February 25, 2025 • 45 mins
Forget shopping sprees! This week, we're diving into the glorious world of Buy Nothing Groups with the delightful Ariella Monti (pinch-hitting for our injured Jenny). Think free kayaks, poker tables, random flowers, and a whole lot of community spirit. It's like a virtual garage sale, but everything's free. Seriously.
—
Who Should Listen
Anyone who loves free stuff, wants to declutter their life, or is looking for a way to connect with their community. Plus, anyone who enjoys a good story about a slightly used poker table.
—
What You Get In This Episode
- The lowdown on what Buy Nothing Groups are and how they work (it's not just a free-for-all!)
- Hilarious and heartwarming stories of gifting and receiving (Free. Freaking. Kayak.)
- Practical tips for finding and joining your local Buy Nothing Group
- How to communicate effectively and build positive relationships within the group
- Ideas for exploring new hobbies and decluttering your life, all for free!
—
Bios
CK and her friend, published author Ariella Monti, are diving into the world of Buy Nothing Groups. They’re sharing how you can declutter, save money, and build community, all at the same time.
—
Sources
- The BuyNothing Project
- Visit Ariella’s website here
- Learn about her books and place your preorder here
The best support is a rating and a share.
Love,
CK & GK
View our website at ckandgkpodcast.com. Find us on social media @ckandgkpodcast on
- Instagram
- Facebook
- TikTok
Thanks, y'all!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Caitlin (CK) (00:01):
it's Tuesday, is it?
I don't know.
I can't do it, I need Jenny.
I need Jenny.
Ariella Monti (00:06):
It's Tuesday.
Caitlin (CK) (00:09):
She'll appreciate that so much.
I love you, jenny, me too.
Friends, we're so glad you'rehere.
Welcome to how to Be a Grownup,the podcast.
That is the equivalent ofcalling your mom to help you
fill out your tax forms.
That is the equivalent ofcalling your mom to help you
fill out your tax forms.
So with me again today isprecious precious pod friend and
published author, ariella Monti.
(00:31):
My, oh God, this is a stupidone, poetic mischievous squirrel
, I mean it's accurate.
Not poetic.
Ariella Monti (00:40):
I'm terrible at poetry, but squirrel is pretty
on brand.
Caitlin (CK) (00:45):
Yeah, it is for me too.
Jenny is again out taking careof her busted up knee, and if I
could sprinkle non-addictivepainkillers all over her body I
would do it, but I can't, so wejust wish them to her.
Actually, that is a funny thing.
I sent her she's had a coupleof rough weeks and I sent her
some flowers and I asked herhusband if he would be there to
(01:06):
uh pick them up or like bringthem in the house.
And he was like yeah, can youjust sprinkle them with some
sort of?
And I was like no, so I put inthe note, like JK asked me to
put in you know, sprinkle themwith painkillers, but best I can
do is pollen.
Here you go, love you, anyway.
(01:26):
So thank you so much again,ariella, for being here.
I'm only funny when I havesomeone else to talk to, so you
being here makes a bigdifference, I think you're funny
all the time, but that's justme.
That is the exact correct thingto say.
Flattery will get youeverywhere, my friend.
Okay, we are continuing financeFebruary and this episode.
(01:47):
So Ariella is the like queen oflike knowing where to get the
free stuff.
So I think freebie February isa good way to finish off this
month.
So we talked about librarieslast week and all the free
things you can get there, butthis time we're talking about
like legit, free everything withbuy nothing groups.
Yes, yes.
Ariella Monti (02:05):
Buy nothing groups.
So I'm going to give you thequick and dirty rundown of buy
nothing groups.
Do it Just like with libraries.
Your mileage will vary withthis because every buy nothing
group is going to be run alittle bit differently, so I can
.
The stuff that I'm giving youis from my own experience with
(02:28):
them and hopefully you willenjoy your Buy Nothing group as
much as I do.
Caitlin (CK) (02:34):
I like to sit on the sidelines of my Facebook Buy
Nothing group and eat popcorn,because it is sometimes.
The stuff in there is sohilarious it's like here's my
washer.
That doesn't work.
I swear I didn't put my washerin there that doesn't work.
I made them all in a way, butyou can get really good stuff in
there and some people reallyreally want other people to have
(02:57):
these amazing things that nolonger serve them and want them
to go to a good person who needsthem.
So let's get into this, yeah.
Ariella Monti (03:05):
So what is Buy Nothing and the Buy Nothing
Project?
It's a benefit corporation,which is different than a
nonprofit because it's afor-profit company that must
legally perform a public good.
And yeah, I just learned thatwhen I was doing research for
(03:26):
this podcast.
Caitlin (CK) (03:28):
I did not know that at all.
I thought it was just like hey,here's stuff I don't want in my
neighborhood.
Ariella Monti (03:33):
Well, I knew there was like an overarching,
like umbrella organization, butI didn't know that it was this
benefit corporation.
I figured, if anything, it wasa nonprofit.
But it sounds like legally it'snot a nonprofit but all the
individual groups are run byvolunteers.
(03:54):
And there is an app.
Now I can't vouch for it, Ihave not used it Facebook, I
guess.
Up until the app came around,facebook was sort of the main
central platform for thesegroups.
So I can only speak to how I'vebeen using it on Facebook.
(04:14):
I cannot speak to the apps atall, but it's community based
and the point is to reduce yourconsumption of new items by
getting them used, you know,from your neighbors and to
reduce the amount of stuff thatyou're throwing out or donating,
which a lot of the stuff youdonate just gets tossed anyway.
Caitlin (CK) (04:36):
So awful.
Ariella Monti (04:38):
Right, you're just basically asking somebody
else to throw out your junk, butyou're gifting this stuff to
neighbors who could potentiallyuse it.
Caitlin (CK) (04:47):
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (04:48):
Which you know is great, especially now where
we're all trying to kind ofreduce everything.
Caitlin (CK) (04:58):
Yeah, I mean, spending is hard, especially for
in the age when eggs cost asmuch as diamonds.
So, like, anything that you cando to kind of minimize the
amount of waste that you producebut also minimize the amount of
spending someone else has to do, why not Exactly Like, why not?
Yes, okay, so Facebook is whereI'm familiar with it, but there
(05:20):
is an app and it'scommunity-based.
It's a community-basedorganization.
Okay, what else?
Is there?
Anything else we need to knowthere?
Ariella Monti (05:29):
is a set of like core values and guidelines that,
like any group that's workingunder the buy nothing umbrella.
So there might be like freebiegroups that you can join, but
anything that's going to beworking under the buy nothing
umbrella is going to have to, Iguess, follow these core values
(05:50):
and guidelines.
But there I guess there is abit of flexibility in it, which
is why I said like your mileagemay vary, because how people run
it might be like there's no buynothing police Like like there,
are you sure?
As far as I know, I have notbeen.
Caitlin (CK) (06:12):
No, there's just.
There's just those of us whosit on the sidelines of that
popcorn.
Exactly, exactly.
Show me what's up.
Okay, so how does it work?
Cause I, I'm in one and I'veput something out for people to
pick up, but I've never actuallyutilized this service for
myself.
So I'm very curious how this'veput something out for people to
pick up, but I've neveractually utilized this service
for myself.
So, I'm very curious how thisworks, right, so we'll start out
with the, with gifting.
Ariella Monti (06:30):
So if you have a thing that you want to give to
somebody else, so you take apicture.
If you can take a picture, it'salways appreciated If you do
take a picture of the thing andpost it in the group as a gift.
So, gift house plant Couch.
Caitlin (CK) (06:50):
Yeah, couch, okay, got it yeah.
Ariella Monti (06:52):
Just be transparent, with any damage or
other important information.
Caitlin (CK) (06:57):
Kind of like any Facebook marketplace post Right
Cat scratched on one side ofcouch Right exactly, but
otherwise in great condition.
Doesn't smell.
Ariella Monti (07:08):
Right Cat scratched on one side of couch,
Exactly, but otherwise in greatcondition doesn't smell Right
Non-smoker household, exactlyOkay, then include any
guidelines for the potentialrecipient.
So first come, first serve isdiscouraged.
Oh yeah, because there arepeople who are just going to
like sit on Facebook all day andjust like grab stuff, yeah, and
grab stuff.
So, one of the guidelines is tolet things simmer so more people
(07:32):
can ask to be considered forthe gift.
So you're saying, pleaseconsider me for this gift.
But then sometimes you knowit's okay Occasionally, like if
you're're moving, if you havesomething perishable, sure you
know it's okay to do it every sooften.
When I gave away the last thingI gave away, I was like I'm
(07:53):
giving this to whoever can pickit up this weekend because I
need it out of my house.
Yeah, but usually the stuff Ihave simmers for choosing people
.
You can do it any way you want,but you can say tell me what
you do with it.
Or give me like, if you'regiving away a crock pot or
something it could be like, tellme your favorite crock pot
(08:14):
recipe or share a picture ofyour pet.
Caitlin (CK) (08:18):
Yeah, give me all the doggy pictures.
I want to see those.
Ariella Monti (08:21):
Exactly Like or you know.
Sometimes it's like you know, Ireally want to give this to a
teacher, so I'm prioritizinggiving this to teacher that is
actually how I got my secondmonitor.
Caitlin (CK) (08:33):
Yeah, because I was like I am teaching, I'm in a
school where I can't get asecond monitor, but I need to
have my things up on one screenand be able to talk to my kids
on the other.
Please help me.
Ariella Monti (08:48):
So now you're reminding me that I'd actually
did get it from a buy nothinggroup and it's still sitting.
Caitlin (CK) (08:51):
It's my favorite thing.
Ariella Monti (08:52):
It's like right here on my desk.
Yeah, really helpful.
Okay, I gotcha.
So you let your thing simmerfor a couple of days.
You know you have.
You know, maybe one personwants it, maybe like 15 people
want it.
You pick somebody based on thecriteria.
If you did criteria, personallyI choose at random.
I'll assign a number to eachperson and then I'll ask my kid
hey, pick a number between likeone and five and then like,
(09:14):
whoever that person is, oh, okay.
Or I'll prioritize people whoI've never gifted to before.
Caitlin (CK) (09:21):
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (09:22):
So that's something that you can do as
well.
Yeah, some things that I havegifted is a poker table top, so
it's not a poker table, but it'slike a table top to play poker.
It was sitting behind our couchfor I don't know 15 years and
(09:44):
never used.
Yeah, you just didn't.
