Childhood Lessons You Must Unlearn (Ep. 4)

In most households and in schools, the rules for children are different from the rules for adults. But the time you reach adulthood, these childhood rules become obsolete and have to be abandoned. In this episode, we identify several of these childhood lessons that you must abandon in adult life, like that your own opinions...

The post Childhood Lessons You Must Unlearn (Ep. 4) appeared first on The Morpheus Clinic for Hypnosis.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Power is
analogous to a tool. Mhmm. Right? But there
comes a point where eventually you have to
allow your kid to fall over. It causes
2 people to suffer Mhmm.
Where 0 people have to suffer. 2 hours
hanging out with friends, talking about absolute nonsense.
And you're not these are not friends that

(00:20):
you can get anything out. Welcome to How
to be an Adult, a podcast created by
the practitioners at the Morpheus Clinic For Hypnosis
in Toronto Canada.
We've made this show for people just like
you who've virally become adults
and have no idea what to do about
it.
I'm Luke Chao. And I'm Pascal Langdell. And

(00:42):
whether you're 18 or 80, this is the
trail guide to life that you didn't get
when you gained equality with your parents.
We discuss these things
publicly in order to democratize
self assurance.
In this episode, we're going to be talking
about things you were told as a child
that become obsolete when you're an adult.

(01:03):
I'm gonna do something extremely out of character,
which is to quote the Bible. This is
the King James version. I was an English
graduate, so I think it's
fitting,
for that reason. This is from 1 Corinthians
13:11:
When I was a child,
I spake as a child.
I understood
as a child.

(01:24):
I thought as a child.
But when I became a man, I put
away childish things.
In today's episode, we're gonna speak about anti
principles.
The childish things to put away
now that you have reached adulthood
the first of these anti principles is that
you have to turn to other people people

(01:45):
in power people who are older than you
people who might be more knowledgeable
for validation
or permission
since your own
thoughts, values, discernment,
opinions, knowledge, etcetera,
are not good enough on their own. But
this is the attitude
not

(02:05):
of someone who's experienced and knowledgeable it's the
attitude of the student of the apprentice
and I want to point out that reputable
universities around the world give 23 year olds
the title of Master Master of Sciences Master
of Arts
and when it comes to the domains
of your life your thoughts your hopes goals

(02:28):
and dreams as an individual
to claim mastery
I think is
is no over statement.
When you've had at least 18 years
living your life in your body, in your
own head and heart,
You can value your own thoughts and opinions
about yourself. You can exercise

(02:49):
your taste when it comes to you.
Within that there's also the,
idea that you're,
you know, you're still gonna be a lifelong
learner. It's not like you're the finished article
And in fact, your tastes will change, your
understanding of yourself will change, and within that
your identity will change
throughout your life as well. So it's not
to say that you're it's it's a done

(03:10):
thing.
But there is a moment of which, you
know, being the the student, you've got to
start taking responsibility for yourself and start stepping
away from the master. In this case, the
apprenticeship is childhood.
Da Vinci
had an enormously long apprenticeship and partly because
he really really liked his master. But it
was almost
kind of

(03:31):
unheard of that you'd stay that long.
And there are some people who think that
well, it's because he basically had
an emotional codependency
with his master.
In contrast, I think it was Michelangelo was
like I'm out of here. I'm gonna go
do stuff. So, even if you're extraordinarily
clever, everything as far as the world might

(03:51):
be concerned, you're extremely accomplished. That doesn't actually
mean that you're actually taking that step.
I would guess that part way through his
apprenticeship. Mhmm.
Da Vinci
started to use his own eyes in the
absence of his master Mhmm. And he judged
his work with his own judgment. Mhmm. Let
me put this in a 21st century context.

