April 29, 2025 • 51 mins
You heard it here first: Laughter counts as a love language (and yes, meme exchanges totally qualify). In this episode, we’re getting real with Valerie Probstfeld—host of To Mom Is To Love—about parenting fails, Back to the Future obsessions, and why school safety shouldn’t be a political debate. And like always, you’ll feel like you’re hangin’ with your funniest mom friends.
—
Who Should Listen
- Moms who’ve ever escaped chaos by folding laundry
- Parents who thought they’d be “A+” at this (then met reality)
- Anyone who believes safe schools shouldn’t be controversial
—
What You Get In This Episode
- Laughter as Love: Why meme swaps and inside jokes are the glue of friendships (and parenting sanity).
- Humbling Parenting Moments: Like forgetting to mention that shots hurt to your kid…
- School Safety Without Politics: Actionable steps all sides can agree on (because kids deserve to come home).
- Nostalgia Wins: Why Back to the Future costumes and Smokey and the Bandit references are millennial parenting essentials.
- Valerie’s Wisdom: How to embrace being an “imperfect mom” (and why love is the only thing you can control).
—
Bios
Caitlin & Jenny: Current and former educators, current chaos wranglers, and co-hosts of How to Be a Grownup. We’ve survived tantrums (kid + adult), quarantine teaching, and DIY haircuts—all while proving laughter is the best coping mechanism.
—
Sources & Mentions
- Valerie’s podcast: To Mom Is To Love
- School safety episode: Take Action for School Safety
- Meme accounts we love: @OpenlyGayAnimals, @iamthirtyaf
- Back to the Future trivia (for your next parenting costume crisis)
Tag us @CKandGKPodcast with your #WorstParentingWin—we’ve all got ‘em!
The best support is a rating and a share.
Love,
CK & GK
View our website at ckandgkpodcast.com. Find us on social media @ckandgkpodcast on
- Instagram
- Facebook
- TikTok
Thanks, y'all!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Caitlin Kindred (00:01):
Hey friends, a few weeks ago, jenny and I sat
down with Valerie Probstfeld,host of the To Mom Is To Love
podcast.
I had met Valerie throughGretchen Schozer, who's the
co-host of the quote stuff thatgoes on in our heads podcast,
and I absolutely loved Valerie'senergy, her positivity and,
importantly, her grace when itcomes to all things parenting.
(00:23):
Her mission with her podcast isto support, encourage and
empower each other as imperfectmoms.
Aren't we all to love as a verb?
In this episode we talked withValerie about our belief that
laughter is a love language,about managing our classrooms
with humor, back to the futurelove, how becoming a mom has
(00:45):
changed us and, of course, theimportant issue of school safety
, which you know we feel verystrongly about.
Jenny and I had a lot of funwith this interview and I hope
you enjoy listening.
Now on with the show.
Valerie Probstfeld (01:16):
Hello, I am so glad you're here.
Welcome to the To Mom Is ToLove podcast.
My name is Valerie Probstfeld.
I am a nurse practitioner aswell as an imperfect mom who
loves.
In fact, I thought I would bean A-plus mother before becoming
a mom.
However, as the years passed, Irealized love is the only thing
(01:38):
I can control.
We have more power as moms thanwe realize.
In five generations from now,you will have approximately 30
descendants, and the numberkeeps getting larger and larger.
Motherhood, in my opinion, isthe most important job in the
world.
Our mission at 2Mom is to loveis to support, encourage and
(02:00):
empower each other as imperfectmoms.
To love as a verb.
Come join us as we navigate ourshared name, live our verb and
rediscover our identity.
Please subscribe, share andfollow, and I would love it if
you leave a review so more momscan come join us.
You can find me on Instagram,Facebook, LinkedIn, as well as
(02:24):
TikTok and YouTube.
Please follow along with us onthis beautiful journey we call
motherhood.
I am thrilled to have Caitlinand Jenny on the show with me
today.
They are best friends andeducators, and they love to put
(02:45):
their teaching skills to gooduse by discussing topics that
adults want to know more aboutbut feel like they can't ask.
They are all about giving theirlisteners practical tips that
grown-ups need to live theirbest grown-up lives.
And Caitlin and Jenny.
They live in Austin, Texas,where I used to live as well,
and are moms themselves.
(03:05):
I just love listening andlearning to their podcast, with
plenty of laughs as well ashelpful information where I feel
like I'm talking to fellow momfriends.
So I know you guys are going tolove listening to them as well,
and thank you so much for beingon the show today, Caitlin and
Jenny.
It's an absolute pleasure.
Jenny GK (03:24):
Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
Caitlin Kindred (03:25):
Thanks for having us.
Yeah, I'm so happy to be here.
I've been listening to you fora while and so it's truly just
so much fun.
I'm Caitlin.
I am a middle school teacherturned marketer.
I met Jenny when I was subbingfor her at the middle school
that she's now an assistantprincipal at, and we kind of
(03:45):
just sort of hit it off in thefirst like four minutes of our
exchange.
Like I didn't even know thiswoman's name and I was like I
need to meet and talk to thisperson.
I'm a mom to an eight-year-oldHis name's Sam and I'm a wife to
a pretty awesome dude whosename is Bryce.
We've been together for 20years.
We were babies, we were 20 whenwe got together, so we've been
(04:07):
together that whole time.
Jenny GK (04:09):
I'm Jenny.
I have two children, a13-year-old and a six-year-old,
girl and boy.
I am also married to a rockstar.
He thinks he's one.
Even when we were looking for anew house for our family, I was
like okay, but you need to havea room for your music with the
(04:29):
door.
And padded walls.
I'm an assistant principal, so,caitlin, I fell in love with
her when she sent me an email asa substitute and said and I'm a
nursing mom, so I'll need aplace with a locked door and
electricity.
And I was just like, yes, lady,get it.
(04:50):
It's called advocating foryourself.
Yes, okay, this is my person.
And so then I bullied her intogetting a full-time job and I
said, yeah, I know you've beensubbing while you had the baby,
but it's time for you to go backto work full time and work with
me.
Um, and so the next year wewere on the same team together
and, um, during the shutdown, wedid the uh, jim and pam thing
(05:17):
and had an earbud in all daylong, talking to each other
while we were doing our lives oh, or like.
Caitlin Kindred (05:24):
Okay, I really do have to concentrate.
I'll call you after this classis over, but it was when we were
initially quarantine teaching.
It was like all asynchronous,right?
So you would like plan yourlessons and come up with all
this stuff and we would betalking to each other while
trying to work.
And I don't know, I have ADHD.
I can't do more than one thingat a time.
Well, let's, well, but whatever, um, and I'd be like Jen, I
(05:46):
gotta, I gotta go.
And then it would turn intolike us on the phone for three
hours while I'm cleaning toilets, doing laundry and doing all
this stuff around the house,probably not working on grading
the stuff that needed to begraded, um, and it was just fun,
like we just had fun on thephone, and that was a time when
nobody was having fun, right?
No, quarantine sucked.
(06:08):
It was horrible.
Jenny GK (06:09):
And for us to have that tiger King movie.
Caitlin Kindred (06:12):
That was pretty good, that was pretty amazing
gonna finish that line becausethat's inappropriate, um, but we
just we figured, if we werehaving this much fun in a time
when it nothing was fun, whywouldn't other people enjoy
(06:33):
having fun with us?
And again, I was like cleaningtoilets and I'd be like Jen, did
you know you can take the seatoff of the toilet and it's not
hard and you can clean underthat?
Did you know that?
Yes, like you can use a quarterand like, unscrew it and it'll
pop right off and and you canclean under that.
Did you know that?
Yes, like you can use a quarterand like, unscrew it and it'll
pop right off and then you canclean all the boy stuff out from
it.
And we'd be like, oh my god,did you know that?
I did not know that?
(06:53):
And we were just teaching eachother adult grown-up things that
were so helpful.
And I was like why didn'tanyone tell me how to do this?
And that's really kind of whereit came from.
And then then the name isbecause, like CK and GK came
from, jenny and I would planfield trips together because we
both were teaching seventh gradeand I was teaching Texas
(07:14):
history, which means they haveto take the obligatory trip to
the Alamo and but she was like,okay, well, you do that, and
then I'll go with you and we'lltake the kids to the Wynn Museum
afterward and it'll be a fullday of learning.
But it'll just be a big fieldtrip, because why go to San
Antonio for two hours?
Like that's just not realisticwhen you live in Austin.
So then I had to send out aninvitation because we needed
(07:36):
chaperones and I was like, okay,she's known as GK, that's how
all the kids call her.
So the invitation was like hey,do you want to come?
And always comes from a place ofyes, right, like her intent is
to come from this place of beinghelpful.
(08:10):
And I was completely insane andI was like we're we should do
this.
It'd be so fun.
Do you listen to my favoritemurder?
It could be like that, only nottrue crime and gruesome and
horrible and famous or famous,right.
And, and she was.
She was like no, like we aredoing this, this, that I
remember her distinctly sayingno, like I just like changed
(08:33):
jobs and like my whole life isin chaos and I'm stuck at home
with my whole family.
We are doing this podcast.
It was like this is great andshe's.
I have to thank her for it,cause that place of yes is
really one of the things thatlets you know what kind of
person she is.
Jenny GK (08:48):
So it's a check-in for us, right?
Like we would easily say oh,I'm too busy, let's cancel,
let's meet for coffee next week,okay, and then next thing.
You know, it's been six monthssince we've seen each other.
But sitting down to record theshow, we chit chat beforehand,
we have a fun conversation onthe mic and then we have another
(09:09):
little closing afterwards andit's a chance for us to connect
and it's like a date that wemake.
Caitlin Kindred (09:14):
Absolutely, and we've both said this before.
But laughter is, I believe, oneof the love languages.
That is not mentioned in thatlove language book, right, like,
maybe it's included in qualitytime or whatever, but I don't.
I, I really think that it's acompletely missed way to connect
with other people.
And I, jenny and I, we mightnot talk for a couple of weeks
(09:35):
or I might send her like 15memes and not get an answer,
because that's one of my otherlove languages, of languages,
but she will come back on, we'llbe together and we will laugh
together and it is an instantreconnection, and so I think
that is another piece of thisbecause I don't get to see her.
I don't work with her anymore,so having this dedicated time to
(09:57):
laugh with her is self-care formyself and self-care, I think,
for the both of us.
Valerie Probstfeld (10:04):
Because you mentioned memes, what's your
favorite meme?
Caitlin Kindred (10:07):
I will send everything from like a sweet
little kitten being like this iswhat I look like when you don't
answer me to the raunchiest,most inappropriate, because they
just make me laugh.
I don't know if I have afavorite meme, but I do really
love certain meme accounts.
Meme, but I do really lovecertain meme accounts.
Openly Gay Animals is a veryfun one, very hilarious and not
(10:34):
inappropriate, despite the namesounding like it could be.
It's just not, and I love the.
It's like 30 AF or somethinglike that.
It's something that's likegeared towards millennials.
So I don't know if I have afavorite meme.
I just have lots of accountsthat I really, really love.
