August 26, 2019 • 22 mins
On this episode, I talk about how to get started on your creative work: getting past excuses, making tradeoffs, setting boundaries, and finding a support network.
Here’s what I discussed on this episode:
- Business Christmas podcast
- Theodora Blanchfield/This May Be Oversharing… podcast
- Creative Mornings
- My accountability partner, Ivy Jelisavac | Twitter
- My social presence: Instagram | Twitter
- HTBC Instagram
You can find a full episode transcript at https://howtobecreative.org/2019/08/26/episode-1-getting-started/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:04):
You're listening to How to Be Creative, a podcast about
what it means to be creativeacross different disciplines,
industries, life circumstances,and career structures.
You'll learn tips for fittingcreativity into your daily life
and hear from a bunch ofdifferent people about how being
creative has helped them reachgoals, open doors, and live a
more rewarding--or at least moreinteresting--life.
(00:25):
I'm your host, Kat O'Leary, andI'm excited to introduce you to
some of my favorite creatives,as well as to the tools that
help me get my most crucial workdone.
Kat (00:37):
Hi, and welcome to How to Be Creative.
So this is the part where I tryto sound super peppy and upbeat,
despite the fact that I amrecording this alone in my
apartment with no company exceptfor my cat, who is staring at me
like I'm a lunatic.
Also, I discovered when I wentto pull out my podcast mic
(00:58):
earlier that the a stand for itis apparently broken.
So I now have to record thisentire episode holding the mic
in front of me and I really feellike I'm on like Star Search or
American Idol or something.
But welcome to How to BeCreative, which is a podcast
about living a creative life.
(01:21):
For the first episode I thoughtI would talk a little bit about
what to expect, and then we'llget into some tips on getting
started.
First of all, the format of thispodcast: I will be alternating
between solo episodes like thisone, where I talk about the
different tips and tools thathave worked for me in getting my
(01:44):
creative work done.
And then on the off weeks I'llshare interviews with creative
people.
And so that can mean a lot ofdifferent things.
So the first few episodes we'llprobably feature what you would
think of as traditionalcreatives--so artists, writers,
etc.
And then later on, I hope toexpand that to include people
(02:07):
who are using creativity infields that maybe you wouldn't
necessarily associate with beingcreative.
So programmers, civil engineers,mathematicians, maybe some
accountants(maybe we can get mydad on here!).
Really my goal is to reinforcethe idea that everyone is
creative and everyone can live acreative life and it doesn't
have to be this massiveundertaking.
(02:29):
It doesn't have to be how youspend your nine to five hours.
There's just a lot ofopportunity out there.
And I think in a lot of cases wekind of psych ourselves out by
feeling like creativity is thisthing that either you have or
you don't have.
And I really think it's likeanything else; it's a skill that
can be developed.
(02:50):
So that is kind of my goal inbringing this to you, in
addition to hoping to introduceyou to some people whose work
and perspectives may not bealready familiar with.
So a little bit of background onme.
My name is Kat O'Leary.
I live in Brooklyn, New York.
I have a day job in digitalcommunications and I also have
(03:13):
another podcast about HallmarkChristmas movies with my best
friend Nicole.
That podcast is called BusinessChristmas and you should
definitely check it out.
We post episodes year-rounddespite the Christmas theme.
I'm also at work on a couple ofnovels, one of which I'm in the
process of polishing up to pitchto agents.
So that's a big goal for me byend of year 2019.
(03:36):
Note that my goal is not landinga literary agent, because that
is something that is outside ofmy control.
The goal is very much to do thework of actually polishing this
thing up and pitching it out.
That is something that I cancontrol.
So I'm very much a work inprogress in terms of actually
making money from my creativework.
But the thing I have figured outis how to actually do the work
(03:59):
in the first place.
So that's something I can sharewith you.
Today I'm going to talk aboutgetting started.
My assumption is that if you'relistening, you probably have
something you want to do: something creative. (04:10):
undefined
And I want to start this sectionof the podcast with a disclaimer
that yes, I understand that somepeople are in fact too busy to
add anything else to theirlives.
So any advice I offer isprobably not going to be
relevant for people who let'ssay work, you know, 15 hour days
(04:33):
at a big law firm or who areworking multiple jobs to support
their family.
Right?
So some of these things are, youknow, especially the one, the
first thing I'm going to talkabout is getting past excuses.
I obviously maybe not, obviouslyI acknowledge that there are
people who are not makingexcuses.
This actually the reality oftheir lives, that they do not
(04:55):
have time to do anything big.
And for those people, I think myadvice would be to think about
what is the smallest possibleway that you can make a change.
And maybe it's just listening tothis podcast while you are
trapped at your desk at work oron your commute or another
(05:15):
podcast about creativity, justto kind of expand how you think
about things.
