to repair thehoneymoon, because something
ain't right with this worldright now, so they need to they
(24:24):
need to get the demons lockedaway for real.
So anyway, that's my, that's mycurrent obsession.
I don't know, do you have anobsession right now?
Are you just gonna enjoy my honmoon obsession at the moment?
Ariella Monti (24:35):
no, if we're talking about music obsessions,
I decided I think it was earlierthis week or last week to
introduce my son to Bon Jovi.
And I haven't listened to BonJovi like regularly in a very,
very, very long time, and so Ikind of forgot how much I loved
(25:01):
Bon Jovi.
And I have been rocking out tothese 80s power ballads, yes,
like, yes, in the car.
Oh my God, it's so good.
You know, if your significantother is not laying you down on
a bed of roses while they sleepon a bed of nails, you just need
(25:23):
to leave them Like just leavethem.
Caitlin Kindred (25:25):
That's a green flag right there, did you know?
I don't think I've told youthis so when I was in a sorority
in college, you know there aresome songs that turn up
everybody, every race right, andfor white people some of them
are.
One of them is Living on aPrayer.
Don't Stop.
Ariella Monti (25:43):
Believing.
Don't Stop Believing, living ona prayer don't stop believing.
Caitlin Kindred (25:45):
Don't stop believing, living on a prayer,
several things by the eagles,stuff like that, right.
So, um, sweet caroline, it's oneof those living on a prayer is
one of them right and I toldthis to my father and we my dad
was like so this is gonna soundweird, this is when I was still
in college, so but like I, sothis is going to sound weird,
this is when I was still incollege, so but like, I have
this opportunity to go see BonJovi in concert.
(26:08):
And I was like, yes, I'm going,yes, I will go with you.
So I have seen Bon Jovi inconcert as an adult and it was
so fun.
I don't think my dad expected meto be as into it as I was.
I was very into it.
It was big fun, so I fullysupport this.
Ariella Monti (26:28):
This is a great.
This is great.
Sorry, your son likes it?
Yeah, yeah, he does Like.
I've been slowly likeintroducing him to the bands
that I listen to, but it's toughwhen a lot of the bands you
listen to have a lot of badwords.
Caitlin Kindred (26:46):
Yeah, a lot of the bands you listen to have a
lot of bad words in.
Yeah, yeah, like when I waslistening to, like limp biscuit
or like you know, anything byjanet jackson is probably not
appropriate for my right, youknow yeah like all of the 90s,
like gangster rap, that, yeah,like I.
Ariella Monti (27:01):
I can't play that for my child just yet, but Bon
Jovi is relatively nine-year-oldfriendly.
Caitlin Kindred (27:11):
Yes, yeah, highly recommend he's been into
it.
All right, I like it.
Well, here's hoping that we canrepair the honeymoon, and until
then, we'll all just be livingon a prayer.
Heyo, you're welcome.
Hey, okay, we're going to.
This is again.
This is a shorty one, so comeback next week when we start
talking about the life phasesand how those are impacting your
(27:32):
ADHD symptoms.
Okay, as Jenny would say, makegood choices.
Love you mean it.
Goodbye, bye.
Hello and welcome.
Why did it take me a second tosay I haven't finished my coffee
?
I can tell you that's part ofit, so I am medicated today,
though.
Ariella Monti (00:13):
All right.
Caitlin Kindred (00:14):
Well, yeah, I took half the dose.
Does that count?
Sure, no, yeah, sure, okay,well, hi everyone, we're so glad
you're here.
Welcome to how to Be a Grown Up.
This is the how-to show forwomen who really thought they'd
have it all together by now, andI blame Clueless for all of us
thinking we had it together.
(00:34):
I'm Caitlin, and with me todayis Ariella Monti.
She's a novelist and dictionarydefinition of unstoppable, and
she has unicorn hair definitionof unstoppable.
Ariella Monti (00:47):
and she has unicorn hair.
Oh thanks, but I'm that versionof unstoppable that you hear on
TikTok, that it's like I'munstoppable.
Yeah, that's me.
Caitlin Kindred (00:56):
I like it.
I like it, that'll work.
So have you ever noticed thatyour ADHD medication just stops
working out before your period,or maybe some weeks the brain
fog hits you really hard, andother weeks you're just on it
with everything?
Yes, enough people talk aboutit and I'm starting to see it
(01:25):
more and more in creative spaces.