Yeah, it just never, never gotused since moving down here.
You know my husband used itquite a bit before we moved um
but I was finally like take thisthing away.
But um, kids toys um a platform, bed, dishes, shot glasses,
plants wow, all kinds of stuff,stuff that I've received.
(10:06):
I've received plants, um,plants are fun.
Everybody's looking for houseplants um new bathroom light
fixtures, so somebody redidtheir bathroom and my bathroom
light fixtures are from the late90s.
Caitlin (CK) (10:22):
Ooh.
Ariella Monti (10:22):
So I bet they're gorgeous.
Oh yeah, I love the like chromeand gold together.
Caitlin (CK) (10:31):
Ooh, mixed metals.
Okay, it sounds like, really,there's just anything that you
can ask for in these sorts ofsituations.
Ariella Monti (10:40):
Yeah, exactly, and that is a good segue to
asking if you have a specific,if you need a specific thing.
So no ask is too big, just gofor it, okay.
I've seen people ask for awashing machine and, like you,
never know what somebody has orwhat somebody is about to get
(11:03):
rid of.
Caitlin (CK) (11:04):
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (11:05):
Maybe they were planning on getting rid of a
thing and they just hadn't doneit yet.
My favorite ask that I justkind of went for was a kayak and
I got one.
Yeah, oh my gosh yeah, I wentkayaking and I was like you know
what I really freaking lovethis.
(11:25):
I went on.
I was like, hey, I just wentkayaking and I was like you know
what I really freaking lovethis?
And I went on.
I was like, hey, I just wentkayaking and I love this and I
want to do it more often.
Does anybody have one just likerotting under their deck that
they want to get rid of?
And I sincerely was notexpecting anybody to say
anything, but there was somebodywho was in the process of
cleaning out a family member'shouse who had passed away
recently, and he had a couple ofkayaks.
(11:49):
So I went and now I have akayak.
Caitlin (CK) (11:53):
A kayak?
That's amazing, I had not eventhought of making that ask.
All right.
Okay, usually I ask for likelittle things, it's good for
this feels like a really goodway to avoid the impulse ADHD
purchase.
Ariella Monti (12:13):
Yes, absolutely.
This is like with the library,and if people haven't listened
they should go back and listen.
Caitlin (CK) (12:20):
Go listen to the library.
Go, listen to the libraryepisode.
Ariella Monti (12:22):
So you can try out a hobby before you buy all
the crap for the hobby.
So you can take the class atthe library, yep, and then ask
your buy nothing group for thesupplies yes, I, I like this.
Caitlin (CK) (12:39):
I also feel like, um, it's a good way to I don't
know, this probably goes alongwith it but like, if you have
something that you need toassist your hobby, like I'm just
thinking about, like all thetimes that I'm on Amazon and I'm
like I really need that need.
Need is a very loose.
Yeah, I need this item to do X,y, z, but I don't want to wait
(13:04):
for it to show up, I'll just payfor it.
But how much money am I losingevery time I do that?
And so it's probably hundredsof dollars just since the start
of 2020 and it's, it's good,like in my case.
Ariella Monti (13:17):
I had gotten rid of our like big ironing board
because I'm a millennial andmillennials don't iron anything.
No, we use the dryer.
Right, exactly I put everythingin the dryer and ours was
broken anyway, like it was alltilted and stuff.
Caitlin (CK) (13:36):
You guys, this is supposed to be an earbuds out
podcast and it almost wasn't outpodcast and it almost it almost
wasn't.
So you are working.
The code switching is is real.
It is a thing that happens onthis show every time because I
am I am pg for my audience, butyou and I both know this is a
(13:59):
sailor's mouth.
Ariella Monti (14:00):
Yeah, yeah, all right okay, absolutely.
Anyway, you said you got rid ofyour big ironing board because
it was right, but I wanted asmall one because I had started
um, I started sewing and so Ineeded something to press the
wrinkles out of fabric.
So before I went and boughtlike a is that what irons?
Do.
It's amazing.
(14:20):
Yes, it takes the wrinkles outof stuff.
No way I know it's wild.
Caitlin (CK) (14:26):
I don't know why you just wouldn't use your dryer
for that, right, exactly.
What's the point?
Okay so, okay, so, did you, yougot, did you?
So you don't have a big one,but you have a small one now,
right, so?
Ariella Monti (14:36):
before I went and like bought a small one.
I just went on the group andsaid, hey, does anybody have one
of those tabletop ironingboards that I can use for crafts
?
It doesn't have to be in supergreat condition.
And somebody was like yes, Ihave one that you can have and I
did not have to buy it.
It's also good for stuff thatcomes in bulk when you don't
(14:57):
need stuff in bulk, so like thebane of my existence, my
goodness bane of my existence,my goodness.
Oh right, so I needed a coupleof um for crochet I needed a
couple of like stitch markers orwhatever they're called yeah,
yeah, I know, yeah, and like youknow, you go on Amazon and you
know you can only get like 500of them and I'm like I don't
(15:20):
need 500 of them, I need likethree, and so four yeah so I
went on by nothing.
I was like can anybody sparelike three of these stitch
markers?
And yeah somebody was like Isure can, because I have 500 of
them.
Caitlin (CK) (15:36):
The last time, because I bought them on Amazon.
And, by the way, it is totallya stitch marker, because, look,
this is my crochet snoopy thatmade and it's, isn't he so sweet
.
I'm not sponsored by thecompany that helped me make this
.
If they ever want to sponsor me, I will do.
I will make all the crochetanimals for you.
Ariella Monti (15:55):
You know who you are, I didn't know you crocheted
animals.
Caitlin (CK) (16:00):
I well, that's a very loose interpretation of the
word.
I crocheted one animal and Ihave it there.
Whenever I am not podcasting inmy free time, I like to make.
I can do it now.
I feel very proud of myselfthat I can make a magic loop.
I know how to do it.
Ariella Monti (16:20):
I either completely forgot that you
crochet, that you also crochet,or this is new information, and
I've known you for like nineyears at this point.
Caitlin (CK) (16:29):
This is a new hobby.
I have not been doing it forvery long.
I've only been doing well.
I started it like last fall,couldn't finish it, and then
finally finished it overChristmas and have more stuff
because I actually really reallydo love it.
Yeah, and I even got like athing to put over my thumb
because I was getting like thatcrochet thumb where it like
starts to hurt after a littlewhile and it goes over my long
(16:50):
fingernails so I can stick myfingernail through it and not
like have my nail be all messedup and rip it.
I just haven't been able to doit in a while.
But I have to make anotherSnoopy, and then I also have a
woodstock that's waiting me andI have a hat and and and um, I
want to make.
The next thing I want to makeactually is the, you know, the
Snoopy, the flying ace.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have thehat, I just need to make it oh
(17:15):
yeah, I just haven't finished it.
Yeah, so that's the next anyway,if that company wants to
sponsor us.
Um, I know Ariella can actuallycrochet.
I can only crochet with thepattern.
Ariella Monti (17:23):
I can't crochet, I can only crochet with the
pattern in front of me.
I can't crochet animals, though.
I only crochet things instraight lines.
Caitlin (CK) (17:28):
Okay, but the company gives you a video for
how to do it.
Okay, it gives you the entirepattern.
All you do is you just go waithow many stitches and then you
just count them up.
This is beside the point.
The point is oh my gosh, adhdis so bad.
Right now, you can get fivestitch markers from a person who
(17:50):
has them nearby, as opposed tobuying 400 from Amazon.
Got it, okay, great, okay.
What else, as I breathehorribly into the microphone,
what else do I need to besuccessful?
I'm literally covering themicrophone with my hands so that
I don't breathe super hard intoit right now because I'm out of
breath from laughing or tryingto suppress my laughter.
What do I need to do to be tohave a good experience with this
(18:14):
?
Because I feel like this couldend badly for someone like me
who doesn't know what I'm doing.
Ariella Monti (18:20):
So how do I do this right?
And so, once again, fulldisclosure and all of the
warnings and stuff.
All by nothing, groups aregoing to run a little bit
differently.
So you know, from beinginvolved in mine for like
six-ish years and using it, thisis the stuff that I have picked
(18:41):
up that I can share with withthe world.
Caitlin (CK) (18:45):
Yeah, share the wealth.
That's important.
Okay, you know, share the freethings.
No, no good keeping All right.
Share the free stuff.
Ariella Monti (18:52):
So the overarching goal of the Buy
Nothing Project is to buildcommunity and to get to know
your neighbors, and it's verymuch like mutual aid, so don't
be an a-hole.
Uh, yeah, okay, great like, iflike, save that for your regular
(19:14):
neighborhood group or next doorthat's where that stuff belongs
.
Caitlin (CK) (19:21):
It's funny because it's true.
That's where you really needthe popcorn emoji.
Right, like you need.
You need the gif of MichaelJackson eating popcorn.
Exactly that's what you need inNextdoor.
Ariella Monti (19:33):
If you're going to be kind on any platform, like
, just do it in your buy nothinggroup, you know.
Caitlin (CK) (19:39):
Right, why not, oh God?
Ariella Monti (19:41):
Seriously, it costs nothing.
It costs nothing to not be ajerk, Okay great, okay, so be
nice.
Follow whatever rules are thenorm.
So each group is going to have,like I said, those specific
guidelines from the Buy NothingProject.
But there might be other rulesthat have been established by
the volunteers.
Just follow them.
(20:01):
And if you don't like them,follow them.
And if you don't like themdon't complain about it, just
talk to the volunteers about it.
Like those rules might be inplace for a reason.
I can't think of a specificexample, but I know at one point
before our my Buy Nothing groupsplit because it had grown, so
(20:21):
it had split into two.
The original one at some pointhad some kind of had a rule and
there was a reason for the rule,oh no oh no, but yeah, just
follow the rules.
Caitlin (CK) (20:35):
I think what people don't understand and if
you have ever been a child in aschool, you should understand
this, and if you are currentlyone of Miss GK's students, you
better understand this.
And if you are currently one ofMs GK's students, you better
understand this the rules youbreak this year, the things you
do this year that are not okay,become the rules for next year.
So if you don't like a rulethat's in a buy nothing group,
(20:56):
it's probably because some dummybefore you did that.
So like that's what happens.
Okay.
So this kind of feels a littlebit like Reddit, where it's like
follow the rules becauseotherwise you but you can't.
Can you get moderated Like?
Can they say like no, you can'tbe part of this.
