July 1, 2025 • 33 mins
When ADHD emotions hit, ‘just breathe’ doesn’t cut it. Here’s neurologically-backed first aid for meltdowns—no toxic positivity, just tools that actually work when you’re spiraling.
- Get even more content from this episode’s blog post here.
- Subscribe to our newsletter!
- Homework: Pick one tool from the episode to pair with your biggest trigger this week—then DM us your win (or fail!). As always, no judgment.
—
Who Should Listen
- Moms who’ve cried in the pantry after snapping at their kid over a single sock.
- ADHDers told they’re “too sensitive” when their brain is literally in fight-or-flight.
- Anyone who needs strategies faster than their next emotional tailspin.
—
What You Get In This Episode
- The Ice Pack Hack: How cold water on your wrists can halt a meltdown mid-spiral.
- “Name It to Tame It”: The 5-second game to ID emotions before they hijack you.
- Angry Laundry Therapy: Why throwing sock balls resets your nervous system (science agrees).
- Emotional Menus: Pre-planned coping strategies for predictable triggers (bonus: ours includes sour candy).
- Sensory Shock Tactics: From sour candy to fidget toys—instant brain redirects.
- Rage Journaling 101: How voice memos or rants prevent emotional bottling.
- Self-Compassion ≠ Coddling: Why ADHD brains need this neurological first aid.
—
Bios
Caitlin Kindred: ADHD mom, regular frustration-crier, and enthusiastic sock-ball thrower.
Ariella Monti: The friend who hands you ice packs and sour candy during meltdowns.
—
Sources and Mentions
- 🧠 CHADD – ADHD emotional dysregulation research.
- 📚 ADDitude Mag – The holy grail of ADHD info.
- 🎧 How to ADHD (YouTube) – Visual explainers on emotional hijacking.
- 🔉 Loop Earplugs – Caitlin’s overstimulation lifesaver (not sponsored, just obsessed).
- 📖 Ariella’s Roots in Ink – Use code CKANDGK for 20% off at ariellamonti.com.
The best support is a rating and a share.
Love,
CK & GK
View our website at ckandgkpodcast.com. Find us on social media @ckandgkpodcast on
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Thanks, y'all!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the podcast, where sometimes I
don't know where that's going.
It's very Michael Scott to belike I just start talking and I
don't know where it's going togo.
We're so glad you're here.
Welcome to how to Be a Grown-Up, the how-to show for women who
are either 15 minutes early ortwo hours late, and there is no
(00:21):
in-between.
And we say this as people whodelayed our own recording
session by 30 minutes today.
So, yes, yep, I'm Caitlin, andwith me today co-hosting for
Jenny is Ariella Monti, authorof Roots in Ink and Bound by Ink
, which is coming I don't knowwhen.
Do you know when it's coming?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I am shooting for January 2026.
I scheduled my copy editor forOctober.
So, to force me into becausewe're talking about ADHD.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
So I'm yeah, I'm doing, I'm doing a fantasy event
in january and I, I want thatready for it?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
oh, okay, anyway.
Uh, she is a perfectly brewedlatte of motivation and mischief
.
Oh, I like that, yeah, yeah.
Last week we learned what youguys brains treat emotions like
(01:33):
a Netflix algorithm Like, oh,you're slightly annoyed, here's
10 more hours of rage.
Similar to what you, it's likemy threads feed.
Yeah, exactly, you like the onepost.
And all of a sudden, everything.
Just yeah, exactly, yeah, oh,you like that one golf post.
Here's a lot of content aboutgolf.
Okay, great, um, anyway, goback and listen to that episode
(01:57):
if you haven't.
But before we get to the thecontent for today, I want to
remind you that if you likebooks, like you like, your soup
gotta be hot.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
You can get.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Ariella's books for 20% off using the promo code
CKANDGK, and I think it's allcaps on her website,
ariellamontecom, which I'velinked in the show notes.
And who's eating soup in thesummertime?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Nobody Me, I will.
I would summertime, nobody me,oh I, I will.
I would I actually like soup.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
All you didn't.
It doesn't matter, I am okay.
Today we are hacking the system.
These are the actual tools thatwork to help you regulate your
emotions.
There's no toxic positivityhere, because I hate that.
This is just real life.
I parented after I wasoverstimulated by the light
(02:47):
switch.
Noise strategies yes, so let'sget to it again.
Uh, lots of sources for today.
Attitude mag chad, which is thechildren and adults with
attention deficit hyperactivitydisorder website, which is such
an unfortunate I know right tochat understoodorg and the
(03:15):
wonderful youtube channel how toadhd and us.
and while I cannot physicallyput myself in the blog post for
this episode, all the othersources myself in the blog post
for this episode, all the othersources are in the blog post for
this episode, so go check itout.
So I'm going to start withactually a little bit of Q&A for
you, ariella, because I love it.
I I'm dying to know how youhandle this kind of stuff.
(03:38):
So poorly done Q& a sectionover uh, how do you handle your
big adhd feelings withoutsetting your entire life on fire
?
therapy she's you.
(04:01):
What you guys don't know isthat she just put her entire
face into the microphone and wasvery close as close as I am
right now.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Yes, but specifically , yes, so therapy as well as
medication, but with therapy,dbt skills.
So DBT is dialecticalbehavioral therapy and it's one
(04:30):
of the modalities that mytherapist is an expert in, and
she taught me about TIPP skills.
T-i-p-p it's temperature,intense exercise, paced
breathing and progressive musclerelaxation.
They were really reallyreaching with using TIP as an
(04:52):
acronym, but I found so likepeople were always like I teach
yoga.
You know that.
So I'm all about like breathingand mindfulness and and all
that all that jazz, but when Iam about to set my life on fire,
there is no amount of like deepbreathing, like alternate yeah,
(05:16):
there's no amount of alternatenostril breathing.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
That's going to take me back from that like alternate
nostril breathing yeah, I'veheard of it.
But also like what?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
yeah I get it right.
Right, I understand.
Yes, so what I will do, thoughI have found that temperature
works well for me through usingthese tip skills.
So what I will do is, when I amabout to, you know, light
everything on fire or leave myfamily to go hide in the woods,
(05:48):
I will grab an ice pack from thefreezer and I will lock myself
in the bathroom and then I willtake that ice pack and I will
put it like on the back of myneck or like between my shoulder
blades, my shoulder blades, andthat will like shock my brain
(06:13):
out of like.
It will shock my lizard brain abit If it's winter and it's
cold outside, because in NorthCarolina it could be, you know,
70 degrees in the middle ofJanuary, but if it's winter and
it's cold outside, I will juststand outside like without a's
cold outside, I will just standoutside like without a jacket or
anything, and I'll just standoutside.
