April 1, 2025 • 44 mins
Remember when reading meant getting lost in a book instead of lost in a pile of laundry? This episode is for every mom who misses the joy of reading but can’t figure out how to squeeze it between snack requests and sock emergencies. Spoiler: Audiobooks count, and yes, fanfic totally counts too.
—
Who Should Listen
- Moms who used to devour books but now only have time to devour cold coffee and leftover chicken nuggets.
- Anyone who’s ever cried over a library fine (or a toddler’s board book "edits").
- Parents who need an escape but can’t decide between a thriller or a nap.
—
What You Get In This Episode
- Audiobooks Are Legit (No, Really) – Ditch the guilt! Listening to books while folding laundry totally counts as "me time."
- E-Readers to the Rescue – Adjust fonts, backgrounds, and even read in the dark (because bedtime is the only quiet time).
- Short & Sweet Wins – Novellas and short stories for when your attention span matches your toddler’s.
- Fanfic for the Win – Revisit familiar characters without committing to a 500-page novel.
- Book Clubs & Body Doubling – Because sometimes you need peer pressure to finish a chapter.
—
Bios
Caitlin & Jenny are best friends, educators, and moms who still Google "how to remove glitter from carpets." They’re here to help you adult—without losing your sanity or your sense of humor.
Ariella Monti is the author of Roots In Ink, a yoga instructor, and the biggest fan of Steve Rogers we know.
—
Your Next Steps
- Tag us @CKandGKPodcast with your #GrownupReadingHacks (or your kid’s reaction to the birds-and-bees chicken edition).
- Subscribe so you never miss an episode.
The best support is a rating and a share.
Love,
CK & GK
View our website at ckandgkpodcast.com. Find us on social media @ckandgkpodcast on
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Thanks, y'all!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Caitlin K (00:00):
Uh, hello and welcome to you.
Know that episode of uh Parksand Rec where it's the painting
episode and she's like, andwelcome to the painting Like.
That's where I was just giving.
Uh, hi, everyone, we're so gladyou're here.
Welcome to the podcast.
Uh, this is how to be a grownup.
This is the how to show thatgives you advice on being a
(00:22):
grown-up, with hosts who arealways here for a little
downward social comparison andI'm Caitlin.
With me today, covering forJenny as she recovers from her
knee surgery is Arielle Amante,my author, friend of Roots in
Ink, and she's a sparklingfountain of wisdom and glitter.
Oh thank you.
(00:44):
Yeah, you're so welcome because, glittering this, and also
because we record virtually andnot in person, that glitter
stays far away from my house,which is excellent, right.
Ariella Monti (00:54):
It's probably the leftover glitter from when some
got dumped on me in 10th grade.
Caitlin K (00:59):
It never goes away, never goes away.
What's the line from KarenWalker?
I inhaled so much glitter, myboogers look like disco balls,
so good.
Okay, we are continuing ourSpring Into Self-Care series
this week with reading forself-care, and I think we sort
of touched on this a little bitwith hobbies, but I'm going to
(01:23):
trust my author friend here tohelp us do a deep dive into how
reading is catharsis and goodfor your self-care.
Ariella Monti (01:32):
Yes, you know I love a deep dive.
It's the reporter in me.
I love to unpack stuff.
Caitlin K (01:40):
There's a few words that are coming out in a lot of
like marketing lingo words, andunlock and unpack are two words
that I'm seeing all the time.
I refuse to use unlock in mytitles because I'm like, if I
see that word anymore, butunpack I'm fine with.
So let's unpack it, let's do it, yeah.
Ariella Monti (01:58):
We're going to unpack it.
Let's unpack this so, as mybrain completely goes blank.
Caitlin K (02:04):
Well, okay, so then let me, let me do this.
I will give you a little bit ofbackstory of why I'm so excited
about this.
Um, because I'm trying not totalk badly about myself, so I'm
going to say this in a, in a, ina way, that's is a spin, it's
my teacher's spin.
I have reading challenges inthat I can read like I'm
(02:29):
literate.
I often, though, read so fastthat I miss things and have to
go back and reread, or don'tknow that I miss things and
don't understand what I've read.
The other thing that I have anissue with is if I read, if I
don't read too fast, I'm readingtoo slowly, and I'm taking
notes on everything, and itfeels tedious, so it stops being
fun, um, and so, for thatreason, I don't read as often as
(02:54):
I should, and I'd really reallylike to get back into it
because it feels good.
It's just one of those thingsthat I want to get back to, and
I I saw this and thought, okay,I'm really making a concentrated
effort to put self-care first,and this is something.
This is a topic I want to talkabout, so let's start there.
Ariella Monti (03:18):
How do I get back into this?
From seeing that in some of mysmaller moms groups where people
were voracious readers at onepoint in their life and then
life happens and they get out ofreading and they want to get
back into it.
So this is geared toward thosetypes of readers.
(03:41):
It's for people who you knowused to be big readers, maybe
when they were kids, when theywere teens, in their 20s, and
then for one reason or another,got out of it and kind of want
to get back into it.
Sure.
Caitlin K (03:55):
Yeah, that makes sense.
Ariella Monti (03:57):
So some of these are just kind of ideas that I
kind of pulled from the ether,have either, you know, worked
for me or have worked for otherparents that I've spoken to.
Many of these tips were alsocrowdsourced by a statistically
insignificant number of people.
Caitlin K (04:18):
I love a good crowdsourcing, Like that's
really all.
Reddit is right.
I love that.
That's great.
Ariella Monti (04:24):
Yeah, most of these came from one particular
group of moms who are about ourage.
They have kids kind of mostly,for the most part kind of under,
you know, 15 and under.
So they are our peers in thisand there were a couple of
different things that kind ofcame up over and over and over
(04:46):
again.
Caitlin K (04:46):
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (04:47):
So the first one and it was sort of the biggest
one that came up was audiobooks.
Instead of using a physical,you know, paperback, or even an
e-reader, going straight toaudiobooks, sitting and reading,
might not be realistic rightnow, but audiobooks let you
(05:10):
multitask, which is when a lotof these parents said that they
were reading was when they weredoing something else, when they
were doing laundry or cleaningor commuting.
Just the ability to kind of poptheir earbuds in and listen to
a book has helped them kind ofget back into consuming
(05:33):
storytelling.
Caitlin K (05:35):
This is a really interesting thing for me because
I need to shake that idea thatlike an audiobook isn't reading.
That's a very ableist opinion,right Like there are plenty of
people who cannot see who arereading using other materials,
like audiobooks.
We wouldn't tell them thatthey're not reading.
(05:57):
But I do sort of have that formyself.
It's like I'm very aware thataudiobooks are reading but for
whatever reason, it doesn't feellike that's what I'm doing when
I listen.
But I have just, on Jenny'srecommendation, which I will get
to later just started usingaudio books as a means for
myself to get back towards booksand I listen to it on my walk.
(06:19):
So I appreciate thisrecommendation.
This is absolutely a great wayto just enjoy books again.
Ariella Monti (06:27):
Yeah, absolutely, and personally, audiobooks
don't work for me.
They work for a lot of ADHDpeople.
They do not work for me becausemy mind tends to wander like a
lot.
So unless I'm in the car orsomeplace where the only thing
that I'm really doing islistening, I'm not going to be
(06:50):
able to grasp what is happeningin the story.
But I think that audiobooksdeliver a very valuable type of
storytelling, which is oralstorytelling, which is the
oldest kind of storytelling inyou know humanity.
(07:12):
Right, exactly, we had oralstorytelling before.
We had written storytelling andyou've got a lot of really
great narrators out there.
They have different kinds ofproduction.
So you've got, you know, yourbasic, like one narrator reads
the entire book and thensometimes you have two narrators
(07:32):
and then you have these likethematic, you know theatric ones
with that are more like a radioplay or something, and I think
that is a way to really kind ofhelp people dive back into
storytelling and something thatyou know if you have a
(07:53):
background in being read to as achild
it kind of harkens back to that.
So, even though it's not goodfor me personally, I still tell,
like everybody to dive into itand to kind of segue and kind of
(08:13):
connect that if you are aperson who does like to
physically read a book but youhave, you know, certain kinds of
processing disorders like thatare really common with people
who have ADHD or autism ordyslexia.
A few people have said thatreading the book and following
along while they listen to theaudiobook has been a game
(08:38):
changer for them.
So they are hearing it and thenthey're reading it and it is
just allowing them to processthe story in a way that using
one or the other medium alonewon't do.
And this does require, you know, the ability to sit still for a
(08:59):
while yeah.
Yeah, it's you know, but somepeople kind of do it.
They'll do it, maybe likebefore bed no-transcript.
Caitlin K (09:32):
Log in and play the version that's being read to
them so, like it would, youcould look at the pictures,
watch the words and and alsofollow along.
We know it's beneficial forcomprehension.
Just because it's beneficialfor children doesn't mean it's
not beneficial for an adult, soif that's something that you
have the ability to do, I wouldhighly recommend.
Ariella Monti (09:55):
Okay, yes, yeah, definitely, and kind of.
