Humble Baddies - Nigerian Weddings: Trending or Timeless + the Kanye West Confession! - Humble Baddies

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Like get in my way, never out of my lad
It's been like you one and the more one. So
what is gonna be? Baby squad? What? What?

Speaker 2 (00:08):
What?

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hey? Y'all shood eating? Happy Monday.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Another episode of the Humble Baddies podcast. I'm your girl,
Ashley Nicole when I'm Alexis Welch, Sidameyer and I'm surel
Risotto and we are the Humble Baddy'll miss you, le,
I miss y'all.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
What's going on, ladies? Everybody traveling? Yes? And our best lives?
And that's right.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
Are y'all back home? What's the bag like? I'm back, Yeah,
I'm not buried.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
World is jobella? I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
It's like I'm traveling. I'm just traveling, living my best life.
Enjoin Cape Town.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, how that is right? Mm hmmm.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
It's cold here, y'all. It's winter. It's going into winter now.
So it's been crazy, like I really haven't. I wasn't
able to enjoy, but I still did some amazing things.
Today I went to the gun range and tomorrow I'm
going on in the morning. I'm going on the safari
in less than three hours because it's in the morning.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Wow, I'm like that sounds so fun. Have you been
a little on the top mountain yet?

Speaker 2 (01:42):
We rolled up, but we didn't go all the way up.
The gun range was like midway through. But I've seen
tabletop mountain right here.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Yes, I love it. I have that big b. Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
South Africa is beautiful. It's a ton of history there,
especially the fact that it was you know, a port
as well for slaves to pass through, So it's a
lot of history there. The prison there with Nelson Mandela
another another spot to go.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
To the museum. So yeah, boy, love love Cape Town.
Love it. Yes, I'm loving it. We're gonna have to
come back and do a girl strip here when it
warms up. Yeah, they have too. Oh. Yes, the wine.
I went to the one of the wine forums day
before yesterday's.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Ah, I believe they have a ton of wines out there.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
Look y'all, I'm learning.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
I'm getting into the wine tasting and all every time
I'll be trying to order bottles of wine. You'd be good,
So now find your wine so you'll know which one
you know when we startpping we get that.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
Home's I love that. What about you? Lex? You where
you at in the world?

Speaker 2 (02:59):
I was in I mean I know what it's like
to be on a tour as far as being either
a musician or a basketball player, because I went from
La I went from Miami to La La, to Chicago,
Chicago to Indiana, and then back to Miami, all within.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Four or five days. Just a world within. I was
with Monique on her her first stop of her book tour.

Speaker 2 (03:28):
Since she's from Monique Rodriguez, who just released her book
The Going to Her Story, So yeah, I'll if you're
a mote, yeah you know that's where she's from. And
so we just were there in support of her and
just to see everyone line up and her family and
friends just be there to support her. Got some Garretts popcorn,

(03:49):
so shout out to Chicago, and some Herobs fried chicken
so those in the Midwest, no, what's up. So it
was just good to go and took a tour of
the warehouse, just really just and tapped in with family
and friends that I saw along the way. Ran into
a girlfriend in Chicago that I haven't seen in a while,
but we've known each other for over twenty years, my girl, Serena.

(04:12):
And then I got to see my nieces and my
sister in La so just good times, you know, just
to keep hopping and everything that's beautiful. To show up
for our girl Monique like that, and then you have
to see your people too. I can't wait to dive
into that book. I meant to bring it to Africa
so I could read it, and I accidentally left it.

(04:34):
But I'm about to get into it. Yeah, the house
waited for me. I have had an amazing story. So
y'all go get that. Everyone in support, because it's just
a she's a good person. You know, she's our friend,
and she just really means well and has a great
spirit and a great business woman and just you know,
I'm happy for her. And so that's what I love

(04:58):
about Monique. She's so humble, always support you know, small businesses.
So shout out to our girl only let's give her
the support back the way she supports us.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
So the day.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Okay, yes, right, ord to your story. Go out and
pick that up now. Absolutely, it's on an Amazon. You
can order it off Amazon, Yes, yes, absolutely, and you
ash well.

Speaker 1 (05:25):
I just got home. Cherrelle drugged me to this wedding
in Nigeria. Not drug, not drug. I mean I'm glad
she did. We got invited to a wedding, and you know,
initially I was like, well, I just left from Nigeria,
so I'm not sure that I will be able to
make it because it's not like Nigeria's right down the street,
of course.

