October 7, 2025 • 39 mins
Your ADHD medication works perfectly one week, then feels like sugar pills the next. Before you blame your pharmacy or your brain, here's what's actually happening: your hormones are messing with your medication's "Wi-Fi signal." When estrogen drops—during your luteal phase, period, postpartum, or perimenopause—your meds can't connect the way they should. It's not you. It's chemistry.
Stop wondering why your ADHD meds feel inconsistent—hit subscribe and get cycle-aware medication strategies, tracking tips, and advocacy scripts that actually work.
- Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
- Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!
—
Who Should Listen
This episode is for women whose ADHD medication feels like it has multiple personalities, and anyone who's tired of their doctor dismissing hormonal patterns as "just PMS."
—
What You Get In This Episode
- The Wi-Fi metaphor that explains why estrogen affects your stimulant medication response
- When your meds feel weakest: luteal phase, menstruation, postpartum, breastfeeding, and perimenopause
- Medication timing tweaks and dose adjustments that work with your cycle (with the right provider)
- How to track your symptoms, cycle, sleep, and stress—plus privacy considerations for period tracking apps
- Non-medication anchors: CBT, certified ADHD coaching, and support groups that get hormonal ADHD
- Building redundant systems and low-energy backups for potato brain days
- Self-advocacy scripts to use with providers (and when to find someone new)
—
Bios
Caitlin brings her signature blend of humor and practical advice to help overwhelmed moms navigate the challenges of ADHD and adulting. With Ariella Monti (ariellamonti.com), novelist and unstoppable force who understands firsthand how ADHD affects every aspect of daily life.
—
Sources & Mentions
The best support is a rating and a share.
Love,
CK & GK
View our website at ckandgkpodcast.com. Find us on social media @ckandgkpodcast on
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Thanks, y'all!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Caitlin Kindred (00:00):
Hi, we're so glad you're here.
Ariella Monti (00:04):
We should just do a whole episode of like
complaints, like boomer-likecomplaints about how things have
changed.
And the funny part about it islike some of this stuff will
only be like five years old andwe'll be sitting here like back
in my day.
It was like three years ago.
Caitlin Kindred (00:25):
I told you there's gonna be like in my next
life with like a rebrand, Ihave a couple of ideas for how
this podcast could go.
It could be called theMillennial Urge, right?
And it could be just like allof these millennial things that
we're dealing with right now andlike kind of how to deal with
it.
Uh or like everything's fine.
(00:47):
The everything's fine podcast.
This is fine.
And it's just like the pictureof the dog in the burning, in a
burnating the countryside sortof setting.
Ariella Monti (01:00):
Yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (01:00):
Right.
Um, and I could fill it.
I could fill it with stuff likethis where I'm just like, and
then we uh it's a little bitboomer-esque, like, and not even
just like boomer-esque, becausethere are some fairly cool
boomers who get it, but it'slike it's almost like
boomerslash, you know, greatestgeneration esque.
(01:21):
It's like I used to walk up thehill both ways in the snow,
uphill with bare feet.
Like, right.
No, you know.
This show, though, is notcalled either of those things.
This show is called How to Be aGrown Up, and I'm Caitlin, and
I'm here with Ariela Monti, whois a novelist and cupcake made
(01:42):
of ambition and glitteringrealism.
Uh this show is for women whobelieve in both retail therapy
and regular actual therapy, likeI do.
And I have a scenario.
And if you're able to raiseyour hand or a finger or
whatever, you can do it whileyou're listening.
(02:04):
If this has ever happened toyou, you're taking your ADHD
medication religiously, samedose, same time, every day, but
some weeks it works like magic,and other weeks it might as well
be a tic-tac.
My hand is in the air.
Before you start questioningyour sanity or your pharmacy, I
need to remind you of what'sactually happening.
It's not your medication that'schanging, obviously.
(02:25):
It's your brain's ability touse it.
And that's because of hormones.
Yay! So this is the finalepisode of our ADHD in hormones
series.
We've covered the science,we've talked about life phases.
We've now we need to talk aboutsome of the practical stuff,
which is like how to actuallymanage your ADHD when your
hormones are calling the shots.
(02:46):
Have you followed us yet onInstagram or threads?
No, shame on you.
Please go do that right now.
The links are in the show notesto do that.
Yay.
Let's get into it.
Ariella Monti (03:01):
Or if you have pathological demand avoidance,
don't follow us.
Don't follow us.
We don't even follow us.
Yeah, I bet you won't followus.
Caitlin Kindred (03:11):
I dare you.
You won't do it.
Um, again, I have uh literally13 sources here.
Everything from attitude mag toWebMD to women's mental health
to the American HeartAssociation.
Wikipedia.
There is a Wikipedia piece thatI use for this.
Ariella Monti (03:31):
Nice.
Caitlin Kindred (03:32):
This website is kind of a or this is kind of a
dangerous title, hormonet.
Hormonet.
As in hormones.
There's all kinds of things.
There's a YouTube video, allsorts of stuff.
If you want the full list ofsources, because I'm not a
scientist, I had to use thismany.
Please go to the blog post forthis episode.
And I've mentioned thisalready.
(03:54):
Here's my Wi-Fi analogy formedicine with ADHD.
Here's the simplest way tounderstand what's happening with
your medication.
Think of your hormones as yourbrain's Wi-Fi signal for ADHD
meds.
When your estrogen is high, youhave a strong Wi-Fi signal, and
your meds will workbeautifully.
(04:14):
Everything is connectingproperly, the streaming is
smooth, life makes sense.
But when your estrogen drops,you have a weak Wi-Fi signal.
Your medication is still there,but your brain can't access it
properly.
It's like trying to watchNetflix with a dial-up internet
connection.
(04:34):
I guess it's technicallypossible, but it's frustrating
as hell.
And it's not your fault.
It's because your hormones havechanged, your prescription
hasn't changed, your brain'sability to use it has.
You didn't do anything wrong.
So let's talk about those timeswhen you feel like your meds
(04:54):
have gone on strike or you'retaking tic-tacks.
I truly feel like there aresome weeks where I'm like, why
am I even taking this?
It does nothing.
I should just save it so thatwhen there's another AHD med
shortage, I have it.
Ariella Monti (05:09):
Right.
Yeah.
But then then you don't take itand you're like, wow, this is
even worse.
This is even worse tired.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
If anything, you're just moretired.
Like you have brain fog andyou're tired.
Caitlin Kindred (05:25):
And you're exhausted.
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (05:27):
Ridiculous.
Caitlin Kindred (05:28):
Okay.
The luteal phase is yourmonthly low point.
This is the phase that startsright after ovulation and it
lasts until your period begins.
This is again when yourestrogen drops and your
progesterone spikes and yourmedication feels tic-tac-ish
again, right?
You're not imagining it.
Research shows that theresponse to stimulant
medications really does worsenwhen your estrogen drops.
(05:50):
So it's the same pill, it'sjust different brain chemistry,
and it can't work the same way.
So right before and during yourperiod is when your estrogen
hits rock bottom.
So we'd already talked aboutalludeal phase is when it starts
to go down, but now you havethis rock bottom phase when your
period is actually starting.
A lot of women report feelinglike their medication has
completely stopped workingduring this phase.
(06:10):
Yachting is contagious.
And some describe it as takingsugar pills.
I've seen that.
Like several of the articles Iread were like, it's just like
taking a sugar pill, which isbasically what it is when you're
taking hormonal pill birthcontrol, and there's that week
where you're not taking it.
It's kind of it's basicallylike that.
And the only reason that thosepills exist is to help you
(06:32):
remember to take it.
It's the sugar pill, basically.
The frustrating part of allthat is that you still need to
be able to function because youstill have deadlines, you still
have kids to manage, you stillhave life that you have to
handle, but your brain's likepharmaceutical support system
just technically has clocked outon you and you can't do
anything about it.
So we've talked about thisalready in the previous two
(06:53):
episodes.
So please go listen if youhaven't.
But these other low estrogentimes would include postpartum
when your hormones hit rockbottom after childbirth,
perimenopause and menopause whenyour estrogen levels are
chronically low.
And another time is duringbreastfeeding.
