How To Survive with Danielle & Kristine
A comedy survival podcast about the disasters you fear, the chaos you don’t expect, and the daily hassles that make you wish you were dead. Hosts Danielle Koenig and Kristine Kimmel break down everything from natural disasters to unnatural medical scares to wild animals you don’t want to encounter- plus guest stories you truly won’t believe. If it can endanger your life—or simply ruin your day—they’ll tell you how to survive it, with plenty of laughs along the way. Featuring guests like Rainn Wilson, Jon Hamm, Tig Notaro, Patton Oswalt, Oscar Nunez, Lauren Ash, Paul F. Tompkins & Andy Richter.
Episodes
This week on How to Survive, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive losing your ability to speak — laryngitis, vocal strain, and the singer's worst nightmare… growths. Then, Gary Mann joins to share his experience navigating Standards & Practices during his time on The Sarah Silverman Program, when a performer's voice was challenged in a very different way.
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On this week’s How to Survive, Matt Belknap steps in to produce a very rollicking holiday episode with Danielle and Kristine. They cover insane dogs, the legendary Pardo–Koenig holiday fête, and Danielle receives a gift that truly keeps on giving… migraines.
From there, the conversation turns to how to survive that familiar feeling of being behind in life — when it seems like everyone else has their act together and you’re ...
This week on How to Survive, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive white water rafting — bone chilling rapids, unexpected boulders, and most importantly the difference between a wetsuit and a drysuit. Then, Drea Clark joins to share her unforgettable tale near the St. Croix River, where her fun summer job as a young camp counselor suddenly became way more adult than she was expecting.
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This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive exposure to sulfuric acid — trust us, you don't want to mess around with this chemical. Then Jeremy Bent joins to share the unfortunate way he discovered he’s allergic to sulfa-based antibiotics.
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This week, Danielle and Kristine jump on Zoom to riff on the “joys” of Thanksgiving, holiday stress, family chaos, and unmet family expectations. With a little help from mental health master Brené Brown (in spirit!), they break down how to stay mindful — or at least avoid completely losing it — in the weeks ahead.
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This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a bad psychedelic trip — visions, paranoia, melting faces, and all. Then, Ilana Cohn-Sullivan joins to share her unforgettable ayahuasca experience, complete with continuous vomiting, cheetah cosplay, and the moment things tipped from “transformational” to “terrifying.”
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This week Danielle, Kristine, and Garon gather via zoom to catch up on the past couple of weeks in our lives.
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This week on How to Survive, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive traveling to space — zero gravity, cosmic rays, and all! Writer/Professional Dancer Dennis Hensley joins the fun to share his hilarious story about auditioning to be a backup dancer for Madonna.
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This week, How to Survive tackles identity theft and didgeridoo drama! Comedian Murray Valeriano returns with a hilarious tale of trying to reclaim his cousin’s missing didgeridoos from a Hollywood Hills art dealer.
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This week, on How to Survive, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive urban legends — from Cropsey to Candyman — and comedian Kevin Avery joins to share his own real-life medical scare involving a benign tumor. It’s a mix of monsters, medicine, and mayhem — only on How to Survive!
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This week on How to Survive, Danielle and Kristine tackle Burning Mouth Syndrome (yep, it’s real!) and welcome comedian Dan Cronin, who survived his own burning experience in New York City- one that nearly took out his apartment. Get more chaos and laughter on Patreon!
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Salmonella strikes again! On this week's episode of How to Survive, returning guest Mike Henry shares his unforgettable encounter with the bacteria.
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This week on How to Survive, Danielle and Kristine tackle runaway grooms (and brides!) and get the inside scoop on international “I dos” with Las Tres Sisters Marta Mendez-Cross, who shares her wild wedding adventures in Costa Rica.
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This week, on How to Survive, Danielle & Kristine undress the topic of the strip search. We’re talking strip searches, survival tips, and the fine line between law enforcement and a lawsuit. Kathy Egan-Taylor of Bad Elizabeth shares her unforgettable experience with the UK Border Patrol.
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This week on How to Survive with Danielle & Kristine, we face the spotlight: performance anxiety (something many comedians struggle with) and the fascinating world of cruise ship comedy 🚢. Actor and comedian Chris Witaske (The Bear, Chicago Party Aunt) joins us to share hilarious survival stories, from performing for an audience trapped at sea to being a magician's assistant. Plus, he shares a harrowing and mysterious...
This week on How to Survive with Danielle & Kristine, we dive into two wild adventures: the beautiful (but venomous) Blue Dragon sea slugs 🐉🌊 and the thrill of skydiving! Writer Nikki Nash joins us to share hilarious stories from her book Collateral Stardust and what it really takes to survive falling from the sky.
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This week on 'How to Survive with Danielle & Kristine,' we tackle two wild challenges: how to survive under martial law (unthinkable, but we promise to make you laugh) and what happens when you step onto the mat for Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Comedian Cristina Fernandez joins us with laugh-out-loud stories, survival “tips,” and a few chokeholds along the way.
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This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive bears… again… but in a whole new way. Author Emily Barth-Isler joins to share a wild bear tale of her own!
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🎧 New episodes every week!
📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits + survival tips.
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This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive your child’s first day of pre-school — the nerves, the tears, and sometimes the kids cry too. Then Oliver Pardo joins to share his hilarious and chaotic experiences at his very first job.
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This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive calling 9-1-1, thanks to a listener who taught us that panic and emergency calls do not mix. Then Will Becton joins to share a frightening camp incident he and his friends barely made it through.
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🎧 New episodes every week!
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