How To!

How To!

You’ve got questions. Together, we get answers. We all need advice, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to turn. Each week, Courtney Martin and Carvell Wallace bring a listener on to the show to solve their toughest problems with the help of world-class experts. It’s free therapy, and you’re invited.

Episodes

How To Live With Chronic Pain

June 10, 2025 • 34 mins
Mavi was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis more than 15 years ago. Since then, she’s managed her symptoms and myriad life changes—but the past several months have been dominated by intense, chronic pain. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Toni Bernhard, author of How to Be Sick and How to Live Well With Chronic Pain and Illness, to talk with Mavi about making peace with this new normal. If you liked this episode...
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How To Repair Your Stuff

May 27, 2025 • 36 mins
Think of all the broken stuff you’re storing in your home. A blender that won’t blend? A bike without brakes? A buttonless blouse? Resist the urge to buy new stuff—and listen to this How To! episode instead! Courtney Martin brings together Phoebe Schenker, executive director of Reuse Alliance and founder of The Mending Library, and Sue-Jean, a reuse enthusiast, to talk about breathing new life into old items.  Links Mentioned:  R...
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How To Discover Your Kink

May 20, 2025 • 45 mins
Lily wants to have satisfying sex that plays to her core desires, but lately it’s been hard to describe to potential partners exactly what she wants. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Dr. Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman—sexologists, authors, and the founders of the Somatica Institute. They coach Lily (and all of us) on how to define the individual experiences we’re seeking—and communicate them to others. I...
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How To Get a Great Haircut

May 13, 2025 • 42 mins
Are you stuck in a hair rut? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Alana Lucia Balestrino, hairstylist, barber, and founder of the Brooklyn-based studio Baddies. Alana explains how to work with a stylist or barber to get a haircut you love.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Dress with Confidence. Also: Decoder Ring’s Mystery of the Mullet.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at how...
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How To Parent With a Disability

May 6, 2025 • 50 mins
At least 10 percent of parents in the U.S. are disabled, but Andrea can’t seem to find parenting advice on disability and accessibility. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Jessica Slice, author of the new book Unfit Parent: A Disabled Mother Challenges an Inaccessible World, to help Andrea reimagine parenthood.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Date With a Disability and How To Become a Parent Overnig...
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Living at Odds | 4. A Quiet Fight for LGBTQ Rights

April 29, 2025 • 57 mins
Our series Living at Odds concludes with a special episode of Slate’s Death, Sex & Money. Host Anna Sale returns to her native West Virginia to talk with the state’s only full-time lobbyist for LGBTQ rights. Andrew Schneider of Fairness West Virginia has spent years cultivating working relationships with conservative allies in state and local government. Aided by those relationships, Andrew helped pass 20 local anti-discrimination ...
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Living at Odds | 3. Making Amends for Ancestors

April 22, 2025 • 44 mins
In the third installment of our series Living at Odds, How To!’s Courtney Martin examines what it’s like being in conflict with your family history. She talks with ancestors of the famous names in Plessy v. Ferguson, the Supreme Court decision that affirmed racial segregation in the U.S. as “separate but equal.” Later, researcher Kellie Farrish explains how reparative genealogy can unlock family history that’s been lost or erased—a...
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Living at Odds | 2. An Education in Opposition

April 15, 2025 • 45 mins
In the second installment of our series Living at Odds, former How To! host Amanda Ripley returns to talk with two public school officials in Tulsa, Oklahoma, who found themselves at loggerheads upon their very first meeting. Deborah and Stacey’s difficult working relationship continued until COVID-19 sparked some solidarity—and the two began to learn more about each other. Later, Stacey would find herself defending the colleague s...
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Living at Odds | 1. Two Partisans, One Corner

April 8, 2025 • 46 mins
Living at Odds is a new How To! series about what’s holding us together when so much threatens to break us apart. In our first episode, host Courtney Martin talks with two street vendors who operated rivaling merch tents at the same busy intersection during the 2024 election. Steve hawked MAGA caps and Trump-branded pool floaties just a few feet away from Sandra, who sweetened her sales of Harris-Walz campaign shirts with free “Kam...
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How To Replace Your Tesla