(04:12):
Yes.
Getting dressed in the morning. Mhmm. Right. So
when you're 5 years old,
maybe your mom, your dad decides
here's what you're gonna wear today it's clean
and they think it's stylish
so you put it on
and then you realize after, you know, a
few years of elementary school

(04:33):
that
the other kids might or might not
accept what your parents had put on you
in the morning. This opinion might contradict with
what your parents might want for you,
But we do reach an age where we
can dress ourselves in the morning
based on a combination of practicality
as well as fashion. We all, at some

(04:56):
point in our lives,
you know, have to trust ourselves in in
the morning quite literally.
And it you know it's usually before we
turn 18 but definitely once we reach our
twenties
we don't
even want a parent choosing our clothing for
us.
And at that point, our taste, our sense
of aesthetics, our discernment,

(05:17):
our understanding of our own bodies our understanding
of how we want to present socially
all of this helps us decide
what ends up in in our closet in
the first place
as well as which item we're gonna pick
off the rack to to wear at any
given day.
So that's a very

(05:38):
modern and relatable example, I think, of where
we're no longer the apprentice turning
to mom or dad saying,
well how about this?
No? Well, okay.
In
so many areas of life in, you know,
like like,
what are you gonna stock your fridge with?
What are you gonna cook? Which career path

(05:59):
are you gonna take? Mhmm.
Where are you gonna go for university?
Some people get degrees, some don't.
You're 18
at least and even if you're 20, 30,
40, 50, 60, you may need to become
masters in different domains. So what's the difference?
And from what you're saying is that well,
there are some fundamental aspects

(06:21):
of being able to basically take care of
yourself. So you feed yourself correctly,
you can dress yourself in the morning, you
have,
idea you have, but work ethic that will
serve you and therefore serve others. That would
be an important one as well. Because that's
also what a university
is also about

(06:41):
is being able to is to give you
a work ethic, basically. So in some ways
it's not really about university. But it's about
stepping out into adulthood and throughout adulthood having
that attitude of there are some fundamental things
that I've already mastered at the age of
18 and everything on top of that
is bonus. Basically. The very the very least

(07:03):
that's what I can do and that in
itself is enough and then from that I
can master more things as I go through
life. Right. Well, university is where a lot
of people first learn how to like cook
Mhmm. And budget. Mhmm. And you know, to
shop for their own clothes and to to
these things we had to do for the
rest of our lives as adults.

(07:24):
You could argue that universities, when you're not
taking a program like law or engineering
they're finishing schools basically
they they take the rough form of a
high school graduate and it you turn them
into a well rounded citizen. Or you could
say that it's a rite of passage. Just
like we were talking about in the in
the first episode, you could say that for
a lot of people, universities, again less about
the degree
itself, but a rite of passage where they've

(07:46):
stepped away from the family that did the
things for them. And now they're in a
sort of
a relatively
supportive community, I would say,
that allows them to to start, you know,
taking the reins in their own life. Yeah.
And that's probably the closest thing that many
people have to a rite
rite of passage. Yeah. And as part of
that rite of passage to go from childhood

(08:07):
to adulthood
and to then have to leave behind childhood
lessons.
You leave behind the idea that your teachers
are going to get on your case
regarding the homework you've not yet submitted,
you have to let go of of the
idea that there's someone gonna be who's gonna
be hovering over you

(08:27):
to make sure you get dressed and you're
being driven to school and so on. So
for many people you're right, this is the
situation where being away from home especially,
people first
come into being
as adults.
So when I talk about mastery I'm not
really talking about, you know, me being anything

(08:48):
like Da Vinci. Mhmm. If I do hypnotherapy
very very very well, then maybe when I'm
60 or 80 years old, you know, I
could be recognized as a master of hypnotherapy.
But when it comes to getting dressed,
when it comes to what I'm gonna stock
my fridge
with. When it comes to these basic life
essentials, I absolutely do believe I've mastered them,

(09:11):
and I've mastered them in, let's say, my
early twenties.
The principle, the the anti principle that I
presented was that as an adult, you have
to turn to others for validation and permission.
So I think that in some occupational
contexts
or let's say that you're learning how to,
cave dive Mhmm. And you're 40,

(09:34):
you probably do want to turn to others
for validation
and their opinions.
But when it comes to the basic life
foundations and I'm gonna also include how to
make friends, how to,
be a decent person,
how to be a good neighbor. Mhmm. When
it comes to this kind of thing,
most people,

(09:54):
we would hope,
have mastered Mhmm. These life essentials
that will serve them for the remainder of
their lives
by their early twenties.
Mhmm. Have you ever come across
people who have not made that transition much
later in life?
Yes. And it's always
because of

(10:15):
I mean, I'm not sure if the term
helicopter parents
applies to adults.
It's
I mean, there are cultures where there
are intergenerational
households
and that's quite normal.
So I do see that.
And in other situations
it's parents

(10:35):
who would not let go
it's parents
who
extend
their adult
children's childhood. That's just the mother Gothel kind
of idea. Mother Gothel is is
trying to stop her daughter from basically maturing
and does everything that she can.

