September 19, 2024 • 24 mins
In this episode we explore the emotional and mental health aspects of the cancer journey and hear the remarkable stories of Trish Tyler and Matthew Michaloski, whose experiences with cancer were profoundly impacted by Crossroads4Hope, a community organization. Listen as we explore the emotional toll of a cancer diagnosis and treatment, and the transformative power of community support that made all the difference in their paths to recovery.
Through heartfelt conversations and personal anecdotes, we discuss the critical importance of mental health care, empathetic healthcare providers, and maintaining a positive outlook. Hear from Amy Sutton, CEO of Crossroads4Hope, on how the organization offers a sanctuary for those seeking solace and strength during one of life's most daunting journeys.
Hosts: Bob Gold, Behavioral Technologist and Shelley Schoenfeld, Chief Strategist, GoMo Health
Featured Guests:
- Amy Sutton, CEO, Crossroads4Hope
- Trish Tyler, Cancer Survivor and Crossroads4Hope participant
- Matthew Michaloski, Cancer Survivor and Crossroads4Hope participant
Stay tuned for Part 2 of this episode that dives deeper into Crossroads4Hope!
Thanks for tuning in. Subscribe today to receive alerts of new weekly episodes and follow @GoMoHealth on social for the latest in healthcare engagement.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
We exist to make sure that nobody faces cancer alone,
and we do that because weunderstand that patients and
families need support to dealwith a life-threatening health
crisis and that it's really notaccessible in healthcare today.
So we're here to fill that voidand bridge that gap, and that
is life-changing for people.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
There are times in the world and in life when a
discovery changes how we dothings.
Hi, I'm Shelley Schoenfeld.
Join me and my podcast partner,behavioral technologist Bob
Gold, on this journey ofdiscovery as we unfold a whole
person health delivery sciencefor people in need.
Welcome to Human ResilienceChanging the Way Healthcare is
Delivered.
(00:52):
We just heard from Amy Sutton,CEO of Crossroads for Hope, a
New Jersey-based network ofcancer support, In this part,
one of two episodes about thisamazing organization and its
dedicated practitioners, we'regoing to meet two current
beneficiaries and hear from themabout their experiences.
Trish Tyler and MattMichalowski explained to us the
(01:15):
initial shock of a cancerdiagnosis, the overwhelming
feelings patients have from thatday forward, and then the value
that Crossroads for Hopebrought to them with every step
following that news in theircancer journeys.
Bob sat down with both Trishand Matt recently.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Hey, my name is Trish Tyler.
I am a preschool teacher and Iam an improv comedian.
I also do some standup andwriting and I was born in New
York, raised in New Jersey, Ileft for a little while to go to
Chicago and I came back to NewJersey.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
Fascinating.
Could you do a little routinenow?
What's like a good line you doin this stand up, come on.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Well, I mean, if you want to get super dark, when I
found out that I had cancer, Icalled Rutgers Medical and I was
like you guys have to save meand they go.
Why I'm like?
Because I still owe you $36,000in student loans.
So they did save me.
(02:30):
So now I owe $36,000 in studentloans and $52,000 in medical
bills, got it.
Straight out of my act, guys.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
All right, Love it and Matt what about yourself.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
My name is Matthew Michalowski and born and raised
in New Jersey.
My name is Matthew Michaloskiand born and raised in New
Jersey.
I've left 25 times, includingSpain and Colorado and all these
strange places, and havemanaged to return to New Jersey
and come from a big family.
I got four sisters, twobrothers.
My dad has passed.
My mom is still around.
(03:01):
She turns 89 in a couple ofweeks.
I turned 59 today.
She's a godsend.
You look great.
You look like 40.
You sound like my sister-in-lawwho said, matt, you've put on
10 pounds since you've gottencancer.
You should get cancer morefrequently.
And so there's that twistedside of humor.
(03:21):
Got to keep a positive attitude.
The glass is half full, becauseit's real easy to find a half
empty glass.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Okay, so let's kind of get into the circumstances.
Trish, just tell us a littlebit about your journey.
When were you diagnosed andwhat was that, when was that and
what type of cancer, if you'reokay talking about that, and
let's start with that, and then,ultimately, how you got to
(03:48):
Crossroads for Hope.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Absolutely.
I was diagnosed in November of2021.
It was a stage one breastcancer, but I wound up at
Rutgers Medical and they haddirected me to Crossroads.
Well, I am two and a half yearspositive, free, all good.
(04:14):
So October 17th is my birthday,but it's also my next mammogram
, because I like to be miserableon my birthday, and if that all
goes well, it'll be three years.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
That's awesome.
Good for you.
So who at Rutgers Medicalintroduced you to Crossroads for
Hope?