Ariella Monti (21:14):
Oh yeah, yeah, I've seen people get kicked out
because they were just dramaQueens, you know, they were
constantly stirring up stuff andyou're getting free stuff and
you're going to cause drama.
Get out of here up stuff andyou're getting free stuff and
you're gonna cause drama.
Get out of here.
It's ridiculous.
Yeah, I have to say, like thevolunteers that that run mine
are phenomenal, like they reallyare awesome and severely
(21:34):
underappreciated and they reallytamp down.
They tamp down on drama prettyquickly, so there isn't a lot of
it, but occasionally there aresome troublemakers who need to
take all of that and go totherapy, if not next door.
Caitlin (CK) (21:58):
Oh gosh, Okay so, okay.
So we got.
We're going to be nice, we'regoing to follow the rules.
What else do I need to know todo this right?
Ariella Monti (22:05):
Now you can gift as many items as you want, but
it does become overwhelming ifyou have to track who is getting
each of these things.
You have to prepare all ofthese things, you have to manage
picking up of all these things,so I personally only gift like
(22:26):
one to three things at a time.
Caitlin (CK) (22:28):
Okay.
Ariella Monti (22:30):
I really try to keep it at like one.
Even if I'm doing like one oneweek and then I'll do one
another week.
Caitlin (CK) (22:36):
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (22:36):
I have tried to gift like five things just to
get stuff out and it becomeslike a part-time job.
Caitlin (CK) (22:43):
It's too much.
Ariella Monti (22:45):
Right, yeah, so and when you gift something,
prepare it whatever it is.
Say, I was going to give awaythis water bottle, or something
Like I would.
After I took a picture of it, Iwould take the water bottle and
I would put it in a bag andthen, once I have chosen the
recipient, I would put the nameof that person, like on the bag,
(23:05):
right away On the bag.
Caitlin (CK) (23:06):
Yeah, or the box or whatever.
All right, that makes sense, orthe box Got it Okay.
Ariella Monti (23:10):
When somebody reaches out to you and you're
trying to figure out pickupinstructions, give clear pickup
instructions.
You know I live on a smallcul-de-sac with like four houses
on it, but I still tell themthe color of my mailbox, I tell
them what color cars to expectin the driveway, that they can
(23:31):
even pull into the driveway.
You know like, give peoplethose kinds of directions so
that they know what they'redoing when they come to your
house, where the thing is goingto be located.
So I always put stuff on myfront porch and I will say it's
in a box by the front door withyour name on it.
Caitlin (CK) (23:50):
Can I just say that, as a person who gets
severe anxiety from not knowinglogistics like that, that would
be so helpful to me if I knew.
Like, okay, there's agreenhouse and a blue house, and
then there's a blue greenhouse,a blue house, and then there's
a blue green house.
Mine is the one in the middleof those houses and it has this
color porch and there's a swinghere on the tree and I'm going
(24:10):
to put it in the box and the boxis going to say Caitlin on it.
Yep, because I get so stressedby those little tiny details
that I don't know.
Yeah, I could see that being areally big help, even like, if
for no other reason than it'slike that means that the person
is there, picks up the stuff andthen leaves and it's.
They're not like the creeperhanging around your property.
Ariella Monti (24:29):
Yeah, exactly especially like pre-covid.
You know, by nothing was kindof stressed more, you know,
actually meeting the people thatyou were gifting to, no, and
then covid kind of gave everyonea good reason to do porch
pickup.
It's on my curb and like that'snot to say that, like I won't
(24:50):
chat with people depending onlike what?
Like I had somebody pick up mykids old platform bed so like,
yeah, I was there so I couldhelp them, like, get it out of
the house.
Yeah, exactly, and I have madefriends using this.
So that's not to say that Iwon't engage in conversation
with people, but I also am notgoing to schedule my life around
(25:11):
somebody picking up somethingwhen I can just leave it on my
porch.
No, you know.
Caitlin (CK) (25:17):
Okay, so that is an okay thing to do.
Ariella Monti (25:19):
Absolutely.
Caitlin (CK) (25:20):
As long as you're very clear about, I'm not going
to come out and meet you, rightyeah, friendly neighborhood
Spider-Man, you just have tostay away from me.
Ariella Monti (25:28):
But here's where everything is Exactly, exactly,
like it's going to be right here.
You know, if you have anyquestions, you know, whatever,
whatever, okay, what else?
If you're picking something up,pick it up when you say you're
coming.
Oh, you say you're coming.
(25:49):
Oh, for real.
If you don't, or if you can'tor you forget, like I have, I
can't tell you how many times Ihave like I'm gonna come pick
something up and then completelyforgot because it's out of my
routine.
Just be honest with it.
Like the, the gifter, 99 of thetime is gonna be like oh, that,
you know, happens to me all thetime.
Caitlin (CK) (26:03):
No, big deal, come by tomorrow.
Ariella Monti (26:06):
Especially if it's something that can be left
on the porch.
If it's something big, thenreally try to come there.
Caitlin (CK) (26:14):
Okay, but if I forgot about it and you need it
gone tonight and the personwho's next on the list can come
get it tonight, then Iunderstand and you should be
able to get it, yeah, yeah.
That's the thing, if it needsto be gone.
Ariella Monti (26:28):
When it comes to gifting and choosing recipients
and stuff like the gifter has,they can rescind the gift for
for whatever reason, and a lotof times like that might be no
shows, you know.
So if you don't show up, thegifter could just move on to the
next person.
Sure, I would say, if you'regoing to do that, if you're
(26:50):
going to just gift it to thenext person, like, at least be
clear about it.
Like I've said that I need thisgun within a week and if you
don't pick it up within a week,I'm gifting it to the next
person.
Caitlin (CK) (27:02):
I'm choosing the next person, yeah.
Ariella Monti (27:04):
So it's just, you know, be transparent about it.
Sure, that's how you avoid thetrauma.
Caitlin (CK) (27:10):
Yeah, for sure.
Well, I would also think thatmaybe being transparent about
what it looks like is going tobe a big exactly.
Ariella Monti (27:17):
Yeah, yeah.
So be clear and transparentabout the condition that it's in
the bait, like very basic, likeif you dropped it off at
goodwill or the restore or anyother place where you can donate
and then they sell it.
If they can't sell it, ifthey're just gonna toss it, then
(27:37):
then you need to not yeah,either throw it out or just be
extremely clear about thecondition, because you never
know what somebody can do with abroken thing.
You know, but be clear about it.
This doesn't work Like thatpoker tabletop that we gave away
because it had been behind thecouch but kind of sticking out
(28:01):
from the couch.
The cats used it as a favoritescratching post for a very, very
long time.
Caitlin (CK) (28:09):
Oh, it's so annoying.
Ariella Monti (28:10):
Yeah, and so the case, like the carrying case,
for it was beat beat up.
Yeah, awful, yeah, it wastotally beat up, but the actual
table itself, because it wasfolded in half, the actual table
itself was perfect, yeah, sowhen I, when I listed it, I said
the carrying case has beendemolished, it is garbage, you
(28:33):
know, like you can use it, butit's garbage.
But the actual table on theinside has not been damaged and
somebody still took it.
Yeah, exactly.
Caitlin (CK) (28:42):
Okay, okay.
So here's.
I think let's summarize whatwe've got here.
When it comes to gifting, betransparent about your
conditions, the condition of theitem.
When you need a gone buy, don'tgive it away.
If it's actual trash, right.
When it comes to picking thingsup, use it to try out new
(29:06):
hobbies or get something thatyou were planning to buy but
don't necessarily have to.
No, ask is too big and pick itup when you say you're going to.
But otherwise, this sounds likea great way to save a bunch of
cash on things that you probablyneed around the house and also
probably trips to Goodwill,because if you're me, you have a
box full of things that sayGoodwill on it and it's still in
(29:26):
the back, pretty much yeah.
And now there's probably asecond, a box full of things
that say goodwill on it, andit's still in the back, pretty
much, yeah, it's probably.
And now there's probably asecond box that needs to be
added, because I, yeah, okay,all right.
Well, that all sounds amazing.
I'm about to go, uh, check mybuy nothing group for a couple
of things that might need to be,uh, not purchased.
Yes, do it right.
Yes, okay, we will be rightback for links to resources
(29:48):
mentioned in this episode.
Head on over over tockandgkpodcastcom slash blog to
find everything you need, and besure to follow us on social
media.
Head over to your favoritesocial media network and find us
at CK and GK podcast.
And now back to the show.
And now we are back.
(30:14):
Guys, I'm so good at this.
I'm professional.
I'm a professional podcaster.
I've only been doing this forfour years.
You would think I'd be a lotbetter at it.
Okay, it's obsession time.
Usually, I talk about a productI'm obsessed with, but I
haven't done that recently andI'm very proud of myself, so I'm
going to wait, but I want tohear what yours is first before
I share mine.
Ariella Monti (30:34):
So my new obsession, though I I struggle
to call it an obsession, becausethat would require that I do it
all the time and I don't.
No, you don't, you don't haveto, you can just be really into
it.
Exactly, but something I amreally into is using tarot cards
as writing or journalingprompts.
Caitlin (CK) (30:56):
Did you just call it tarot?
Ariella Monti (30:57):
Did I?
I probably did?
Caitlin (CK) (30:59):
Isn't it tarot?
It is.
Ariella Monti (31:00):
Yeah.
Caitlin (CK) (31:02):
No, I'm here for it.
I got you Okay.
So tarot cards how are youusing tarot cards as a
journaling prompt?
I don't understand.
Ariella Monti (31:09):
So what?
Because I don't actually knowanything about tarot cards.
Obviously because I said canyou read mine, cause I yeah Um
so good, where am I?
Caitlin (CK) (31:21):
I have a.
I have a couple of friends whohave like a.
They're, they do a witchcraftpodcast.
I'm sure amanda is screamingright, right, like what is
happening exactly.
Ariella Monti (31:32):
Yeah, but I have an app, so what I'll do is I
shuffle the cards and I pull acard and then I'll go into my
app to learn, like, what itmeans, and that app will give me
like it kind of gives me likesome key words or an affirmation
and if I'm journaling I willuse those words or use that as a
(31:58):
focal point to reflect.
Caitlin (CK) (32:01):
So oh, I thought you were meaning that you would
just like you.
You pull like the hammer andyou'd be like today.
I hammered something to make myI did not understand.
Ok, I didn't realize that youcould like go and look it up,
right?
Ariella Monti (32:17):
OK, I know nothing about this, so all right
this is cool.
