September 30, 2025 • 34 mins
You were fine until middle school, then everything fell apart. Your postpartum brain fog felt different than "new mom tired." Your 40s hit and suddenly you can't remember words mid-sentence. What if these aren't three separate problems? What if it's all your ADHD brain responding to major hormonal shifts—and nobody told you that was a thing?
Stop wondering why your ADHD feels different at different life stages—hit subscribe and learn how puberty, pregnancy, and menopause unmask or worsen symptoms (and what to do about it).
- Click here for this episode’s blog post with links to sources and even more content.
- Stay connected: Subscribe to our newsletter!
Hey! If you're loving this series, we'd be so grateful if you'd leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. We're sitting at 4.9 stars but need more reviews to help other women find us. Your words help us reach the moms who need this information most.
—
Who Should Listen
This episode is for women noticing their ADHD symptoms have changed dramatically during major life transitions, and moms watching their daughters suddenly struggle as hormones kick in during puberty.
—
What You Get In This Episode
- Why estrogen dips send ADHD symptoms through the roof (and why 94% of women say perimenopause is the worst for ADHD)
- How puberty unmasks ADHD in girls who were "fine" in elementary school
- The pregnancy hormone rollercoaster: superpowers vs. cotton ball brain, and why postpartum is more than just "new mom life"
- What perimenopause does to your ADHD brain—word-finding trouble, mental fatigue, and emotional overwhelm that feels life-altering
- Why your experience might look different from other women's (and why that's not a character flaw)
—
Bios
Caitlin brings her signature blend of humor and practical advice to help overwhelmed moms navigate the challenges of ADHD and adulting. With Ariella Monti (ariellamonti.com), novelist and unstoppable force who understands firsthand how ADHD affects every aspect of daily life.
—
Sources & Mentions
Coming up next week: Medication adjustments, advocacy strategies, and how to work WITH your hormones instead of against them.
- CHADD, ADDitude mag, various research studies, and others. Get the full list in this blog post.
P.S. If you're loving this series, we'd be so grateful if you'd leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. We're sitting at 4.9 stars but need more reviews to help other women find us. Your words help us reach the moms who need this information most.
The best support is a rating and a share.
Love,
CK & GK
View our website at ckandgkpodcast.com. Find us on social media @ckandgkpodcast on
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- Facebook
- TikTok
Thanks, y'all!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Caitlin Kindred (00:00):
Learned about this that there was a study
done, I think it was like 2013,that was that singing actually
is one of those things thatreleases endorphins.
And as we know, endorphins makeyou happy.
Happy people don't shoot theirhusbands.
Right.
Uh, but like it, it's a thing.
That's why singing in the carfeels so good.
Like it's a, it's a, it's anenergy boost.
(00:22):
It and it's a uh it releasesoxytocin and endorphins, which
both are like feel-goodchemicals in the brain.
Ariella Monti (00:30):
I have a playlist called Scream It Out.
Yeah, and it's like all of thethe songs that I love to scream
sing in the car.
And like I think I I think Istarted it during the pandemic
when I would yeah, and then Ijust like keep it going and just
(00:52):
add more to it.
I just yeah, either add or likeyou know, after a while, like
then you get ADHD, likeeventually get tired of certain
songs.
Yeah, I'll pull them, you know,yeah, pull them a rotation.
But yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (01:06):
Yeah.
I had a when I lived inColorado, there there was a
radio station that is verypopular there.
It's 97.3 KBCO, and it's agreat station for anyone who
likes um kind of like Americanameets like indie rock and then
some rock and roll music.
It's got a it's got a littlebit of everything there,
honestly.
Um, it's a great station.
(01:28):
And you could submit like threesong sets to them and win
tickets.
And I submitted a three-songset of Scream Sing songs.
It's like one of them was likeKeen, and then which who, by the
way, if you know who Keen is,anyone listening.
Yeah, exactly.
That face says a lot.
It was like Keen, Lorde, andsomething else.
(01:49):
Anyway, but it was all like abunch of songs that I could
totally just belt out in thesong.
They made me or in uh in thecar made me feel so good to sing
them.
And I actually, when Isubmitted it, I won Counting
Crows tickets to Red Rocks.
Ariella Monti (02:02):
Yes, Counting Crows.
Caitlin Kindred (02:05):
Yeah, it was great.
And I also have there's astation here in Austin that
plays kind of like 90s and 2000srock, and it's it made me very
happy.
Like yesterday, 311 came onFilter Take My Picture and
Filter.
Ariella Monti (02:21):
Oh my god.
Caitlin Kindred (02:23):
That was one of my favorite songs.
I loved that song, and it'slike you know that song's based
on a true story where he waslike, No, not exactly there were
some substances, and he endedup like naked on a plane.
Yeah, that's it, yeah.
It was kind of yeah, that'sanyway.
Hey guys, we're you're here,and we're happy to have you.
(02:43):
Uh so this is how to be agrown-up.
This is the how-to show forwomen who miss the days when
liking something just meant allyou had to do was nod your head.
I mean, this is that personthat you hear laughing at me.
Hopefully, I have my jokes.
She can laugh at me too.
I don't care, honestly.
(03:04):
If there's nothing, she canlaugh at me, she could because
she'll also lift me up at thesame time, so it all works out.
Um, this is Ariella Monti,she's a novelist, and she is a
caffeine-powered brainstormingsession in human form.
Ariella Monti (03:16):
And the wind beneath your wings.
Caitlin Kindred (03:19):
Yes.
Oh my god.
Picture this, if you will.
You're 13 and suddenly youcan't focus on anything.
Is it because your boy iscrazy?
No, it's not.
Or you're pregnant and yourbrain feels like mush.
Or you're 45, just not that faraway for us.
(03:41):
And wondering if you're losingyour mind because words just
disappear mid-sentence and it'sreally hot all of a sudden.
Uh, I'm gonna tell you here,these are not separate problems.
These are all the same thing.
These are your brain respondingto major hormonal shifts in
your life.
So this is part two of our ADHDin hormones series.
(04:02):
Last time we covered the basicsof like hormones 101, why
estrogen is your brain's bestfriend and progesterone is a
brat, uh, and not the good kindof brat, right?
Um kind, not the fun kind.
Um, their influences on eachphase of your menstrual cycle
and what those mean for yoursymptoms.
What?
(04:23):
Serious topic.
Can you tell Ariella writescertain kinds of books for a
living?
Brattiness.
Ariella Monti (04:40):
Words have so many new meanings.
Caitlin Kindred (04:49):
Oh, don't look up brat material on Etsy, okay?
Just don't do that.
Unless you have a certainlifestyle choice, don't do it.
But no, no, you do it too.
Don't tell me what to do.
Don't tell me what to look upon Etsy.
(05:11):
You're gonna you're gonna findsome things you didn't know
existed.
I'm just gonna tell you thatright now.
Um like the time when my friendAshley and I were watching a
professional development sessionat school at a very, very
conservative Christian school.
And this man had a like HarryPotter remote control wand that
(05:34):
he was using to like selectpeople.
And I was like, that's so cool.
I want that.
And what do Ashley and I do?
Immediately look up magic wandon our phones during the
professional developmentsession.
Oh, I got a look from my boss,from my principal.
I was in so much trouble.
Like we were just over therecackling, like, oh shoot, why
(05:56):
did we do that?
That's anyway, that is not thepoint.
The point is those hormones,estrogen and progesterone, are
very, very influential in yourlife.