I had this a little bit laterin sort of my in my notes, but
it's a good segue to e-readers,because e-readers allow you to
change the typeface.
Yes, and you can change thetypeface to something that is a
(10:16):
lot more comfortable for you toread.
So, like I know, you and I arebig fans of Open Dyslexic on the
Kindle and that has.
I can't even tell you how thathas changed reading for me when
I read on my Kindle.
It has made it so much easier.
Caitlin K (10:35):
There is something about that for me that makes a
big difference.
And then I also adjust thebackground settings so that it's
not white.
It's white font on a blackscreen and it makes it easier
for my eyes as well.
Ariella Monti (10:47):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Along with all the otherbenefits of e-readers the
ability to change the settingsto make reading more accessible
and accommodate any challengesthat you have processing
challenges that you have itmakes reading less frustrating.
Caitlin K (11:06):
Right, or vision challenges, change the font size
, like all of that.
It's so much easier on ane-reader and I'm one of those
people who loves like the smellof a book.
Sounds like a weird one ofthose things.
But you know, when you go tothe library and there's like
definite smell and sometimes thebooks stink, right, but
sometimes there's like a reallibrary smell and like that
crinkle of the plastic when youopen the library.
(11:28):
I love that.
So I miss that part of having abook in my hand.
But it's just easier.
It's just so much easier for meusing my e-reader.
Ariella Monti (11:39):
Yeah, and there's a lot of different e-readers on
the market right now.
You know, for a little while itwas really just like the Kindle
and the Nook and like that's it, but now there are a few
different options and this wayyou can you basically can read,
you know, like anywhere that youcan get an ebook, so you can
get.
You know, get them from Libby,you can get them from Kindle
(12:02):
Unlimited.
You can subscribe to Kobo Plus,which is just the Kobo version
of Kindle Unlimited.
Bookshoporg carries ebooks andyou can download all of these
apps to this one device.
Caitlin K (12:17):
Even like your local library, may have a partnership
so that they'll send it to yourKindle account and then you can
read it that way.
The other thing that I willpoint out is that if you don't
have an e-reader, but you wouldlike the benefit of an e-reader,
you can download these apps toyour phone or tablet.
(12:38):
If you have Apple tabletdevices, then you can do that,
because I use the Kindle app onmy phone sometimes when I don't
have my e-reader with me, andthey do like think up the
progress between the books andstuff like that Exactly.
Ariella Monti (12:51):
And that's the great thing about using e-books
and using an e-reader or usingthe apps is that now you can
read anywhere without having tocarry a big, heavy book with you
.
A big heavy book with you, youcan read a chapter or two in the
waiting room.
You can do it while your kidsare in bed, which is kind of
(13:12):
where I do the bulk of myreading now is because my son
still wants somebody to sit withhim while he falls asleep.
That's when I do a lot of myreading and I, you know I have a
book light and stuff, but it'snice to also have the Kindle.
That doesn't shine reallybrightly and it's really.
It doesn't mess with my sleepand everything.
(13:32):
So, yeah, I really like aphysical bus too, but yeah, it's
a great option.
It makes reading a lot moreaccessible in a lot of different
ways.
Caitlin K (13:40):
Right, Okay, so we've talked about accessibility
features like audio books ande-readers, but what about like?
What do I read?
Like?
I like thrillers, butspecifically like true crime
based thrillers.
I'm not like a Grisham, youknow.
(14:02):
Like spy novels I can read, butthey're not really my thing.
Um.
So how do I know what to read?
What do I do?
Ariella Monti (14:11):
so you can start by the stuff that you, you know,
used to read before, likebefore the season of non-reading
, and you know you can startstart with that or start with,
like, the types of movies thatyou like watching and the types
of podcasts that you likelistening to, like kind of start
there and use that as just likea jumping off point.
(14:34):
You might find that sort ofdepending on where your season
of life you can't do.
Maybe you used to readthrillers and now you can't read
thrillers.
Yeah, you know, maybe right nowand that was one of the things
that popped up a lot in in whenI was crowdsourcing this was
that a lot of these parentswanted easy, cozy reads that
(15:02):
tend to be low conflict, they'renot emotionally taxing, they're
enjoyable, but they don'trequire a lot of emotional labor
to kind of get through them.
Caitlin K (15:15):
Yeah, you know.
Ariella Monti (15:16):
Yeah, and that just might be like the season
that you're in.
Like, you know, when I wasyounger, I would read a lot of
horror, and I can't read horror.
Now I like almost exclusivelyread romance because I need a
happy ending.
Sure, I need to know that likeeverything's going to turn out
okay, even if there's likemurder and mayhem.
(15:39):
Like I need to know that likeeverything's going to be all
right, because that's kind ofwhere I am in life.
Welcome to the 2025 times.
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah, read to escape, right.
Other things could be readingnovellas or short stories.
So novellas, they're a completestory and there is a lot of
(16:01):
debate over how long a novellais, but typically you're going
to find them and they're goingto be under like 150 pages, ish.
Oh, so they're longer than ashort story, sure, and shorter
than A traditional novel, theaverage.
Yeah, the average novel now ismuch longer than it used to be.
(16:22):
So, yeah, and the good thingabout these is that they're an
entire story in a much smallerpackage.
So if you pick up a novella andit's only say like 100 pages,
you know you could potentiallyfinish that in a night, in an
hour.
Caitlin K (16:43):
If you're reading 100 pages in an hour.
Dude, I have friends who readvery quickly.
Ariella Monti (16:47):
Can I read 100 pages in an hour?
Dude, I have, I have friendswho read very quickly.
Can I read a hundred pages inan hour?
Caitlin K (16:51):
absolutely not, I can pretend to read a hundred pages
again.
I will read it and then be likewhat did I just read, right?
Ariella Monti (16:57):
when did that?
Caitlin K (16:58):
happen in the story.
Don't bring me to book clubbecause I don't know.
Ariella Monti (17:00):
Yeah oh yeah, like depending, so I have.
I have a friend, and you knowthis is a plug, but it's also
not a plug.
Um, she calls my novellas that Iwrite bathtub reads, because
she reads them in the bath andthey're that short that she can
almost finish it yeah, she'salso a very fast reader, but yes
(17:22):
, they are short enough that youknow if you're not finishing in
one, you'll probably finish itin the other.
Like they are just that, andyou can do the same with short
stories.
So if you get like an anthology, you know an anthology of short
stories might be like a realbeefy book, but you're looking
(17:42):
at like maybe 10 short storiesin this and those short stories
or those essays, they might onlytake you, like you know, 30
minutes to read and you'reyou're getting the sense of
accomplishment, of like havingread something of having read
something.
It's not like oh, I I spent xamount of time reading this and
(18:04):
now I still have like a thousandmore pages left.
It's like no, I like sat downand.
Caitlin K (18:10):
I like that's.
The other piece of this that Ilike is the sense of
accomplishment.
I read your novellas.
I think it took me a few hours,but that's because I was like
stopping and getting up andmoving around because I needed
to life.
Yeah, life right, but yeah, I,I.
A novella is a great way to go.
I have this in my head that,like I, I have to read a novel,
I have to read a whole book.
But who says a whole book needsto be longer than 100 pages?
Ariella Monti (18:34):
No, it doesn't need to be at all.
It is a whole book.
You read the whole thing.
Caitlin K (18:38):
How is that not a whole?
Ariella Monti (18:39):
book Right right and novellas tend to be what I
call cozy reads, so they tend tobe really low conflict and if
you are just kind of looking forsomething that doesn't have a
lot of emotional labor kind ofattached to it like, novellas
are a really good option.
(19:07):
There's a ton of them,especially in contemporary
romance, which is it tends to behow I read that particular
genre, and this is the othergreat thing about novellas and
short stories is, if you'retrying to find authors or genres
that you want to read but youdon't want to commit to an
entire novel, you can read anovella from an author, get a
really good sense of theirwriting style yeah, exactly.
(19:30):
And then you can, you know,read something a little bit
longer.
So it ends up being kind oflike this Gateway book Sample.
Caitlin K (19:37):
Yeah, it ends up being like a gateway book I read
.
Ariella Monti (19:40):
Abby Jimenez and Christina Lauren are two really
big contemporary romance authorsand I read some really great
novellas from them.
But contemporary romance is nottypically a genre that I like
to read.
A whole novel of Sure.
Caitlin K (20:01):
So yeah, you do.
You just got it that way.
Yeah, that's great.
Okay, cozy Reads, I'm into.
What else do you recommend forgetting this back in my life?
Ariella Monti (20:12):
So one that I had not thought of was fan fiction.
I didn't think of fan fictionbecause I kind of missed the
boat on fan fiction.
But fan fiction is great whenyou want to read something but
you don't have the bandwidth tokind of get to know new
(20:34):
characters.
So you read fan fiction for thefamiliarity, for the
familiarity, and now they'regoing to be new stories, which
is kind of the point of fanfiction.