Ok, so you're give me an exampleof like one that you've done
recently, because I'm verycurious is so the last time I
pulled the ace of pentacles andthe app that I was using said it
was opportunity, prosperity andnew venture.
The affirmation that it camewith it said I grasp the
(32:37):
opportunities that are beingoffered to me, okay.
And then I kind of make somenotes about like what it, what
it means, and I kind of tookthat to mean that I need to take
some risks in writing and bookstuff and I need to learn from
my mistakes and invest inconnections and stuff like that.
Caitlin (CK) (32:59):
Oh, this is cool.
I took it to mean, like youjust published your book, girl.
I mean this could be a reallygood thing here.
But all right, no, I like that.
That's okay, that's very cool.
Ariella Monti (33:11):
I hadn't thought to do that, so the the app that
I'm using is labyrinthos.
Okay, I don't know if I saidthat right, so yeah it's been
fun.
Caitlin (CK) (33:20):
It sounds fun.
I mine are always verydifferent from Jenny's yeah, you
have listened to the show, ohyeah, like she always has
something that's like.
She's like I'm obsessed withworms and here's why.
And I'm like okay, well, I like, I like this cupcake this week,
so so mine is is one of thoselike dumb, not insightful ones.
Okay.
Ariella Monti (33:37):
Mine, mine last week was hazelnut Uncrustables.
Caitlin (CK) (33:42):
So but this might this might be dumber, but I
don't care, because it it is my.
It is probably one of myfavorite things that exists on
the internet.
Um, you know, when you get aclose-up picture of someone's
pet and you can see their teethand they're like kind of crooked
or like they're like snaggly orthey're, it's just like a
(34:04):
close-up picture of like your,of the dog's, like little.
Yeah, I'm obsessed with thatand I every time I see that I
will go tea and I like get sohappy because I love them.
So I've talked about this onthe show.
My sisters and I have a groupchat and it's full of like
animal pictures.
Now this morning I got apicture of or no, a video of my
(34:27):
sister's puppy plus a picture ofmy other sister's cat, and then
I sent a picture of my cat andhe was all curled up and like
had a little paw tucked over hisface.
It's just cute.
But sometimes I get pictureswhere like the little tiny teeth
are there and I'm just like andI can't get enough.
So this is a call to action Ifyou have pictures of your pets,
(34:51):
t-first I want to see teeth andthis is t-e-e-e-e-e-e-f teeth.
All right, that's how you sayit, it's t-e-e-e-f.
Like I always think of um inold school, when vince vaughn is
like oh yeah, cheese.
Old school, when Vince Vaughnis like, oh yeah, cheese Teeth.
I need teeth in my life.
(35:12):
So I told you it was dumb.
Ariella Monti (35:15):
I love it.
I need teeth.
That's pure serotonin rightthere.
That's what it is.
Caitlin (CK) (35:21):
There is nothing better than seeing an upside
down puppy with its littletoothers.
Are you kidding me?
Ariella Monti (35:28):
It's the best thing on the planet Pure
serotonin right there.
There is no downside to that.
Caitlin (CK) (35:33):
Like there is nothing bad about it.
There is no, it's.
It's a selfless good deed tosend me a picture of your
animals.
Ariella Monti (35:43):
Right First.
Please just do it I just thisis my please.
Caitlin (CK) (35:47):
I'm begging you.
You can please just do it.
I just this is my please.
I'm begging you.
You can dm me, I will featurethis.
I will feature your pet on mypodcast feed.
If you just send me teeth, I Iwill screenshot, I will draw a
picture around it and I willwrite teeth because I love them.
They make me so happy.
It just makes me like I couldcry, thinking about how cute my
(36:10):
sister's dog has the cutestteeth.
Oh, my god.
Okay, I'm really fine, Ipromise.
No, I really.
I'm like my face is getting red.
I'm getting emotional.
I love him so much.
It's like you know how, um,have you ever seen, uh, chris
and Belle react to the sloth?
yes that's how I feel aboutteeth.
Like I'm so excited just tothink about the potential of
someone's.
I'm so happy.
(36:32):
Please send them to me.
Okay, that's my obsession, andI talked about how.
I talked about the word teethfor five and a half minutes.
I'll never know, but here weare.
All right, give me your, do youhave?
Ariella Monti (36:44):
any gems?
Um, it's not super recent, butI it like popped into my head
when I was thinking about this.
But I have this app called umsky guide astronomy astronomy
yeah, it's an astronomy.
Oh my god, I didn't even planthat astrology and astronomy so
well, I guess tara's notastrology no, okay, sorry, okay,
(37:07):
sorry.
No, that's all right.
Your witchy friends are goingto be so mad at me now, this is
the you know.
Caitlin (CK) (37:16):
I need some white girl with a nose ring to tell me
what the planet is making mesay that's what it feels like.
Earth yeah.
Ariella Monti (37:22):
Yeah, that's what it feels like right now.
Caitlin (CK) (37:23):
Okay, so does it show you the sky?
Ariella Monti (37:26):
and stuff, like tell me about it.
Yeah, so what you can do is you, when you open it up and then
you can like like say you seelike a really big, great star in
the sky and you're like I wantto know what, what, what that is
.
Um, so you just point it andthen it will tell you exactly
what it is.
Caitlin (CK) (37:40):
Stop your phone.
Can you point your phone at thesky that tells you what the
constellation is?
Jenny, you are missing this, sothis girl needs it.
Ariella Monti (37:52):
So Sky Guide is the name of the app, so here's
the thing that I've been lovingabout it and where it's a gem it
will send me alerts when theInternational Space Station is
flying over my house.
Caitlin (CK) (38:06):
That's so cool Right.
Ariella Monti (38:08):
And it'll give me a 10 minute.
It's gonna fly over your housein 10 minutes, yeah and you can
see oh, that's so.
Then we're a couple of timeswhere, like me and the kid will
go outside, and at the rightmoment and because then you also
use the you know the app tolike get you in the right to
follow it and stuff.
So yeah, you can watch it flyover the house.
Caitlin (CK) (38:31):
Yeah, that's super cool.
I like that.
Uh, Jenny would love that Ialso.
One of my favorites for thatkind of stuff is um lunar phase
widget.
Lunar phase widget will tellyou exactly the phase of the
moon, what it looks like.
I recommended this to all myfriends whose kids were having
to go outside at night and studythe moon.
I was like um, but if your kidgoes to bed at eight, how are
(38:52):
you supposed to go outside?
And they're like we don't know.
So I was like none, here you go.
Here's how you do it.
Um, lunar phase widget folks.
So here's, here's myridiculousness of the week.
Are you ready?
Yes, this is so dumb.
I actually think I might havetold you this.
So in this sister chat, I senta message to them, which was
(39:12):
normal.
But here's what's not normal.
I said Sissy's, I have anearworm which, in case you don't
know, that means you have asong stuck in your head.
And I feel like y'all will knowthe song.
And I knew the song was byTalking Heads and I wrote the
words and it sounds likeba-dum-dum, ba-dum-dum,
ba-dum-dum, ba-dum-dum, Wait forit.
(39:33):
And then there is a whistlesound.
Oh, right.
Ariella Monti (39:38):
And then I typed out the whistles, right.
Caitlin (CK) (39:41):
And then I typed out the whistle sound where it
goes eee, that's what I typedout.
And then I typed out a bunch oftimes, right.
How on earth anyone wassupposed to get that?
I will never understand.
And then, two seconds later, Iwent oh my God, I just realized
how dumb it was that I justtried to send y'all that when I
(40:03):
could have.
I could have just gone toSpotify and typed in Talking
Heads and found the song Like,how did I do that?
Anyway, the song that I waslooking for is this Must Be the
Place by Talking Heads.
Okay, that's the song.
Ariella Monti (40:23):
You could have also sent them a voice memo.
Caitlin (CK) (40:26):
I could have done that.
Here's the kicker.
I was typing this Actually, Iwas voice to texting it and Siri
was not getting it right, so Ihad to stop voice texting and
type out but this is why thefact that Siri could not get
that is why we don't.
Ariella Monti (40:46):
So we don't have to worry about AI coming for us,
because smart AI would havebeen able to get that.
Caitlin (CK) (40:53):
I could have just probably even sang it into Siri
and said, hey, what song soundslike?
And then, and then I have anidea for a TikTok series.
I'm not going to tell everybodyhere because I don't want
anybody to steal my idea, andI'll tell you off when we're
done recording.
But the next day I was tryingto remember what song was the
(41:14):
earworm in my head that Icouldn't remember and I had no
idea what it was.
I could not think of it.
To save my life.
I couldn't think of the.
I couldn't think of how themusic started.
So, like all that, but dump,dump stuff.
I'm look, I'm reading it going.
What was that?
How does that song go?
How did I get those words out?
I had no clue what washappening.
(41:35):
And this is why people with ADHD, you need to know they have no
object permanence whatsoever.
This is how they can completelydisassociate from their own
emotions.
This is why when someone says,how are you, I literally have no
idea.
Their own emotions, right likethis, is why when someone says,
how are you?
I literally have no idea.
Exactly because I truly do not.
I know in that moment that I'mangry, sad, hungry, gassy,
(41:55):
whatever it is.
I know those things.
But if you were to ask me infour hours, I'd be like, um, I
don't know, I guess I'm okay,well, my therapist will go.
How are you?
And I'm like I guess I'm okay,well, my therapist will go.
How are you?
And I'm like I don't reallyknow, I guess I'm stressed,
(42:17):
ridiculous.
So anyway, this is me.
Next time you listen to, thismust be the place by Talking
Heads.
Just think of me being a dummyand not being able to say or
look up the song Like why, whycouldn't I, why didn't I think
to just do that?
Why did I have to text mysisters that this is what I was
thinking about?
Ariella Monti (42:32):
because then we wouldn't have this amazing story
.
Caitlin (CK) (42:35):
This is true, yeah , I.
If not, again, what are we herefor?
Downward social comparison,that is.
If nothing else, that isjenny's line, right?
It's like if you, if you can't,if you, if you have no concept
of what's, at least you're notdoing what we did, right.
If you feel like you're notbeing a very good adult, first
(42:56):
of all, I don't know why I thinkthis show is going to help you,
but second of all, you can justuse us for downward social
comparison, right?
Ariella Monti (43:02):
or solidarity.
Caitlin (CK) (43:04):
We're all dumb join everyone knows what they're
doing like no one knows whatwe're doing.