We talked last week about how myhyper fixation is like pulling
(06:35):
like plants out, and like youknow so one of them is intense
exercise, and like that doesn'twork for me, like like I'm not
gonna go for a run or something,but like there was one time
where I decided I needed to, Ineeded to plant this tree, like,
right then, and I had to dig ahole, and like the digging the
(07:00):
hole was that hard, intenseexercise, for sure.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yeah, that intense exercise that you know, I, I I'm
coming to you from my house, soI clearly have not left my
family to go live in the woods,so uh, yeah, um, I would love to
add you have a resource herefor dialectical behavior therapy
, so I'm going to put the linkfor that in the blog post for
(07:26):
this episode as well, so youguys can, yeah, okay, I have
another question as a writer andI.
This is I can relate to thisquestion because I write content
for my clients and critiques onyour work, right as a writer, a
writer, so how do you handle it?
Because RSD is real andremember for those, of us who
(07:51):
are not aware of what RSD is.
It's rejection-sensitivedysphoria.
It's a you feel rejection veryintensely and it becomes a they
hate me, they hate my work, Isuck at everything sort of shame
spiral.
So I'm just really curiousabout how you handle RSD and
critiquing.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
So with this particular, in this particular
instance, it was working in areally great newsroom as a
reporter, where I was constantlyhaving my work critiqued by
some really good editors whowere invested in me learning how
(08:32):
to be a better writer who wereinvested in me learning how to
be a better writer, so I wouldsit with them.
It was a weekly, so after thenewspaper went out, you know,
the next day I would sit withour copy editor sometimes and
like re-edit one of my stories.
So that process, I think,taught me the difference between
(08:54):
like true, legitimate critiquefrom a peer and like a
subjective opinion, which iswhat you would usually find in
like a book review, which Idon't read.
I don't go into like Goodreadsor Amazon, and I don't go
(09:17):
looking for my reviews, becausethose are subjective opinions
that are valid, but they'rebased mostly on personal
preferences.
They're not based in likecritical thought and evidence,
which is what a true critique is, and that is what I get from.
(09:39):
That's what I get during thedrafting process when I have
beta readers.
Those readers are going to giveme that critique, those
critiques that I'm going to useto make the story better.
So, like in some ways ways,like the simple answer is to be
like I don't read my reviews, Ijust avoid them.
(10:01):
um, I also forget that theyexist because you know, object
permanence like I just kind offorget they exist, right, but um
, but yeah that.
And like when you're a reporterand you're coming in in the
morning and like the local townnut job is screaming in your
(10:21):
voicemail about like the storyyou wrote on the new light posts
, like really like you know what, what can anybody tell you at
that?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
point.
I mean, yeah, I like thatseparation.
That's really smart.
It's like I'm not going topersonally be offended by
someone's opinions.
I'm going.
I will refer to the critiquesonly that are actually based in
logic and reasoning, whereasthis is trolls or whatever.
(10:59):
I like that, that's helpful.
Yeah, definitely Something Ineed to start applying.
I also will get like I getfrustrated because I will
happily make something for myclient that they want.
If you want this and you wantthat and you want it to look a
certain way and you have thisidea, give it all to me, I will.
I will happily make that.
(11:20):
I.
my frustration really comes inwith when I'm given no direction
and I make something that Ilike and that I think works and
gets the message across, andthen somebody that person that I
made it for comes back with15,000 things that I need to fix
or, but didn't give me anything.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
So, um, I think that's where I struggle with the
, with the critiquing versus um,yeah, you know what I mean and
learned is, in like those cases,the problem is not with me,
it's with the person that gavethat, gave me the assignment
(12:02):
yeah, because they did not makethe assignment clear, they did
not give me clear directives andor didn't give me an
opportunity to ensure that Ithat we were on the same page
and just like with.
Because that's not to say thatlike critique from a peer is
always like helpful and good,like there are a lot of
(12:25):
critiques from peers that areabsolutely awful and offensive.
I just don't like.
Awful and offensive, I justdon't like.
If you can't give constructivecriticism without being an
a-hole, then that's a youproblem, not a me problem.
You know that says more aboutthe person giving the critique
(12:50):
than the person receiving it.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Yeah, and I think that's a really good point for
anyone who is asking anyone todo anything for them, but, in
particular, someone with ADHDand RSD.
Like, be very intentional aboutwhat you do and don't want.
And if you don't know what youdo and don't want, look for some
examples of what you like andwhat you don't like and then
(13:14):
present that to whoever yourperson is that you're working
with in that sort of capacity.
Absolutely okay.
So I think I already know theanswer to this, because you
mentioned it earlier.
But your weirdest sensory hacknow I'm going to share mine and
this is new a new sensory hackwe've talked about how we talked
(13:34):
about last week how noise islike a big trigger for me.
But for some reason, graciegracie has my dog.
Gracie has a super squeaker.
Looks like a watermelon andit's really it's a super chewer.
So it's really thick rubber andit's very hard for me to
squeeze, but but I find ithilarious to try to squeeze it
(13:56):
because I'm not as strong.
Like, her jaw is so muchstronger than my hands.
It's crazy, but I will like tryto squeeze it and like, let my
rage go into this one littlething, but it's hard to be
raging when you hear this.
So it just made me laugh, soit's like a funny sound and it's
that like physical exertion ofme trying to make it make that
(14:19):
sound and for some reason it'sjust enough to make me cackle
and then I can like calm down alittle bit, right?
Um, it's just really hard torage when you hear that
ridiculous sound.
The other day she's runningaround her house with it in her
mouth and I swear it soundedlike a star wars movie with like
like it was just so hilarious.
(14:43):
Um, but it's just a silly sound, you know.
So you mentioned the, the icepack thing.
Yeah, is that your probablyyour craziest sensory hack?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I think, I think, so I can't really, I can't think of
anything else that that I do,that would even, that would even
be yeah, that makes sense butyeah, like yeah, just slamming
the door and going into thebathroom, with a, with a, with
an ice pack.
Yeah, like, do you remember hownice, like satisfying, it was
(15:16):
to hang up on people?
Yes, you know.
Like when you slam the receiverdown.
Yes, like we don't get thatanymore.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
No like forcefully tap your phone Right, right.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Could you even hear?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
that Like it doesn't even do anything?
There's no, yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, you're right, I think we're, we're.
I think there's pent-upaggression when we can't slam
the receiver.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
yeah I like it.
I like it okay.
So let's get into some.
I like those.
