August 25, 2023 • 35 mins
Our team has launched a new podcast, called How to Be an Adult. It’s the trail guide to life that you should have received when you turned 18, but didn’t. Whether you’re 18 or 80, we intend to help you to feel like an equal to your peers, and to live excellently. In the first...
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(00:00):
The
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adults around you give you the false idea
that adults know everything.
You are
neglecting
all of your humanity that cannot be monetized.
I've studied human behavior
in order to become other people. He's also
responsible
for where he's gonna end up in 5
or 10 years. Welcome to How to be
(00:22):
an Adult, a new podcast created by the
practitioners at the Morpheus Clinic For Hypnosis in
Toronto, Canada.
We offer practical guidance for people like you
who've inadvertently become adults and don't know what
to do about it.
I'm Luke Chao. And I'm Pascal Langdell. Now,
whether you're 18 or 80, this is the
trail guide to life that nobody gave you
(00:44):
when you gained equality with your parents.
We share our thoughts publicly here in order
to democratize a fundamental aspect of being an
adult, which is self assurance.
Now in this inaugural episode, we cut right
to the chase. We'll be defining adulthood as
well as some of its more salient
characteristics.
And in following episodes, we'll provide the principles
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for how to uphold this standard of adulthood.
I wanna thank my clients, and you know
who you are, for helping me develop some
of these ideas, because these come not just
from your own experience or, say, Pascal's experience.
It comes from my work with, at this
point, thousands of individuals, many of whom are
professionals and managers, who are outwardly successful
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and yet feel inwardly
lost.
My clients have made this podcast possible in
2 ways.
1,
because they've engaged with me for private sessions,
they've allowed me to have the financial security
to start sharing my best ideas in public,
for those who are not so privileged. Secondly,
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it is with
their thoughts and input over
almost 17 years at this point
that I've come to realize there are universal
principles
for how one might do adulthood to the
best of one's ability.
Alright. Well, let's, let's start off then by,
just agreeing on the definition of terms here.
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Right?
Let's start off with a big question. What
is it to be an adult? What is
an adult?
Well, I I took biology classes in universities.
So the the the the very simple definition
is
an organism, an animal that's reached sexual maturity.
Now that's not gonna be satisfying
for our listeners because obviously
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us human beings we're social species there are
social dimensions
there are psychological
dimensions to adulthood it's not just that you
have your bar mitzvah and
you're an adult. It's actually, you know,
I would say lifelong
process of
maturity.
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Now, that's still very vague. Or is it
a lifelong process of maturing?
Maturing,
which is a fine distinction because you you've
taken my
noun
and turn it turn it into a verb,
and it is a verb. It's something you
do. It's something you do
as long as you're living. You could also
argue that even across a lifetime,
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your I your
identity as a mature adult somewhat shifts. But
so so then the question comes, what is
the overarching definition under which all those changes
might occur?
Let's kinda go beyond just the biological
definition.
It's not just like when you grow hair
on your face.
If we kind of look at legal definitions
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or if we look at the various milestones
that we reach
we do have the bat mitzvah and the
bar mitzvah at 12 or 13.
We also have
getting your driver's license, at least a learner's
license at 16, where then you're adult enough
to operate a 2 ton machine
on public roads.
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We also have 18, which is sort of
the standard definition of when you're legally an
adult and you can sign contracts and own
property and you have the right to vote,
which means your opinions
matter alongside with the other adults.
We also have
19, which in Ontario is when you can
legally buy tobacco and alcohol We have 21
where our American listeners
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can legally buy alcohol
We have 25 which is considered to be
when our brains
mature. And that's when we can also,
rent cars
without
a cosigner. Do you think that Avis, like,
sort of, that he factor
that in? Well, I'm sure they have
statisticians
to figure out, like, you know, at what
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age do we consider people mature enough to
return to cartilage? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So mature
enough. Right? So there's a there's a
judgment
call being made about that. So if I
just give you an example,
like a 13 year old might say they're
old enough to do something, they're mature enough
to do something,
But the objective adult in the room can
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turn around and say, no, you're not ready
for that yet. So,
what are the criteria
that,
we aspire to to to be able to
say, well, this is adult behavior. This is
adult
benchmarks
of capability.
Perhaps is it is that it? Can benchmarks
capability?
I guess that's the substance for all the
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rest of not just this episode, but the
the rest of the podcast. So that's a
yes, basically.
Yes.
So
going beyond just the ability
to fill out a ballot at election time,
going beyond the ability to sign your name
at the bottom of a contract is,
do you have
the moral reasoning to choose
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a candidate that will be in service of
society? Do do you have the the moral
capacity to
necessarily just the the the contract we're talking
about. So, for instance,
a 2 year old,
has almost no ability to,
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accept a no.
Right?
Emotionally
is incapable.
It's a material.
Exactly. Well, that's my point is that is
that you you know, you sometimes see adults
who are effectively throwing tantrums.
And when you see that it's
quite unnerving because
from an outside's point of view,
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that's not behavior you would expect from an
adult, but that's a judgment.
So from that, are we saying that emotional
forbearance or self control, self regulation, or emotional
wisdom is a hallmark of being an adult?
Well, at at this point, I'll I'll probably
narrow down the scope
of this podcast to say that this is
not just to be any adult.
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Right. We're gonna be talking about how to
be a happy adult.
And it happens that playing nice with others
is going to produce a happier adulthood.
Right. Than being unable to get along with
others. So even if you're motivated by pure
hedonism,
they're not gonna be moral judgments. No, we
don't. At least I have no interest
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in prescribing
what people ought to do and then calling
that adulthood. I have an interest in figuring
out
how one can have a happy, peaceful, fulfilling
life
given
all that one has by the time that
we are legally or socially defined as an
adult. Alright. Okay.
So to anybody
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watching or listening,
there's an existing question there which is, was
there a point in your life that you
felt like you're an adult?
And then the question is also, well, does
that even matter? So I'll answer the first
one first, and
I would say yes. I I would say
that it's probably when I started my hypnotherapy
practice at the age of 23.
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Going back a little bit further, maybe it's
when I went to university at the age
of 17.
Either of those two points gave me much
autonomy, as well as recognition from those around
me that I had self determination.
But these
are these are socially negotiated sort of
identities if you like,
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and also dependent on what you're doing. And
so if you're unemployed for example or if
you don't go to university and you don't
get that separation from,
your parents in the same way. Well, I'll
answer the second part of your first question
first
Because I I don't actually believe that feeling
like an adult is necessarily
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a valid way of knowing
that you are an adult. Yeah.