They have fluctuationsthroughout not just your cycle,
but also your life phases.
And so if you haven't listenedto that previous episode of our
(06:17):
intro, like please go do thatbecause it kind of gives you the
rundown of what you need toknow before we get into this
one.
But today we're going to getinto kind of a nitty-gritty of
your life cycles.
So how your ADHD symptomschange throughout different life
phases and why some periods ofyour life periods, oh my gosh,
feel like ADHD is ramped up.
(06:38):
And there's, you know, there'sso much science here.
I I'm I I'm not a scienceteacher, but I should have been.
I would have known a lot more.
There's actual science behindwhy your teenage years, why
pregnancy, why menopause mighthave felt or currently feel like
they're absolutely chaotic ifyou have ADHD.
If you are an ADHD mom, likeyou're a mom with ADHD, or a
(07:00):
parent of an ADHD daughter.
First of all, if you're aparent of an ADHD daughter and
you don't have ADHD, maybe justreassess because there's a good
chance that you do.
Um, but this episode is foryou.
Please make sure you'refollowing, subscribe to this
show.
And if you haven't left us areview yet and you are a
listener, please do that.
It means so much to us.
(07:21):
We currently have a 4.9, a 4-9on Apple Podcasts.
And yet for some reason, we'renot ranking.
So I would love it if we couldget some more reviews.
Maybe I'll even put them on ourwebsite.
Who knows?
Be awesome.
Anyway, let's get into this.
If you could see the list ofsources that I used, it is
(07:41):
massive.
I it was so hard.
It was so hard to put all thistogether.
Um, there's a couple of uh oneof them I have listed here
twice, which is not great.
Um, anyway, there were a couplethat were pretty prominent.
So again, Chad, the website, cha d chad.org.
Attitude mag.
(08:01):
This is a new website I'd neverheard of before.
Adept, A-D-D-E-A-E-P-T, Adept.
Kind of clever.
Ariella Monti (08:08):
I think I've come across it.
Caitlin Kindred (08:10):
Okay.
Ariella Monti (08:11):
I don't know anything about it.
Caitlin Kindred (08:13):
A few of these were like actual, you know,
research studies that I wouldlike to see a quote and I was
like, oh, we have to somehowwork that in.
So there's a few from PMC,which is a research aggregate.
There's a very focusedresearcher who's very focused on
this topic.
Her name is Ashley G.
Eng.
She is looking into hormonaleffects of ADHD on women during
different phases of life.
So I used her stuff, ScienceDirect, um, Health Mine
(08:38):
Understood.
The whole list is on the blogpost for this episode.
Please go check out some ofthose sources.
There, there's some fascinatinginformation there.
Um and ADHD or sorry, AttitudeMags article, we demand into
attention.
Oh my gosh, can I start thatover?
We demand attention on howhormonal changes impact ADHD
(08:59):
symptoms in women.
Yes, we do.
Because as I said in the lastepisode, patriarchy is part of
the problem when it comes to whyyour meds don't work during
certain times of the month.
So, anyway, all those sourcesand mentions.
But before we dive into this, Iwant to share a couple of stats
that I learned that make meangry.
(09:19):
And get your middle fingersready for the patriarchy.
Okay, here we go.
94% of women with ADHD saytheir symptoms get worse during
perimenopause and menopause.
94%.
That's not a coincidence.
That's a pattern.
That's real.
Ariella Monti (09:35):
Yep.
Caitlin Kindred (09:36):
More than half of women with ADHD describe this
period as the most difficultADHD-wise in their entire lives.
Ariella Monti (09:43):
I believe it.
Caitlin Kindred (09:46):
We are talking about women who've been managing
ADHD for decades and suddenlythey feel like they've lost
their instruction manual for howany of this like works.
Like what?
Yeah.
So all of these researcharticles kept saying the same
thing over and over again, whichis partly why I use so many,
(10:07):
because I was looking into thisand I'm going, wait, this one
says it.
Now this one says it.
Now this one says it.
So I'm just gonna put this outthere.
Science.
On this, on this podcast, webelieve in science.
If you are not a scienceperson, hardcore.
Yeah.
If you're not a science person,stop listening.
Bye.
Uh just gonna I'm like, listen,I'm not, I'm here.
Beggars can't be choosers whenit comes to listeners, but I'm
(10:28):
gonna say this now.
You need to believe in scienceif you're gonna be an enjoyer of
this show.
Anyway, science is clear.
It's the drops in estrogen, notjust the absolute amount of
estrogen in your body, but theactual physical drop that send
your ADHD symptoms intooverdrive.
Okay.
So if you remember from thelast episode, if you listened,
(10:48):
if you didn't go.
Bye.
See you later.
Come back.
Estrogen is your brain'spersonal assistant, it's your
brain's best friend.
When it suddenly quits withoutnotice, if you don't have if you
had a personal assistant whothen quits without notice,
everything falls apart, right?
So that's what's happeninghere.
So let's get into the actuallife phases.
So moms of girls in puberty orabout to be in puberty, here you
(11:11):
go.
Level one, puberty.
Or when ADHD crashes thehormone party.
I'm so good at this contentwriting.
So you or your daughter arecruising through elementary
school.
Maybe you're struggling alittle bit, but you're managing,
and then all of a sudden,puberty hits like a freight
(11:31):
train and it's carrying hormonesas cargo.
So for girls with ADHD, pubertyoften reveals symptoms that
were previously hidden or underthe radar.
Those hormone surges don't justchange your body, they're
obviously changing your brain,and they're rewiring pretty much
(11:52):
everything within your brain'schemistry.
So here's what's going on.
Remember progesterone, the it'scomplicated, friend?
It spikes and startsinterfering with your estrogen's
cognitive benefits, likedopamine production.
So all of a sudden, anxiety andirritability become harder to
(12:14):
manage.
Your impulsivity goes throughthe roof, and whatever
organizational system that youhad is now gone and or no longer
working.
And that happens to everyone,right?
That's what the body is doingin puberty.
However, for dopamine depletedfolks, everything is ramped up,
(12:38):
right?
And that's why you might hearwomen say, like, I was fine
until middle or high school.
Uh, and then everything fellapart.
It's not that you got lazy orthat you stopped caring.
It's that your brain chemistrycompletely shifted and now no
one told and no one told youthat was what was going on.
You learned in your, you know,middle school sex ed class that,
(12:58):
like, oh, women's bodies aredoing this thing.
Imagine the most beautifulflower you've ever seen.
But that's the kind of stuffthat you were told.
Right.
But you weren't told about theactual science behind what's
happening.
And if you don't know that youhave ADHD because you're an
elementary student and it's yoursymptoms aren't pronounced,
then you really have no clue asto what's going on.
(13:19):
Right.
So and then after puberty, youkind of, you know, things sort
of start to level out.
You maybe you have your ADHDmeds or whatever it is, and
you're kind of plugging along,and then you go through those
monthly cyclical issues wetalked about in the last
episode.
But then, should you choose tohave a child, pregnancy and
(13:41):
postpartum start to start toshow some new things.
This is if you have if you havebeen pregnant and birthed a
child, this is gonna soundfamiliar, especially if you have
ADHD, but this is like such ahormone roller coaster for
everyone who's has beenpregnant.
It's insane.
If your regular monthly hormonechanges are like riding a bike,
(14:06):
being pregnant is like beingstrapped to a rocket ship.
If we can make that connectionhere.
