How To Survive The Classroom

How To Survive The Classroom

As we all know, an educator’s career is one of prestige, respect, and authority. Just kidding. Sure, there are lesson plans and inspirational posters. Book reports and detentions. But nobody tells you it’s also parents brawling in the parking lot, students unleashing live crickets during finals, and getting evaluated for “running a tight ship” while the ceiling literally leaks onto your head. Hosted by Andrea Forcum (aka @Educator Andrea on TikTok, former high school teacher and current professor at Indiana State University), How to Survive the Classroom is part advice column, part survival guide, and part group therapy. Each week, Andrea dons her trauma tiara to tackle call-ins and confessions from fellow educators (and brave educator allies). From hilarious war stories to brutal burnout moments, join us as we strategize, survive, and occasionally let out a good old-fashioned cathartic scream into the void. If you’ve ever Googled “how to professionally quit mid-semester” or seriously considered hiding in a supply closet, this show’s for you. Teaching may be a noble profession… but nobility doesn’t stop your classroom from catching on fire.

Episodes

When All Your Students Misunderstand the Assignment… Guess Who’s the Problem?

December 22, 2025 • 26 mins
PRE-ORDER MY NEW BOOK (OUT MAY 5, 2026)!!! — https://bit.ly/43BquPd This week I’m talking about the grading spiral that made me question my entire career, the wild field-trip confessions my five-year-old brought home, and the absolute unhinged energy that middle schoolers bring into any art room with a blank sheet of paper. And the voice memos? Oh, they’re next-level. One features a crime scene so disgusting I almost logged off...
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This Is the Most Hard-Core Thing I Do Before a Show

December 15, 2025 • 32 mins
In this episode, I’m unpacking how something as innocent as kombucha sent my entire life into chaos… how my own child managed to humiliate me in public with the confidence of a man three times his size… and why I found myself saluting a complete stranger at a gas station like we’d been through battle together. Plus, your stories this week? Unhinged. We’re talking ski masks, mystery backpacks, “not again” from a school counselor (w...
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Please Put Your Shirt Back On

December 8, 2025 • 26 mins
In this episode, I’m talking about everything from a wildly out-of-place operatic performance at my dinner table… to a voice memo that had me reconsidering every teacher’s unspoken job description… to the moment I accidentally confessed to a German felony because I couldn't understand what anyone was saying. And yes, there’s a story in here about nipples. And lotion. And regret. Plus, I’m finally sharing the unexpected resource t...
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How Did a Safety Talk Turn Into a Crime Plot?

December 1, 2025 • 29 mins
This week, I owe Texas an apology. Between discovering that Tex-Mex might be the best food on Earth and listening to a kindergarten voicemail about baby mama drama, I had no idea where this episode would go. But then my kids started planning how to get rid of a body, a student declared his future as a midwife, and somehow we still managed to end with a heartwarming story about my sister’s new baby and a resource to help your stude...
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BONUS EPISODE: A Thanksgiving Special: Gratitude and Turkey Butts with Denver Riley

November 27, 2025 • 66 mins
A re-release from last years thanksgiving episode! In this special Thanksgiving episode I sit down with Denver Riley to dive into a blend of holiday trivia, teacher humor, and unexpected insights. As we tackle Thanksgiving history questions (with some questionable accuracy), Denver and I find ourselves navigating through fun facts, turkey anatomy, and relatable teaching stories. We also discuss Denver’s “Jersey Shore” spirit day...
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The Day “Keep Your Hands to Yourself” Took on a New Meaning

November 24, 2025 • 28 mins
This week’s episode had me clutching my pearls and questioning everything I thought I knew about middle schoolers. We got a voicemail about a student caught doing something unthinkable during class and somehow, it gets worse. Teachers, you are not paid enough for this level of trauma. Then, I share the foreword from my upcoming book They Never Taught Us That, talk about what inspired it, and reveal a resource that actually helps ...
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Smart People Can Be Terrible Teachers

November 17, 2025 • 32 mins
This week I learned that parenting might actually be harder than teaching. It started with my five-year-old asking questions about his “balls,” escalated into my husband giving a full anatomy lesson, and ended with me praying his kindergarten teacher doesn’t get a surprise lecture about semen. Then we hear from a teacher whose classroom window literally exploded mid-class (because of a rogue lawnmower rock, obviously), and I share...
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What Happens When Algebra Meets Abandonment Issues?

November 10, 2025 • 34 mins
This week’s voicemails took me on a ride I did not see coming. First up: a sub walks into a high school on eighties day and witnesses a kid try to smash his phone with weights and somehow sets off the fire alarm in the process. Then another teacher shares a story that starts like a simple math problem and ends in the darkest dad joke ever written on a whiteboard. Somewhere between bathroom popcorn hustles, entrepreneurial students...
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Teachers Deserve Hazard Pay For Moments Like These

November 3, 2025 • 31 mins
This week’s voicemails reminded me why teachers deserve Oscars for keeping it together. One teacher shares the horror of being publicly asked if she’s pregnant and another walks us through a “balloon” disaster that turned out to be something… very not balloon-like. Plus, I unpack the best advice I ever got from an administrator about what to do when kids say something so wild you have to literally turn and face the wall. Takeaway...
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Why Is This Man Eating Placenta Soup?!