Was it a social worker, or anurse, or a doctor?
It was a nurse.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
My particular surgeon has the most amazing nurse on
the face of the earth and shedeals with like all of my head
case things.
I mean and I know I'm a headcase like even for like
non-cancer things my kidsstarting a new school and like
orientation, like I'm so sorrymy family was falling apart
(04:59):
because that's another podcastaltogether about families
responding to cancer and so Ididn't have anybody to be like
you're going to be okay.
So they directed me toCrossroads.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Gotcha.
I'm going to come back to thatin a minute, I want to just
switch over to Matt.
So, matt, what about when wereyou diagnosed?
And I think you said it wascancer in your shoulder.
Speaker 5 (05:26):
Mine is.
My story is a little bitdifferent.
Mine was me ignoring myself andallowing what would have been a
15-minute dermatologyappointment turning into
ignoring basal cell carcinomafor a long time.
So mine was just progressivelygetting worse and part of that
(05:47):
reason was loneliness, nothaving a place to vent and talk
about it.
I come from a big family.
My mom was going throughdementia, my brother was going
through hip replacements, mysister was going through her
things and today's world is verybusy and people don't have time
to stop and listen to otherpeople's problems.
(06:07):
And the more I tried to reachout to certain people and places
and friends, the less support Iwas finding to really drop a
bomb on someone saying hey, Ineed help.
And so I started reaching outto oh, the Catholic church
charities and they were likewe'll get back to you and six
(06:27):
weeks would pass and I'd keepcalling and I'd be like you know
what?
I really need help, I needdirection, I need someone to
kick me in the butt and move mealong.
And then I finally had one daywhere my world kind of collapsed
and it was time to break freeand just bite the bullet and
spoke to my brother who flew inover the weekend and was an
(06:49):
angel, came down and took careof a lot of business for me and
found Crossroads for Hope.
Been through the chemo, I'vebeen through the radiation, I've
been through recovery andevidently everything is all gone
.
My oncologist is very pleased.
I've been a carpenter slashcraftsman my whole entire life
(07:10):
and now using a drill isevidently too much for me right
now.
So it's a very trying time forme.
I almost have to reevaluate mywhole life and try and get back
into the work world.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
You know what's interesting is some by science
is a science of human motivation, activation, resiliency.
It involves cognition, how thebrain works, and then what are
the resulting behaviors?
Right Outlook is like the mostimportant thing if you're
willing to listen, learn, change.
Not your cancer diagnosis, notyour health, not your mental
(07:48):
state, but what's your outlook.
There are certain techniquesthat Crossroads for Hope and
others can help you with and howto almost rethink your outlook.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
You know how the glass is half full versus half
empty it was an immediatetransformation when my brother
came to town and I saw my firstdoctor and got sent to an
oncologist and I was at DEFCON 5and was waiting for you've got
three months, six months and shecame in and took a look at
(08:19):
things and she said you're a twoout of 10 in the cancer scale
and the weight of the world justreleased from my shoulders.
And that was a huge, pivotalday.
And that is when my entireattitude kind of went to.
All I got is today and thismorning I didn't even think
there was tomorrow and not thatI was doom and gloom, but I was
(08:43):
just very in my own little worldand by her just telling me that
I would be okay and I'm goingto see a lot of, her removed the
weight of the world.
My original outreaching toCrossroads was my brother had
gotten me the pamphlet.
It immediately went to thedashboard of my car.
(09:04):
I began seeing the oncologist.
I was getting ready for mychemo and I looked down at it
one day and I said there's areason I haven't thrown that
away.
And so I made the calls and Ilived down the street from the
hospital where every firstTuesday of each month are the
(09:25):
meetings and I showed up for ameeting and introduced myself
and told my story and listenedto everyone else's story and in
a way, I'm blessed and gratefulthat my cancer is not as you
know.
They're all bad, they are allbad and mine is not the worst
(09:49):
that is out there.
So I showed up and when Irealized, like, how blessed I
was, I began to feel more of asupport to the others that are
either beginning this journey orin the middle of it, and love
Crossroads, for that ability tobe able to just have a place to
(10:09):
talk and have a place to shedtears.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Give me an example of a couple conversations.
Maybe that helped youcathartically.
You know, get stuff off yourmind, whether you ended up
crying or being angry orwhatever they were.
That was helpful.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Well, you know my anger is pointed at myself, so
it wasn't so much about anyoneelse and having the support
within Crossroads to be likelook, we're human, we all make
mistakes and you know you madeone and it's done and it's
passed.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Well, in the beginning it was a lot of just
appointments talking to kylebecause of the fact that I
didn't have anyone to talk to,but kyle was amazing and, um, he
was also helping me through alot of like.
My employer didn't quiteunderstand what this meant.