So during pregnancy, some womenfeel like they have superpowers
because of the estrogen boostthat is involved in being
pregnant.
However, progesterone alsospikes during this time as your
body goes into overdrive,producing the chemicals that are
(14:27):
needed to keep a baby alive inyour body.
So some people feel like theirbrain gets replaced with cotton
balls.
It's honestly a crapshoot.
It just depends on your body'schemistry, and everybody's
chemistry is different.
Then during postpartum, and wementioned this in the last
episode, I think Ariel and Iboth had a much harder time in
postpartum than we did duringpregnancy.
Postpartum is when things kindof get real for people.
(14:48):
Your hormone levels duringpostpartum don't just drop.
They're legitimatelyplummeting.
And it happens like immediatelyafter birth.
These hormone levels just startto just hit the ground.
And for women with ADHD, it'ssort of this perfect storm of
all of these different things,again, which we mentioned in our
last episode, which is anincreased risk of postpartum
(15:10):
depression.
And I'm also gonna say probablypostpartum anxiety, because
ultimately ADHD does kind ofmess manifest itself as an
anxiety disorder.
Dramatic changes in focus andenergy.
And this is not just like thebaby is not sleeping, so I'm not
sleeping.
This is also additional focusissues on top of the exhaustion
focus issues.
(15:31):
And then any executivefunctioning that you have that
just feels completely gone,broken, whatever it is.
Yeah.
Out the door.
Completely.
And I thought it was like,well, you know, I can't get up.
I'm strapped to the couchbecause if I move, he's he's
gonna wake up and he neversleeps.
So I can't, I can't move rightnow.
So nothing's gonna get done.
(15:52):
I really thought that's what itwas.
It's not, it wasn't that.
It was so much more deep thanthat from my experience.
Many women get their first ADHDdiagnosis during or after
pregnancy because of theseissues that are um now unmasked
due to all those hormonalchanges.
(16:13):
Um, again, previouslymanageable symptoms, not good,
but manageable, are completelyunmanageable.
And again, I'm gonna say thisis not to say that people
without ADHD are functioninglike normal humans in the
pregnancy and postpartum phase.
I don't mean that at all.
I mean that it's just amplifiedfor these ADHD uh people.
(16:38):
So I said level one and leveltwo.
I called this one the finalboss level.
Perimenopause and menopause.
Um, if you thought that theteenage hormone surge was rough,
yes.
Also, welcome to perimenopauseand menopause, where estrogen
doesn't just fluctuate, itgradually packs its bags and
(17:02):
leaves town.
We're good.
Bye.
Um, so here's what almost everywoman in their 40s and 50s with
ADHD experiences.
Uh forgetfulness that feelslife altering.
It's not just where did I putmy keys, but also what was I
saying mid-sentence?
Mental fatigue that makes youuh feel like you are literally
(17:23):
trying to think throughmolasses, which I have
experienced fairly recently, andthat is that is really hard.
Ariella Monti (17:29):
Yes, that is uh granted, I think undi untreated
sleep apnea is making thatworse.
But yes, the constantly feelinglike speaking this sentence is
taking a lot of thought and alot of effort that it really
(17:54):
wouldn't, like if we were havingthis conversation like five
years ago.
Caitlin Kindred (17:58):
Yeah.
I don't, and I I'm gonna say Idon't know what that is, but I'm
telling you what that is.
Ariella Monti (18:03):
Yeah, yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (18:04):
It's horrible issues.
Um, and again, we know thatthese issues are pronounced for
women with and without ADHDs,right?
It it's not a it's it's notunique, it's not a unique
experience.
It's just that this is againamplified to the point where you
truly feel non-functioning.
Word finding trouble.
Your vocabulary literallydisappears on you, which happens
(18:27):
regularly on this show.
Ariella Monti (18:28):
So you probably know exactly what we're talking
about.
Do you realize how howobnoxious this is as a writer?
Like I do somebody somebody wholike uses words for a living.
All of my drafts have little,like, I'll put uh something
(18:49):
close to what I'm looking forand then highlight it with a
comment that usually sayssomething like, not this word,
but something like it.
Yes.
Caitlin Kindred (19:01):
Yeah, some of my drafts say stuff like that
where it's like, this isn't theword, but it's close to what I
mean.
I'll have that.
Also, fairly recently, and thishas happened to me one other
time before, but I could notthink of the word have as in I
have a podcast or I have redhair.
So I use the word half as in50%.
(19:24):
Yep.
All over this item, all over,because the word have did not
come to my brain.
And there was, wasn't there uhjust a recent video that came
out of like a woman who can'tsay who mixes up ketchup and
mayonnaise or ketchup andmustard or something?
Oh my gosh, now I'm makingballoons on my screen.
What am I doing?
(19:45):
At least once an episode.
But she does something whereshe's like, here, chatch up and
and and then she can't figureout what it is.
And she's like, chatch up,chatch up, chuck.
And she can't get it right, butit's ketchup, she can't say the
word.
Ariella Monti (19:58):
Yeah, it's I haven't seen it, but I have
experienced it.
Caitlin Kindred (20:03):
Yeah.
It and I'm watching this going,this is hilarious.
And oh my gosh, I understandexactly how she's feeling
because she knows the word iswrong, but she can't fix it.
So that's yeah.
The other one that is commonfor women in uh perimenopause
and menopause is emotionaloverwhelm.
It feels completelydisproportionate to what's
(20:24):
actually happening.
And again, because people withADHD struggle so much with
emotional regulation, it's justamplified in this situation.
So let's get into the science.
Ready?
And I love this line that Iwrote.
I'm so proud of it.
Let's get nerdy for a hot flashminute.
(20:44):
Welcome.
You're welcome.
Because this stuff is actuallyreally fascinating to me.
So here's menstrual cyclestudies.
Here's what we know.
Researchers followed youngwomen throughout their cycles
and found that ADHD symptoms,especially inattention and
impulsivity, literally doublewhen estrogen drops after
ovulation.
Double.
So estrogen directly stimulatesdopamine and serotonin
(21:10):
receptors in your brain.
These are the exact circuitsthat are involved in executive
function and emotionalregulation, which is the stuff
that ADHD messes with, right?
So when your estrogen dips,your dopamine drops, and all of
your ADHD symptoms spike.
One researcher said perfectlyduring the follicular phase,
(21:33):
when estrogen levels rise, ADHDsymptoms are lowest and focus
improves.
But during the luteal phase,when estrogen drops and
progesterone rises, symptomslike forgetfulness and
impulsivity spike.
Okay.
It's not in your head.
Brain chemistry.
Um those because those hormone,because estrogen is so involved
(21:55):
in those phases of your life,you can see how you are all
you're dealing with these cycleslike at what's the word?
Consec no, concurrently.
So you're having those monthlyhormonal changes while you're
also dealing with those lifephases.
So it's a lot for you to dealwith all at the same time.
(22:17):
And your body just does itsomehow naturally, even though
I'm just gonna say men couldnever.
Men could never, even thoughmen could never, you are
handling it.
So I'm just gonna put that outthere.
But here's something else Ihave to say, and I've mentioned
a few times individualdifferences are a really big
deal here.
Not every woman experiencesthese symptoms in the same way.
There are plenty of women Iknow who enjoyed the postpartum
(22:39):
period way better than theyenjoyed the pregnancy period,
right?
Because their pregnancies weremiserable and they're and they
were like, oh, I'm finally notpregnant, and they were able to
like enjoy that phase.