But I want to make sure that wetalk about it, because we are
nothing on this show if we'renot advocating for women and
women's health.
So this is going to be part oneof our three-part series on
ADHD and women's hormones.
We are breaking this downbecause there's just a lot to
unpack here.
Two episodes isn't enough and Iwant to keep it as digestible
(01:47):
as possible.
So we're going to give it toyou in bite-sized pieces that
your brain can actually processwhat's happening here, mostly
because I also need to be ableto break down what's actually
happening here.
So today we are covering thebasics about what's happening in
your body, why your ADHDsymptoms change throughout the
month and why you might havegone undiagnosed for such a long
(02:08):
time.
But before we do that, are yousubscribed to this show?
Are you?
Well, you should be.
Thank you, you really should Goahead.
Follow.
Go ahead, subscribe whateverword your favorite podcast app
uses.
To make sure you don't missepisodes.
We'll be right back.
Hey, y'all.
Pov.
(02:29):
You find a diary exposingforbidden magic and the hot
museum caretaker's life dependson you burning it, roots and Ink
.
The debut novel by AriellaMonti is the fantasy romance for
rebels.
Use promo code CK and GK to get20% off your copy at
AriellaMontecom.
(02:49):
Again, that's all capsC-K-A-N-D-G-K for 20% off on
AriellaMontecom.
Get your copy for 20% off todayoff today.
(03:14):
All right, so this was such ahard topic.
The amount of sources that Iuse to pull this together is
very long, so I can't list allof them here.
So if you want to see all ofthem and you want to read the
articles associated, please goto the show notes or the blog
post in the show notes and grabthem.
But I can tell you I used acouple of articles from Attitude
Mag, of course, chad Ever NowUnderstood Health Line and a
(03:34):
website that I hadn't heard ofcalled Frontiers in Global
Women's Health.
All of these again are listedwith links in the blog post for
this episode.
So please go check that out.
But here's what you need to knowup front.
Hormone changes are not justbackground noise.
They are actually central tothe ADHD experience for women.
This is not a women are moreemotional.
(03:55):
This is about actual brainchemistry changes that impact
how your ADHD medication worksand how your symptoms show up
and why some weeks feelabsolutely impossible while
others are functioning.
I don't want to say good, but Iwant to say functioning right.
Yeah, okay.
(04:16):
So let's start with yourhormones.
You've got a couple that arecentral to the experience.
The primary one is estrogen.
This is your brain's bestfriend, and you can think of
this as your brain's personalassistant.
Here's why Estrogen boostsdopamine activity.
We have talked about dopamine alot.
Dopamine is theneurotransmitter that ADHD
(04:37):
brains are already short on.
When estrogen is high, yourbrain works better because
estrogen boosts dopamineactivity.
So your focus improves yourorganization skills.
Feel like, okay, you're pullingsome things together.
Maybe you put things in thecorrect doom pile, whatever, and
life seems to make a little bitmore sense.
(04:58):
Am I wrong?
Like come on.
Sometimes doom piles there'sdoom piles for certain things.
It's a doom pile, but it's atleast organized by item doom
pile.
Ariella Monti (05:09):
Right right.
Caitlin Kindred (05:11):
Here's the thing when estrogen drops which
is right before your period, youknow, after ovulation and
during menopause good timesthat's when your brain's Wi-Fi
signal gets weaker, right,everything still works, it's
just slower, it's more glitchy,because your estrogen levels are
(05:32):
lower, so you have lowerdopamine production.
Ariella Monti (05:35):
It's like dial-up .
Caitlin Kindred (05:37):
Yeah, it is like dial-up.
I think I actually use that alot later.
The Wi-Fi signal analogy made alot of sense to me, so be
prepared to hear it more thanonce in this whole series.
Okay, okay.
So if estrogen is your brain'sbest friend, progesterone is its
complicated friend.
Progesterone rises afterovulation and, for whatever
(06:00):
reason, it seems to counteractsome of the benefits of estrogen
.
So it makes your impulsivityharder to manage, it makes your
brain fog thicker.
It's not an evil, it's not likea frenemy, it's just a it's
complicated friend.
When they get into your life,things kind of get mixed up.
So, thank you, progesteroneJerk.
(06:23):
All right, here's what's goingon with these two hormones and
I'm going to take you back to,you know, sixth grade human
anatomy class and yourreproduction classes, when you
got to be separated from theboys and they would tell you
about your hormone cycle.