You can explore thesecharacters kind of in different
ways but you don't have to getto know them like you already
(20:54):
know them, and really goodfanfic writers will kind of keep
true to the core characters.
So you don't have to like likeif you're already emotionally
attached to steve rogers, like Iam.
You know like, I don't have tolike, like if you're already
(21:15):
emotionally attached to SteveRogers, like I am, like I don't
have to take the time to likeget to know like Steve Rogers as
a character style, so eachchapter is more like an episode
of a TV series as opposed to achapter in a book.
Okay, so think about havinglike a whole complete episode in
(21:46):
kind of one sitting, and thenyou get the other one and then,
like you you know, there's sortof this like dopamine rush, of
like wanting the next one andthe next one, and the next one.
Caitlin K (21:52):
Yeah, it's like binging right.
I am also thinking about forsmall children, younger children
who are committed to charactersthey've seen in movies or tv
shows or games.
Um, this might be a good way toget them excited about reading.
Uh, if you have a minecraftchild in your life, like I do,
(22:15):
the game night 999 series theseare written by mark sheverton.
They are unofficial minecraftadventures, um, and it's game
night like a, like a knight witha sword, yeah, yeah, yeah, game
night 999.
My son has been listening tothose audiobooks before he goes
to sleep at night and he's wayinto them and, for whatever
(22:39):
reason, I'm the one who's inthere listening with him at the
same time and I don't hate thesestories, right.
There's some, you know, momentsthat I'm like I don't know what
that is, creeper, okay, like Ijust don't get it.
But he gets it and he's reallyinto it.
So fanfic might be a reallygood way to get yourself and
your child kind of into readingtogether.
(23:00):
We've talked about doing theseself-care things with your child
definitely highly recommendreading alongside your child oh,
absolutely With your child toyour child, next to your child.
Each of you have your own book.
I'm going to try and do thething where, if my son is
reading in the living room, I'mgoing to try and grab a book and
sit so that he sees us doing ittoo.
Ariella Monti (23:21):
I will say for fan fiction be careful where you
get that content.
Yes, thank you.
So you know if you're going,there's platforms like Wattpad
and AO3.
And a lot of that content isnot necessarily child friendly.
No, it is not safe for work,kind of stuff I am referring to,
(23:49):
like the.
Caitlin K (23:50):
I'm talking about stories you might find out of
the book.
Ariella Monti (23:52):
Oh sure, no, totally, no, totally I just want
to make sure, because there'sgoing to be somebody out there
who's like listen, look at theromance writers telling children
to read smut.
Caitlin K (24:02):
No, no, no no, we are not doing that at all, no no,
no, no, no, Right no no, no,okay, I need body doubles and
accountability buddies to makeme do anything, including
laundry chores, paying bills,work, anything.
(24:23):
So would you recommend that asa way for me to get back into
reading Totally?
Ariella Monti (24:28):
I think joining a book club, while it is kind of
the most time consuming optionso you do have to have the time
in your schedule for it it isgoing to be the one that holds
you the most accountable.
You know, because you're goingto pick a book with a group of
people.
Maybe you suggested the bookand you show up to book club and
(24:49):
you haven't read it.
Caitlin K (24:51):
Yeah, I have been in a book club where the where a
lot of it did not get read.
That said, I am such a likegoody goody in some ways that I
was like, oh my God, it's myhomework, I didn't do my
homework and I would like readlike a maniac, you know, in the
days upcoming or days prior tobook club.
So, yeah, that is one way toget your book club Right.
Ariella Monti (25:10):
Sometimes it's like one of those.
Yeah, Sometimes you just needto like light the fire under
your butt you know Right, giveme a deadline, otherwise I'm not
doing it Exactly.
Exactly.
Virtual book clubs are helpfulbecause you can still block off
the time but you don't have totravel anywhere, right, you know
(25:32):
.
So that kind of makes it alittle bit more accessible and
then you don't have to just bein a book club like in your
immediate community.
But book clubs is.
It's how I got back into aregular reading habit joining a
book club in my neighborhood,reading habit, joining a book
(25:52):
club in my neighborhood.
Then if you are the kind ofperson if you're, if you're like
me, where you don't want to betold what to read because I'm a
slow reader, like I, becausedon't tell me what to do, right,
that's why a?
don't tell me what to do, as ifyou want me to do something,
tell me not to do it.
Tell me not to do right, that'swhy a don't tell me what to do,
as if you want me to dosomething, tell me not to do it
tell me not to do it becauseI'll do it, and the opposite, so
(26:15):
don't tell me what to read.
And also, I am a slow reader.
And because I am a slow reader,if I have to read something for
a book club, that's going to bethe only thing that I read you
know that month, like I don't, Idon't have the time to read
more than that.
So if you're, if you're one ofthose people, a lot of small
(26:36):
bookstores and possiblylibraries but I've seen it
mostly done at small likeindependent bookstores are doing
silent book club, where it's anight, or an evening rather, and
you go and there maybe there isa little bit of chatting or
anything, but you just go andread with a whole bunch of other
(27:00):
people and you can't bedistracted by other people doing
stuff, because everybody'ssitting there reading Right and
for body doubling, that's areally good way to end it
Exactly.
I have yet to go to one of thesethings.
There are a couple ofbookstores in my area that have
been doing them and they justhave not worked out for my
schedule.
But yeah, it ends up being likeokay, well, I know that X
(27:25):
Bookstore hosts Silent Book Clubevery other Tuesday, and then
you could go every other Tuesdayand you'll just go, and the
whole idea is to just go andread with a whole bunch of other
book nerds.
Caitlin K (27:39):
Oh my gosh, that sounds amazing.
That feels like a treatyourself kind of moment right.
Like, I go to the bookstore, Iget the beverage that I want.
I get myself comfortable insome sort of adult beanbag chair
it has to be an adult one,because otherwise I can't get up
and then I just sit and read mybook and it's quiet.
(28:00):
Hopefully it's raining outsideand I can hear it.
I'm just painting a littlepicture in my head for myself.
I hope you're enjoying it too.
Anyway, so all of these, Ithink, are super helpful.
At least one or two of theseare things that I actually have
the time and can do and willhelp me explore a different kind
of reading, because there'sonly so many times I can read
(28:22):
the story of the girl on thetrain who then gets murdered by
or sees a murder.
Was that there was actually abook called the Girl on the
Train?
Ariella Monti (28:30):
Who Then Gets Murdered by or Sees a Murder.
There was actually a bookcalled the Girl on the Train.
The Girl on the Train and I didread it.
Caitlin K (28:33):
I read it in a book club, yeah, I actually.
You know, there's only so manytimes I can read that, yeah, but
they're always interesting tome, but anyway.
Anyway, so, speaking of thingsthat we are reading now, I
thought I would spin this backin that self-care direction,
(28:54):
because I have again juststarted reading through
audiobooks and I wanted to sharea few books that are helping
people dig into various topicsrelated to self-care for
themselves.
Some of these are recommendedby friends and family.
Some of these I found on Reddit, so I'm going to tell you that
I have not read all of these,but all of them have a four star
(29:15):
or better rating on that A to Zwebsite where you can log all
the books that you want to readand that are on your shelf and
stuff.
So one of them is the More orLess Definitive Guide to Self
Care from A to Z by Anna Borges,b-o-r-g-e-s.
I don't know if it's Borges orBorges, but I'm sorry Anna,
(29:35):
she's not listening.
The next one is Get Out of yourMind and Into your Life the New
Acceptance and CommitmentTherapy by Stephen Hayes and
Spencer Smith, and this one haslots of really great reviews and
people saying it's beenabsolutely game changing for
them with this particular typeof therapy.
That is, research backed thisone.
(29:55):
I can't vouch for the book, butI can vouch for the author.
This is how to Keep House Well,drowning by KC Davis, kc the
letters and C like and thesunshine band.
So again, this book is infested, but her podcast is.
Ariella Monti (30:12):
I can vouch for how to Keep.
Caitlin K (30:14):
Housewell.
Ariella Monti (30:15):
Drowning.
Okay, how to Keep HousewellDrowning.
Yes, yes, I have it.
I have read it.
Kc Davis is my lord and savior.
She's phenomenal, and so I canvouch for this one.
Caitlin K (30:26):
Yeah, I, I really again, she has an amazing
podcast.
Just search for Casey Davis,you'll find it.
It'll come right up, um, andthen come back in here and
listen here, because I need youto um and and um.
Uh, she's a board certifiedcounselor, yeah, and she started
(30:47):
sharing her ideas on TikTok andher TikTok account was wildly
popular for just beingincredibly validating.
And she has ADHD and she has ahistory that she's not
necessarily the proudest of andshe's turned her life around and
she's a mom and there's a lotabout her that, uh, is just
absolutely relatable in everyway and she's funny.
So I highly highly recommendanything Casey Davis for
(31:08):
self-care.
This one has a lot of greatrecommendations and a lot of
people mentioned it is TinyHabits, the Small Changes that
Change Everything, which hasbeen one that I've heard of and
I just have it on my want toread and haven't done it.