So that postpartum period whenyou and especially if you
because I mean postpartum, Iguess most people think of as
(07:16):
technically the first threemonths after.
Although for me, I think itlasted for about six months.
My hair started falling outaround three months after.
I would say when my hairstarted to grow back in was like
six to seven months later.
So but I was still nursinguntil he was a year old.
So I would yeah, so if you'renursing and you're kind of out
of that postpartum phase, youstill probably have estrogen
(07:39):
levels that are suppressed.
So that's another issue.
So a reminder, TLDR, anytimeyour estrogen takes a nosedive,
your medication effectivenessgoes with it.
So you might get like one weeka month where things don't suck
and you're not in any of thoseother phases and your meds work.
(08:02):
And I think I said this in thelast episode, but like men could
never just men could never.
So I want to get into thismedication piece.
And this is something thatCasey Davis mentioned once on
one of her episodes, and it wasearly on in her podcast.
If you haven't listened toCasey Davis, go look up her
show, listen to this one first,prioritize this show, and then
(08:25):
go listen to Casey Davis.
But she talks about how a lotof times the providers will say,
like, take a break from it overthe weekend.
Because if you don't need to beproductive on the weekend,
because it's the weekend time,then you don't need to take your
meds.
But that advice originally wasgiven to men because it was men
who worked out of the home andthen they would go home on the
(08:48):
weekend and they would relax.
Whereas for women, the weekendis when you're managing everyone
home for the entire day.
Ariella Monti (08:57):
Yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (08:58):
And I would almost trade weekend meds.
You know what I mean?
I would rather take it on theweekend and not take it during a
couple days of the week becauseI need to be my best self on
the weekend in everyone's home.
Yeah.
Anyway, that's a differentconversation.
But here's what we need to talkabout when it comes to
medication and what actuallyworks.
(09:20):
This is where healthcaresystems, huh?
This is where like it's theonly place healthcare systems
can actually fail us.
If you live in the UnitedStates, you know that there are
multiple ways that this canhappen.
Um, but most doctors, as I kindof mentioned, are trained or
not trained actually to think ofADHD medication in terms of
(09:40):
hormonal cycles because thepatriarchy.
So there are a few ways thatyou can kind of work on
adjusting your medicationyourself.
You can use a timing approach.
Some women find successadjusting their medication,
timing or dosage around theircycles.
So this might mean slightlyhigher doses during the luteal
(10:02):
phase, an additionalshort-acting medication during
low estrogen times, differenttiming strategies when your
symptoms are at their worst.
I talked to someone who saidthat they would take their pill.
Mine is one that I can like,it's a capsule, I can open it
and dump the contents out.
You could do that, take half ofit in the morning, and then the
other half of it in theafternoon, things like that to
(10:24):
kind of get you through the day.
It's important to know thoughthat this might require working
with a healthcare provider whounderstands both ADHD and
hormones, and though they arenot always easy to find.
So that means tracking yourcycle.
(10:51):
I'm gonna say this withcaution.
You can use apps like Clue,period tracker, the Apple
Health, whatever on your watchor on your phone.
All of that's fine.
If you use one of those ringsthat tracks all that stuff, you
can do it there too.
I'm gonna warn you that youshould check privacy policies
for H because we're very closeto living in the handmaid's
(11:13):
tale, and I don't really wantthat to happen to you.
So just be very careful aboutthat.
If you're gonna track things,in addition to tracking your
cycle, you need to track yourADHD symptoms.
Choose your top, you know,four, three to five, whatever,
and rate them on a scale.
I have one to ten here, but Iam someone who that's too much
choice.
(11:34):
So I would say like bad, okay,and good.
And I would just choose one ofthose words.
One, two, three, something likethat.
Don't make it overcomplicatedfor yourself because that's
something that ADHD peoplesuffer with is overcomplicating
things that don't need to besuper complicated.
So just bad, okay, good.
(11:55):
So those that's how you trackyour symptoms, and then do the
same thing for how well you feellike your meds are working.
My meds work great today.
My meds did not work so greattoday.
And then don't forget toinclude sleep and stress as
another outlier factor thatcould impact those things.
Stress can impact your cycle,stress can impact your sleep,
sleep impacts your cycle, sleepimpacts your stress.
All those things kind of cometogether.
(12:17):
So just keep that in mind anduse that as you start tracking.
But if you do this for like twoto three months, or maybe even
more, you're gonna start to seesome patterns.
And you can bring that to yourdoctor or to your psychiatrist
and say, look, I have actualevidence of how this is working
for me.
Can we talk about a way that Ican adjust my current
prescription to be moremanageable during these times of
(12:39):
the month for myself?
That's if you are medicated.
Now, I'm gonna say I'm amedication advocate.
We've talked about this before.
I will be very open with themedications that I'm taking.
I will tell you every singleone why I'm taking it and how I
feel about it.
No problem doing those things.
I'm all about supporting yourneeds with sore bot items,
(13:02):
whether it's toilet paper orserotonin.
I don't care.
Just do what you have to do tobe a functioning human.
But if you are relying solelyon medication to manage your
symptoms, when your estrogentakes a nosedive and your
medication becomes less helpful,you're gonna need a backup
(13:22):
strategy here.
And I'm I know that Ariel isgonna be nodding her head as I
say this.
Therapy.
Yay! Especially cognitivebehavioral therapy seems to be
effective from all the thingsthat I've been reading and
researching.
And or I added this piece incertified ADHD coaching.
(13:44):
CBT, cognitive behavioraltherapy, teaches you skills that
don't depend on your brainchemistry to be perfect in order
to work.
These strategies are designedto work even when your
medication feels useless.
They're things that you canfall back on to support your
medication.
The key here is to find eithera certified ADHD coach, not a
(14:07):
person who says she's an ADHDcoach on Instagram.
That's not what I mean.
I mean a doctor.
Ariella Monti (14:12):
Right.
Caitlin Kindred (14:13):
Or someone with an actual degree in some sort
of psychology, psychiatry,therapy, something that can
support this because this is amedical condition.
Ariella Monti (14:24):
Right.
It's it's finding the like thetherapist that specializes in
ADHD.
Like when my therapist had totake a like six-week leave of
absence, she's like, here's thenumber and the information for
this person that specializes inADHD.
And I think they would be areally good backup while I'm not
(14:49):
here.
And because I have ADHD, I'veput off contacting her.
Caitlin Kindred (14:55):
Could you please just start the
conversation for me, doc?
Thank you so much.
Ariella Monti (14:59):
Right.
I mean, it was fine, but youknow, like but you know, that's
my example.
That right, that was atherapist who specialized in
ADHD, and that's what you'retalking about.
Caitlin Kindred (15:11):
Yes.
The key is finding thattherapist who understands both
and how the hormonal changesimpact your symptoms.
So I'm gonna make a push for awoman just because she will have
experience with the hormonefluctuations on her own.
Now, I might be wrong.
There are plenty of maledoctors and ADHD advocates who
(15:34):
are supporting women and wantwomen's ADHD to be understood
more.
So that does exist.
I'm just saying in my ownexperience, I like when my
doctor can empathize.
Another support system.
You need an organizationalsystem that actually works for
(15:55):
you.
I wrote in my notes, yourorganizational system needs to
account for good brain days andpotato brain days.
Just saying.
We all know what I'm talkingabout.
Yeah, yeah.
Also, I love the woman who saidthere is not a single potato
that cannot help you no matterwhat mood you're in.
Because she's not wrong.
Ariella Monti (16:14):
I mean, it's a fact.
Caitlin Kindred (16:16):
It is.
Yeah, aren't you?
Yes.
Yeah, right.
Always smashed potatoes?
Always.
Yeah.
Okay.
I would encourage you to havemany of the tools we've already
discussed, but redundantsystems.
So like multiple reminders andmultiple places for important
information.
Your phone and a visualcalendar, a sticky note, and a
(16:37):
running to-do list.
Places where you're gonna seeit multiple times.
Yeah.
Um, hormone-aware planning.
This was gonna retire, it'sgonna require you to track just
FYI.
But like thinking aboutscheduling very important tasks
during your high estrogen weekswhen you can.
This is why tracking your cyclecan help, right?