And we're going to use the wordmenstruation.
(06:44):
Are you ready?
That word's so much, but we'regoing to talk about it, okay.
So here's your typical monthlypattern.
Week one is your menstrualphase.
Okay, that's when your estrogenstarts out low but begins to
rise and you might feel someADHD symptom relief.
Week two is your follicularphase.
(07:05):
That's when estrogen peaks.
This is the week of the monthwhere you have the good brain
and you're like, yeah, I'm on it, your medication works better,
your focus is sharper andeverything again just feels kind
of manageable.
Week three is your ovulationweek phase.
All of a sudden your estrogendrops like a rock, and that's
(07:29):
when the brain fog kicks in andthe progesterone that
complicated friend starts torise and everything starts to
feel a little bit more difficult.
And then in your luteal slash,pms phase, estrogen stays low
and your progesterone peaks.
So this is why a lot of womenreport that their ADHD symptoms
(07:51):
feel worse in this particularwindow of their cycle, because
your medication seems like it'sineffective.
Your focus is completely shot,your emotional regulation goes
out the window.
You're already like that anyway, right, because women and
hormones, and it's just thattime of the month for you where
you're emotional.
Your emotional regulation goesout the window.
You're already like that anyway, right, because women and
hormones, and it's just thattime of the month for you where
you're emotional.
And then you add this extraneed for additional dopamine
(08:12):
into your brain and it justmakes everything worse.
So I hope that sounds familiarto you, or, if you are someone
who struggles with thiscombination, right, adhd and
cycle issues.
It's brain chemistry and I feellike I did a decent job of
explaining that, for this beingthe one subject that I got to
(08:32):
see in high school, because Ican't do chemistry to save my
life.
Ariella Monti (08:36):
I, you know, I, that all makes makes sense.
I got it.
Caitlin Kindred (08:42):
Yeah, yeah.
So I call this next part themedication.
What the F solved, can you tell?
I write content Okay, okay, ifyou're medicated, if you're one
of those ones like me who takesmedication and you notice that
your pills just basically stopworking during certain weeks,
(09:03):
you're not imagining it andbecause here's why your ADHD
medication I'm just going to putit out there was designed by
men for men.
Yeah, I made that part up, butI'm sure I'm not lying your ADHD
medication Odds.
Ariella Monti (09:20):
Are you're right?
Caitlin Kindred (09:20):
No, not lying no Relies on having enough
estrogen around in your body todo its job effectively.
Right, if estrogen boostsdopamine, then it's assuming
that you have a consistent levelof estrogen in your brain and
body to do the job effectively.
(09:42):
But when estrogen drops rightbefore and during your period,
it's like it's trying to streamNetflix with dialogue with
terrible internet.
The show is still there, buteverything is just so slow.
It's buffering.
Nothing's working properly.
Yeah, your prescription has notchanged, but unfortunately your
(10:09):
brain's ability to use it has,if that makes sense.
Yes, yeah, we're going to getmore into medication and
advocating for yourself inepisode three of this series.
So if you haven't subscribedand followed like I told you to
at the beginning of this episode, you need to go do that now so
that you don't miss the partabout medication and advocacy.
(10:30):
Just putting that out thereWomen get missed and we've
talked about this already.
It was way back in episode 154.
It's called ADHD in Women, theLate Diagnosis Epidemic, and 10
Signs you Ignored, but there arereasons that women are
underdiagnosed and I'm justgoing to say let's all raise a
collective middle finger to thepatriarchy right here.
(10:52):
Yes for doing it.
You can't see us because thisis an audio format, but we're
doing it, thank you and thankyou if you participate it.
Reason one is the maskingproblem, and if you want to deep
dive into masking, go listen toepisode 157.
That's adhd, masking and women,why it breaks you and six ways
to embrace your authentic selfagain.
(11:13):
Can you tell I write blogcontent for a living?
Uh, look at those titles seofor the win.
Yeah, okay, so here's the thetoo long didn't read, too long
didn't listen of that episode.
Women develop incredible copingstrategies that hide adhd
symptoms.
Example color coding everything, setting 47 phone alarms,
(11:38):
people pleasing to avoidconflict.
These strategies work reallywell until your hormones
fluctuate heavily during puberty, during pregnancy, during
menopause, and then everythingkind of falls apart and your
ADHD symptoms become prettyobvious.
So that's one reason is masking.
Two is hormonal confusion.