(10:56):
And in in a lot of narratives, a
parent that stops the adolescent from developing and
becoming an adult is in effect a monster.
It's it's one of the archetypal monsters. And
the reason for that is I think as
you suggest is that there's
something very
damaging
about the skills and perspectives of somebody who
has not been allowed to

(11:17):
test out and become an adult in their
own right. And the very fact that the
archetype exists at all suggests that this does
happen and that this is a this is
part of the part of the range of
human stories that have regularly played out across
generations.
My mind went to the Pink Floyd song
Mother. Right. Which is quite edible. Mhmm.
So I'm gonna quote from this song. Mother,

(11:39):
should I build the wall? Mother, should I
run for president? Mother, should I trust a
government?
Mother, will they put me on the firing
line? And then
it
switches to the mother's perspective.
Hush now, baby. Baby, don't you cry. Mama's
gonna make all your nightmares come true. Mama's
gonna put all her fears into you, mama's

(12:01):
gonna keep you right here under her wing,
she won't let you fly but she might
let you sing,
Mama's gonna keep baby cozy and warm.
Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby.
Of course, mama's gonna help
build the wall.
In the lyrics, it it paints the the
mother got the situation. So so then you

(12:23):
should think, well,
why is why does that even exist? And
part of it I think is that as
a
parent, at least for the first part of
a child's life,
they are absolutely dependent on you and you
have to swing all your ego basically in
the service of
this other creature. Mhmm. But there comes a

(12:43):
point where eventually you have to allow your
kid to fall over. You have to allow
your kid to make a mistake.
You have to allow your kid to be
foolish and it is so painful.
And so you can see that people who
again fear that pain or fear the lack
of reward, if you like, that they get
from have from being the,
the creature on which the the child depends.

(13:05):
It's a validation. It's a role. It's a,
you know, it's a it's a life's purpose,
if you see what I mean. It's very
fulfilling, if that's what you need. But at
some point you have to turn around and
go, okay, now I'm gonna be a parent,
I'm not gonna be your friend, and I'm
I'm not going to be your I'm going
to do better by you by allowing you
to do things I can watch and be
in distinct pain over. Mhmm. You know, and

(13:26):
it's a horrible thing to do. But you
understand why Yeah. Therefore this archetype exists.
I'm gonna do a slight detour Mhmm. Because
I I've had quite a number of clients
who are mothers
with adult children Mhmm. And they're still losing
sleep over their adult children. Yeah.
The message

(13:46):
I give to them that the attitude I
want them to adopt is that being a
mother to an adult child
is much more liberating
and gratifying
than being a mother to a newborn.
You know all of the sleeplessness
often dates back to when you actually had
to be sleepless for a newborn. But if

(14:07):
you do a good enough job, your kid
stays alive and then it reaches
the age of being a toddler and then
elementary school and then middle school and increasingly
the mother can breathe easy. And then by
the time they're seeing the kid off to
university, they can sleep a whole lot
better
because of their

(14:27):
diligence
earlier in the child's development.
This message
that being a mother to an adult child
is a lot more liberating, it's a lot
more
freeing
and relaxing and comfortable and peaceful
than being a mother to a newborn
this I think it's not just my clients
who sought out help with this it's I

(14:49):
think a lot of my listeners who are
older women
would benefit from hearing that. Mhmm. Yeah. Because
it's good for both the mother and the
child. Maybe you could also say what's to
use the the the Greek, phrase amor fati
meaning
looking back and seeing and appreciating the destiny
that got you here.
That means that there was a time when