Because often our feelings tell us not to
get on the airplane
when the airplane actually is gonna land
999,999,999
times out of a1000000 are probably even better
than that. And and but but also perhaps
there's
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of adulthood being something that it turns out
not to be. I mean, if if I
was to turn around and sort of go,
okay, what was my image of being an
adult when I was, 14?
The reality of it has has certainly not
been that, and it's changed over time as
my different responsibilities.
Sometimes
when you're a kid, the the the adults
around you give you the false idea
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that adults know everything Yeah. And they're
omnipotent and omniscient
and, you know, that you shan't question them.
And it's a very false pretense
when adults act like that. So sometimes when
we turn 18 we realize we don't know
everything, we can't do everything, there's so much
we don't yet know and then we turn
30 and 40, and then we realize there's
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so much we don't know. And then we
think we lack in adulthood when actually we
just got bamboozled by Yeah. The idea. Contentious
contrived. Yeah. And the idea that there was
an arrival at some point as well. Yes.
And it's a large impetus for creating this
podcast
because I've helped so many people who are
30 or 40 or 50 or 60,
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and they have all the outward
markers
that we can associate with adulthood
yet internally they don't feel like an adult.
Yeah. So that's where I challenged the idea
of feeling like an adult is when we
are an adult.
A large part of what I do for
people is I update their feelings to match
the current reality.
(10:18):
I would say that
adulthood
expands one's capacities,
so
our adult capabilities
are in addition to the childlike nature that
we're all born with. It's not actually supposed
to be stead of. And I think a
lot of people make the mistake of thinking
that they had to abandon the open, curious,
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playful nature of childhood
to be, you know, fitting into a 3
piece suit.
And I I contradict the idea. I mean,
if there's one thing I do as a
hypnotherapist is to help people sort good ideas
from bad ones. And that's where a lot
of the substance for for this podcast will
will come from, where I I do hope
to give people best practices
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for how to think so that you are
an adult in the eyes of the world
you feel like an adult internally
and you make use of whichever capacities are
appropriate for the situation at hand. And sometimes
it's playfulness Yeah. And other times it's seriousness.
I wanna point out how much of a
20th
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21st
century
question
this is. To ask what is an adult?
Because before developmental psychology
kids and adults kind of just got conflated
into 1 which means that kids were seen
as kind
of deficient and weak adults as opposed to
people in a distinct developmental phase.
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So you could think of in medieval times
or even Victorian times, kids would be sent
to work on the farm as soon as
they were physically able to, or they would
go up the chimneys to sweep the chimneys.
They'd be they'd be married pretty young as
well for the the exchange of property and
so on that came with it. Yep.
And in the 20th century, as we kinda
realized more about human beings through through psychology,
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we started to realize that no. No. You
can't just treat kids
like they're incompetent
adults. You have to treat kids as kids.
And then there are multiple
phases of childhood and then adolescence
And then you reach adulthood
which is generally considered to be a final
stage, although then you reach your older age.
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But there's also the informal
rituals
like
renting your first apartment. Mhmm. So moving out
of your parents' place and being on your
own or getting your first job. And that's
and that's also speaking to almost like the
next step. So, you have
a transition period, say you're no longer an
adolescent and you're stepping into adulthood. And part
of that is
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well, you said renting an apartment. Well, there's
the con you sign a contract, yes. But
there's also responsibility.
You're gonna have to pay rent. You're gonna
have to do what you said that you
were gonna do. So you're
you're no longer excused to the same degree
that you might be,
you know. And for for some people, they
see that heightened responsibility
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as onerous and burdensome.
And
yet for me,
and how I would want my listeners to
feel,
it's
empowering
and liberating.
Burdensome
If you feel like you've got what it
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takes to fulfill the responsibility,
then it feels empowering and liberating. And in
my experience, more people underestimate
themselves as,
I'll say, real adults
than overestimate themselves
once they reach 18, 20, 25, 30.
I think that for most people,
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boosting their confidence is of more value than
humbling
them. And is there also the flip side
which is you can
believe that,
the carrying of responsibilities is the definition of
you and the proof of your adulthood if
you sort of be. So, can you go
too far? Specifically talking about for instance work,
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you mentioned it before. Yes.
That that it's it's possible to see your
identity
not just as a person but as an
adult being entirely wrapped up with your work.
And then you got the question, well, you
may not feel that way. So what do
you what do you do?
What do you do if you're walking in
and you're, I don't know, you're you're 22,
new company or 23 as you were and
(14:34):
you're
talking
to people who are older than you, who
you assume know more than you do or
that would be the implication.
How do you
Yeah, so there's a question about
becoming the right person at the right time
in the room. You know, there's there's something
about that there. Can you but yeah.
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Often, when we're hired for a role
that we've never done before, we kinda feel
like we're a stranger in a strange land
or we're some kind of imposter.
But I wanna point out that the hiring
committee probably knows what they're doing.
And in that case,
deferring to your employer
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when it comes to your capacity to handle
the role, assuming that you've been truthful during
the interview.
That is to recognize that, well, maybe they've
interviewed other people
like you and they've come to realize that
you're actually the best candidate for the job
and your insecurities, your doubts, your worries are
not actually an accurate representation of your future
(15:37):
in the role.
So so I I read or heard somewhere
that, you know, 75%
of your identity is essentially contextually
based.
So it's your social situation,
the society you're in,
it's other people's
consensus about you. And about 25%
is what you're born with. So that means
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that by that logic, that means you have
an awful lot of control
over those aspects of your personality and behavior.
And who you you associate with and what
places you'll place yourself into. So the context
reflects who you believe you are. Right. So
the hiring board has decided that you have
what it takes. You
you you take on this role. Turns out
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that they're right and work very well, and
perhaps you progress,
in in the business. And then, you know,
you you're spending
15 hours a day maybe,
and maybe 17 if you're preoccupied with it
as well. This is it's not uncommon to
be obsessed by your work. Right?
And then when people say, so you meet
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people, you might define yourself as saying, well
I'm a lawyer or I'm a doctor or,
you know,
but that sense by that, that could be
taken away very quickly. You can suddenly one
day wake up and you're not a lawyer.
So what's the answer to
finding that,
sense of validation from what it is that
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you do and what are the problems with
it?
There are plenty of people that successfully are
lawyers well into their ages. So why not?
Why why aren't we also
defined by what we do and can't we
take heart in that? Where does it go
wrong?