This one is the one that I likeneed to move to the top of my
want to read list, but it'scalled Burnout the Secret to
(31:30):
Unlocking the Stress Cycle, byEmily and Amelia Nagoski.
They're sisters.
Emily is a PhD, amelia, I think, is an MBA.
I'm not positive about that,but I think she is.
This book is written especiallyfor women.
It came out in like 2019, 2020,somewhere in there.
For women.
(31:50):
It came out in like 2019, 2020,somewhere in there, and it's
all about how women specificallyhandle stress and burnout and
how to fix that.
This one Set Boundaries andFind Peace A Guide to Reclaiming
Yourself, by Nedra GloverTawwab.
A Redditor said that histherapist recommended this one,
and if a man is in therapy,bless you.
(32:10):
First of all, you all need it.
Second of all, you actuallyread the book.
Uh, I'm going to, and he saidit was really important to him.
So I'm going to go ahead andsay, yes, it has a great rating,
and someone actually vetted forit, who might be the kind of
person that I want to associatemyself with.
So there you go, and then thisis one that I am listening to
(32:31):
right now.
It's called Self-Compassion theProven Power of being Kind to
Yourself, by Kristen Neff.
Jenny recommended this book tome just the other day and told
me to listen to it on my walks,which I am doing.
Thank you, jenny, and yes, Idon't like being told what to do
(32:56):
, but I am doing it, and this isprobably my biggest area of
struggle when it comes toself-care is self-compassion, so
it's been helpful.
There are a few things in thatthat I've been like.
She's kind of made a comment ortwo about anxiety medications
and depression medications thatI kind of was like, hey now, but
then she sort of walked it backand said it in a way that was
more accepting.
So if you hear that and you getturned off by it, just know she
understands and she's turningit around.
(33:17):
So yeah, so we've got how toget back into reading and then a
few books that if you want toexplore self-care more, those
are some recommendations that wehave for you.
We'll be right back after ashort break For links to
resources mentioned in thisepisode.
Head on over tockandgkpodcastcom to find
everything you need and be sureto follow us on social media.
(33:40):
Head over to your favoritesocial media network and find us
at CKandGK Podcast.
And now back to the show.
We are back and I need to knowwhat you're obsessed with right
now.
Ariella Monti (33:56):
I'm obsessed with the character art that I
commissioned for my book.
Caitlin K (34:03):
Oh my goodness, it's not inappropriate.
Ariella Monti (34:07):
No, I've seen it.
Caitlin K (34:09):
It's not inappropriate.
Ariella Monti (34:10):
No, but.
Caitlin K (34:11):
I have to say.
Ariella Monti (34:12):
That's the next commission I pay for.
Well, we won't put that on mywebsite.
Caitlin K (34:14):
You can put it on yours.
No, but I have to say that'sthe next commission I pay for.
Well, we won't put that on mywebsite?
Ariella Monti (34:17):
No, no, you can put it on yours.
Caitlin K (34:18):
No, I'll link to it but I'm not going to.
Ariella Monti (34:21):
But yeah, so I had this art commissioned.
I don't have the final productyet, but I've been seeing like
updates and stuff and I'm justlike so freaking thrilled with
it dates and stuff and I'm justlike so freaking thrilled with
it and I understand now why somany authors have character art
(34:41):
commissions.
Yeah, it's a very specific kindof dopamine hit.
To see your like, thecharacters you have like in your
brain on a piece of paper.
Yeah, especially if you don'tlike.
I don't have any sort ofdrawing talent, so to like to
see it is phenomenal, so yeah,that's so special
(35:06):
congratulations.
Caitlin K (35:07):
I love like I love all these updates.
They just make me happy.
Ariella Monti (35:10):
Um, my obsession is really lame compared to yours
it's pop chips okay, so theseare so pop, these are the like,
the little like crispy, likelittle circles.
Caitlin K (35:25):
They look like.
They look like tiny um like,like rice cakes.
Ariella Monti (35:31):
Yes, thank you, they look like tiny rice cakes.
Okay, so fun, funny story.
The founder of that company isfrom I believe it's from, like,
the Rockville Center area and Idid a story when she launched
those chips and interviewed her.
Caitlin K (35:51):
Are you going to ruin my snack for me right now?
No, no, oh, no, oh, okay I waswaiting for you to be like, and
the so-and-so is not the kind ofperson that you want.
Ariella Monti (36:04):
Oh no, she was very nice.
I'm sure she's lovely.
Yeah, no, she was just verynice.
She brought like bags of ofthese chips and Yum.
Caitlin K (36:08):
Yeah, I cannot stop.
They're so good and they're lowcalorie and they satisfy my
need for salt and somethingcrunchy, and I'm obsessed.
Ariella Monti (36:17):
I'll have to try them again.
Caitlin K (36:18):
Yeah, one of the rules in my house is I need
snackies, and my snackies alwaysneed to be replenished, and so
that's the snack that has to beavailable in the house.
Ariella Monti (36:30):
I'll have to try them again.
I wasn't a huge fan at the timebecause of course they brought
samples and stuff, but it hasbeen like 15 years.
Caitlin K (36:41):
Yeah, they're so good , even just the plain salt ones.
I love them.
Doesn't matter, I'll eat allthe flavors, but I had like she
has like a sour cream and chive,which is one of my favorite.
Anything sour cream, something,I'm going to eat it.
So, anyway, that's not as coolas yours, but it's the thing I
(37:03):
can't stop, so there you go.
Ariella Monti (37:04):
It makes you happy.
What are your?
Caitlin K (37:05):
gems.
It does make me happy.
Self-care.
Ariella Monti (37:08):
Pop chips.
So my gem happened this morning.
So we've discussed the rooster,right, my rooster Steve Rogers.
Yeah, I changed his name, it'snot Steve Rogers anymore, it's
just Rogers, because I've seensome behavior from this rooster
that Steve Rogers would never so, oh dear, I can't even say like
(37:34):
.
He's like little and scrappyand stuff and like like how
pre-serum Steve was, he's.
He's just like, he's a chicken,chicken Like but in any case.
So that's not my gym but like Iguess it could be my job.
But so this morning kid comesdownstairs and he's sitting at
(37:58):
the table and he's getting hisyou know medication and stuff.
And we look out the window andthere is Rougers, our rooster,
and Yelena, one of our otherhens, and the rooster did what
rooster and hens do and my kidwas like huh, and I was just
(38:22):
like well, that's how you getfertilized eggs?
Oh, okay, I'm like that's howbaby chicks are made.
And then he goes.
I thought he was, was, Ithought he would do that with
the other chicken and I'm likewhy?
And he's like because he'salways following her around.
(38:44):
And so then I had to explainthe difference between like
monogamous birds and polyamorousbirds, oh, parenthood.
Caitlin K (38:56):
These are the things you don't expect to be talking
about.
Ariella Monti (39:00):
No no.
Caitlin K (39:01):
But you know, but he's hearing the real bit of it
from you.
Ariella Monti (39:07):
Yes, so there we go, right, don't complain.
Caitlin K (39:09):
Yeah, well, my gem is courtesy of Jenny, who is
feeling much more like herself.
She's not.
She's probably still doing toomuch before she, you know, is
allowed to be Shocking.
Yeah, yeah, I know right, shenever stops moving.
But she honored my birthday ina very amazing way.
(39:35):
So I got two gifts.
One of them is being made, andI'm not sponsored by this
company.
It's a local Austin company.
They make really amazing beltsand the belt sales are going to
benefit a place where she and Iwent to go see a comedy show
(39:55):
together and they're really,really beautiful.
There's like weaving on themand they're different colors and
all that and it's absolutelystunning, but it's being made,
so I can't have it yet.
So, in order to honor mybirthday and hand me something
because I like presents and sheknows that she bought me what
she has lovingly called the mostridiculous thing on the
(40:16):
internet and she's not wrong,okay, so I'm gonna paint a
little picture for our listenersand I'm gonna get you're gonna
get to see it and I'm gonna puta picture of it on our website.
So make sure you head over tothe website for a head, the
(40:37):
rock's head and fists at the endof the tentacles, and the
tentacles can move what it is?
A rocktopus, and I need you tounderstand how ridiculous we're
actually talking here.
It's like the rock's eyebrow islifted up, it's pink and the
(40:58):
ends are a fist like.
This is this, is the?
It is easily the mostridiculous thing on the internet
and when I opened it I cackledlike to the, to the point where
I couldn't breathe.
When I was describing it laterto my boss, marla, and I and she
(41:20):
was like someone now on theinternet thinks that it's okay
to make these you understand,like now they know they have a
market I was like first of all,I didn't buy it.
Second of all, good, becausethis is hysterical and it's on
my desk and it's just sittingthere like cracking me up
regularly it is the mostridiculous thing.
It's so weird.
Who's thinking of this stuff?
Ariella Monti (41:49):
Why lately?
But the fact that we have thetechnology to bring this, these
ideas, to life is just soamazing to me.
Like somebody was like I needto make this and make it a
reality, and they did, and I'mjust so thankful and other
(42:10):
people are using that sametechnology to create things like
prosthetic limbs or houses forpeople, and we have a rocked
apartment.
