March 11, 2025 • 48 mins
Feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, or just plain over it? You’re not alone. In this episode, we’re breaking down mindfulness in a way that’s practical, accessible, and even a little funny. Whether you’ve got ADHD, a packed schedule, or just a serious case of “mom brain,” we’ve got a simple mindfulness exercise that you can do anywhere—yes, even while doing dishes.
—
Who Should Listen
- Moms who feel like they’re constantly juggling a million things and need a quick reset.
- Anyone who’s tried mindfulness before but found it too abstract or intimidating.
- Busy parents looking for simple, actionable ways to reduce stress and stay present.
—
What You Get In This Episode
- A clear definition of mindfulness—and why it’s not just about sitting cross-legged in a dark room.
- A simple, tactile mindfulness exercise you can do with any object (even a cup of coffee or a leaf!).
- Tips for incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine, whether you’ve got 5 seconds or 5 minutes.
- Why mindfulness is like a “fire extinguisher” for small stressors—not a full-blown crisis solution.
- A guided meditation from certified yoga instructor (and published author!) Ariella Monti to help you reset in just 5 minutes.
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👉 Ready to give mindfulness a try? Grab your favorite object (a rock, a leaf, or even your coffee) and join us for a quick, guided meditation at the end of the episode. Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast and follow us on social media for more tips on how to be a grown-up without losing your mind!
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Bios
Caitlin Kindred (CK):
A former teacher, mom, and self-proclaimed “recovering overthinker,” Caitlin is on a mission to help moms navigate the chaos of adulthood with humor and practical advice. She’s passionate about making self-care and mindfulness accessible for everyone—especially busy moms.
Ariella Monti (Guest Co-Host):
A certified yoga instructor, published author, and mom, Ariella brings a wealth of knowledge about mindfulness and self-care. With a background in yoga, she’s all about helping people find calm in the chaos—one deep breath (or mindful moment) at a time. Learn more about her and her books here.
—
Sources
- What Is Mindfulness? | Yoga International
- Are Mindfulness and Meditation the Same? | Yoga International
- Additional Reading: The Miracle of Mindfulness, An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh
The best support is a rating and a share.
Love,
CK & GK
View our website at ckandgkpodcast.com. Find us on social media @ckandgkpodcast on
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Thanks, y'all!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Caitlin Kindred (00:01):
Hello.
Still don't know what day it is.
For you, it's a day.
It's a day, and we're so gladyou're here, regardless of what
day it is.
This is how to Be a Grown-Up.
This is the how-to show thatgives you advice on being a
grown-up and all of the downwardsocial comparison that you
might ever need in your life.
(00:22):
I'm Caitlin and I don't think Iintroduced myself in last
week's episode, but I'm Caitlin,I'm CK and with me today is I'm
not GK, you are not.
GK.
Instead you are Ariella Monti,my published author friend.
Oh my gosh, so exciting.
(00:42):
She is here with me again today, while Jenny is now recovering
from knee surgery.
Jen, we love you.
We're so glad you're on thepath to healing.
You're probably in really roughshape right now because you're
just a few days post-op, but weare thinking about you and I
mentioned this in last week'sepisode.
But if you want to supportJenny in her recovery, please
(01:03):
just reach out to me usingeither that contact us page on
our website or by sending a textthrough this link in our show
notes, and I'll get you a way tohelp her out.
Today we are continuing ourSpring Into Self-Care which I'm
still very proud of series witha discussion about mindfulness,
(01:26):
because Ariella is a certifiedyoga instructor and this is one
of her areas of expertise andit's a good self-care topic.
So I'm just going to put thisout there.
One of my goals for this yearis to spend more time practicing
meditation.
I was really good about it atthe end of last year I would say
(01:48):
like all of I'm going to bebusinessy here all of Q4, so,
like October through December, Iwas really good about it and I
think I did it almost every day,but then when I went on my like
holiday break or whatever, Ijust got out of the habit of it,
because ADHD will suck atmaking habits if it's not part
(02:10):
of a routine, and I just haven'tdone as well with it this year.
I did meditate most of the daysthis past week, but I still I'm
trying to get myself back intoit, so this timing is absolutely
perfect.
Ariella Monti (02:24):
I'm really excited for us to talk about
this today, so hopefully, theexercise that I'm going to teach
y'all today will help makehaving a mindfulness practice
and a meditation practice easier, because it is a really, really
simple way to bring it intoyour life and like just find
(02:50):
little spots of it throughoutthe day and eventually, when you
do it over and over again, itbecomes so ingrained that it
just sort of happens.
Caitlin Kindred (03:01):
I'm very excited.
I love, I love a good exercise.
I love a good practicalapplication of what we're
learning right now.
So'm very excited, I love, Ilove a good exercise.
I love a good practicalapplication of what we're
learning right now.
So this is awesome Okay.
Ariella Monti (03:10):
So I have been a yoga teacher since 2019, but I
will say that my background inmindfulness is really not that
extensive.
So there are other teachers,other yoga teachers out there
who really really specialize ina mindfulness practice and how
(03:31):
it relates to yoga, and they aremuch better sources for that
information.
My main experience, on top ofteaching yoga is also I've been
in therapy for a very long time,as we all could be, and much of
what I've learned aboutmindfulness has come from my my
(03:55):
own therapist, who has extensiveclinical training in these
modalities, and she also happensto be a yoga teacher.
So that's perfect for you.
Yeah, it just it just kind ofhappened that way, which is
phenomenal.
Caitlin Kindred (04:11):
So this exercise that you're going to
teach us today will help thoseof us who are not necessarily
accustomed to having thesemoments of mindfulness in our
day.
Ariella Monti (04:22):
Absolutely, yes, absolutely.
So, to start off, with, what ismindfulness?
So it's becoming kind of a likea buzzword at this point.
You know, be mindful of this.
Like it feels, it almost feelsa little trendy and a little bit
disingenuous at this point, butthere is a lot of clinical
information out there aboutmindfulness and how it impacts
(04:43):
our stress levels and our body.
Caitlin Kindred (04:45):
I appreciate that you said that the word is
trendy, because I also thinkthat I might be using it in the
wrong context, like I'll say tomy child like you need to be
mindful of what you're doing,but I don't think that's what
we're getting at here and Ithink I need to use a different
word when I'm talking to himabout this, because mindfulness
is not about necessarilyself-awareness in the context
(05:07):
that I'm using it.
Yes, so can you just define theword for me so that I stop
using it?
Ariella Monti (05:14):
So the definition that I'm going to be using
comes from a couple of articlesfrom Yoga International and
included those links, so they'llbe in the show notes.
But by definition, mindfulnessrefers to the informal practice
of present moment awareness.
Okay, so it is being fullypresent in whatever activity you
(05:38):
are doing and by being presentit is experiencing that moment
like with all of your senses.
So it's different than likewhen we tell our kids to be
mindful, like that is just kindof like baseline awareness of,
like their surroundings.
But with mindfulness you arereally honing in on one focal
(06:07):
point and one thing.
Oh yeah, I've definitely beenusing that I mean, it's one of
those like the thing we knowabout words is that words have
multiple definitions, right, andbut when we're talking about
mindfulness as a form ofself-care, like, we're using it
in the sense that we want to becompletely present and
(06:28):
completely aware of, like theone thing that we're doing, okay
thing, it helps us tune outeverything else that's going on,
so that we can tune in to whatour body is telling us, what our
(06:52):
mind is telling us.
It helps.
It also helps us tune into oursurroundings.
Caitlin Kindred (06:58):
This is interesting.
I feel like this could bereally good for someone who
experiences panic attacks orthose states of overwhelm.
This could be really helpfulfor people like that.
Ariella Monti (07:11):
It's very similar to that panic attack, that
activity, that when people arehaving a panic attack where they
focus on like something you cansee, something, you can hear,
something, you can smell.
It's very.
That would be an example of amindfulness practice.
This exercise is kind of thebefore that you know it's the,
(07:38):
it's not the prevention of.
Caitlin Kindred (07:40):
It's the non-rescue.
It's the non-rescue.
Ariella Monti (07:41):
Yeah, exactly, it's the same sort of skill, but
it's not necessarily whatyou're going to be doing when
you are having a panic attack.
You know what I'm saying.
Caitlin Kindred (07:51):
Yeah, I do, and I think that that relates to
what we talked about last weekwith self-care.
Self-care is not about it's notthe fire extinguisher when the
house is on fire.
Self-care is the fireextinguisher when you have like
a tiny little like you knowkitchen fire, Right, Like when
(08:12):
it's something when and when thepan on the stove, like that's.
So that seems to be more ofwhat this is, Whereas the panic
attack moment you need theentire, you know fire truck.
Ariella Monti (08:17):
This is like daily maintenance mindfulness.