I'll take
to heart the 25, 75 percent division that
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you mentioned earlier Right. Where 25% of your
identity is something you're born with and the
75%
is socially negotiated.
So the 25% that you're born with, you
know, that's for you to realize and to
self express.
The 75%
that you socially
negotiate,
I want to point out includes friends, and
family, and neighbors.
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It's not primarily work.
If you look at yourself through a lens
of only your commercial value,
you are
neglecting
all of your humanity that cannot be monetized,
and which your friends and family do see,
and I would say
clearly.
(18:05):
Even I would say a dog or a
cat can see that clearly.
It is only at work that you are
viewed through a lens of how much do
you cost and how much value can you
produce, which can be monetized.
So
I would speak out against the idea
of overly identifying with one's work.
(18:25):
The analogy that you might have heard me
use is that the value of the lumber
at the hardware store
represents a mere tiny fraction
of the value of the living tree in
the forest.
Now, the lumber at the hardware store might
represent the entirety of that tree's commercial value,
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but when it comes to things like filtering
Carbon from the atmosphere and providing a home
to to to birds and squirrels,
there is a value in that. At least
it is of my opinion that there is
value in that. And a human being has
value as life and as a human being
and doesn't just have value in the commercial
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sphere. It's just the over identification
with with the commercial value that I'm And
taking that a little I suppose taking a
little bit further,
because your identity is also partially,
to
to a great degree, sort of socially negotiated.
If you're only socially negotiating in one realm,
then you are
not allowing other realms to, to be
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updated as you go.
I can I remember hearing,
somebody was saying that, their
dad,
when he retired, he had almost
no friends, he had no social network, whereas
her mother did?
And
the explanation that this person gave was because
her father was necessarily,
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and this is this is the burden of
of for for many,
having to was the sole breadwinner, basically.
And, has put wanted to put the kids
through college, all the all the things. Right?
But as a result,
he didn't cultivate those other sides of his
life.
And I suppose that's one of the perils,
I suppose, of over identifying or over allowing
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one particular domain of your identity to take
over. Is because you also think,
well, how would this how would this person
have benefited from being able to to
have an identity outside of his work.
I assume that he had no, you know,
let's let's say that he had very little
choice, but that is that is something that
(20:36):
is lost I think if somebody
is essentially, you know, the quote married to
your work kind of thing. And I actually
blame him.
Right.
Because I'm gonna treat him as an adult.
Uh-huh. And as an adult,
you are metaphorically the captain of your ship,
which is one of the points of what
we'll get to.
And I hope it doesn't sound overly harsh
(20:57):
because my intent is not to have adulthood
feel onerous or burdensome to him. I
want him to feel empowered and liberated
to decide
how much of his time and energy
will be allocated
to
one area of his life and how much
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time will be allocated to the other parts.
It is tremendously
empowering
to realize that you're the captain of your
ship, and where you're going to end up
in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years
is determined
by which way you're pointing the vessel.
So
it is to
empower
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and liberate
this person that I say that I blame
him.
When I started to count myself as an
adult,
I wanted more responsibility.
I knew that I was taking the risk
of being criticized.
It's because
I felt
that
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to to be effective in the world, I
needed responsibility
and therefore exposure to blame
That's why I I I took on both
at the same time.
I think it would be quite impossible
to to take on
responsibility
and then
try to say your hands are clean
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when things are go wrong. The the 2
have to go head in hand. Is is
there,
is there a cultural fear of of blame?
Is there a sort of a a
how can I put it? Do do you
see what I'm getting at? There's
there's a lot of toxic shame in a
lot of people around the world, and there's
such a thing as healthy shame, which regulates
(22:41):
your behavior. There's also such a thing as
toxic shame, which is detrimental and really to
to no benefit.
So But there's there's a difference between that
and,
accepting responsibility
and also accepting,
therefore accepting when you fall short of your
goals or you you fall short of where
you pitched for, you know. Yeah. So the
(23:02):
the the reason I have to bring this
up is that a lot of people don't
differentiate
what you're talking about, which is falling short
of of things you
commit set out to do or committed to.
Right.
And who you are as a person
because the feeling of shame is that you're
fundamentally
bad as a person independently
of the things you do or do not
(23:23):
do. Right.
So
because of this conflation
between your badness
and the, quote, badness of one's actions or
the badness of one's outcome,
people see bad outcomes
as personally shameful to them, and that's what
I want to kind of tease out and
have people separate
(23:44):
in their own hearts and minds where they
can still be a good person and make
mistakes.
They can still be
not a perfect, let's say, parent or doctor,
but a good enough one that they can
still sleep well at night and feel good
about themselves.
When shame
becomes overwhelming,
(24:06):
when people get into these so called shame
spirals
and they'll often drink too much, or use
too many drugs, or sleep too much, it
is again detrimental to no benefit.
So
at the same time that I'm talking about
how I'm blaming.
Yeah. Your friend. It is because I value
(24:28):
him as an adult man. I've never met
the guy. Yeah. I'm assuming he's over 18
and he's human. So I value him as
an adult man because that's
who he is.
Because of that,
I can
point out
that he's responsible for ending up where he's
at in life.
(24:49):
He's also responsible
for where he's gonna end up in 5
or 10 years. And what he does next.
Yeah.
And the the the actions then
are separate from who he is as a
person.
And because the actions are separate from who
he is as a person,
he can change his actions without feeling personal
(25:09):
shame.
Mhmm. Yeah. Fair enough. And and also I
suppose there's,
also part of being an adult is being
able to
face
face up to things and to own up
to where you failed and to own up
without without it turning into shame, in fact.
That could be, again, going back to the
self assurance at the beginning, is that you
(25:29):
have self assurance enough to say, yep, that
was me. I farted in the lift. I
farted in the elevator. You know, that that
sort of, yep. Alright. Yep.
We'll talk quite a bit in various contexts
about how adulthood
partly means to align with reality, to to
see reality, to acknowledge it, to acknowledge it
as quickly as possible, and then to accept
as quickly as we can. That this is
(25:49):
one of the markers of a mature adult.
Okay. So as a teaser, here is a
list of the axioms or fundamental principles that
we'll be outlining in the future episodes,
on what it takes to be an adult.
How to embrace responsibility
and take charge of your life.
Treat yourself with respect and esteem.
(26:13):
Benefit from the value of truth. Capital t
truth.
Be a producer, not just a consumer.
Define your priorities and define the steps to
achieve them.