(12:00):
Adhd symptoms and hormonalbrain fog can look identical,
especially during perimenopause.
Just another thing to lookforward to it's fun.
Yeah, it's a good time I'mstarting to go through it myself
, and y'all women are amazingAlso.
(12:20):
It kind of sucks, anyway.
The key differences here,though, are the timing ADHD
symptoms have been there yourwhole life, even if they are
masked and of look for is thisADHD symptoms or is this just?
Perimenopause is important.
The other thing is thepersistence of these symptoms.
(12:46):
Adhd symptoms don't disappearcompletely ever, even on those
good hormone days, but purehormonal effects come and go
fairly predictably with yourcycle.
So I mean, ariel and I can bothtell you, even on our best
hormonal days, it's still a hotmess up in here.
Ariella Monti (13:06):
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, it's like a warm mess
instead of a hot mess.
Caitlin Kindred (13:11):
Right Right Some days it's even lukewarm,
right Right.
Some days it's Right yeah.
Okay, we're going to get intothe big life transitions in the
next episode, but that's sort ofthe basics here.
I want to give you kind of anintro, a little bit of a preview
(13:32):
into what we're going to talkabout next, which is these
massive life phases, these lifecycle stages.
One of them is puberty.
During puberty you have thosesudden hormone surges that can
unmask previously undetected,hidden ADHD symptoms.
So if you're a mom and yourgood student suddenly can't
(13:54):
focus in middle school and highschool, it might not just be
teenage stuff, it might beteenage stuff and so this is
often at least that I've seen,in particular with girls
undiagnosed ADHD meeting thosenew fluctuating hormones.
Another phase we have to talkabout is pregnancy.
(14:16):
Women just have it where the wehave it so good wild hormone
swings during pregnancy.
Those affect everyonedifferently.
Some of us cry because we takean oreo out of the package, put
it on the shelf, turn around,close the pantry door and can't
find our oreo.
I might be speaking fromexperience on that one, I cried,
(14:39):
I lost my Oreo.
Yeah, that was a hormone surgethere.
Yeah, some women feel morefocused during pregnancy because
of the estrogen boost right,but others feel more scattered
because of the effects ofprogesterone.
And postpartum brings a massivecrash as your estrogen
(14:59):
completely plummets.
Ariella Monti (15:02):
I think I had a bigger hormone shift during
postpartum than I did while Iwas pregnant.
Oh, I did too, if I really likeif I really think back on it,
like, yeah, I, I truly thinkthat that yes, yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (15:21):
That was when any semblance of togetherness
that I had completely fell apartwas what was after oh yeah, and
I was going through other lifechanges too.
Right, like I had.
Obviously you just have a baby,big enough life change.
And then I moved to a new state, left my job, left my friends,
left my family.
I did a lot of things all atonce that were a lot for me,
(15:44):
that shouldn't have happened allat the same time.
Um, yeah, and that all happenedwithin eight weeks of my son
being born.
At the same time.
All of that, in addition to thefact that my brain was just
like surging with all kinds ofother things, like I know, I
know I probably had undiagnosedPPA.
I probably probably had someundiagnosed PPD too.
(16:06):
Like, yeah, it was, yeah, itwas really bad.
Ariella Monti (16:09):
Yeah, ppd was on my radar because I already I was
already diagnosed withdepression, so it was on my
radar, but PPA wasn't.
And I definitely think that Ihad, especially now that I know
that my anxiety manifests in away that is not like what you
(16:35):
would think as anxiety.
That is not like what you wouldthink as anxiety, it's like
more overwhelm and irritability.
And yeah, looking back, on it.
Caitlin Kindred (16:47):
Yes, yeah, definitely Okay.
The last phase that we will getinto in the next episode is
menopause.
Yay, in menopause, overallestrogen depletionion this is
when your estrogen totally, justcompletely drops like a rock
can cause severe brain fog andexecutive function problems
again, issues we already knoware problematic for adhd women.
(17:11):
However, it just gets worse.
During this time.
Many women will experiencetheir first or their first adhd
symptoms that they can't ignoreat this point in their life, and
they get their adhd diagnosisin their 40s and 50s, which is
completely wild and they figureit out when hormone replacement
(17:33):
isn't enough to fix the brainfog and the other issues that
they're having.
It's kind of wild.
So I thought that it might beworth just having a couple of
reflection questions, justbecause, again, this is such a
big deal and such a big topicand it's just worth having a or
(17:56):
when ADHD feels harder for you.