Speaker 2 (05:45):
But Paul's asking before you go for that. I was like, ask, girl,
you need to you need to do something strange. You
need to do like you need to do something strange
for a little bit of change for field girl, because
I'm about to ask you to go to Africa, and
you know he ain't gonna let you come to Africa again,
so I'm gonna need you to spice it up.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Do what you gotta do so he can say yes
and throw a little rattled down. You know. He was
taking care of Okay.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
I just sent me right on my way and I
was back in that year, my girl Chirelle and I
had the time of my life.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
I'm so glad I went.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
Taught me into going because the experience of a lifetime. Honestly,
it was amazing. We were invited to one of the
biggest weddings of the year. It was a Tanzanian singer
and our friend Choma, her sister was the bride and

(06:46):
I mean they showed up for this couple like I've
never seen anything like it. I mean, the whole I
feel like the whole country showed up. Okay, and so
I didn't know what I was showing up honestly truly,
but they did and they got right on it together.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
I'm talking out.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
They made me a dress in like two days there
and makeup trauma, she literally trauma, laid out the red prayer,
she put together. We didn't have to do nothing but this, Okay,
But I'm talking about the people there are just so talented.
The designer made my dressing like two days. I mean,

(07:27):
the Mejia artists, the hairstylists, the videographers, the photographers, I mean,
everybody was just so kind and so welcoming, like it
really just made the trip that much more amazing. And
when I felt like we needed a redo of Legos
because she was like, I don't know about this. I
think this is my last time coming. I probably would

(07:50):
come for day, I said, Ashley, just trust me, we
have to give it another experience, and I promise you
you will love it here.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, right, and this trip.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
He was right, that's good, right, Legos, it was I
love Legos. I love Nigeria, and we got to go
to Abuja too, which was another city in Nigeria, so
it was nice to experience like a different area. We
went there for a birthday party and child they was

(08:21):
live that party. That's the biggest birthday party I haven't
ever seen in my life. Imagine like a conference citter
birthday party. Everybody dressed to the nines and goals and
tucks with nothing but millionaires and billionaires and everybody black.
We love to see everybody black and I ain't seen

(08:46):
nothing like it before in my life.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
I love it. I love Yeah, it was we'll get
back to that because we do need to talk about that.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
But everyone's Easter was good Eastern for the most part.
I want to cherish on Saturday. I got can relax
on Sunday.

Speaker 1 (09:05):
That was good.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
I had a relaxation day. This is my first time
ever having a relax Easter, so it was good.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Yeah, he is risen.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
Yeah, I celebrate Passover, but at the same time respect
Easter and all that comes with it.

Speaker 1 (09:23):
So just was very chill.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
Took a nice bike ride and ended up just hanging
out by the pool and relaxing, having some Popeyes. Okay, okay,
just a good Sunday, easy Sunday, real, real.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
Simple, not les you a ship and you're behind. Just
had some pop us.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
Yeah mm hm, you know why, just because we all
deserve a cheap day and Pope's is definitely high on
the list of that.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
The spicy wings with the hot pepper, you know, and
then a little rice. Gotta have them. They got, they
got a Popeyes and Sunday out it. No she ain't. Yeah,
it ain't no popous. I get that. You know, it
has to get brought in. Absolutely gotta go. You know.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Actually, you know it's closer to hard rock over there,
like Hollywood. Yeah, Lex, you know there, you know there's
well there's a way, Lex. You know how to throw
down on soul food. I do, of course my mom
is My mom and dad both cooked and so that's
what I grew up on being in Kansas City, Missouri,

(10:34):
whether it's barbecue or soul food, and I know how
to do it all. So the good thing is with
the culinary background and just from traveling, I can do
other things too, not strictly to soul food.

Speaker 1 (10:46):
You know, Africa scene, Well.

Speaker 2 (10:49):
We won't have to do a good Sunday demo and
we all come in your house?

Speaker 1 (10:55):
Is that?

Speaker 2 (10:56):
I like that nik and cheese. I like fried cabin
and know I could do turkey wings. There has to
be turkey wings. Yeah, I don't eat pork, so we
none that turkey wing? What else to some corn bread?

Speaker 1 (11:10):
I might can give you a run for your money
on the turkey wings, like i'd be. I know how
you do yours too?

Speaker 2 (11:20):
Real?

Speaker 1 (11:20):
I remember it telling about recipe.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Now that's a good that's a good recipe. Yeah, I
won't I won't put the put it out there, but
we should.