And then finally, be prosocial
and leave the world a better place than
you found it. Because you were born human.
So dig a bit more into what this
(26:34):
podcast is gonna be like then. I mean,
we could just sit here and say, you
should do this, you should do that.
Or we could say, you know, this is
good, this is bad. Is that how you
see this going? Absolutely not. No. No. Why
would I moralize?
Well, so so the the the this subject
matter of how to be an adult,
(26:55):
I think is gonna be triggering for a
lot of people
because
when they
came of age, their parents started giving them
more household chores
and they started talking about how you're going
to be an adult soon. And then adulthood
started to have
connotations
of
a burden.
(27:16):
And I don't see adulthood like that at
all.
To communicate
to to to to our listeners
how I feel about adulthood,
I think I have to communicate in ways
completely devoid of judgment and moralizing.
So, some of our listeners
want to be pillars of their community,
(27:36):
and other
listeners might just want to be unrepentant
hedonists.
And either way
the principles that we just talked about yeah
are going to be relevant yeah either way,
you can have a very happy
life.
I'm just trying to guide people
(27:57):
when their parents
and their teachers
and like Little League coaches
didn't give them
the proper guidance
as to how to be a happy adult.
So if they learn how to be a
miserable adult because of their role models, then
this I mean,
that's who I've made the podcast for. And
this this also suggests that
(28:17):
the principles that you're you're, you know, you're
gonna be talking about, that we're gonna be
talking about
are are common to all humans and not,
they don't start off from a position of
you being a particular specific individual,
and
speak specifically to your
the detail of your reality, but these are
(28:38):
principles that
are
overarching. So that
they're not based in
the individual, but as in the general truths
about what it is to be human. Is
that right?
It's the endeavor.
Right.
I I am setting aside
the idea
that there are no universals
among human beings.
(28:59):
To me, the idea that there are no
universals among human beings is just as far
fetched as the idea that there are no
universals among all dogs. Yeah. Or among all
cats.
Where
approaching
a strange mixed breed in the dog park
and treating that animal like they're a
(29:19):
dog will probably not produce any egregious errors
in your behavior.
You don't have to try to figure out,
okay, well, I mean, what mix of pure
preeds is that animal?
That's not a way of thinking that's gonna
produce
a better way to interact with the animal.
Even trying to figure out is it male
(29:40):
or female, that's not gonna produce a better
way for interacting with the animal. If you
kind of recognize the dogness in the animal
and treat the animal as a dog, you
won't make any egregious errors.
I am
advancing the claim that if if there is
a gigantic
overlapping part of the Venn diagram that that
describes 8,000,000,000 people. And if we interact with
(30:02):
people
accounting for this gigantic overlapping center of the
Venn diagram, we are not making any egregious
errors.
It's when we kind of look at the
thin slices on the edges of the Venn
diagram where we find the differences,
that's where our attention
would be on, I think, superficial
matters.
So yes, I am seeking a universalist
(30:25):
life
philosophy
that transcends
time and culture.
Whether we'll succeed in the endeavor, the listeners
can judge over the next however many episodes.
I have a belief. But that at least
is the direction I'm sailing toward.
Then what,
what gives us the right to talk about
any of this? Well, funny, go first.
(30:46):
Okay. Well, I'm Pascal Langdell. I'm
an actor of 30 odd years. I've studied
human behavior
in order to become other people
in in quite some depth, and
everything from nonverbal behavior to psychophysical,
acting techniques and so on. But this makes
(31:06):
me a keen observer of the human
condition even as I am a flawed human
being as well.
But I've learned from every character I ever
played and I learned the most from those
characters I played the best.
I've also
worn many hats and been,
so so the 75% socially mediated identity.
I've also, been a business developer. I've also,
(31:29):
built fences,
done construction, and all the rest of it.
And also being a father
as well, that's a revolution in your whole,
identity too.
And now blended family. So the
the ongoing
process of being an adult is something that's
I felt very keenly for for my entire
(31:49):
adult life basically.
Alright. So that's that's, that's,
my background. What about you?
As for myself,
I'm Luke Chao.
I'm a hypnotherapist.
I've been once since I was 23 years
old. We're actually right now sitting in my
old office, which we've converted to a studio.
And over the past
(32:11):
17 years,
we've hypnotized over 8,000
people,
probably about half of
whom I've hypnotized myself.
So this universalism
that I strive for and claim that I
have
comes from
these thousands of clients
(32:31):
I've gotten to
know
and then help.
One of the challenges of a hypnotherapist is
we have
to work on the short timelines that people
expect us to work on. So no one
expects to be in hypnotherapy for years like
they expect to be in psychotherapy for years.
So I've had to kind of universalize
(32:53):
from earlier cases.
General principles
I could apply to later cases
because I literally don't have the timeline to
get to know each client as an individual.
I have to treat them
as human first
and then individual qualities
as finer grained details
(33:14):
that fall under their humanity.
That's where a lot of the content for
this podcast will come from.
I'm not just examining my own life, I
am primarily
drawing this material
from
the various cases I've worked with and
specifically
not
(33:34):
individuals
but the generalized
principles that arise from so many cases.
And as
a double check, I also check with myself.
And I ask myself,
does the principle apply to me personally?
And that's part of my universalism Yeah. Where
if it applies to me and it applies
to all these these people who I don't
(33:55):
know as well, but I can generalize from,
then probably the principal's sound enough to broadcast
to the Internet on a podcast called how
to be an adult.
Thank you for listening. That brings our first
episode to a close. If you like what
you've heard here, Pascal and I are both
available for hire through the Morpheus Clinic For
Hypnosis
in Toronto, Canada,
and we're also seeing clients worldwide online.
(34:18):
The website is morphiscinic.com,
and you can ask for a free consultation
there.
As hypnotherapists,
we're basically practical philosophers
at heart
where the ideas you've heard us talk about
during this episode,
we instill in our clients. I know you
probably have a lot of questions about the
h word, but that's what the consultation process
(34:40):
will be about.
So if you, are interested, follow us on
YouTube
at Morpheus Hypnosis,
or, you can listen to the podcast, subscribe
on Spotify
or Apple Podcasts or wherever it is you
get your podcasts.
Watch out for our next episode where we
fill out some of these foundational principles
on how to be an adult.
The
(00:01):
adults around you give you the false idea
that adults know everything.
You are
neglecting
all of your humanity that cannot be monetized.