Caitlin Kindred (08:22):
Yes, this is the car tweezers.
Exactly, this is your cartweezers and not the full on wax
session Right, got it Okay,understood.
Ariella Monti (08:32):
And this is an activity that I do with my yoga
students, who tend to be older,they tend to be seniors, they
tend to be retired, chronicallyill, injured.
They are phenomenal andwonderful and I absolutely adore
them and I've been doing thispractice with them at least once
(08:54):
a session and our sessions aresix weeks, so at least once a
session I will do this exercisewith them and they really,
really enjoy it and they bringit into their everyday lives and
have found it really helpful.
Caitlin Kindred (09:07):
I love that.
That's great that you're doingthat.
Okay, well, I'm ready Tell mehow this works.
Ariella Monti (09:13):
Okay so what you're going to do is you're
going to grab an object of anykind.
So when I do this in my class,I usually bring a little bag of
my crystals.
I also.
In that little bag is also acouple of tiny sticks, a few
(09:34):
feathers, just an object withsome kind of like texture or
color or whatever.
Okay, and this object is goingto be your focal point.
This is what you're going toput all of your attention onto.
For the next like, however longyou do this exercise.
(09:57):
So when I do it in class, it'susually like 10, 5 to 10 minutes
, 10, 5 to 10 minutes.
When I do it at home, it's like30 seconds.
Okay, this is very much what Ithink of and our bluey fans are
going to find this familiar.
But the episode of bluey calledborn yesterday, where bandit is
(10:22):
born yeah, bandit was born, hewas just born yesterday.
So he's discovering the worldand all the way.
At the end, chili asks where'syour father?
And he's sitting outside withthis leaf in his hand and he's
just staring at it.
That's what we're doing.
Caitlin Kindred (10:38):
And that's such a sweet little moment too, like
you can really feel himappreciating what's happening.
I just got goosebumps.
Guys, I'm a bluey fan.
Bluey gave me goosebumps.
It gives me it regularly doeswhen I watch it.
It's so sweet, but like thatlittle moment just is so, so
sweet.
Okay, I, I, I am seeing it inmy brain.
(10:59):
I understand what you're tryingto get me to do so.
Ariella Monti (11:01):
So that is, that's our goal.
So you're going to take yourobject and you're going to go
take that object someplace whereyou feel comfortable.
It can be your bed, it can beoutside, it can be your favorite
couch, whatever.
Go someplace comfortable.
Okay, you've got this object inyour hands and if you're
(11:22):
comfortable with closing youreyes, you can close your eyes
and just start to observe theobject.
You're observing, you're notjudging, so you're observing the
(11:51):
texture, you're observing thefeel of your fingertips on it.
You can observe the feel ofyour palm on it.
You can observe the feel ofyour palm on it.
And these observations comewith, like I said, no judgment.
(12:15):
They're simply observations.
There's no good, there's no bad, it just is.
And then from touch you canmove on to the, your other
senses.
So you can open your eyes andyou can look at it and,
depending on what you have inyour hands, you can observe the
(12:35):
colors, you can observe the waylight refracts off of it, you
can observe the bumps and thegrooves and, depending on what
you have, you can observe itwith taste, you can observe it
with smell.
I always tell my students notto observe my stuff with taste,
(12:58):
but if you're doing this withyour favorite cup of coffee.
You can observe it with taste,you can observe it with smell,
and once you've really examinedthis object, you can be curious
about it.
Where did it come from beforeit entered my home?
(13:24):
And as you're going through thisexercise for as long as you'd
like five minutes, 50 seconds,five seconds during that time,
your attention and your mind isfocused on the activity or the
(13:47):
objects and not everything elsegoing on, and all of your senses
are honing on to the leaf inyour hands.
(14:07):
And it is not.
It is now taking a break.
It's a respite from all theother stuff that it is worrying
about, and that is going to calmyour mind.
It's going to calm your body,it's going to get you back to a
baseline.
It's not going to put out thefire, but it's going to get you
(14:31):
to a baseline that will allowyou to kind of be more present
and aware with everything else.
Caitlin Kindred (14:43):
Okay, the interesting piece to me was the
no judgment piece.
Right, you're not saying?
I don't like how this feels.
You're just saying this feelsyeah, that's a really
interesting part, because to meI never know what I'm supposed
to say to myself in my head inthose moments, but I caught
myself saying like, oh, I like.
And then you were like, butwithout judgment, I went
(15:05):
nevermind.
Ariella Monti (15:05):
You know what I mean.
Caitlin Kindred (15:06):
It was it was like a just kidding sort of
moment, but it was good for mebecause I could just say, like
this part feels bumpy, this partfeels smooth, this part feels
squishy, this part you know whatI mean.
Ariella Monti (15:20):
It was interesting.
Take it a step further.
When you find yourself saying,like I like the feel of this.
The next step would be like youknow the why.
Like this feels soft, which iswhy I like it.
Like this feels bumpy, which iswhy I don't like it, and so
(15:42):
you're just kind of taking thatnext step.
You know, even the liking orthe not liking is not
necessarily judgment, but likethat part is, but the
observation isn't.
So it's allowing you to kind ofhone in on why you're feeling
the way you do, which issomething like that.
(16:05):
You know, us ADHDers have areally hard time with that's.
A marker of ADHD is not beingable to describe our feelings,
our emotions.
Like I don't know why a thingbothers me, it just feels icky
in my body.
But I can hone in on theickiness that I'm feeling.
Caitlin Kindred (16:26):
Yeah, I'm also thinking about the importance of
the separation between I don'tlike how this feels and this is
scratchy, which is why I don'tlike how this feels.
There is a difference betweenthose two statements and when
you're talking about especiallyfeelings, I think that there's
(16:48):
something to be said for I feelangry versus that makes me angry
, like those are two differentthings, because one of them is
you placing judgment on yourselfand then becoming that thing,
you become angry when the otherone is on yourself and then
becoming that thing, you becomeangry when the other one is, I
(17:13):
feel angry.
I am not angry, I feel angry,and those are.
I think that's a very importantdistinction to make when it
comes to recovering from fightor flight or recovering from a
stressful situation, is beingable to separate you from the
emotion, even just in that tinyway.
So I think if that, if thepractice that we did where you
(17:33):
have an object in front of you,starts to help you make that
distinction between the emotionconsuming you, you being the
emotion, versus an object makingyou feel an emotion, that's a
big connection to be able to getto at some point.
So it seems to me that this isan anchor, an object of focus to
(17:59):
help me make the distinctionbetween what I am feeling and
what is actually happening.
Ariella Monti (18:07):
I use that same sort of idea when I teach
balance in my yoga classes.
So I will have my studentsstand with just their feet on
the ground and just have themfocus on their feet.
So the sense, and not not justlike the actual foot, but the
sensations of their footinteracting with the surface
(18:32):
underneath them, like so forsome people it's the mat, some
people have like a blanket orsocks on.
So I will ask them to justobserve the way the bottoms of
their feet are interacting withthat surface and then I'll have
them go a little bit deeper.
Where I'll have them?
I never have them do anything.
(18:53):
I always invite them to.
I always invite them to invitethem to focus on the way their
feet adjust, adjust to the, toany little movements of their
body.
So you know, if you close youreyes, your body will start to
sway because it needs.
You know something to kind ofright.
So your body will start to swayand if you take your attention
(19:18):
and you bring it to your feet,you can start to notice the
minor and little adjustmentsyour feet make when your body is
swaying.
So the way your feet areworking to keep your body
(19:43):
upright Okay, and that you cando like you're standing in line
at the grocery store orsomething.
Caitlin Kindred (19:47):
That's a good point, because I need something
physical to anchor my brain to,because I can't, I have a really
difficult time with abstractconcepts, so this practice of
holding something in your handor focusing on your feet is a
really helpful one for me.
Ariella Monti (20:08):
Yeah, and what I like about using a physical
object and teaching this withphysical object, because I could
do the same type of practicewith, like a meditation or
something, and I do sometimes doguided meditation, but there
are lots of people who can'tpicture.
You know, I might say, like,picture a stream, like, but they
(20:29):
are unable to.
That's so hard for me.
Yeah, whereas I sure I willpicture, I will give you details
and all of that kind of stuff,but if you have, you know the
object and you can physicallylook at it, because that's the
other thing too.
Like we all, capitalism ingeneral and wellness, like
(20:53):
capital W wellness has kind oftaught us that we need to do
this in a certain way and thatway needs to be sitting
cross-legged on the floor in adark room with our eyes closed,
and a lot of this practice islike visual and tactile
observation.
Caitlin Kindred (21:10):
Well, it's so much more accessible when you
make it concrete.
Think about these abstractconcepts of things that we try
to teach kids Like.
Right now I have in my headthis concept of teaching algebra
, which is something that I didfor my students.
It is very difficult to say toa student, like there's a
missing number in the world.