Ariella Monti (43:09):
You need an adultier adult than you to help
you fill out all the forms, I amonly an adulty, adult with the
topic that I'm talking to youabout today.
Do not assume I will forgettomorrow not assume that I am an
adulty adult all the time.
It is only this specific topic.
Caitlin (CK) (43:28):
Right, because I didn't even know that I could go
to Spotify and look up the songand play the intro of each one
of them until I found the one Iwanted.
I had to type out like a dummy.
All right, that's enough ofthis, let's wrap this up.
So Jenny would tell you guys tomake good choices.
Choices.
So do that.
And use the search function onspotify to find your own songs
(43:54):
and use your local buy nothinggroup.
Bye, oh, I'm ridiculous.
it's Tuesday, is it?
I don't know.
I can't do it, I need Jenny.
I need Jenny.
Ariella Monti (00:06):
It's Tuesday.
Caitlin (CK) (00:09):
She'll appreciate that so much.
I love you, jenny, me too.
Friends, we're so glad you'rehere.
Welcome to how to Be a Grownup,the podcast.
That is the equivalent ofcalling your mom to help you
fill out your tax forms.
That is the equivalent ofcalling your mom to help you
fill out your tax forms.
So with me again today isprecious precious pod friend and
published author, ariella Monti.
(00:31):
My, oh God, this is a stupidone, poetic mischievous squirrel
, I mean it's accurate.
Not poetic.
Ariella Monti (00:40):
I'm terrible at poetry, but squirrel is pretty
on brand.
Caitlin (CK) (00:45):
Yeah, it is for me too.
Jenny is again out taking careof her busted up knee, and if I
could sprinkle non-addictivepainkillers all over her body I
would do it, but I can't, so wejust wish them to her.
Actually, that is a funny thing.
I sent her she's had a coupleof rough weeks and I sent her
some flowers and I asked herhusband if he would be there to
(01:06):
uh pick them up or like bringthem in the house.
And he was like yeah, can youjust sprinkle them with some
sort of?
And I was like no, so I put inthe note, like JK asked me to
put in you know, sprinkle themwith painkillers, but best I can
do is pollen.
Here you go, love you, anyway.
(01:26):
So thank you so much again,ariella, for being here.
I'm only funny when I havesomeone else to talk to, so you
being here makes a bigdifference, I think you're funny
all the time, but that's justme.
That is the exact correct thingto say.
Flattery will get youeverywhere, my friend.
Okay, we are continuing financeFebruary and this episode.
(01:47):
So Ariella is the like queen oflike knowing where to get the
free stuff.
So I think freebie February isa good way to finish off this
month.
So we talked about librarieslast week and all the free
things you can get there, butthis time we're talking about
like legit, free everything withbuy nothing groups.
Yes, yes.
Ariella Monti (02:05):
Buy nothing groups.
So I'm going to give you thequick and dirty rundown of buy
nothing groups.
Do it Just like with libraries.
Your mileage will vary withthis because every buy nothing
group is going to be run alittle bit differently, so I can
.
The stuff that I'm giving youis from my own experience with
(02:28):
them and hopefully you willenjoy your Buy Nothing group as
much as I do.
Caitlin (CK) (02:34):
I like to sit on the sidelines of my Facebook Buy
Nothing group and eat popcorn,because it is sometimes.
The stuff in there is sohilarious it's like here's my
washer.
That doesn't work.
I swear I didn't put my washerin there that doesn't work.
I made them all in a way, butyou can get really good stuff in
there and some people reallyreally want other people to have
(02:57):
these amazing things that nolonger serve them and want them
to go to a good person who needsthem.
So let's get into this, yeah.
Ariella Monti (03:05):
So what is Buy Nothing and the Buy Nothing
Project?
It's a benefit corporation,which is different than a
nonprofit because it's afor-profit company that must
legally perform a public good.
And yeah, I just learned thatwhen I was doing research for
(03:26):
this podcast.
Caitlin (CK) (03:28):
I did not know that at all.
I thought it was just like hey,here's stuff I don't want in my
neighborhood.
Ariella Monti (03:33):
Well, I knew there was like an overarching,
like umbrella organization, butI didn't know that it was this
benefit corporation.
I figured, if anything, it wasa nonprofit.
But it sounds like legally it'snot a nonprofit but all the
individual groups are run byvolunteers.
(03:54):
And there is an app.
Now I can't vouch for it, Ihave not used it Facebook, I
guess.
Up until the app came around,facebook was sort of the main
central platform for thesegroups.
So I can only speak to how I'vebeen using it on Facebook.
(04:14):
I cannot speak to the apps atall, but it's community based
and the point is to reduce yourconsumption of new items by
getting them used, you know,from your neighbors and to
reduce the amount of stuff thatyou're throwing out or donating,
which a lot of the stuff youdonate just gets tossed anyway.
Caitlin (CK) (04:36):
So awful.
Ariella Monti (04:38):
Right, you're just basically asking somebody
else to throw out your junk, butyou're gifting this stuff to
neighbors who could potentiallyuse it.
Caitlin (CK) (04:47):
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (04:48):
Which you know is great, especially now where
we're all trying to kind ofreduce everything.
Caitlin (CK) (04:58):
Yeah, I mean, spending is hard, especially for
in the age when eggs cost asmuch as diamonds.
So, like, anything that you cando to kind of minimize the
amount of waste that you producebut also minimize the amount of
spending someone else has to do, why not Exactly Like, why not?
Yes, okay, so Facebook is whereI'm familiar with it, but there
(05:20):
is an app and it'scommunity-based.
It's a community-basedorganization.
Okay, what else?
Is there?
Anything else we need to knowthere?
Ariella Monti (05:29):
is a set of like core values and guidelines that,
like any group that's workingunder the buy nothing umbrella.
So there might be like freebiegroups that you can join, but
anything that's going to beworking under the buy nothing
umbrella is going to have to, Iguess, follow these core values
(05:50):
and guidelines.
But there I guess there is abit of flexibility in it, which
is why I said like your mileagemay vary, because how people run
it might be like there's no buynothing police Like like there,
are you sure?
As far as I know, I have notbeen.
Caitlin (CK) (06:12):
No, there's just.
There's just those of us whosit on the sidelines of that
popcorn.
Exactly, exactly.
Show me what's up.
Okay, so how does it work?
Cause I, I'm in one and I'veput something out for people to
pick up, but I've never actuallyutilized this service for
myself.
So I'm very curious how this'veput something out for people to
pick up, but I've neveractually utilized this service
for myself.
So, I'm very curious how thisworks, right, so we'll start out
with the, with gifting.
Ariella Monti (06:30):
So if you have a thing that you want to give to
somebody else, so you take apicture.
If you can take a picture, it'salways appreciated If you do
take a picture of the thing andpost it in the group as a gift.
So, gift house plant Couch.
Caitlin (CK) (06:50):
Yeah, couch, okay, got it yeah.
Ariella Monti (06:52):
Just be transparent, with any damage or
other important information.
Caitlin (CK) (06:57):
Kind of like any Facebook marketplace post Right
Cat scratched on one side ofcouch Right exactly, but
otherwise in great condition.
Doesn't smell.
Ariella Monti (07:08):
Right Cat scratched on one side of couch,
Exactly, but otherwise in greatcondition doesn't smell Right
Non-smoker household, exactlyOkay, then include any
guidelines for the potentialrecipient.
So first come, first serve isdiscouraged.
Oh yeah, because there arepeople who are just going to
like sit on Facebook all day andjust like grab stuff, yeah, and
grab stuff.
So, one of the guidelines is tolet things simmer so more people
(07:32):
can ask to be considered forthe gift.
So you're saying, pleaseconsider me for this gift.
But then sometimes you knowit's okay Occasionally, like if
you're're moving, if you havesomething perishable, sure you
know it's okay to do it every sooften.
When I gave away the last thingI gave away, I was like I'm
(07:53):
giving this to whoever can pickit up this weekend because I
need it out of my house.
Yeah, but usually the stuff Ihave simmers for choosing people
.
You can do it any way you want,but you can say tell me what
you do with it.
Or give me like, if you'regiving away a crock pot or
something it could be like, tellme your favorite crock pot
(08:14):
recipe or share a picture ofyour pet.
Caitlin (CK) (08:18):
Yeah, give me all the doggy pictures.
I want to see those.
Ariella Monti (08:21):
Exactly Like or you know.
Sometimes it's like you know, Ireally want to give this to a
teacher, so I'm prioritizinggiving this to teacher that is
actually how I got my secondmonitor.
Caitlin (CK) (08:33):
Yeah, because I was like I am teaching, I'm in a
school where I can't get asecond monitor, but I need to
have my things up on one screenand be able to talk to my kids
on the other.
Please help me.
Ariella Monti (08:48):
So now you're reminding me that I'd actually
did get it from a buy nothinggroup and it's still sitting.
Caitlin (CK) (08:51):
It's my favorite thing.
Ariella Monti (08:52):
It's like right here on my desk.
Yeah, really helpful.
Okay, I gotcha.
So you let your thing simmerfor a couple of days.
You know you have.
You know, maybe one personwants it, maybe like 15 people
want it.
You pick somebody based on thecriteria.
If you did criteria, personallyI choose at random.
I'll assign a number to eachperson and then I'll ask my kid
hey, pick a number between likeone and five and then like,
(09:14):
whoever that person is, oh, okay.
Or I'll prioritize people whoI've never gifted to before.
Caitlin (CK) (09:21):
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (09:22):
So that's something that you can do as
well.
Yeah, some things that I havegifted is a poker table top, so
it's not a poker table, but it'slike a table top to play poker.
It was sitting behind our couchfor I don't know 15 years and
(09:44):
never used.
Yeah, you just didn't.
Yeah, it just never, never gotused since moving down here.
You know my husband used itquite a bit before we moved um
but I was finally like take thisthing away.
But um, kids toys um a platform, bed, dishes, shot glasses,
plants wow, all kinds of stuff,stuff that I've received.
(10:06):
I've received plants, um,plants are fun.
Everybody's looking for houseplants um new bathroom light
fixtures, so somebody redidtheir bathroom and my bathroom
light fixtures are from the late90s.
Caitlin (CK) (10:22):
Ooh.
Ariella Monti (10:22):
So I bet they're gorgeous.
Oh yeah, I love the like chromeand gold together.
Caitlin (CK) (10:31):
Ooh, mixed metals.