Maybe it's taking a differentroute to work.
Maybe it's stopping to meditatefor even a minute or two.
The wisdom seems to be, oh, youneed to meditate for at least 10
minutes or 20 minutes, and Idon't think that's true.
I think any time we can kind ofpause and just be present in the
(05:37):
moment, that has value, even ifyou're not able to do it more
than for more than a minute ortwo.
With that said, okay, so I'mgoing to start by talking about
getting past excuses.
So in my experience, excuses areusually driven by either fear or
resistance.
Fear that if you make finallymake space to do the thing, it
(05:57):
might not be good.
And resistance to the hard workyou'll actually have to commit
to if you make time for whateverit is you've been saying you
want to do.
So with fear, the fear that ifyou finally make space to do the
thing, it might not be good.
An example of that is writingfor me.
I spend a lot of time writing bymyself and don't show it to
(06:20):
anyone.
That's kind of a safe space forme.
Right?
Like I can hold onto this ideathat my work is good because I
haven't done anything with it.
I haven't put it out there, Ihaven't gotten any feedback on
it.
But if I actually, you know,finished something and then have
to, say, pitch it out somewhereand the feedback I get is
(06:43):
negative, then I might have toreckon with the fact that my
work is either not as good as Ithink it is, or I have farther
to go in getting it to the pointwhere it's publishable than I
might currently think, justwriting alone in my apartment.
And then with resistance...
So I think this podcast is agood example for me to use on
(07:04):
this.
So one of the things I've beenthinking about a lot recently,
and I think this may end upbeing a future solo episode, is
figuring out the differencebetween things I don't want to
do and things I don't feel likedoing.
So things I don't want to do arelike projects that maybe made
(07:26):
sense at one time, or it wasjust an idea I was throwing out
and hadn't fully committed to.
And then I realize, wait, thisisn't where I'm at, this isn't
what I want to do or how I wantto spend my time right now.
Whereas things I don't feel likedoing are kind of the less
interesting or fun parts ofprojects that I am truly
(07:46):
passionate about.
I talked to my friend Theodorawho is actually a future guest
and we were talking aboutpodcasting.
She also has a podcast, it'scalled This May Be Oversharing.
It's really great.
You should check it out.
It's a series of conversationswith people about kind of the
things that we most need to betalking about but aren't talking
about.
So she and I were talking aboutpodcasting and we were saying
(08:09):
that, you know, we like having apodcast, we like recording
episodes, and then we don't likeall of the other stuff that goes
along with that.
Things like having to sit downand edit the podcast or having
to write the podcast descriptionor name an episode or whatever
it is.
So for me, those are things Idon't feel like doing.
And sometimes those can feellike things I don't want to do
(08:33):
and I'll just have this idea oflike, oh, maybe I don't want to
commit to this project becauseif it were really how I wanted
to spend my time, I'd feel goodabout it all the time.
And that's just not true.
There's this idea, I don'tremember who said it, but it's
something like,"Do something youlove and you'll never work a day
in your life." That concept hasseen a good deal of backlash
(08:55):
lately, and I think it's forgood reason.
The idea that just becauseyou're doing something that is
what you truly are meant to door you're on the right path,
that doesn't mean you're nevergoing to have days where it's a
struggle to do literallyanything.
So just thinking about thosethings that you don't feel like
doing can end up leading toresistance to do your work.
(09:15):
Next, be honest about the time you do have and what you're
willing to give up.
So the thing about making timefor creative work is that time
is a finite resource and it hasto come from somewhere.
If you're saying you want towrite for half an hour every
(09:36):
day, well to find that half houryou have to trade something,
right?
So it may mean waking up half anhour earlier.
It may mean hiring a babysitterif your kids are home with you
during the day.
And it's a challenge to findtime to write.
Outside of that, I kind of turninto a hermit from time to time
and I turn down socialinvitations and stop watching
(09:58):
TV.
Lately one of the things thatI've sacrificed is getting
exercise regularly.
So actually this morning I justchopped six inches off my hair,
because I wanted to make timefor distance running again
without giving up any of thetime that I'm spending on my
creative work.
And as I mentioned, I have afull time job, so at least eight
(10:19):
hours of my day, or more if I'mnot working from home, is taken
up with my day job.
And that's kind of a best casescenario.
You know, there are busier timesat work where I might work a
10-hour day or even more whenthings are super busy.
So yeah, the thing that had togo for me was my hair because
until this morning I had prettylong, pretty thick hair.
(10:42):
I still have t hick h air, butat least this way, you know,
it'll be an hour start to finishto do my hair versus two hours.
On the positive side though, Ithink one of the great things
about reprioritizing in order toput your creative work front and
center is that this also givesyou an excuse to get out of
things that are really otherpeople's priorities.