We don't know what that numberis, but we're going to call it X
(21:32):
, right, like that's really hard.
But there's a program that I'mnot going to say the name of,
where you have a scale and thenyou have a four and like a pawn
piece, and then you have themiddle of the scale is an equal
sign.
And then on the other side youhave an eight.
And it's easy to say to a kidthere's a four and a missing
(21:53):
number that we don't know, butwe do know that when we put them
together it equals eight.
And that concreteness of that,all of a sudden it makes sense.
So when someone says to me I'mgoing to pick on Headspace a
little bit here visualizeyourself and this golden liquid
is consuming you from the feetup and that is melting your
(22:17):
stress.
I'm not kidding, that's what hesays.
That for me is incrediblydifficult.
I never picture myself likethat.
The closest I've gotten is, youknow, those like those hot
springs in Japan with themonkeys who sit in the snow.
You know what I'm talking about.
But they sit in there in thesnow and they sit in that hot
(22:37):
spring thing.
That's the closest that mybrain gets to it, where I'm like
, all right, I'm going to sit inthe snow, and you know what I'm
talking about, but they sit in,they're in the snow and they
sit in that hot spring thing.
That's the closest that mybrain gets to it, where I'm like
all right, I'm gonna sit in themonkey, the monkey sulfur, the
monkey hot tub.
That's like where my brain goes.
That one sounds amazing,doesn't it right?
I'm gonna sit in the right, Iwant to sit in the monkey hot
tub.
Why not so?
but that's as close as I get toit, because I'm like okay, I, my
(22:57):
body, my feet are in the monkeyhot tub and I always call it,
the monkey hot tub too, eventhough I know that's not what it
is, and and then, like, as I goin, my body starts to warm up
and I feel relaxed.
Or the other one that I've doneis like the floating in the
dead sea thing, where it's likethis, that super salty water and
everyone just like gets in andfloats right and it probably
feels amazing, which, by the way, is another like sensory thing
(23:19):
that I really want to try islike a float tank.
That sounds amazing, um, butthat's the closest I can get to
it, because it's not the idea ofa golden liquid starting at my
toes and coming up to my head.
It just sounds like pee and Ican't handle it.
Like, I'm just not into it.
Yeah, you're welcome, but italso is so abstract that I can't
(23:43):
access that thinking.
I need something that's goingto be much more concrete and
tactile, and so the idea ofhaving an object in my hands
makes a lot more sense, and Ialso appreciate the
accessibility of.
You're right, you don't have tobe sitting in a dark room with
your legs crossed.
(24:04):
You can do this while you'restaring out the window doing
dishes.
So that brings me to my nextpoint, which is finding time for
mindfulness practices like theone that you just described.
I don't necessarily always feellike I have the time to stop,
(24:26):
or my brain is not allowing meto stop, but are there ways that
I can do this, like while I'mdoing chores?
Is there a way to do that?
Ariella Monti (24:35):
Yeah, absolutely so, with chores, and this is
something that you'll see in alot of mindfulness books and
stuff.
One that is a good one is theMiracle of Mindfulness.
I put the link here the Miracleof Mindfulness by Thich Nhat
Hanh.
He's a very famous Buddhistmonk Very famous, yeah.
So if you're doing a chore, sayyou're Washing dishes.
(24:59):
Yeah, washing dishes is thegood one.
So say you're washing dishes.
Okay, just focus on youractions while washing dishes.
So focus on the feel of thewater on your hands, focus on
the sound of the water runningfrom the faucet.
(25:19):
Focus on the sound of thedishes being placed in the
dishwasher.
Caitlin Kindred (25:27):
I like this.
I'm thinking about how thisapplies to self-care.
Again, you mentioned that it'sthe fire extinguisher in the
tiny fire, it's not the entirefirehouse, right.
But I'm thinking about thingsthat that I forget to do during
the day.
Like, sometimes I, even thoughI take medication that makes me
(25:48):
very thirsty, I forget that Ineed to drink water and I will
just sit there and not be andjust not think about it, and
then all of a sudden I'll have amoment where I'm like oh, I'm
hungry, oh I have to go to thebathroom, oh, my gosh, I have to
have water.
Like I feel like this.
Taking a few moments to do thatcould really help me kind of
(26:09):
remember what I actuallyphysically need in that moment,
because I think sometimes thosephysical needs are things I
forget to address during the dayyeah, yeah, that is.
Ariella Monti (26:20):
I think that's a big part of it is that you, you
start to become more aware moreaware and more present, of kind
of like, what your body isfeeling and doing at any you
know, at any given time itstarts to take your body and
your nervous system out ofconstant fight or flight, or at
(26:44):
least it takes that baseline.
Because, like I don't think wecould ever and this is what I
tell my students all the timewhen we talk about meditation
and the idea of, like, clearingyour mind and like all that
stuff I like I tell them likethat doesn't exist for me, it
doesn't exist in our society,it's not gonna happen.
But you can practice focusingon the one thing, and there is
(27:06):
science that that does start tobring down our baseline fight or
flight, parasympathetic nervoussystem, it it like if you're
existing at an eight, it's notgoing to take you to a zero, but
maybe with time it takes you toa six, you know, and if your
(27:27):
baseline comes down to, you know, like a six from an eight,
that's a big improvement.
Caitlin Kindred (27:33):
That's a big improvement, yeah, okay, so
you've given us a miniwalkthrough of how this works.
You've given us a reason why weneed to have something physical
to focus on as an anchor,whether it's something in our
hand or focusing on our feet,especially for those of us who
are new to this practice.
(27:55):
I know for you, being a verynature-minded person, this
probably is going to lookdifferent than it would for me,
so maybe walk us through what itmight look like for you.
Ariella Monti (28:11):
When I personally will do this practice.
Most of the time I don't evenrealize I'm doing it, but I'm
sitting here at my desk and Ihave a bird feeder like one of
those window bird feeders likestuck right to my window, yeah.
And I will look away from myscreen and I will just watch
this chickadee look for theperfect sunflower.
(28:33):
Little seed, yeah, yeah, ohsweet and then fly off that.
That could be five seconds.
Caitlin Kindred (28:43):
you do those moments like over and over and
over during the day and itstarts to add up yeah, yeah, I
could see that that seems like areally accessible way to
incorporate this into youreveryday as part of self-care.
I like that.
Ariella Monti (29:04):
Yeah, yeah.
And when I write up the blogpost for this, I'm going to put
that picture of bandit healerlooking at a leaf and, like,
just channel your inner bandithealer looking at a leaf and
just spend 30 seconds staring atit.
And again, as we've been saying,it's not going to put out the
fire, it's the, I would say, ifwe're going to keep using the
(29:28):
fire metaphor, it's the safetyprecautions that you do to
prevent a fire, and sometimesfires still happen and so you
have like the next steps, butthis is like the don't keep
cooking oil right next to yourburner.
Caitlin Kindred (29:48):
Right.
Ariella Monti (29:49):
Yeah, this is like don't play with matches,
right.
Caitlin Kindred (29:55):
Okay, so all of this information is really
helpful.
I think it'd be reallyeffective if people have an
opportunity to try kind of whatyou're talking about here.
So what we're going to do isAriella is going to guide you
through a meditation at the endof this episode.
So if you'd like to stickaround and practice this, as she
(30:15):
would with her students, stickaround to the end of the episode
and she will walk you throughone of these guided mindfulness
sessions and you can determinesort of how well it works for
you, see how you feel, and thenthere'll be some other resources
that you can try in our shownotes for additional guided
meditation.
And if you live in the areawhere Ariella teaches yoga, you
(30:39):
can go join her class and try itthere too.
Okay, we will be right back Forlinks to resources mentioned in
this episode.
Head on over tockandgkpodcastcom slash blog to
find everything you need, and besure to follow us on social
media.
Head over to your favoritesocial media network and find us
(31:01):
at CK and GK podcast.
And now back to the show.
Now we're back and we haveobsessions and gems to discuss,
so I'd like to hear what yourobsession is, please, and thank
you.
Ariella Monti (31:18):
My obsession is adding a little bit of whimsy to
my life.
Nice, and I am doing that bymaking these tell me what that
is.
Caitlin Kindred (31:29):
It is.
I don't know what it is, but Ilove it.
Ariella Monti (31:39):
Okay, so I take pottery.
I'm not super good at pottery,but I take pottery and I have
this little dish.
The mold itself, if you're oldenough to know, is probably an
ashtray mold.
Okay, yeah, I gotcha.
It is, you know like rightright, right, okay, and then I
had a little extra clay, so Imade this little mushroom
adorable right, and then I wentoutside the other day and I
(32:01):
pulled up.
I have a lot of moss growing inmy backyard and in my front yard
, so it's not like I took theonly moss that was in my
backyard.