They set up, uh, my son to talkto somebody, which was great.
(11:07):
You know what I mean, becausehe had a lot to unpack as well.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
So your son had a session or so with Crossroads?
Yes, when he got off thatexperience, call whatever.
Discussion like what did he sayto you?
Discussion Like what?
What did he say to you?
Speaker 3 (11:22):
He was asking me a lot of like science questions.
He was coming at it from a veryanalytical point of view.
I don't think in one secondlike I might've thought I was
going to die, he didn't think Iwas going to die, do you know?
What.
I mean so he was like so thishappened, so now, what are they
(11:42):
going to do?
They're going to cut it out.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
I gotcha Folks going through complex situations, in
this case, cancer.
Clearly a huge issue is whatgoes on in your head and all the
fear, anxiety, emotions, stress, and a lot of times the medical
world doesn't address that perse.
That's why something likeCrossroads for Hope exists,
(12:06):
thank God.
So talk a little bit about therelationship between your state
of mind and your ability tofunction running a family,
having cancer, dealing withloneliness or your outlook, or
whatever each of you have gonethrough.
And what would you recommend ifyou were talking to an oncology
(12:29):
practice as to why they shouldbetter address people's brain
health?
Speaker 5 (12:33):
So Matt, you want to take that.
The discussion we had wasultimately that day you get your
diagnosis of cancer and how youstart to freak out.
And there are horrible cancers,that the clock is ticking and
your time is up and there areother that are treatable and a
(12:54):
lot of people survive and therealmost needs to be a not a food
pyramid but a cancer pyramid oflike where do I fall in this
realm?
Is this like uncurable andyou're going to, I'm going to be
tortured for the next sixmonths and die?
Or is this treatable and can Imove on?
So we had oncology come in.
(13:15):
We've had a couple of doctorscome in and basically discuss
bedside manner.
They start throwing terms atyou that you have no idea, all
these Latin terms, and all of asudden you have to become an
expert in terminology.
And it's also overwhelming andthat's what I loved about the
Crossroads program is that eachweek or each session was very
(13:40):
different.
My oncologist calmed me down infour minutes flat and I can
imagine the other type ofdoctors that have no bedside
manner or don't realize it, butare very analytical and very
much not really understand thatwe're freaking out, that you
just threw the cancer word at usat us.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
I felt like my surgeon and her staff were
really good at addressing the.
This is not a death sentenceand you know I perfectly expect
to never be operating on youagain.
But I think where I hadproblems was the regular like
going to the oncologist forthose checkups for my tamoxifen.
I'm waiting there hours in aroom by myself and there is no
(14:34):
checking in on your head space,kind of idea like that because
she is unfortunately overworkedand has too many patients and
all of this is going on.
And then it's like how do youprioritize the patients?
I don't know about you and I'vedefinitely had this
conversation with Kyle and I'vehad this conversation with other
comedian friends of mine whohave had cancer Like when you do
(14:57):
have a stage one, you almostfeel like you have imposter
syndrome.
You almost feel like you haveimposter syndrome.
Going back to what what mattsaid, they're all bad, but
sometimes you feel like, well,was my bad enough, because I'm
not getting the time that maybeI should get.
Do you know what I mean?
(15:18):
and am I being greedy for askingfor it you know if I can
interject?
Speaker 5 (15:23):
you know my boss is like okay, you're done with
chemo and radiation, when areyou coming back to work?
And I'm like, dude, I'mrecovering, my butt is still
kicked, my radiation is done,and like I need time to heal and
like I thought it was all doneand it's like no, this is a
journey.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
I didn't feel better from my radiation until six
months after my last.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Exactly that's where I'm at.
You're talking first worldproblems here.
You were in a much difficultposition a year ago and once
again Crossroads has helped that, and even the people at
Crossroads in our meetings arelike man, you should have seen
you the first two times you camein.
We thought you would never comeback.
(16:07):
We didn't think you would openup.
We didn't.
And now you're.
You're a whole new person, andso my attitude has changed
tremendously my compassion, myoutlook, my reach to other
people.
When people want to talk, Ifind myself listening more, less
talking, more listening andreally trying to let them
(16:29):
vocalize what they may or maynot be able to get out into the
rest of the world.
And you never know, by justlistening to someone, how
beneficial that is to them.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
Good and Trish.
What about your outlook?
Or maybe do you have anaspirational personal goal now,
or you're through this, orwhat's your story?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
That's a good question, because there are some
days that I still feel likethere is no tomorrow.
You know that there's justtoday and I don't necessarily
love feeling that way, but it'ssomething I'm still working
through.
But I mean, I have a familythat supports me and is like my
(17:11):
husband's like do whatever youneed to do to keep doing comedy.