Speaker 1 (11:33):
I got a question. Do you make your corn bread sweet? No?
I do not. I like sweet corn bread.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
Yeah, it's a little sugar. It's a little sugar in there,
but I don't like to overdo it. I like to
do it more of like a honey butter. Now that okay,
I can do the honey butter.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
But some people do like that cr You know I'm
talking about sugar or like save corn or hallopeeno cheddar.
I don't like that. I don't like weren't any people
do that? I don't make that.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
You're like the only time I'm making my buttermilk corn
bread is when I'm making my addressing. Yeah that's oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay,
that's how I was race too. Anyway, well let's get
into you all the first topic.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Let's you know, speak, going back to the Nigerian wedding esh.
You know you were making some some.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
Some headlines while you were over there, weren't you. But
let me go ahead and read this so we can
get the people up to date. Nigerian weddings trending or timeless.
We're diving into a celebration that's taking over timelines, blogs,
and wedding vision boards across the globe. Nigerian weddings. From

(12:58):
the vibrant fashion to the electrifying energy of the live drummers,
these cultural celebrations have become more than just ceremonies.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
They're full on experiences, right, ladies, this past week are
very own.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
Charrelle and Ashley found themselves in front and center of
one of the most iconic events and let's just say
the blogs are buzzing.

Speaker 1 (13:25):
Ashley was blown away by the vibe.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
She's now considering a full NASEA style val renewal for
her tenure anniversary. But it raises a few questions. We're
not afraid to tap into ladies?

Speaker 1 (13:40):
Are we? So I see in the comments, let's just
ask this question.

Speaker 2 (13:48):
Is it cultural appropriation or appreciation when non Nigerians go
all in.

Speaker 1 (13:57):
On a traditional Naja wedding? What do you think? Okay, So, first.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
Of all, I made a story at the end of
the night after the wedding explaining how it had such
a good time at the wedding, and I said I
wanted one because I just loved everything about it.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
Mind you, I was all feel a little tipsy. Okay,
not a.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
Little I'm celebrating, little tipsy, y'all, just a little you know,
just talking. Okay, It's late night, in the middle of
the night, I'm just talking. So it was really just
me being excited and just you know, trying to share,
like how much I loved the experience, how much I
loved just being included in such a beautiful celebration. And

(14:50):
so maybe my words weren't like perfect or whatever, but
I also don't think they were disrespectful, and I think
most people understood that. And I I feel like the
people that we met and haven't met, just the people
of Nigeria in general, have just been so welcoming and
so That's why I felt so comfortable even saying something
like that, because you know, I read the room.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
You know what I'm saying. They were very welcoming.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
They you know, opened their arms to us in ways
that I would have never imagined. You know, they really
hosted us and really laid out the red carpet for us.
So it wasn't I don't feel like it came from
a place of you know, me trying to take something away.
It was me feeling included. It was me feeling like
I'm I want now like you then I'm a part yet.

(15:38):
So that's where you know that statement came from.

Speaker 1 (15:42):
It.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
So for me, it's very much appreciation. It's very much
like I love it so much. I appreciate being included,
respect the culture, respect, you know, respect what what it
is like, How how are y'all celebrate a wedding? It
was just beautiful. I ain't mean to cut you off, Ashley. Yeah,
I agree, Like it's very much respect. It's very much like, wow,

(16:05):
this is beautiful, Like I'm honored to even be here
to witness this, you know. So for me, it's not
appropriation and if I were to even you know, go
through with such celebration.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
I don't think.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
I would mean, you know, taking their culture and trying
to take it as mine per se, but just you
know the way that they do things there, it's beautiful,
and I would want my family and other black people
to see something like this. I want them to enjoy
it and experience the way we did it. And that

(16:42):
would be like my reasoning for even wanting to share
something like that. You know, yeah, you just it's a
respectful way of just saying thank you so much for
the love you saw, just like you described the dresses
and the makeup artists and the graphic arts and all
these people that were a very talent into Africans.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
You know, and just people that look like you. So
I know it would just makes you femke me it
felt like I'm a part of something because that's like
is not It's very watered down.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
I don't really feel like I'm tied to any culture. Honestly,
I don't identify with America. The only thing I can
identify with is slavery because that's all that they teach
us about, you know, in school, when it comes.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
To our ancestors.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
You know, they're not teaching us about before then really,
they're just saying, y'all came over here in slave ships
and do that's it. And I you know, I I
wish that I had a rich culture to you know.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
Exactly.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
And I think there's a difference, you know, between appreciation
and appropriation.