(15:10):
that you were absolutely the carer of a
helpless being. Then there was a time where
that was slowly,
changed.
And the rewards of that time is
also painful. You have to be able to
step away from each of those times until
the point at which you can let go
of your son or your daughter. Mhmm. And,

(15:30):
as you say, still sleep easy. And that's
I can see how that process can be
stalled if somebody holds on for too long
for some other reasons. You see what I
mean? I would suggest that it's not necessarily
painful. Mhmm.
Or
if if we see If you watch a
kid, you know, and you're watching them and

(15:51):
and they're playing with matches and and you
told them not to and you kind of
think, well, I don't want them to burn
the house down so they're gonna have to
learn. It's painful, man. I mean, I haven't
done that. I just wanna say, that's not
what I I Well, you know, I I
have the luxury of kinda speculating upon parenthood.
Literally, I mean, childless. It it literally, it's
like So for instance, if my if my

(16:13):
kid is hanging over the banister. Yeah. Right?
Literally, I feel vertigo.
Yeah. It's a deeply visceral
reaction to whenever you see your kids doing
something that could harm them, when they would
jump down from a high space, it would
lit my guts would just go. It was
it's an extraordinary thing.
I can understand why in some ways having

(16:33):
that feeling and having
protected can be a sort of a very
compelling thing.
And
the ability to tolerate that, and this is
another tolerate discomfort,
right? That's gonna come up a few times.
Is that being able to tolerate that discomfort
incrementally over time is easier than if you're
holding on for too long then you have

(16:54):
to take it off. I mean, that's that's
hard. But either way, it's hard. There's nothing
there's no easy route down that road. I
think that
that must explain what
why so many for some reason it's usually
mothers more than the dad Mhmm. But it
explains why so many parents
cuddle.
Yeah. I I completely understand it.

(17:15):
They're adult children.
So the the question then is, you know,
if
you've
passed the age of 18
and and you have a parent who still
does this to you as though you can't
judge
the height you can safely jump from. Even
at the age of 40, even at the
age of 60, this could still be happening.
Right? That's what I kinda wanna talk my

(17:37):
clients out of when they are the parent.
Yeah. Because it it causes
2 people to suffer
where 0 people have to suffer.
The good news is that your parents are
not the only influence on you
And the opinions you choose to listen to
will,
I think, over time,

(17:59):
make a bigger impact.
But then
the the opinions you happen to grow up
around or opinions that just happened to come
from from your mother or your dad.
Alright. So let's talk about power
because another anti principle
that we have to let go of in
adulthood
is that

(18:20):
we are incapable
of handling
power
that we would be like a bull in
a china shop
if we were given the power to operate
a vehicle to make our own decisions to
act upon the world to to to do
things.
And I say it's an anti principle because

(18:40):
by adulthood
we all should have had
have developed an idea
for how we're gonna handle power
and authority
that there is such a thing as good
power or legitimate authority
that when wielded by
an adult
causes good things to happen in this world.

(19:03):
Right. Power is often, I think, mischaracterizes
in a in and of itself a bad
thing
and yet,
as you say, without
hierarchical
structures
where
some people have more control over things than
others and ideally they've earned that and ideally
they are competent adults. Right? And with that

(19:24):
competency
comes the responsibility.
The responsible
Mhmm. Use of power
and the effective use of power
has to
be based on, I would say, knowledge.
Right.
As well as a kind of morality
that considers
those you wield power over. Mhmm. And of

(19:44):
course there are big consequences when that doesn't
happen. When the responsibility and power
are
not integrated. So I was reading a story
about a professor who specializes
in or specialized in adolescent development.
He was run over and killed by a
kid who was driving a Lamborghini,
you know. Which we know is like

(20:05):
if you ever driven a race car or,
you know, a car like that, it's a
very different affair. And, you know, the fine
tuning on that, that's a huge amount of
responsibility and a huge amount of power. Mhmm.
And when it goes wrong, it goes terribly
wrong. It went terribly wrong on that occasion.
So if you look at that, you say
well that's a single event that shows the
power is wrong.
You know, I shouldn't give kids the keys

(20:25):
to cars.
Period.
Power
is analogous to a tool. Mhmm. Right? Like
the chef's knife that could should be used
to to, you know, make sushi,
to dice vegetables,
to
make food more palatable,
but
used carelessly. Mhmm. Even without malice,

(20:48):
it
can harm you or others.
And, of course, used
with malice
it is gonna harm
people.
Power is the same way
where used properly
you have excellent control over your vehicle
and
it's
only when

(21:09):
power is used carelessly
or
of course when power is used maliciously
that it rightfully
gets
the the flak, the criticism that it deserves.
Just because we can criticize abuses of power,
that doesn't mean there's no such thing as
legitimate use of power.