Do comedy about this, becausethere are other people in that
audience who want to hear this.
You know, I think now, before Ihad cancer, it was sort of like
oh, this is something that I'lldo another time, I'll put it on
the shelf and I'll do itanother time.
Now I'm like no, we're going todo it now.
(17:34):
A good example is I'm taking myson to California tomorrow.
A good example is I'm taking myson to California tomorrow.
Okay, we're going to go toDisneyland because he wants to
see Deadpool and we're going togo.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Very grateful for A my brother picking up the
brochure and finding Crossroadsfor Hope.
I don't know how heaccomplished what he
accomplished in four days, allof which was so overwhelming to
me at that time.
He came in like a tornado andjust got me hooked up.
It helped me so much I feellike how can I not want to
(18:11):
contribute to this?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Couldn't be more thankful for Nurse Simona, you
know, hooking me up withCrossroads Kyle, who just talked
me off the ledge more timesthan I care to admit to my God.
And then I guess, like ifthere's anything to take out of
this is don't put anything onthe shelf.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Just do it.
Once you get pulled into thesystem, it's a language that
most people don't evenunderstand.
It's complicated, it'soverwhelming.
It's both emotionally,intellectually and financially
overwhelming.
Everybody it doesn't matter whoyou are, your income level.
(18:55):
People need to have theirdignity and it's hard to say I
need help.
And people may not answer theirdistress screening honestly
because they're trying to getout of there.
They just want to get out ofthe healthcare.
You know they want to go home.
They've been in treatment orwhatever.
But what we find is when peopleare at home at night, when
(19:15):
we're asking them how they'redoing, they're honest and
whether they complete the fullsurvey or not, they need to say
to somebody I'm struggling.
And it's an outlet and it helpsthem emotionally to understand
that they're tethered tosomething, no matter how they're
feeling, and if they reallyneed us, we're right there.
(19:36):
Think about healthcaretransformation.
We often think about it interms of just treatment.
We're saying we can achievetransformation in the most
important aspect of care, whichis the person, how they're
feeling and how they'reexperiencing this journey, and
in the end, when we invest inthat, we will have better health
(19:58):
outcomes.
And, in the end, when we investin that, we will have better
health outcomes.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Bob, such great insight from Crossroads for Hope
CEO Amy Sutton to close outthis episode.
We've really learned so muchand a strong take home is that
just as important as earlydetection is for cancer survival
, so is getting early help fromprofessionals for patients and
their loved ones.
Crossroads for Hope is anonprofit and all of their
(20:25):
services are free, and that'sjust amazing.
They truly fill the gapsbetween the clinical and the
community and the familynetworks that are crucial for
maintaining positivitythroughout the whole cancer
journey.
And, let's face it, cancer andremission is still a threat.
Trish was very specific intalking about how Kyle Jackham,
the social work manager atCrossroads for Hope, played such
(20:48):
a key role in helping her.
Can you help us to understand alittle bit more how GOMO Health
worked with Crossroads for Hopeto build the my Go-To Support
Digital Therapeutic?
Please share how the programworks and then we'll have that
base knowledge before learningthe specifics in episode two.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
So GOMO was very lucky to encounter Crossroads
for Hope and Amy Sutton andCatherine At the time.
They were looking to do a lotmore in underserved communities
around New Jersey.
They were looking to expandnationally and looking to
(21:29):
enhance their service beyondin-person, in-facility and
telephonic so they could addresspeople where and when they need
the help, because people have alot of psychosocial issues when
you go through cancer 24 by 7.
So we met them and together wecreated my go-to support because
(21:52):
people going through a cancerjourney and their families have
so many life factor issues.
It affects work and home andhobbies and play and your
children, your extended family,who you believe you are.
How it works is my go-tosupport as a digital engagement
(22:13):
system that complements thehuman social workers who provide
support at Crossroads for Hope,engages people in their lived
environment, is in constanttouch with them, asks them
questions, learns about theirneeds and some of those are
escalated immediately to theCrossroads for Hope team so they
(22:35):
can deal with it right then andthere Eliminate uncertainty,
make people feel connected andless isolated and lonely,
whether they're stressed becausethey may be going bankrupt for
cancer or the physiology of thedisease, or because they don't
feel they can take care of theirchildren.
(22:55):
So these are things thatCrossroads for Hope and my Go-To
Support get at and help peopleto develop and foster mental
resiliency to stay in the game,and that's really important.
If you're going to beat thecancer, you're not only going to
survive, but you're going tothrive.
So in the next episode, we'regoing to hear specifically on
(23:15):
how my Go-to support isenhancing and extending the
great work that Crossroads forHope is doing to people affected
by cancer and their families.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Thanks, bob, and thanks so much, trisha and Matt
for sharing your stories aboutyour journeys with our listeners
.