That was not my experience.
I was cute as a button when Iwas pregnant.
That was not my situation.
Nothing was normal after that.
(23:00):
Yeah.
Some women with higher traitimpulsivity or emotional
sensitivity are especiallyvulnerable to estrogen
fluctuations, especially asthese life cycles play out.
Um, if you're someone who feelslike you go from zero to
completely overwhelmed in twoand a half seconds when your
hormones are shifting, that'snot a character flaw.
(23:22):
That's your brain chemistryresponding to hormonal changes
that you have no control over.
So I guess my bottom line hereis I just want to make sure you
understand you're dealing withthe monthly hormone fluctuations
in addition to the life cyclefluctuations.
And that's a lot for you to bedealing with.
(23:43):
And so that's that's why yourADHD is manageable one week, not
manageable the next week, andthen as you get older, less and
less manageable during certainweeks.
Whether you're a mom watchingyour teenage daughter who's
suddenly struggling in school,or you're dealing with
postpartum brain fog that feelscompletely impossible,
(24:08):
insurmountable, or you'rewondering why your 40s feel like
your ADHD has kicked into hardmode on Mario Kart, there are
real biological reasons forthat.
And again, remember that youcan't control any of it.
So the takeaway here is tostart tracking your symptoms
pretty closely, especiallyduring times of hormonal
(24:29):
transition.
And we'll get into more of thatmanagement, medication,
advocacy in the next episode.
So I want to remind you thathormones are central to the ADHD
experience for women, andthey're gonna require adjusting
your management strategies,which we've given you plenty of
throughout this whole ADHDseries as life cycle stages
(24:53):
progress for you and monthly asyour hormones fluctuate with
your cycle.
Next week, we're talking aboutthose practical things like
medication adjustments, advocacystrategies, and management so
that you can work with yourhormones instead of trying to
fight them.
Understanding all of this isgonna be step one for you so
(25:13):
that you can go in and use thosestrategies that we've provided.
So, yeah, step I what I wrotewas because understanding what's
happening is step one.
And step two is knowing whatthe hell to do about it.
Yeah.
I'm gonna offer you theseadditional listener questions
for reflection because I think,again, important to consider
what's going on in your ownbrain.
Did your ADHD symptoms changedramatically during puberty,
(25:35):
pregnancy, or perimenopause?
Yes.
Yes.
Uh have you noticed patternsand how your symptoms shift
during different life phases?
Yeah.
Maybe.
If you're a mom, are you seeingsigns of ADHD in your daughter
as she goes through puberty?
Ariella Monti (25:53):
Don't have a daughter.
Caitlin Kindred (25:55):
I don't either.
No, I only have a son.
But I've heard good thingsabout daughters.
I am one.
I think my parents would saythey're pretty cool.
And uh, I know people who dohave them, and they seem
awesome.
Either way, we want to hearfrom you.
Some of my best friends havedaughters.
Some some most of my bestfriends are daughters.
(26:16):
So it really works out.
Ariella Monti (26:18):
Yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (26:19):
I would say we're pretty awesome.
Um, either way, I want to hearfrom you.
I know Ariella does too.
These experiences are reallyimportant, and you have a
community of people behind youwho, you know, want to help you
feel less alone.
And we'll get in again a littlebit more into that.
But please send us a DM, sendus an email.
We'd love to hear yourexperiences here, and and we
(26:39):
maybe we can share some of them,or either way, we'll just
empathize because we get it.
We'll be right back.
Okay, y'all.
POV, you find a diary exposingforbidden magic, and the hot
museum caretaker's life dependson you burning it.
Roots and Inc., the debut novelby Ariella Monti, is the
(27:00):
fantasy romance for rebels.
Use promo code CK and GK to get20% off your copy at
arielemonty.com.
Again, that's all caps at C K AN D G K for 20% off on
Arielamonti.com.
Get your copy for 20% offtoday.
Okay, um I did something that Idon't I would I would consider
(27:32):
this peak parenting.
Okay.
Let's talk about it.
Let's talk about it.
I like how I said that to youand then I just completely
stopped talking.
Uh where are the words?
So this goes out to all themillennials out there who
remember the original memes.
(27:53):
I wouldn't say memes.
These were these were the OGthings we laughed about before
memes.
One of them was every collegeguy yelling, What did the five
fingers say to the face?
Slap because of Dave Chappelle,which is it still remains one
of the funniest Dave Chappellesketches I've ever seen in my
(28:14):
entire life.
And I've watched many because Iloved that show.
The other one was Tom StarRunner.
And for whatever reason, thismorning, my I had in my head
burninating the countryside,burninating the peasants.
And I, of course, needed tosing it.
(28:35):
And my nine-year-old looks atme and he is like, uh, what?
Why?
Who's Trogdor?
So we had to have a life.
Trogdor! If you do not knowwhat I'm talking about, you need
to go look up strong badtrogdor, t-o-g D-O-R, Trogdor on
(28:55):
YouTube.
Because, or just go find theHome Star Runner channel on
YouTube.
Because did you know that's athing?
Because I found it thismorning.
You can go watch all the oldHome Star Runner videos.
It's amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So yeah, my son now knowsFernanating the Countryside.
S more different S.
And my son is a very talentedartist.
(29:18):
He draws amazing things.
And he was watching Strongbaddraw, and he was like, Mom, this
is this is so painful.
I cannot watch him draw thisdragon.
And I was like, no, it's it'sgood.
Watch him put the wing a lingson it.
The one muscular arm.
Well, and he starts out drawingit with like muscular arms and
(29:40):
legs, and then he's like, that'snot natural.
Tackling, tackling over thesevideos.
And my son is looking at melike, I don't know what's
funnier.
Like my mom's reaction to liketruna or
Ariella Monti (30:00):
This stupid dragon.
Listen, strong bed and trogdoorblow skibity toilet.
Out of the water.
Out of the toilet.
Caitlin Kindred (30:12):
Out of the water.
There's no.
Yeah.
These are all it's what theheck?
Skibity toilet?
No, it's so dumb.
Or what's the one that my sonkeeps saying these days?
Six, seven.
Oh my gosh, I can't with thatone.
That one is bad.
And then he changed it to likefour one.
It's not worth knowing.
Thank goodness.
It's not worth knowing.
It's nothing, it's stupid.
(30:33):
You don't need to look it up.
It's dumb.
It's just a meme that waspopularized by a basketball
player.
It's not a big deal, butDrogdoor is classic and that
will live on.
That's like saying, but I am letired.
It's like just one of those,you know, it just will live on
forever.
Do you remember that?
But I am le tired.
I I do it's the WTF mate video.
Ariella Monti (30:55):
But for like for the life of me, I can't remember
like where it came from.
You know, like I don't rememberwhere it originated, but I
remember that particular clip.
Caitlin Kindred (31:10):
It's there's a video that everybody was also
saying at that time, which wasWTF mate, and it was like about
like global conflict.
And it was a French woman who'slike, but I'm le tired.
Um my friend Elsie says, I amle tired all the time, and it
(31:31):
makes me laugh.
And I I picked it up from her.
So, but it's it's that it'sthat vibe.
Uh, and the other thing Itaught my son in addition to
this was the time was the llamasong.
Do you remember the llama song?
It's it's dumb.
It's like, here's a llama,there's a llama, and another
little llama.
It's dumb, it's dumb, it'sdumb.