Speaker 1 (17:52):
I think appropriation is.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
When you're literally like trying to take from a culture
and you know, wear it or consume it in a
way that's not for your own yeah, your own benefit,
and it's just not natural, it's not it's just right,
you know what I mean. Like, I think there's a
big difference. And I'm black, Okay, my people are. If

(18:16):
they not Nigerian, they're from somewhere close over there. Okay,
let's agree.

Speaker 1 (18:21):
Little Ashley. You already know what I'm okay, but I'm
forty three point one am Nigerian. Okay, So I got it.
I got it.

Speaker 2 (18:34):
I gotta do your the testing that you did, because
I guarantee you it's how up there.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
No, it's DNA.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
Your DNA is not like mine, So you're gonna keep
the same I'm no, But I did a different what
what DNA testing? This is a competition about who's the
most Nigerian. It's not not because I'm technically about seventy
percent African, because I'm Kenyan, si ear Leon, I need
to do mine Nigerian my death, so I did the
natty half Jewish though, So yeah, majority of mine is

(19:05):
in the African.

Speaker 1 (19:06):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm forty. I'm gonna go do mine. I'm
gonna do mine. Not gonna let y'all know how much Nigerian,
because I know it's any It's all me. It's in
my blood. They feel it.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
We just don't. As African Americans. Actually, to your point,
we really just have. I mean, we talked about soul
food earlier, you know what I mean. We have that
that is very American, It's very African American. But it
comes from the fact that you know, African's brought over
barbecue for example, So that just kept that going, as
well as using seasoning in different just different ways because

(19:39):
we got scraps, so we had to use all of
the pig all of the vegetables, all of whatever, so whatever.
We just made these dishes and then had to put
all that good love in there and that good soul
in there.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
So that's how we have soul food. But I get it.
We have jump in the room.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
I feel like that's an African American tradition in a wedding,
but nothing like what you know, what you guys have seen.
You know, it's just it's just hard to have trying
to find that identity. So I understand appreciation because you're like,
if you want to hire, there's wedding planners that are
this is all they do, so you can have your
whatever wedding you want. Because I encourage people to do

(20:15):
whatever they want to do.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
Happen now, are.

Speaker 2 (20:20):
Just doing somebody else, like probably like white people, Like
these are white people traditions, you know what I'm saying,
Like you know, getting married in a cathedral or you
know what I'm saying, and wearing a white dress, all
that that comes from colonialism.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Okay, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
So like, why would I not want to tap into
my own roots? I mean, yeah, my first my first
wedding was like that, very just like traditional in the
sense and I had to do this, and you have
to invite these many people and then you you have
to you should be spending X amount of dollars and
you should be doing this. And half the people I

(20:59):
don't even talk to anymore, we're actually more than half,
and then most of them aren't bringing gifts anyway.

Speaker 1 (21:04):
You know, it's just it's just you might as well.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
Go do something that you want to do, that you're
spending money on, that makes you and your partner happy.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
I feel so turned.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
I feel like too, if we had, say we did
weddings like how Nigerians do their weddings, it might be
more people wanted to get married.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
I mean not saying that that should be.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
The reason, but the way that they truly celebrate love,
like they literally have a whole marriage.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
They have like three four weddings.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
They have events all week you know, for the mother
of the bride, you know, they have praise and worship.

Speaker 1 (21:39):
They have events all week long. And to me, that's special.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
That means that they really love and respect and cherish
like the union of a marriage. And you know, I
feel like Americans at this point now people are just
going to the courthouse, you know what I'm saying. So
it ain't nothing to just go to the courthouse and
get a divorced, you know what I mean. I feel
like if you hold up so much, you know, like

(22:04):
getting married, is this important to where we need to
have four weddings like, you know, all the things that
they do and maybe makes you take marriage more seriously
and makes you want to be married more.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
And I feel like.

Speaker 2 (22:16):
That might be an issue with you know, Americans to
getting married these days, because we don't recognize it the
same way they do.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
They really you can tell they really they put their
all into it. Every dress.

Speaker 2 (22:29):
Yeah, and I love that, like I respect that. I
think that's special. I think that's what it should be like.
And then I think I saw I was reading some
of the comments, and that's what I said. If you
are an African American and you have not experienced Africa,
you definitely need to. Because some people were like, why
are some of the women out dressing the broade?

Speaker 1 (22:52):
That's what they do over there? The bride out dressing
the bride? Who everybody, how many time I want you
to come?