I've studied human behavior
in order to become other people. He's also
responsible
for where he's gonna end up in 5
or 10 years. Welcome to How to be
(00:22):
an Adult, a new podcast created by the
practitioners at the Morpheus Clinic For Hypnosis in
Toronto, Canada.
We offer practical guidance for people like you
who've inadvertently become adults and don't know what
to do about it.
I'm Luke Chao. And I'm Pascal Langdell. Now,
whether you're 18 or 80, this is the
trail guide to life that nobody gave you
(00:44):
when you gained equality with your parents.
We share our thoughts publicly here in order
to democratize a fundamental aspect of being an
adult, which is self assurance.
Now in this inaugural episode, we cut right
to the chase. We'll be defining adulthood as
well as some of its more salient
characteristics.
And in following episodes, we'll provide the principles
(01:07):
for how to uphold this standard of adulthood.
I wanna thank my clients, and you know
who you are, for helping me develop some
of these ideas, because these come not just
from your own experience or, say, Pascal's experience.
It comes from my work with, at this
point, thousands of individuals, many of whom are
professionals and managers, who are outwardly successful
(01:28):
and yet feel inwardly
lost.
My clients have made this podcast possible in
2 ways.
1,
because they've engaged with me for private sessions,
they've allowed me to have the financial security
to start sharing my best ideas in public,
for those who are not so privileged. Secondly,
(01:49):
it is with
their thoughts and input over
almost 17 years at this point
that I've come to realize there are universal
principles
for how one might do adulthood to the
best of one's ability.
Alright. Well, let's, let's start off then by,
just agreeing on the definition of terms here.
(02:10):
Right?
Let's start off with a big question. What
is it to be an adult? What is
an adult?
Well, I I took biology classes in universities.
So the the the the very simple definition
is
an organism, an animal that's reached sexual maturity.
Now that's not gonna be satisfying
for our listeners because obviously
(02:31):
us human beings we're social species there are
social dimensions
there are psychological
dimensions to adulthood it's not just that you
have your bar mitzvah and
you're an adult. It's actually, you know,
I would say lifelong
process of
maturity.
(02:51):
Now, that's still very vague. Or is it
a lifelong process of maturing?
Maturing,
which is a fine distinction because you you've
taken my
noun
and turn it turn it into a verb,
and it is a verb. It's something you
do. It's something you do
as long as you're living. You could also
argue that even across a lifetime,
(03:13):
your I your
identity as a mature adult somewhat shifts. But
so so then the question comes, what is
the overarching definition under which all those changes
might occur?
Let's kinda go beyond just the biological
definition.
It's not just like when you grow hair
on your face.
If we kind of look at legal definitions
(03:35):
or if we look at the various milestones
that we reach
we do have the bat mitzvah and the
bar mitzvah at 12 or 13.
We also have
getting your driver's license, at least a learner's
license at 16, where then you're adult enough
to operate a 2 ton machine
on public roads.
(03:57):
We also have 18, which is sort of
the standard definition of when you're legally an
adult and you can sign contracts and own
property and you have the right to vote,
which means your opinions
matter alongside with the other adults.
We also have
19, which in Ontario is when you can
legally buy tobacco and alcohol We have 21
where our American listeners
(04:19):
can legally buy alcohol
We have 25 which is considered to be
when our brains
mature. And that's when we can also,
rent cars
without
a cosigner. Do you think that Avis, like,
sort of, that he factor
that in? Well, I'm sure they have
statisticians
to figure out, like, you know, at what
(04:41):
age do we consider people mature enough to
return to cartilage? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So mature
enough. Right? So there's a there's a
judgment
call being made about that. So if I
just give you an example,
like a 13 year old might say they're
old enough to do something, they're mature enough
to do something,
But the objective adult in the room can
(05:01):
turn around and say, no, you're not ready
for that yet. So,
what are the criteria
that,
we aspire to to to be able to
say, well, this is adult behavior. This is
adult
benchmarks
of capability.
Perhaps is it is that it? Can benchmarks
capability?
I guess that's the substance for all the
(05:21):
rest of not just this episode, but the
the rest of the podcast. So that's a
yes, basically.
Yes.
So
going beyond just the ability
to fill out a ballot at election time,
going beyond the ability to sign your name
at the bottom of a contract is,
do you have
the moral reasoning to choose
(05:43):
a candidate that will be in service of
society? Do do you have the the moral
capacity to
necessarily just the the the contract we're talking
about. So, for instance,
a 2 year old,
has almost no ability to,
(06:05):
accept a no.
Right?
Emotionally
is incapable.
It's a material.
Exactly. Well, that's my point is that is
that you you know, you sometimes see adults
who are effectively throwing tantrums.
And when you see that it's
quite unnerving because
from an outside's point of view,
(06:26):
that's not behavior you would expect from an
adult, but that's a judgment.
So from that, are we saying that emotional
forbearance or self control, self regulation, or emotional
wisdom is a hallmark of being an adult?
Well, at at this point, I'll I'll probably
narrow down the scope
of this podcast to say that this is
not just to be any adult.
(06:46):
Right. We're gonna be talking about how to
be a happy adult.
And it happens that playing nice with others
is going to produce a happier adulthood.
Right. Than being unable to get along with
others. So even if you're motivated by pure
hedonism,
they're not gonna be moral judgments. No, we
don't. At least I have no interest
(07:08):
in prescribing
what people ought to do and then calling
that adulthood. I have an interest in figuring
out
how one can have a happy, peaceful, fulfilling
life
given
all that one has by the time that
we are legally or socially defined as an
adult. Alright. Okay.
So to anybody
(07:30):
watching or listening,
there's an existing question there which is, was
there a point in your life that you
felt like you're an adult?
And then the question is also, well, does
that even matter? So I'll answer the first
one first, and
I would say yes. I I would say
that it's probably when I started my hypnotherapy
practice at the age of 23.
(07:50):
Going back a little bit further, maybe it's
when I went to university at the age
of 17.
Either of those two points gave me much
autonomy, as well as recognition from those around
me that I had self determination.
But these
are these are socially negotiated sort of
identities if you like,
(08:12):
and also dependent on what you're doing. And
so if you're unemployed for example or if
you don't go to university and you don't
get that separation from,
your parents in the same way. Well, I'll
answer the second part of your first question
first
Because I I don't actually believe that feeling
like an adult is necessarily
(08:32):
a valid way of knowing
that you are an adult. Yeah.