Caitlin K (42:21):
It just made me so happy and, at the same time, so.
Jenny's daughter and husbandwere there with her while she
dropped this off with me and youcould just see it on her 13 old
daughter's face of like my momis so weird, like my mom is so
weird, and only my mom's bestfriend would understand what
(42:43):
this is and why this is amazing,right, and I, oh my god, I just
I just looked at her and I waslike your mom is the best, like,
yes, she's weird, but she'syours and she's the best.
So, anyways, that's my, that'smy gem, is my, my rock to puss.
He's he's so weird and he looksat me every day while I'm
working.
It's really funny.
Anyway, that's my little momentof self-care, is a little
(43:06):
moment of laughter with my rockto puss.
Right, perfect, okay.
So we're going to wrap thisno-transcript.
Uh, hello and welcome to you.
Know that episode of uh Parksand Rec where it's the painting
episode and she's like, andwelcome to the painting Like.
That's where I was just giving.
Uh, hi, everyone, we're so gladyou're here.
Welcome to the podcast.
Uh, this is how to be a grownup.
This is the how to show thatgives you advice on being a
(00:22):
grown-up, with hosts who arealways here for a little
downward social comparison andI'm Caitlin.
With me today, covering forJenny as she recovers from her
knee surgery is Arielle Amante,my author, friend of Roots in
Ink, and she's a sparklingfountain of wisdom and glitter.
Oh thank you.
(00:44):
Yeah, you're so welcome because, glittering this, and also
because we record virtually andnot in person, that glitter
stays far away from my house,which is excellent, right.
Ariella Monti (00:54):
It's probably the leftover glitter from when some
got dumped on me in 10th grade.
Caitlin K (00:59):
It never goes away, never goes away.
What's the line from KarenWalker?
I inhaled so much glitter, myboogers look like disco balls,
so good.
Okay, we are continuing ourSpring Into Self-Care series
this week with reading forself-care, and I think we sort
of touched on this a little bitwith hobbies, but I'm going to
(01:23):
trust my author friend here tohelp us do a deep dive into how
reading is catharsis and goodfor your self-care.
Ariella Monti (01:32):
Yes, you know I love a deep dive.
It's the reporter in me.
I love to unpack stuff.
Caitlin K (01:40):
There's a few words that are coming out in a lot of
like marketing lingo words, andunlock and unpack are two words
that I'm seeing all the time.
I refuse to use unlock in mytitles because I'm like, if I
see that word anymore, butunpack I'm fine with.
So let's unpack it, let's do it, yeah.
Ariella Monti (01:58):
We're going to unpack it.
Let's unpack this so, as mybrain completely goes blank.
Caitlin K (02:04):
Well, okay, so then let me, let me do this.
I will give you a little bit ofbackstory of why I'm so excited
about this.
Um, because I'm trying not totalk badly about myself, so I'm
going to say this in a, in a, ina way, that's is a spin, it's
my teacher's spin.
I have reading challenges inthat I can read like I'm
(02:29):
literate.
I often, though, read so fastthat I miss things and have to
go back and reread, or don'tknow that I miss things and
don't understand what I've read.
The other thing that I have anissue with is if I read, if I
don't read too fast, I'm readingtoo slowly, and I'm taking
notes on everything, and itfeels tedious, so it stops being
fun, um, and so, for thatreason, I don't read as often as
(02:54):
I should, and I'd really reallylike to get back into it
because it feels good.
It's just one of those thingsthat I want to get back to, and
I I saw this and thought, okay,I'm really making a concentrated
effort to put self-care first,and this is something.
This is a topic I want to talkabout, so let's start there.
Ariella Monti (03:18):
How do I get back into this?
From seeing that in some of mysmaller moms groups where people
were voracious readers at onepoint in their life and then
life happens and they get out ofreading and they want to get
back into it.
So this is geared toward thosetypes of readers.
(03:41):
It's for people who you knowused to be big readers, maybe
when they were kids, when theywere teens, in their 20s, and
then for one reason or another,got out of it and kind of want
to get back into it.
Sure.
Caitlin K (03:55):
Yeah, that makes sense.
Ariella Monti (03:57):
So some of these are just kind of ideas that I
kind of pulled from the ether,have either, you know, worked
for me or have worked for otherparents that I've spoken to.
Many of these tips were alsocrowdsourced by a statistically
insignificant number of people.
Caitlin K (04:18):
I love a good crowdsourcing, Like that's
really all.
Reddit is right.
I love that.
That's great.
Ariella Monti (04:24):
Yeah, most of these came from one particular
group of moms who are about ourage.
They have kids kind of mostly,for the most part kind of under,
you know, 15 and under.
So they are our peers in thisand there were a couple of
different things that kind ofcame up over and over and over
(04:46):
again.
Caitlin K (04:46):
Yeah.
Ariella Monti (04:47):
So the first one and it was sort of the biggest
one that came up was audiobooks.
Instead of using a physical,you know, paperback, or even an
e-reader, going straight toaudiobooks, sitting and reading,
might not be realistic rightnow, but audiobooks let you
(05:10):
multitask, which is when a lotof these parents said that they
were reading was when they weredoing something else, when they
were doing laundry or cleaningor commuting.
Just the ability to kind of poptheir earbuds in and listen to
a book has helped them kind ofget back into consuming
(05:33):
storytelling.
Caitlin K (05:35):
This is a really interesting thing for me because
I need to shake that idea thatlike an audiobook isn't reading.
That's a very ableist opinion,right Like there are plenty of
people who cannot see who arereading using other materials,
like audiobooks.
We wouldn't tell them thatthey're not reading.
(05:57):
But I do sort of have that formyself.
It's like I'm very aware thataudiobooks are reading but for
whatever reason, it doesn't feellike that's what I'm doing when
I listen.
But I have just, on Jenny'srecommendation, which I will get
to later just started usingaudio books as a means for
myself to get back towards booksand I listen to it on my walk.
(06:19):
So I appreciate thisrecommendation.
This is absolutely a great wayto just enjoy books again.
Ariella Monti (06:27):
Yeah, absolutely, and personally, audiobooks
don't work for me.
They work for a lot of ADHDpeople.
They do not work for me becausemy mind tends to wander like a
lot.
So unless I'm in the car orsomeplace where the only thing
that I'm really doing islistening, I'm not going to be
(06:50):
able to grasp what is happeningin the story.
But I think that audiobooksdeliver a very valuable type of
storytelling, which is oralstorytelling, which is the
oldest kind of storytelling inyou know humanity.
(07:12):
Right, exactly, we had oralstorytelling before.
We had written storytelling andyou've got a lot of really
great narrators out there.
They have different kinds ofproduction.
So you've got, you know, yourbasic, like one narrator reads
the entire book and thensometimes you have two narrators
(07:32):
and then you have these likethematic, you know theatric ones
with that are more like a radioplay or something, and I think
that is a way to really kind ofhelp people dive back into
storytelling and something thatyou know if you have a
(07:53):
background in being read to as achild
it kind of harkens back to that.
So, even though it's not goodfor me personally, I still tell,
like everybody to dive into itand to kind of segue and kind of
(08:13):
connect that if you are aperson who does like to
physically read a book but youhave, you know, certain kinds of
processing disorders like thatare really common with people
who have ADHD or autism ordyslexia.
A few people have said thatreading the book and following
along while they listen to theaudiobook has been a game
(08:38):
changer for them.
So they are hearing it and thenthey're reading it and it is
just allowing them to processthe story in a way that using
one or the other medium alonewon't do.
And this does require, you know, the ability to sit still for a
(08:59):
while yeah.
Yeah, it's you know, but somepeople kind of do it.
They'll do it, maybe likebefore bed no-transcript.
Caitlin K (09:32):
Log in and play the version that's being read to
them so, like it would, youcould look at the pictures,
watch the words and and alsofollow along.
We know it's beneficial forcomprehension.
Just because it's beneficialfor children doesn't mean it's
not beneficial for an adult, soif that's something that you
have the ability to do, I wouldhighly recommend.
Ariella Monti (09:55):
Okay, yes, yeah, definitely, and kind of.
I had this a little bit laterin sort of my in my notes, but
it's a good segue to e-readers,because e-readers allow you to
change the typeface.
Yes, and you can change thetypeface to something that is a
(10:16):
lot more comfortable for you toread.
So, like I know, you and I arebig fans of Open Dyslexic on the
Kindle and that has.
I can't even tell you how thathas changed reading for me when
I read on my Kindle.
It has made it so much easier.
Caitlin K (10:35):
There is something about that for me that makes a
big difference.
And then I also adjust thebackground settings so that it's
not white.
It's white font on a blackscreen and it makes it easier
for my eyes as well.
Ariella Monti (10:47):
Yeah, absolutely so.
Along with all the otherbenefits of e-readers the
ability to change the settingsto make reading more accessible
and accommodate any challengesthat you have processing
challenges that you have itmakes reading less frustrating.