There is plenty.
Caitlin Kindred (32:11):
Oh my gosh, so much judgment, I care, so much
there is someone out there.
Ariella Monti (32:19):
I know, though, there's someone, yeah, but
they're probably aren'tlistening to this show, so don't
worry about it.
No, that's fair.
That's fair, okay.
Caitlin Kindred (32:35):
So I went and I grabbed, you know, some moss
and I put it in this little dishand I added this little
mushroom and now I have thislittle moss garden.
It's like a little tiny Zengarden that you don't have to do
anything.
Will the moss keep growing?
Or is it just like done?
No, no, no, you just spray itwith water and it'll just keep
going.
Ariella Monti (32:48):
Yeah, I haven't tried doing this inside yet, but
I think the trick is just goingto be finding, like, the right
spot in the house for it,because, like moss is one of
those tricky things that likesshade and water, but most of the
moss I have in my backyard isin direct sunlight for 12 hours.
Caitlin Kindred (33:12):
Oh, that's weird.
Okay, who knows?
But yeah, that's really cute, Ilove it.
It's so cute.
I'm obsessed with the whimsyhere, so you're going to need to
take a picture of that andwe'll put it in the blog post
for the episode, because it'sreally cute.
I think it's a very goodrepresentation of this episode,
actually, like you could justfocus on that and you could
touch it.
Yeah, I think it's a very goodrepresentation of this episode,
(33:33):
actually, like you could justfocus on that and you could
touch it.
Yeah, I think it's great, veryadorable.
Yeah, well, I'm going to copyyou from last week.
The weather in Austin right nowis absolutely glorious.
I sat outside and read a bookwhich was very this feels very
indulgent, but I did this fortwo hours yesterday.
I just sat outside, was verythis feels very indulgent, but I
(33:54):
did this for two hoursyesterday.
I just sat outside and I thinkI got a teeny, tiny little
sunburn because I use retinoland my face is in the sun, but
only half of it.
So that's fun, uh, but it wasstill like this weather is
amazing.
I can sit out here all day longin this.
It's not polliny yet outside,like we mentioned last week, but
yeah, oh, it's so beautiful.
So that's my obsession.
(34:14):
This week is just good weather.
But what about gems?
Do you have any of those?
Um?
Ariella Monti (34:20):
this was pretty cute.
It's also happens to be potteryrelated.
So the pottery I started doingit because my son has been doing
it for a few years now he'seight and a half, as you know,
and he's been taking classes onhis own for, I think, maybe like
(34:40):
six months or so.
I love it and it's, it's great,it really really is great.
And so for those who are notfamiliar with with pottery or
hand building, rather, if youwant to connect two pieces, you
need to score and slip.
(35:01):
So basically, you score littlelittle lines into the clay and
then you dab, slip on, which isreally just like really watery
clay that acts like a glue.
So the pottery teacher, whoalso happens to be a friend of
mine, um, she'll always sayremember, you know, dab, dab,
dab, dab, you know.
(35:21):
So you're dabbing the slip intothose little whole, like into
those little cuts.
Um, so I went they were makingpenguins in the last class and
when I came in, my son told me Imade a dabbing penguin, as in
like, because the teacher, yeah,as in, oh as in the movement,
(35:44):
because that's like oh, my God.
Because she's always saying dabdab dab because she's always
saying dab dab, dab.
Caitlin Kindred (35:56):
So when it's done I have to see that is the
cutest and silliest little thingI love.
I love watching them get stufflike that.
Mine's kind of related.
My son gets memes now Like hegets them.
Yes, so when you're teachingmiddle school, it really starts
to happen in like seventh gradewhere all of a sudden these kids
start to get sarcasm.
And watching them play with itis really, really fun because
(36:19):
you know, as the teacher, you'llmake a sarcastic remark and
it's crickets.
But then, like all of a sudden,you know, like October, as as
as the kids usually right aroundthe turn 13.
Sudden, you know, like October,as as as the kids usually right
around the, they turn 13.
So as the kids start to turn 13throughout the year, all of a
sudden you'll get a snicker thatcomes out from your one
sarcastic.
It's the best feeling whenyou're like yeah, you get my
(36:41):
joke, so it feels so good.
So that's how this feels, withmy son getting me.
So one of the brands that I usedto work with is a system for
issuing passes from oneclassroom to another, and we
came up with the idea of havingmemes be a part of the marketing
(37:04):
strategy because educators lovethem.
There was a whole thing thatwent around a few years ago
where teachers were using themas a way to establish class
rules, because the kids wereglomming onto it and they
thought it was funny.
And at one point I think I hadmy own kids make some about how
we did rules, because it wasjust fun.
(37:25):
Well, I kept the one that I'mthe most proud of that I made
for this brand when I went to anevent that I worked at for them
and this is the meme.
Okay, it's Kevin Hart doing thelike head, like excuse me, look
.
And the meme says when mystudent says they got lost
(37:45):
coming back from the restroomand it's April, okay, like I'm
sorry, what?
So this was on my desk.
And my son comes in and he'slike this is a meme, this is a
meme.
And I was like, yeah, and hegoes, I understand this.
And I was like, do you?
And he was like, yeah, becausewho's getting lost in April.
(38:07):
And I was like, yes, that'swhat makes it funny, because of
course, they didn't get lost.
And he's like, yeah, that'sridiculous, but that's a funny
meme, mom, I like that.
And I was like, well, guess whowrote it and he was like who
and it's like I did.
And he goes oh, that's a funnymeme.
I'm proud of you for that one.
And I was like I get it.
(38:28):
I will say I have to say likeI'm going to toot my own horn
here, but my kids, or my memestrategy, worked fairly well and
those were a big hit at theevent we went to and they still
get used by this brand, but thatwas probably my favorite.
But it was it made me so happythat he was like I get this.
(38:49):
I understand it.
Do you know what a meme is?
Ariella Monti (38:51):
I know.
Caitlin Kindred (38:58):
I know what a meme is.
I know, I know what a meme is.
I'm like buddy, if you knew mylove language was memes, you
would.
You would probably freak outlike because that I I will go
like weeks at a time withoutlooking in my own personal
instagram, dms, and then I'llsend like 15 memes to you in a
row.
Ariella Monti (39:07):
So yeah, that's just yeah amazing.
There's a reason why in mylocal mom's group I do me monday
like I am the one who posts theme monday correct.
You gotta get it started, yeahyeah, just so, because I just I
wanted to make sure that I sawall of them.
Yeah, you have to, though Imean, granted, now I use
(39:29):
facebook a lot less, so I miss alot of them.
Caitlin Kindred (39:30):
But yeah.
I still, that's not my placeanymore.
I, by the way, if you haven'talready followed our show, we're
in all the places.
If you like Facebook, follow usthere.
If you don't like Facebook, Ispend most of my time on
Instagram.
You're welcome to follow usthere too.
I am also on threads.
Our show is on threads.
I am also on threads.
Our show is on threads.
(39:51):
It is not where we are all thetime, but we do show up there.
But Instagram is our favoriteplace.
So, just if you haven't alreadystarted following.
So this would be the time ofthe show when we say we're going
to go, so we're going to dothat.
Ariella Monti (40:07):
And you should go mindfully.
Caitlin Kindred (40:11):
Oh, I like that .
And yeah, make your goodchoices, be mindful and share
memes because they're fun.
Okay, bye, bye, bye.
Okay, as I promised, here isAriella guiding you through a
moment of mindfulness.
Her walkthrough should takeabout six or seven minutes to
(40:34):
complete.
Just a quick note please do notdo this during a moment that
requires your full attention.
Stay safe and stay aware beforeyou attempt this mindfulness
activity.
Please enjoy.
Please enjoy.
Ariella Monti (40:53):
Before we get started, I invite you to grab an
object.
It can be something small,something meaningful or
something completelyinconsequential.
When I do this exercise with myyoga students, I usually have
some rocks or leaves or stick,and once you've gotten that
(41:25):
object, I invite you to take itto your favorite quiet place in
the house Maybe your bed, yourporch, can be your closet, like
I'm sitting in right now, and Iinvite you to get comfortable.
(41:51):
You don't have to turn out thelights or light a candle, though
if that's what you want to do,you can but I invite you to get
comfortable, settle in, maybewiggle around, get any extra
(42:11):
energy out, and I invite you tohold that object in your hand
and if you're comfortableclosing your eyes, I invite you
to start there.
Run your fingers over theobject with your fingertips than
(43:09):
when you touch the object tothe palm of your hand or the
back of your hand.
Take a few moments to use yoursense of touch to explore this
(43:33):
object and any time your mindstarts to wander, just come back
to how the object feels in yourhands.
If you'd like, you can open upyour eyes and you can observe
(44:05):
the object with your sense ofsight.
Observe the colors, observe thetexture, observe how light
(44:30):
interacts with the object.