Because often our feelings tell us not to
get on the airplane
when the airplane actually is gonna land
999,999,999
times out of a1000000 are probably even better
than that. And and but but also perhaps
there's
(08:53):
of adulthood being something that it turns out
not to be. I mean, if if I
was to turn around and sort of go,
okay, what was my image of being an
adult when I was, 14?
The reality of it has has certainly not
been that, and it's changed over time as
my different responsibilities.
Sometimes
when you're a kid, the the the adults
around you give you the false idea
(09:15):
that adults know everything Yeah. And they're
omnipotent and omniscient
and, you know, that you shan't question them.
And it's a very false pretense
when adults act like that. So sometimes when
we turn 18 we realize we don't know
everything, we can't do everything, there's so much
we don't yet know and then we turn
30 and 40, and then we realize there's
(09:36):
so much we don't know. And then we
think we lack in adulthood when actually we
just got bamboozled by Yeah. The idea. Contentious
contrived. Yeah. And the idea that there was
an arrival at some point as well. Yes.
And it's a large impetus for creating this
podcast
because I've helped so many people who are
30 or 40 or 50 or 60,
(09:56):
and they have all the outward
markers
that we can associate with adulthood
yet internally they don't feel like an adult.
Yeah. So that's where I challenged the idea
of feeling like an adult is when we
are an adult.
A large part of what I do for
people is I update their feelings to match
the current reality.
(10:18):
I would say that
adulthood
expands one's capacities,
so
our adult capabilities
are in addition to the childlike nature that
we're all born with. It's not actually supposed
to be stead of. And I think a
lot of people make the mistake of thinking
that they had to abandon the open, curious,
(10:40):
playful nature of childhood
to be, you know, fitting into a 3
piece suit.
And I I contradict the idea. I mean,
if there's one thing I do as a
hypnotherapist is to help people sort good ideas
from bad ones. And that's where a lot
of the substance for for this podcast will
will come from, where I I do hope
to give people best practices
(11:00):
for how to think so that you are
an adult in the eyes of the world
you feel like an adult internally
and you make use of whichever capacities are
appropriate for the situation at hand. And sometimes
it's playfulness Yeah. And other times it's seriousness.
I wanna point out how much of a
20th
(11:20):
21st
century
question
this is. To ask what is an adult?
Because before developmental psychology
kids and adults kind of just got conflated
into 1 which means that kids were seen
as kind
of deficient and weak adults as opposed to
people in a distinct developmental phase.
(11:43):
So you could think of in medieval times
or even Victorian times, kids would be sent
to work on the farm as soon as
they were physically able to, or they would
go up the chimneys to sweep the chimneys.
They'd be they'd be married pretty young as
well for the the exchange of property and
so on that came with it. Yep.
And in the 20th century, as we kinda
realized more about human beings through through psychology,
(12:06):
we started to realize that no. No. You
can't just treat kids
like they're incompetent
adults. You have to treat kids as kids.
And then there are multiple
phases of childhood and then adolescence
And then you reach adulthood
which is generally considered to be a final
stage, although then you reach your older age.
(12:28):
But there's also the informal
rituals
like
renting your first apartment. Mhmm. So moving out
of your parents' place and being on your
own or getting your first job. And that's
and that's also speaking to almost like the
next step. So, you have
a transition period, say you're no longer an
adolescent and you're stepping into adulthood. And part
of that is
(12:50):
well, you said renting an apartment. Well, there's
the con you sign a contract, yes. But
there's also responsibility.
You're gonna have to pay rent. You're gonna
have to do what you said that you
were gonna do. So you're
you're no longer excused to the same degree
that you might be,
you know. And for for some people, they
see that heightened responsibility
(13:10):
as onerous and burdensome.
And
yet for me,
and how I would want my listeners to
feel,
it's
empowering
and liberating.
Burdensome
If you feel like you've got what it
(13:32):
takes to fulfill the responsibility,
then it feels empowering and liberating. And in
my experience, more people underestimate
themselves as,
I'll say, real adults
than overestimate themselves
once they reach 18, 20, 25, 30.
I think that for most people,
(13:54):
boosting their confidence is of more value than
humbling
them. And is there also the flip side
which is you can
believe that,
the carrying of responsibilities is the definition of
you and the proof of your adulthood if
you sort of be. So, can you go
too far? Specifically talking about for instance work,
(14:14):
you mentioned it before. Yes.
That that it's it's possible to see your
identity
not just as a person but as an
adult being entirely wrapped up with your work.
And then you got the question, well, you
may not feel that way. So what do
you what do you do?
What do you do if you're walking in
and you're, I don't know, you're you're 22,
new company or 23 as you were and
(14:34):
you're
talking
to people who are older than you, who
you assume know more than you do or
that would be the implication.
How do you
Yeah, so there's a question about
becoming the right person at the right time
in the room. You know, there's there's something
about that there. Can you but yeah.
(14:55):
Often, when we're hired for a role
that we've never done before, we kinda feel
like we're a stranger in a strange land
or we're some kind of imposter.
But I wanna point out that the hiring
committee probably knows what they're doing.
And in that case,
deferring to your employer
(15:16):
when it comes to your capacity to handle
the role, assuming that you've been truthful during
the interview.
That is to recognize that, well, maybe they've
interviewed other people
like you and they've come to realize that
you're actually the best candidate for the job
and your insecurities, your doubts, your worries are
not actually an accurate representation of your future
(15:37):
in the role.
So so I I read or heard somewhere
that, you know, 75%
of your identity is essentially contextually
based.
So it's your social situation,
the society you're in,
it's other people's
consensus about you. And about 25%
is what you're born with. So that means
(15:59):
that by that logic, that means you have
an awful lot of control
over those aspects of your personality and behavior.
And who you you associate with and what
places you'll place yourself into. So the context
reflects who you believe you are. Right. So
the hiring board has decided that you have
what it takes. You
you you take on this role. Turns out
(16:20):
that they're right and work very well, and
perhaps you progress,
in in the business. And then, you know,
you you're spending
15 hours a day maybe,
and maybe 17 if you're preoccupied with it
as well. This is it's not uncommon to
be obsessed by your work. Right?
And then when people say, so you meet
(16:42):
people, you might define yourself as saying, well
I'm a lawyer or I'm a doctor or,
you know,
but that sense by that, that could be
taken away very quickly. You can suddenly one
day wake up and you're not a lawyer.
So what's the answer to
finding that,
sense of validation from what it is that
(17:02):
you do and what are the problems with
it?
There are plenty of people that successfully are
lawyers well into their ages. So why not?