Those are some, some thingswhere you just previewed a
couple of things I'm talkingabout, but we're gonna get into
some tools to regulate adhdemotions.
Um, I'm gonna say this not alltools work regulate ADHD
emotions.
I'm going to say this not alltools work for all brains.
So I'm giving you a menu pickone that makes you go oh yeah,
okay, I'd actually try that.
(16:01):
So for when you are alreadyspiraling the five second name
it game, I'm feeling angry,overwhelmed, sad because,
whatever the trigger is.
So you are going to say I'mfeeling, name the emotion and
then say because, and thenwhatever the trigger is, then
you'll say this is my adhd brain, it will pass.
(16:23):
So I'm feeling angry becauseit's too loud in here.
This is my adhd brain, it willpass.
Bonus points for you if yougive your adhd a brain name like
Gladys or Glynnis or Bob, Ithink.
I think ADHD brains need a name.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I don't have a name for my ADHD brain.
I'll have to come up with one.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
I have also heard of people, like when they're
annoyed with their spouse fordoing something ridiculous, like
they'll say like the ghost didit and they'll.
They have a name for the ghost,yes I have heard that kind of
like, that yep kind of like that, yeah, yeah.
Another one is sensory grounding, which you've kind of mentioned
.
Um, cold water on the wrists,uh, ice pack on the back of the
(17:06):
neck, sour candy or a loud sighlike just a sounds funny, anyway
, I don't know so much.
All of those things interruptthe spiral.
Um, I literally have a like Ibought a pound of warheads for
(17:29):
this exact reason and they'resitting in a little thing on my
kitchen counter where I can goget one anytime I need it for
when I'm feeling a littlespirally.
Okay, you mentioned this kind ofthing too, with the slamming of
the phone.
But I'm going to say angrylaundry.
Take a ball of socks and throwit.
Bonus if you throw it with yournon-dominant hand Because it
(17:54):
looks I think it looks hilarious.
Physical release is better thanyou know.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Yelling at the sock, just pick up the sock and throw
it with your other non-dominantyeah a five, four, three, two,
one grounding for moms.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Five things you can see.
I see the sippy cup.
I see the laundry pile.
I see the lego.
Uh, four things you can touch.
Here's the counter.
Sippy cup.
I see the laundry pile.
I see the Lego.
Four things you can touch.
Here's the countertop.
It feels nice and cool.
The soft hoodie, the diaperthat I bundled up in my hand,
whatever, it is okay, itdistracts your brain mid-spiral.
So those are a few things youcan try.
(18:30):
I'm going to tell you right now.
I'm going to encourage you topause the episode for 15 seconds
.
Try one of them right now.
Do it Like?
Name five things.
You can see my coffee stainfrom this morning.
Four things you can touch mysweatpants.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
They're soft.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
I like them.
It helps.
It makes your brain shift gears, try it.
So those are already spiralingones.
Here's some for when you feelit coming the oh crap, I feel it
coming.
Okay, a movement break, a twominute dance party, wall pushups
resets your nervous system.
I work from home, so I'll gofold laundry or I'll put clothes
(19:10):
away, or I'll take the dogoutside for five minutes, just
anything that kind of gets meout of whatever that environment
is that I'm upset about andmakes me move my body in some
way.
And it doesn't have to be youknow, it can be a monotonous
task.
It doesn't have to be one thatrequires a lot of critical
thinking.
I'm seeing a lot of these onInstagram and elsewhere, but
(19:30):
emotional menus.
So these are pre-planned copingtools.
So, like when I'm overwhelmed,I will X, y, z text a friend,
listen to this song, hug my pet,whatever it is.
So like school drop-off or campdrop-off because it's summer,
whatever it is.
Stress hits.
(19:51):
You're going to go.
Okay, I'm feeling overwhelmed,I'm feeling stressed, I'm going
to chew some gum, blast Lizzo inthe car, or Taylor Swift or
Miley Cyrus or Foo Fighters,fugees, whoever it is, and then
you're going to text your ADHDmom friend who gets it a
predetermined emoji or GIF.
That means you're screaminginto the void.
I highly recommend this pro tip.
(20:12):
If you don't know how to do it,you can Google this.
Make it a keyboard shortcut sothat you type in like two
letters and the thing just popsup and you don't have to do
anything else.
You don't have to go searchingfor your favorite one.
My, I'm losing it one.
I've got a couple, but like therage, the rage emoji, sometimes
the clown emoji.
And then I also am a big fan ofthe wrecking ball, miley Cyrus,
(20:36):
and if you can scream singwrecking ball in the car, I also
would yeah, yeah.
And if you can scream singwrecking ball in the car, I also
would recommend that.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
So those are preventative onesfor when it's coming and you
know you need to get ahead of it.
When you're talking about, like, long-term hacks, we're going
to do some things to makeyourself less explosive for your
(20:59):
life.
Whatever, it is okay.
You're going to externalize theemotion.
I, if you need to rant, rant toyourself.
I'm a big fan of the showerrant.
I win every argument in therejust say that now.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah, yeah, I am an awesome debater in the shower in
the shower.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yeah, um, do that in the laundry room.
Get a voice memo, memo going.
Whatever you need to do, likerage journal, make your hand
into a fist and write with thefist instead of, like your
normal handwriting, literallyscream into a pillow.
Any of those things you need todo to get the emotion out of
your body.
Probably going to be helpful.
(21:38):
Probably going to be helpful.
Compassionate self-talk We'vetalked about this quite a bit,
but always need a reminder thisis my ADHD.
This is not my fault.
I am doing my best, right?
And I've started to get to thepoint now with my family where
I'll say, like it is too loud inhere, it is not you, it is me.
(22:01):
I am feeling overstimulated, Ineed to leave.
You did not do anything wrongand neither did I.
It's just how I feel in thismoment and I have to escape from
it.
Reframing that word selfisharound self care Remember that
self care is not selfish.
It is doing what you need to doso that you don't lose it later
, right?
So taking those 10 minutes toscream, sing wrecking ball on
repeat four times, taking those10 minutes to scream, sing
(22:24):
wrecking ball on repeat fourtimes, it's not extra, it's like
neurological first aid.
You have to do that sometimes.
Okay, miss any Anything ofanything I missed or any tips
that you like?
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I think between yours and mine, we got it.
I think so.
I think going back andlistening to the previous
episode we did on mindfulness isa great long term, is a great
long term plan because I'venoticed that since I started a
mindfulness practice, I can likenow, instead of me already
(23:05):
spiraling, the mindfulness helpsme recognize the emotions so
that I'm in the like oh crap, Ifeel it coming and I don't get
to the spiral as often as I didin the past.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I think that makes a lot of sense.