October 27, 2025 • 36 mins
This week started with a gut punch, my course evaluations. Let’s just say a few of my college students think I should “go back to teaching middle school.” Ouch. But you know what? They might have a point. Somewhere between grading, crying, and doom-scrolling, I stumbled into a TikTok hole about a guy making something called “perpetual stew.” (Spoiler: it involves placenta. You’re welcome.) Then I found joy again through the weirdes...
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Bless Your Heart… But You’re Wrong

October 20, 2025 • 33 mins
You ever have one of those weeks where your kid says something so wild you can’t even respond right away? Yeah… mine started with a confession about sniffing a friend’s butt. I also found myself on tour with two grown men who can’t remember their rental car company, and then I saw a viral video of a mom furious at her kid’s teacher… because he didn’t drink his water bottle. This week, I’m unpacking all of it . The parenting chaos,...
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Is “6-7” the New “Deez Nuts”?

October 13, 2025 • 30 mins
This week I found myself wandering through a 90s fever dream, yes, there was an actual Tamagotchi pop-up shop, before heading to Chicago for a sold-out show that brought out old students, old stories, and one deeply unimpressed middle schooler. Then, things got even more chaotic when teacher voicemails rolled in: one about 8th graders who can’t stop saying “six-seven” (and now in Spanish), and another about a slime experiment gone ...
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Why I Will Never Love a Parade

October 6, 2025 • 32 mins
I thought the mic stand was going to be my biggest battle this week… but between parades I didn’t understand, parents at my kids’ school, and voicemails that took turns I could have never prepared for, this episode had me reeling. From a teacher who declared he had his “asshole pants” on, to a locker room surprise that may or may not have been cocaine, to a student loudly announcing she was climaxing in driver’s ed, let’s just say,...
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Gollum Matters More To Me Than Taylor Swift!

September 29, 2025 • 33 mins
This week I learned that nothing divides the internet faster than Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s engagement and yes, I have thoughts. Spoiler: I’m baffled, not bitter. From my squirrel-and-nut analogies to realizing Lord of the Rings news impacts me way more than celebrity weddings, this episode is a rollercoaster of pop culture side-eye, mom-life struggles, and teacher realities. You’ll also hear listener voicemails that had me l...
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Did a Kid Really Need Stitches From a Stall Hook?

September 22, 2025 • 33 mins
This week had me cackling, cringing, and covering my face. First up, Indiana State roasted me in the most unexpected way, and then a listener voicemail hit my inbox about a confiscated classroom “toy” that looked suspiciously like something straight out of an adult store. Add in another voicemail about a kid who ended up in the ER after a bathroom stunt went horribly wrong (yes, it’s as painful as it sounds), and I spiral into a ra...
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What Do You Even Say After A Student Goes Up in Flames?

September 15, 2025 • 30 mins
This episode has everything: a very confusing proposition for Gasper in Arizona, students showing up to class with “water bottles” that definitely weren’t water, and a kid who decided standardized testing needed more… fire. Literally. I also get into the messy overlap between teacher contracts and legal weed, why standardized tests might be measuring culture more than knowledge, and the one hill I’ll absolutely die on when it comes...
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When “Creative Expression” Ends in Flames

September 8, 2025 • 40 mins
This week I found myself caught between two very different kinds of chaos: one involving an art teacher with a flair for fire, and another that sent me spiraling back to the glory days of Limewire downloads gone wrong. I’ll just say this, what started as innocent creativity and curious music hunting turned into disasters no one saw coming. And yes, you’ll probably feel just as nervous as I did listening back. Takeaways: That one...
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What Do You Do When a Student Mentions a Murder?

September 1, 2025 • 36 mins
Teacher besties, this one whiplashed me from what did that sub just say? to why am I holding the phone with a detective? We start with a voicemail about a beloved substitute whose first day with third graders went… let’s call it catastrophically “old-war-story meets wrong audience.” The recovery arc? Shockingly sweet—but the initial moment had my soul leave my body. Then a second story drops: a teacher realizes a student’s casua...
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Who Is Mr. Wilson… and Why Did We Almost Call CPS?

August 25, 2025 • 33 mins
I thought I’d heard it all when it comes to the chaos that happens in schools… and then this episode happened. From bizarre moments that made me question my own sanity to a story that had me laughing so hard I had to stop recording—this one is a ride. Let’s just say it involves a teacher, an unexpected interruption, and one of the most jaw-dropping moments we’ve ever had on the show. You won’t see this one coming. Takeaways: The...
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Could You Tell If Your Students Were High?

August 18, 2025 • 47 mins
This week’s episode has everything: brownies gone wrong, mice turning into classroom pets, and yes… the day I realized my car had become a rat maternity ward. (Don’t eat during that part, teacher besties.) We kick things off with a student cruise that takes a very unexpected turn when a principal tries to “prove a point” with confiscated brownies. Spoiler: it backfired spectacularly. Then, a mouse runs straight into class and one ...
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