That's great.
Jenny GK (10:48):
Yesterday I was in a conversation where I referenced
both Smokey and the Bandit andWhite Christmas.
Valerie Probstfeld (10:55):
Okay, and people didn't know what you were
talking about.
Jenny GK (10:58):
But I said, oh well, my husband wants to road trip
across the country like Smokeyand the Bandit.
And one guy in the conversationgot it and he said, oh well, he
probably needs more than aminivan for beer, he probably
needs a semi.
So he made the joke and then Isaid, yeah, well, he's gonna go
to Vermont and not a lot ofpeople go in Vermont uh, go to
Vermont in the winter, exceptthe Haynes sisters and the same
(11:18):
guy caught the reference.
But the other people in theroom were like what are you
talking about?
Caitlin Kindred (11:23):
it's like I'm sorry guys because you're gen x,
you're a millennial in thewrong generation.
Jenny GK (11:28):
I was just born at the wrong time because I thought
everybody knows the Haynessisters go to Pine Tree Vermont
for Christmas.
But thank goodness this otherguy was in the conversation so
that I didn't look a hundred soyou saved he saved your jokes is
really what he was doing.
Caitlin Kindred (11:51):
We're elder, the geriatric millennials as my
mother likes to call us but ummy, I believe she's Gen X
because she was an army kid, andso the only things that she saw
on the base were like mash andlike shows like that designing
women like this woman grew up ondesigning women and mash.
Jenny GK (12:03):
Yeah, I lived outside the country country when before
the internet and really like assatellite tv was just becoming
popular, so we had, when we wereum, living in a non-english
speaking country, we had one tvchannel that was english and it
was run by the base and they hadto meet everyone's needs.
(12:23):
It's the same thing with theradio, like there would be an
hour of country and then there'dbe an hour of rap and like.
So the TV, like in the middleof the afternoon, is Saturday
Live.
Valerie Probstfeld (12:31):
I love how you have such a variety too of
your episodes how to handleheated political conversations
at family gatherings, toaddressing student teacher
concerns or just new friendshipsas an adult and I love how,
like they're all really relevantand you handle them with such
grace and also like just suchhumor and great information too.
Jenny GK (12:54):
Thanks.
I mean thank you.
Caitlin Kindred (12:55):
It's kind of what comes up in our lives right
, yeah, I wish someone hadtaught me how to do these things
.
And it's hard because I'mcoming from a place of being a
public educator and I'm likethese are skills that I really
wanted to teach and didn't.
And is that a failure of thepublic education?
And the answer is no, right,because you, you just have to
(13:18):
encounter things as you getolder.
But, um, we're teachers atheart.
It's our it's in our nature tohelp other people.
Um, we're teachers at heart.
It's our, it's in our nature tohelp other people.
Um, the aha moment is one ofthe best things in the world,
right, johnny can speak to thattoo.
It's like you teach a kidsomething and they're like oh,
you just had this littleepiphany and it's the best
(13:39):
feeling in the world to help akid have that moment.
But I think adults need thosemoments too, right?
So if I can help someone with atopic that they're struggling
with, that just feels reallygood, right, like why not?
Jenny GK (13:54):
Well, and like I've said on the show before,
downward social comparison, atleast you're not me Like.
I made the mistake.
I learned it the hard way.
Let me at least help you out alittle bit.
Caitlin Kindred (14:05):
So yeah, and I mean I also full disclosure I
steal a lot of ideas from placeswhere I'm like this is genius.
I read this article.
It's amazing.
Let's share it Right With all22 of them and like a lot of it
(14:27):
is like something we'llobviously put our own stink on
because of our own experiences,but, like, there's some great
ideas on, like Reddit and youknow, e-magazines that I will
totally just beg, borrow, stealfrom, because people have genius
ideas that need to be shared inother ways.
So you know, there's there's alot to draw from and there's a
(14:49):
lot of issues that moms inparticular are dealing with
right.
That's why our topics can be sovaried, because moms are
responsible for everything, like, why not, and why not try to
help as many of those issues aspossible?
Valerie Probstfeld (15:06):
What do you enjoy most about teaching?
Jenny GK (15:08):
I always wanted to be a teacher.
Well, I wanted to be a teachersince I was in middle school.
In elementary school I reallywanted to be a cartoonist.
And God bless my parentsbecause they fed into that and
they got me all the books andset me up at a desk so I could
draw cartoons.
And they knew that this is aface.
She's not actually gonna wantto draw comics, oh bless.
(15:33):
But.
But I thought I was gonna bethe next Charles Schultz, right?
Um, didn't happen.
So, um, the thing that floatedfor me was what do I want to
teach?
For a while it was music, andthen I realized I wasn't
actually that talented in music,which is why they put me on the
podium as a drum major.
Caitlin Kindred (15:54):
They were like get that horn out of her mouth
she cannot play a note, but thatgirl can conduct like none
other man.
Jenny GK (16:03):
Let me tell you what she's got a really loud voice.
She can, she can count out loudfor the kids, like get her up
there well, the drum major,that's a big deal.
Valerie Probstfeld (16:11):
That's like you're on she's she's the
ultimate band nerd.
Jenny GK (16:14):
Yeah, oh yeah, queen of the banners um, but I was
like, okay, if I'm not talentedenough to like play music, I'm
probably not good enough toteach it.
So, um, then I was likevacillating between math and
science, and my really goodfriend's dad was a math teacher
and I was like, hey, you know,I'm trying to decide should I
(16:38):
study science or math?
The thing is, science is alwayschanging, there's new
discoveries, and I feel likemath isn't always like that.
He goes oh no, no, no, no, no.
The way that we multiplymatrices now is very different
than how I did it in the 70s.
I was like Okay, science.
Caitlin Kindred (16:53):
Stop.
That is the most boringstatement I've ever heard.
Jenny GK (16:58):
But I love math and because of a confidence issue,
you know, I was like oh, I don'tknow if I can pass the biology
exam.
I want to, I want to trysomething.
So I took the math test firstbecause I knew I could kill it.
And I did, because it's middleschool math and I do love math,
and I was able to pass it noproblem.
(17:18):
And that built me enoughconfidence to go through and get
my certificate in all the othercore subjects as well as
special education, and so myfirst positions were in science
and special ed and over theyears math got added to the pile
.
I've spent time teachingteachers how to teach math and
(17:42):
now I have the opportunity towork with kids and adults in a
completely different way as aprincipal.
But the thing that keeps mecoming back, like Caitlin said,
are the stories.
These kids are hilarious.
Caitlin Kindred (17:55):
They're the best.
They're the best, I think.
I mean I talked about the ahamoment.
Like to be clear, teachers livefor the aha moment.
I remember distinctly I wasteaching Texas history and we
talked about Sam Houston, whichkids understand that connection
between Houston and Sam Houston.
What they don't understand isthat the next president here I'm
(18:17):
going to nerd out a little bitthe second president of Texas
was a man whose last name isLamar, and we live on an area
close to Lamar Boulevard and thekids were like, wait, lamar?
And I was like uh-huh, uh-huh,and I'm like, wait for it, wait
for it.
And they're like, just like thestreet.
And I was like, yes, children,just like the street.
(18:42):
And they're like and the school?
And I was like, yes, and justlike the street.
And they're like, and this, theschool?
And I was like, yes, and justlike the school, lamar middle
school on Lamar boulevard.
Yes, they are both named forpresident Lamar and they don't
the amazing, like it's somethingthat little where you used to
see them go, oh my gosh, andthey just love it so much it's.
You live for that as a teacher,right?
(19:04):
But now I also have this storyof my, of my students being like
are you kidding me?
And like the hilarious momentof them coming to the
realization of what thatconnection actually is.
There was one time I had tothrow out my entire lesson
because a classroom full ofstudents did not know that a
(19:25):
chinchilla and a chimichangawere not the same thing.
I literally had to throw outthe entire lesson for the day
and I spent 45 minutes goingthrough all of the those words
that sound um.
I had to explain.
It wasn't a chich manga, it wasa chimichanga, it was a
(19:45):
chinchilla.
It somehow turned into maracas.
I had a conga line.
It was the most wild.
But those are the things youlive for like.
You live for stuff like thatbecause it's what makes the job
so fun.
And then you get to go to yourcolleagues and tell them this
kid just used the word moobs todescribe cows, udders what oh my
(20:11):
gosh and you and you get itbecause it's genius, of course,
but he's like but I don't knowwhat they're called moobs and I
was like say that again, yes,but yes, it makes sense.
Yeah, absolutely Because,because what on earth that's
what gets.
(20:31):
And then you go tell yourfriends who are also teachers,
who get, just how hard that jobis and you get to laugh about
that.
Oh yeah, and I'm not in theclassroom anymore, yeah.
Jenny GK (20:39):
Just this week, I have injured my knee.
Caitlin Kindred (20:42):
Wait, tell everyone how you injured your
knee.
Jenny GK (20:47):
Because this is my favorite part of the story.
I was delivering presents fromthe administrators to teachers
and I jumped into a teacher'sclassroom.
Mary Chris, oh, my knee made anoise when I landed it's not
funny, but I crashed up it'shilarious, I was jumping for joy
(21:07):
and landed in pain.
Only you would do that.
Valerie Probstfeld (21:09):
Only you would do that, and that's the
thing.
Jenny GK (21:10):
Is like everyone's laughing at me, but anyhow, yeah
.
So one of the kids asked mehe's like what do you think is
wrong with it?
And I'm explaining.
I said, well, I think mymeniscus is torn and that keeps
the bones from touching and soit's causing a little bit of
pain right now because I havebones touching bones and my knee
doesn't really want to bend theway it's supposed to.
(21:31):
This kid in empathy Okay, thiswas not a joke, he was being
serious.
13 year old boy oh, miss, Ithink that happened to my pinky.
Caitlin Kindred (21:46):
No, I have never laughed harder.
I've never laughed harder thanI did as a classroom teacher.
And it's even funnier whenthey're middle schoolers,
because when they're inelementary school you really
can't laugh at some of thethings they say, because it's
beyond inappropriate.
It's like you know, my mom saysthat when you go to jail, you
and you're like I'm sorry, wait,what, like, what are you
telling me?
But when the middle schoolersit's.
(22:12):
It's funnier with them becauseone they they are being genuine.
Most of the time they don'tknow they're being funny.
But the other piece of it isthere are kids who slowly start
to realize what just happened,and so they're all in on the
joke with you and they join inand it just it becomes this wave
of like realization across theroom where you're like yup, now
(22:33):
we're all getting the humor.
Jenny GK (22:33):
The kids are great, the kids are great, you can find
amazing, and it doesn't matterwhere.
You are Right, because I teachat a school right now that has
high tuition, but I have alsotaught at a school in an area
where everyone was getting lunch.
Kids are kids and they arefunny.
They are funny and they.
They love to laugh too.
Valerie Probstfeld (22:54):
No, I need to say something because it's
not at all relevant to anything,but I feel like I need to
because Sounds like our show.
Yes, yes.
So when I lived in Texas, Imoved from the Chicago area.