Okay, it sounds like, really,there's just anything that you
can ask for in these sorts ofsituations.
Ariella Monti (10:40):
Yeah, exactly, and that is a good segue to
asking if you have a specific,if you need a specific thing.
So no ask is too big, just gofor it, okay.
I've seen people ask for awashing machine and, like you,
never know what somebody has orwhat somebody is about to get
(11:03):
rid of.
Caitlin (CK) (11:04):
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (11:05):
Maybe they were planning on getting rid of a
thing and they just hadn't doneit yet.
My favorite ask that I justkind of went for was a kayak and
I got one.
Yeah, oh my gosh yeah, I wentkayaking and I was like you know
what I really freaking lovethis.
(11:25):
I went on.
I was like, hey, I just wentkayaking and I was like you know
what I really freaking lovethis?
And I went on.
I was like, hey, I just wentkayaking and I love this and I
want to do it more often.
Does anybody have one just likerotting under their deck that
they want to get rid of?
And I sincerely was notexpecting anybody to say
anything, but there was somebodywho was in the process of
cleaning out a family member'shouse who had passed away
recently, and he had a couple ofkayaks.
(11:49):
So I went and now I have akayak.
Caitlin (CK) (11:53):
A kayak?
That's amazing, I had not eventhought of making that ask.
All right.
Okay, usually I ask for likelittle things, it's good for
this feels like a really goodway to avoid the impulse ADHD
purchase.
Ariella Monti (12:13):
Yes, absolutely.
This is like with the library,and if people haven't listened
they should go back and listen.
Caitlin (CK) (12:20):
Go listen to the library.
Go, listen to the libraryepisode.
Ariella Monti (12:22):
So you can try out a hobby before you buy all
the crap for the hobby.
So you can take the class atthe library, yep, and then ask
your buy nothing group for thesupplies yes, I, I like this.
Caitlin (CK) (12:39):
I also feel like, um, it's a good way to I don't
know, this probably goes alongwith it but like, if you have
something that you need toassist your hobby, like I'm just
thinking about, like all thetimes that I'm on Amazon and I'm
like I really need that need.
Need is a very loose.
Yeah, I need this item to do X,y, z, but I don't want to wait
(13:04):
for it to show up, I'll just payfor it.
But how much money am I losingevery time I do that?
And so it's probably hundredsof dollars just since the start
of 2020 and it's, it's good,like in my case.
Ariella Monti (13:17):
I had gotten rid of our like big ironing board
because I'm a millennial andmillennials don't iron anything.
No, we use the dryer.
Right, exactly I put everythingin the dryer and ours was
broken anyway, like it was alltilted and stuff.
Caitlin (CK) (13:36):
You guys, this is supposed to be an earbuds out
podcast and it almost wasn't outpodcast and it almost it almost
wasn't.
So you are working.
The code switching is is real.
It is a thing that happens onthis show every time because I
am I am pg for my audience, butyou and I both know this is a
(13:59):
sailor's mouth.
Ariella Monti (14:00):
Yeah, yeah, all right okay, absolutely.
Anyway, you said you got rid ofyour big ironing board because
it was right, but I wanted asmall one because I had started
um, I started sewing and so Ineeded something to press the
wrinkles out of fabric.
So before I went and boughtlike a is that what irons?
Do.
It's amazing.
(14:20):
Yes, it takes the wrinkles outof stuff.
No way I know it's wild.
Caitlin (CK) (14:26):
I don't know why you just wouldn't use your dryer
for that, right, exactly.
What's the point?
Okay so, okay, so, did you, yougot, did you?
So you don't have a big one,but you have a small one now,
right, so?
Ariella Monti (14:36):
before I went and like bought a small one.
I just went on the group andsaid, hey, does anybody have one
of those tabletop ironingboards that I can use for crafts
?
It doesn't have to be in supergreat condition.
And somebody was like yes, Ihave one that you can have and I
did not have to buy it.
It's also good for stuff thatcomes in bulk when you don't
(14:57):
need stuff in bulk, so like thebane of my existence, my
goodness bane of my existence,my goodness.
Oh right, so I needed a coupleof um for crochet I needed a
couple of like stitch markers orwhatever they're called yeah,
yeah, I know, yeah, and like youknow, you go on Amazon and you
know you can only get like 500of them and I'm like I don't
(15:20):
need 500 of them, I need likethree, and so four yeah so I
went on by nothing.
I was like can anybody sparelike three of these stitch
markers?
And yeah somebody was like Isure can, because I have 500 of
them.
Caitlin (CK) (15:36):
The last time, because I bought them on Amazon.
And, by the way, it is totallya stitch marker, because, look,
this is my crochet snoopy thatmade and it's, isn't he so sweet
.
I'm not sponsored by thecompany that helped me make this
.
If they ever want to sponsor me, I will do.
I will make all the crochetanimals for you.
Ariella Monti (15:55):
You know who you are, I didn't know you crocheted
animals.
Caitlin (CK) (16:00):
I well, that's a very loose interpretation of the
word.
I crocheted one animal and Ihave it there.
Whenever I am not podcasting inmy free time, I like to make.
I can do it now.
I feel very proud of myselfthat I can make a magic loop.
I know how to do it.
Ariella Monti (16:20):
I either completely forgot that you
crochet, that you also crochet,or this is new information, and
I've known you for like nineyears at this point.
Caitlin (CK) (16:29):
This is a new hobby.
I have not been doing it forvery long.
I've only been doing well.
I started it like last fall,couldn't finish it, and then
finally finished it overChristmas and have more stuff
because I actually really reallydo love it.
Yeah, and I even got like athing to put over my thumb
because I was getting like thatcrochet thumb where it like
starts to hurt after a littlewhile and it goes over my long
(16:50):
fingernails so I can stick myfingernail through it and not
like have my nail be all messedup and rip it.
I just haven't been able to doit in a while.
But I have to make anotherSnoopy, and then I also have a
woodstock that's waiting me andI have a hat and and and um, I
want to make.
The next thing I want to makeactually is the, you know, the
Snoopy, the flying ace.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have thehat, I just need to make it oh
(17:15):
yeah, I just haven't finished it.
Yeah, so that's the next anyway,if that company wants to
sponsor us.
Um, I know Ariella can actuallycrochet.
I can only crochet with thepattern.
Ariella Monti (17:23):
I can't crochet, I can only crochet with the
pattern in front of me.
I can't crochet animals, though.
I only crochet things instraight lines.
Caitlin (CK) (17:28):
Okay, but the company gives you a video for
how to do it.
Okay, it gives you the entirepattern.
All you do is you just go waithow many stitches and then you
just count them up.
This is beside the point.
The point is oh my gosh, adhdis so bad.
Right now, you can get fivestitch markers from a person who
(17:50):
has them nearby, as opposed tobuying 400 from Amazon.
Got it, okay, great, okay.
What else, as I breathehorribly into the microphone,
what else do I need to besuccessful?
I'm literally covering themicrophone with my hands so that
I don't breathe super hard intoit right now because I'm out of
breath from laughing or tryingto suppress my laughter.
What do I need to do to be tohave a good experience with this
(18:14):
?
Because I feel like this couldend badly for someone like me
who doesn't know what I'm doing.
Ariella Monti (18:20):
So how do I do this right?
And so, once again, fulldisclosure and all of the
warnings and stuff.
All by nothing, groups aregoing to run a little bit
differently.
So you know, from beinginvolved in mine for like
six-ish years and using it, thisis the stuff that I have picked
(18:41):
up that I can share with withthe world.
Caitlin (CK) (18:45):
Yeah, share the wealth.
That's important.
Okay, you know, share the freethings.
No, no good keeping All right.
Share the free stuff.
Ariella Monti (18:52):
So the overarching goal of the Buy
Nothing Project is to buildcommunity and to get to know
your neighbors, and it's verymuch like mutual aid, so don't
be an a-hole.
Uh, yeah, okay, great like, iflike, save that for your regular
(19:14):
neighborhood group or next doorthat's where that stuff belongs
.
Caitlin (CK) (19:21):
It's funny because it's true.
That's where you really needthe popcorn emoji.
Right, like you need.
You need the gif of MichaelJackson eating popcorn.
Exactly that's what you need inNextdoor.
Ariella Monti (19:33):
If you're going to be kind on any platform, like
, just do it in your buy nothinggroup, you know.
Caitlin (CK) (19:39):
Right, why not, oh God?
Ariella Monti (19:41):
Seriously, it costs nothing.
It costs nothing to not be ajerk, Okay great, okay, so be
nice.
Follow whatever rules are thenorm.
So each group is going to have,like I said, those specific
guidelines from the Buy NothingProject.
But there might be other rulesthat have been established by
the volunteers.
Just follow them.
(20:01):
And if you don't like them,follow them.
And if you don't like themdon't complain about it, just
talk to the volunteers about it.
Like those rules might be inplace for a reason.
I can't think of a specificexample, but I know at one point
before our my Buy Nothing groupsplit because it had grown, so
(20:21):
it had split into two.
The original one at some pointhad some kind of had a rule and
there was a reason for the rule,oh no oh no, but yeah, just
follow the rules.
Caitlin (CK) (20:35):
I think what people don't understand and if
you have ever been a child in aschool, you should understand
this, and if you are currentlyone of Miss GK's students, you
better understand this.
And if you are currently one ofMs GK's students, you better
understand this the rules youbreak this year, the things you
do this year that are not okay,become the rules for next year.
So if you don't like a rulethat's in a buy nothing group,
(20:56):
it's probably because some dummybefore you did that.
So like that's what happens.
Okay.
So this kind of feels a littlebit like Reddit, where it's like
follow the rules becauseotherwise you but you can't.
Can you get moderated Like?
Can they say like no, you can'tbe part of this.
Ariella Monti (21:14):
Oh yeah, yeah, I've seen people get kicked out
because they were just dramaQueens, you know, they were
constantly stirring up stuff andyou're getting free stuff and
you're going to cause drama.
Get out of here up stuff andyou're getting free stuff and
you're gonna cause drama.
Get out of here.
It's ridiculous.
Yeah, I have to say, like thevolunteers that that run mine
are phenomenal, like they reallyare awesome and severely
(21:34):
underappreciated and they reallytamp down.
They tamp down on drama prettyquickly, so there isn't a lot of
it, but occasionally there aresome troublemakers who need to
take all of that and go totherapy, if not next door.
Caitlin (CK) (21:58):
Oh gosh, Okay so, okay.
So we got.