(16:58):
Low energy backups.
So simple systems that work foryou, even when your brain feels
like mush.
We've talked about in the pastlike food and how like the
breaded frozen chicken tendersmake a pre-packaged salad much
more manageable and full ofprotein, and it's easy.
(17:20):
So when your brain feels likeyou can't do anything, this is
still easy enough for you to do.
Things like that that make iteasy for you to keep functioning
even when you truly feel likeyou cannot.
Right.
Another thing to turn to forsome additional support.
Support groups, especiallythose with hormonal awareness.
(17:41):
Regular ADHD support groups aregreat, but finding one that
understands the hormonalcomponent is gonna be an extra
special thing for you.
In particular, because thesewill be the people who empathize
with you, why you're strugglingone week and why you're
thriving the next.
If you can't find an in-persongroup, or I wrote here, or you
(18:02):
you don't want one becausepeople some people don't like
people, you know?
Like some people are like, no,thanks.
People, yeah, I'm out.
Some days I love people, otherdays I hate everyone.
So I get it.
You can look for onlinecommunities, Reddit.
I have found that Reddit hastons of ADHD subreddits, and
(18:28):
there are some that are just forwomen.
And it might be a good place tostart, especially if it's kind
of your vibe to like creep firstand then start to participate.
You know, it might make youfeel a little bit better.
That's my style on LinkedIn.
I like to scroll the posts,kind of absorb a little bit,
make a comment, get people tolike me that way.
Ariella Monti (18:48):
It works.
I wrote my first Reddit commentever, like two weeks ago.
Did you?
Yeah.
I never got into Reddit, butthis was some drama that was
happening in the book world.
Caitlin Kindred (19:05):
And um think you mentioned this to me.
Ariella Monti (19:07):
Yeah, and I decided to get in there.
Make your voice known and bemean.
Yeah.
Yeah, good for you.
Deservedly mean.
Yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (19:16):
Right.
Ariella Monti (19:17):
I was the mean person on Reddit.
Yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (19:20):
That's not what we're talking about here.
Here we're talking aboutsupportive communities.
But see, this is what I'mtalking about.
Some people are not nice onReddit.
So I've just no.
Listen, you're not a generaltroll, so it's fine.
I get it.
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (19:30):
No, trust me, she deserved it.
Caitlin Kindred (19:32):
I mean.
Ariella Monti (19:32):
Sorry.
I'm watching like you'retalking, and I'm I've been
watching this red tailed hawklike fly from like the roof of
my neighbor's house to a treebranch.
And I'm just sitting here like,I hope it doesn't eat my
chickens.
Caitlin Kindred (19:49):
Uh that's legit.
And also, welcome to ADHD,where you are distracted by all
the things.
The last one I'm gonna buy abird, buy something shiny, buy
whatever.
Uh the last I'm gonna includehere in terms of um additional
support, an additional thing toadd to your toolkit besides like
therapy and organizationalsystems and support groups, is
(20:11):
educating yourself.
Psychoeducation that includesyour cycle.
Understanding your patternsisn't just interesting, it's
therapeutic.
It helps you not feel excludedand confused by what's
happening.
(20:32):
When you know why your brainfeels different during certain
weeks, you can stop blamingyourself for the struggles that
are literally chemical that youhave no control over.
The other thing I want you toremember is that different
phases of your life requiredifferent strategies.
(20:55):
Your ADHD management strategiesneed to evolve as your hormones
change throughout your life.
Right.
It's kind of like when you'reparenting, right?
Where you're like, this workedlast week, I'm gonna do it
again.
And then your child decides tocompletely flip the script, and
you have to evolve with thatchange.
It's the same sort of thing.
You're changing too.
(21:15):
Yeah.
So be flexible in the systemsthat you have.
During your reproductive years,focus on cycle tracking and
finding providers who understandmonthly fluctuations.
This is that time whenmedication adjustments around
your cycle might be most helpfulfor you.
During pregnancy andpostpartum, many ADHD
(21:39):
medications are actually notrecommended during pregnancy,
which must be incrediblyfrustrating.
So look for non-pharmaceuticalstrategies that really support
what you're going through.
Postpartum requires planningfor that hormone crash and a
(22:01):
potential medication restart.
If you are medicated and you'reyou finally are on something
that works, you know what it waslike to go through that period
of testing this med and thenchanging the dose and then
testing that med and changingthat dose and trying to get
yourself to a place where thingswere working properly.
And you just need to prepareyourself for that to happen
(22:22):
again because I'm gonna tell youthere's a very good chance that
the same dose that worked foryou before you had your baby is
probably not gonna work for youthis time.
Right.
Yeah.
And you may not be able to takeit because you're nursing, if
that's the choice that you'vemade.
Uh, so just keeping that inyour head too.
When you're experiencingperimenopausal symptoms and
(22:44):
going through menopause, youprobably need to reassess your
ADHD management entirely.
What worked for you for 20years probably isn't gonna work
the same way anymore.
It might even stop altogether.
Hormone replacement therapy canhelp, but it's not a guarantee.
In fact, I would say that'sprobably a lot of women's
(23:07):
situation as it is, right?
They have HRT and it's stillnot fixing everything anyway.
I want to get into someadvocacy pieces here too, and I
don't mean like advocating aslike you would advocate for
legislative policy, which I mayor may not be very involved in
right now because I'm angry.
(23:28):
Yes, you are too.
This is about advocating foryourself, and this is one of my
favorite phrases.
You've probably heard me say itbefore if you've listened to
this show.
It's because it matters.
The squeaky wheel gets thegrease, so be loud for yourself.
It's okay to do that.
Most healthcare providers arenot up to speed on ADHD and
(23:48):
hormones, even the female ones.
Sorry.
Um, so here's how to advocatefor yourself.
One, come prepared with thattracking data that you're using,
bring it with you.
Don't just say my medicationdoesn't work during my period.
Actually, show them the charts,the patterns, the specific
examples that you have writtendown in whatever you're
tracking.
You can even just use a papercalendar.
(24:10):
Like who cares?
Right.
Color code.
If you feel like coloring,today is red, this was a bad
day, whatever it is, just showthem and then also draw a
little, I don't know, a tamponon the calendar.
Who cares?
Just do something so you knowthis was the day and this was my
cycle, and here's what washappening.
Educate your provider.
There's one I shouldn't have tosay, but you might have to be
(24:33):
the one who teaches your doctorabout the connection.
Might be frustrating.
Yeah.
Bring the research, shareresources, and don't let anyone
dismiss your symptoms as justPMS.
If someone does that, you'regonna use the phrase, I would
like you to note in my chartthat I asked for this and you
did not give it to me.
You're gonna use that anytimethat you need something.
(24:54):
You're gonna say, I would likeyou to make a note in my chart
that I asked for an MRI or thatI asked for XYZ and you told me
no.
Ariella Monti (25:02):
Because that will immediately trigger a reaction.
So just putting that out there.
Caitlin Kindred (25:08):
If you have a psychiatrist, ask them for
support with this conversation.
So you can say, You're the onewho gives me my meds, but I need
to go to my doctor and I needto figure out what something
else.
There's something else going onhere.
I need some support.
What are some phrases I can usein this conversation?
I love me a good sentencestarter and I'm all about using
(25:29):
them.
Know when to find someone else.
If your provider sucks, let mesay that in a more professional
way.
If your provider refuses toconsider hormonal factors or
dismisses your track patterns,which is a likely scenario
because people don't believewomen.
(25:50):
Even some women don't believewomen.
Find someone else.
Your reproductive health andmental health are connected.
I don't care what anyone says,and you need a provider who gets
it.
And if your person doesn't, Idon't care how much you love
them, find someone else.
But it's convenient.
There's probably someone elsenearby.
(26:10):
I hope.
I hope for you there's someoneelse nearby.
Because it's time.
Consider a specialist.
That's another option to go.
Sometimes you need a teamapproach, a gynecologist who
understands ADHD, a psychiatristwho understands hormones, back
and forth.
It's okay to see multipleproviders.
I do.
If that's what it takes, do it.
(26:32):
If you're able to see differentproviders who all use the same
programs, like maybe they alluse my chart, even better,
because that means yourinformation is shared.