(11:02):
Social engagements that youreally weren't that excited
about, maybe a friendship whereyou're fine with seeing the
person maybe once a quarter andclearly they want more than that
from you.
Kat (11:13):
This is maybe the time to kind of set that boundary, which
is actually the next thing (11:16):
Set boundaries with other people in
your life.
So let's just be clear thatthere are a lot of people who
have boundary issues and a lotof those people will steamroll
over you and your priorities ifyou let them.
So it's important to protectyourself, not just protecting
your time, which I think is akey piece of this, but there are
some other ways that you'reprobably going to need to
(11:37):
protect yourself in order to getyour work done, especially if
you're early on in whateveryou're doing, whether it's
writing, painting, starting aside business.
There are unfortunately probablygoing to be people in your life
who aren't supportive.
These people may be people youlove.
They might be your siblings,some close friends, and also
some people who are maybe usedto your life being about them
(12:00):
and their needs, which soundslike a thinly veiled description
of children, but I swear I'mactually talking about adults
with boundary issues here.
(12:07):
So I think a key thing, and this is something that I really
didn't understand until probablya couple of years ago, is that
you don't have to tell everyonewhat you're working on.
It is not dishonest to not tellevery person in your life
everything about your life.
If you have the sense thatsomeone is not going to support
(12:28):
your work or is going to say,you know, a comment that will
discourage you, especially ifyou're early on in doing your
work and you're maybe on kind ofshaky ground.
You definitely don't need anyform of discouragement.
It's very easy to let that kindof snowball in your head and
prevent you from moving forward.
So, I mean, protect yourself tothe degree you can.
(12:49):
So instead of telling them whatyou're working on, what can you
stay instead?
Kat (12:53):
Fortunately, we have a bunch of excuses that are
considered appropriate reasonsto be unavailable to people.
So you can just kind of borrowone of those, regardless of
whether they are true or not.
So I think the easiest is to sayyou have to work.
And the good news is, for thoseof you who are pathologically
honest, this one's not even alie.
(13:13):
Just don't say what you'reworking on because honestly work
that doesn't yet earn you moneyis still work.
In order to get to a point whereyou are bringing in money from
your creative work, if that'syour goal--and it doesn't have
to be--you need to actually dothe work.
So really you are settingyourself, your future self up
for success and yeah, successcan mean a lot of things I think
(13:36):
in a capitalist society and Ithink that's actually why this
excuse works, right?
Because everyone values work.
Work is important.
Work is something you are fullywithin your rights to spend your
time and energy on.
But I think also theintersection of art and
capitalism is an interestingquestion that I think I'll
probably tackle with a few of myfuture interview guests.
(13:58):
But your creative work hasintrinsic value.
It's not only valuable if it's ameans of earning money.
(14:04):
Okay, so another excuse
You can make something up.
That's one that's really hardfor me.
I spent a long time feeling likeit was never okay to tell a lie.
I have kind of changed my mindabout this, especially because
people who don't respect yourright to allocate your own time,
honestly, they kind of deserveto be lied to.
(14:25):
Sorry.
And then another thing you canjust say, sorry, I'm not free
then.
Kat (14:31):
And actually you can pretty much drop the, sorry; you don't
need to apologize for not beingfree.
So just say I'm not free.
This is an advanced-level excusebecause it takes a lot of
emotional work before you canget to the point where you're
even comfortable saying it outloud and not elaborating.
And then if, if you drop thisone on someone and they ask you
for more information, like,"Oh,what are you doing?" You can
(14:54):
always decide to say that youwould rather not talk about it
and you're fully within yourrights to do so.
And then here's another one.
Set boundaries with yourself.
So the good news is I think thisis a little bit easier than
setting boundaries with otherpeople because it doesn't
involve the feelings of otherswho are maybe used to engaging
(15:15):
with you in a specific way thatmight be shifting slightly as
you prioritize your creativework.
So some ways that you can setboundaries with yourself: Block
out time on your calendar andtreat it as a commitment like
any other.
This sounds very simple, but Ithink it's also very easy to
glance at your calendar, seethat you've blocked out, I don't
know, two hours to paint orwhatever it is, and then feel
(15:38):
like, oh, that's not a realappointment.
Those aren't real plans.
And then, you know, let someoneelse have that slot on your
calendar.
That's a really great way toensure that you never get your
work done.
And it's probably wrapped up insome of that fear and resistance
that we talked about earlier.
(15:57):
Also, set clear goals and milestones, and then attach them
to hard deadlines.
And in doing this, make sureyou're being reasonable about
what you can accomplish so thatyou're not always missing the
mark, which can be discouragingand may prevent you from even
trying to commit to gettingstuff done in the future.
And then, find a supportnetwork.