I'm originally from the Chicagoarea, now I'm back in the
Chicago area.
But I lived in Texas for awhile, in Austin and in Dallas.
But when I was in Austin Ineeded to change my car license
(23:15):
plate to a Texas license plateand, uh, the guy was dating at
the time which he ended up beingmy husband later on.
He said because he's from Texas.
He was like oh, when you get aTexas license plate, they give
you a cowboy hat.
And I, I didn't know, I lovehim and so once I got it, I'm
(23:42):
fully expecting them to give mea cowboy hat.
They didn't give it to me.
So if anyone has any influence,I really feel like that would
be a good thing to do that isamazing.
Jenny GK (23:58):
I walked up the stairs and you know, hobbled up the
stairs and you know, hobbled upthe stairs this week carrying a
drone.
Oh wow, the robotics class hadordered.
Oh okay, and it's in the box.
It says drone on it.
It's very clear that that'swhat I'm carrying.
And one of the kids says MissGK, why have a drone?
(24:19):
I said, well, you know, with myknee like this, it's really
hard for me to walk around.
So I thought I would justobserve your classes by flying
the drone around.
Stop, oh my God.
And this quartet of young womenlook at me like that's really
creepy.
Don't do that.
Caitlin Kindred (24:35):
I was like I'm kidding, I'm delivering this to
robotics Like it's like guys,you really think I just sit at
my desk like fly a drone around,like how annoying would that be
to those teachers that hate youand the kids would behave
because they know I'm comingright, yeah, exactly that's so
(24:59):
good, yeah, I tell them all thetime look, I've taught middle
school longer than you've beenalive, Right?
Jenny GK (25:04):
And so I have become sadly like this is something I
can put on my resume the masterof the deadpan, Like I can do
the joke in my serious voice.
So they literally believed methat this was going to happen.
I was like no guys, come on,You've known me for a while.
Do you really think I'm goingto fly a drone around?
(25:25):
Right?
I don't even know how to usethe remote.
Can we just please?
I'm just bringing this to therobotics class.
Valerie Probstfeld (25:33):
He loves drones, but and I used it for a
Halloween costume because I likegot back to the future and but
uh, I couldn't find like aJennifer Parker outfit.
Caitlin Kindred (25:43):
Oh my gosh, you're speaking.
Jenny's language right now.
Jenny GK (25:46):
It's my favorite movie of all time.
I may or may not have made myhusband dress up on two
occasions to go see it in thetheater.
The gender what you need forthe Jennifer Parker outfit is
the floral jeans.
Once you get those, you'venailed it.
Valerie Probstfeld (26:00):
That is so true.
Well, and I didn't have that,so I felt like it wasn't working
.
I'm like I'm just not pullingoff Jennifer Parker in the way
that I feel like she needs to berepresented.
Jenny GK (26:15):
I'm thinking of set brothers like it's okay that my
mask isn't movie quality like somerit.
Valerie Probstfeld (26:26):
He like got um, you know, like a red vest
for marty.
Jenny GK (26:29):
So I just right, right , right yeah.
Valerie Probstfeld (26:31):
So I mean that's easy, I'm just gonna be
doc, bro, like I'm just gonna dothat.
I have a lab coat put that onand then I'm like I don't have
anything like for the, the carlike with the whole thing.
So I took the drone remotecontrol, perfect done.
My son was like what are youdoing?
Caitlin Kindred (26:49):
you would have blown doc brown's mind with that
drone.
Valerie Probstfeld (26:52):
I would love to hear becoming a mom has
changed you or like, what haveyou learned since becoming a mom
?
Caitlin Kindred (27:00):
I mean, oh, this is hard.
It's going to sound a little,um, uh, selfish.
Maybe not selfish.
Um, I'm going to talk aboutmyself here.
Uh, in a lot of ways, becominga parent has made me very
anxious.
Um, I worry about things I didnot ever know that I would worry
about.
Right, they talk about thatwhole.
(27:20):
Um, having a child is likehaving your heart outside of
your body.
There is that very real feelingof anxiety that comes with it.
There's so much outside of mycontrol, which is not how I like
things.
I have my own anxiety as it is,and I feel better when I can
control things.
That's why I like to be the onewho drives places.
(27:41):
It's because I know.
I know that I'm not dependingon anyone else for any other
thing.
So, um, in other ways, it's mademe hyper aware of my own other
emotions, um, of my own behavior, how my behavior has a direct
impact on other people, becauseI'm watching like my stress
(28:02):
level go up and my child becomemore anxious, or I'm watching
myself laugh about something andmy child relax and have fun.
It's a weird thing, but it'smade me very hyper aware of
myself and how I conduct myselfaround anyone, because everyone
(28:23):
is absorbing your behavior and Ithink when I was teaching it
would have been an interesting Ididn't stay in teaching long
enough to watch my son get olderand older and older at the same
time, but I think I would havebecome even more aware of that
as time had gone on with the waythat I was engaging with
students.
(28:44):
It's made me more empatheticoverall In terms of like, both
in how I relate to other parentsand how I relate to my child,
and you know it's a.
It's a weird thing and I thinkI've said this to Jenny I'm sure
I have before but I also, like,am more empathetic for moms in
(29:06):
general, because I think when Iwas in the hospital after I just
had my son one of my nurses Godbless her, she was the best
person on the planet.
Especially in that moment.
You just need someone who reallycares about you.
She goes how are you doing mama?
Because the baby is the candybar, the mommy is the wrapper,
(29:27):
and once the baby comes out,nobody cares about the mommy
anymore, right?
Nobody's there to see mama,everyone's there to see baby.
And there are people who arethere to see mama, right,
usually, like mama's parents arethere to see mama, right, but
people aren't concerned aboutthe mom anymore.
They're concerned about thebaby and I really try to make
sure that when I'm havingempathy, yes, it's about the
(29:51):
child, but I really want todirect it at that mom because
she needs it more than the childdoes.
That child will be fine.
There's.
Everyone else is looking outfor that child.
Child will be fine.
There's, everyone else islooking out for that child.
Someone has to look out for momand I think that's really where
it's changed me the most isjust being hyper aware of moms
(30:13):
and being extra empathetic tothem and their needs.
That's beautiful.
Thank you, it's, it's how I,it's genuine, it's what I really
believe.
It was such a profoundstatement.
It was an aha moment for me tohave her say you know, because
baby is the candy bar, the mommyis the rapper what?
Jenny GK (30:34):
But it's so true.
I had a similar moment with anurse.
I was pregnant with my secondand I was in a car accident.
May or may not have caused itmyself no big deal, and I am,
but it is.
It is funny because I'm on mythird Subaru since I met my
husband 10 years ago.
Anyway, I'm at L&D gettingchecked out, everything's fine.
(30:57):
It was a minor accident, it justmessed up the car and it needed
to be checked out and the nursesaid to me you know, jen, if
you can fix it with money, it'snot really a problem.
Wow.
And to have a nurse, someone inthe medical profession, tell me
that.
It was like, yeah, you're right, you might not always have the
(31:19):
money, you might not even beable to get the money, but if
you can fix it with money, it'snot really a problem.
I was like, yeah, you're right,because there are problems out
there that you see every daythat money is not going to fix.
Valerie Probstfeld (31:31):
Money will never fix.
Jenny GK (31:32):
Yeah, wow, and you know, that's how I've been
getting through with this knee,like, hey, I can walk, I can
move around, and there that Ican walk, I can move around, and
there's going to be some kindof procedure that will fix it,
even if it's a total kneereplacement.
Oh, they do so, it's fine.
I'm worried, I don't know.
Knee replacement because I meanbecause I have already put that
(31:53):
in my mind, that like, even ifthat's what it was and it's not
going to be, but even if it waslike that's something that I can
do, yeah, that, yeah, okay.
So you know, if you can fix itwith money, it's not a big
problem.
We'll figure it out Now.
Becoming a mom has humbled me.
Oh, a hundred percent.
I have had a lot of things goeasy for me in my life.
(32:15):
I loved school.
I was good at it.
I wasn't so great at college,because you have to actually go
to class to learn there.
Valerie Probstfeld (32:23):
So that was the thing.
Jenny GK (32:25):
But once I was old enough to realize that was the
problem, that I wasn't likeactually doing what I was
supposed to do.
But, like a lot of things havegone easy for me.
I really enjoy teaching and youknow I'll pat myself on the
back, I think I'm good at itteaching, and you know I'll pat
(32:46):
myself on the back, I think I'mgood at it.
But being a mom is reallyreally hard and when you think
you're everything's going right,something comes up.
There's like oh wait, jen,let's check yourself.
Um, when Abby was four, Iprepped her for her well check.
I said you're gonna have to getshots at this appointment.
You can get them in your leg orin your arm.
There will be four shots.
(33:08):
They can do two in each leg orthey can do two in each arm.
I will sit with you while youget the shots and then at the
end you'll get a sticker andwe'll go out for ice cream and
she says okay, okay.
So at the appointment thetechnician says, okay, well,
it's time for immunizations.
I said, no, it's fine, sheknows that she's getting shots.
(33:28):
We can talk about it.
She's okay.
Well, I'm going to go get theneedles and we'll be back Abby
arms, her legs and she says legs.
So she lays down on the table.
I hold her legs.
I'm looking at her in the eye.
The nurse pulls out the shotsEverybody's fine.
She gives the shots Abby's eyesgiant dinner plates.
(33:48):
She looks at me.
I forgot to tell her that shotshurt.
Caitlin Kindred (33:56):
I was like I had done a great job, like oh,
I'm a stellar mom.
Jenny GK (33:58):
This nurse is like oh, wow, like I had done a great
job, like oh, I'm a stellar mom.
This nurse is like oh, wow,abby's okay with the shots, this
is great.
Like oops, Like a small pieceof information that I did not
provide.
Caitlin Kindred (34:10):
I was going to say, like your daughter is
exceptionally mature, so anyfour-year-old who's like, oh
yeah, okay, shots, no big deal.
It's not even remotelysurprising to me that she would
have done that.
But remotely surprising to methat she would have done that.
But now that I you take forgranted that we know shots hurt
but a four-year-old doesn't knowthat.
Valerie Probstfeld (34:29):
Oh, like there's things we do and we're
like oh, I wish I would havedone it this way, or whatever.
Yeah, it's like I wouldn't wanta perfect mom, though either.
You know, like then theywouldn't like understand life,
and like, when they realize it'snot perfect, then it's like oh
how do I deal?
Caitlin Kindred (34:50):
Yeah, I agree, I do struggle with the human
moment, and we've talked aboutthis on a different show.
But there is that moment whereyou realize, like your parents
are human right, like, oh, myparents are not perfect.
Oh, like they do somethingthat's like maybe it's hurtful
or unexpected, or it's just theyjust have a human moment that
shows that they're flawed people.
Um, and I think the differencebetween our generation of people
(35:12):
and other generations before usis that at this point, our
generation is now telling ourchild hey, that time when I
didn't tell you that shots hurt,yeah, that's on me, my bad, and
I messed that up because Ithink the human moment as an if
you have that human moment as anadult, it's really hard to come
to terms with.