Does it shine, does it sparkle?
Sparkle or is it dull?
And, depending on what you dothis exercise with, you can
(44:59):
explore the object with yourother senses.
If you're drinking a cup ofcoffee, you can taste it and
smell it.
If you're at the beach, you canhear, you can smell and you can
(45:19):
see the ocean.
(45:56):
The point of this exercise is toallow that object, or even a
sound, to be the only thing thatyou're focused on for however
long you want to do thisexercise.
You can do it for five seconds,you can do it for five minutes,
you can do it before you go tobed, you can do it before you
wake up in the morning, or youcan do it in the middle of your
workday, when you look out thewindow and see a bird at a bird
feeder.
Take time to notice withoutjudgment and with curiosity,
(46:31):
like Bandit Healer when he wasborn yesterday.
Observe the world and theobjects in your hand like you've
never seen them before, andthey are the most fascinating
thing in the world.
And they are the mostfascinating thing in the world
(47:02):
and hopefully, with time, thispractice will get easier and
it's something that you'll dowithout even thinking about.
(47:28):
Thank you for letting me sharethis exercise with you.
I hope you find it helpful.
Hello.
Still don't know what day it is.
For you, it's a day.
It's a day, and we're so gladyou're here, regardless of what
day it is.
This is how to Be a Grown-Up.
This is the how-to show thatgives you advice on being a
grown-up and all of the downwardsocial comparison that you
might ever need in your life.
(00:22):
I'm Caitlin and I don't think Iintroduced myself in last
week's episode, but I'm Caitlin,I'm CK and with me today is I'm
not GK, you are not.
GK.
Instead you are Ariella Monti,my published author friend.
Oh my gosh, so exciting.
(00:42):
She is here with me again today, while Jenny is now recovering
from knee surgery.
Jen, we love you.
We're so glad you're on thepath to healing.
You're probably in really roughshape right now because you're
just a few days post-op, but weare thinking about you and I
mentioned this in last week'sepisode.
But if you want to supportJenny in her recovery, please
(01:03):
just reach out to me usingeither that contact us page on
our website or by sending a textthrough this link in our show
notes, and I'll get you a way tohelp her out.
Today we are continuing ourSpring Into Self-Care which I'm
still very proud of series witha discussion about mindfulness,
(01:26):
because Ariella is a certifiedyoga instructor and this is one
of her areas of expertise andit's a good self-care topic.
So I'm just going to put thisout there.
One of my goals for this yearis to spend more time practicing
meditation.
I was really good about it atthe end of last year I would say
(01:48):
like all of I'm going to bebusinessy here all of Q4, so,
like October through December, Iwas really good about it and I
think I did it almost every day,but then when I went on my like
holiday break or whatever, Ijust got out of the habit of it,
because ADHD will suck atmaking habits if it's not part
(02:10):
of a routine, and I just haven'tdone as well with it this year.
I did meditate most of the daysthis past week, but I still I'm
trying to get myself back intoit, so this timing is absolutely
perfect.
Ariella Monti (02:24):
I'm really excited for us to talk about
this today, so hopefully, theexercise that I'm going to teach
y'all today will help makehaving a mindfulness practice
and a meditation practice easier, because it is a really, really
simple way to bring it intoyour life and like just find
(02:50):
little spots of it throughoutthe day and eventually, when you
do it over and over again, itbecomes so ingrained that it
just sort of happens.
Caitlin Kindred (03:01):
I'm very excited.
I love, I love a good exercise.
I love a good practicalapplication of what we're
learning right now.
So'm very excited, I love, Ilove a good exercise.
I love a good practicalapplication of what we're
learning right now.
So this is awesome Okay.
Ariella Monti (03:10):
So I have been a yoga teacher since 2019, but I
will say that my background inmindfulness is really not that
extensive.
So there are other teachers,other yoga teachers out there
who really really specialize ina mindfulness practice and how
(03:31):
it relates to yoga, and they aremuch better sources for that
information.
My main experience, on top ofteaching yoga is also I've been
in therapy for a very long time,as we all could be, and much of
what I've learned aboutmindfulness has come from my my
(03:55):
own therapist, who has extensiveclinical training in these
modalities, and she also happensto be a yoga teacher.
So that's perfect for you.
Yeah, it just it just kind ofhappened that way, which is
phenomenal.
Caitlin Kindred (04:11):
So this exercise that you're going to
teach us today will help thoseof us who are not necessarily
accustomed to having thesemoments of mindfulness in our
day.
Ariella Monti (04:22):
Absolutely, yes, absolutely.
So, to start off, with, what ismindfulness?
So it's becoming kind of a likea buzzword at this point.
You know, be mindful of this.
Like it feels, it almost feelsa little trendy and a little bit
disingenuous at this point, butthere is a lot of clinical
information out there aboutmindfulness and how it impacts
(04:43):
our stress levels and our body.
Caitlin Kindred (04:45):
I appreciate that you said that the word is
trendy, because I also thinkthat I might be using it in the
wrong context, like I'll say tomy child like you need to be
mindful of what you're doing,but I don't think that's what
we're getting at here and Ithink I need to use a different
word when I'm talking to himabout this, because mindfulness
is not about necessarilyself-awareness in the context
(05:07):
that I'm using it.
Yes, so can you just define theword for me so that I stop
using it?
Ariella Monti (05:14):
So the definition that I'm going to be using
comes from a couple of articlesfrom Yoga International and
included those links, so they'llbe in the show notes.
But by definition, mindfulnessrefers to the informal practice
of present moment awareness.
Okay, so it is being fullypresent in whatever activity you
(05:38):
are doing and by being presentit is experiencing that moment
like with all of your senses.
So it's different than likewhen we tell our kids to be
mindful, like that is just kindof like baseline awareness of,
like their surroundings.
But with mindfulness you arereally honing in on one focal
(06:07):
point and one thing.
Oh yeah, I've definitely beenusing that I mean, it's one of
those like the thing we knowabout words is that words have
multiple definitions, right, andbut when we're talking about
mindfulness as a form ofself-care, like, we're using it
in the sense that we want to becompletely present and
(06:28):
completely aware of, like theone thing that we're doing, okay
thing, it helps us tune outeverything else that's going on,
so that we can tune in to whatour body is telling us, what our
(06:52):
mind is telling us.
It helps.
It also helps us tune into oursurroundings.
Caitlin Kindred (06:58):
This is interesting.
I feel like this could bereally good for someone who
experiences panic attacks orthose states of overwhelm.
This could be really helpfulfor people like that.
Ariella Monti (07:11):
It's very similar to that panic attack, that
activity, that when people arehaving a panic attack where they
focus on like something you cansee, something, you can hear,
something, you can smell.
It's very.
That would be an example of amindfulness practice.
This exercise is kind of thebefore that you know it's the,
(07:38):
it's not the prevention of.
Caitlin Kindred (07:40):
It's the non-rescue.
It's the non-rescue.
Ariella Monti (07:41):
Yeah, exactly, it's the same sort of skill, but
it's not necessarily whatyou're going to be doing when
you are having a panic attack.
You know what I'm saying.
Caitlin Kindred (07:51):
Yeah, I do, and I think that that relates to
what we talked about last weekwith self-care.
Self-care is not about it's notthe fire extinguisher when the
house is on fire.
Self-care is the fireextinguisher when you have like
a tiny little like you knowkitchen fire, Right, Like when
(08:12):
it's something when and when thepan on the stove, like that's.
So that seems to be more ofwhat this is, Whereas the panic
attack moment you need theentire, you know fire truck.
Ariella Monti (08:17):
This is like daily maintenance mindfulness.
Caitlin Kindred (08:22):
Yes, this is the car tweezers.
Exactly, this is your cartweezers and not the full on wax
session Right, got it Okay,understood.
Ariella Monti (08:32):
And this is an activity that I do with my yoga
students, who tend to be older,they tend to be seniors, they
tend to be retired, chronicallyill, injured.
They are phenomenal andwonderful and I absolutely adore
them and I've been doing thispractice with them at least once
(08:54):
a session and our sessions aresix weeks, so at least once a
session I will do this exercisewith them and they really,
really enjoy it and they bringit into their everyday lives and
have found it really helpful.
Caitlin Kindred (09:07):
I love that.
That's great that you're doingthat.
Okay, well, I'm ready Tell mehow this works.
Ariella Monti (09:13):
Okay so what you're going to do is you're
going to grab an object of anykind.
So when I do this in my class,I usually bring a little bag of
my crystals.
I also.
In that little bag is also acouple of tiny sticks, a few
(09:34):
feathers, just an object withsome kind of like texture or
color or whatever.
Okay, and this object is goingto be your focal point.
This is what you're going toput all of your attention onto.
For the next like, however longyou do this exercise.