But when hyperlinks wererelatively new in college, and
(31:56):
we people were, you know, usingaim to chat with each other.
Yes.
I used to send one time my myroommate and I were, shall we
say, not with it.
We'll just use those thatlanguage, with some jello that
had that been spiked.
And we started sending myboyfriend at the time, who's now
my husband, hyperlinks to thellama song.
(32:19):
And he kept clicking on it.
Ariella Monti (32:21):
And we it was so you were brick rolling him with
the room.
Caitlin Kindred (32:25):
We were rick rolling him with the llama song.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was really funny.
And I and I was telling that tomy son.
I was like, look, here's thehere, here's how I really made
your dad mad.
I sent him this song.
And then he like tried to getAlexa to play it.
And I was like, no, no, no.
We don't need to, we don't needto poke the bear right now.
We like we can you and I cansing the llamasong to each
(32:46):
other, but we don't need to makedad turn here.
Yeah I'm just I was justwaiting to see what his face
would be.
Anyway, uh that's a littleglimpse into our millennial life
right now.
I love it.
Little Homestar Runner, alittle strong bad, little
trogdor, a little llama song.
And we're gonna wrap this upbecause I am lit tired.
Okay, bite.
Learned about this that there was a study
done, I think it was like 2013,that was that singing actually
is one of those things thatreleases endorphins.
And as we know, endorphins makeyou happy.
Happy people don't shoot theirhusbands.
Right.
Uh, but like it, it's a thing.
That's why singing in the carfeels so good.
Like it's a, it's a, it's anenergy boost.
(00:22):
It and it's a uh it releasesoxytocin and endorphins, which
both are like feel-goodchemicals in the brain.
Ariella Monti (00:30):
I have a playlist called Scream It Out.
Yeah, and it's like all of thethe songs that I love to scream
sing in the car.
And like I think I I think Istarted it during the pandemic
when I would yeah, and then Ijust like keep it going and just
(00:52):
add more to it.
I just yeah, either add or likeyou know, after a while, like
then you get ADHD, likeeventually get tired of certain
songs.
Yeah, I'll pull them, you know,yeah, pull them a rotation.
But yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (01:06):
Yeah.
I had a when I lived inColorado, there there was a
radio station that is verypopular there.
It's 97.3 KBCO, and it's agreat station for anyone who
likes um kind of like Americanameets like indie rock and then
some rock and roll music.
It's got a it's got a littlebit of everything there,
honestly.
Um, it's a great station.
(01:28):
And you could submit like threesong sets to them and win
tickets.
And I submitted a three-songset of Scream Sing songs.
It's like one of them was likeKeen, and then which who, by the
way, if you know who Keen is,anyone listening.
Yeah, exactly.
That face says a lot.
It was like Keen, Lorde, andsomething else.
(01:49):
Anyway, but it was all like abunch of songs that I could
totally just belt out in thesong.
They made me or in uh in thecar made me feel so good to sing
them.
And I actually, when Isubmitted it, I won Counting
Crows tickets to Red Rocks.
Ariella Monti (02:02):
Yes, Counting Crows.
Caitlin Kindred (02:05):
Yeah, it was great.
And I also have there's astation here in Austin that
plays kind of like 90s and 2000srock, and it's it made me very
happy.
Like yesterday, 311 came onFilter Take My Picture and
Filter.
Ariella Monti (02:21):
Oh my god.
Caitlin Kindred (02:23):
That was one of my favorite songs.
I loved that song, and it'slike you know that song's based
on a true story where he waslike, No, not exactly there were
some substances, and he endedup like naked on a plane.
Yeah, that's it, yeah.
It was kind of yeah, that'sanyway.
Hey guys, we're you're here,and we're happy to have you.
(02:43):
Uh so this is how to be agrown-up.
This is the how-to show forwomen who miss the days when
liking something just meant allyou had to do was nod your head.
I mean, this is that personthat you hear laughing at me.
Hopefully, I have my jokes.
She can laugh at me too.
I don't care, honestly.
(03:04):
If there's nothing, she canlaugh at me, she could because
she'll also lift me up at thesame time, so it all works out.
Um, this is Ariella Monti,she's a novelist, and she is a
caffeine-powered brainstormingsession in human form.
Ariella Monti (03:16):
And the wind beneath your wings.
Caitlin Kindred (03:19):
Yes.
Oh my god.
Picture this, if you will.
You're 13 and suddenly youcan't focus on anything.
Is it because your boy iscrazy?
No, it's not.
Or you're pregnant and yourbrain feels like mush.
Or you're 45, just not that faraway for us.
(03:41):
And wondering if you're losingyour mind because words just
disappear mid-sentence and it'sreally hot all of a sudden.
Uh, I'm gonna tell you here,these are not separate problems.
These are all the same thing.
These are your brain respondingto major hormonal shifts in
your life.
So this is part two of our ADHDin hormones series.
(04:02):
Last time we covered the basicsof like hormones 101, why
estrogen is your brain's bestfriend and progesterone is a
brat, uh, and not the good kindof brat, right?
Um kind, not the fun kind.
Um, their influences on eachphase of your menstrual cycle
and what those mean for yoursymptoms.
What?
(04:23):
Serious topic.
Can you tell Ariella writescertain kinds of books for a
living?
Brattiness.
Ariella Monti (04:40):
Words have so many new meanings.
Caitlin Kindred (04:49):
Oh, don't look up brat material on Etsy, okay?
Just don't do that.
Unless you have a certainlifestyle choice, don't do it.
But no, no, you do it too.
Don't tell me what to do.
Don't tell me what to look upon Etsy.
(05:11):
You're gonna you're gonna findsome things you didn't know
existed.
I'm just gonna tell you thatright now.
Um like the time when my friendAshley and I were watching a
professional development sessionat school at a very, very
conservative Christian school.
And this man had a like HarryPotter remote control wand that
(05:34):
he was using to like selectpeople.
And I was like, that's so cool.
I want that.
And what do Ashley and I do?
Immediately look up magic wandon our phones during the
professional developmentsession.
Oh, I got a look from my boss,from my principal.
I was in so much trouble.
Like we were just over therecackling, like, oh shoot, why
(05:56):
did we do that?
That's anyway, that is not thepoint.
The point is those hormones,estrogen and progesterone, are
very, very influential in yourlife.
They have fluctuationsthroughout not just your cycle,
but also your life phases.
And so if you haven't listenedto that previous episode of our
(06:17):
intro, like please go do thatbecause it kind of gives you the
rundown of what you need toknow before we get into this
one.
But today we're going to getinto kind of a nitty-gritty of
your life cycles.
So how your ADHD symptomschange throughout different life
phases and why some periods ofyour life periods, oh my gosh,
feel like ADHD is ramped up.
(06:38):
And there's, you know, there'sso much science here.
I I'm I I'm not a scienceteacher, but I should have been.
I would have known a lot more.
There's actual science behindwhy your teenage years, why
pregnancy, why menopause mighthave felt or currently feel like
they're absolutely chaotic ifyou have ADHD.
If you are an ADHD mom, likeyou're a mom with ADHD, or a
(07:00):
parent of an ADHD daughter.
First of all, if you're aparent of an ADHD daughter and
you don't have ADHD, maybe justreassess because there's a good
chance that you do.
Um, but this episode is foryou.
Please make sure you'refollowing, subscribe to this
show.
And if you haven't left us areview yet and you are a
listener, please do that.
It means so much to us.