I will make sure that thatepisode is named here.
I don't want to necessarily puta link to it, because I don't
know what platform you alllisten on, so I'll make sure
there's a link to the blog postfor that as well, so you guys
can find that, and then you canlisten on the podcast app you
prefer.
So your homework for thisepisode.
(23:45):
I don't like to give homework,but I'm giving you homework.
Pick one of these tools andpair it with your most
predictable trigger.
So, if you know that 4pm iswhen your meds wear off and
you're about to doom spiral, setan alarm for like dance party
right now, and when you you know, I don't know if traffic sets
(24:05):
you off, put like three warheadsin the console of your car so
that when you start to lose it,you can just grab a warhead,
like there is nothing wrong withdoing any of those things.
But so your homework is to findyour trigger and pair it with
one of these things that youmight want to try, and then I'd
love for you to report back.
I want to share your wins.
If you have any, just tell usand I want to put them in the
(24:28):
episode or put them on social.
Let's take a break, we'll beright back.
Hey y'all.
Pov, you find a diary exposingforbidden magic and the hot
museum caretaker's life dependson you burning it.
Roots and Ink.
The debut novel by AriellaMonti is the fantasy romance for
(24:51):
rebels.
Use promo code CKANDGK to get20% off your copy at
AriellaMonticom.
Again, that's all capsC-K-A-N-D-G-K for 20% off on
AriellaMontecom.
Get your copy for 20% off todayand we are back.
(25:17):
Hyperfixations I'm sure youhave one.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Oh, I do.
All right, let's hear.
It is the outshine.
Coconut popsicle bars yeah, arethey wrapped in chocolate?
No, these are just like.
It's basically just like ifthey took a coconut, put it in a
blender and then froze it andthen put it in a blender and
then froze it Ooh, yummy, andthen put it on a stick yeah,
(25:43):
nice Outshine, is that like?
I think you get them at like anygrocery store, but they've got
like a whole bunch of differentfruits and stuff.
So my kid, like right before wewent to New York, was like I
want to try coconut.
And you know, my kid has aneating eating disorder.
So when he wants to try a foodI'm like let's go get a food
(26:05):
lion, yeah and we got like awhole bunch of different coconut
things and he ended up notliking coconut.
But I love coconut and these.
It's like I don't know it.
I kind of feel like I'm at thebeach when I eat it Almost like
some kind of like adult beverage.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah, Minus the adult part.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Yeah, exactly, but it's cold, so it's good not only
for the heat, but it wouldprobably be a good thing to have
when I'm about to seteverything on fire.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Yeah, I found that like some sort of frozen
something will help, even ifit's like sucking on an ice cube
, like just that kind of helpswith that whole shocking your
system kind of thing too.
Um, yeah, I'm just right now.
What I would really like islike a cold almond joy.
It sounds really good.
Okay, did I mention that I havea dog?
(27:05):
Because I have a dog, no tellme about your dog.
You have a dog.
What I have a dog, yeah, I meanso just for the record.
Like this is my first, gracieis my first dog.
Like I wanted a dog my wholelife as a kid and then I moved
out and my brother and sistersgot a dog and I did not get the
(27:28):
dog.
So my parents have had dogs butI did not ever get to have one,
so I was not happy about that.
But I have a dog now.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
She's mine, mine, she's my baby Bailey is my first
dog ever.
Like even my parents have neverhad dogs and I was afraid of
dogs for a very, very long timeLike well into my 20s.
So to even have a dog now iswonderful, and she's often my
favorite child.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
She's a good baby, except for when she plays the
inside-outside game, then she'smy, my favorite child.
Yeah, she's a good baby, exceptfor when she plays the
inside-outside game, then she ismy least favorite child.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Mine.
So just, we're still in thattransition period of like
shelter dog now coming home, andshelter dogs, depending on when
you get them, come with baggage.
Mine's six and a half, so she'sgot some baggage.
But she will sometimes cry inthe middle of the night and not
just cry but like bark, likeactively barking at one in the
(28:29):
morning.
We've gotten a lot better Lotsof walks, lots of tennis, fetch
and all that stuff to wear herout.
And it's summer, so like if shegoes on an evening walk it's
hot, it wears her out.
So we're we're doing all thethings, but she is still my
hyper fixation, is still reallyobsessed with my doggo, she's so
(28:49):
pretty.
Yeah, go look at the blog postfor this episode.
You'll see a picture.
Yeah, did you get anything donefinally?
Speaker 2 (28:57):
uh, I finally paid a medical bill.
Oh nice that they've been likecalling me about for a very,
very long time.
I was talking to my motherabout it when I was in New York
and I was like, yeah, you know,like the hard part is that I'll
get the email for the portal.
And then I got to go into theportal and you know, and then
(29:20):
like my password, words won'twork and blah, blah, blah.
And she's like, well, why don'tyou have them?
Just like mail you the bill?
And I'm like, because then I'mgonna take the paper bill and
I'm gonna put it in one of mymany doom piles and I'm gonna
forget about it anyway.
Um, so, so, yeah, I finallypaid that, so hopefully I will
(29:44):
stop getting calls from wake medyeah I.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
you just described my task.
I finally got done, which is Iwent through the pile of mail
that was ridiculously high.
For some reason I ended up withan arkansas tourism magazine,
arkansas Tourism Magazine.
I don't know, I don't know whyI got the Arkansas Tourism
Magazine, but I can tell youthat it was sitting in that pile
(30:09):
of mail and I was like, why isthis here?
And it was addressed to me Likewhat did I sign up for?
Nothing, nothing.
I did not ever sign up foranything.
This is no shame on Arkansas.
I just don't need an Arkansastourism magazine.
That was mine.
That I finally did.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Yeah, I had to do that once with my therapist
where I spent a whole sessionwith my therapist going through
a doom pile of mail because itwas just so like so overwhelming
genius, though, like way to gowith the body doubling smart.
Yeah, I would absolutely,because then she was also like
(30:48):
how are you feeling right now,like especially when you find
like I found like a bill, likean?
overdue bill from like two yearsago or something.
Oh man, you know she then shecould like work through the
emotions while it was out.
I highly recommend if you havea therapist like willing to do
something like that with you Imean, I do virtual appointments
(31:10):
with her, so it was.
It wasn't like I had to bring ashoebox full of mail like to
her office and then just dumpedit on her floor.