(09:57):
So when I do it in class, it'susually like 10, 5 to 10 minutes
, 10, 5 to 10 minutes.
When I do it at home, it's like30 seconds.
Okay, this is very much what Ithink of and our bluey fans are
going to find this familiar.
But the episode of bluey calledborn yesterday, where bandit is
(10:22):
born yeah, bandit was born, hewas just born yesterday.
So he's discovering the worldand all the way.
At the end, chili asks where'syour father?
And he's sitting outside withthis leaf in his hand and he's
just staring at it.
That's what we're doing.
Caitlin Kindred (10:38):
And that's such a sweet little moment too, like
you can really feel himappreciating what's happening.
I just got goosebumps.
Guys, I'm a bluey fan.
Bluey gave me goosebumps.
It gives me it regularly doeswhen I watch it.
It's so sweet, but like thatlittle moment just is so, so
sweet.
Okay, I, I, I am seeing it inmy brain.
(10:59):
I understand what you're tryingto get me to do so.
Ariella Monti (11:01):
So that is, that's our goal.
So you're going to take yourobject and you're going to go
take that object someplace whereyou feel comfortable.
It can be your bed, it can beoutside, it can be your favorite
couch, whatever.
Go someplace comfortable.
Okay, you've got this object inyour hands and if you're
(11:22):
comfortable with closing youreyes, you can close your eyes
and just start to observe theobject.
You're observing, you're notjudging, so you're observing the
(11:51):
texture, you're observing thefeel of your fingertips on it.
You can observe the feel ofyour palm on it.
You can observe the feel ofyour palm on it.
And these observations comewith, like I said, no judgment.
(12:15):
They're simply observations.
There's no good, there's no bad, it just is.
And then from touch you canmove on to the, your other
senses.
So you can open your eyes andyou can look at it and,
depending on what you have inyour hands, you can observe the
(12:35):
colors, you can observe the waylight refracts off of it, you
can observe the bumps and thegrooves and, depending on what
you have, you can observe itwith taste, you can observe it
with smell.
I always tell my students notto observe my stuff with taste,
(12:58):
but if you're doing this withyour favorite cup of coffee.
You can observe it with taste,you can observe it with smell,
and once you've really examinedthis object, you can be curious
about it.
Where did it come from beforeit entered my home?
(13:24):
And as you're going through thisexercise for as long as you'd
like five minutes, 50 seconds,five seconds during that time,
your attention and your mind isfocused on the activity or the
(13:47):
objects and not everything elsegoing on, and all of your senses
are honing on to the leaf inyour hands.
(14:07):
And it is not.
It is now taking a break.
It's a respite from all theother stuff that it is worrying
about, and that is going to calmyour mind.
It's going to calm your body,it's going to get you back to a
baseline.
It's not going to put out thefire, but it's going to get you
(14:31):
to a baseline that will allowyou to kind of be more present
and aware with everything else.
Caitlin Kindred (14:43):
Okay, the interesting piece to me was the
no judgment piece.
Right, you're not saying?
I don't like how this feels.
You're just saying this feelsyeah, that's a really
interesting part, because to meI never know what I'm supposed
to say to myself in my head inthose moments, but I caught
myself saying like, oh, I like.
And then you were like, butwithout judgment, I went
(15:05):
nevermind.
Ariella Monti (15:05):
You know what I mean.
Caitlin Kindred (15:06):
It was it was like a just kidding sort of
moment, but it was good for mebecause I could just say, like
this part feels bumpy, this partfeels smooth, this part feels
squishy, this part you know whatI mean.
Ariella Monti (15:20):
It was interesting.
Take it a step further.
When you find yourself saying,like I like the feel of this.
The next step would be like youknow the why.
Like this feels soft, which iswhy I like it.
Like this feels bumpy, which iswhy I don't like it, and so
(15:42):
you're just kind of taking thatnext step.
You know, even the liking orthe not liking is not
necessarily judgment, but likethat part is, but the
observation isn't.
So it's allowing you to kind ofhone in on why you're feeling
the way you do, which issomething like that.
(16:05):
You know, us ADHDers have areally hard time with that's.
A marker of ADHD is not beingable to describe our feelings,
our emotions.
Like I don't know why a thingbothers me, it just feels icky
in my body.
But I can hone in on theickiness that I'm feeling.
Caitlin Kindred (16:26):
Yeah, I'm also thinking about the importance of
the separation between I don'tlike how this feels and this is
scratchy, which is why I don'tlike how this feels.
There is a difference betweenthose two statements and when
you're talking about especiallyfeelings, I think that there's
(16:48):
something to be said for I feelangry versus that makes me angry
, like those are two differentthings, because one of them is
you placing judgment on yourselfand then becoming that thing,
you become angry when the otherone is on yourself and then
becoming that thing, you becomeangry when the other one is, I
(17:13):
feel angry.
I am not angry, I feel angry,and those are.
I think that's a very importantdistinction to make when it
comes to recovering from fightor flight or recovering from a
stressful situation, is beingable to separate you from the
emotion, even just in that tinyway.
So I think if that, if thepractice that we did where you
(17:33):
have an object in front of you,starts to help you make that
distinction between the emotionconsuming you, you being the
emotion, versus an object makingyou feel an emotion, that's a
big connection to be able to getto at some point.
So it seems to me that this isan anchor, an object of focus to
(17:59):
help me make the distinctionbetween what I am feeling and
what is actually happening.
Ariella Monti (18:07):
I use that same sort of idea when I teach
balance in my yoga classes.
So I will have my studentsstand with just their feet on
the ground and just have themfocus on their feet.
So the sense, and not not justlike the actual foot, but the
sensations of their footinteracting with the surface
(18:32):
underneath them, like so forsome people it's the mat, some
people have like a blanket orsocks on.
So I will ask them to justobserve the way the bottoms of
their feet are interacting withthat surface and then I'll have
them go a little bit deeper.
Where I'll have them?
I never have them do anything.
(18:53):
I always invite them to.
I always invite them to invitethem to focus on the way their
feet adjust, adjust to the, toany little movements of their
body.
So you know, if you close youreyes, your body will start to
sway because it needs.
You know something to kind ofright.
So your body will start to swayand if you take your attention
(19:18):
and you bring it to your feet,you can start to notice the
minor and little adjustmentsyour feet make when your body is
swaying.
So the way your feet areworking to keep your body
(19:43):
upright Okay, and that you cando like you're standing in line
at the grocery store orsomething.
Caitlin Kindred (19:47):
That's a good point, because I need something
physical to anchor my brain to,because I can't, I have a really
difficult time with abstractconcepts, so this practice of
holding something in your handor focusing on your feet is a
really helpful one for me.
Ariella Monti (20:08):
Yeah, and what I like about using a physical
object and teaching this withphysical object, because I could
do the same type of practicewith, like a meditation or
something, and I do sometimes doguided meditation, but there
are lots of people who can'tpicture.
You know, I might say, like,picture a stream, like, but they
(20:29):
are unable to.
That's so hard for me.
Yeah, whereas I sure I willpicture, I will give you details
and all of that kind of stuff,but if you have, you know the
object and you can physicallylook at it, because that's the
other thing too.
Like we all, capitalism ingeneral and wellness, like
(20:53):
capital W wellness has kind oftaught us that we need to do
this in a certain way and thatway needs to be sitting
cross-legged on the floor in adark room with our eyes closed,
and a lot of this practice islike visual and tactile
observation.
Caitlin Kindred (21:10):
Well, it's so much more accessible when you
make it concrete.
Think about these abstractconcepts of things that we try
to teach kids Like.
Right now I have in my headthis concept of teaching algebra
, which is something that I didfor my students.
It is very difficult to say toa student, like there's a
missing number in the world.
We don't know what that numberis, but we're going to call it X
(21:32):
, right, like that's really hard.
But there's a program that I'mnot going to say the name of,
where you have a scale and thenyou have a four and like a pawn
piece, and then you have themiddle of the scale is an equal
sign.
And then on the other side youhave an eight.
And it's easy to say to a kidthere's a four and a missing
(21:53):
number that we don't know, butwe do know that when we put them
together it equals eight.
And that concreteness of that,all of a sudden it makes sense.
So when someone says to me I'mgoing to pick on Headspace a
little bit here visualizeyourself and this golden liquid
is consuming you from the feetup and that is melting your
(22:17):
stress.
I'm not kidding, that's what hesays.
That for me is incrediblydifficult.
I never picture myself likethat.
The closest I've gotten is, youknow, those like those hot
springs in Japan with themonkeys who sit in the snow.
You know what I'm talking about.
But they sit in there in thesnow and they sit in that hot
(22:37):
spring thing.
That's the closest that mybrain gets to it, where I'm like
, all right, I'm going to sit inthe snow, and you know what I'm
talking about, but they sit in,they're in the snow and they
sit in that hot spring thing.