(07:21):
We currently have a 4.9, a 4-9on Apple Podcasts.
And yet for some reason, we'renot ranking.
So I would love it if we couldget some more reviews.
Maybe I'll even put them on ourwebsite.
Who knows?
Be awesome.
Anyway, let's get into this.
If you could see the list ofsources that I used, it is
(07:41):
massive.
I it was so hard.
It was so hard to put all thistogether.
Um, there's a couple of uh oneof them I have listed here
twice, which is not great.
Um, anyway, there were a couplethat were pretty prominent.
So again, Chad, the website, cha d chad.org.
Attitude mag.
(08:01):
This is a new website I'd neverheard of before.
Adept, A-D-D-E-A-E-P-T, Adept.
Kind of clever.
Ariella Monti (08:08):
I think I've come across it.
Caitlin Kindred (08:10):
Okay.
Ariella Monti (08:11):
I don't know anything about it.
Caitlin Kindred (08:13):
A few of these were like actual, you know,
research studies that I wouldlike to see a quote and I was
like, oh, we have to somehowwork that in.
So there's a few from PMC,which is a research aggregate.
There's a very focusedresearcher who's very focused on
this topic.
Her name is Ashley G.
Eng.
She is looking into hormonaleffects of ADHD on women during
different phases of life.
So I used her stuff, ScienceDirect, um, Health Mine
(08:38):
Understood.
The whole list is on the blogpost for this episode.
Please go check out some ofthose sources.
There, there's some fascinatinginformation there.
Um and ADHD or sorry, AttitudeMags article, we demand into
attention.
Oh my gosh, can I start thatover?
We demand attention on howhormonal changes impact ADHD
(08:59):
symptoms in women.
Yes, we do.
Because as I said in the lastepisode, patriarchy is part of
the problem when it comes to whyyour meds don't work during
certain times of the month.
So, anyway, all those sourcesand mentions.
But before we dive into this, Iwant to share a couple of stats
that I learned that make meangry.
(09:19):
And get your middle fingersready for the patriarchy.
Okay, here we go.
94% of women with ADHD saytheir symptoms get worse during
perimenopause and menopause.
94%.
That's not a coincidence.
That's a pattern.
That's real.
Ariella Monti (09:35):
Yep.
Caitlin Kindred (09:36):
More than half of women with ADHD describe this
period as the most difficultADHD-wise in their entire lives.
Ariella Monti (09:43):
I believe it.
Caitlin Kindred (09:46):
We are talking about women who've been managing
ADHD for decades and suddenlythey feel like they've lost
their instruction manual for howany of this like works.
Like what?
Yeah.
So all of these researcharticles kept saying the same
thing over and over again, whichis partly why I use so many,
(10:07):
because I was looking into thisand I'm going, wait, this one
says it.
Now this one says it.
Now this one says it.
So I'm just gonna put this outthere.
Science.
On this, on this podcast, webelieve in science.
If you are not a scienceperson, hardcore.
Yeah.
If you're not a science person,stop listening.
Bye.
Uh just gonna I'm like, listen,I'm not, I'm here.
Beggars can't be choosers whenit comes to listeners, but I'm
(10:28):
gonna say this now.
You need to believe in scienceif you're gonna be an enjoyer of
this show.
Anyway, science is clear.
It's the drops in estrogen, notjust the absolute amount of
estrogen in your body, but theactual physical drop that send
your ADHD symptoms intooverdrive.
Okay.
So if you remember from thelast episode, if you listened,
(10:48):
if you didn't go.
Bye.
See you later.
Come back.
Estrogen is your brain'spersonal assistant, it's your
brain's best friend.
When it suddenly quits withoutnotice, if you don't have if you
had a personal assistant whothen quits without notice,
everything falls apart, right?
So that's what's happeninghere.
So let's get into the actuallife phases.
So moms of girls in puberty orabout to be in puberty, here you
(11:11):
go.
Level one, puberty.
Or when ADHD crashes thehormone party.
I'm so good at this contentwriting.
So you or your daughter arecruising through elementary
school.
Maybe you're struggling alittle bit, but you're managing,
and then all of a sudden,puberty hits like a freight
(11:31):
train and it's carrying hormonesas cargo.
So for girls with ADHD, pubertyoften reveals symptoms that
were previously hidden or underthe radar.
Those hormone surges don't justchange your body, they're
obviously changing your brain,and they're rewiring pretty much
(11:52):
everything within your brain'schemistry.
So here's what's going on.
Remember progesterone, the it'scomplicated, friend?
It spikes and startsinterfering with your estrogen's
cognitive benefits, likedopamine production.
So all of a sudden, anxiety andirritability become harder to
(12:14):
manage.
Your impulsivity goes throughthe roof, and whatever
organizational system that youhad is now gone and or no longer
working.
And that happens to everyone,right?
That's what the body is doingin puberty.
However, for dopamine depletedfolks, everything is ramped up,
(12:38):
right?
And that's why you might hearwomen say, like, I was fine
until middle or high school.
Uh, and then everything fellapart.
It's not that you got lazy orthat you stopped caring.
It's that your brain chemistrycompletely shifted and now no
one told and no one told youthat was what was going on.
You learned in your, you know,middle school sex ed class that,
(12:58):
like, oh, women's bodies aredoing this thing.
Imagine the most beautifulflower you've ever seen.
But that's the kind of stuffthat you were told.
Right.
But you weren't told about theactual science behind what's
happening.
And if you don't know that youhave ADHD because you're an
elementary student and it's yoursymptoms aren't pronounced,
then you really have no clue asto what's going on.
(13:19):
Right.
So and then after puberty, youkind of, you know, things sort
of start to level out.
You maybe you have your ADHDmeds or whatever it is, and
you're kind of plugging along,and then you go through those
monthly cyclical issues wetalked about in the last
episode.
But then, should you choose tohave a child, pregnancy and
(13:41):
postpartum start to start toshow some new things.
This is if you have if you havebeen pregnant and birthed a
child, this is gonna soundfamiliar, especially if you have
ADHD, but this is like such ahormone roller coaster for
everyone who's has beenpregnant.
It's insane.
If your regular monthly hormonechanges are like riding a bike,
(14:06):
being pregnant is like beingstrapped to a rocket ship.
If we can make that connectionhere.
So during pregnancy, some womenfeel like they have superpowers
because of the estrogen boostthat is involved in being
pregnant.
However, progesterone alsospikes during this time as your
body goes into overdrive,producing the chemicals that are
(14:27):
needed to keep a baby alive inyour body.
So some people feel like theirbrain gets replaced with cotton
balls.
It's honestly a crapshoot.
It just depends on your body'schemistry, and everybody's
chemistry is different.
Then during postpartum, and wementioned this in the last
episode, I think Ariel and Iboth had a much harder time in
postpartum than we did duringpregnancy.
Postpartum is when things kindof get real for people.
(14:48):
Your hormone levels duringpostpartum don't just drop.
They're legitimatelyplummeting.
And it happens like immediatelyafter birth.
These hormone levels just startto just hit the ground.
And for women with ADHD, it'ssort of this perfect storm of
all of these different things,again, which we mentioned in our
last episode, which is anincreased risk of postpartum
(15:10):
depression.
And I'm also gonna say probablypostpartum anxiety, because
ultimately ADHD does kind ofmess manifest itself as an
anxiety disorder.
Dramatic changes in focus andenergy.
And this is not just like thebaby is not sleeping, so I'm not
sleeping.