Yeah.
There's a clinic nearby where Igo for pretty much all of my
healthcare needs.
It's like a little medicalplaza.
There's like a MRI stationacross the street, and then
there's like a lab here, andit's all this kind of stuff.
(26:54):
It's all connected and they alluse the same tracking system.
And when I ask for referrals, Ialways ask for someone who's in
that same kind of providernetwork because I know they're
all going to share theinformation back and forth.
And if they don't share theinformation back and forth, sign
whatever forms you need to makesure that your information from
one provider gets shared acrossto the information in the other
(27:17):
provider.
It might require some sort ofHIPAA release, but the HIPAA
release would just be to shareacross providers and not share
like with outside people.
So it's fine.
Here's my bottom line with allof this.
Advocacy for female-specificADHD care is important.
If you are a clinician andyou're listening to this, please
(27:39):
take these dynamics seriously.
I beg of you, it does matter.
It makes a difference in theoverall mental health of your
patients.
And all women should beempowered to track their cycles,
speak out about changes, andinsist on care that is specific
to their bodies and theirbrains.
(27:59):
Full stop.
When it comes to managing ADHDas a woman, it's not just about
finding the right medication,it's about understanding how
your hormones impact yourmedication and also how your
hormones impact your symptomseverity.
So that's a big component here.
Again, as I mentioned in otherepisodes, your hormones are
(28:21):
central to the ADHD experience.
But what that means is it kindof gives you another layer of
it's not your fault.
We've already talked about howADHD is not your fault.
There's nothing wrong with you.
It's just that you have to workthat much harder.
You're not failing when yourstrategies stop working during
certain times of the month.
It's not because you did itwrong.
(28:42):
It's because it's just thattime of the month or that time
of your life where hormones arechanging and things don't work
the same way.
You're experiencing in thatmoment, I hope that you can
separate and tell Gladys, like,hey, this must be a time when
Gladys is really just ramping itup and she's she and
progesterone are really kickingit together and having a good
(29:05):
old time.
Because you can just, it's justanother layer of separating,
and you can say, like, okay,this is my hormones.
This is why this system that Ihave that's worked for me is not
working right now.
Take a deep breath and and reregroup.
The goal is not ever toeliminate the fluctuations
because that's impossible.
(29:25):
You can't do that.
The goal is to find ways towork with them so that you are
able to manage your life as bestas possible.
Right.
So I have some practical nextsteps for you.
One, again, start tracking yourcycle and symptoms if you
haven't already.
Find some healthcare providerswho understand ADHD and
(29:46):
hormones, build flexible systemsthat work during both high and
low estrogen times.
We have plenty of episodes onhow to cope with different
things related to ADHD.
So please go listen.
Connect.
With other women who understandthis experience.
Ariel and I are here.
We will read your DMs.
We will read your emails.
(30:07):
We would love to understand andempathize with you.
And please be patient withyourself during these hormonal
transitions.
Because it's really, these arereally hard.
All of this is hard.
In this series, we've coveredthe basic science of hormones
and how they affect your ADHDbrain, how your symptoms change
(30:29):
during your different lifephases, and all of these
practical strategies in thisepisode.
The most important thing toremember here is that your
experience is valid.
It's complicated.
It's not your fault when thingsare harder during certain
times.
And you deserve a healthcareprovider who understands all of
this or multiple providers.
And you deserve medicationstrategies that account for your
(30:51):
hormones and support systemsthat recognize what's actually
going on with you.
You're nodding.
I'll take that as a yes.
Agreed.
Sometimes I'm just so good andlike so prolific that there's
really nothing that needs to besaid.
Ariella Monti (31:07):
I'm speechless, like absolutely speechless.
Caitlin Kindred (31:11):
I'm so good at this.
I took today on it.
I do have some more reflectionquestions for you.
Have you ever tracked how yourmedication effectiveness changes
throughout your cycle?
What non-medication strategieshelp you the most during your
(31:35):
low estrogen times?
And what would you want to tellyour healthcare provider about
your hormonal ADHD experiences?
If you if you needed to saysomething, what would you tell
them?
Again, we want to hear yourexperiences.
So please send us DMs.
You can reach Ariela at Arielaunderscore Monty on Threads or
(31:56):
on Instagram.
You can find us at CKNGKpodcast on Threads or Instagram.
You can send me an email.
You can do that through thewebsite or through the show
notes.
You can also send us a textthrough the show notes if you
need to.
That's easiest for you.
And we'll be right back.
Okay, y'all.
POV.
(32:17):
You find a diary exposingforbidden magic, and the hot
museum caretaker's life dependson you burning it.
Roots and Inc., the debut novelby Ariella Monti, is the
fantasy romance for rebels.
Use promo code CK and GK to get20% off your copy at
ariellamonte.com.
(32:37):
Again, that's all caps at C K AN D G K for 20% off on
Ariellamonti.com.
Get your copy for 20% offtoday.
I'm a professional.
I'm a professional podcaster.
(32:59):
I did so good.
I'm tooting my own horn here.
Ariella Monti (33:04):
I think I have been see having an IUD, I don't
I have yet to actually dig intohow having a hormonal IUD plays
into everything.
Caitlin Kindred (33:18):
It's hard for me too because I I've tried
tracking my cycle with myhormonal IUD and I can't because
there's no I don't have thesame symptoms.
So I really I really have tolook into those other less
obvious symptoms uh to kind offigure out what to do.
Ariella Monti (33:39):
I I think because I had the four months with a
copper IUD and had and had a fewmonths of like a pretty solid
menstrual cycle, now I I have Iusually get something very
(33:59):
light.
And that I have been able totrack and it does it does tend
to come on a like a 28-daycycle.
So I use the Apple Health andit has some like perimenopause
(34:24):
symptoms in there, but itdoesn't have all of them.
No, and it doesn't have a placeto like extra write notes.
Yeah, you can't add anythingand like it's good to know.
Um hesitant to like to getanother app because at least
Apple tends to be pretty goodwith privacy privacy.
Caitlin Kindred (34:47):
Yeah.
It could be as simple as do youuse Notion at all?
Ariella Monti (34:53):
No.
Caitlin Kindred (34:54):
I'm sure you can look it up, but you don't
need to download it or anything.
I'm just thinking, like, if youare someone who does use
Notion, there are like templatesthat you can use.
Maybe just look up a templatefor one that you could just like
create an online or like aGoogle Doc, some sort of
something like that where it'slike a calendar and you just you
just write it down, right?
Like maybe and it's likemulti-select, you can select
(35:16):
certain things.
Ariella Monti (35:20):
Yeah, I have I have a Notion account because I
was I was looking into itinstead of using Trello.
Um but I didn't I didn't likeit for that purpose.
But yeah, I can I can look andI can look it up.
Caitlin Kindred (35:34):
I can see if I use Notion for a lot of the show
planning and I use it to trackmy dog's seizures and her
behavior like during her offperiods, because she has several
of those.
Because I and then I can justdownload the entire file and
(35:56):
share that with my provider as Ineed to with her.
Um, so she can kind of seewhat's going on.
But there's I mean, it might beworth looking, and even if you
just looked at the tracker thatyou could just like look up
notion template, you know, yeah,perimenopause and see what
comes up, and then you couldjust like copy it and do what
you you know, replicate it foryourself.
(36:17):
It's easier to have thetemplate because most of them
are free or a lot of them arefree, and then you could just
use it.
Um, but you can make that wayyou can make it work for you
too, you know.
So something to think about.
There are lots of ways youcould track all of these things.
You don't have to use an app.
You can, you know, I somepeople I've seen like they just
download like a paper calendar.
(36:37):
Like I said, and they colorcode, here's where I am in my
cycle.
Especially if you're one of thepeople who's extremely
concerned about privacy, itmight be that that's how you do
it.
It works for you.
Or you put it in your, youknow, you whatever put it in
your journal.
I don't know how you want to doit, but like it's just
something to put it in yourjournal.
Dear diary, flow heavy, crampssevere, brain fog through the
(37:05):
roof.
What Jeremy looked at me inclass today.
It's October 3rd.
That's a little shout-out toall my mean girlfriends and um
fans out there.