That's the closest that mybrain gets to it, where I'm like
all right, I'm gonna sit in themonkey, the monkey sulfur, the
monkey hot tub.
That's like where my brain goes.
That one sounds amazing,doesn't it right?
I'm gonna sit in the right, Iwant to sit in the monkey hot
tub.
Why not so?
but that's as close as I get toit, because I'm like okay, I, my
(22:57):
body, my feet are in the monkeyhot tub and I always call it,
the monkey hot tub too, eventhough I know that's not what it
is, and and then, like, as I goin, my body starts to warm up
and I feel relaxed.
Or the other one that I've doneis like the floating in the
dead sea thing, where it's likethis, that super salty water and
everyone just like gets in andfloats right and it probably
feels amazing, which, by the way, is another like sensory thing
(23:19):
that I really want to try islike a float tank.
That sounds amazing, um, butthat's the closest I can get to
it, because it's not the idea ofa golden liquid starting at my
toes and coming up to my head.
It just sounds like pee and Ican't handle it.
Like, I'm just not into it.
Yeah, you're welcome, but italso is so abstract that I can't
(23:43):
access that thinking.
I need something that's goingto be much more concrete and
tactile, and so the idea ofhaving an object in my hands
makes a lot more sense, and Ialso appreciate the
accessibility of.
You're right, you don't have tobe sitting in a dark room with
your legs crossed.
(24:04):
You can do this while you'restaring out the window doing
dishes.
So that brings me to my nextpoint, which is finding time for
mindfulness practices like theone that you just described.
I don't necessarily always feellike I have the time to stop,
(24:26):
or my brain is not allowing meto stop, but are there ways that
I can do this, like while I'mdoing chores?
Is there a way to do that?
Ariella Monti (24:35):
Yeah, absolutely so, with chores, and this is
something that you'll see in alot of mindfulness books and
stuff.
One that is a good one is theMiracle of Mindfulness.
I put the link here the Miracleof Mindfulness by Thich Nhat
Hanh.
He's a very famous Buddhistmonk Very famous, yeah.
So if you're doing a chore, sayyou're Washing dishes.
(24:59):
Yeah, washing dishes is thegood one.
So say you're washing dishes.
Okay, just focus on youractions while washing dishes.
So focus on the feel of thewater on your hands, focus on
the sound of the water runningfrom the faucet.
(25:19):
Focus on the sound of thedishes being placed in the
dishwasher.
Caitlin Kindred (25:27):
I like this.
I'm thinking about how thisapplies to self-care.
Again, you mentioned that it'sthe fire extinguisher in the
tiny fire, it's not the entirefirehouse, right.
But I'm thinking about thingsthat that I forget to do during
the day.
Like, sometimes I, even thoughI take medication that makes me
(25:48):
very thirsty, I forget that Ineed to drink water and I will
just sit there and not be andjust not think about it, and
then all of a sudden I'll have amoment where I'm like oh, I'm
hungry, oh I have to go to thebathroom, oh, my gosh, I have to
have water.
Like I feel like this.
Taking a few moments to do thatcould really help me kind of
(26:09):
remember what I actuallyphysically need in that moment,
because I think sometimes thosephysical needs are things I
forget to address during the dayyeah, yeah, that is.
Ariella Monti (26:20):
I think that's a big part of it is that you, you
start to become more aware moreaware and more present, of kind
of like, what your body isfeeling and doing at any you
know, at any given time itstarts to take your body and
your nervous system out ofconstant fight or flight, or at
(26:44):
least it takes that baseline.
Because, like I don't think wecould ever and this is what I
tell my students all the timewhen we talk about meditation
and the idea of, like, clearingyour mind and like all that
stuff I like I tell them likethat doesn't exist for me, it
doesn't exist in our society,it's not gonna happen.
But you can practice focusingon the one thing, and there is
(27:06):
science that that does start tobring down our baseline fight or
flight, parasympathetic nervoussystem, it it like if you're
existing at an eight, it's notgoing to take you to a zero, but
maybe with time it takes you toa six, you know, and if your
(27:27):
baseline comes down to, you know, like a six from an eight,
that's a big improvement.
Caitlin Kindred (27:33):
That's a big improvement, yeah, okay, so
you've given us a miniwalkthrough of how this works.
You've given us a reason why weneed to have something physical
to focus on as an anchor,whether it's something in our
hand or focusing on our feet,especially for those of us who
are new to this practice.
(27:55):
I know for you, being a verynature-minded person, this
probably is going to lookdifferent than it would for me,
so maybe walk us through what itmight look like for you.
Ariella Monti (28:11):
When I personally will do this practice.
Most of the time I don't evenrealize I'm doing it, but I'm
sitting here at my desk and Ihave a bird feeder like one of
those window bird feeders likestuck right to my window, yeah.
And I will look away from myscreen and I will just watch
this chickadee look for theperfect sunflower.
(28:33):
Little seed, yeah, yeah, ohsweet and then fly off that.
That could be five seconds.
Caitlin Kindred (28:43):
you do those moments like over and over and
over during the day and itstarts to add up yeah, yeah, I
could see that that seems like areally accessible way to
incorporate this into youreveryday as part of self-care.
I like that.
Ariella Monti (29:04):
Yeah, yeah.
And when I write up the blogpost for this, I'm going to put
that picture of bandit healerlooking at a leaf and, like,
just channel your inner bandithealer looking at a leaf and
just spend 30 seconds staring atit.
And again, as we've been saying,it's not going to put out the
fire, it's the, I would say, ifwe're going to keep using the
(29:28):
fire metaphor, it's the safetyprecautions that you do to
prevent a fire, and sometimesfires still happen and so you
have like the next steps, butthis is like the don't keep
cooking oil right next to yourburner.
Caitlin Kindred (29:48):
Right.
Ariella Monti (29:49):
Yeah, this is like don't play with matches,
right.
Caitlin Kindred (29:55):
Okay, so all of this information is really
helpful.
I think it'd be reallyeffective if people have an
opportunity to try kind of whatyou're talking about here.
So what we're going to do isAriella is going to guide you
through a meditation at the endof this episode.
So if you'd like to stickaround and practice this, as she
(30:15):
would with her students, stickaround to the end of the episode
and she will walk you throughone of these guided mindfulness
sessions and you can determinesort of how well it works for
you, see how you feel, and thenthere'll be some other resources
that you can try in our shownotes for additional guided
meditation.
And if you live in the areawhere Ariella teaches yoga, you
(30:39):
can go join her class and try itthere too.
Okay, we will be right back Forlinks to resources mentioned in
this episode.
Head on over tockandgkpodcastcom slash blog to
find everything you need, and besure to follow us on social
media.
Head over to your favoritesocial media network and find us
(31:01):
at CK and GK podcast.
And now back to the show.
Now we're back and we haveobsessions and gems to discuss,
so I'd like to hear what yourobsession is, please, and thank
you.
Ariella Monti (31:18):
My obsession is adding a little bit of whimsy to
my life.
Nice, and I am doing that bymaking these tell me what that
is.
Caitlin Kindred (31:29):
It is.
I don't know what it is, but Ilove it.
Ariella Monti (31:39):
Okay, so I take pottery.
I'm not super good at pottery,but I take pottery and I have
this little dish.
The mold itself, if you're oldenough to know, is probably an
ashtray mold.
Okay, yeah, I gotcha.
It is, you know like rightright, right, okay, and then I
had a little extra clay, so Imade this little mushroom
adorable right, and then I wentoutside the other day and I
(32:01):
pulled up.
I have a lot of moss growing inmy backyard and in my front yard
, so it's not like I took theonly moss that was in my
backyard.
There is plenty.
Caitlin Kindred (32:11):
Oh my gosh, so much judgment, I care, so much
there is someone out there.
Ariella Monti (32:19):
I know, though, there's someone, yeah, but
they're probably aren'tlistening to this show, so don't
worry about it.
No, that's fair.
That's fair, okay.
Caitlin Kindred (32:35):
So I went and I grabbed, you know, some moss
and I put it in this little dishand I added this little
mushroom and now I have thislittle moss garden.
It's like a little tiny Zengarden that you don't have to do
anything.
Will the moss keep growing?
Or is it just like done?
No, no, no, you just spray itwith water and it'll just keep
going.
Ariella Monti (32:48):
Yeah, I haven't tried doing this inside yet, but
I think the trick is just goingto be finding, like, the right
spot in the house for it,because, like moss is one of
those tricky things that likesshade and water, but most of the
moss I have in my backyard isin direct sunlight for 12 hours.
Caitlin Kindred (33:12):
Oh, that's weird.
Okay, who knows?
But yeah, that's really cute, Ilove it.
It's so cute.
I'm obsessed with the whimsyhere, so you're going to need to
take a picture of that andwe'll put it in the blog post
for the episode, because it'sreally cute.