(21:30):
We talked in the first episode about
Ben Parker, He said, with great power comes
great responsibility. We can turn that on its
head.
Star Wars. Right?
Yes.
That Marvel movie is Star Wars.
So to return to the idea of power.
So as an adult
looking at power, you shouldn't, you know, it's

(21:51):
not correct to say that power is
automatically corrupt, evil, and bad.
It's not correct to deny the possibility
that you
will be in a position of power or
that you should even desire it. That that
is not necessarily a bad thing, but this
is dependent on
your
values, your morals,
your prosocial

(22:11):
attitude. That will define
the correct and beneficial use of power.
The next
anti principle Mhmm.
Is that you always ought to follow your
heart or that your feelings
are automatically
right
so as an adult I'm gonna say that

(22:33):
facts and mutual consensus
have to be taken into account in addition
to personal feelings.
If you're lucky others will account for your
personal feelings
but when it comes to what's gonna matter
for everyone
it's gonna be the facts
or a mutual consensus. I said that's a
that's a very enlightenment view. Is that right?

(22:55):
There are different
branches of
which is
probably beyond the scope of this early episode.
Consensus reality
is the view that reality
is that which we all agree upon Mhmm.
Is called consensus reality. Mhmm. Emotions
can distort reality.

(23:16):
Right? It can distort the way you perceive
things, it can distort the way that you
even the taste of things for example.
How you feel about things can change the
senses themselves. So that's why to some degree
you need some kind of consensus because you've
got to have somebody else say, you know,
if I point at that and you see
it and you can touch it and I
can point at it, see it and touch
it, we could agree on these same things

(23:36):
then at least there's 2 people that agree
that this thing is a real thing. But
of course, emotions are very internal,
right? So you don't necessarily have the ability
to know 100%
that your emotions are
correctly interpreting the situation.
I would say that emotions are just one
input.

(23:57):
In addition to how you feel about something
how you think about the thing is going
to matter too.
How other people might
think or feel about the thing should probably
be taken into account as we just talked
about.
Whether this thing seems to to to fit
your knowledge of similar situations

(24:18):
or is it anomalous? Yeah. That
might be useful information to consider. Is it
a single event? Is it a pattern? Is
it a Yeah. Is there is there Yeah.
There's there's the gathering of evidence that might
support the emotion. I'm full of metaphors. Okay.
But this one I think is universally resonant.
When I was a child, I

(24:39):
was often kept up by the imagining
of a monster that would eat my feet
if they hung out, like outside of the
blankets. Then I stopped believing
in or imagining
monsters in the dark or monsters under the
bed or monsters in the closet
and my feet have never been eaten.

(24:59):
When we reach adulthood
we might not believe in literal monsters and
the literal darkness,
but most of us
our entire adult lives
will still
imagine and believe in threats in the unknown.
Mhmm. So for example,
if I see an attractive woman sitting on

(25:21):
a park bench
and she's looking bored Mhmm.
My eyes
show me that she's sitting on a park
bench alone looking bored. Mhmm. In my imagination,
I imagined that if I walked up and
introduced myself,
she's gonna stand up point at me and
says look at this creep

(25:43):
or she's gonna otherwise
bite my head off
not that that's ever happened to me not
that I've ever seen that in public
but the human imagination
is vivid enough
that we could imagine this
adult version
of a monster in the dark
or a threat in the unknown

(26:03):
people imagine
threats on airplanes
people imagine threats in audiences that gather to
hear them
speak your worst fears
have a very bad track record
of predicting what actually happens Right. Usually what
happens is the mundane thing. Mhmm. And too
often we don't even think about the mundane