Like you know, I can see thevalue, yeah though yeah, I I.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
I also think that there's something about like
just having something to do withyour hands where you can like
kind of stay calm and talk aboutyour emotions at the same time
I need to just start I need tojust have one of those little
mini puzzles you talked aboutand, while I have my therapy
session, that sounds likeanother one of those.
I did the bigfoot one.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Yeah, those are yeah, the next time, the next time I
go into the mail place, I haveto get like another one um yeah
sounds awesome because they'refun not gonna lie.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Yeah, okay, so that was all the the tools we have
for helping you with thoseintense ADHD emotions.
Thank you for listening.
Next episode, we're going totalk about an ADHD superpower,
which I'm so excited about.
We're talking about creativity,adhd and creativity, so be sure
to subscribe to our show onyour favorite podcast app so
(32:18):
that you don't miss it.
As Jenny would say, say, makegood choices and you know.
If you need to eat 15 warheadsto calm yourself down, no shame,
just brush your teeth after,because it's a lot of sugar.
No judgment, no judgment.
And don't forget to tell uswhich one of these tools you
tried.
Yeah, okay, love, you mean it.
(32:39):
Bye bye.
Hello and welcome to the podcast, where sometimes I
don't know where that's going.
It's very Michael Scott to belike I just start talking and I
don't know where it's going togo.
We're so glad you're here.
Welcome to how to Be a Grown-Up, the how-to show for women who
are either 15 minutes early ortwo hours late, and there is no
(00:21):
in-between.
And we say this as people whodelayed our own recording
session by 30 minutes today.
So, yes, yep, I'm Caitlin, andwith me today co-hosting for
Jenny is Ariella Monti, authorof Roots in Ink and Bound by Ink
, which is coming I don't knowwhen.
Do you know when it's coming?
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I am shooting for January 2026.
I scheduled my copy editor forOctober.
So, to force me into becausewe're talking about ADHD.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
So I'm yeah, I'm doing, I'm doing a fantasy event
in january and I, I want thatready for it?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
oh, okay, anyway.
Uh, she is a perfectly brewedlatte of motivation and mischief
.
Oh, I like that, yeah, yeah.
Last week we learned what youguys brains treat emotions like
(01:33):
a Netflix algorithm Like, oh,you're slightly annoyed, here's
10 more hours of rage.
Similar to what you, it's likemy threads feed.
Yeah, exactly, you like the onepost.
And all of a sudden, everything.
Just yeah, exactly, yeah, oh,you like that one golf post.
Here's a lot of content aboutgolf.
Okay, great, um, anyway, goback and listen to that episode
(01:57):
if you haven't.
But before we get to the thecontent for today, I want to
remind you that if you likebooks, like you like, your soup
gotta be hot.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
You can get.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Ariella's books for 20% off using the promo code
CKANDGK, and I think it's allcaps on her website,
ariellamontecom, which I'velinked in the show notes.
And who's eating soup in thesummertime?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Nobody Me, I will.
I would summertime, nobody me,oh I, I will.
I would I actually like soup.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
All you didn't.
It doesn't matter, I am okay.
Today we are hacking the system.
These are the actual tools thatwork to help you regulate your
emotions.
There's no toxic positivityhere, because I hate that.
This is just real life.
I parented after I wasoverstimulated by the light
(02:47):
switch.
Noise strategies yes, so let'sget to it again.
Uh, lots of sources for today.
Attitude mag chad, which is thechildren and adults with
attention deficit hyperactivitydisorder website, which is such
an unfortunate I know right tochat understoodorg and the
(03:15):
wonderful youtube channel how toadhd and us.
and while I cannot physicallyput myself in the blog post for
this episode, all the othersources myself in the blog post
for this episode, all the othersources are in the blog post for
this episode, so go check itout.
So I'm going to start withactually a little bit of Q&A for
you, ariella, because I love it.
I I'm dying to know how youhandle this kind of stuff.
(03:38):
So poorly done Q& a sectionover uh, how do you handle your
big adhd feelings withoutsetting your entire life on fire
?
therapy she's you.
(04:01):
What you guys don't know isthat she just put her entire
face into the microphone and wasvery close as close as I am
right now.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Yes, but specifically , yes, so therapy as well as
medication, but with therapy,dbt skills.
So DBT is dialecticalbehavioral therapy and it's one
(04:30):
of the modalities that mytherapist is an expert in, and
she taught me about TIPP skills.
T-i-p-p it's temperature,intense exercise, paced
breathing and progressive musclerelaxation.
They were really reallyreaching with using TIP as an
(04:52):
acronym, but I found so likepeople were always like I teach
yoga.
You know that.
So I'm all about like breathingand mindfulness and and all
that all that jazz, but when Iam about to set my life on fire,
there is no amount of like deepbreathing, like alternate yeah,
(05:16):
there's no amount of alternatenostril breathing.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
That's going to take me back from that like alternate
nostril breathing yeah, I'veheard of it.
But also like what?
Speaker 2 (05:26):
yeah I get it right.
Right, I understand.
Yes, so what I will do, thoughI have found that temperature
works well for me through usingthese tip skills.
So what I will do is, when I amabout to, you know, light
everything on fire or leave myfamily to go hide in the woods,
(05:48):
I will grab an ice pack from thefreezer and I will lock myself
in the bathroom and then I willtake that ice pack and I will
put it like on the back of myneck or like between my shoulder
blades, my shoulder blades, andthat will like shock my brain
(06:13):
out of like.
It will shock my lizard brain abit If it's winter and it's
cold outside, because in NorthCarolina it could be, you know,
70 degrees in the middle ofJanuary, but if it's winter and
it's cold outside, I will juststand outside like without a's
cold outside, I will just standoutside like without a jacket or
anything, and I'll just standoutside.
We talked last week about how myhyper fixation is like pulling
(06:35):
like plants out, and like youknow so one of them is intense
exercise, and like that doesn'twork for me, like like I'm not
gonna go for a run or something,but like there was one time
where I decided I needed to, Ineeded to plant this tree, like,
right then, and I had to dig ahole, and like the digging the
(07:00):
hole was that hard, intenseexercise, for sure.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Yeah, that intense exercise that you know, I, I I'm
coming to you from my house, soI clearly have not left my
family to go live in the woods,so uh, yeah, um, I would love to
add you have a resource herefor dialectical behavior therapy
, so I'm going to put the linkfor that in the blog post for
(07:26):
this episode as well, so youguys can, yeah, okay, I have
another question as a writer andI.
This is I can relate to thisquestion because I write content
for my clients and critiques onyour work, right as a writer, a
writer, so how do you handle it?
Because RSD is real andremember for those, of us who
(07:51):
are not aware of what RSD is.