(35:33):
And so, like being forthrightabout how you were humbled in
the process of parenting yourchild is really, really
important to share with otherpeople, but also with your own
child, when they're old enoughto understand that that's what
happened.
So I'm just going to piggybackthat on top of what Jenny's
saying is like, again, it goesback to that awareness, right,
(35:55):
like being hyper aware of theway my own behavior impacts
other people and apologizingwhen I am wrong.
Like you know, I wasoverstimulated.
I really could not handle youasking me to open that bottle of
sparkling water in that momentand I screamed my full head off
at you and I am really sorryabout that.
Here's why I did it and here'swhy it was wrong.
(36:16):
Can I open that for you now?
Just having that moment ofhumility is really really yeah,
and for me it's the second kid,right?
Jenny GK (36:26):
oh, oh, sorry you don't have a baby book.
Like no, no, no, like you havea ziploc bag full of stuff I
collected for a few months.
Caitlin Kindred (36:35):
I just found your baby bracelet inside my
jewelry box, my.
Valerie Probstfeld (36:41):
You guys, I really want to touch on a point
that I think is so important,and I would love for you guys
just to share with our listenersthe episode and how, and I'll
put it in the show notes as well.
But it's about school safety andI think this is a very
important topic and I think yourepisode is called Beyond
Thoughts and Prayers PracticalActions for School Safety.
(37:03):
Beyond Thoughts and PrayersPractical Actions for School
Safety.
I just I loved it.
It was so thoroughly researched.
It was just so helpful.
Can you share with us a bitabout that?
Caitlin Kindred (37:13):
I think that really, that episode truly came
from our own heartache.
Jenny GK (37:17):
Yeah, we have had to address that, or we have chosen
to address that on threeseparate occasions on our show.
Caitlin Kindred (37:25):
Yeah, there's this idea that I think as a
society we are especially in theStates we are becoming
(37:52):
desensitized to school violence.
That's probably true in themedia or generally.
Personally, it is not true.
It hurts a little bit moreevery single time.
For me, I really struggle tomove past it for a little bit
longer.
Every time it happens.
I have been in the orbits ofpeople who are personally
impacted.
At one point, one of my highschool classmates' sons
committed an act of violence ina school and ended up passing
(38:13):
away after that.
I work in ed tech marketing.
One of my clients is in theschool security space, is in the
school security space, and anemail I wrote may or may not
have been a trigger to allowthis person to purchase the
product that helped their schoolin a moment of crisis.
(38:35):
We are educators at heart.
We're both very empatheticpeople.
We come from a place of yes, wecome from wanting to help when
we can, and I think that thehelplessness that comes from
watching that happen really iswhere that came from.
I think the first one we didwas was that after you, valdi,
(38:57):
when we did that first one?
Jenny GK (38:58):
Okay, yeah, and so I'm really fortunate I teach work.
I guess I'm not a teacheranymore.
Yes, you are you teach adults,okay, but I'm in a school that
has a security entrance with anarmed officer at all times,
(39:22):
bulletproof glass that actuallyfell off the truck on the
delivery on the way over anddidn't break, wow um, and four
armed guards roaming theproperty at all times that
children are there, and when wehave a special event, we even
contract more officers to come.
(39:42):
Um, I'm, we're just, we'rereally really lucky, um, and I
know that, especially in privateschools, having to pay for
security is really challenging,and so, um, the recent events
that have happened in privateschools, it's because they don't
have the security that theyneed, and it is sad to say that
(40:06):
you need to have officers orother secure measures on your
campus.
For me, it really comes down toit doesn't matter what side of
the aisle you're on.
No one is in favor of childrenlosing their lives at school,
right, and you can believe whatyou want to believe about
(40:31):
legislation and ownership rightsand purchasing power and all of
those things, and still beagainst this.
Yes, and you know it's alreadybeen said we live in Texas and
there's no question where Texasstands on these types of issues.
But you can even carry andstill be in favor of school
(40:59):
safety and there's a lot ofthings that you can do and still
(41:29):
be a supporter of SecondAmendment rights as they're
defined now was the.
For me, the most important thingthat we did was make it more
than just a gun regulationconversation, because that shuts
down the conversation for 50 to60 percent of americans and and
I don't want um school safetyand kids lives to be tied to
someone feeling that they'reright, yeah, a political issue
and people feeling that theirrights yeah, a political issue
and people feeling that theirrights are infringed, because
we're talking about the rightsof children to live Right, and
(41:51):
so that to me, if you'relistening and you haven't heard
that episode, that's the thingI'm most proud of is that we
really did brainstorm andprovide actionable items for
people who are even interestedin furthering ownership rights,
because that should not get inthe way of keeping kids safe.
Caitlin Kindred (42:15):
Right, and the last couple of incidents, if I
am not mistaken, were related topeople who had purchased items
legally for children who shouldnot have had them, which means
that they are pro-gun ownership,and that's totally okay.
What's not okay is puttingthings in the hands of people
(42:39):
who can create violentsituations, and that's really.
Again, as Jenny said, she wasvery careful about that and my
stance is a little different andI don't need to go into that.
Jenny GK (42:48):
But oh, and you know politically that that that's a
completely different issue.
Right Like, right, it just is.
If I can have a voice on thatissue, it's not going to be the
common Texas belief, but that Idon't want that to get in the
way of my point.
Caitlin Kindred (43:06):
Right Like that's the issue, right, and
that exactly is the issue athand is is you know, there's a
reason we feel that way andthat's because we feel like,
because we are constantlydealing with these issues of
kids being put in unsafesituations.
That's where this place iscoming from.
That said, you don't have tofeel helpless, right like that.
(43:28):
You can be absolutelypro-second amendment, have as
many guns as you need in yourhouse and still be a responsible
gun owner who works andadvocates for student safety in
the classroom, teacher safety inthe classroom.
Those are things that you can.
(43:50):
They can coexist, and I thinkthat right now we're in this
space of black and white right.
Morality is this yes, there are, there is right and wrong, but
right now, we need to thinkbeyond black and white and look
at shades of gray and find, finda way to have these things
coexist, because things cancoexist.
Two things can be true at thesame time you can be a
(44:11):
responsible gun owner, who alsopart of school safety and and
addressing that.
Everyone has these differentbeliefs, but there is one thing
(44:32):
that we all come together on andthat is that we want our
children to come home the endright we should all be able to
agree on that.
And if, if that's somethingthat you can't agree on, then
clearly that episode's not foryou and that's fine.
You don't have to listen, don't?
The people who, by the way I'mjust going to put this out there
the people who give one starratings to podcasts?
Did you know you can turn thatpodcast off?
(44:54):
Just saying, just saying youcan do that.
The same applies here, butthat's why we know that people
could have turned our podcastoff, that people could have
turned our podcast off.
Valerie Probstfeld (45:05):
So we didn't want to turn anyone away from
the message, because the messageis too important to politicize,
I think, and I'm so proud ofyou guys for for having that
conversation, cause it issomething that, like, I'm to the
point now that when I, you know, like when I send my kids to
school and I hear an ambulance,I think, oh, instant freak out
yeah.
(45:26):
And if that is in society, wherethat's the first thing that
comes to our mind when we hearthat it's like this conversation
and it needs to have like and Ifeel like that episode is
putting I talk a lot about likeripple effects and in our ponds,
like we need to be thosepebbles putting that, putting
that conversation, putting theseactionable steps to create
(45:48):
ripple effects into for all ofus to understand those shades of
gray.
Caitlin Kindred (45:53):
Yeah, I also.
Just I have to say the factthat you you just said, if I
hear an ambulance, I instantlygo to that place, to me right
there, that's proof that we arenot desensit.
That's proof that we are notdesensitized to this
conversation, we are notdesensitized to these acts of
violence, and so that rippleeffect does become even more
important.
(46:13):
More and more people need tohear messages that they're
willing to listen to, becauseit's not a politicized message,
it is a message of what is rightand wrong, and what is right is
kids going home to theirparents at the end of the school
day.
So, yeah, that is a hugecompliment, because it does come
from such a deeply emotionalplace to make that episode.
(46:33):
So, thank you.
And if you haven't heard it,there are actual action steps
you can take that exist withinthat episode, and I would highly
recommend it.
Ones I'm honestly most proud of.
Like, I'm proud of a fewepisodes.
There's the ones that we, welaugh a lot together.
Those are always great, but theones that are like that, you
(46:54):
know, I think that's even moreimportant.
So Absolutely.
Valerie Probstfeld (46:59):
Kaelin and Jenny.
I feel like I can talk with youguys all day.
I need to share with ourlisteners where they can find
you, where they can follow you.
Jenny GK (47:07):
You can find us anywhere you pod.
We're fancy, we're on Apple andwe're on Spotify and you know,
if you happen to be one of theseindie podcasters, we're on good
pods, but we're we're mostactive on Instagram and Caitlin
(47:30):
manages that for us.
She's up there all the time, soif you want to reach out,
she'll be quick on the fly andbe able to respond to any
messages that you send.
And we also have a websitewhere you can find all of our
episodes, as well as our blog.
Again, thanks Caitlin, becauseshe manages all of that, yeah we
(47:52):
.
Caitlin Kindred (47:52):
I was quick to get on the handle that we wanted
, so it's CK and GK podcast withthe word and in between, and
that's our website too.
So CK and GK podcast dot com.
I send out emails.
If you want to be an emailsubscriber to get reminded about
episodes, or you just want toperuse our website, all of that
is available.
(48:13):
Sometimes we even recommendlike the products that we love.
On our show there's like awhole page of like, just the
stuff we were like this isreally cool.
Every people, everybody shouldbuy this, and we don't get paid
for that.
We're just putting it out therebecause we like it, so you can
find us in all the places.
We could get paid for it.
We could, I just haven't.
Jenny GK (48:29):
We're open to accepting that.
Let me just go on the record.
Caitlin Kindred (48:33):
Right Anyone who would like to sponsor, if
anyone happens to be listeningfrom that airplane pocket
backseat thing.
Jenny GK (48:39):
Yeah, we're big fun.
Caitlin Kindred (48:41):
Yeah yeah, skymall, do you need ambassadors
?
I love the stuff in thatcatalog.
Anyone, we're big fun.
I hope that that message camethrough here.
I just want to say thank youfor having us.
I believe that our listenersprobably overlap in some way,
but also that any chance we haveto get out and share our
(49:03):
message and hopefully have otherpeople have some fun at the
same time, it's really a bigdeal.
So thank you so much for havingus on the show.
Jenny GK (49:11):
Shout out to your dentist.
Valerie Probstfeld (49:13):
Yes, I just talked to my dentist yesterday.
I was telling Caitlin and Jennyshe was asking about mom
podcasts and like, oh, I do apodcast and I'm actually talking
with these podcasters tomorrowwho are amazing.
So that's so important for uspodcasters.
I think that you know, if youresonate with what you're
hearing, please share it.
Caitlin Kindred (49:33):
Please.
It helps so much, it's sohelpful.