(26:24):
thing Yeah. Because it's so predictable and boring.
But I'm gonna highlight that word predictable in
there. If you want to make an accurate
prediction about what's going to happen when you
board the airplane,
when you speak to the group, when you
say hello to potentially a new friend or
neighbor or partner,
when you actually
do the thing, it's gonna be the boring

(26:45):
thing that happens over and over again. And
it's a natural tendency for a human being
to be susceptible to reasoning
and superstition
and revising history based on what makes them
look good or feel good.
And we can kind of excuse children who
do this
because they don't have enough years of life

(27:07):
experience to know any better.
Under the subject of how to be an
adult,
I would say that you've been taught enough
about critical thinking
and the pursuit of truth that
you don't have to fall back on just
emotion or instinct or superstition.

(27:28):
You can implement
what you've learned through school
to
value truth more highly, to value also the
methods through
which we ascertain truth. But I would also
suggest that maybe even if you don't learn
these things, life itself will
keep on reminding

(27:48):
you. Because if you trade your integrity, your
interpersonal relationships, your
work environment and your goals and you say
I will only
use my feelings
to define the reality in all those contexts.
Mhmm. Life is gonna turn and say, no.
And you'll be set to go, well, hang
on. This is how I feel. Yep. I

(28:09):
mean other people will turn around and say,
well, no. You know, it's not just you
who matters. Yes. Yes, exactly.
The next anti principle
is that you are being quote
lazy
when you are
doing nothing at all and
school as well as even very well meaning
parents instill this idea that

(28:32):
you are of value
when you have been productive. You are of
value when you have done something or achieved
something or have been in service to another.
So the principle I then have to instill
is that there is such a thing as
the purest pleasure of existence,

(28:52):
of being without doing
kind of like we imagine the tiger basking
in a sunbeam or the wolf sleeping in
his or her den
where they know that existence
life itself
is all the reason one needs
to relax and to be happy and

(29:15):
and one other thing I've been saying to
my clients who are you know typically very
overstressed.
It's not just that you have the purest
pleasure of existence
It's also that everything
like that that you would pursue
with no outside incentive Mhmm. Has intrinsic
Whereas everything that you only pursue with an

(29:37):
outside incentive doesn't have that much intrinsic value,
hence the incentive. Yeah. So so you would
say things like, I don't know, if you
have no outside incentive, you can read a
book that's got nothing to do with your
work.
You can sing a song in the shower
badly
and spend an extra 5 minutes doing it.
Yep.
You can write a poem that maybe nobody

(29:58):
will read. Yep. You can spend 2 hours
hanging out with friends, talking about absolute nonsense.
Yep. And you're not these are not friends
that you can get anything out of professionally.
Yes.
These are the things that you're gonna look
back on and that make up
the experience of your life really. These are
extremely
adult things to do. Right. So sometimes new

(30:18):
adults have the false idea
that you don't do these things any longer.
Once you enter the working world and nothing
could be further from the truth because even
when you've joined the working world, you've sold
maybe
40 hours out of your week
and there are
168
hours in a week.
So you'll want to sleep very deeply during

(30:40):
those hours you've allocated for sleep. You'll want
to enjoy your meals when you've
set aside time to eat a meal you
will want to just shoot the breeze with
your friends during those couple hours This is
an extremely
adult way to live your life
because then you're caring for
yourself as a human being, a living human

(31:01):
being who's under your care and who you
want to be happy. But within that, I
can I can also accept that there are
periods of time when you are
definitely, you know, leaning into the working more?
You know, there's room for,
experiencing your
the joy of simply living. There's room for,
the joy of curious
exploration.