I think it's a very goodrepresentation of this episode,
actually, like you could justfocus on that and you could
touch it.
Yeah, I think it's a very goodrepresentation of this episode,
(33:33):
actually, like you could justfocus on that and you could
touch it.
Yeah, I think it's great, veryadorable.
Yeah, well, I'm going to copyyou from last week.
The weather in Austin right nowis absolutely glorious.
I sat outside and read a bookwhich was very this feels very
indulgent, but I did this fortwo hours yesterday.
I just sat outside, was verythis feels very indulgent, but I
(33:54):
did this for two hoursyesterday.
I just sat outside and I thinkI got a teeny, tiny little
sunburn because I use retinoland my face is in the sun, but
only half of it.
So that's fun, uh, but it wasstill like this weather is
amazing.
I can sit out here all day longin this.
It's not polliny yet outside,like we mentioned last week, but
yeah, oh, it's so beautiful.
So that's my obsession.
(34:14):
This week is just good weather.
But what about gems?
Do you have any of those?
Um?
Ariella Monti (34:20):
this was pretty cute.
It's also happens to be potteryrelated.
So the pottery I started doingit because my son has been doing
it for a few years now he'seight and a half, as you know,
and he's been taking classes onhis own for, I think, maybe like
(34:40):
six months or so.
I love it and it's, it's great,it really really is great.
And so for those who are notfamiliar with with pottery or
hand building, rather, if youwant to connect two pieces, you
need to score and slip.
(35:01):
So basically, you score littlelittle lines into the clay and
then you dab, slip on, which isreally just like really watery
clay that acts like a glue.
So the pottery teacher, whoalso happens to be a friend of
mine, um, she'll always sayremember, you know, dab, dab,
dab, dab, you know.
(35:21):
So you're dabbing the slip intothose little whole, like into
those little cuts.
Um, so I went they were makingpenguins in the last class and
when I came in, my son told me Imade a dabbing penguin, as in
like, because the teacher, yeah,as in, oh as in the movement,
(35:44):
because that's like oh, my God.
Because she's always saying dabdab dab because she's always
saying dab dab, dab.
Caitlin Kindred (35:56):
So when it's done I have to see that is the
cutest and silliest little thingI love.
I love watching them get stufflike that.
Mine's kind of related.
My son gets memes now Like hegets them.
Yes, so when you're teachingmiddle school, it really starts
to happen in like seventh gradewhere all of a sudden these kids
start to get sarcasm.
And watching them play with itis really, really fun because
(36:19):
you know, as the teacher, you'llmake a sarcastic remark and
it's crickets.
But then, like all of a sudden,you know, like October, as as
as the kids usually right aroundthe turn 13.
Sudden, you know, like October,as as as the kids usually right
around the, they turn 13.
So as the kids start to turn 13throughout the year, all of a
sudden you'll get a snicker thatcomes out from your one
sarcastic.
It's the best feeling whenyou're like yeah, you get my
(36:41):
joke, so it feels so good.
So that's how this feels, withmy son getting me.
So one of the brands that I usedto work with is a system for
issuing passes from oneclassroom to another, and we
came up with the idea of havingmemes be a part of the marketing
(37:04):
strategy because educators lovethem.
There was a whole thing thatwent around a few years ago
where teachers were using themas a way to establish class
rules, because the kids wereglomming onto it and they
thought it was funny.
And at one point I think I hadmy own kids make some about how
we did rules, because it wasjust fun.
(37:25):
Well, I kept the one that I'mthe most proud of that I made
for this brand when I went to anevent that I worked at for them
and this is the meme.
Okay, it's Kevin Hart doing thelike head, like excuse me, look
.
And the meme says when mystudent says they got lost
(37:45):
coming back from the restroomand it's April, okay, like I'm
sorry, what?
So this was on my desk.
And my son comes in and he'slike this is a meme, this is a
meme.
And I was like, yeah, and hegoes, I understand this.
And I was like, do you?
And he was like, yeah, becausewho's getting lost in April.
(38:07):
And I was like, yes, that'swhat makes it funny, because of
course, they didn't get lost.
And he's like, yeah, that'sridiculous, but that's a funny
meme, mom, I like that.
And I was like, well, guess whowrote it and he was like who
and it's like I did.
And he goes oh, that's a funnymeme.
I'm proud of you for that one.
And I was like I get it.
(38:28):
I will say I have to say likeI'm going to toot my own horn
here, but my kids, or my memestrategy, worked fairly well and
those were a big hit at theevent we went to and they still
get used by this brand, but thatwas probably my favorite.
But it was it made me so happythat he was like I get this.
(38:49):
I understand it.
Do you know what a meme is?
Ariella Monti (38:51):
I know.
Caitlin Kindred (38:58):
I know what a meme is.
I know, I know what a meme is.
I'm like buddy, if you knew mylove language was memes, you
would.
You would probably freak outlike because that I I will go
like weeks at a time withoutlooking in my own personal
instagram, dms, and then I'llsend like 15 memes to you in a
row.
Ariella Monti (39:07):
So yeah, that's just yeah amazing.
There's a reason why in mylocal mom's group I do me monday
like I am the one who posts theme monday correct.
You gotta get it started, yeahyeah, just so, because I just I
wanted to make sure that I sawall of them.
Yeah, you have to, though Imean, granted, now I use
(39:29):
facebook a lot less, so I miss alot of them.
Caitlin Kindred (39:30):
But yeah.
I still, that's not my placeanymore.
I, by the way, if you haven'talready followed our show, we're
in all the places.
If you like Facebook, follow usthere.
If you don't like Facebook, Ispend most of my time on
Instagram.
You're welcome to follow usthere too.
I am also on threads.
Our show is on threads.
I am also on threads.
Our show is on threads.
(39:51):
It is not where we are all thetime, but we do show up there.
But Instagram is our favoriteplace.
So, just if you haven't alreadystarted following.
So this would be the time ofthe show when we say we're going
to go, so we're going to dothat.
Ariella Monti (40:07):
And you should go mindfully.
Caitlin Kindred (40:11):
Oh, I like that .
And yeah, make your goodchoices, be mindful and share
memes because they're fun.
Okay, bye, bye, bye.
Okay, as I promised, here isAriella guiding you through a
moment of mindfulness.
Her walkthrough should takeabout six or seven minutes to
(40:34):
complete.
Just a quick note please do notdo this during a moment that
requires your full attention.
Stay safe and stay aware beforeyou attempt this mindfulness
activity.
Please enjoy.
Please enjoy.
Ariella Monti (40:53):
Before we get started, I invite you to grab an
object.
It can be something small,something meaningful or
something completelyinconsequential.
When I do this exercise with myyoga students, I usually have
some rocks or leaves or stick,and once you've gotten that
(41:25):
object, I invite you to take itto your favorite quiet place in
the house Maybe your bed, yourporch, can be your closet, like
I'm sitting in right now, and Iinvite you to get comfortable.
(41:51):
You don't have to turn out thelights or light a candle, though
if that's what you want to do,you can but I invite you to get
comfortable, settle in, maybewiggle around, get any extra
(42:11):
energy out, and I invite you tohold that object in your hand
and if you're comfortableclosing your eyes, I invite you
to start there.
Run your fingers over theobject with your fingertips than
(43:09):
when you touch the object tothe palm of your hand or the
back of your hand.
Take a few moments to use yoursense of touch to explore this
(43:33):
object and any time your mindstarts to wander, just come back
to how the object feels in yourhands.
If you'd like, you can open upyour eyes and you can observe
(44:05):
the object with your sense ofsight.
Observe the colors, observe thetexture, observe how light
(44:30):
interacts with the object.
Does it shine, does it sparkle?
Sparkle or is it dull?
And, depending on what you dothis exercise with, you can
(44:59):
explore the object with yourother senses.
If you're drinking a cup ofcoffee, you can taste it and
smell it.
If you're at the beach, you canhear, you can smell and you can
(45:19):
see the ocean.
(45:56):
The point of this exercise is toallow that object, or even a
sound, to be the only thing thatyou're focused on for however
long you want to do thisexercise.
You can do it for five seconds,you can do it for five minutes,
you can do it before you go tobed, you can do it before you
wake up in the morning, or youcan do it in the middle of your
workday, when you look out thewindow and see a bird at a bird
feeder.
Take time to notice withoutjudgment and with curiosity,
(46:31):
like Bandit Healer when he wasborn yesterday.
Observe the world and theobjects in your hand like you've
never seen them before, andthey are the most fascinating
thing in the world.
And they are the mostfascinating thing in the world
(47:02):
and hopefully, with time, thispractice will get easier and
it's something that you'll dowithout even thinking about.
(47:28):
Thank you for letting me sharethis exercise with you.
I hope you find it helpful.
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