(16:18):
This can be hard depending onwhere you live, which people
you're surrounded by most of thetime.
But the good news is it can looklike a lot of different things.
I just wanted to talk through afew different ways to find that.
One is, think about who youknow, who is working on
something.
Rewind back to, I don't know,about a year or so ago, and I
(16:41):
thought I didn't have an artistcommunity.
And then I had this idea of, Oh,you know, I'd like to, I'd like
to have a creative circle,because I felt like that was
something that was lacking in mylife.
And so, as I was thinking abouthow to do this and how to find
people, I realized I alreadyknew writers, visual artists,
(17:03):
activists, photographers, zinemakers, filmmakers--all these
people who were kind of hidingin plain sight, maybe because
most of the people I know aredoing something else in their
nine to five jobs.
Kat (17:17):
But chances are high, you know, at least one person with
even just a cool hobby that'smeaningful to them.
Something they do outside ofwork, whether it's fishing or
knitting or really anything.
The key thing is to find someonewho is passionate about
something.
Yes, it would be easier if it'skind of an indoor sport like
writing or photography or someother crafting or some other
(17:40):
kind of creative pursuit wheremaybe you can set up some kind
of accountability together.
That's probably easier.
But you know, at a bare minimum,try to find one person who is
doing something outside of howthey earn money that they're
passionate about.
And this also might mean thatyou have to open up about your
own work.
(18:01):
Let's say you're looking around,you're not finding that person,
maybe dip your toe in andmention to two or three people
some of the things that you'reworking on.
That might be the space thatother people need to feel safe
in revealing their own projectsor side pursuits.
(18:19):
And then, look for things to join in your town or city.
So there's an organizationcalled Creative Mornings.
It is in, I want to say, 200plus cities worldwide.
If you're in a larger city, youmay have access to that.
It's a monthly breakfast eventfor the creative community.
And they also have started doingsome FieldTrips in some major
(18:42):
cities in the U.S.
and Canada.
So those are things you can lookinto as well.
Your library probably offerssome kind of programming that
you don't even know about.
Here in Brooklyn, our libraryoffers things like meditation,
Tai Chi, philosophy talks in thenearby park.
So look into that and see ifthere's something there.
Also bookstores tend to have alot of events.
(19:05):
Obviously in, in a city like NewYork, it's kind of an
embarrassment of riches, thedegree to which we have things
like this, but even in smalltowns or small cities, there are
definitely arts centers andbookstores that will offer
things like this.
So bookstore events, whetherthey're readings or other
things, classes, and thenlooking on Meetup, Eventbrite or
(19:26):
other event sites for thingsthat are happening in your neck
of the woods.
And then if you're not reallyfinding what you look you're
looking for, you can alwaysstart something.
You can start a meetup or postan event on Eventbrite or teach
a class in a subject you're anexpert in.
You could start a craft circle.
There are endless possibilities,but you actually have to sit
(19:46):
down and think about them, andit may take a little bit more
legwork in a smaller city ortown.
Kat (19:54):
And then let's say you've looked around, you've tried to
find the community that you'reseeking and you're not finding
it.
The good news is the Internetexists.
You either can lean on existingsocial media friends, and that
might include people you'veknown in real life throughout
various stages of your lifewho've become social media
friends.
Maybe you don't live in the samecity anymore, but in general,
(20:16):
online friends are awesome.
And in a world where most peopleare meeting their partners
online, we can maybe finally beokay with the fact that it's
cool to make friends online aswell.
Some of my closest in real lifefriends began as online friends.
(20:29):
One great example of a way that I've built creative
community online is myaccountability partner Ivy,
who's a filmmaker based inEurope.
She and I originally met througha Facebook group, became friends
on other social media channels,and when I was looking for an
(20:52):
accountability partner, sheimmediately came to mind as
someone that I would love towork with.
And so she and I have had thispartnership for a little over a
year and a half now.
We've become really good friendsand honestly, if I didn't have
any of the other creativecommunities I've built or the
access to events that I've had,I would definitely feel less
(21:15):
alone as an artist just byvirtue of having Ivy to lean on.
So those are just a few ways toget started.
If you have any questions or ifyou need some additional
motivation, feel free to find meon social media.
I am@katoleary or you can emailme at kat.oleary@gmail.com.
(21:39):
So next week I'm chatting withKimberly Enjoli about the
intersection of art andactivism.
I'm really, really excited aboutthis interview.
I learned so much from myconversation with Kimberly and I
suspect you will learn a lot aswell.
Just in the couple ofconversations that I've had
since I recorded that episode,the response to the things that
(22:01):
she talked about, the feedbackthat I've gotten on the topic,
everyone has been like,"Oh myGod, I wanted to know about that
too." So I'm really excited tobring you that conversation next
week.