It's rejection-sensitivedysphoria.
It's a you feel rejection veryintensely and it becomes a they
hate me, they hate my work, Isuck at everything sort of shame
spiral.
So I'm just really curiousabout how you handle RSD and
critiquing.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
So with this particular, in this particular
instance, it was working in areally great newsroom as a
reporter, where I was constantlyhaving my work critiqued by
some really good editors whowere invested in me learning how
(08:32):
to be a better writer who wereinvested in me learning how to
be a better writer, so I wouldsit with them.
It was a weekly, so after thenewspaper went out, you know,
the next day I would sit withour copy editor sometimes and
like re-edit one of my stories.
So that process, I think,taught me the difference between
(08:54):
like true, legitimate critiquefrom a peer and like a
subjective opinion, which iswhat you would usually find in
like a book review, which Idon't read.
I don't go into like Goodreadsor Amazon, and I don't go
(09:17):
looking for my reviews, becausethose are subjective opinions
that are valid, but they'rebased mostly on personal
preferences.
They're not based in likecritical thought and evidence,
which is what a true critique is, and that is what I get from.
(09:39):
That's what I get during thedrafting process when I have
beta readers.
Those readers are going to giveme that critique, those
critiques that I'm going to useto make the story better.
So, like in some ways ways,like the simple answer is to be
like I don't read my reviews, Ijust avoid them.
(10:01):
um, I also forget that theyexist because you know, object
permanence like I just kind offorget they exist, right, but um
, but yeah that.
And like when you're a reporterand you're coming in in the
morning and like the local townnut job is screaming in your
(10:21):
voicemail about like the storyyou wrote on the new light posts
, like really like you know what, what can anybody tell you at
that?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
point.
I mean, yeah, I like thatseparation.
That's really smart.
It's like I'm not going topersonally be offended by
someone's opinions.
I'm going.
I will refer to the critiquesonly that are actually based in
logic and reasoning, whereasthis is trolls or whatever.
(10:59):
I like that, that's helpful.
Yeah, definitely Something Ineed to start applying.
I also will get like I getfrustrated because I will
happily make something for myclient that they want.
If you want this and you wantthat and you want it to look a
certain way and you have thisidea, give it all to me, I will.
I will happily make that.
(11:20):
I.
my frustration really comes inwith when I'm given no direction
and I make something that Ilike and that I think works and
gets the message across, andthen somebody that person that I
made it for comes back with15,000 things that I need to fix
or, but didn't give me anything.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
So, um, I think that's where I struggle with the
, with the critiquing versus um,yeah, you know what I mean and
learned is, in like those cases,the problem is not with me,
it's with the person that gavethat, gave me the assignment
(12:02):
yeah, because they did not makethe assignment clear, they did
not give me clear directives andor didn't give me an
opportunity to ensure that Ithat we were on the same page
and just like with.
Because that's not to say thatlike critique from a peer is
always like helpful and good,like there are a lot of
(12:25):
critiques from peers that areabsolutely awful and offensive.
I just don't like.
Awful and offensive, I justdon't like.
If you can't give constructivecriticism without being an
a-hole, then that's a youproblem, not a me problem.
You know that says more aboutthe person giving the critique
(12:50):
than the person receiving it.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Yeah, and I think that's a really good point for
anyone who is asking anyone todo anything for them, but, in
particular, someone with ADHDand RSD.
Like, be very intentional aboutwhat you do and don't want.
And if you don't know what youdo and don't want, look for some
examples of what you like andwhat you don't like and then
(13:14):
present that to whoever yourperson is that you're working
with in that sort of capacity.
Absolutely okay.
So I think I already know theanswer to this, because you
mentioned it earlier.
But your weirdest sensory hacknow I'm going to share mine and
this is new a new sensory hackwe've talked about how we talked
(13:34):
about last week how noise islike a big trigger for me.
But for some reason, graciegracie has my dog.
Gracie has a super squeaker.
Looks like a watermelon andit's really it's a super chewer.
So it's really thick rubber andit's very hard for me to
squeeze, but but I find ithilarious to try to squeeze it
(13:56):
because I'm not as strong.
Like, her jaw is so muchstronger than my hands.
It's crazy, but I will like tryto squeeze it and like, let my
rage go into this one littlething, but it's hard to be
raging when you hear this.
So it just made me laugh, soit's like a funny sound and it's
that like physical exertion ofme trying to make it make that
(14:19):
sound and for some reason it'sjust enough to make me cackle
and then I can like calm down alittle bit, right?
Um, it's just really hard torage when you hear that
ridiculous sound.
The other day she's runningaround her house with it in her
mouth and I swear it soundedlike a star wars movie with like
like it was just so hilarious.
(14:43):
Um, but it's just a silly sound, you know.
So you mentioned the, the icepack thing.
Yeah, is that your probablyyour craziest sensory hack?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I think, I think, so I can't really, I can't think of
anything else that that I do,that would even, that would even
be yeah, that makes sense butyeah, like yeah, just slamming
the door and going into thebathroom, with a, with a, with
an ice pack.
Yeah, like, do you remember hownice, like satisfying, it was
(15:16):
to hang up on people?
Yes, you know.
Like when you slam the receiverdown.
Yes, like we don't get thatanymore.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
No like forcefully tap your phone Right, right.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Could you even hear?
Speaker 1 (15:28):
that Like it doesn't even do anything?
There's no, yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, you're right, I think we're, we're.
I think there's pent-upaggression when we can't slam
the receiver.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
yeah I like it.
I like it okay.
So let's get into some.
I like those.
Those are some, some thingswhere you just previewed a
couple of things I'm talkingabout, but we're gonna get into
some tools to regulate adhdemotions.
Um, I'm gonna say this not alltools work regulate ADHD
emotions.
I'm going to say this not alltools work for all brains.
So I'm giving you a menu pickone that makes you go oh yeah,
okay, I'd actually try that.
(16:01):
So for when you are alreadyspiraling the five second name
it game, I'm feeling angry,overwhelmed, sad because,
whatever the trigger is.
So you are going to say I'mfeeling, name the emotion and
then say because, and thenwhatever the trigger is, then
you'll say this is my adhd brain, it will pass.
(16:23):
So I'm feeling angry becauseit's too loud in here.
This is my adhd brain, it willpass.
Bonus points for you if yougive your adhd a brain name like
Gladys or Glynnis or Bob, Ithink.
I think ADHD brains need a name.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I don't have a name for my ADHD brain.
I'll have to come up with one.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
I have also heard of people, like when they're
annoyed with their spouse fordoing something ridiculous, like
they'll say like the ghost didit and they'll.