Another one is does yourmedication seem less effective
certain weeks of your cycle?
Last one is did your symptomsbecome more obvious during major
(18:19):
hormonal transitions for yourbody?
Just some things to consider,especially if you're new in this
ADHD journey.
As we get into the next coupleof episodes, I want to encourage
you to keep those questions topof mind.
So here's what's coming next.
We're diving into the lifestages.
So puberty, especially for momsof daughters with ADHD, this is
(18:42):
going to be a big one for you.
Especially for moms ofdaughters with ADHD, this is
going to be a big one for you.
Or maybe you'll look back andgo oh yeah, that was me Cool.
Pregnancy, perimenopause andmenopause.
And why I put a swear word inthe notes right here because I
felt like I had to.
And why all of your copingstrategies go to shart during
(19:04):
each phase, phase shart.
Why did I choose shart?
Why did I?
That's a gross word, um, andalso hint it's.
It's because all of yourhormones go completely sideways,
so having female hormones is ananother swear word.
Effing treat you know, am I?
right folks, that's great um,after that episode we're going
to get into medicationmanagement and advocating for
yourself.
(19:24):
So subscribe now so you don'tmiss that information.
But one your ADHD symptoms.
Again, we've talked enough, butI want to make sure it's clear
to you that they're not all inyour head, especially not when
they're changing throughout themonth.
You're not crazy Like theyreally don't feel the same every
week.
Your brain is responding toreal chemical changes, and
(19:46):
understanding this pattern ofthose chemical changes is the
first step to working with yourbody instead of against it.
So all those other copingstrategies we've talked about in
the past will work better whenyou understand why certain ones
of them don't work necessarilyfor you during the month, but
then will work for you again thefollowing week.
You're not imagining things.
There's nothing wrong with you.
There's nothing.
(20:06):
You're not broken right.
You're just a woman with ADHDand that requires you to follow
your own set of rules.
So that's what thisconversation is here for just to
let you know you're not alonein all this and we'd love to
hear your experiences.
Please share any reflectionsthat you have with us.
You can DM us, you can send usan email.
All that information is in theshow notes.
(20:27):
Can I just really quickly.
This episode is going to comeout a little bit later than well
.
It's going to come out in a fewweeks, so this is going to
sound very behind the times, butI don't care.
But I need to share the thingthat I cannot get out of my head
right now, and that is theK-pop Demon Hunters.
Ariella Monti (20:55):
I assure you that by the time this episode comes
out, that K-pop Demon Hunterswill still be the hottest thing
in the world.
Caitlin Kindred (21:02):
I am hoping that's true, because I love it
so much Like.
For those of you who don't know, this is a movie on Netflix.
It is exactly what it soundslike.
The title is not hidinganything.
These are K-pop stars who aredemon hunters, and if BTS is
(21:24):
your, is that what it's called?
Ariella Monti (21:26):
whatever that k-pop band is I don't know, I
think so.
Whatever, if that's your jam.
Caitlin Kindred (21:32):
This is going to be your even more.
Your jam like this is the songsare good, the story is good.
It's not just like a like.
It's not a musical.
It's not like oklahoma, wherelike things can be depressing
and then all of a sudden peoplejust start singing randomly.
It's not les mis right rightwhich is also like I.
The story is so lovely.
No one's singing like.
(21:53):
I'm reminded of the line fromwill and grace that blight
dinner says oh, the poor peopledon't sing that much.
Like it's just.
That's why she hates musicals,which is hilarious.
Um, it's not like that, right.
It's like these are k-pop stars.
What they do is they sing.
So it doesn't they're.
The singing is not out of place, but the songs are good.
You guys.
Ariella Monti (22:11):
The movie got a 97 on rotten tomatoes I think I
heard on an episode of it's beena minute that, I think.
Currently, when we arerecording this, I think there
are four songs from that, fromthat that are charting that are
on like yeah, that are on thebillboard like top 100 okay, now
(22:35):
I have to look like becausethat's amazing.
Caitlin Kindred (22:38):
um, hang on, yeah it's, it is such a fun.
Oh, that Billboard's not goingto get it Billboard Top 100.
Ariella Monti (22:46):
Oh my.
Caitlin Kindred (22:47):
God, let's see.
Oh my gosh.
Yes, they have the number onesong, number one, golden by
Huntrix, which is the name ofthe K-pop.