In the meantime, you can checkout the show notes at
howtobecreative.org for links tothe things I've discussed during
this episode, and I will catchyou next time.
Outro (22:29):
So that's this week's episode of How to Be Creative.
As always, you can find shownotes, including a complete
episode transcript and links toeverything discussed, at
howtobecreative.org.
You're listening to How to Be Creative, a podcast about
what it means to be creativeacross different disciplines,
industries, life circumstances,and career structures.
You'll learn tips for fittingcreativity into your daily life
and hear from a bunch ofdifferent people about how being
creative has helped them reachgoals, open doors, and live a
more rewarding--or at least moreinteresting--life.
(00:25):
I'm your host, Kat O'Leary, andI'm excited to introduce you to
some of my favorite creatives,as well as to the tools that
help me get my most crucial workdone.
Kat (00:37):
Hi, and welcome to How to Be Creative.
So this is the part where I tryto sound super peppy and upbeat,
despite the fact that I amrecording this alone in my
apartment with no company exceptfor my cat, who is staring at me
like I'm a lunatic.
Also, I discovered when I wentto pull out my podcast mic
(00:58):
earlier that the a stand for itis apparently broken.
So I now have to record thisentire episode holding the mic
in front of me and I really feellike I'm on like Star Search or
American Idol or something.
But welcome to How to BeCreative, which is a podcast
about living a creative life.
(01:21):
For the first episode I thoughtI would talk a little bit about
what to expect, and then we'llget into some tips on getting
started.
First of all, the format of thispodcast: I will be alternating
between solo episodes like thisone, where I talk about the
different tips and tools thathave worked for me in getting my
(01:44):
creative work done.
And then on the off weeks I'llshare interviews with creative
people.
And so that can mean a lot ofdifferent things.
So the first few episodes we'llprobably feature what you would
think of as traditionalcreatives--so artists, writers,
etc.
And then later on, I hope toexpand that to include people
(02:07):
who are using creativity infields that maybe you wouldn't
necessarily associate with beingcreative.
So programmers, civil engineers,mathematicians, maybe some
accountants(maybe we can get mydad on here!).
Really my goal is to reinforcethe idea that everyone is
creative and everyone can live acreative life and it doesn't
have to be this massiveundertaking.
(02:29):
It doesn't have to be how youspend your nine to five hours.
There's just a lot ofopportunity out there.
And I think in a lot of cases wekind of psych ourselves out by
feeling like creativity is thisthing that either you have or
you don't have.
And I really think it's likeanything else; it's a skill that
can be developed.
(02:50):
So that is kind of my goal inbringing this to you, in
addition to hoping to introduceyou to some people whose work
and perspectives may not bealready familiar with.
So a little bit of background onme.
My name is Kat O'Leary.
I live in Brooklyn, New York.
I have a day job in digitalcommunications and I also have
(03:13):
another podcast about HallmarkChristmas movies with my best
friend Nicole.
That podcast is called BusinessChristmas and you should
definitely check it out.
We post episodes year-rounddespite the Christmas theme.
I'm also at work on a couple ofnovels, one of which I'm in the
process of polishing up to pitchto agents.
So that's a big goal for me byend of year 2019.
(03:36):
Note that my goal is not landinga literary agent, because that
is something that is outside ofmy control.
The goal is very much to do thework of actually polishing this
thing up and pitching it out.
That is something that I cancontrol.
So I'm very much a work inprogress in terms of actually
making money from my creativework.
But the thing I have figured outis how to actually do the work
(03:59):
in the first place.
So that's something I can sharewith you.
Today I'm going to talk aboutgetting started.
My assumption is that if you'relistening, you probably have
something you want to do: something creative. (04:10):
undefined
And I want to start this sectionof the podcast with a disclaimer
that yes, I understand that somepeople are in fact too busy to
add anything else to theirlives.
So any advice I offer isprobably not going to be
relevant for people who let'ssay work, you know, 15 hour days
(04:33):
at a big law firm or who areworking multiple jobs to support
their family.
Right?
So some of these things are, youknow, especially the one, the
first thing I'm going to talkabout is getting past excuses.
I obviously maybe not, obviouslyI acknowledge that there are
people who are not makingexcuses.
This actually the reality oftheir lives, that they do not
(04:55):
have time to do anything big.
And for those people, I think myadvice would be to think about
what is the smallest possibleway that you can make a change.
And maybe it's just listening tothis podcast while you are
trapped at your desk at work oron your commute or another
(05:15):
podcast about creativity, justto kind of expand how you think
about things.
Maybe it's taking a differentroute to work.
Maybe it's stopping to meditatefor even a minute or two.
The wisdom seems to be, oh, youneed to meditate for at least 10
minutes or 20 minutes, and Idon't think that's true.