Uh yeah, so this has been aninteresting series, and uh we're
(37:25):
getting close to wrapping upour ADHD content for those of
you who want something else.
We're close.
But in the meantime, I hopethis has been enjoyable for you.
I do have a whole ADHD contentplaylist for those of you who
are interested in kind of havingthis all in one place, and I've
put that in the blog post forall of these ADHD episodes, but
(37:48):
I'll I'll link it in the shownotes at some point too, if I
remember.
So if I remember, because Idon't because why?
ADHD.
Because I have all these goodideas that I write on sticky
notes and then I cover up thesticky notes and can't find the
ideas anymore.
Right.
That's pretty much the story ofmy life.
(38:10):
So this is why we havemulti-level symptoms that are
redundant, and I need to startfollowing my own advice.
Right?
Yes.
Okay.
Well, as Jenny would say, makegood choices.
We love you, mean it.
Thanks for listening.
Subscribe, follow, find us onInsta.
(38:31):
Bye.
Bye.
Hi, we're so glad you're here.
Ariella Monti (00:04):
We should just do a whole episode of like
complaints, like boomer-likecomplaints about how things have
changed.
And the funny part about it islike some of this stuff will
only be like five years old andwe'll be sitting here like back
in my day.
It was like three years ago.
Caitlin Kindred (00:25):
I told you there's gonna be like in my next
life with like a rebrand, Ihave a couple of ideas for how
this podcast could go.
It could be called theMillennial Urge, right?
And it could be just like allof these millennial things that
we're dealing with right now andlike kind of how to deal with
it.
Uh or like everything's fine.
(00:47):
The everything's fine podcast.
This is fine.
And it's just like the pictureof the dog in the burning, in a
burnating the countryside sortof setting.
Ariella Monti (01:00):
Yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (01:00):
Right.
Um, and I could fill it.
I could fill it with stuff likethis where I'm just like, and
then we uh it's a little bitboomer-esque, like, and not even
just like boomer-esque, becausethere are some fairly cool
boomers who get it, but it'slike it's almost like
boomerslash, you know, greatestgeneration esque.
(01:21):
It's like I used to walk up thehill both ways in the snow,
uphill with bare feet.
Like, right.
No, you know.
This show, though, is notcalled either of those things.
This show is called How to Be aGrown Up, and I'm Caitlin, and
I'm here with Ariela Monti, whois a novelist and cupcake made
(01:42):
of ambition and glitteringrealism.
Uh this show is for women whobelieve in both retail therapy
and regular actual therapy, likeI do.
And I have a scenario.
And if you're able to raiseyour hand or a finger or
whatever, you can do it whileyou're listening.
(02:04):
If this has ever happened toyou, you're taking your ADHD
medication religiously, samedose, same time, every day, but
some weeks it works like magic,and other weeks it might as well
be a tic-tac.
My hand is in the air.
Before you start questioningyour sanity or your pharmacy, I
need to remind you of what'sactually happening.
It's not your medication that'schanging, obviously.
(02:25):
It's your brain's ability touse it.
And that's because of hormones.
Yay! So this is the finalepisode of our ADHD in hormones
series.
We've covered the science,we've talked about life phases.
We've now we need to talk aboutsome of the practical stuff,
which is like how to actuallymanage your ADHD when your
hormones are calling the shots.
(02:46):
Have you followed us yet onInstagram or threads?
No, shame on you.
Please go do that right now.
The links are in the show notesto do that.
Yay.
Let's get into it.
Ariella Monti (03:01):
Or if you have pathological demand avoidance,
don't follow us.
Don't follow us.
We don't even follow us.
Yeah, I bet you won't followus.
Caitlin Kindred (03:11):
I dare you.
You won't do it.
Um, again, I have uh literally13 sources here.
Everything from attitude mag toWebMD to women's mental health
to the American HeartAssociation.
Wikipedia.
There is a Wikipedia piece thatI use for this.
Ariella Monti (03:31):
Nice.
Caitlin Kindred (03:32):
This website is kind of a or this is kind of a
dangerous title, hormonet.
Hormonet.
As in hormones.
There's all kinds of things.
There's a YouTube video, allsorts of stuff.
If you want the full list ofsources, because I'm not a
scientist, I had to use thismany.
Please go to the blog post forthis episode.
And I've mentioned thisalready.
(03:54):
Here's my Wi-Fi analogy formedicine with ADHD.
Here's the simplest way tounderstand what's happening with
your medication.
Think of your hormones as yourbrain's Wi-Fi signal for ADHD
meds.
When your estrogen is high, youhave a strong Wi-Fi signal, and
your meds will workbeautifully.
(04:14):
Everything is connectingproperly, the streaming is
smooth, life makes sense.
But when your estrogen drops,you have a weak Wi-Fi signal.
Your medication is still there,but your brain can't access it
properly.
It's like trying to watchNetflix with a dial-up internet
connection.
(04:34):
I guess it's technicallypossible, but it's frustrating
as hell.
And it's not your fault.
It's because your hormones havechanged, your prescription
hasn't changed, your brain'sability to use it has.
You didn't do anything wrong.
So let's talk about those timeswhen you feel like your meds
(04:54):
have gone on strike or you'retaking tic-tacks.
I truly feel like there aresome weeks where I'm like, why
am I even taking this?
It does nothing.
I should just save it so thatwhen there's another AHD med
shortage, I have it.
Ariella Monti (05:09):
Right.
Yeah.
But then then you don't take itand you're like, wow, this is
even worse.
This is even worse tired.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
If anything, you're just moretired.
Like you have brain fog andyou're tired.
Caitlin Kindred (05:25):
And you're exhausted.
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (05:27):
Ridiculous.
Caitlin Kindred (05:28):
Okay.
The luteal phase is yourmonthly low point.
This is the phase that startsright after ovulation and it
lasts until your period begins.
This is again when yourestrogen drops and your
progesterone spikes and yourmedication feels tic-tac-ish
again, right?
You're not imagining it.
Research shows that theresponse to stimulant
medications really does worsenwhen your estrogen drops.
(05:50):
So it's the same pill, it'sjust different brain chemistry,
and it can't work the same way.
So right before and during yourperiod is when your estrogen
hits rock bottom.
So we'd already talked aboutalludeal phase is when it starts
to go down, but now you havethis rock bottom phase when your
period is actually starting.
A lot of women report feelinglike their medication has
completely stopped workingduring this phase.
(06:10):
Yachting is contagious.
And some describe it as takingsugar pills.
I've seen that.
Like several of the articles Iread were like, it's just like
taking a sugar pill, which isbasically what it is when you're
taking hormonal pill birthcontrol, and there's that week
where you're not taking it.
It's kind of it's basicallylike that.
And the only reason that thosepills exist is to help you
(06:32):
remember to take it.
It's the sugar pill, basically.
The frustrating part of allthat is that you still need to
be able to function because youstill have deadlines, you still
have kids to manage, you stillhave life that you have to
handle, but your brain's likepharmaceutical support system
just technically has clocked outon you and you can't do
anything about it.
So we've talked about thisalready in the previous two
(06:53):
episodes.
So please go listen if youhaven't.
But these other low estrogentimes would include postpartum
when your hormones hit rockbottom after childbirth,
perimenopause and menopause whenyour estrogen levels are
chronically low.
And another time is duringbreastfeeding.
So that postpartum period whenyou and especially if you
because I mean postpartum, Iguess most people think of as
(07:16):
technically the first threemonths after.
Although for me, I think itlasted for about six months.
My hair started falling outaround three months after.
I would say when my hairstarted to grow back in was like
six to seven months later.
So but I was still nursinguntil he was a year old.
So I would yeah, so if you'renursing and you're kind of out
of that postpartum phase, youstill probably have estrogen
(07:39):
levels that are suppressed.
So that's another issue.
So a reminder, TLDR, anytimeyour estrogen takes a nosedive,
your medication effectivenessgoes with it.
So you might get like one weeka month where things don't suck
and you're not in any of thoseother phases and your meds work.
(08:02):
And I think I said this in thelast episode, but like men could
never just men could never.
So I want to get into thismedication piece.