They have a name for the ghost,yes I have heard that kind of
like, that yep kind of like that, yeah, yeah.
Another one is sensory grounding, which you've kind of mentioned
.
Um, cold water on the wrists,uh, ice pack on the back of the
(17:06):
neck, sour candy or a loud sighlike just a sounds funny, anyway
, I don't know so much.
All of those things interruptthe spiral.
Um, I literally have a like Ibought a pound of warheads for
(17:29):
this exact reason and they'resitting in a little thing on my
kitchen counter where I can goget one anytime I need it for
when I'm feeling a littlespirally.
Okay, you mentioned this kind ofthing too, with the slamming of
the phone.
But I'm going to say angrylaundry.
Take a ball of socks and throwit.
Bonus if you throw it with yournon-dominant hand Because it
(17:54):
looks I think it looks hilarious.
Physical release is better thanyou know.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Yelling at the sock, just pick up the sock and throw
it with your other non-dominantyeah a five, four, three, two,
one grounding for moms.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Five things you can see.
I see the sippy cup.
I see the laundry pile.
I see the lego.
Uh, four things you can touch.
Here's the counter.
Sippy cup.
I see the laundry pile.
I see the Lego.
Four things you can touch.
Here's the countertop.
It feels nice and cool.
The soft hoodie, the diaperthat I bundled up in my hand,
whatever, it is okay, itdistracts your brain mid-spiral.
So those are a few things youcan try.
(18:30):
I'm going to tell you right now.
I'm going to encourage you topause the episode for 15 seconds
.
Try one of them right now.
Do it Like?
Name five things.
You can see my coffee stainfrom this morning.
Four things you can touch mysweatpants.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
They're soft.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
I like them.
It helps.
It makes your brain shift gears, try it.
So those are already spiralingones.
Here's some for when you feelit coming the oh crap, I feel it
coming.
Okay, a movement break, a twominute dance party, wall pushups
resets your nervous system.
I work from home, so I'll gofold laundry or I'll put clothes
(19:10):
away, or I'll take the dogoutside for five minutes, just
anything that kind of gets meout of whatever that environment
is that I'm upset about andmakes me move my body in some
way.
And it doesn't have to be youknow, it can be a monotonous
task.
It doesn't have to be one thatrequires a lot of critical
thinking.
I'm seeing a lot of these onInstagram and elsewhere, but
(19:30):
emotional menus.
So these are pre-planned copingtools.
So, like when I'm overwhelmed,I will X, y, z text a friend,
listen to this song, hug my pet,whatever it is.
So like school drop-off or campdrop-off because it's summer,
whatever it is.
Stress hits.
(19:51):
You're going to go.
Okay, I'm feeling overwhelmed,I'm feeling stressed, I'm going
to chew some gum, blast Lizzo inthe car, or Taylor Swift or
Miley Cyrus or Foo Fighters,fugees, whoever it is, and then
you're going to text your ADHDmom friend who gets it a
predetermined emoji or GIF.
That means you're screaminginto the void.
I highly recommend this pro tip.
(20:12):
If you don't know how to do it,you can Google this.
Make it a keyboard shortcut sothat you type in like two
letters and the thing just popsup and you don't have to do
anything else.
You don't have to go searchingfor your favorite one.
My, I'm losing it one.
I've got a couple, but like therage, the rage emoji, sometimes
the clown emoji.
And then I also am a big fan ofthe wrecking ball, miley Cyrus,
(20:36):
and if you can scream singwrecking ball in the car, I also
would yeah, yeah.
And if you can scream singwrecking ball in the car, I also
would recommend that.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
So those are preventative onesfor when it's coming and you
know you need to get ahead of it.
When you're talking about, like, long-term hacks, we're going
to do some things to makeyourself less explosive for your
(20:59):
life.
Whatever, it is okay.
You're going to externalize theemotion.
I, if you need to rant, rant toyourself.
I'm a big fan of the showerrant.
I win every argument in therejust say that now.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah, yeah, I am an awesome debater in the shower in
the shower.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Yeah, um, do that in the laundry room.
Get a voice memo, memo going.
Whatever you need to do, likerage journal, make your hand
into a fist and write with thefist instead of, like your
normal handwriting, literallyscream into a pillow.
Any of those things you need todo to get the emotion out of
your body.
Probably going to be helpful.
(21:38):
Probably going to be helpful.
Compassionate self-talk We'vetalked about this quite a bit,
but always need a reminder thisis my ADHD.
This is not my fault.
I am doing my best, right?
And I've started to get to thepoint now with my family where
I'll say, like it is too loud inhere, it is not you, it is me.
(22:01):
I am feeling overstimulated, Ineed to leave.
You did not do anything wrongand neither did I.
It's just how I feel in thismoment and I have to escape from
it.
Reframing that word selfisharound self care Remember that
self care is not selfish.
It is doing what you need to doso that you don't lose it later
, right?
So taking those 10 minutes toscream, sing wrecking ball on
repeat four times, taking those10 minutes to scream, sing
(22:24):
wrecking ball on repeat fourtimes, it's not extra, it's like
neurological first aid.
You have to do that sometimes.
Okay, miss any Anything ofanything I missed or any tips
that you like?
I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I think between yours and mine, we got it.
I think so.
I think going back andlistening to the previous
episode we did on mindfulness isa great long term, is a great
long term plan because I'venoticed that since I started a
mindfulness practice, I can likenow, instead of me already
(23:05):
spiraling, the mindfulness helpsme recognize the emotions so
that I'm in the like oh crap, Ifeel it coming and I don't get
to the spiral as often as I didin the past.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I think that makes a lot of sense.
I will make sure that thatepisode is named here.
I don't want to necessarily puta link to it, because I don't
know what platform you alllisten on, so I'll make sure
there's a link to the blog postfor that as well, so you guys
can find that, and then you canlisten on the podcast app you
prefer.
So your homework for thisepisode.
(23:45):
I don't like to give homework,but I'm giving you homework.
Pick one of these tools andpair it with your most
predictable trigger.
So, if you know that 4pm iswhen your meds wear off and
you're about to doom spiral, setan alarm for like dance party
right now, and when you you know, I don't know if traffic sets
(24:05):
you off, put like three warheadsin the console of your car so
that when you start to lose it,you can just grab a warhead,
like there is nothing wrong withdoing any of those things.
But so your homework is to findyour trigger and pair it with
one of these things that youmight want to try, and then I'd
love for you to report back.
I want to share your wins.
If you have any, just tell usand I want to put them in the
(24:28):
episode or put them on social.