Thanks also to Amy Sutton.
We look forward to hearing morefrom you in episode two For
more information.
To hearing more from you inepisode two.
For more information, pleasevisit gomahealthcom.
Human Resilience is nowavailable on all major podcast
(23:48):
engines, including Apple Music,spotify and iHeartRadio.
On behalf of my podcast partner, bob Gold, and myself, thank
you all for listening to thisepisode of Human Resilience
Changing the Way Healthcare isDelivered.
We exist to make sure that nobody faces cancer alone,
and we do that because weunderstand that patients and
families need support to dealwith a life-threatening health
crisis and that it's really notaccessible in healthcare today.
So we're here to fill that voidand bridge that gap, and that
is life-changing for people.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
There are times in the world and in life when a
discovery changes how we dothings.
Hi, I'm Shelley Schoenfeld.
Join me and my podcast partner,behavioral technologist Bob
Gold, on this journey ofdiscovery as we unfold a whole
person health delivery sciencefor people in need.
Welcome to Human ResilienceChanging the Way Healthcare is
Delivered.
(00:52):
We just heard from Amy Sutton,CEO of Crossroads for Hope, a
New Jersey-based network ofcancer support, In this part,
one of two episodes about thisamazing organization and its
dedicated practitioners, we'regoing to meet two current
beneficiaries and hear from themabout their experiences.
Trish Tyler and MattMichalowski explained to us the
(01:15):
initial shock of a cancerdiagnosis, the overwhelming
feelings patients have from thatday forward, and then the value
that Crossroads for Hopebrought to them with every step
following that news in theircancer journeys.
Bob sat down with both Trishand Matt recently.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Hey, my name is Trish Tyler.
I am a preschool teacher and Iam an improv comedian.
I also do some standup andwriting and I was born in New
York, raised in New Jersey, Ileft for a little while to go to
Chicago and I came back to NewJersey.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
Fascinating.
Could you do a little routinenow?
What's like a good line you doin this stand up, come on.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Well, I mean, if you want to get super dark, when I
found out that I had cancer, Icalled Rutgers Medical and I was
like you guys have to save meand they go.
Why I'm like?
Because I still owe you $36,000in student loans.
So they did save me.
(02:30):
So now I owe $36,000 in studentloans and $52,000 in medical
bills, got it.
Straight out of my act, guys.
Speaker 4 (02:37):
All right, Love it and Matt what about yourself.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
My name is Matthew Michalowski and born and raised
in New Jersey.
My name is Matthew Michaloskiand born and raised in New
Jersey.
I've left 25 times, includingSpain and Colorado and all these
strange places, and havemanaged to return to New Jersey
and come from a big family.
I got four sisters, twobrothers.
My dad has passed.
My mom is still around.
(03:01):
She turns 89 in a couple ofweeks.
I turned 59 today.
She's a godsend.
You look great.
You look like 40.
You sound like my sister-in-lawwho said, matt, you've put on
10 pounds since you've gottencancer.
You should get cancer morefrequently.
And so there's that twistedside of humor.
(03:21):
Got to keep a positive attitude.
The glass is half full, becauseit's real easy to find a half
empty glass.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Okay, so let's kind of get into the circumstances.
Trish, just tell us a littlebit about your journey.
When were you diagnosed andwhat was that, when was that and
what type of cancer, if you'reokay talking about that, and
let's start with that, and then,ultimately, how you got to
(03:48):
Crossroads for Hope.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Absolutely.
I was diagnosed in November of2021.
It was a stage one breastcancer, but I wound up at
Rutgers Medical and they haddirected me to Crossroads.
Well, I am two and a half yearspositive, free, all good.
(04:14):
So October 17th is my birthday,but it's also my next mammogram
, because I like to be miserableon my birthday, and if that all
goes well, it'll be three years.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
That's awesome.
Good for you.
So who at Rutgers Medicalintroduced you to Crossroads for
Hope?
Was it a social worker, or anurse, or a doctor?
It was a nurse.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
My particular surgeon has the most amazing nurse on
the face of the earth and shedeals with like all of my head
case things.
I mean and I know I'm a headcase like even for like
non-cancer things my kidsstarting a new school and like
orientation, like I'm so sorrymy family was falling apart
(04:59):
because that's another podcastaltogether about families
responding to cancer and so Ididn't have anybody to be like
you're going to be okay.
So they directed me toCrossroads.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Gotcha.
I'm going to come back to thatin a minute, I want to just
switch over to Matt.
So, matt, what about when wereyou diagnosed?
And I think you said it wascancer in your shoulder.
Speaker 5 (05:26):
Mine is.
My story is a little bitdifferent.