And this is something thatCasey Davis mentioned once on
one of her episodes, and it wasearly on in her podcast.
If you haven't listened toCasey Davis, go look up her
show, listen to this one first,prioritize this show, and then
(08:25):
go listen to Casey Davis.
But she talks about how a lotof times the providers will say,
like, take a break from it overthe weekend.
Because if you don't need to beproductive on the weekend,
because it's the weekend time,then you don't need to take your
meds.
But that advice originally wasgiven to men because it was men
who worked out of the home andthen they would go home on the
(08:48):
weekend and they would relax.
Whereas for women, the weekendis when you're managing everyone
home for the entire day.
Ariella Monti (08:57):
Yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (08:58):
And I would almost trade weekend meds.
You know what I mean?
I would rather take it on theweekend and not take it during a
couple days of the week becauseI need to be my best self on
the weekend in everyone's home.
Yeah.
Anyway, that's a differentconversation.
But here's what we need to talkabout when it comes to
medication and what actuallyworks.
(09:20):
This is where healthcaresystems, huh?
This is where like it's theonly place healthcare systems
can actually fail us.
If you live in the UnitedStates, you know that there are
multiple ways that this canhappen.
Um, but most doctors, as I kindof mentioned, are trained or
not trained actually to think ofADHD medication in terms of
(09:40):
hormonal cycles because thepatriarchy.
So there are a few ways thatyou can kind of work on
adjusting your medicationyourself.
You can use a timing approach.
Some women find successadjusting their medication,
timing or dosage around theircycles.
So this might mean slightlyhigher doses during the luteal
(10:02):
phase, an additionalshort-acting medication during
low estrogen times, differenttiming strategies when your
symptoms are at their worst.
I talked to someone who saidthat they would take their pill.
Mine is one that I can like,it's a capsule, I can open it
and dump the contents out.
You could do that, take half ofit in the morning, and then the
other half of it in theafternoon, things like that to
(10:24):
kind of get you through the day.
It's important to know thoughthat this might require working
with a healthcare provider whounderstands both ADHD and
hormones, and though they arenot always easy to find.
So that means tracking yourcycle.
(10:51):
I'm gonna say this withcaution.
You can use apps like Clue,period tracker, the Apple
Health, whatever on your watchor on your phone.
All of that's fine.
If you use one of those ringsthat tracks all that stuff, you
can do it there too.
I'm gonna warn you that youshould check privacy policies
for H because we're very closeto living in the handmaid's
(11:13):
tale, and I don't really wantthat to happen to you.
So just be very careful aboutthat.
If you're gonna track things,in addition to tracking your
cycle, you need to track yourADHD symptoms.
Choose your top, you know,four, three to five, whatever,
and rate them on a scale.
I have one to ten here, but Iam someone who that's too much
choice.
(11:34):
So I would say like bad, okay,and good.
And I would just choose one ofthose words.
One, two, three, something likethat.
Don't make it overcomplicatedfor yourself because that's
something that ADHD peoplesuffer with is overcomplicating
things that don't need to besuper complicated.
So just bad, okay, good.
(11:55):
So those that's how you trackyour symptoms, and then do the
same thing for how well you feellike your meds are working.
My meds work great today.
My meds did not work so greattoday.
And then don't forget toinclude sleep and stress as
another outlier factor thatcould impact those things.
Stress can impact your cycle,stress can impact your sleep,
sleep impacts your cycle, sleepimpacts your stress.
All those things kind of cometogether.
(12:17):
So just keep that in mind anduse that as you start tracking.
But if you do this for like twoto three months, or maybe even
more, you're gonna start to seesome patterns.
And you can bring that to yourdoctor or to your psychiatrist
and say, look, I have actualevidence of how this is working
for me.
Can we talk about a way that Ican adjust my current
prescription to be moremanageable during these times of
(12:39):
the month for myself?
That's if you are medicated.
Now, I'm gonna say I'm amedication advocate.
We've talked about this before.
I will be very open with themedications that I'm taking.
I will tell you every singleone why I'm taking it and how I
feel about it.
No problem doing those things.
I'm all about supporting yourneeds with sore bot items,
(13:02):
whether it's toilet paper orserotonin.
I don't care.
Just do what you have to do tobe a functioning human.
But if you are relying solelyon medication to manage your
symptoms, when your estrogentakes a nosedive and your
medication becomes less helpful,you're gonna need a backup
(13:22):
strategy here.
And I'm I know that Ariel isgonna be nodding her head as I
say this.
Therapy.
Yay! Especially cognitivebehavioral therapy seems to be
effective from all the thingsthat I've been reading and
researching.
And or I added this piece incertified ADHD coaching.
(13:44):
CBT, cognitive behavioraltherapy, teaches you skills that
don't depend on your brainchemistry to be perfect in order
to work.
These strategies are designedto work even when your
medication feels useless.
They're things that you canfall back on to support your
medication.
The key here is to find eithera certified ADHD coach, not a
(14:07):
person who says she's an ADHDcoach on Instagram.
That's not what I mean.
I mean a doctor.
Ariella Monti (14:12):
Right.
Caitlin Kindred (14:13):
Or someone with an actual degree in some sort
of psychology, psychiatry,therapy, something that can
support this because this is amedical condition.
Ariella Monti (14:24):
Right.
It's it's finding the like thetherapist that specializes in
ADHD.
Like when my therapist had totake a like six-week leave of
absence, she's like, here's thenumber and the information for
this person that specializes inADHD.
And I think they would be areally good backup while I'm not
(14:49):
here.
And because I have ADHD, I'veput off contacting her.
Caitlin Kindred (14:55):
Could you please just start the
conversation for me, doc?
Thank you so much.
Ariella Monti (14:59):
Right.
I mean, it was fine, but youknow, like but you know, that's
my example.
That right, that was atherapist who specialized in
ADHD, and that's what you'retalking about.
Caitlin Kindred (15:11):
Yes.
The key is finding thattherapist who understands both
and how the hormonal changesimpact your symptoms.
So I'm gonna make a push for awoman just because she will have
experience with the hormonefluctuations on her own.
Now, I might be wrong.
There are plenty of maledoctors and ADHD advocates who
(15:34):
are supporting women and wantwomen's ADHD to be understood
more.
So that does exist.
I'm just saying in my ownexperience, I like when my
doctor can empathize.
Another support system.
You need an organizationalsystem that actually works for
(15:55):
you.
I wrote in my notes, yourorganizational system needs to
account for good brain days andpotato brain days.
Just saying.
We all know what I'm talkingabout.
Yeah, yeah.
Also, I love the woman who saidthere is not a single potato
that cannot help you no matterwhat mood you're in.
Because she's not wrong.
Ariella Monti (16:14):
I mean, it's a fact.
Caitlin Kindred (16:16):
It is.
Yeah, aren't you?
Yes.
Yeah, right.
Always smashed potatoes?
Always.
Yeah.
Okay.
I would encourage you to havemany of the tools we've already
discussed, but redundantsystems.
So like multiple reminders andmultiple places for important
information.
Your phone and a visualcalendar, a sticky note, and a
(16:37):
running to-do list.
Places where you're gonna seeit multiple times.
Yeah.
Um, hormone-aware planning.
This was gonna retire, it'sgonna require you to track just
FYI.
But like thinking aboutscheduling very important tasks
during your high estrogen weekswhen you can.
This is why tracking your cyclecan help, right?
(16:58):
Low energy backups.
So simple systems that work foryou, even when your brain feels
like mush.
We've talked about in the pastlike food and how like the
breaded frozen chicken tendersmake a pre-packaged salad much
more manageable and full ofprotein, and it's easy.
(17:20):
So when your brain feels likeyou can't do anything, this is
still easy enough for you to do.
Things like that that make iteasy for you to keep functioning
even when you truly feel likeyou cannot.
Right.
Another thing to turn to forsome additional support.
Support groups, especiallythose with hormonal awareness.
(17:41):
Regular ADHD support groups aregreat, but finding one that
understands the hormonalcomponent is gonna be an extra
special thing for you.
In particular, because thesewill be the people who empathize
with you, why you're strugglingone week and why you're
thriving the next.