Caitlin K (11:06):
Right, or vision challenges, change the font size
, like all of that.
It's so much easier on ane-reader and I'm one of those
people who loves like the smellof a book.
Sounds like a weird one ofthose things.
But you know, when you go tothe library and there's like
definite smell and sometimes thebooks stink, right, but
sometimes there's like a reallibrary smell and like that
crinkle of the plastic when youopen the library.
(11:28):
I love that.
So I miss that part of having abook in my hand.
But it's just easier.
It's just so much easier for meusing my e-reader.
Ariella Monti (11:39):
Yeah, and there's a lot of different e-readers on
the market right now.
You know, for a little while itwas really just like the Kindle
and the Nook and like that's it, but now there are a few
different options and this wayyou can you basically can read,
you know, like anywhere that youcan get an ebook, so you can
get.
You know, get them from Libby,you can get them from Kindle
(12:02):
Unlimited.
You can subscribe to Kobo Plus,which is just the Kobo version
of Kindle Unlimited.
Bookshoporg carries ebooks andyou can download all of these
apps to this one device.
Caitlin K (12:17):
Even like your local library, may have a partnership
so that they'll send it to yourKindle account and then you can
read it that way.
The other thing that I willpoint out is that if you don't
have an e-reader, but you wouldlike the benefit of an e-reader,
you can download these apps toyour phone or tablet.
(12:38):
If you have Apple tabletdevices, then you can do that,
because I use the Kindle app onmy phone sometimes when I don't
have my e-reader with me, andthey do like think up the
progress between the books andstuff like that Exactly.
Ariella Monti (12:51):
And that's the great thing about using e-books
and using an e-reader or usingthe apps is that now you can
read anywhere without having tocarry a big, heavy book with you
.
A big heavy book with you, youcan read a chapter or two in the
waiting room.
You can do it while your kidsare in bed, which is kind of
(13:12):
where I do the bulk of myreading now is because my son
still wants somebody to sit withhim while he falls asleep.
That's when I do a lot of myreading and I, you know I have a
book light and stuff, but it'snice to also have the Kindle.
That doesn't shine reallybrightly and it's really.
It doesn't mess with my sleepand everything.
(13:32):
So, yeah, I really like aphysical bus too, but yeah, it's
a great option.
It makes reading a lot moreaccessible in a lot of different
ways.
Caitlin K (13:40):
Right, Okay, so we've talked about accessibility
features like audio books ande-readers, but what about like?
What do I read?
Like?
I like thrillers, butspecifically like true crime
based thrillers.
I'm not like a Grisham, youknow.
(14:02):
Like spy novels I can read, butthey're not really my thing.
Um.
So how do I know what to read?
What do I do?
Ariella Monti (14:11):
so you can start by the stuff that you, you know,
used to read before, likebefore the season of non-reading
, and you know you can startstart with that or start with,
like, the types of movies thatyou like watching and the types
of podcasts that you likelistening to, like kind of start
there and use that as just likea jumping off point.
(14:34):
You might find that sort ofdepending on where your season
of life you can't do.
Maybe you used to readthrillers and now you can't read
thrillers.
Yeah, you know, maybe right nowand that was one of the things
that popped up a lot in in whenI was crowdsourcing this was
that a lot of these parentswanted easy, cozy reads that
(15:02):
tend to be low conflict, they'renot emotionally taxing, they're
enjoyable, but they don'trequire a lot of emotional labor
to kind of get through them.
Caitlin K (15:15):
Yeah, you know.
Ariella Monti (15:16):
Yeah, and that just might be like the season
that you're in.
Like, you know, when I wasyounger, I would read a lot of
horror, and I can't read horror.
Now I like almost exclusivelyread romance because I need a
happy ending.
Sure, I need to know that likeeverything's going to turn out
okay, even if there's likemurder and mayhem.
(15:39):
Like I need to know that likeeverything's going to be all
right, because that's kind ofwhere I am in life.
Welcome to the 2025 times.
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah, read to escape, right.
Other things could be readingnovellas or short stories.
So novellas, they're a completestory and there is a lot of
(16:01):
debate over how long a novellais, but typically you're going
to find them and they're goingto be under like 150 pages, ish.
Oh, so they're longer than ashort story, sure, and shorter
than A traditional novel, theaverage.
Yeah, the average novel now ismuch longer than it used to be.
(16:22):
So, yeah, and the good thingabout these is that they're an
entire story in a much smallerpackage.
So if you pick up a novella andit's only say like 100 pages,
you know you could potentiallyfinish that in a night, in an
hour.
Caitlin K (16:43):
If you're reading 100 pages in an hour.
Dude, I have friends who readvery quickly.
Ariella Monti (16:47):
Can I read 100 pages in an hour?
Dude, I have, I have friendswho read very quickly.
Can I read a hundred pages inan hour?
Caitlin K (16:51):
absolutely not, I can pretend to read a hundred pages
again.
I will read it and then be likewhat did I just read, right?
Ariella Monti (16:57):
when did that?
Caitlin K (16:58):
happen in the story.
Don't bring me to book clubbecause I don't know.
Ariella Monti (17:00):
Yeah oh yeah, like depending, so I have.
I have a friend, and you knowthis is a plug, but it's also
not a plug.
Um, she calls my novellas that Iwrite bathtub reads, because
she reads them in the bath andthey're that short that she can
almost finish it yeah, she'salso a very fast reader, but yes
(17:22):
, they are short enough that youknow if you're not finishing in
one, you'll probably finish itin the other.
Like they are just that, andyou can do the same with short
stories.
So if you get like an anthology, you know an anthology of short
stories might be like a realbeefy book, but you're looking
(17:42):
at like maybe 10 short storiesin this and those short stories
or those essays, they might onlytake you, like you know, 30
minutes to read and you'reyou're getting the sense of
accomplishment, of like havingread something of having read
something.
It's not like oh, I I spent xamount of time reading this and
(18:04):
now I still have like a thousandmore pages left.
It's like no, I like sat downand.
Caitlin K (18:10):
I like that's.
The other piece of this that Ilike is the sense of
accomplishment.
I read your novellas.
I think it took me a few hours,but that's because I was like
stopping and getting up andmoving around because I needed
to life.
Yeah, life right, but yeah, I,I.
A novella is a great way to go.
I have this in my head that,like I, I have to read a novel,
I have to read a whole book.
But who says a whole book needsto be longer than 100 pages?
Ariella Monti (18:34):
No, it doesn't need to be at all.
It is a whole book.
You read the whole thing.
Caitlin K (18:38):
How is that not a whole?
Ariella Monti (18:39):
book Right right and novellas tend to be what I
call cozy reads, so they tend tobe really low conflict and if
you are just kind of looking forsomething that doesn't have a
lot of emotional labor kind ofattached to it like, novellas
are a really good option.
(19:07):
There's a ton of them,especially in contemporary
romance, which is it tends to behow I read that particular
genre, and this is the othergreat thing about novellas and
short stories is, if you'retrying to find authors or genres
that you want to read but youdon't want to commit to an
entire novel, you can read anovella from an author, get a
really good sense of theirwriting style yeah, exactly.
(19:30):
And then you can, you know,read something a little bit
longer.
So it ends up being kind oflike this Gateway book Sample.
Caitlin K (19:37):
Yeah, it ends up being like a gateway book I read
.
Ariella Monti (19:40):
Abby Jimenez and Christina Lauren are two really
big contemporary romance authorsand I read some really great
novellas from them.
But contemporary romance is nottypically a genre that I like
to read.
A whole novel of Sure.
Caitlin K (20:01):
So yeah, you do.
You just got it that way.
Yeah, that's great.
Okay, cozy Reads, I'm into.
What else do you recommend forgetting this back in my life?
Ariella Monti (20:12):
So one that I had not thought of was fan fiction.
I didn't think of fan fictionbecause I kind of missed the
boat on fan fiction.
But fan fiction is great whenyou want to read something but
you don't have the bandwidth tokind of get to know new
(20:34):
characters.
So you read fan fiction for thefamiliarity, for the
familiarity, and now they'regoing to be new stories, which
is kind of the point of fanfiction.
You can explore thesecharacters kind of in different
ways but you don't have to getto know them like you already
(20:54):
know them, and really goodfanfic writers will kind of keep
true to the core characters.
So you don't have to like likeif you're already emotionally
attached to steve rogers, like Iam.
You know like, I don't have tolike, like if you're already
(21:15):
emotionally attached to SteveRogers, like I am, like I don't
have to take the time to likeget to know like Steve Rogers as
a character style, so eachchapter is more like an episode
of a TV series as opposed to achapter in a book.
Okay, so think about havinglike a whole complete episode in
(21:46):
kind of one sitting, and thenyou get the other one and then,
like you you know, there's sortof this like dopamine rush, of
like wanting the next one andthe next one, and the next one.
Caitlin K (21:52):
Yeah, it's like binging right.
I am also thinking about forsmall children, younger children
who are committed to charactersthey've seen in movies or tv
shows or games.
Um, this might be a good way toget them excited about reading.