Mine was me ignoring myself andallowing what would have been a
15-minute dermatologyappointment turning into
ignoring basal cell carcinomafor a long time.
So mine was just progressivelygetting worse and part of that
(05:47):
reason was loneliness, nothaving a place to vent and talk
about it.
I come from a big family.
My mom was going throughdementia, my brother was going
through hip replacements, mysister was going through her
things and today's world is verybusy and people don't have time
to stop and listen to otherpeople's problems.
(06:07):
And the more I tried to reachout to certain people and places
and friends, the less support Iwas finding to really drop a
bomb on someone saying hey, Ineed help.
And so I started reaching outto oh, the Catholic church
charities and they were likewe'll get back to you and six
(06:27):
weeks would pass and I'd keepcalling and I'd be like you know
what?
I really need help, I needdirection, I need someone to
kick me in the butt and move mealong.
And then I finally had one daywhere my world kind of collapsed
and it was time to break freeand just bite the bullet and
spoke to my brother who flew inover the weekend and was an
(06:49):
angel, came down and took careof a lot of business for me and
found Crossroads for Hope.
Been through the chemo, I'vebeen through the radiation, I've
been through recovery andevidently everything is all gone
.
My oncologist is very pleased.
I've been a carpenter slashcraftsman my whole entire life
(07:10):
and now using a drill isevidently too much for me right
now.
So it's a very trying time forme.
I almost have to reevaluate mywhole life and try and get back
into the work world.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
You know what's interesting is some by science
is a science of human motivation, activation, resiliency.
It involves cognition, how thebrain works, and then what are
the resulting behaviors?
Right Outlook is like the mostimportant thing if you're
willing to listen, learn, change.
Not your cancer diagnosis, notyour health, not your mental
(07:48):
state, but what's your outlook.
There are certain techniquesthat Crossroads for Hope and
others can help you with and howto almost rethink your outlook.
Speaker 5 (07:58):
You know how the glass is half full versus half
empty it was an immediatetransformation when my brother
came to town and I saw my firstdoctor and got sent to an
oncologist and I was at DEFCON 5and was waiting for you've got
three months, six months and shecame in and took a look at
(08:19):
things and she said you're a twoout of 10 in the cancer scale
and the weight of the world justreleased from my shoulders.
And that was a huge, pivotalday.
And that is when my entireattitude kind of went to.
All I got is today and thismorning I didn't even think
there was tomorrow and not thatI was doom and gloom, but I was
(08:43):
just very in my own little worldand by her just telling me that
I would be okay and I'm goingto see a lot of, her removed the
weight of the world.
My original outreaching toCrossroads was my brother had
gotten me the pamphlet.
It immediately went to thedashboard of my car.
(09:04):
I began seeing the oncologist.
I was getting ready for mychemo and I looked down at it
one day and I said there's areason I haven't thrown that
away.
And so I made the calls and Ilived down the street from the
hospital where every firstTuesday of each month are the
(09:25):
meetings and I showed up for ameeting and introduced myself
and told my story and listenedto everyone else's story and in
a way, I'm blessed and gratefulthat my cancer is not as you
know.
They're all bad, they are allbad and mine is not the worst
(09:49):
that is out there.
So I showed up and when Irealized, like, how blessed I
was, I began to feel more of asupport to the others that are
either beginning this journey orin the middle of it, and love
Crossroads, for that ability tobe able to just have a place to
(10:09):
talk and have a place to shedtears.
Speaker 4 (10:12):
Give me an example of a couple conversations.
Maybe that helped youcathartically.
You know, get stuff off yourmind, whether you ended up
crying or being angry orwhatever they were.
That was helpful.
Speaker 5 (10:26):
Well, you know my anger is pointed at myself, so
it wasn't so much about anyoneelse and having the support
within Crossroads to be likelook, we're human, we all make
mistakes and you know you madeone and it's done and it's
passed.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Well, in the beginning it was a lot of just
appointments talking to kylebecause of the fact that I
didn't have anyone to talk to,but kyle was amazing and, um, he
was also helping me through alot of like.
My employer didn't quiteunderstand what this meant.
They set up, uh, my son to talkto somebody, which was great.
(11:07):
You know what I mean, becausehe had a lot to unpack as well.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
So your son had a session or so with Crossroads?
Yes, when he got off thatexperience, call whatever.
Discussion like what did he sayto you?
Discussion Like what?
What did he say to you?
Speaker 3 (11:22):
He was asking me a lot of like science questions.
He was coming at it from a veryanalytical point of view.
I don't think in one secondlike I might've thought I was
going to die, he didn't think Iwas going to die, do you know?
What.
I mean so he was like so thishappened, so now, what are they
(11:42):
going to do?