(31:22):
Mhmm. And then, and that might take up
a fair amount of your time. And then
there's another section which would be the the
joy of implementation
or fruition.
And that also might take up some time
too. But the one the one thing that
mustn't be dismissed or forgotten
is the ability to sit there and do
nothing

(31:42):
and enjoy the very act of living,
or do things that do not have that.
The goal defined value.
When one sees themselves
through the lens of having
value only insofar as they're making money, let's
say,
they actually feel worthless.
They actually feel like they have no value

(32:04):
if they're
sitting on their porch on a warm summer
day looking at the birds and the trees
So this message is for them. You're not
worthless
When you're enjoying the purest pleasure of existence
there is separately
the pleasure of achievement
and there is separately from that the pleasure

(32:24):
of being in service to other people
but
the baseline
is that as long as you can raise
the question you're still a living
human being and
It's
not just the tigers.
It's people like you who
get to enjoy Yeah. The purest pleasure of

(32:46):
existence. And the last anti principle
is that you can achieve
a 100%
perfection
in your
adult
endeavors. You're laughing at the idea. Well, no
because
I know a lot of people that believe
that and aspire to a 100%

(33:07):
perfection
and it is, that's a that's something that's
a burden to bear. I would say that
being an actor
and a writer
and all the creative things,
Failure and not being perfect is hard baked
into that, otherwise you would never produce anything.
But is there is there such a thing
as perfection?

(33:27):
No, that's what. Well no, there are no,
I wouldn't say there is at all. There's
as close as you can get and that's
all you can ever aspire to. But you'll
never actually be somebody else.
So so so in a way, it's cruel
Yeah. To expect perfection of an
actor because they are literally never going to
achieve it. Never gonna achieve it. And I

(33:48):
would say it's cruel to expect perfection out
of yourself as well. Because you can only
ever fall short and it can define so
much of your approach to life because that
damages your self esteem, right? It, it can
cut you off from opportunity.
It can make you procrastinate. It can it's
got so many multi variant tendrils this one.

(34:10):
Maybe
playing
chess against toddlers.
You might actually be able to get a
100%
win rate
if your standards for entertainment are so low
that you would play chess against toddlers.
You might actually get that perfect and like
in the material universe with atoms and molecules.

(34:30):
But for something like acting, for something like
hypnotherapy,
for
medicine law Communication. Communication,
business entrepreneurship,
relationships
for any
complex
enough endeavor. In other words, endeavors worth pursuing
as an adult. In other words, not playing
chess against toddlers.

(34:51):
You are gonna fall short of perfect and
that's supposed to happen as an indication the
challenge you've taken on is challenging enough.
For any complex or difficult enough endeavor we
should accept that a less than perfect
success
rate, it just comes with the territory. So

(35:12):
if we look at your favorite movie,
your favorite band,
your favorite book
on your favorite internet review site
unless they're buying reviews.
They're not gonna have 10 to 10 on
INTP
or like 5 stars average on on Amazon

(35:33):
because you're not gonna satisfy everybody. But but
here's here's the thing, but I I know
maybe else. I think this is probably occurring
more and more. When I look at like
Google reviews or Amazon reviews, I actually don't
trust those that are like across the board
5.
And if I see a business that's got
a low,
Google review,
and I see the business respond in a

(35:53):
kind and rational manner,
I think that's the person that I'm gonna
go to. Because if I have a problem,
I can talk to these people and they'll
treat me as an adult.
Thank you for listening. This has been another
episode of how to be an adult.
We covered in this episode
some anti principles that you
should abandon

(36:14):
now that you're past the age of 18.
And once you become an adult, you are
an adult
for the rest of your days.
So the childhood
principles to abandon,
you can safely abandon
for the rest of your life.
Luke and I are available for hire through
the Morpheus Clinic for hypnosis. We're based in

(36:37):
Canada, but we see people from all over
the world.
Hypnosis is about giving
people better ideas and perspectives
that work for them, that help them
be the adult they are meant to be.
If you're interested, please get in touch. You
can go through the website and any questions
and worries will be answered through consultation.
For more of our thoughts on how to

(36:58):
be an adult,
you can follow us on YouTube at Morpheus
Hypnosis,
where you get the audio and the video,
or you can subscribe to us on Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your
podcasts
by searching for how to be an adult.
We're looking forward to giving you more helpful
guidance for how to make the most out

(37:19):
of the adulthood that you just inadvertently found
yourself
in. Now that we've covered
the childhood principles
to abandon
in adult life.
We're gonna be talking in the next episode
about why you must
exceed your parents. So I'm looking forward to
having that talk. And until then, stay tuned.