I think any time we can kind ofpause and just be present in the
(05:37):
moment, that has value, even ifyou're not able to do it more
than for more than a minute ortwo.
With that said, okay, so I'mgoing to start by talking about
getting past excuses.
So in my experience, excuses areusually driven by either fear or
resistance.
Fear that if you make finallymake space to do the thing, it
(05:57):
might not be good.
And resistance to the hard workyou'll actually have to commit
to if you make time for whateverit is you've been saying you
want to do.
So with fear, the fear that ifyou finally make space to do the
thing, it might not be good.
An example of that is writingfor me.
I spend a lot of time writing bymyself and don't show it to
(06:20):
anyone.
That's kind of a safe space forme.
Right?
Like I can hold onto this ideathat my work is good because I
haven't done anything with it.
I haven't put it out there, Ihaven't gotten any feedback on
it.
But if I actually, you know,finished something and then have
to, say, pitch it out somewhereand the feedback I get is
(06:43):
negative, then I might have toreckon with the fact that my
work is either not as good as Ithink it is, or I have farther
to go in getting it to the pointwhere it's publishable than I
might currently think, justwriting alone in my apartment.
And then with resistance...
So I think this podcast is agood example for me to use on
(07:04):
this.
So one of the things I've beenthinking about a lot recently,
and I think this may end upbeing a future solo episode, is
figuring out the differencebetween things I don't want to
do and things I don't feel likedoing.
So things I don't want to do arelike projects that maybe made
(07:26):
sense at one time, or it wasjust an idea I was throwing out
and hadn't fully committed to.
And then I realize, wait, thisisn't where I'm at, this isn't
what I want to do or how I wantto spend my time right now.
Whereas things I don't feel likedoing are kind of the less
interesting or fun parts ofprojects that I am truly
(07:46):
passionate about.
I talked to my friend Theodorawho is actually a future guest
and we were talking aboutpodcasting.
She also has a podcast, it'scalled This May Be Oversharing.
It's really great.
You should check it out.
It's a series of conversationswith people about kind of the
things that we most need to betalking about but aren't talking
about.
So she and I were talking aboutpodcasting and we were saying
(08:09):
that, you know, we like having apodcast, we like recording
episodes, and then we don't likeall of the other stuff that goes
along with that.
Things like having to sit downand edit the podcast or having
to write the podcast descriptionor name an episode or whatever
it is.
So for me, those are things Idon't feel like doing.
And sometimes those can feellike things I don't want to do
(08:33):
and I'll just have this idea oflike, oh, maybe I don't want to
commit to this project becauseif it were really how I wanted
to spend my time, I'd feel goodabout it all the time.
And that's just not true.
There's this idea, I don'tremember who said it, but it's
something like,"Do something youlove and you'll never work a day
in your life." That concept hasseen a good deal of backlash
(08:55):
lately, and I think it's forgood reason.
The idea that just becauseyou're doing something that is
what you truly are meant to door you're on the right path,
that doesn't mean you're nevergoing to have days where it's a
struggle to do literallyanything.
So just thinking about thosethings that you don't feel like
doing can end up leading toresistance to do your work.
(09:15):
Next, be honest about the time you do have and what you're
willing to give up.
So the thing about making timefor creative work is that time
is a finite resource and it hasto come from somewhere.
If you're saying you want towrite for half an hour every
(09:36):
day, well to find that half houryou have to trade something,
right?
So it may mean waking up half anhour earlier.
It may mean hiring a babysitterif your kids are home with you
during the day.
And it's a challenge to findtime to write.
Outside of that, I kind of turninto a hermit from time to time
and I turn down socialinvitations and stop watching
(09:58):
TV.
Lately one of the things thatI've sacrificed is getting
exercise regularly.
So actually this morning I justchopped six inches off my hair,
because I wanted to make timefor distance running again
without giving up any of thetime that I'm spending on my
creative work.
And as I mentioned, I have afull time job, so at least eight
(10:19):
hours of my day, or more if I'mnot working from home, is taken
up with my day job.
And that's kind of a best casescenario.
You know, there are busier timesat work where I might work a
10-hour day or even more whenthings are super busy.
So yeah, the thing that had togo for me was my hair because
until this morning I had prettylong, pretty thick hair.
(10:42):
I still have t hick h air, butat least this way, you know,
it'll be an hour start to finishto do my hair versus two hours.
On the positive side though, Ithink one of the great things
about reprioritizing in order toput your creative work front and
center is that this also givesyou an excuse to get out of
things that are really otherpeople's priorities.
(11:02):
Social engagements that youreally weren't that excited
about, maybe a friendship whereyou're fine with seeing the
person maybe once a quarter andclearly they want more than that
from you.
Kat (11:13):
This is maybe the time to kind of set that boundary, which
is actually the next thing (11:16):
Set boundaries with other people in
your life.