They're going to cut it out.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
I gotcha Folks going through complex situations, in
this case, cancer.
Clearly a huge issue is whatgoes on in your head and all the
fear, anxiety, emotions, stress, and a lot of times the medical
world doesn't address that perse.
That's why something likeCrossroads for Hope exists,
(12:06):
thank God.
So talk a little bit about therelationship between your state
of mind and your ability tofunction running a family,
having cancer, dealing withloneliness or your outlook, or
whatever each of you have gonethrough.
And what would you recommend ifyou were talking to an oncology
(12:29):
practice as to why they shouldbetter address people's brain
health?
Speaker 5 (12:33):
So Matt, you want to take that.
The discussion we had wasultimately that day you get your
diagnosis of cancer and how youstart to freak out.
And there are horrible cancers,that the clock is ticking and
your time is up and there areother that are treatable and a
(12:54):
lot of people survive and therealmost needs to be a not a food
pyramid but a cancer pyramid oflike where do I fall in this
realm?
Is this like uncurable andyou're going to, I'm going to be
tortured for the next sixmonths and die?
Or is this treatable and can Imove on?
So we had oncology come in.
(13:15):
We've had a couple of doctorscome in and basically discuss
bedside manner.
They start throwing terms atyou that you have no idea, all
these Latin terms, and all of asudden you have to become an
expert in terminology.
And it's also overwhelming andthat's what I loved about the
Crossroads program is that eachweek or each session was very
(13:40):
different.
My oncologist calmed me down infour minutes flat and I can
imagine the other type ofdoctors that have no bedside
manner or don't realize it, butare very analytical and very
much not really understand thatwe're freaking out, that you
just threw the cancer word at usat us.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
I felt like my surgeon and her staff were
really good at addressing the.
This is not a death sentenceand you know I perfectly expect
to never be operating on youagain.
But I think where I hadproblems was the regular like
going to the oncologist forthose checkups for my tamoxifen.
I'm waiting there hours in aroom by myself and there is no
(14:34):
checking in on your head space,kind of idea like that because
she is unfortunately overworkedand has too many patients and
all of this is going on.
And then it's like how do youprioritize the patients?
I don't know about you and I'vedefinitely had this
conversation with Kyle and I'vehad this conversation with other
comedian friends of mine whohave had cancer Like when you do
(14:57):
have a stage one, you almostfeel like you have imposter
syndrome.
You almost feel like you haveimposter syndrome.
Going back to what what mattsaid, they're all bad, but
sometimes you feel like, well,was my bad enough, because I'm
not getting the time that maybeI should get.
Do you know what I mean?
(15:18):
and am I being greedy for askingfor it you know if I can
interject?
Speaker 5 (15:23):
you know my boss is like okay, you're done with
chemo and radiation, when areyou coming back to work?
And I'm like, dude, I'mrecovering, my butt is still
kicked, my radiation is done,and like I need time to heal and
like I thought it was all doneand it's like no, this is a
journey.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
I didn't feel better from my radiation until six
months after my last.
Speaker 5 (15:46):
Exactly that's where I'm at.
You're talking first worldproblems here.
You were in a much difficultposition a year ago and once
again Crossroads has helped that, and even the people at
Crossroads in our meetings arelike man, you should have seen
you the first two times you camein.
We thought you would never comeback.
(16:07):
We didn't think you would openup.
We didn't.
And now you're.
You're a whole new person, andso my attitude has changed
tremendously my compassion, myoutlook, my reach to other
people.
When people want to talk, Ifind myself listening more, less
talking, more listening andreally trying to let them
(16:29):
vocalize what they may or maynot be able to get out into the
rest of the world.
And you never know, by justlistening to someone, how
beneficial that is to them.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
Good and Trish.
What about your outlook?
Or maybe do you have anaspirational personal goal now,
or you're through this, orwhat's your story?
Speaker 3 (16:50):
That's a good question, because there are some
days that I still feel likethere is no tomorrow.
You know that there's justtoday and I don't necessarily
love feeling that way, but it'ssomething I'm still working
through.
But I mean, I have a familythat supports me and is like my
(17:11):
husband's like do whatever youneed to do to keep doing comedy.
Do comedy about this, becausethere are other people in that
audience who want to hear this.
You know, I think now, before Ihad cancer, it was sort of like
oh, this is something that I'lldo another time, I'll put it on
the shelf and I'll do itanother time.
Now I'm like no, we're going todo it now.
(17:34):
A good example is I'm taking myson to California tomorrow.
A good example is I'm taking myson to California tomorrow.
Okay, we're going to go toDisneyland because he wants to
see Deadpool and we're going togo.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Very grateful for A my brother picking up the
brochure and finding Crossroadsfor Hope.