This is also additional focusissues on top of the exhaustion
focus issues.
(15:31):
And then any executivefunctioning that you have that
just feels completely gone,broken, whatever it is.
Yeah.
Out the door.
Completely.
And I thought it was like,well, you know, I can't get up.
I'm strapped to the couchbecause if I move, he's he's
gonna wake up and he neversleeps.
So I can't, I can't move rightnow.
So nothing's gonna get done.
(15:52):
I really thought that's what itwas.
It's not, it wasn't that.
It was so much more deep thanthat from my experience.
Many women get their first ADHDdiagnosis during or after
pregnancy because of theseissues that are um now unmasked
due to all those hormonalchanges.
(16:13):
Um, again, previouslymanageable symptoms, not good,
but manageable, are completelyunmanageable.
And again, I'm gonna say thisis not to say that people
without ADHD are functioninglike normal humans in the
pregnancy and postpartum phase.
I don't mean that at all.
I mean that it's just amplifiedfor these ADHD uh people.
(16:38):
So I said level one and leveltwo.
I called this one the finalboss level.
Perimenopause and menopause.
Um, if you thought that theteenage hormone surge was rough,
yes.
Also, welcome to perimenopauseand menopause, where estrogen
doesn't just fluctuate, itgradually packs its bags and
(17:02):
leaves town.
We're good.
Bye.
Um, so here's what almost everywoman in their 40s and 50s with
ADHD experiences.
Uh forgetfulness that feelslife altering.
It's not just where did I putmy keys, but also what was I
saying mid-sentence?
Mental fatigue that makes youuh feel like you are literally
(17:23):
trying to think throughmolasses, which I have
experienced fairly recently, andthat is that is really hard.
Ariella Monti (17:29):
Yes, that is uh granted, I think undi untreated
sleep apnea is making thatworse.
But yes, the constantly feelinglike speaking this sentence is
taking a lot of thought and alot of effort that it really
(17:54):
wouldn't, like if we were havingthis conversation like five
years ago.
Caitlin Kindred (17:58):
Yeah.
I don't, and I I'm gonna say Idon't know what that is, but I'm
telling you what that is.
Ariella Monti (18:03):
Yeah, yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (18:04):
It's horrible issues.
Um, and again, we know thatthese issues are pronounced for
women with and without ADHDs,right?
It it's not a it's it's notunique, it's not a unique
experience.
It's just that this is againamplified to the point where you
truly feel non-functioning.
Word finding trouble.
Your vocabulary literallydisappears on you, which happens
(18:27):
regularly on this show.
Ariella Monti (18:28):
So you probably know exactly what we're talking
about.
Do you realize how howobnoxious this is as a writer?
Like I do somebody somebody wholike uses words for a living.
All of my drafts have little,like, I'll put uh something
(18:49):
close to what I'm looking forand then highlight it with a
comment that usually sayssomething like, not this word,
but something like it.
Yes.
Caitlin Kindred (19:01):
Yeah, some of my drafts say stuff like that
where it's like, this isn't theword, but it's close to what I
mean.
I'll have that.
Also, fairly recently, and thishas happened to me one other
time before, but I could notthink of the word have as in I
have a podcast or I have redhair.
So I use the word half as in50%.
(19:24):
Yep.
All over this item, all over,because the word have did not
come to my brain.
And there was, wasn't there uhjust a recent video that came
out of like a woman who can'tsay who mixes up ketchup and
mayonnaise or ketchup andmustard or something?
Oh my gosh, now I'm makingballoons on my screen.
What am I doing?
(19:45):
At least once an episode.
But she does something whereshe's like, here, chatch up and
and and then she can't figureout what it is.
And she's like, chatch up,chatch up, chuck.
And she can't get it right, butit's ketchup, she can't say the
word.
Ariella Monti (19:58):
Yeah, it's I haven't seen it, but I have
experienced it.
Caitlin Kindred (20:03):
Yeah.
It and I'm watching this going,this is hilarious.
And oh my gosh, I understandexactly how she's feeling
because she knows the word iswrong, but she can't fix it.
So that's yeah.
The other one that is commonfor women in uh perimenopause
and menopause is emotionaloverwhelm.
It feels completelydisproportionate to what's
(20:24):
actually happening.
And again, because people withADHD struggle so much with
emotional regulation, it's justamplified in this situation.
So let's get into the science.
Ready?
And I love this line that Iwrote.
I'm so proud of it.
Let's get nerdy for a hot flashminute.
(20:44):
Welcome.
You're welcome.
Because this stuff is actuallyreally fascinating to me.
So here's menstrual cyclestudies.
Here's what we know.
Researchers followed youngwomen throughout their cycles
and found that ADHD symptoms,especially inattention and
impulsivity, literally doublewhen estrogen drops after
ovulation.
Double.
So estrogen directly stimulatesdopamine and serotonin
(21:10):
receptors in your brain.
These are the exact circuitsthat are involved in executive
function and emotionalregulation, which is the stuff
that ADHD messes with, right?
So when your estrogen dips,your dopamine drops, and all of
your ADHD symptoms spike.
One researcher said perfectlyduring the follicular phase,
(21:33):
when estrogen levels rise, ADHDsymptoms are lowest and focus
improves.
But during the luteal phase,when estrogen drops and
progesterone rises, symptomslike forgetfulness and
impulsivity spike.
Okay.
It's not in your head.
Brain chemistry.
Um those because those hormone,because estrogen is so involved
(21:55):
in those phases of your life,you can see how you are all
you're dealing with these cycleslike at what's the word?
Consec no, concurrently.
So you're having those monthlyhormonal changes while you're
also dealing with those lifephases.
So it's a lot for you to dealwith all at the same time.
(22:17):
And your body just does itsomehow naturally, even though
I'm just gonna say men couldnever.
Men could never, even thoughmen could never, you are
handling it.
So I'm just gonna put that outthere.
But here's something else Ihave to say, and I've mentioned
a few times individualdifferences are a really big
deal here.
Not every woman experiencesthese symptoms in the same way.
There are plenty of women Iknow who enjoyed the postpartum
(22:39):
period way better than theyenjoyed the pregnancy period,
right?
Because their pregnancies weremiserable and they're and they
were like, oh, I'm finally notpregnant, and they were able to
like enjoy that phase.
That was not my experience.
I was cute as a button when Iwas pregnant.
That was not my situation.
Nothing was normal after that.
(23:00):
Yeah.
Some women with higher traitimpulsivity or emotional
sensitivity are especiallyvulnerable to estrogen
fluctuations, especially asthese life cycles play out.
Um, if you're someone who feelslike you go from zero to
completely overwhelmed in twoand a half seconds when your
hormones are shifting, that'snot a character flaw.
(23:22):
That's your brain chemistryresponding to hormonal changes
that you have no control over.
So I guess my bottom line hereis I just want to make sure you
understand you're dealing withthe monthly hormone fluctuations
in addition to the life cyclefluctuations.
And that's a lot for you to bedealing with.
(23:43):
And so that's that's why yourADHD is manageable one week, not
manageable the next week, andthen as you get older, less and
less manageable during certainweeks.
Whether you're a mom watchingyour teenage daughter who's
suddenly struggling in school,or you're dealing with
postpartum brain fog that feelscompletely impossible,
(24:08):
insurmountable, or you'rewondering why your 40s feel like
your ADHD has kicked into hardmode on Mario Kart, there are
real biological reasons forthat.