Valerie Probstfeld (49:38):
And that's what I love about what you guys
are doing too is you arecreating, you're making a
difference, and I think the moreus moms, us people in this
world join hands to make adifference is so important.
So continue spreading thatmessage, continue doing what
you're doing.
You're doing incredible work.
Thank you so much for all ofthe love, the passion, the
(50:01):
advocacy and the laughter.
Caitlin Kindred (50:03):
I mean best compliment ever.
Thank you so much.
I feel similarly about yourshow.
I think that it comes from sucha place of kindness and empathy
and I love listening to whatyou have to say and what your
guests have to say.
It's great.
So thank you, that's a reallybig compliment.
Valerie Probstfeld (50:22):
Kindred spirits.
I love it yes.
Caitlin Kindred (50:25):
See, works, it works Bye, bye.
Hey friends, a few weeks ago, jenny and I sat
down with Valerie Probstfeld,host of the To Mom Is To Love
podcast.
I had met Valerie throughGretchen Schozer, who's the
co-host of the quote stuff thatgoes on in our heads podcast,
and I absolutely loved Valerie'senergy, her positivity and,
importantly, her grace when itcomes to all things parenting.
(00:23):
Her mission with her podcast isto support, encourage and
empower each other as imperfectmoms.
Aren't we all to love as a verb?
In this episode we talked withValerie about our belief that
laughter is a love language,about managing our classrooms
with humor, back to the futurelove, how becoming a mom has
(00:45):
changed us and, of course, theimportant issue of school safety
, which you know we feel verystrongly about.
Jenny and I had a lot of funwith this interview and I hope
you enjoy listening.
Now on with the show.
Valerie Probstfeld (01:16):
Hello, I am so glad you're here.
Welcome to the To Mom Is ToLove podcast.
My name is Valerie Probstfeld.
I am a nurse practitioner aswell as an imperfect mom who
loves.
In fact, I thought I would bean A-plus mother before becoming
a mom.
However, as the years passed, Irealized love is the only thing
(01:38):
I can control.
We have more power as moms thanwe realize.
In five generations from now,you will have approximately 30
descendants, and the numberkeeps getting larger and larger.
Motherhood, in my opinion, isthe most important job in the
world.
Our mission at 2Mom is to loveis to support, encourage and
(02:00):
empower each other as imperfectmoms.
To love as a verb.
Come join us as we navigate ourshared name, live our verb and
rediscover our identity.
Please subscribe, share andfollow, and I would love it if
you leave a review so more momscan come join us.
You can find me on Instagram,Facebook, LinkedIn, as well as
(02:24):
TikTok and YouTube.
Please follow along with us onthis beautiful journey we call
motherhood.
I am thrilled to have Caitlinand Jenny on the show with me
today.
They are best friends andeducators, and they love to put
(02:45):
their teaching skills to gooduse by discussing topics that
adults want to know more aboutbut feel like they can't ask.
They are all about giving theirlisteners practical tips that
grown-ups need to live theirbest grown-up lives.
And Caitlin and Jenny.
They live in Austin, Texas,where I used to live as well,
and are moms themselves.
(03:05):
I just love listening andlearning to their podcast, with
plenty of laughs as well ashelpful information where I feel
like I'm talking to fellow momfriends.
So I know you guys are going tolove listening to them as well,
and thank you so much for beingon the show today, Caitlin and
Jenny.
It's an absolute pleasure.
Jenny GK (03:24):
Oh my gosh, I'm so excited.
Caitlin Kindred (03:25):
Thanks for having us.
Yeah, I'm so happy to be here.
I've been listening to you fora while and so it's truly just
so much fun.
I'm Caitlin.
I am a middle school teacherturned marketer.
I met Jenny when I was subbingfor her at the middle school
that she's now an assistantprincipal at, and we kind of
(03:45):
just sort of hit it off in thefirst like four minutes of our
exchange.
Like I didn't even know thiswoman's name and I was like I
need to meet and talk to thisperson.
I'm a mom to an eight-year-oldHis name's Sam and I'm a wife to
a pretty awesome dude whosename is Bryce.
We've been together for 20years.
We were babies, we were 20 whenwe got together, so we've been
(04:07):
together that whole time.
Jenny GK (04:09):
I'm Jenny.
I have two children, a13-year-old and a six-year-old,
girl and boy.
I am also married to a rockstar.
He thinks he's one.
Even when we were looking for anew house for our family, I was
like okay, but you need to havea room for your music with the
(04:29):
door.
And padded walls.
I'm an assistant principal, so,caitlin, I fell in love with
her when she sent me an email asa substitute and said and I'm a
nursing mom, so I'll need aplace with a locked door and
electricity.
And I was just like, yes, lady,get it.
(04:50):
It's called advocating foryourself.
Yes, okay, this is my person.
And so then I bullied her intogetting a full-time job and I
said, yeah, I know you've beensubbing while you had the baby,
but it's time for you to go backto work full time and work with
me.
Um, and so the next year wewere on the same team together
and, um, during the shutdown, wedid the uh, jim and pam thing
(05:17):
and had an earbud in all daylong, talking to each other
while we were doing our lives oh, or like.
Caitlin Kindred (05:24):
Okay, I really do have to concentrate.
I'll call you after this classis over, but it was when we were
initially quarantine teaching.
It was like all asynchronous,right?
So you would like plan yourlessons and come up with all
this stuff and we would betalking to each other while
trying to work.
And I don't know, I have ADHD.
I can't do more than one thingat a time.
Well, let's, well, but whatever, um, and I'd be like Jen, I
(05:46):
gotta, I gotta go.
And then it would turn intolike us on the phone for three
hours while I'm cleaning toilets, doing laundry and doing all
this stuff around the house,probably not working on grading
the stuff that needed to begraded, um, and it was just fun,
like we just had fun on thephone, and that was a time when
nobody was having fun, right?
No, quarantine sucked.
(06:08):
It was horrible.
Jenny GK (06:09):
And for us to have that tiger King movie.
Caitlin Kindred (06:12):
That was pretty good, that was pretty amazing
gonna finish that line becausethat's inappropriate, um, but we
just we figured, if we werehaving this much fun in a time
when it nothing was fun, whywouldn't other people enjoy
(06:33):
having fun with us?
And again, I was like cleaningtoilets and I'd be like Jen, did
you know you can take the seatoff of the toilet and it's not
hard and you can clean underthat?
Did you know that?
Yes, like you can use a quarterand like, unscrew it and it'll
pop right off and and you canclean under that.
Did you know that?
Yes, like you can use a quarterand like, unscrew it and it'll
pop right off and then you canclean all the boy stuff out from
it.
And we'd be like, oh my god,did you know that?
I did not know that?
(06:53):
And we were just teaching eachother adult grown-up things that
were so helpful.
And I was like why didn'tanyone tell me how to do this?
And that's really kind of whereit came from.
And then then the name isbecause, like CK and GK came
from, jenny and I would planfield trips together because we
both were teaching seventh gradeand I was teaching Texas
(07:14):
history, which means they haveto take the obligatory trip to
the Alamo and but she was like,okay, well, you do that, and
then I'll go with you and we'lltake the kids to the Wynn Museum
afterward and it'll be a fullday of learning.
But it'll just be a big fieldtrip, because why go to San
Antonio for two hours?
Like that's just not realisticwhen you live in Austin.
So then I had to send out aninvitation because we needed
(07:36):
chaperones and I was like, okay,she's known as GK, that's how
all the kids call her.
So the invitation was like hey,do you want to come?
And always comes from a place ofyes, right, like her intent is
to come from this place of beinghelpful.
(08:10):
And I was completely insane andI was like we're we should do
this.
It'd be so fun.
Do you listen to my favoritemurder?
It could be like that, only nottrue crime and gruesome and
horrible and famous or famous,right.
And, and she was.
She was like no, like we aredoing this, this, that I
remember her distinctly sayingno, like I just like changed
(08:33):
jobs and like my whole life isin chaos and I'm stuck at home
with my whole family.
We are doing this podcast.
It was like this is great andshe's.
I have to thank her for it,cause that place of yes is
really one of the things thatlets you know what kind of
person she is.
Jenny GK (08:48):
So it's a check-in for us, right?
Like we would easily say oh,I'm too busy, let's cancel,
let's meet for coffee next week,okay, and then next thing.
You know, it's been six monthssince we've seen each other.
But sitting down to record theshow, we chit chat beforehand,
we have a fun conversation onthe mic and then we have another
(09:09):
little closing afterwards andit's a chance for us to connect
and it's like a date that wemake.
Caitlin Kindred (09:14):
Absolutely, and we've both said this before.
But laughter is, I believe, oneof the love languages.
That is not mentioned in thatlove language book, right, like,
maybe it's included in qualitytime or whatever, but I don't.
I, I really think that it's acompletely missed way to connect
with other people.
And I, jenny and I, we mightnot talk for a couple of weeks
(09:35):
or I might send her like 15memes and not get an answer,
because that's one of my otherlove languages, of languages,
but she will come back on, we'llbe together and we will laugh
together and it is an instantreconnection, and so I think
that is another piece of thisbecause I don't get to see her.
I don't work with her anymore,so having this dedicated time to
(09:57):
laugh with her is self-care formyself and self-care, I think,
for the both of us.
Valerie Probstfeld (10:04):
Because you mentioned memes, what's your
favorite meme?
Caitlin Kindred (10:07):
I will send everything from like a sweet
little kitten being like this iswhat I look like when you don't
answer me to the raunchiest,most inappropriate, because they
just make me laugh.
I don't know if I have afavorite meme, but I do really
love certain meme accounts.
Meme, but I do really lovecertain meme accounts.
Openly Gay Animals is a veryfun one, very hilarious and not
(10:34):
inappropriate, despite the namesounding like it could be.
It's just not, and I love the.
It's like 30 AF or somethinglike that.
It's something that's likegeared towards millennials.
So I don't know if I have afavorite meme.
I just have lots of accountsthat I really, really love.
That's great.
Jenny GK (10:48):
Yesterday I was in a conversation where I referenced
both Smokey and the Bandit andWhite Christmas.
Valerie Probstfeld (10:55):
Okay, and people didn't know what you were
talking about.
Jenny GK (10:58):
But I said, oh well, my husband wants to road trip
across the country like Smokeyand the Bandit.
And one guy in the conversationgot it and he said, oh well, he
probably needs more than aminivan for beer, he probably
needs a semi.
So he made the joke and then Isaid, yeah, well, he's gonna go
to Vermont and not a lot ofpeople go in Vermont uh, go to
Vermont in the winter, exceptthe Haynes sisters and the same
(11:18):
guy caught the reference.
But the other people in theroom were like what are you
talking about?
Caitlin Kindred (11:23):
it's like I'm sorry guys because you're gen x,
you're a millennial in thewrong generation.
Jenny GK (11:28):
I was just born at the wrong time because I thought
everybody knows the Haynessisters go to Pine Tree Vermont
for Christmas.
But thank goodness this otherguy was in the conversation so
that I didn't look a hundred soyou saved he saved your jokes is
really what he was doing.