I don't know how heaccomplished what he
accomplished in four days, allof which was so overwhelming to
me at that time.
He came in like a tornado andjust got me hooked up.
It helped me so much I feellike how can I not want to
(18:11):
contribute to this?
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Couldn't be more thankful for Nurse Simona, you
know, hooking me up withCrossroads Kyle, who just talked
me off the ledge more timesthan I care to admit to my God.
And then I guess, like ifthere's anything to take out of
this is don't put anything onthe shelf.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Just do it.
Once you get pulled into thesystem, it's a language that
most people don't evenunderstand.
It's complicated, it'soverwhelming.
It's both emotionally,intellectually and financially
overwhelming.
Everybody it doesn't matter whoyou are, your income level.
(18:55):
People need to have theirdignity and it's hard to say I
need help.
And people may not answer theirdistress screening honestly
because they're trying to getout of there.
They just want to get out ofthe healthcare.
You know they want to go home.
They've been in treatment orwhatever.
But what we find is when peopleare at home at night, when
(19:15):
we're asking them how they'redoing, they're honest and
whether they complete the fullsurvey or not, they need to say
to somebody I'm struggling.
And it's an outlet and it helpsthem emotionally to understand
that they're tethered tosomething, no matter how they're
feeling, and if they reallyneed us, we're right there.
(19:36):
Think about healthcaretransformation.
We often think about it interms of just treatment.
We're saying we can achievetransformation in the most
important aspect of care, whichis the person, how they're
feeling and how they'reexperiencing this journey, and
in the end, when we invest inthat, we will have better health
(19:58):
outcomes.
And, in the end, when we investin that, we will have better
health outcomes.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
Bob, such great insight from Crossroads for Hope
CEO Amy Sutton to close outthis episode.
We've really learned so muchand a strong take home is that
just as important as earlydetection is for cancer survival
, so is getting early help fromprofessionals for patients and
their loved ones.
Crossroads for Hope is anonprofit and all of their
(20:25):
services are free, and that'sjust amazing.
They truly fill the gapsbetween the clinical and the
community and the familynetworks that are crucial for
maintaining positivitythroughout the whole cancer
journey.
And, let's face it, cancer andremission is still a threat.
Trish was very specific intalking about how Kyle Jackham,
the social work manager atCrossroads for Hope, played such
(20:48):
a key role in helping her.
Can you help us to understand alittle bit more how GOMO Health
worked with Crossroads for Hopeto build the my Go-To Support
Digital Therapeutic?
Please share how the programworks and then we'll have that
base knowledge before learningthe specifics in episode two.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
So GOMO was very lucky to encounter Crossroads
for Hope and Amy Sutton andCatherine At the time.
They were looking to do a lotmore in underserved communities
around New Jersey.
They were looking to expandnationally and looking to
(21:29):
enhance their service beyondin-person, in-facility and
telephonic so they could addresspeople where and when they need
the help, because people have alot of psychosocial issues when
you go through cancer 24 by 7.
So we met them and together wecreated my go-to support because
(21:52):
people going through a cancerjourney and their families have
so many life factor issues.
It affects work and home andhobbies and play and your
children, your extended family,who you believe you are.
How it works is my go-tosupport as a digital engagement
(22:13):
system that complements thehuman social workers who provide
support at Crossroads for Hope,engages people in their lived
environment, is in constanttouch with them, asks them
questions, learns about theirneeds and some of those are
escalated immediately to theCrossroads for Hope team so they
(22:35):
can deal with it right then andthere Eliminate uncertainty,
make people feel connected andless isolated and lonely,
whether they're stressed becausethey may be going bankrupt for
cancer or the physiology of thedisease, or because they don't
feel they can take care of theirchildren.
(22:55):
So these are things thatCrossroads for Hope and my Go-To
Support get at and help peopleto develop and foster mental
resiliency to stay in the game,and that's really important.
If you're going to beat thecancer, you're not only going to
survive, but you're going tothrive.
So in the next episode, we'regoing to hear specifically on
(23:15):
how my Go-to support isenhancing and extending the
great work that Crossroads forHope is doing to people affected
by cancer and their families.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
Thanks, bob, and thanks so much, trisha and Matt
for sharing your stories aboutyour journeys with our listeners
.
Thanks also to Amy Sutton.
We look forward to hearing morefrom you in episode two For
more information.
To hearing more from you inepisode two.
For more information, pleasevisit gomahealthcom.
Human Resilience is nowavailable on all major podcast
(23:48):
engines, including Apple Music,spotify and iHeartRadio.
On behalf of my podcast partner, bob Gold, and myself, thank
you all for listening to thisepisode of Human Resilience
Changing the Way Healthcare isDelivered.
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