Uh, if you have a minecraftchild in your life, like I do,
(22:15):
the game night 999 series theseare written by mark sheverton.
They are unofficial minecraftadventures, um, and it's game
night like a, like a knight witha sword, yeah, yeah, yeah, game
night 999.
My son has been listening tothose audiobooks before he goes
to sleep at night and he's wayinto them and, for whatever
(22:39):
reason, I'm the one who's inthere listening with him at the
same time and I don't hate thesestories, right.
There's some, you know, momentsthat I'm like I don't know what
that is, creeper, okay, like Ijust don't get it.
But he gets it and he's reallyinto it.
So fanfic might be a reallygood way to get yourself and
your child kind of into readingtogether.
(23:00):
We've talked about doing theseself-care things with your child
definitely highly recommendreading alongside your child oh,
absolutely With your child toyour child, next to your child.
Each of you have your own book.
I'm going to try and do thething where, if my son is
reading in the living room, I'mgoing to try and grab a book and
sit so that he sees us doing ittoo.
Ariella Monti (23:21):
I will say for fan fiction be careful where you
get that content.
Yes, thank you.
So you know if you're going,there's platforms like Wattpad
and AO3.
And a lot of that content isnot necessarily child friendly.
No, it is not safe for work,kind of stuff I am referring to,
(23:49):
like the.
Caitlin K (23:50):
I'm talking about stories you might find out of
the book.
Ariella Monti (23:52):
Oh sure, no, totally, no, totally I just want
to make sure, because there'sgoing to be somebody out there
who's like listen, look at theromance writers telling children
to read smut.
Caitlin K (24:02):
No, no, no no, we are not doing that at all, no no,
no, no, no, Right no no, no,okay, I need body doubles and
accountability buddies to makeme do anything, including
laundry chores, paying bills,work, anything.
(24:23):
So would you recommend that asa way for me to get back into
reading Totally?
Ariella Monti (24:28):
I think joining a book club, while it is kind of
the most time consuming optionso you do have to have the time
in your schedule for it it isgoing to be the one that holds
you the most accountable.
You know, because you're goingto pick a book with a group of
people.
Maybe you suggested the bookand you show up to book club and
(24:49):
you haven't read it.
Caitlin K (24:51):
Yeah, I have been in a book club where the where a
lot of it did not get read.
That said, I am such a likegoody goody in some ways that I
was like, oh my God, it's myhomework, I didn't do my
homework and I would like readlike a maniac, you know, in the
days upcoming or days prior tobook club.
So, yeah, that is one way toget your book club Right.
Ariella Monti (25:10):
Sometimes it's like one of those.
Yeah, Sometimes you just needto like light the fire under
your butt you know Right, giveme a deadline, otherwise I'm not
doing it Exactly.
Exactly.
Virtual book clubs are helpfulbecause you can still block off
the time but you don't have totravel anywhere, right, you know
(25:32):
.
So that kind of makes it alittle bit more accessible and
then you don't have to just bein a book club like in your
immediate community.
But book clubs is.
It's how I got back into aregular reading habit joining a
book club in my neighborhood,reading habit, joining a book
(25:52):
club in my neighborhood.
Then if you are the kind ofperson if you're, if you're like
me, where you don't want to betold what to read because I'm a
slow reader, like I, becausedon't tell me what to do, right,
that's why a?
don't tell me what to do, as ifyou want me to do something,
tell me not to do it.
Tell me not to do right, that'swhy a don't tell me what to do,
as if you want me to dosomething, tell me not to do it
tell me not to do it becauseI'll do it, and the opposite, so
(26:15):
don't tell me what to read.
And also, I am a slow reader.
And because I am a slow reader,if I have to read something for
a book club, that's going to bethe only thing that I read you
know that month, like I don't, Idon't have the time to read
more than that.
So if you're, if you're one ofthose people, a lot of small
(26:36):
bookstores and possiblylibraries but I've seen it
mostly done at small likeindependent bookstores are doing
silent book club, where it's anight, or an evening rather, and
you go and there maybe there isa little bit of chatting or
anything, but you just go andread with a whole bunch of other
(27:00):
people and you can't bedistracted by other people doing
stuff, because everybody'ssitting there reading Right and
for body doubling, that's areally good way to end it
Exactly.
I have yet to go to one of thesethings.
There are a couple ofbookstores in my area that have
been doing them and they justhave not worked out for my
schedule.
But yeah, it ends up being likeokay, well, I know that X
(27:25):
Bookstore hosts Silent Book Clubevery other Tuesday, and then
you could go every other Tuesdayand you'll just go, and the
whole idea is to just go andread with a whole bunch of other
book nerds.
Caitlin K (27:39):
Oh my gosh, that sounds amazing.
That feels like a treatyourself kind of moment right.
Like, I go to the bookstore, Iget the beverage that I want.
I get myself comfortable insome sort of adult beanbag chair
it has to be an adult one,because otherwise I can't get up
and then I just sit and read mybook and it's quiet.
(28:00):
Hopefully it's raining outsideand I can hear it.
I'm just painting a littlepicture in my head for myself.
I hope you're enjoying it too.
Anyway, so all of these, Ithink, are super helpful.
At least one or two of theseare things that I actually have
the time and can do and willhelp me explore a different kind
of reading, because there'sonly so many times I can read
(28:22):
the story of the girl on thetrain who then gets murdered by
or sees a murder.
Was that there was actually abook called the Girl on the
Train?
Ariella Monti (28:30):
Who Then Gets Murdered by or Sees a Murder.
There was actually a bookcalled the Girl on the Train.
The Girl on the Train and I didread it.
Caitlin K (28:33):
I read it in a book club, yeah, I actually.
You know, there's only so manytimes I can read that, yeah, but
they're always interesting tome, but anyway.
Anyway, so, speaking of thingsthat we are reading now, I
thought I would spin this backin that self-care direction,
(28:54):
because I have again juststarted reading through
audiobooks and I wanted to sharea few books that are helping
people dig into various topicsrelated to self-care for
themselves.
Some of these are recommendedby friends and family.
Some of these I found on Reddit, so I'm going to tell you that
I have not read all of these,but all of them have a four star
(29:15):
or better rating on that A to Zwebsite where you can log all
the books that you want to readand that are on your shelf and
stuff.
So one of them is the More orLess Definitive Guide to Self
Care from A to Z by Anna Borges,b-o-r-g-e-s.
I don't know if it's Borges orBorges, but I'm sorry Anna,
(29:35):
she's not listening.
The next one is Get Out of yourMind and Into your Life the New
Acceptance and CommitmentTherapy by Stephen Hayes and
Spencer Smith, and this one haslots of really great reviews and
people saying it's beenabsolutely game changing for
them with this particular typeof therapy.
That is, research backed thisone.
(29:55):
I can't vouch for the book, butI can vouch for the author.
This is how to Keep House Well,drowning by KC Davis, kc the
letters and C like and thesunshine band.
So again, this book is infested, but her podcast is.
Ariella Monti (30:12):
I can vouch for how to Keep.
Caitlin K (30:14):
Housewell.
Ariella Monti (30:15):
Drowning.
Okay, how to Keep HousewellDrowning.
Yes, yes, I have it.
I have read it.
Kc Davis is my lord and savior.
She's phenomenal, and so I canvouch for this one.
Caitlin K (30:26):
Yeah, I, I really again, she has an amazing
podcast.
Just search for Casey Davis,you'll find it.
It'll come right up, um, andthen come back in here and
listen here, because I need youto um and and um.
Uh, she's a board certifiedcounselor, yeah, and she started
(30:47):
sharing her ideas on TikTok andher TikTok account was wildly
popular for just beingincredibly validating.
And she has ADHD and she has ahistory that she's not
necessarily the proudest of andshe's turned her life around and
she's a mom and there's a lotabout her that, uh, is just
absolutely relatable in everyway and she's funny.
So I highly highly recommendanything Casey Davis for
(31:08):
self-care.
This one has a lot of greatrecommendations and a lot of
people mentioned it is TinyHabits, the Small Changes that
Change Everything, which hasbeen one that I've heard of and
I just have it on my want toread and haven't done it.
This one is the one that I likeneed to move to the top of my
want to read list, but it'scalled Burnout the Secret to
(31:30):
Unlocking the Stress Cycle, byEmily and Amelia Nagoski.
They're sisters.
Emily is a PhD, amelia, I think, is an MBA.
I'm not positive about that,but I think she is.
This book is written especiallyfor women.
It came out in like 2019, 2020,somewhere in there.
For women.
(31:50):
It came out in like 2019, 2020,somewhere in there, and it's
all about how women specificallyhandle stress and burnout and
how to fix that.
This one Set Boundaries andFind Peace A Guide to Reclaiming
Yourself, by Nedra GloverTawwab.
A Redditor said that histherapist recommended this one,
and if a man is in therapy,bless you.
(32:10):
First of all, you all need it.
Second of all, you actuallyread the book.
Uh, I'm going to, and he saidit was really important to him.