Let's take a break, we'll beright back.
Hey y'all.
Pov, you find a diary exposingforbidden magic and the hot
museum caretaker's life dependson you burning it.
Roots and Ink.
The debut novel by AriellaMonti is the fantasy romance for
(24:51):
rebels.
Use promo code CKANDGK to get20% off your copy at
AriellaMonticom.
Again, that's all capsC-K-A-N-D-G-K for 20% off on
AriellaMontecom.
Get your copy for 20% off todayand we are back.
(25:17):
Hyperfixations I'm sure youhave one.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Oh, I do.
All right, let's hear.
It is the outshine.
Coconut popsicle bars yeah, arethey wrapped in chocolate?
No, these are just like.
It's basically just like ifthey took a coconut, put it in a
blender and then froze it andthen put it in a blender and
then froze it Ooh, yummy, andthen put it on a stick yeah,
(25:43):
nice Outshine, is that like?
I think you get them at like anygrocery store, but they've got
like a whole bunch of differentfruits and stuff.
So my kid, like right before wewent to New York, was like I
want to try coconut.
And you know, my kid has aneating eating disorder.
So when he wants to try a foodI'm like let's go get a food
(26:05):
lion, yeah and we got like awhole bunch of different coconut
things and he ended up notliking coconut.
But I love coconut and these.
It's like I don't know it.
I kind of feel like I'm at thebeach when I eat it Almost like
some kind of like adult beverage.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah, Minus the adult part.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Yeah, exactly, but it's cold, so it's good not only
for the heat, but it wouldprobably be a good thing to have
when I'm about to seteverything on fire.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Yeah, I found that like some sort of frozen
something will help, even ifit's like sucking on an ice cube
, like just that kind of helpswith that whole shocking your
system kind of thing too.
Um, yeah, I'm just right now.
What I would really like islike a cold almond joy.
It sounds really good.
Okay, did I mention that I havea dog?
(27:05):
Because I have a dog, no tellme about your dog.
You have a dog.
What I have a dog, yeah, I meanso just for the record.
Like this is my first, gracieis my first dog.
Like I wanted a dog my wholelife as a kid and then I moved
out and my brother and sistersgot a dog and I did not get the
(27:28):
dog.
So my parents have had dogs butI did not ever get to have one,
so I was not happy about that.
But I have a dog now.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
She's mine, mine, she's my baby Bailey is my first
dog ever.
Like even my parents have neverhad dogs and I was afraid of
dogs for a very, very long timeLike well into my 20s.
So to even have a dog now iswonderful, and she's often my
favorite child.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
She's a good baby, except for when she plays the
inside-outside game, then she'smy, my favorite child.
Yeah, she's a good baby, exceptfor when she plays the
inside-outside game, then she ismy least favorite child.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Mine.
So just, we're still in thattransition period of like
shelter dog now coming home, andshelter dogs, depending on when
you get them, come with baggage.
Mine's six and a half, so she'sgot some baggage.
But she will sometimes cry inthe middle of the night and not
just cry but like bark, likeactively barking at one in the
(28:29):
morning.
We've gotten a lot better Lotsof walks, lots of tennis, fetch
and all that stuff to wear herout.
And it's summer, so like if shegoes on an evening walk it's
hot, it wears her out.
So we're we're doing all thethings, but she is still my
hyper fixation, is still reallyobsessed with my doggo, she's so
(28:49):
pretty.
Yeah, go look at the blog postfor this episode.
You'll see a picture.
Yeah, did you get anything donefinally?
Speaker 2 (28:57):
uh, I finally paid a medical bill.
Oh nice that they've been likecalling me about for a very,
very long time.
I was talking to my motherabout it when I was in New York
and I was like, yeah, you know,like the hard part is that I'll
get the email for the portal.
And then I got to go into theportal and you know, and then
(29:20):
like my password, words won'twork and blah, blah, blah.
And she's like, well, why don'tyou have them?
Just like mail you the bill?
And I'm like, because then I'mgonna take the paper bill and
I'm gonna put it in one of mymany doom piles and I'm gonna
forget about it anyway.
Um, so, so, yeah, I finallypaid that, so hopefully I will
(29:44):
stop getting calls from wake medyeah I.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
you just described my task.
I finally got done, which is Iwent through the pile of mail
that was ridiculously high.
For some reason I ended up withan arkansas tourism magazine,
arkansas Tourism Magazine.
I don't know, I don't know whyI got the Arkansas Tourism
Magazine, but I can tell youthat it was sitting in that pile
(30:09):
of mail and I was like, why isthis here?
And it was addressed to me Likewhat did I sign up for?
Nothing, nothing.
I did not ever sign up foranything.
This is no shame on Arkansas.
I just don't need an Arkansastourism magazine.
That was mine.
That I finally did.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Yeah, I had to do that once with my therapist
where I spent a whole sessionwith my therapist going through
a doom pile of mail because itwas just so like so overwhelming
genius, though, like way to gowith the body doubling smart.
Yeah, I would absolutely,because then she was also like
(30:48):
how are you feeling right now,like especially when you find
like I found like a bill, likean?
overdue bill from like two yearsago or something.
Oh man, you know she then shecould like work through the
emotions while it was out.
I highly recommend if you havea therapist like willing to do
something like that with you Imean, I do virtual appointments
(31:10):
with her, so it was.
It wasn't like I had to bring ashoebox full of mail like to
her office and then just dumpedit on her floor.
Like you know, I can see thevalue, yeah though yeah, I I.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
I also think that there's something about like
just having something to do withyour hands where you can like
kind of stay calm and talk aboutyour emotions at the same time
I need to just start I need tojust have one of those little
mini puzzles you talked aboutand, while I have my therapy
session, that sounds likeanother one of those.
I did the bigfoot one.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Yeah, those are yeah, the next time, the next time I
go into the mail place, I haveto get like another one um yeah
sounds awesome because they'refun not gonna lie.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Yeah, okay, so that was all the the tools we have
for helping you with thoseintense ADHD emotions.
Thank you for listening.
Next episode, we're going totalk about an ADHD superpower,
which I'm so excited about.
We're talking about creativity,adhd and creativity, so be sure
to subscribe to our show onyour favorite podcast app so
(32:18):
that you don't miss it.
As Jenny would say, say, makegood choices and you know.
If you need to eat 15 warheadsto calm yourself down, no shame,
just brush your teeth after,because it's a lot of sugar.
No judgment, no judgment.
And don't forget to tell uswhich one of these tools you
tried.
Yeah, okay, love, you mean it.
(32:39):
Bye bye.
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