Why why aren't we also
defined by what we do and can't we
take heart in that? Where does it go
wrong?
I'll take
to heart the 25, 75 percent division that
(17:23):
you mentioned earlier Right. Where 25% of your
identity is something you're born with and the
75%
is socially negotiated.
So the 25% that you're born with, you
know, that's for you to realize and to
self express.
The 75%
that you socially
negotiate,
I want to point out includes friends, and
family, and neighbors.
(17:44):
It's not primarily work.
If you look at yourself through a lens
of only your commercial value,
you are
neglecting
all of your humanity that cannot be monetized,
and which your friends and family do see,
and I would say
clearly.
(18:05):
Even I would say a dog or a
cat can see that clearly.
It is only at work that you are
viewed through a lens of how much do
you cost and how much value can you
produce, which can be monetized.
So
I would speak out against the idea
of overly identifying with one's work.
(18:25):
The analogy that you might have heard me
use is that the value of the lumber
at the hardware store
represents a mere tiny fraction
of the value of the living tree in
the forest.
Now, the lumber at the hardware store might
represent the entirety of that tree's commercial value,
(18:47):
but when it comes to things like filtering
Carbon from the atmosphere and providing a home
to to to birds and squirrels,
there is a value in that. At least
it is of my opinion that there is
value in that. And a human being has
value as life and as a human being
and doesn't just have value in the commercial
(19:08):
sphere. It's just the over identification
with with the commercial value that I'm And
taking that a little I suppose taking a
little bit further,
because your identity is also partially,
to
to a great degree, sort of socially negotiated.
If you're only socially negotiating in one realm,
then you are
not allowing other realms to, to be
(19:31):
updated as you go.
I can I remember hearing,
somebody was saying that, their
dad,
when he retired, he had almost
no friends, he had no social network, whereas
her mother did?
And
the explanation that this person gave was because
her father was necessarily,
(19:53):
and this is this is the burden of
of for for many,
having to was the sole breadwinner, basically.
And, has put wanted to put the kids
through college, all the all the things. Right?
But as a result,
he didn't cultivate those other sides of his
life.
And I suppose that's one of the perils,
I suppose, of over identifying or over allowing
(20:15):
one particular domain of your identity to take
over. Is because you also think,
well, how would this how would this person
have benefited from being able to to
have an identity outside of his work.
I assume that he had no, you know,
let's let's say that he had very little
choice, but that is that is something that
(20:36):
is lost I think if somebody
is essentially, you know, the quote married to
your work kind of thing. And I actually
blame him.
Right.
Because I'm gonna treat him as an adult.
Uh-huh. And as an adult,
you are metaphorically the captain of your ship,
which is one of the points of what
we'll get to.
And I hope it doesn't sound overly harsh
(20:57):
because my intent is not to have adulthood
feel onerous or burdensome to him. I
want him to feel empowered and liberated
to decide
how much of his time and energy
will be allocated
to
one area of his life and how much
(21:19):
time will be allocated to the other parts.
It is tremendously
empowering
to realize that you're the captain of your
ship, and where you're going to end up
in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years
is determined
by which way you're pointing the vessel.
So
it is to
empower
(21:39):
and liberate
this person that I say that I blame
him.
When I started to count myself as an
adult,
I wanted more responsibility.
I knew that I was taking the risk
of being criticized.
It's because
I felt
that
(22:00):
to to be effective in the world, I
needed responsibility
and therefore exposure to blame
That's why I I I took on both
at the same time.
I think it would be quite impossible
to to take on
responsibility
and then
try to say your hands are clean
(22:20):
when things are go wrong. The the 2
have to go head in hand. Is is
there,
is there a cultural fear of of blame?
Is there a sort of a a
how can I put it? Do do you
see what I'm getting at? There's
there's a lot of toxic shame in a
lot of people around the world, and there's
such a thing as healthy shame, which regulates
(22:41):
your behavior. There's also such a thing as
toxic shame, which is detrimental and really to
to no benefit.
So But there's there's a difference between that
and,
accepting responsibility
and also accepting,
therefore accepting when you fall short of your
goals or you you fall short of where
you pitched for, you know. Yeah. So the
(23:02):
the the reason I have to bring this
up is that a lot of people don't
differentiate
what you're talking about, which is falling short
of of things you
commit set out to do or committed to.
Right.
And who you are as a person
because the feeling of shame is that you're
fundamentally
bad as a person independently
of the things you do or do not
(23:23):
do. Right.
So
because of this conflation
between your badness
and the, quote, badness of one's actions or
the badness of one's outcome,
people see bad outcomes
as personally shameful to them, and that's what
I want to kind of tease out and
have people separate
(23:44):
in their own hearts and minds where they
can still be a good person and make
mistakes.
They can still be
not a perfect, let's say, parent or doctor,
but a good enough one that they can
still sleep well at night and feel good
about themselves.
When shame
becomes overwhelming,
(24:06):
when people get into these so called shame
spirals
and they'll often drink too much, or use
too many drugs, or sleep too much, it
is again detrimental to no benefit.
So
at the same time that I'm talking about
how I'm blaming.
Yeah. Your friend. It is because I value
(24:28):
him as an adult man. I've never met
the guy. Yeah. I'm assuming he's over 18
and he's human. So I value him as
an adult man because that's
who he is.
Because of that,
I can
point out
that he's responsible for ending up where he's
at in life.
(24:49):
He's also responsible
for where he's gonna end up in 5
or 10 years. And what he does next.
Yeah.
And the the the actions then
are separate from who he is as a
person.
And because the actions are separate from who
he is as a person,
he can change his actions without feeling personal
(25:09):
shame.
Mhmm. Yeah. Fair enough. And and also I
suppose there's,
also part of being an adult is being
able to
face
face up to things and to own up
to where you failed and to own up
without without it turning into shame, in fact.
That could be, again, going back to the
self assurance at the beginning, is that you
(25:29):
have self assurance enough to say, yep, that
was me. I farted in the lift. I
farted in the elevator. You know, that that
sort of, yep. Alright. Yep.
We'll talk quite a bit in various contexts
about how adulthood
partly means to align with reality, to to
see reality, to acknowledge it, to acknowledge it
as quickly as possible, and then to accept
as quickly as we can. That this is
(25:49):
one of the markers of a mature adult.
Okay. So as a teaser, here is a
list of the axioms or fundamental principles that
we'll be outlining in the future episodes,
on what it takes to be an adult.
How to embrace responsibility
and take charge of your life.