April 1, 2025 • 42 mins
Tesla owners are dumping their vehicles in protest of CEO Elon Musk—and driving down resale prices. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin talks with two soon-to-be-former owners—and with Patrick George, editor-in-chief of InsideEVs and co-host of the Plugged-In podcast. Patrick helps them figure out how to sell their Model Ys and find a ride that aligns with their practical and ideological needs.  If you liked this episode c...
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How To Write Your Memoir

March 25, 2025 • 48 mins
To some, the act of writing a memoir might seem daunting, invasive, or navel-gazing. But excavating memories, noticing patterns, and revisiting events from other points of view can lead to healing—regardless of whether your work gets published. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Melissa Febos. Melissa is the bestselling author of five books, including Girlhood—winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award in C...
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How To Discover Music You’ll Love

March 18, 2025 • 50 mins
Music streaming services like Spotify offer huge libraries of songs and albums—with recommendation engines that can feel unadventurous and repetitive. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace welcomes online tastemaker and podcast host Derrick Gee to discuss the shortcomings of music streaming algorithms. And, they sit down with R.J. and Brie—two music fans from different generations—to offer up tips for finding hidden gems and ...
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Supercommunicators | 3. How to Have the Hardest Conversations

March 12, 2025 • 30 mins
The final installment of our series explores the conversations that most of us dread, like frank discussions of our differences or a negative performance review at work. We often anticipate that these chats will go badly—and end in hurt feelings or embarrassment—but there are proven ways to make them easier to navigate. Host Charles Duhigg talks with psychologist Jay Van Bavel about strategies for having the hardest conversations....
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How To Lose Your ‘Virginity’ at 43

March 11, 2025 • 48 mins
For most of her life, Elizabeth was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which forbids having sex outside of marriage. But she recently left the Mormon faith, and now she’s ready to have sex for the first time—at age 43. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Nicole Hardy, author of Confessions of a Latter-Day Virgin to offer Elizabeth advice that’s relevant to anyone who’s ready to tap into t...
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How To Interview Someone

March 4, 2025 • 52 mins
Interviews are a time-honored way to elicit intimate insights from public figures and people in power. But at a moment when so much history is being denied or even deleted, interviewing family members and elders can be an important way to document their lives—and understand more about ourselves. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Sam Fragoso, host of the podcast Talk Easy. Sam explains what he’s learned from hund...
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Supercommunicators | 2. How to Communicate Without Words

March 1, 2025 • 28 mins
Why is it that we can tell someone “I’m totally fine!” and they instantly know we’re not? Gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and other subtle nonverbal cues play a huge role in how we connect with one another.  In this episode, host Charles Duhigg explores how we communicate without words, including a deep dive into the visual and tonal cues embedded in one of the biggest sitcoms of all time, The Big Bang Theory.  He ta...
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How To Protect Your Parents From Fraud

February 25, 2025 • 45 mins
May’s father nearly lost $4,000 to an online scam. How can she protect him from future fraud? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Kathy Stokes, director of fraud prevention programs at AARP. She also runs their Fraud Watch Network. Kathy helps May rethink how she’s talking to her parents about cyber scams—and she explains steps that everyone can take to avoid becoming a crime victim. If you or someone you know ha...
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Supercommunicators | 1. How to Talk to Anyone

February 22, 2025 • 32 mins
Why are some people able to talk with just about anyone—about almost anything? One answer may lie in the questions we ask—and how deeply we ask them. Stick with us here… In this episode, host Charles Duhigg examines why deep questions are so powerful and how to ask them in everyday life. He talks to Nick Epley, psychology professor at the University of Chicago and lifelong researcher of deep questions. And we catch up with Mandy ...
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Introducing Supercommunicators

February 22, 2025 • 1 min
In a new miniseries inspired by Charles Duhigg’s bestseller, the former host of Slate’s How To! podcast sits down with psychologists, social scientists, and even a Hollywood writer to explore how to ask the right questions, communicate without words, and find meaningful connections in our lives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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How To Outsmart Your Student Loans

February 18, 2025 • 51 mins
At nearly 40, Valerie is itching to pay off her student loans and finally become debt-free. But… how? On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Yanely Espinal, financial educator, author of Mind Your Money, and host of the Marketplace podcast Financially Inclined. Yanely breaks down the best ways to pay off your education debt without putting the rest of your life on hiatus.  If you liked this episode check out: How To ...
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