Yeah, oh my gosh, that'shysterical.
Okay, wait, and they have thenumber four song, the number
five song, the number nine song,this oh, and number 19 and 21.
Ariella Monti (23:13):
This is wild.
Caitlin Kindred (23:14):
Six this is insane.
You guys, if you haven'twatched it, I'm going to
encourage you to watch it.
There's a chance your child ifyou have kids our age, they're
probably already talking aboutit.
Oh, and look, there's anotherone too.
Seven, it's number 50, but it'sa different version of it.
Anyway, it's kind of wild.
I would check it out.
It's a fun watch.
I have encouraged people towatch it without their child
(23:35):
because my son likes to singalong with it now, but their
voices are so good I just wantto hear them.
I love when my son sings.
It's my favorite thing.
I heard this once from one of myclients, but the client said a
singing kid is a happy kid and Icompletely agree with that.
So when my son is singing, itmakes me filled with joy.
Also, I want to watch thismovie, so I turn on the
(24:02):
subtitles so I can understandeverything they're saying.
And there's been a couple ofsongs where I'm like what are
they?
saying that's because they'respeaking Korean in the middle of
the song and I'm like yeah,yeah, okay, but it's a, it's a
fun movie, I feel like I need.
I need the girls to repair thehoneymoon, because something
ain't right with this worldright now, so they need to they
(24:24):
need to get the demons lockedaway for real.
So anyway, that's my, that's mycurrent obsession.
I don't know, do you have anobsession right now?
Are you just gonna enjoy my honmoon obsession at the moment?
Ariella Monti (24:35):
no, if we're talking about music obsessions,
I decided I think it was earlierthis week or last week to
introduce my son to Bon Jovi.
And I haven't listened to BonJovi like regularly in a very,
very, very long time, and so Ikind of forgot how much I loved
(25:01):
Bon Jovi.
And I have been rocking out tothese 80s power ballads, yes,
like, yes, in the car.
Oh my God, it's so good.
You know, if your significantother is not laying you down on
a bed of roses while they sleepon a bed of nails, you just need
(25:23):
to leave them Like just leavethem.
Caitlin Kindred (25:25):
That's a green flag right there, did you know?
I don't think I've told youthis so when I was in a sorority
in college, you know there aresome songs that turn up
everybody, every race right, andfor white people some of them
are.
One of them is Living on aPrayer.
Don't Stop.
Ariella Monti (25:43):
Believing.
Don't Stop Believing, living ona prayer don't stop believing.
Caitlin Kindred (25:45):
Don't stop believing, living on a prayer,
several things by the eagles,stuff like that, right.
So, um, sweet caroline, it's oneof those living on a prayer is
one of them right and I toldthis to my father and we my dad
was like so this is gonna soundweird, this is when I was still
in college, so but like I, sothis is going to sound weird,
this is when I was still incollege, so but like, I have
this opportunity to go see BonJovi in concert.
(26:08):
And I was like, yes, I'm going,yes, I will go with you.
So I have seen Bon Jovi inconcert as an adult and it was
so fun.
I don't think my dad expected meto be as into it as I was.
I was very into it.
It was big fun, so I fullysupport this.
Ariella Monti (26:28):
This is a great.
This is great.
Sorry, your son likes it?
Yeah, yeah, he does Like.
I've been slowly likeintroducing him to the bands
that I listen to, but it's toughwhen a lot of the bands you
listen to have a lot of badwords.
Caitlin Kindred (26:46):
Yeah, a lot of the bands you listen to have a
lot of bad words in.
Yeah, yeah, like when I waslistening to, like limp biscuit
or like you know, anything byjanet jackson is probably not
appropriate for my right, youknow yeah like all of the 90s,
like gangster rap, that, yeah,like I.
Ariella Monti (27:01):
I can't play that for my child just yet, but Bon
Jovi is relatively nine-year-oldfriendly.
Caitlin Kindred (27:11):
Yes, yeah, highly recommend he's been into
it.
All right, I like it.
Well, here's hoping that we canrepair the honeymoon, and until
then, we'll all just be livingon a prayer.
Heyo, you're welcome.
Hey, okay, we're going to.
This is again.
This is a shorty one, so comeback next week when we start
talking about the life phasesand how those are impacting your
(27:32):
ADHD symptoms.
Okay, as Jenny would say, makegood choices.
Love you mean it.
Goodbye, bye.
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