Caitlin Kindred (11:51):
We're elder, the geriatric millennials as my
mother likes to call us but ummy, I believe she's Gen X
because she was an army kid, andso the only things that she saw
on the base were like mash andlike shows like that designing
women like this woman grew up ondesigning women and mash.
Jenny GK (12:03):
Yeah, I lived outside the country country when before
the internet and really like assatellite tv was just becoming
popular, so we had, when we wereum, living in a non-english
speaking country, we had one tvchannel that was english and it
was run by the base and they hadto meet everyone's needs.
(12:23):
It's the same thing with theradio, like there would be an
hour of country and then there'dbe an hour of rap and like.
So the TV, like in the middleof the afternoon, is Saturday
Live.
Valerie Probstfeld (12:31):
I love how you have such a variety too of
your episodes how to handleheated political conversations
at family gatherings, toaddressing student teacher
concerns or just new friendshipsas an adult and I love how,
like they're all really relevantand you handle them with such
grace and also like just suchhumor and great information too.
Jenny GK (12:54):
Thanks.
I mean thank you.
Caitlin Kindred (12:55):
It's kind of what comes up in our lives right
, yeah, I wish someone hadtaught me how to do these things
.
And it's hard because I'mcoming from a place of being a
public educator and I'm likethese are skills that I really
wanted to teach and didn't.
And is that a failure of thepublic education?
And the answer is no, right,because you, you just have to
(13:18):
encounter things as you getolder.
But, um, we're teachers atheart.
It's our it's in our nature tohelp other people.
Um, we're teachers at heart.
It's our, it's in our nature tohelp other people.
Um, the aha moment is one ofthe best things in the world,
right, johnny can speak to thattoo.
It's like you teach a kidsomething and they're like oh,
you just had this littleepiphany and it's the best
(13:39):
feeling in the world to help akid have that moment.
But I think adults need thosemoments too, right?
So if I can help someone with atopic that they're struggling
with, that just feels reallygood, right, like why not?
Jenny GK (13:54):
Well, and like I've said on the show before,
downward social comparison, atleast you're not me Like.
I made the mistake.
I learned it the hard way.
Let me at least help you out alittle bit.
Caitlin Kindred (14:05):
So yeah, and I mean I also full disclosure I
steal a lot of ideas from placeswhere I'm like this is genius.
I read this article.
It's amazing.
Let's share it Right With all22 of them and like a lot of it
(14:27):
is like something we'llobviously put our own stink on
because of our own experiences,but, like, there's some great
ideas on, like Reddit and youknow, e-magazines that I will
totally just beg, borrow, stealfrom, because people have genius
ideas that need to be shared inother ways.
So you know, there's there's alot to draw from and there's a
(14:49):
lot of issues that moms inparticular are dealing with
right.
That's why our topics can be sovaried, because moms are
responsible for everything, like, why not, and why not try to
help as many of those issues aspossible?
Valerie Probstfeld (15:06):
What do you enjoy most about teaching?
Jenny GK (15:08):
I always wanted to be a teacher.
Well, I wanted to be a teachersince I was in middle school.
In elementary school I reallywanted to be a cartoonist.
And God bless my parentsbecause they fed into that and
they got me all the books andset me up at a desk so I could
draw cartoons.
And they knew that this is aface.
She's not actually gonna wantto draw comics, oh bless.
(15:33):
But.
But I thought I was gonna bethe next Charles Schultz, right?
Um, didn't happen.
So, um, the thing that floatedfor me was what do I want to
teach?
For a while it was music, andthen I realized I wasn't
actually that talented in music,which is why they put me on the
podium as a drum major.
Caitlin Kindred (15:54):
They were like get that horn out of her mouth
she cannot play a note, but thatgirl can conduct like none
other man.
Jenny GK (16:03):
Let me tell you what she's got a really loud voice.
She can, she can count out loudfor the kids, like get her up
there well, the drum major,that's a big deal.
Valerie Probstfeld (16:11):
That's like you're on she's she's the
ultimate band nerd.
Jenny GK (16:14):
Yeah, oh yeah, queen of the banners um, but I was
like, okay, if I'm not talentedenough to like play music, I'm
probably not good enough toteach it.
So, um, then I was likevacillating between math and
science, and my really goodfriend's dad was a math teacher
and I was like, hey, you know,I'm trying to decide should I
(16:38):
study science or math?
The thing is, science is alwayschanging, there's new
discoveries, and I feel likemath isn't always like that.
He goes oh no, no, no, no, no.
The way that we multiplymatrices now is very different
than how I did it in the 70s.
I was like Okay, science.
Caitlin Kindred (16:53):
Stop.
That is the most boringstatement I've ever heard.
Jenny GK (16:58):
But I love math and because of a confidence issue,
you know, I was like oh, I don'tknow if I can pass the biology
exam.
I want to, I want to trysomething.
So I took the math test firstbecause I knew I could kill it.
And I did, because it's middleschool math and I do love math,
and I was able to pass it noproblem.
(17:18):
And that built me enoughconfidence to go through and get
my certificate in all the othercore subjects as well as
special education, and so myfirst positions were in science
and special ed and over theyears math got added to the pile
.
I've spent time teachingteachers how to teach math and
(17:42):
now I have the opportunity towork with kids and adults in a
completely different way as aprincipal.
But the thing that keeps mecoming back, like Caitlin said,
are the stories.
These kids are hilarious.
Caitlin Kindred (17:55):
They're the best.
They're the best, I think.
I mean I talked about the ahamoment.
Like to be clear, teachers livefor the aha moment.
I remember distinctly I wasteaching Texas history and we
talked about Sam Houston, whichkids understand that connection
between Houston and Sam Houston.
What they don't understand isthat the next president here I'm
(18:17):
going to nerd out a little bitthe second president of Texas
was a man whose last name isLamar, and we live on an area
close to Lamar Boulevard and thekids were like, wait, lamar?
And I was like uh-huh, uh-huh,and I'm like, wait for it, wait
for it.
And they're like, just like thestreet.
And I was like, yes, children,just like the street.
(18:42):
And they're like and the school?
And I was like, yes, and justlike the street.
And they're like, and this, theschool?
And I was like, yes, and justlike the school, lamar middle
school on Lamar boulevard.
Yes, they are both named forpresident Lamar and they don't
the amazing, like it's somethingthat little where you used to
see them go, oh my gosh, andthey just love it so much it's.
You live for that as a teacher,right?
(19:04):
But now I also have this storyof my, of my students being like
are you kidding me?
And like the hilarious momentof them coming to the
realization of what thatconnection actually is.
There was one time I had tothrow out my entire lesson
because a classroom full ofstudents did not know that a
(19:25):
chinchilla and a chimichangawere not the same thing.
I literally had to throw outthe entire lesson for the day
and I spent 45 minutes goingthrough all of the those words
that sound um.
I had to explain.
It wasn't a chich manga, it wasa chimichanga, it was a
(19:45):
chinchilla.
It somehow turned into maracas.
I had a conga line.
It was the most wild.
But those are the things youlive for like.
You live for stuff like thatbecause it's what makes the job
so fun.
And then you get to go to yourcolleagues and tell them this
kid just used the word moobs todescribe cows, udders what oh my
(20:11):
gosh and you and you get itbecause it's genius, of course,
but he's like but I don't knowwhat they're called moobs and I
was like say that again, yes,but yes, it makes sense.
Yeah, absolutely Because,because what on earth that's
what gets.
(20:31):
And then you go tell yourfriends who are also teachers,
who get, just how hard that jobis and you get to laugh about
that.
Oh yeah, and I'm not in theclassroom anymore, yeah.
Jenny GK (20:39):
Just this week, I have injured my knee.
Caitlin Kindred (20:42):
Wait, tell everyone how you injured your
knee.
Jenny GK (20:47):
Because this is my favorite part of the story.
I was delivering presents fromthe administrators to teachers
and I jumped into a teacher'sclassroom.
Mary Chris, oh, my knee made anoise when I landed it's not
funny, but I crashed up it'shilarious, I was jumping for joy
(21:07):
and landed in pain.
Only you would do that.
Valerie Probstfeld (21:09):
Only you would do that, and that's the
thing.
Jenny GK (21:10):
Is like everyone's laughing at me, but anyhow, yeah
.
So one of the kids asked mehe's like what do you think is
wrong with it?
And I'm explaining.
I said, well, I think mymeniscus is torn and that keeps
the bones from touching and soit's causing a little bit of
pain right now because I havebones touching bones and my knee
doesn't really want to bend theway it's supposed to.
(21:31):
This kid in empathy Okay, thiswas not a joke, he was being
serious.
13 year old boy oh, miss, Ithink that happened to my pinky.
Caitlin Kindred (21:46):
No, I have never laughed harder.
I've never laughed harder thanI did as a classroom teacher.
And it's even funnier whenthey're middle schoolers,
because when they're inelementary school you really
can't laugh at some of thethings they say, because it's
beyond inappropriate.
It's like you know, my mom saysthat when you go to jail, you
and you're like I'm sorry, wait,what, like, what are you
telling me?
But when the middle schoolersit's.
(22:12):
It's funnier with them becauseone they they are being genuine.
Most of the time they don'tknow they're being funny.
But the other piece of it isthere are kids who slowly start
to realize what just happened,and so they're all in on the
joke with you and they join inand it just it becomes this wave
of like realization across theroom where you're like yup, now
(22:33):
we're all getting the humor.
Jenny GK (22:33):
The kids are great, the kids are great, you can find
amazing, and it doesn't matterwhere.
You are Right, because I teachat a school right now that has
high tuition, but I have alsotaught at a school in an area
where everyone was getting lunch.
Kids are kids and they arefunny.
They are funny and they.
They love to laugh too.
Valerie Probstfeld (22:54):
No, I need to say something because it's
not at all relevant to anything,but I feel like I need to
because Sounds like our show.
Yes, yes.
So when I lived in Texas, Imoved from the Chicago area.
I'm originally from the Chicagoarea, now I'm back in the
Chicago area.
But I lived in Texas for awhile, in Austin and in Dallas.
But when I was in Austin Ineeded to change my car license
(23:15):
plate to a Texas license plateand, uh, the guy was dating at
the time which he ended up beingmy husband later on.
He said because he's from Texas.
He was like oh, when you get aTexas license plate, they give
you a cowboy hat.
And I, I didn't know, I lovehim and so once I got it, I'm
(23:42):
fully expecting them to give mea cowboy hat.
They didn't give it to me.
So if anyone has any influence,I really feel like that would
be a good thing to do that isamazing.
Jenny GK (23:58):
I walked up the stairs and you know, hobbled up the
stairs and you know, hobbled upthe stairs this week carrying a
drone.
Oh wow, the robotics class hadordered.
Oh okay, and it's in the box.
It says drone on it.
It's very clear that that'swhat I'm carrying.
And one of the kids says MissGK, why have a drone?
(24:19):
I said, well, you know, with myknee like this, it's really
hard for me to walk around.
So I thought I would justobserve your classes by flying
the drone around.
Stop, oh my God.
And this quartet of young womenlook at me like that's really
creepy.
Don't do that.