And again, remember that youcan't control any of it.
So the takeaway here is tostart tracking your symptoms
pretty closely, especiallyduring times of hormonal
(24:29):
transition.
And we'll get into more of thatmanagement, medication,
advocacy in the next episode.
So I want to remind you thathormones are central to the ADHD
experience for women, andthey're gonna require adjusting
your management strategies,which we've given you plenty of
throughout this whole ADHDseries as life cycle stages
(24:53):
progress for you and monthly asyour hormones fluctuate with
your cycle.
Next week, we're talking aboutthose practical things like
medication adjustments, advocacystrategies, and management so
that you can work with yourhormones instead of trying to
fight them.
Understanding all of this isgonna be step one for you so
(25:13):
that you can go in and use thosestrategies that we've provided.
So, yeah, step I what I wrotewas because understanding what's
happening is step one.
And step two is knowing whatthe hell to do about it.
Yeah.
I'm gonna offer you theseadditional listener questions
for reflection because I think,again, important to consider
what's going on in your ownbrain.
Did your ADHD symptoms changedramatically during puberty,
(25:35):
pregnancy, or perimenopause?
Yes.
Yes.
Uh have you noticed patternsand how your symptoms shift
during different life phases?
Yeah.
Maybe.
If you're a mom, are you seeingsigns of ADHD in your daughter
as she goes through puberty?
Ariella Monti (25:53):
Don't have a daughter.
Caitlin Kindred (25:55):
I don't either.
No, I only have a son.
But I've heard good thingsabout daughters.
I am one.
I think my parents would saythey're pretty cool.
And uh, I know people who dohave them, and they seem
awesome.
Either way, we want to hearfrom you.
Some of my best friends havedaughters.
Some some most of my bestfriends are daughters.
(26:16):
So it really works out.
Ariella Monti (26:18):
Yeah.
Caitlin Kindred (26:19):
I would say we're pretty awesome.
Um, either way, I want to hearfrom you.
I know Ariella does too.
These experiences are reallyimportant, and you have a
community of people behind youwho, you know, want to help you
feel less alone.
And we'll get in again a littlebit more into that.
But please send us a DM, sendus an email.
We'd love to hear yourexperiences here, and and we
(26:39):
maybe we can share some of them,or either way, we'll just
empathize because we get it.
We'll be right back.
Okay, y'all.
POV, you find a diary exposingforbidden magic, and the hot
museum caretaker's life dependson you burning it.
Roots and Inc., the debut novelby Ariella Monti, is the
(27:00):
fantasy romance for rebels.
Use promo code CK and GK to get20% off your copy at
arielemonty.com.
Again, that's all caps at C K AN D G K for 20% off on
Arielamonti.com.
Get your copy for 20% offtoday.
Okay, um I did something that Idon't I would I would consider
(27:32):
this peak parenting.
Okay.
Let's talk about it.
Let's talk about it.
I like how I said that to youand then I just completely
stopped talking.
Uh where are the words?
So this goes out to all themillennials out there who
remember the original memes.
(27:53):
I wouldn't say memes.
These were these were the OGthings we laughed about before
memes.
One of them was every collegeguy yelling, What did the five
fingers say to the face?
Slap because of Dave Chappelle,which is it still remains one
of the funniest Dave Chappellesketches I've ever seen in my
(28:14):
entire life.
And I've watched many because Iloved that show.
The other one was Tom StarRunner.
And for whatever reason, thismorning, my I had in my head
burninating the countryside,burninating the peasants.
And I, of course, needed tosing it.
(28:35):
And my nine-year-old looks atme and he is like, uh, what?
Why?
Who's Trogdor?
So we had to have a life.
Trogdor! If you do not knowwhat I'm talking about, you need
to go look up strong badtrogdor, t-o-g D-O-R, Trogdor on
(28:55):
YouTube.
Because, or just go find theHome Star Runner channel on
YouTube.
Because did you know that's athing?
Because I found it thismorning.
You can go watch all the oldHome Star Runner videos.
It's amazing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So yeah, my son now knowsFernanating the Countryside.
S more different S.
And my son is a very talentedartist.
(29:18):
He draws amazing things.
And he was watching Strongbaddraw, and he was like, Mom, this
is this is so painful.
I cannot watch him draw thisdragon.
And I was like, no, it's it'sgood.
Watch him put the wing a lingson it.
The one muscular arm.
Well, and he starts out drawingit with like muscular arms and
(29:40):
legs, and then he's like, that'snot natural.
Tackling, tackling over thesevideos.
And my son is looking at melike, I don't know what's
funnier.
Like my mom's reaction to liketruna or
Ariella Monti (30:00):
This stupid dragon.
Listen, strong bed and trogdoorblow skibity toilet.
Out of the water.
Out of the toilet.
Caitlin Kindred (30:12):
Out of the water.
There's no.
Yeah.
These are all it's what theheck?
Skibity toilet?
No, it's so dumb.
Or what's the one that my sonkeeps saying these days?
Six, seven.
Oh my gosh, I can't with thatone.
That one is bad.
And then he changed it to likefour one.
It's not worth knowing.
Thank goodness.
It's not worth knowing.
It's nothing, it's stupid.
(30:33):
You don't need to look it up.
It's dumb.
It's just a meme that waspopularized by a basketball
player.
It's not a big deal, butDrogdoor is classic and that
will live on.
That's like saying, but I am letired.
It's like just one of those,you know, it just will live on
forever.
Do you remember that?
But I am le tired.
I I do it's the WTF mate video.
Ariella Monti (30:55):
But for like for the life of me, I can't remember
like where it came from.
You know, like I don't rememberwhere it originated, but I
remember that particular clip.
Caitlin Kindred (31:10):
It's there's a video that everybody was also
saying at that time, which wasWTF mate, and it was like about
like global conflict.
And it was a French woman who'slike, but I'm le tired.
Um my friend Elsie says, I amle tired all the time, and it
(31:31):
makes me laugh.
And I I picked it up from her.
So, but it's it's that it'sthat vibe.
Uh, and the other thing Itaught my son in addition to
this was the time was the llamasong.
Do you remember the llama song?
It's it's dumb.
It's like, here's a llama,there's a llama, and another
little llama.
It's dumb, it's dumb, it'sdumb.
But when hyperlinks wererelatively new in college, and
(31:56):
we people were, you know, usingaim to chat with each other.
Yes.
I used to send one time my myroommate and I were, shall we
say, not with it.
We'll just use those thatlanguage, with some jello that
had that been spiked.
And we started sending myboyfriend at the time, who's now
my husband, hyperlinks to thellama song.
(32:19):
And he kept clicking on it.
Ariella Monti (32:21):
And we it was so you were brick rolling him with
the room.
Caitlin Kindred (32:25):
We were rick rolling him with the llama song.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was really funny.
And I and I was telling that tomy son.
I was like, look, here's thehere, here's how I really made
your dad mad.
I sent him this song.
And then he like tried to getAlexa to play it.
And I was like, no, no, no.
We don't need to, we don't needto poke the bear right now.
We like we can you and I cansing the llamasong to each
(32:46):
other, but we don't need to makedad turn here.
Yeah I'm just I was justwaiting to see what his face
would be.
Anyway, uh that's a littleglimpse into our millennial life
right now.
I love it.
Little Homestar Runner, alittle strong bad, little
trogdor, a little llama song.
And we're gonna wrap this upbecause I am lit tired.
Okay, bite.
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