So let's just be clear thatthere are a lot of people who
have boundary issues and a lotof those people will steamroll
over you and your priorities ifyou let them.
So it's important to protectyourself, not just protecting
your time, which I think is akey piece of this, but there are
some other ways that you'reprobably going to need to
(11:37):
protect yourself in order to getyour work done, especially if
you're early on in whateveryou're doing, whether it's
writing, painting, starting aside business.
There are unfortunately probablygoing to be people in your life
who aren't supportive.
These people may be people youlove.
They might be your siblings,some close friends, and also
some people who are maybe usedto your life being about them
(12:00):
and their needs, which soundslike a thinly veiled description
of children, but I swear I'mactually talking about adults
with boundary issues here.
(12:07):
So I think a key thing, and this is something that I really
didn't understand until probablya couple of years ago, is that
you don't have to tell everyonewhat you're working on.
It is not dishonest to not tellevery person in your life
everything about your life.
If you have the sense thatsomeone is not going to support
(12:28):
your work or is going to say,you know, a comment that will
discourage you, especially ifyou're early on in doing your
work and you're maybe on kind ofshaky ground.
You definitely don't need anyform of discouragement.
It's very easy to let that kindof snowball in your head and
prevent you from moving forward.
So, I mean, protect yourself tothe degree you can.
(12:49):
So instead of telling them whatyou're working on, what can you
stay instead?
Kat (12:53):
Fortunately, we have a bunch of excuses that are
considered appropriate reasonsto be unavailable to people.
So you can just kind of borrowone of those, regardless of
whether they are true or not.
So I think the easiest is to sayyou have to work.
And the good news is, for thoseof you who are pathologically
honest, this one's not even alie.
(13:13):
Just don't say what you'reworking on because honestly work
that doesn't yet earn you moneyis still work.
In order to get to a point whereyou are bringing in money from
your creative work, if that'syour goal--and it doesn't have
to be--you need to actually dothe work.
So really you are settingyourself, your future self up
for success and yeah, successcan mean a lot of things I think
(13:36):
in a capitalist society and Ithink that's actually why this
excuse works, right?
Because everyone values work.
Work is important.
Work is something you are fullywithin your rights to spend your
time and energy on.
But I think also theintersection of art and
capitalism is an interestingquestion that I think I'll
probably tackle with a few of myfuture interview guests.
(13:58):
But your creative work hasintrinsic value.
It's not only valuable if it's ameans of earning money.
(14:04):
Okay, so another excuse
You can make something up.
That's one that's really hardfor me.
I spent a long time feeling likeit was never okay to tell a lie.
I have kind of changed my mindabout this, especially because
people who don't respect yourright to allocate your own time,
honestly, they kind of deserveto be lied to.
(14:25):
Sorry.
And then another thing you canjust say, sorry, I'm not free
then.
Kat (14:31):
And actually you can pretty much drop the, sorry; you don't
need to apologize for not beingfree.
So just say I'm not free.
This is an advanced-level excusebecause it takes a lot of
emotional work before you canget to the point where you're
even comfortable saying it outloud and not elaborating.
And then if, if you drop thisone on someone and they ask you
for more information, like,"Oh,what are you doing?" You can
(14:54):
always decide to say that youwould rather not talk about it
and you're fully within yourrights to do so.
And then here's another one.
Set boundaries with yourself.
So the good news is I think thisis a little bit easier than
setting boundaries with otherpeople because it doesn't
involve the feelings of otherswho are maybe used to engaging
(15:15):
with you in a specific way thatmight be shifting slightly as
you prioritize your creativework.
So some ways that you can setboundaries with yourself: Block
out time on your calendar andtreat it as a commitment like
any other.
This sounds very simple, but Ithink it's also very easy to
glance at your calendar, seethat you've blocked out, I don't
know, two hours to paint orwhatever it is, and then feel
(15:38):
like, oh, that's not a realappointment.
Those aren't real plans.
And then, you know, let someoneelse have that slot on your
calendar.
That's a really great way toensure that you never get your
work done.
And it's probably wrapped up insome of that fear and resistance
that we talked about earlier.
(15:57):
Also, set clear goals and milestones, and then attach them
to hard deadlines.
And in doing this, make sureyou're being reasonable about
what you can accomplish so thatyou're not always missing the
mark, which can be discouragingand may prevent you from even
trying to commit to gettingstuff done in the future.
And then, find a supportnetwork.
(16:18):
This can be hard depending onwhere you live, which people
you're surrounded by most of thetime.
But the good news is it can looklike a lot of different things.
I just wanted to talk through afew different ways to find that.
One is, think about who youknow, who is working on
something.
Rewind back to, I don't know,about a year or so ago, and I
(16:41):
thought I didn't have an artistcommunity.