So I'm going to go ahead andsay, yes, it has a great rating,
and someone actually vetted forit, who might be the kind of
person that I want to associatemyself with.
So there you go, and then thisis one that I am listening to
(32:31):
right now.
It's called Self-Compassion theProven Power of being Kind to
Yourself, by Kristen Neff.
Jenny recommended this book tome just the other day and told
me to listen to it on my walks,which I am doing.
Thank you, jenny, and yes, Idon't like being told what to do
(32:56):
, but I am doing it, and this isprobably my biggest area of
struggle when it comes toself-care is self-compassion, so
it's been helpful.
There are a few things in thatthat I've been like.
She's kind of made a comment ortwo about anxiety medications
and depression medications thatI kind of was like, hey now, but
then she sort of walked it backand said it in a way that was
more accepting.
So if you hear that and you getturned off by it, just know she
understands and she's turningit around.
(33:17):
So yeah, so we've got how toget back into reading and then a
few books that if you want toexplore self-care more, those
are some recommendations that wehave for you.
We'll be right back after ashort break For links to
resources mentioned in thisepisode.
Head on over tockandgkpodcastcom to find
everything you need and be sureto follow us on social media.
(33:40):
Head over to your favoritesocial media network and find us
at CKandGK Podcast.
And now back to the show.
We are back and I need to knowwhat you're obsessed with right
now.
Ariella Monti (33:56):
I'm obsessed with the character art that I
commissioned for my book.
Caitlin K (34:03):
Oh my goodness, it's not inappropriate.
Ariella Monti (34:07):
No, I've seen it.
Caitlin K (34:09):
It's not inappropriate.
Ariella Monti (34:10):
No, but.
Caitlin K (34:11):
I have to say.
Ariella Monti (34:12):
That's the next commission I pay for.
Well, we won't put that on mywebsite.
Caitlin K (34:14):
You can put it on yours.
No, but I have to say that'sthe next commission I pay for.
Well, we won't put that on mywebsite?
Ariella Monti (34:17):
No, no, you can put it on yours.
Caitlin K (34:18):
No, I'll link to it but I'm not going to.
Ariella Monti (34:21):
But yeah, so I had this art commissioned.
I don't have the final productyet, but I've been seeing like
updates and stuff and I'm justlike so freaking thrilled with
it dates and stuff and I'm justlike so freaking thrilled with
it and I understand now why somany authors have character art
(34:41):
commissions.
Yeah, it's a very specific kindof dopamine hit.
To see your like, thecharacters you have like in your
brain on a piece of paper.
Yeah, especially if you don'tlike.
I don't have any sort ofdrawing talent, so to like to
see it is phenomenal, so yeah,that's so special
(35:06):
congratulations.
Caitlin K (35:07):
I love like I love all these updates.
They just make me happy.
Ariella Monti (35:10):
Um, my obsession is really lame compared to yours
it's pop chips okay, so theseare so pop, these are the like,
the little like crispy, likelittle circles.
Caitlin K (35:25):
They look like.
They look like tiny um like,like rice cakes.
Ariella Monti (35:31):
Yes, thank you, they look like tiny rice cakes.
Okay, so fun, funny story.
The founder of that company isfrom I believe it's from, like,
the Rockville Center area and Idid a story when she launched
those chips and interviewed her.
Caitlin K (35:51):
Are you going to ruin my snack for me right now?
No, no, oh, no, oh, okay I waswaiting for you to be like, and
the so-and-so is not the kind ofperson that you want.
Ariella Monti (36:04):
Oh no, she was very nice.
I'm sure she's lovely.
Yeah, no, she was just verynice.
She brought like bags of ofthese chips and Yum.
Caitlin K (36:08):
Yeah, I cannot stop.
They're so good and they're lowcalorie and they satisfy my
need for salt and somethingcrunchy, and I'm obsessed.
Ariella Monti (36:17):
I'll have to try them again.
Caitlin K (36:18):
Yeah, one of the rules in my house is I need
snackies, and my snackies alwaysneed to be replenished, and so
that's the snack that has to beavailable in the house.
Ariella Monti (36:30):
I'll have to try them again.
I wasn't a huge fan at the timebecause of course they brought
samples and stuff, but it hasbeen like 15 years.
Caitlin K (36:41):
Yeah, they're so good , even just the plain salt ones.
I love them.
Doesn't matter, I'll eat allthe flavors, but I had like she
has like a sour cream and chive,which is one of my favorite.
Anything sour cream, something,I'm going to eat it.
So, anyway, that's not as coolas yours, but it's the thing I
(37:03):
can't stop, so there you go.
Ariella Monti (37:04):
It makes you happy.
What are your?
Caitlin K (37:05):
gems.
It does make me happy.
Self-care.
Ariella Monti (37:08):
Pop chips.
So my gem happened this morning.
So we've discussed the rooster,right, my rooster Steve Rogers.
Yeah, I changed his name, it'snot Steve Rogers anymore, it's
just Rogers, because I've seensome behavior from this rooster
that Steve Rogers would never so, oh dear, I can't even say like
(37:34):
.
He's like little and scrappyand stuff and like like how
pre-serum Steve was, he's.
He's just like, he's a chicken,chicken Like but in any case.
So that's not my gym but like Iguess it could be my job.
But so this morning kid comesdownstairs and he's sitting at
(37:58):
the table and he's getting hisyou know medication and stuff.
And we look out the window andthere is Rougers, our rooster,
and Yelena, one of our otherhens, and the rooster did what
rooster and hens do and my kidwas like huh, and I was just
(38:22):
like well, that's how you getfertilized eggs?
Oh, okay, I'm like that's howbaby chicks are made.
And then he goes.
I thought he was, was, Ithought he would do that with
the other chicken and I'm likewhy?
And he's like because he'salways following her around.
(38:44):
And so then I had to explainthe difference between like
monogamous birds and polyamorousbirds, oh, parenthood.
Caitlin K (38:56):
These are the things you don't expect to be talking
about.
Ariella Monti (39:00):
No no.
Caitlin K (39:01):
But you know, but he's hearing the real bit of it
from you.
Ariella Monti (39:07):
Yes, so there we go, right, don't complain.
Caitlin K (39:09):
Yeah, well, my gem is courtesy of Jenny, who is
feeling much more like herself.
She's not.
She's probably still doing toomuch before she, you know, is
allowed to be Shocking.
Yeah, yeah, I know right, shenever stops moving.
But she honored my birthday ina very amazing way.
(39:35):
So I got two gifts.
One of them is being made, andI'm not sponsored by this
company.
It's a local Austin company.
They make really amazing beltsand the belt sales are going to
benefit a place where she and Iwent to go see a comedy show
(39:55):
together and they're really,really beautiful.
There's like weaving on themand they're different colors and
all that and it's absolutelystunning, but it's being made,
so I can't have it yet.
So, in order to honor mybirthday and hand me something
because I like presents and sheknows that she bought me what
she has lovingly called the mostridiculous thing on the
(40:16):
internet and she's not wrong,okay, so I'm gonna paint a
little picture for our listenersand I'm gonna get you're gonna
get to see it and I'm gonna puta picture of it on our website.
So make sure you head over tothe website for a head, the
(40:37):
rock's head and fists at the endof the tentacles, and the
tentacles can move what it is?
A rocktopus, and I need you tounderstand how ridiculous we're
actually talking here.
It's like the rock's eyebrow islifted up, it's pink and the
(40:58):
ends are a fist like.
This is this, is the?
It is easily the mostridiculous thing on the internet
and when I opened it I cackledlike to the, to the point where
I couldn't breathe.
When I was describing it laterto my boss, marla, and I and she
(41:20):
was like someone now on theinternet thinks that it's okay
to make these you understand,like now they know they have a
market I was like first of all,I didn't buy it.
Second of all, good, becausethis is hysterical and it's on
my desk and it's just sittingthere like cracking me up
regularly it is the mostridiculous thing.
It's so weird.
Who's thinking of this stuff?
Ariella Monti (41:49):
Why lately?
But the fact that we have thetechnology to bring this, these
ideas, to life is just soamazing to me.
Like somebody was like I needto make this and make it a
reality, and they did, and I'mjust so thankful and other
(42:10):
people are using that sametechnology to create things like
prosthetic limbs or houses forpeople, and we have a rocked
apartment.
Caitlin K (42:21):
It just made me so happy and, at the same time, so.
Jenny's daughter and husbandwere there with her while she
dropped this off with me and youcould just see it on her 13 old
daughter's face of like my momis so weird, like my mom is so
weird, and only my mom's bestfriend would understand what
(42:43):
this is and why this is amazing,right, and I, oh my god, I just
I just looked at her and I waslike your mom is the best, like,
yes, she's weird, but she'syours and she's the best.
So, anyways, that's my, that'smy gem, is my, my rock to puss.
He's he's so weird and he looksat me every day while I'm
working.
It's really funny.
Anyway, that's my little momentof self-care, is a little
(43:06):
moment of laughter with my rockto puss.
Right, perfect, okay.
So we're going to wrap thisno-transcript.
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