Caitlin Kindred (24:35):
I was like I'm kidding, I'm delivering this to
robotics Like it's like guys,you really think I just sit at
my desk like fly a drone around,like how annoying would that be
to those teachers that hate youand the kids would behave
because they know I'm comingright, yeah, exactly that's so
(24:59):
good, yeah, I tell them all thetime look, I've taught middle
school longer than you've beenalive, Right?
Jenny GK (25:04):
And so I have become sadly like this is something I
can put on my resume the masterof the deadpan, Like I can do
the joke in my serious voice.
So they literally believed methat this was going to happen.
I was like no guys, come on,You've known me for a while.
Do you really think I'm goingto fly a drone around?
(25:25):
Right?
I don't even know how to usethe remote.
Can we just please?
I'm just bringing this to therobotics class.
Valerie Probstfeld (25:33):
He loves drones, but and I used it for a
Halloween costume because I likegot back to the future and but
uh, I couldn't find like aJennifer Parker outfit.
Caitlin Kindred (25:43):
Oh my gosh, you're speaking.
Jenny's language right now.
Jenny GK (25:46):
It's my favorite movie of all time.
I may or may not have made myhusband dress up on two
occasions to go see it in thetheater.
The gender what you need forthe Jennifer Parker outfit is
the floral jeans.
Once you get those, you'venailed it.
Valerie Probstfeld (26:00):
That is so true.
Well, and I didn't have that,so I felt like it wasn't working
.
I'm like I'm just not pullingoff Jennifer Parker in the way
that I feel like she needs to berepresented.
Jenny GK (26:15):
I'm thinking of set brothers like it's okay that my
mask isn't movie quality like somerit.
Valerie Probstfeld (26:26):
He like got um, you know, like a red vest
for marty.
Jenny GK (26:29):
So I just right, right , right yeah.
Valerie Probstfeld (26:31):
So I mean that's easy, I'm just gonna be
doc, bro, like I'm just gonna dothat.
I have a lab coat put that onand then I'm like I don't have
anything like for the, the carlike with the whole thing.
So I took the drone remotecontrol, perfect done.
My son was like what are youdoing?
Caitlin Kindred (26:49):
you would have blown doc brown's mind with that
drone.
Valerie Probstfeld (26:52):
I would love to hear becoming a mom has
changed you or like, what haveyou learned since becoming a mom
?
Caitlin Kindred (27:00):
I mean, oh, this is hard.
It's going to sound a little,um, uh, selfish.
Maybe not selfish.
Um, I'm going to talk aboutmyself here.
Uh, in a lot of ways, becominga parent has made me very
anxious.
Um, I worry about things I didnot ever know that I would worry
about.
Right, they talk about thatwhole.
(27:20):
Um, having a child is likehaving your heart outside of
your body.
There is that very real feelingof anxiety that comes with it.
There's so much outside of mycontrol, which is not how I like
things.
I have my own anxiety as it is,and I feel better when I can
control things.
That's why I like to be the onewho drives places.
(27:41):
It's because I know.
I know that I'm not dependingon anyone else for any other
thing.
So, um, in other ways, it's mademe hyper aware of my own other
emotions, um, of my own behavior, how my behavior has a direct
impact on other people, becauseI'm watching like my stress
(28:02):
level go up and my child becomemore anxious, or I'm watching
myself laugh about something andmy child relax and have fun.
It's a weird thing, but it'smade me very hyper aware of
myself and how I conduct myselfaround anyone, because everyone
(28:23):
is absorbing your behavior and Ithink when I was teaching it
would have been an interesting Ididn't stay in teaching long
enough to watch my son get olderand older and older at the same
time, but I think I would havebecome even more aware of that
as time had gone on with the waythat I was engaging with
students.
(28:44):
It's made me more empatheticoverall In terms of like, both
in how I relate to other parentsand how I relate to my child,
and you know it's a.
It's a weird thing and I thinkI've said this to Jenny I'm sure
I have before but I also, like,am more empathetic for moms in
(29:06):
general, because I think when Iwas in the hospital after I just
had my son one of my nurses Godbless her, she was the best
person on the planet.
Especially in that moment.
You just need someone who reallycares about you.
She goes how are you doing mama?
Because the baby is the candybar, the mommy is the wrapper,
(29:27):
and once the baby comes out,nobody cares about the mommy
anymore, right?
Nobody's there to see mama,everyone's there to see baby.
And there are people who arethere to see mama, right,
usually, like mama's parents arethere to see mama, right, but
people aren't concerned aboutthe mom anymore.
They're concerned about thebaby and I really try to make
sure that when I'm havingempathy, yes, it's about the
(29:51):
child, but I really want todirect it at that mom because
she needs it more than the childdoes.
That child will be fine.
There's.
Everyone else is looking outfor that child.
Child will be fine.
There's, everyone else islooking out for that child.
Someone has to look out for momand I think that's really where
it's changed me the most isjust being hyper aware of moms
(30:13):
and being extra empathetic tothem and their needs.
That's beautiful.
Thank you, it's, it's how I,it's genuine, it's what I really
believe.
It was such a profoundstatement.
It was an aha moment for me tohave her say you know, because
baby is the candy bar, the mommyis the rapper what?
Jenny GK (30:34):
But it's so true.
I had a similar moment with anurse.
I was pregnant with my secondand I was in a car accident.
May or may not have caused itmyself no big deal, and I am,
but it is.
It is funny because I'm on mythird Subaru since I met my
husband 10 years ago.
Anyway, I'm at L&D gettingchecked out, everything's fine.
(30:57):
It was a minor accident, it justmessed up the car and it needed
to be checked out and the nursesaid to me you know, jen, if
you can fix it with money, it'snot really a problem.
Wow.
And to have a nurse, someone inthe medical profession, tell me
that.
It was like, yeah, you're right, you might not always have the
(31:19):
money, you might not even beable to get the money, but if
you can fix it with money, it'snot really a problem.
I was like, yeah, you're right,because there are problems out
there that you see every daythat money is not going to fix.
Valerie Probstfeld (31:31):
Money will never fix.
Jenny GK (31:32):
Yeah, wow, and you know, that's how I've been
getting through with this knee,like, hey, I can walk, I can
move around, and there that Ican walk, I can move around, and
there's going to be some kindof procedure that will fix it,
even if it's a total kneereplacement.
Oh, they do so, it's fine.
I'm worried, I don't know.
Knee replacement because I meanbecause I have already put that
(31:53):
in my mind, that like, even ifthat's what it was and it's not
going to be, but even if it waslike that's something that I can
do, yeah, that, yeah, okay.
So you know, if you can fix itwith money, it's not a big
problem.
We'll figure it out Now.
Becoming a mom has humbled me.
Oh, a hundred percent.
I have had a lot of things goeasy for me in my life.
(32:15):
I loved school.
I was good at it.
I wasn't so great at college,because you have to actually go
to class to learn there.
Valerie Probstfeld (32:23):
So that was the thing.
Jenny GK (32:25):
But once I was old enough to realize that was the
problem, that I wasn't likeactually doing what I was
supposed to do.
But, like a lot of things havegone easy for me.
I really enjoy teaching and youknow I'll pat myself on the
back, I think I'm good at itteaching, and you know I'll pat
(32:46):
myself on the back, I think I'mgood at it.
But being a mom is reallyreally hard and when you think
you're everything's going right,something comes up.
There's like oh wait, jen,let's check yourself.
Um, when Abby was four, Iprepped her for her well check.
I said you're gonna have to getshots at this appointment.
You can get them in your leg orin your arm.
There will be four shots.
(33:08):
They can do two in each leg orthey can do two in each arm.
I will sit with you while youget the shots and then at the
end you'll get a sticker andwe'll go out for ice cream and
she says okay, okay.
So at the appointment thetechnician says, okay, well,
it's time for immunizations.
I said, no, it's fine, sheknows that she's getting shots.
(33:28):
We can talk about it.
She's okay.
Well, I'm going to go get theneedles and we'll be back Abby
arms, her legs and she says legs.
So she lays down on the table.
I hold her legs.
I'm looking at her in the eye.
The nurse pulls out the shotsEverybody's fine.
She gives the shots Abby's eyesgiant dinner plates.
(33:48):
She looks at me.
I forgot to tell her that shotshurt.
Caitlin Kindred (33:56):
I was like I had done a great job, like oh,
I'm a stellar mom.
Jenny GK (33:58):
This nurse is like oh, wow, like I had done a great
job, like oh, I'm a stellar mom.
This nurse is like oh, wow,abby's okay with the shots, this
is great.
Like oops, Like a small pieceof information that I did not
provide.
Caitlin Kindred (34:10):
I was going to say, like your daughter is
exceptionally mature, so anyfour-year-old who's like, oh
yeah, okay, shots, no big deal.
It's not even remotelysurprising to me that she would
have done that.
But remotely surprising to methat she would have done that.
But now that I you take forgranted that we know shots hurt
but a four-year-old doesn't knowthat.
Valerie Probstfeld (34:29):
Oh, like there's things we do and we're
like oh, I wish I would havedone it this way, or whatever.
Yeah, it's like I wouldn't wanta perfect mom, though either.
You know, like then theywouldn't like understand life,
and like, when they realize it'snot perfect, then it's like oh
how do I deal?
Caitlin Kindred (34:50):
Yeah, I agree, I do struggle with the human
moment, and we've talked aboutthis on a different show.
But there is that moment whereyou realize, like your parents
are human right, like, oh, myparents are not perfect.
Oh, like they do somethingthat's like maybe it's hurtful
or unexpected, or it's just theyjust have a human moment that
shows that they're flawed people.
Um, and I think the differencebetween our generation of people
(35:12):
and other generations before usis that at this point, our
generation is now telling ourchild hey, that time when I
didn't tell you that shots hurt,yeah, that's on me, my bad, and
I messed that up because Ithink the human moment as an if
you have that human moment as anadult, it's really hard to come
to terms with.
(35:33):
And so, like being forthrightabout how you were humbled in
the process of parenting yourchild is really, really
important to share with otherpeople, but also with your own
child, when they're old enoughto understand that that's what
happened.
So I'm just going to piggybackthat on top of what Jenny's
saying is like, again, it goesback to that awareness, right,
(35:55):
like being hyper aware of theway my own behavior impacts
other people and apologizingwhen I am wrong.
Like you know, I wasoverstimulated.
I really could not handle youasking me to open that bottle of
sparkling water in that momentand I screamed my full head off
at you and I am really sorryabout that.
Here's why I did it and here'swhy it was wrong.
(36:16):
Can I open that for you now?
Just having that moment ofhumility is really really yeah,
and for me it's the second kid,right?
Jenny GK (36:26):
oh, oh, sorry you don't have a baby book.
Like no, no, no, like you havea ziploc bag full of stuff I
collected for a few months.
Caitlin Kindred (36:35):
I just found your baby bracelet inside my
jewelry box, my.
Valerie Probstfeld (36:41):
You guys, I really want to touch on a point
that I think is so important,and I would love for you guys
just to share with our listenersthe episode and how, and I'll
put it in the show notes as well.