We're going to be nice, we'regoing to follow the rules.
What else do I need to know todo this right?
Ariella Monti (22:05):
Now you can gift as many items as you want, but
it does become overwhelming ifyou have to track who is getting
each of these things.
You have to prepare all ofthese things, you have to manage
picking up of all these things,so I personally only gift like
(22:26):
one to three things at a time.
Caitlin (CK) (22:28):
Okay.
Ariella Monti (22:30):
I really try to keep it at like one.
Even if I'm doing like one oneweek and then I'll do one
another week.
Caitlin (CK) (22:36):
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (22:36):
I have tried to gift like five things just to
get stuff out and it becomeslike a part-time job.
Caitlin (CK) (22:43):
It's too much.
Ariella Monti (22:45):
Right, yeah, so and when you gift something,
prepare it whatever it is.
Say, I was going to give awaythis water bottle, or something
Like I would.
After I took a picture of it, Iwould take the water bottle and
I would put it in a bag andthen, once I have chosen the
recipient, I would put the nameof that person, like on the bag,
(23:05):
right away On the bag.
Caitlin (CK) (23:06):
Yeah, or the box or whatever.
All right, that makes sense, orthe box Got it Okay.
Ariella Monti (23:10):
When somebody reaches out to you and you're
trying to figure out pickupinstructions, give clear pickup
instructions.
You know I live on a smallcul-de-sac with like four houses
on it, but I still tell themthe color of my mailbox, I tell
them what color cars to expectin the driveway, that they can
(23:31):
even pull into the driveway.
You know like, give peoplethose kinds of directions so
that they know what they'redoing when they come to your
house, where the thing is goingto be located.
So I always put stuff on myfront porch and I will say it's
in a box by the front door withyour name on it.
Caitlin (CK) (23:50):
Can I just say that, as a person who gets
severe anxiety from not knowinglogistics like that, that would
be so helpful to me if I knew.
Like, okay, there's agreenhouse and a blue house, and
then there's a blue greenhouse,a blue house, and then there's
a blue green house.
Mine is the one in the middleof those houses and it has this
color porch and there's a swinghere on the tree and I'm going
(24:10):
to put it in the box and the boxis going to say Caitlin on it.
Yep, because I get so stressedby those little tiny details
that I don't know.
Yeah, I could see that being areally big help, even like, if
for no other reason than it'slike that means that the person
is there, picks up the stuff andthen leaves and it's.
They're not like the creeperhanging around your property.
Ariella Monti (24:29):
Yeah, exactly especially like pre-covid.
You know, by nothing was kindof stressed more, you know,
actually meeting the people thatyou were gifting to, no, and
then covid kind of gave everyonea good reason to do porch
pickup.
It's on my curb and like that'snot to say that, like I won't
(24:50):
chat with people depending onlike what?
Like I had somebody pick up mykids old platform bed so like,
yeah, I was there so I couldhelp them, like, get it out of
the house.
Yeah, exactly, and I have madefriends using this.
So that's not to say that Iwon't engage in conversation
with people, but I also am notgoing to schedule my life around
(25:11):
somebody picking up somethingwhen I can just leave it on my
porch.
No, you know.
Caitlin (CK) (25:17):
Okay, so that is an okay thing to do.
Ariella Monti (25:19):
Absolutely.
Caitlin (CK) (25:20):
As long as you're very clear about, I'm not going
to come out and meet you, rightyeah, friendly neighborhood
Spider-Man, you just have tostay away from me.
Ariella Monti (25:28):
But here's where everything is Exactly, exactly,
like it's going to be right here.
You know, if you have anyquestions, you know, whatever,
whatever, okay, what else?
If you're picking something up,pick it up when you say you're
coming.
Oh, you say you're coming.
(25:49):
Oh, for real.
If you don't, or if you can'tor you forget, like I have, I
can't tell you how many times Ihave like I'm gonna come pick
something up and then completelyforgot because it's out of my
routine.
Just be honest with it.
Like the, the gifter, 99 of thetime is gonna be like oh, that,
you know, happens to me all thetime.
Caitlin (CK) (26:03):
No, big deal, come by tomorrow.
Ariella Monti (26:06):
Especially if it's something that can be left
on the porch.
If it's something big, thenreally try to come there.
Caitlin (CK) (26:14):
Okay, but if I forgot about it and you need it
gone tonight and the personwho's next on the list can come
get it tonight, then Iunderstand and you should be
able to get it, yeah, yeah.
That's the thing, if it needsto be gone.
Ariella Monti (26:28):
When it comes to gifting and choosing recipients
and stuff like the gifter has,they can rescind the gift for
for whatever reason, and a lotof times like that might be no
shows, you know.
So if you don't show up, thegifter could just move on to the
next person.
Sure, I would say, if you'regoing to do that, if you're
(26:50):
going to just gift it to thenext person, like, at least be
clear about it.
Like I've said that I need thisgun within a week and if you
don't pick it up within a week,I'm gifting it to the next
person.
Caitlin (CK) (27:02):
I'm choosing the next person, yeah.
Ariella Monti (27:04):
So it's just, you know, be transparent about it.
Sure, that's how you avoid thetrauma.
Caitlin (CK) (27:10):
Yeah, for sure.
Well, I would also think thatmaybe being transparent about
what it looks like is going tobe a big exactly.
Ariella Monti (27:17):
Yeah, yeah.
So be clear and transparentabout the condition that it's in
the bait, like very basic, likeif you dropped it off at
goodwill or the restore or anyother place where you can donate
and then they sell it.
If they can't sell it, ifthey're just gonna toss it, then
(27:37):
then you need to not yeah,either throw it out or just be
extremely clear about thecondition, because you never
know what somebody can do with abroken thing.
You know, but be clear about it.
This doesn't work Like thatpoker tabletop that we gave away
because it had been behind thecouch but kind of sticking out
(28:01):
from the couch.
The cats used it as a favoritescratching post for a very, very
long time.
Caitlin (CK) (28:09):
Oh, it's so annoying.
Ariella Monti (28:10):
Yeah, and so the case, like the carrying case,
for it was beat beat up.
Yeah, awful, yeah, it wastotally beat up, but the actual
table itself, because it wasfolded in half, the actual table
itself was perfect, yeah, sowhen I, when I listed it, I said
the carrying case has beendemolished, it is garbage, you
(28:33):
know, like you can use it, butit's garbage.
But the actual table on theinside has not been damaged and
somebody still took it.
Yeah, exactly.
Caitlin (CK) (28:42):
Okay, okay.
So here's.
I think let's summarize whatwe've got here.
When it comes to gifting, betransparent about your
conditions, the condition of theitem.
When you need a gone buy, don'tgive it away.
If it's actual trash, right.
When it comes to picking thingsup, use it to try out new
(29:06):
hobbies or get something thatyou were planning to buy but
don't necessarily have to.
No, ask is too big and pick itup when you say you're going to.
But otherwise, this sounds likea great way to save a bunch of
cash on things that you probablyneed around the house and also
probably trips to Goodwill,because if you're me, you have a
box full of things that sayGoodwill on it and it's still in
(29:26):
the back, pretty much yeah.
And now there's probably asecond, a box full of things
that say goodwill on it, andit's still in the back, pretty
much, yeah, it's probably.
And now there's probably asecond box that needs to be
added, because I, yeah, okay,all right.
Well, that all sounds amazing.
I'm about to go, uh, check mybuy nothing group for a couple
of things that might need to be,uh, not purchased.
Yes, do it right.
Yes, okay, we will be rightback for links to resources
(29:48):
mentioned in this episode.
Head on over over tockandgkpodcastcom slash blog to
find everything you need, and besure to follow us on social
media.
Head over to your favoritesocial media network and find us
at CK and GK podcast.
And now back to the show.
And now we are back.
(30:14):
Guys, I'm so good at this.
I'm professional.
I'm a professional podcaster.
I've only been doing this forfour years.
You would think I'd be a lotbetter at it.
Okay, it's obsession time.
Usually, I talk about a productI'm obsessed with, but I
haven't done that recently andI'm very proud of myself, so I'm
going to wait, but I want tohear what yours is first before
I share mine.
Ariella Monti (30:34):
So my new obsession, though I I struggle
to call it an obsession, becausethat would require that I do it
all the time and I don't.
No, you don't, you don't haveto, you can just be really into
it.
Exactly, but something I amreally into is using tarot cards
as writing or journalingprompts.
Caitlin (CK) (30:56):
Did you just call it tarot?
Ariella Monti (30:57):
Did I?
I probably did?
Caitlin (CK) (30:59):
Isn't it tarot?
It is.
Ariella Monti (31:00):
Yeah.
Caitlin (CK) (31:02):
No, I'm here for it.
I got you Okay.
So tarot cards how are youusing tarot cards as a
journaling prompt?
I don't understand.
Ariella Monti (31:09):
So what?
Because I don't actually knowanything about tarot cards.
Obviously because I said canyou read mine, cause I yeah Um
so good, where am I?
Caitlin (CK) (31:21):
I have a.
I have a couple of friends whohave like a.
They're, they do a witchcraftpodcast.
I'm sure amanda is screamingright, right, like what is
happening exactly.
Ariella Monti (31:32):
Yeah, but I have an app, so what I'll do is I
shuffle the cards and I pull acard and then I'll go into my
app to learn, like, what itmeans, and that app will give me
like it kind of gives me likesome key words or an affirmation
and if I'm journaling I willuse those words or use that as a
(31:58):
focal point to reflect.
Caitlin (CK) (32:01):
So oh, I thought you were meaning that you would
just like you.
You pull like the hammer andyou'd be like today.
I hammered something to make myI did not understand.
Ok, I didn't realize that youcould like go and look it up,
right?
Ariella Monti (32:17):
OK, I know nothing about this, so all right
this is cool.
Ok, so you're give me an exampleof like one that you've done
recently, because I'm verycurious is so the last time I
pulled the ace of pentacles andthe app that I was using said it
was opportunity, prosperity andnew venture.
The affirmation that it camewith it said I grasp the
(32:37):
opportunities that are beingoffered to me, okay.
And then I kind of make somenotes about like what it, what
it means, and I kind of tookthat to mean that I need to take
some risks in writing and bookstuff and I need to learn from
my mistakes and invest inconnections and stuff like that.
Caitlin (CK) (32:59):
Oh, this is cool.
I took it to mean, like youjust published your book, girl.
I mean this could be a reallygood thing here.
But all right, no, I like that.