If you can't find an in-persongroup, or I wrote here, or you
(18:02):
you don't want one becausepeople some people don't like
people, you know?
Like some people are like, no,thanks.
People, yeah, I'm out.
Some days I love people, otherdays I hate everyone.
So I get it.
You can look for onlinecommunities, Reddit.
I have found that Reddit hastons of ADHD subreddits, and
(18:28):
there are some that are just forwomen.
And it might be a good place tostart, especially if it's kind
of your vibe to like creep firstand then start to participate.
You know, it might make youfeel a little bit better.
That's my style on LinkedIn.
I like to scroll the posts,kind of absorb a little bit,
make a comment, get people tolike me that way.
Ariella Monti (18:48):
It works.
I wrote my first Reddit commentever, like two weeks ago.
Did you?
Yeah.
I never got into Reddit, butthis was some drama that was
happening in the book world.
Caitlin Kindred (19:05):
And um think you mentioned this to me.
Ariella Monti (19:07):
Yeah, and I decided to get in there.
Make your voice known and bemean.
Yeah.
Yeah, good for you.
Deservedly mean.
Yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (19:16):
Right.
Ariella Monti (19:17):
I was the mean person on Reddit.
Yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (19:20):
That's not what we're talking about here.
Here we're talking aboutsupportive communities.
But see, this is what I'mtalking about.
Some people are not nice onReddit.
So I've just no.
Listen, you're not a generaltroll, so it's fine.
I get it.
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (19:30):
No, trust me, she deserved it.
Caitlin Kindred (19:32):
I mean.
Ariella Monti (19:32):
Sorry.
I'm watching like you'retalking, and I'm I've been
watching this red tailed hawklike fly from like the roof of
my neighbor's house to a treebranch.
And I'm just sitting here like,I hope it doesn't eat my
chickens.
Caitlin Kindred (19:49):
Uh that's legit.
And also, welcome to ADHD,where you are distracted by all
the things.
The last one I'm gonna buy abird, buy something shiny, buy
whatever.
Uh the last I'm gonna includehere in terms of um additional
support, an additional thing toadd to your toolkit besides like
therapy and organizationalsystems and support groups, is
(20:11):
educating yourself.
Psychoeducation that includesyour cycle.
Understanding your patternsisn't just interesting, it's
therapeutic.
It helps you not feel excludedand confused by what's
happening.
(20:32):
When you know why your brainfeels different during certain
weeks, you can stop blamingyourself for the struggles that
are literally chemical that youhave no control over.
The other thing I want you toremember is that different
phases of your life requiredifferent strategies.
(20:55):
Your ADHD management strategiesneed to evolve as your hormones
change throughout your life.
Right.
It's kind of like when you'reparenting, right?
Where you're like, this workedlast week, I'm gonna do it
again.
And then your child decides tocompletely flip the script, and
you have to evolve with thatchange.
It's the same sort of thing.
You're changing too.
(21:15):
Yeah.
So be flexible in the systemsthat you have.
During your reproductive years,focus on cycle tracking and
finding providers who understandmonthly fluctuations.
This is that time whenmedication adjustments around
your cycle might be most helpfulfor you.
During pregnancy andpostpartum, many ADHD
(21:39):
medications are actually notrecommended during pregnancy,
which must be incrediblyfrustrating.
So look for non-pharmaceuticalstrategies that really support
what you're going through.
Postpartum requires planningfor that hormone crash and a
(22:01):
potential medication restart.
If you are medicated and you'reyou finally are on something
that works, you know what it waslike to go through that period
of testing this med and thenchanging the dose and then
testing that med and changingthat dose and trying to get
yourself to a place where thingswere working properly.
And you just need to prepareyourself for that to happen
(22:22):
again because I'm gonna tell youthere's a very good chance that
the same dose that worked foryou before you had your baby is
probably not gonna work for youthis time.
Right.
Yeah.
And you may not be able to takeit because you're nursing, if
that's the choice that you'vemade.
Uh, so just keeping that inyour head too.
When you're experiencingperimenopausal symptoms and
(22:44):
going through menopause, youprobably need to reassess your
ADHD management entirely.
What worked for you for 20years probably isn't gonna work
the same way anymore.
It might even stop altogether.
Hormone replacement therapy canhelp, but it's not a guarantee.
In fact, I would say that'sprobably a lot of women's
(23:07):
situation as it is, right?
They have HRT and it's stillnot fixing everything anyway.
I want to get into someadvocacy pieces here too, and I
don't mean like advocating aslike you would advocate for
legislative policy, which I mayor may not be very involved in
right now because I'm angry.
(23:28):
Yes, you are too.
This is about advocating foryourself, and this is one of my
favorite phrases.
You've probably heard me say itbefore if you've listened to
this show.
It's because it matters.
The squeaky wheel gets thegrease, so be loud for yourself.
It's okay to do that.
Most healthcare providers arenot up to speed on ADHD and
(23:48):
hormones, even the female ones.
Sorry.
Um, so here's how to advocatefor yourself.
One, come prepared with thattracking data that you're using,
bring it with you.
Don't just say my medicationdoesn't work during my period.
Actually, show them the charts,the patterns, the specific
examples that you have writtendown in whatever you're
tracking.
You can even just use a papercalendar.
(24:10):
Like who cares?
Right.
Color code.
If you feel like coloring,today is red, this was a bad
day, whatever it is, just showthem and then also draw a
little, I don't know, a tamponon the calendar.
Who cares?
Just do something so you knowthis was the day and this was my
cycle, and here's what washappening.
Educate your provider.
There's one I shouldn't have tosay, but you might have to be
(24:33):
the one who teaches your doctorabout the connection.
Might be frustrating.
Yeah.
Bring the research, shareresources, and don't let anyone
dismiss your symptoms as justPMS.
If someone does that, you'regonna use the phrase, I would
like you to note in my chartthat I asked for this and you
did not give it to me.
You're gonna use that anytimethat you need something.
(24:54):
You're gonna say, I would likeyou to make a note in my chart
that I asked for an MRI or thatI asked for XYZ and you told me
no.
Ariella Monti (25:02):
Because that will immediately trigger a reaction.
So just putting that out there.
Caitlin Kindred (25:08):
If you have a psychiatrist, ask them for
support with this conversation.
So you can say, You're the onewho gives me my meds, but I need
to go to my doctor and I needto figure out what something
else.
There's something else going onhere.
I need some support.
What are some phrases I can usein this conversation?
I love me a good sentencestarter and I'm all about using
(25:29):
them.
Know when to find someone else.
If your provider sucks, let mesay that in a more professional
way.
If your provider refuses toconsider hormonal factors or
dismisses your track patterns,which is a likely scenario
because people don't believewomen.
(25:50):
Even some women don't believewomen.
Find someone else.
Your reproductive health andmental health are connected.
I don't care what anyone says,and you need a provider who gets
it.
And if your person doesn't, Idon't care how much you love
them, find someone else.
But it's convenient.
There's probably someone elsenearby.
(26:10):
I hope.
I hope for you there's someoneelse nearby.
Because it's time.
Consider a specialist.
That's another option to go.
Sometimes you need a teamapproach, a gynecologist who
understands ADHD, a psychiatristwho understands hormones, back
and forth.
It's okay to see multipleproviders.
I do.
If that's what it takes, do it.
(26:32):
If you're able to see differentproviders who all use the same
programs, like maybe they alluse my chart, even better,
because that means yourinformation is shared.
Yeah.
There's a clinic nearby where Igo for pretty much all of my
healthcare needs.
It's like a little medicalplaza.
There's like a MRI stationacross the street, and then
there's like a lab here, andit's all this kind of stuff.
(26:54):
It's all connected and they alluse the same tracking system.
And when I ask for referrals, Ialways ask for someone who's in
that same kind of providernetwork because I know they're
all going to share theinformation back and forth.
And if they don't share theinformation back and forth, sign
whatever forms you need to makesure that your information from
one provider gets shared acrossto the information in the other
(27:17):
provider.
It might require some sort ofHIPAA release, but the HIPAA
release would just be to shareacross providers and not share
like with outside people.
So it's fine.
Here's my bottom line with allof this.
Advocacy for female-specificADHD care is important.