And then I had this idea of, Oh,you know, I'd like to, I'd like
to have a creative circle,because I felt like that was
something that was lacking in mylife.
And so, as I was thinking abouthow to do this and how to find
people, I realized I alreadyknew writers, visual artists,
(17:03):
activists, photographers, zinemakers, filmmakers--all these
people who were kind of hidingin plain sight, maybe because
most of the people I know aredoing something else in their
nine to five jobs.
Kat (17:17):
But chances are high, you know, at least one person with
even just a cool hobby that'smeaningful to them.
Something they do outside ofwork, whether it's fishing or
knitting or really anything.
The key thing is to find someonewho is passionate about
something.
Yes, it would be easier if it'skind of an indoor sport like
writing or photography or someother crafting or some other
(17:40):
kind of creative pursuit wheremaybe you can set up some kind
of accountability together.
That's probably easier.
But you know, at a bare minimum,try to find one person who is
doing something outside of howthey earn money that they're
passionate about.
And this also might mean thatyou have to open up about your
own work.
(18:01):
Let's say you're looking around,you're not finding that person,
maybe dip your toe in andmention to two or three people
some of the things that you'reworking on.
That might be the space thatother people need to feel safe
in revealing their own projectsor side pursuits.
(18:19):
And then, look for things to join in your town or city.
So there's an organizationcalled Creative Mornings.
It is in, I want to say, 200plus cities worldwide.
If you're in a larger city, youmay have access to that.
It's a monthly breakfast eventfor the creative community.
And they also have started doingsome FieldTrips in some major
(18:42):
cities in the U.S.
and Canada.
So those are things you can lookinto as well.
Your library probably offerssome kind of programming that
you don't even know about.
Here in Brooklyn, our libraryoffers things like meditation,
Tai Chi, philosophy talks in thenearby park.
So look into that and see ifthere's something there.
Also bookstores tend to have alot of events.
(19:05):
Obviously in, in a city like NewYork, it's kind of an
embarrassment of riches, thedegree to which we have things
like this, but even in smalltowns or small cities, there are
definitely arts centers andbookstores that will offer
things like this.
So bookstore events, whetherthey're readings or other
things, classes, and thenlooking on Meetup, Eventbrite or
(19:26):
other event sites for thingsthat are happening in your neck
of the woods.
And then if you're not reallyfinding what you look you're
looking for, you can alwaysstart something.
You can start a meetup or postan event on Eventbrite or teach
a class in a subject you're anexpert in.
You could start a craft circle.
There are endless possibilities,but you actually have to sit
(19:46):
down and think about them, andit may take a little bit more
legwork in a smaller city ortown.
Kat (19:54):
And then let's say you've looked around, you've tried to
find the community that you'reseeking and you're not finding
it.
The good news is the Internetexists.
You either can lean on existingsocial media friends, and that
might include people you'veknown in real life throughout
various stages of your lifewho've become social media
friends.
Maybe you don't live in the samecity anymore, but in general,
(20:16):
online friends are awesome.
And in a world where most peopleare meeting their partners
online, we can maybe finally beokay with the fact that it's
cool to make friends online aswell.
Some of my closest in real lifefriends began as online friends.
(20:29):
One great example of a way that I've built creative
community online is myaccountability partner Ivy,
who's a filmmaker based inEurope.
She and I originally met througha Facebook group, became friends
on other social media channels,and when I was looking for an
(20:52):
accountability partner, sheimmediately came to mind as
someone that I would love towork with.
And so she and I have had thispartnership for a little over a
year and a half now.
We've become really good friendsand honestly, if I didn't have
any of the other creativecommunities I've built or the
access to events that I've had,I would definitely feel less
(21:15):
alone as an artist just byvirtue of having Ivy to lean on.
So those are just a few ways toget started.
If you have any questions or ifyou need some additional
motivation, feel free to find meon social media.
I am@katoleary or you can emailme at kat.oleary@gmail.com.
(21:39):
So next week I'm chatting withKimberly Enjoli about the
intersection of art andactivism.
I'm really, really excited aboutthis interview.
I learned so much from myconversation with Kimberly and I
suspect you will learn a lot aswell.
Just in the couple ofconversations that I've had
since I recorded that episode,the response to the things that
(22:01):
she talked about, the feedbackthat I've gotten on the topic,
everyone has been like,"Oh myGod, I wanted to know about that
too." So I'm really excited tobring you that conversation next
week.
In the meantime, you can checkout the show notes at
howtobecreative.org for links tothe things I've discussed during
this episode, and I will catchyou next time.
Outro (22:29):
So that's this week's episode of How to Be Creative.
As always, you can find shownotes, including a complete
episode transcript and links toeverything discussed, at
howtobecreative.org.
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