That's okay, that's very cool.
Ariella Monti (33:11):
I hadn't thought to do that, so the the app that
I'm using is labyrinthos.
Okay, I don't know if I saidthat right, so yeah it's been
fun.
Caitlin (CK) (33:20):
It sounds fun.
I mine are always verydifferent from Jenny's yeah, you
have listened to the show, ohyeah, like she always has
something that's like.
She's like I'm obsessed withworms and here's why.
And I'm like okay, well, I like, I like this cupcake this week,
so so mine is is one of thoselike dumb, not insightful ones.
Okay.
Ariella Monti (33:37):
Mine, mine last week was hazelnut Uncrustables.
Caitlin (CK) (33:42):
So but this might this might be dumber, but I
don't care, because it it is my.
It is probably one of myfavorite things that exists on
the internet.
Um, you know, when you get aclose-up picture of someone's
pet and you can see their teethand they're like kind of crooked
or like they're like snaggly orthey're, it's just like a
(34:04):
close-up picture of like your,of the dog's, like little.
Yeah, I'm obsessed with thatand I every time I see that I
will go tea and I like get sohappy because I love them.
So I've talked about this onthe show.
My sisters and I have a groupchat and it's full of like
animal pictures.
Now this morning I got apicture of or no, a video of my
(34:27):
sister's puppy plus a picture ofmy other sister's cat, and then
I sent a picture of my cat andhe was all curled up and like
had a little paw tucked over hisface.
It's just cute.
But sometimes I get pictureswhere like the little tiny teeth
are there and I'm just like andI can't get enough.
So this is a call to action Ifyou have pictures of your pets,
(34:51):
t-first I want to see teeth andthis is t-e-e-e-e-e-e-f teeth.
All right, that's how you sayit, it's t-e-e-e-f.
Like I always think of um inold school, when vince vaughn is
like oh yeah, cheese.
Old school, when Vince Vaughnis like, oh yeah, cheese Teeth.
I need teeth in my life.
(35:12):
So I told you it was dumb.
Ariella Monti (35:15):
I love it.
I need teeth.
That's pure serotonin rightthere.
That's what it is.
Caitlin (CK) (35:21):
There is nothing better than seeing an upside
down puppy with its littletoothers.
Are you kidding me?
Ariella Monti (35:28):
It's the best thing on the planet Pure
serotonin right there.
There is no downside to that.
Caitlin (CK) (35:33):
Like there is nothing bad about it.
There is no, it's.
It's a selfless good deed tosend me a picture of your
animals.
Ariella Monti (35:43):
Right First.
Please just do it I just thisis my please.
Caitlin (CK) (35:47):
I'm begging you.
You can please just do it.
I just this is my please.
I'm begging you.
You can dm me, I will featurethis.
I will feature your pet on mypodcast feed.
If you just send me teeth, I Iwill screenshot, I will draw a
picture around it and I willwrite teeth because I love them.
They make me so happy.
It just makes me like I couldcry, thinking about how cute my
(36:10):
sister's dog has the cutestteeth.
Oh, my god.
Okay, I'm really fine, Ipromise.
No, I really.
I'm like my face is getting red.
I'm getting emotional.
I love him so much.
It's like you know how, um,have you ever seen, uh, chris
and Belle react to the sloth?
yes that's how I feel aboutteeth.
Like I'm so excited just tothink about the potential of
someone's.
I'm so happy.
(36:32):
Please send them to me.
Okay, that's my obsession, andI talked about how.
I talked about the word teethfor five and a half minutes.
I'll never know, but here weare.
All right, give me your, do youhave?
Ariella Monti (36:44):
any gems?
Um, it's not super recent, butI it like popped into my head
when I was thinking about this.
But I have this app called umsky guide astronomy astronomy
yeah, it's an astronomy.
Oh my god, I didn't even planthat astrology and astronomy so
well, I guess tara's notastrology no, okay, sorry, okay,
(37:07):
sorry.
No, that's all right.
Your witchy friends are goingto be so mad at me now, this is
the you know.
Caitlin (CK) (37:16):
I need some white girl with a nose ring to tell me
what the planet is making mesay that's what it feels like.
Earth yeah.
Ariella Monti (37:22):
Yeah, that's what it feels like right now.
Caitlin (CK) (37:23):
Okay, so does it show you the sky?
Ariella Monti (37:26):
and stuff, like tell me about it.
Yeah, so what you can do is you, when you open it up and then
you can like like say you seelike a really big, great star in
the sky and you're like I wantto know what, what, what that is
.
Um, so you just point it andthen it will tell you exactly
what it is.
Caitlin (CK) (37:40):
Stop your phone.
Can you point your phone at thesky that tells you what the
constellation is?
Jenny, you are missing this, sothis girl needs it.
Ariella Monti (37:52):
So Sky Guide is the name of the app, so here's
the thing that I've been lovingabout it and where it's a gem it
will send me alerts when theInternational Space Station is
flying over my house.
Caitlin (CK) (38:06):
That's so cool Right.
Ariella Monti (38:08):
And it'll give me a 10 minute.
It's gonna fly over your housein 10 minutes, yeah and you can
see oh, that's so.
Then we're a couple of timeswhere, like me and the kid will
go outside, and at the rightmoment and because then you also
use the you know the app tolike get you in the right to
follow it and stuff.
So yeah, you can watch it flyover the house.
Caitlin (CK) (38:31):
Yeah, that's super cool.
I like that.
Uh, Jenny would love that Ialso.
One of my favorites for thatkind of stuff is um lunar phase
widget.
Lunar phase widget will tellyou exactly the phase of the
moon, what it looks like.
I recommended this to all myfriends whose kids were having
to go outside at night and studythe moon.
I was like um, but if your kidgoes to bed at eight, how are
(38:52):
you supposed to go outside?
And they're like we don't know.
So I was like none, here you go.
Here's how you do it.
Um, lunar phase widget folks.
So here's, here's myridiculousness of the week.
Are you ready?
Yes, this is so dumb.
I actually think I might havetold you this.
So in this sister chat, I senta message to them, which was
(39:12):
normal.
But here's what's not normal.
I said Sissy's, I have anearworm which, in case you don't
know, that means you have asong stuck in your head.
And I feel like y'all will knowthe song.
And I knew the song was byTalking Heads and I wrote the
words and it sounds likeba-dum-dum, ba-dum-dum,
ba-dum-dum, ba-dum-dum, Wait forit.
(39:33):
And then there is a whistlesound.
Oh, right.
Ariella Monti (39:38):
And then I typed out the whistles, right.
Caitlin (CK) (39:41):
And then I typed out the whistle sound where it
goes eee, that's what I typedout.
And then I typed out a bunch oftimes, right.
How on earth anyone wassupposed to get that?
I will never understand.
And then, two seconds later, Iwent oh my God, I just realized
how dumb it was that I justtried to send y'all that when I
(40:03):
could have.
I could have just gone toSpotify and typed in Talking
Heads and found the song Like,how did I do that?
Anyway, the song that I waslooking for is this Must Be the
Place by Talking Heads.
Okay, that's the song.
Ariella Monti (40:23):
You could have also sent them a voice memo.
Caitlin (CK) (40:26):
I could have done that.
Here's the kicker.
I was typing this Actually, Iwas voice to texting it and Siri
was not getting it right, so Ihad to stop voice texting and
type out but this is why thefact that Siri could not get
that is why we don't.
Ariella Monti (40:46):
So we don't have to worry about AI coming for us,
because smart AI would havebeen able to get that.
Caitlin (CK) (40:53):
I could have just probably even sang it into Siri
and said, hey, what song soundslike?
And then, and then I have anidea for a TikTok series.
I'm not going to tell everybodyhere because I don't want
anybody to steal my idea, andI'll tell you off when we're
done recording.
But the next day I was tryingto remember what song was the
(41:14):
earworm in my head that Icouldn't remember and I had no
idea what it was.
I could not think of it.
To save my life.
I couldn't think of the.
I couldn't think of how themusic started.
So, like all that, but dump,dump stuff.
I'm look, I'm reading it going.
What was that?
How does that song go?
How did I get those words out?
I had no clue what washappening.
(41:35):
And this is why people with ADHD, you need to know they have no
object permanence whatsoever.
This is how they can completelydisassociate from their own
emotions.
This is why when someone says,how are you, I literally have no
idea.
Their own emotions, right likethis, is why when someone says,
how are you?
I literally have no idea.
Exactly because I truly do not.
I know in that moment that I'mangry, sad, hungry, gassy,
(41:55):
whatever it is.
I know those things.
But if you were to ask me infour hours, I'd be like, um, I
don't know, I guess I'm okay,well, my therapist will go.
How are you?
And I'm like I guess I'm okay,well, my therapist will go.
How are you?
And I'm like I don't reallyknow, I guess I'm stressed,
(42:17):
ridiculous.
So anyway, this is me.
Next time you listen to, thismust be the place by Talking
Heads.
Just think of me being a dummyand not being able to say or
look up the song Like why, whycouldn't I, why didn't I think
to just do that?
Why did I have to text mysisters that this is what I was
thinking about?
Ariella Monti (42:32):
because then we wouldn't have this amazing story
.
Caitlin (CK) (42:35):
This is true, yeah , I.
If not, again, what are we herefor?
Downward social comparison,that is.
If nothing else, that isjenny's line, right?
It's like if you, if you can't,if you, if you have no concept
of what's, at least you're notdoing what we did, right.
If you feel like you're notbeing a very good adult, first
(42:56):
of all, I don't know why I thinkthis show is going to help you,
but second of all, you can justuse us for downward social
comparison, right?
Ariella Monti (43:02):
or solidarity.
Caitlin (CK) (43:04):
We're all dumb join everyone knows what they're
doing like no one knows whatwe're doing.
Ariella Monti (43:09):
You need an adultier adult than you to help
you fill out all the forms, I amonly an adulty, adult with the
topic that I'm talking to youabout today.
Do not assume I will forgettomorrow not assume that I am an
adulty adult all the time.
It is only this specific topic.
Caitlin (CK) (43:28):
Right, because I didn't even know that I could go
to Spotify and look up the songand play the intro of each one
of them until I found the one Iwanted.
I had to type out like a dummy.
All right, that's enough ofthis, let's wrap this up.
So Jenny would tell you guys tomake good choices.
Choices.
So do that.
And use the search function onspotify to find your own songs
(43:54):
and use your local buy nothinggroup.
Bye, oh, I'm ridiculous.
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