Treat yourself with respect and esteem.
(26:13):
Benefit from the value of truth. Capital t
truth.
Be a producer, not just a consumer.
Define your priorities and define the steps to
achieve them.
And then finally, be prosocial
and leave the world a better place than
you found it. Because you were born human.
So dig a bit more into what this
(26:34):
podcast is gonna be like then. I mean,
we could just sit here and say, you
should do this, you should do that.
Or we could say, you know, this is
good, this is bad. Is that how you
see this going? Absolutely not. No. No. Why
would I moralize?
Well, so so the the the this subject
matter of how to be an adult,
(26:55):
I think is gonna be triggering for a
lot of people
because
when they
came of age, their parents started giving them
more household chores
and they started talking about how you're going
to be an adult soon. And then adulthood
started to have
connotations
of
a burden.
(27:16):
And I don't see adulthood like that at
all.
To communicate
to to to to our listeners
how I feel about adulthood,
I think I have to communicate in ways
completely devoid of judgment and moralizing.
So, some of our listeners
want to be pillars of their community,
(27:36):
and other
listeners might just want to be unrepentant
hedonists.
And either way
the principles that we just talked about yeah
are going to be relevant yeah either way,
you can have a very happy
life.
I'm just trying to guide people
(27:57):
when their parents
and their teachers
and like Little League coaches
didn't give them
the proper guidance
as to how to be a happy adult.
So if they learn how to be a
miserable adult because of their role models, then
this I mean,
that's who I've made the podcast for. And
this this also suggests that
(28:17):
the principles that you're you're, you know, you're
gonna be talking about, that we're gonna be
talking about
are are common to all humans and not,
they don't start off from a position of
you being a particular specific individual,
and
speak specifically to your
the detail of your reality, but these are
(28:38):
principles that
are
overarching. So that
they're not based in
the individual, but as in the general truths
about what it is to be human. Is
that right?
It's the endeavor.
Right.
I I am setting aside
the idea
that there are no universals
among human beings.
(28:59):
To me, the idea that there are no
universals among human beings is just as far
fetched as the idea that there are no
universals among all dogs. Yeah. Or among all
cats.
Where
approaching
a strange mixed breed in the dog park
and treating that animal like they're a
(29:19):
dog will probably not produce any egregious errors
in your behavior.
You don't have to try to figure out,
okay, well, I mean, what mix of pure
preeds is that animal?
That's not a way of thinking that's gonna
produce
a better way to interact with the animal.
Even trying to figure out is it male
(29:40):
or female, that's not gonna produce a better
way for interacting with the animal. If you
kind of recognize the dogness in the animal
and treat the animal as a dog, you
won't make any egregious errors.
I am
advancing the claim that if if there is
a gigantic
overlapping part of the Venn diagram that that
describes 8,000,000,000 people. And if we interact with
(30:02):
people
accounting for this gigantic overlapping center of the
Venn diagram, we are not making any egregious
errors.
It's when we kind of look at the
thin slices on the edges of the Venn
diagram where we find the differences,
that's where our attention
would be on, I think, superficial
matters.
So yes, I am seeking a universalist
(30:25):
life
philosophy
that transcends
time and culture.
Whether we'll succeed in the endeavor, the listeners
can judge over the next however many episodes.
I have a belief. But that at least
is the direction I'm sailing toward.
Then what,
what gives us the right to talk about
any of this? Well, funny, go first.
(30:46):
Okay. Well, I'm Pascal Langdell. I'm
an actor of 30 odd years. I've studied
human behavior
in order to become other people
in in quite some depth, and
everything from nonverbal behavior to psychophysical,
acting techniques and so on. But this makes
(31:06):
me a keen observer of the human
condition even as I am a flawed human
being as well.
But I've learned from every character I ever
played and I learned the most from those
characters I played the best.
I've also
worn many hats and been,
so so the 75% socially mediated identity.
I've also, been a business developer. I've also,
(31:29):
built fences,
done construction, and all the rest of it.
And also being a father
as well, that's a revolution in your whole,
identity too.
And now blended family. So the
the ongoing
process of being an adult is something that's
I felt very keenly for for my entire
(31:49):
adult life basically.
Alright. So that's that's, that's,
my background. What about you?
As for myself,
I'm Luke Chao.
I'm a hypnotherapist.
I've been once since I was 23 years
old. We're actually right now sitting in my
old office, which we've converted to a studio.
And over the past
(32:11):
17 years,
we've hypnotized over 8,000
people,
probably about half of
whom I've hypnotized myself.
So this universalism
that I strive for and claim that I
have
comes from
these thousands of clients
(32:31):
I've gotten to
know
and then help.
One of the challenges of a hypnotherapist is
we have
to work on the short timelines that people
expect us to work on. So no one
expects to be in hypnotherapy for years like
they expect to be in psychotherapy for years.
So I've had to kind of universalize
(32:53):
from earlier cases.
General principles
I could apply to later cases
because I literally don't have the timeline to
get to know each client as an individual.
I have to treat them
as human first
and then individual qualities
as finer grained details
(33:14):
that fall under their humanity.
That's where a lot of the content for
this podcast will come from.
I'm not just examining my own life, I
am primarily
drawing this material
from
the various cases I've worked with and
specifically
not
(33:34):
individuals
but the generalized
principles that arise from so many cases.
And as
a double check, I also check with myself.
And I ask myself,
does the principle apply to me personally?
And that's part of my universalism Yeah. Where
if it applies to me and it applies
to all these these people who I don't
(33:55):
know as well, but I can generalize from,
then probably the principal's sound enough to broadcast
to the Internet on a podcast called how
to be an adult.
Thank you for listening. That brings our first
episode to a close. If you like what
you've heard here, Pascal and I are both
available for hire through the Morpheus Clinic For
Hypnosis
in Toronto, Canada,
and we're also seeing clients worldwide online.
(34:18):
The website is morphiscinic.com,
and you can ask for a free consultation
there.
As hypnotherapists,
we're basically practical philosophers
at heart
where the ideas you've heard us talk about
during this episode,
we instill in our clients. I know you
probably have a lot of questions about the
h word, but that's what the consultation process
(34:40):
will be about.
So if you, are interested, follow us on
YouTube
at Morpheus Hypnosis,
or, you can listen to the podcast, subscribe
on Spotify
or Apple Podcasts or wherever it is you
get your podcasts.
Watch out for our next episode where we
fill out some of these foundational principles
on how to be an adult.
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