But it's about school safety andI think this is a very
important topic and I think yourepisode is called Beyond
Thoughts and Prayers PracticalActions for School Safety.
(37:03):
Beyond Thoughts and PrayersPractical Actions for School
Safety.
I just I loved it.
It was so thoroughly researched.
It was just so helpful.
Can you share with us a bitabout that?
Caitlin Kindred (37:13):
I think that really, that episode truly came
from our own heartache.
Jenny GK (37:17):
Yeah, we have had to address that, or we have chosen
to address that on threeseparate occasions on our show.
Caitlin Kindred (37:25):
Yeah, there's this idea that I think as a
society we are especially in theStates we are becoming
(37:52):
desensitized to school violence.
That's probably true in themedia or generally.
Personally, it is not true.
It hurts a little bit moreevery single time.
For me, I really struggle tomove past it for a little bit
longer.
Every time it happens.
I have been in the orbits ofpeople who are personally
impacted.
At one point, one of my highschool classmates' sons
committed an act of violence ina school and ended up passing
(38:13):
away after that.
I work in ed tech marketing.
One of my clients is in theschool security space, is in the
school security space, and anemail I wrote may or may not
have been a trigger to allowthis person to purchase the
product that helped their schoolin a moment of crisis.
(38:35):
We are educators at heart.
We're both very empatheticpeople.
We come from a place of yes, wecome from wanting to help when
we can, and I think that thehelplessness that comes from
watching that happen really iswhere that came from.
I think the first one we didwas was that after you, valdi,
(38:57):
when we did that first one?
Jenny GK (38:58):
Okay, yeah, and so I'm really fortunate I teach work.
I guess I'm not a teacheranymore.
Yes, you are you teach adults,okay, but I'm in a school that
has a security entrance with anarmed officer at all times,
(39:22):
bulletproof glass that actuallyfell off the truck on the
delivery on the way over anddidn't break, wow um, and four
armed guards roaming theproperty at all times that
children are there, and when wehave a special event, we even
contract more officers to come.
(39:42):
Um, I'm, we're just, we'rereally really lucky, um, and I
know that, especially in privateschools, having to pay for
security is really challenging,and so, um, the recent events
that have happened in privateschools, it's because they don't
have the security that theyneed, and it is sad to say that
(40:06):
you need to have officers orother secure measures on your
campus.
For me, it really comes down toit doesn't matter what side of
the aisle you're on.
No one is in favor of childrenlosing their lives at school,
right, and you can believe whatyou want to believe about
(40:31):
legislation and ownership rightsand purchasing power and all of
those things, and still beagainst this.
Yes, and you know it's alreadybeen said we live in Texas and
there's no question where Texasstands on these types of issues.
But you can even carry andstill be in favor of school
(40:59):
safety and there's a lot ofthings that you can do and still
(41:29):
be a supporter of SecondAmendment rights as they're
defined now was the.
For me, the most important thingthat we did was make it more
than just a gun regulationconversation, because that shuts
down the conversation for 50 to60 percent of americans and and
I don't want um school safetyand kids lives to be tied to
someone feeling that they'reright, yeah, a political issue
and people feeling that theirrights yeah, a political issue
and people feeling that theirrights are infringed, because
we're talking about the rightsof children to live Right, and
(41:51):
so that to me, if you'relistening and you haven't heard
that episode, that's the thingI'm most proud of is that we
really did brainstorm andprovide actionable items for
people who are even interestedin furthering ownership rights,
because that should not get inthe way of keeping kids safe.
Caitlin Kindred (42:15):
Right, and the last couple of incidents, if I
am not mistaken, were related topeople who had purchased items
legally for children who shouldnot have had them, which means
that they are pro-gun ownership,and that's totally okay.
What's not okay is puttingthings in the hands of people
(42:39):
who can create violentsituations, and that's really.
Again, as Jenny said, she wasvery careful about that and my
stance is a little different andI don't need to go into that.
Jenny GK (42:48):
But oh, and you know politically that that that's a
completely different issue.
Right Like, right, it just is.
If I can have a voice on thatissue, it's not going to be the
common Texas belief, but that Idon't want that to get in the
way of my point.
Caitlin Kindred (43:06):
Right Like that's the issue, right, and
that exactly is the issue athand is is you know, there's a
reason we feel that way andthat's because we feel like,
because we are constantlydealing with these issues of
kids being put in unsafesituations.
That's where this place iscoming from.
That said, you don't have tofeel helpless, right like that.
(43:28):
You can be absolutelypro-second amendment, have as
many guns as you need in yourhouse and still be a responsible
gun owner who works andadvocates for student safety in
the classroom, teacher safety inthe classroom.
Those are things that you can.
(43:50):
They can coexist, and I thinkthat right now we're in this
space of black and white right.
Morality is this yes, there are, there is right and wrong, but
right now, we need to thinkbeyond black and white and look
at shades of gray and find, finda way to have these things
coexist, because things cancoexist.
Two things can be true at thesame time you can be a
(44:11):
responsible gun owner, who alsopart of school safety and and
addressing that.
Everyone has these differentbeliefs, but there is one thing
(44:32):
that we all come together on andthat is that we want our
children to come home the endright we should all be able to
agree on that.
And if, if that's somethingthat you can't agree on, then
clearly that episode's not foryou and that's fine.
You don't have to listen, don't?
The people who, by the way I'mjust going to put this out there
the people who give one starratings to podcasts?
Did you know you can turn thatpodcast off?
(44:54):
Just saying, just saying youcan do that.
The same applies here, butthat's why we know that people
could have turned our podcastoff, that people could have
turned our podcast off.
Valerie Probstfeld (45:05):
So we didn't want to turn anyone away from
the message, because the messageis too important to politicize,
I think, and I'm so proud ofyou guys for for having that
conversation, cause it issomething that, like, I'm to the
point now that when I, you know, like when I send my kids to
school and I hear an ambulance,I think, oh, instant freak out
yeah.
(45:26):
And if that is in society, wherethat's the first thing that
comes to our mind when we hearthat it's like this conversation
and it needs to have like and Ifeel like that episode is
putting I talk a lot about likeripple effects and in our ponds,
like we need to be thosepebbles putting that, putting
that conversation, putting theseactionable steps to create
(45:48):
ripple effects into for all ofus to understand those shades of
gray.
Caitlin Kindred (45:53):
Yeah, I also.
Just I have to say the factthat you you just said, if I
hear an ambulance, I instantlygo to that place, to me right
there, that's proof that we arenot desensit.
That's proof that we are notdesensitized to this
conversation, we are notdesensitized to these acts of
violence, and so that rippleeffect does become even more
important.
(46:13):
More and more people need tohear messages that they're
willing to listen to, becauseit's not a politicized message,
it is a message of what is rightand wrong, and what is right is
kids going home to theirparents at the end of the school
day.
So, yeah, that is a hugecompliment, because it does come
from such a deeply emotionalplace to make that episode.
(46:33):
So, thank you.
And if you haven't heard it,there are actual action steps
you can take that exist withinthat episode, and I would highly
recommend it.
Ones I'm honestly most proud of.
Like, I'm proud of a fewepisodes.
There's the ones that we, welaugh a lot together.
Those are always great, but theones that are like that, you
(46:54):
know, I think that's even moreimportant.
So Absolutely.
Valerie Probstfeld (46:59):
Kaelin and Jenny.
I feel like I can talk with youguys all day.
I need to share with ourlisteners where they can find
you, where they can follow you.
Jenny GK (47:07):
You can find us anywhere you pod.
We're fancy, we're on Apple andwe're on Spotify and you know,
if you happen to be one of theseindie podcasters, we're on good
pods, but we're we're mostactive on Instagram and Caitlin
(47:30):
manages that for us.
She's up there all the time, soif you want to reach out,
she'll be quick on the fly andbe able to respond to any
messages that you send.
And we also have a websitewhere you can find all of our
episodes, as well as our blog.
Again, thanks Caitlin, becauseshe manages all of that, yeah we
(47:52):
.
Caitlin Kindred (47:52):
I was quick to get on the handle that we wanted
, so it's CK and GK podcast withthe word and in between, and
that's our website too.
So CK and GK podcast dot com.
I send out emails.
If you want to be an emailsubscriber to get reminded about
episodes, or you just want toperuse our website, all of that
is available.
(48:13):
Sometimes we even recommendlike the products that we love.
On our show there's like awhole page of like, just the
stuff we were like this isreally cool.
Every people, everybody shouldbuy this, and we don't get paid
for that.
We're just putting it out therebecause we like it, so you can
find us in all the places.
We could get paid for it.
We could, I just haven't.
Jenny GK (48:29):
We're open to accepting that.
Let me just go on the record.
Caitlin Kindred (48:33):
Right Anyone who would like to sponsor, if
anyone happens to be listeningfrom that airplane pocket
backseat thing.
Jenny GK (48:39):
Yeah, we're big fun.
Caitlin Kindred (48:41):
Yeah yeah, skymall, do you need ambassadors
?
I love the stuff in thatcatalog.
Anyone, we're big fun.
I hope that that message camethrough here.
I just want to say thank youfor having us.
I believe that our listenersprobably overlap in some way,
but also that any chance we haveto get out and share our
(49:03):
message and hopefully have otherpeople have some fun at the
same time, it's really a bigdeal.
So thank you so much for havingus on the show.
Jenny GK (49:11):
Shout out to your dentist.
Valerie Probstfeld (49:13):
Yes, I just talked to my dentist yesterday.
I was telling Caitlin and Jennyshe was asking about mom
podcasts and like, oh, I do apodcast and I'm actually talking
with these podcasters tomorrowwho are amazing.
So that's so important for uspodcasters.
I think that you know, if youresonate with what you're
hearing, please share it.
Caitlin Kindred (49:33):
Please.
It helps so much, it's sohelpful.
Valerie Probstfeld (49:38):
And that's what I love about what you guys
are doing too is you arecreating, you're making a
difference, and I think the moreus moms, us people in this
world join hands to make adifference is so important.
So continue spreading thatmessage, continue doing what
you're doing.
You're doing incredible work.
Thank you so much for all ofthe love, the passion, the
(50:01):
advocacy and the laughter.
Caitlin Kindred (50:03):
I mean best compliment ever.
Thank you so much.
I feel similarly about yourshow.
I think that it comes from sucha place of kindness and empathy
and I love listening to whatyou have to say and what your
guests have to say.
It's great.
So thank you, that's a reallybig compliment.
Valerie Probstfeld (50:22):
Kindred spirits.
I love it yes.
Caitlin Kindred (50:25):
See, works, it works Bye, bye.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Intentionally Disturbing
Join me on this podcast as I navigate the murky waters of human behavior, current events, and personal anecdotes through in-depth interviews with incredible people—all served with a generous helping of sarcasm and satire. After years as a forensic and clinical psychologist, I offer a unique interview style and a low tolerance for bullshit, quickly steering conversations toward depth and darkness. I honor the seriousness while also appreciating wit. I’m your guide through the twisted labyrinth of the human psyche, armed with dark humor and biting wit.