If you are a clinician andyou're listening to this, please
(27:39):
take these dynamics seriously.
I beg of you, it does matter.
It makes a difference in theoverall mental health of your
patients.
And all women should beempowered to track their cycles,
speak out about changes, andinsist on care that is specific
to their bodies and theirbrains.
(27:59):
Full stop.
When it comes to managing ADHDas a woman, it's not just about
finding the right medication,it's about understanding how
your hormones impact yourmedication and also how your
hormones impact your symptomseverity.
So that's a big component here.
Again, as I mentioned in otherepisodes, your hormones are
(28:21):
central to the ADHD experience.
But what that means is it kindof gives you another layer of
it's not your fault.
We've already talked about howADHD is not your fault.
There's nothing wrong with you.
It's just that you have to workthat much harder.
You're not failing when yourstrategies stop working during
certain times of the month.
It's not because you did itwrong.
(28:42):
It's because it's just thattime of the month or that time
of your life where hormones arechanging and things don't work
the same way.
You're experiencing in thatmoment, I hope that you can
separate and tell Gladys, like,hey, this must be a time when
Gladys is really just ramping itup and she's she and
progesterone are really kickingit together and having a good
(29:05):
old time.
Because you can just, it's justanother layer of separating,
and you can say, like, okay,this is my hormones.
This is why this system that Ihave that's worked for me is not
working right now.
Take a deep breath and and reregroup.
The goal is not ever toeliminate the fluctuations
because that's impossible.
(29:25):
You can't do that.
The goal is to find ways towork with them so that you are
able to manage your life as bestas possible.
Right.
So I have some practical nextsteps for you.
One, again, start tracking yourcycle and symptoms if you
haven't already.
Find some healthcare providerswho understand ADHD and
(29:46):
hormones, build flexible systemsthat work during both high and
low estrogen times.
We have plenty of episodes onhow to cope with different
things related to ADHD.
So please go listen.
Connect.
With other women who understandthis experience.
Ariel and I are here.
We will read your DMs.
We will read your emails.
(30:07):
We would love to understand andempathize with you.
And please be patient withyourself during these hormonal
transitions.
Because it's really, these arereally hard.
All of this is hard.
In this series, we've coveredthe basic science of hormones
and how they affect your ADHDbrain, how your symptoms change
(30:29):
during your different lifephases, and all of these
practical strategies in thisepisode.
The most important thing toremember here is that your
experience is valid.
It's complicated.
It's not your fault when thingsare harder during certain
times.
And you deserve a healthcareprovider who understands all of
this or multiple providers.
And you deserve medicationstrategies that account for your
(30:51):
hormones and support systemsthat recognize what's actually
going on with you.
You're nodding.
I'll take that as a yes.
Agreed.
Sometimes I'm just so good andlike so prolific that there's
really nothing that needs to besaid.
Ariella Monti (31:07):
I'm speechless, like absolutely speechless.
Caitlin Kindred (31:11):
I'm so good at this.
I took today on it.
I do have some more reflectionquestions for you.
Have you ever tracked how yourmedication effectiveness changes
throughout your cycle?
What non-medication strategieshelp you the most during your
(31:35):
low estrogen times?
And what would you want to tellyour healthcare provider about
your hormonal ADHD experiences?
If you if you needed to saysomething, what would you tell
them?
Again, we want to hear yourexperiences.
So please send us DMs.
You can reach Ariela at Arielaunderscore Monty on Threads or
(31:56):
on Instagram.
You can find us at CKNGKpodcast on Threads or Instagram.
You can send me an email.
You can do that through thewebsite or through the show
notes.
You can also send us a textthrough the show notes if you
need to.
That's easiest for you.
And we'll be right back.
Okay, y'all.
POV.
(32:17):
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Use promo code CK and GK to get20% off your copy at
ariellamonte.com.
(32:37):
Again, that's all caps at C K AN D G K for 20% off on
Ariellamonti.com.
Get your copy for 20% offtoday.
I'm a professional.
I'm a professional podcaster.
(32:59):
I did so good.
I'm tooting my own horn here.
Ariella Monti (33:04):
I think I have been see having an IUD, I don't
I have yet to actually dig intohow having a hormonal IUD plays
into everything.
Caitlin Kindred (33:18):
It's hard for me too because I I've tried
tracking my cycle with myhormonal IUD and I can't because
there's no I don't have thesame symptoms.
So I really I really have tolook into those other less
obvious symptoms uh to kind offigure out what to do.
Ariella Monti (33:39):
I I think because I had the four months with a
copper IUD and had and had a fewmonths of like a pretty solid
menstrual cycle, now I I have Iusually get something very
(33:59):
light.
And that I have been able totrack and it does it does tend
to come on a like a 28-daycycle.
So I use the Apple Health andit has some like perimenopause
(34:24):
symptoms in there, but itdoesn't have all of them.
No, and it doesn't have a placeto like extra write notes.
Yeah, you can't add anythingand like it's good to know.
Um hesitant to like to getanother app because at least
Apple tends to be pretty goodwith privacy privacy.
Caitlin Kindred (34:47):
Yeah.
It could be as simple as do youuse Notion at all?
Ariella Monti (34:53):
No.
Caitlin Kindred (34:54):
I'm sure you can look it up, but you don't
need to download it or anything.
I'm just thinking, like, if youare someone who does use
Notion, there are like templatesthat you can use.
Maybe just look up a templatefor one that you could just like
create an online or like aGoogle Doc, some sort of
something like that where it'slike a calendar and you just you
just write it down, right?
Like maybe and it's likemulti-select, you can select
(35:16):
certain things.
Ariella Monti (35:20):
Yeah, I have I have a Notion account because I
was I was looking into itinstead of using Trello.
Um but I didn't I didn't likeit for that purpose.
But yeah, I can I can look andI can look it up.
Caitlin Kindred (35:34):
I can see if I use Notion for a lot of the show
planning and I use it to trackmy dog's seizures and her
behavior like during her offperiods, because she has several
of those.
Because I and then I can justdownload the entire file and
(35:56):
share that with my provider as Ineed to with her.
Um, so she can kind of seewhat's going on.
But there's I mean, it might beworth looking, and even if you
just looked at the tracker thatyou could just like look up
notion template, you know, yeah,perimenopause and see what
comes up, and then you couldjust like copy it and do what
you you know, replicate it foryourself.
(36:17):
It's easier to have thetemplate because most of them
are free or a lot of them arefree, and then you could just
use it.
Um, but you can make that wayyou can make it work for you
too, you know.
So something to think about.
There are lots of ways youcould track all of these things.
You don't have to use an app.
You can, you know, I somepeople I've seen like they just
download like a paper calendar.
(36:37):
Like I said, and they colorcode, here's where I am in my
cycle.
Especially if you're one of thepeople who's extremely
concerned about privacy, itmight be that that's how you do
it.
It works for you.
Or you put it in your, youknow, you whatever put it in
your journal.
I don't know how you want to doit, but like it's just
something to put it in yourjournal.
Dear diary, flow heavy, crampssevere, brain fog through the
(37:05):
roof.
What Jeremy looked at me inclass today.
It's October 3rd.
That's a little shout-out toall my mean girlfriends and um
fans out there.
Uh yeah, so this has been aninteresting series, and uh we're
(37:25):
getting close to wrapping upour ADHD content for those of
you who want something else.
We're close.
But in the meantime, I hopethis has been enjoyable for you.
I do have a whole ADHD contentplaylist for those of you who
are interested in kind of havingthis all in one place, and I've
put that in the blog post forall of these ADHD episodes, but
(37:48):
I'll I'll link it in the shownotes at some point too, if I
remember.
So if I remember, because Idon't because why?
ADHD.
Because I have all these goodideas that I write on sticky
notes and then I cover up thesticky notes and can't find the
ideas anymore.
Right.
That's pretty much the story ofmy life.
(38:10):
So this is why we havemulti-level symptoms that are
redundant, and I need to startfollowing my own advice.
Right?
Yes.
Okay.
Well, as Jenny would say, makegood choices.
We love you, mean it.
Thanks for listening.
Subscribe, follow, find us onInsta.
(38:31):
Bye.
Bye.
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