Speaker 2 (23:01):
It's it's diresuspectful if you come to a Nigerian wedding
and you're not dressed to impress. The whole goal is
to dress to impress. So people who don't know and
they're just speaking why this person, like you really need
to understand and experience a Nigerian wedding before you speak
on it. On why they do it because it's all

(23:23):
about fashion. It's all about looks. It's like the like
a whole showing respect that thing. It's like I want
you to show up for me. You know, you need
to come look at your best. You need to come
with a stack of money like this big. I mean
they were without boxes of money. Okay, and what you

(23:44):
call it? What how do you call it? Sprand they
call it brand, but we call it and they do
it so respectfully, just like this, Yes, is it pooring?

Speaker 1 (23:58):
And just like friend not out ba I like that.
See that's something that we would need, We would love
to have a Yeah, but like they had the ship
pun it and then and look your family and hell
they right picking it up exactly. Look they're hair out.

(24:20):
You didn't have to worry about that over there. You
didn't have at that wedding.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
You didn't have to worry about nobody picking up stealing
your money, baby, because everybody.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
Fighting at it. Yes, but and it's for the bride.
That is hilarious.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
Yeah, it's an amazing thing to see. And I'm inspired,
That's really what it is. Like, I'm inspired and from
my you know, ten year wedding renewal like or bow renewal.
I want to be inspired for SOCTH American through another
ten years.

Speaker 1 (24:48):
I'm saying I need that.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
I to see a visual us, like, yes, let's celebrate
love like marriage is a big thing.

Speaker 1 (24:54):
It is a big commitment.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
It is spectacular, like I need that inspiration because you know,
marriage is forever, honey. So I need to continue to
be inspired. And that's exactly what that wedding did for me.
If anybody wanted not exactly, I love that.

Speaker 1 (25:13):
It was. So it basically it's set us.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
It's attending this wedding, set of standard of what you like,
you aspire to in a way, just of just how
they everyone showed up. The love, the traditions, the ceremonies,
every food, I mean, the florals. I mean, first of all,
everybody wore this the day. I think, mind blowing to

(25:35):
me that everybody got the same flat fabric, Like, can
you imagine us trying to get everybody the same outfit together?

Speaker 1 (25:44):
That's hard.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
And these people literally got the same fabric and then
went out and got these beautiful dresses made I mean
and all and everybody's dress was different but beauty.

Speaker 1 (25:56):
Wow. But then very much cohesion.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
Was like because I feel like I felt, let's have
something to do with like the tribal colors or something
to wherever.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
Yeah, yeah it does. But let me tell you baby,
because I don't know how they do it. The dresses.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
I still have marks on my stomach, on my back
from the course set and the dress like snatch. They
snatched like you are Like we was walking the car,
almost passed out. I swear to god, you can't sit
down in the car. Was in the car like that,

(26:37):
like we both I couldn't. And yeah, the next day
I was sore. I was like, oh my god, wearing
the dress. I still had it all righty in the
dress they snatched you up and wow, and the gay
I don't want to miss something.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
You're black. It's snacks everything. So okay, they're not playing.
They're not playing.

Speaker 2 (27:07):
It's very much you know, put together. They snap you up.
You got to show up and show out at these events.
It's very uncomfortable, but it's worth you.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
Look. You look everybody, even like the older women, like
the older ladies of the the guests. Oh okay, dresses,
gnashed hair, lash makeup.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
I love that everybody. It's just something everybody need to
go see. I feel like it was better than the
net yellow. Yeah, because everybody had looks. Oh and how
people just walk in so like the guests will like
walk in with like they aren't and then they would
like go up to the couple and like give them

(28:02):
a gift and stuff.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
It was just like this is just I don't know.
It was a shower. You know, it's a big wedding
when it makes the shade room in America and they
are showing like it's a whole award ceremony, like it's
the Emmy whatever.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
You know, it's a big wedding. When they're showing the
outfits of who wore it best, who was dressed nice?
You know it they showed out. You know, it was
an amazing wedding. So shout out for that beauty. When
I went into the airport and you know how they
open your bags and look through everything, they saw my
dress and they.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
Were like, you went to the wedding. I was like yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
They were like, because apparently that was the wedding to
be at. Honey, it was the golden ticket. Okay, yes,
I'm just grateful. I'm grateful to have experienced it.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
I really am what a blessing in the honor? For sure?
For sure. I think it's great to see. And the pictures,
you guys look beautiful.

Speaker 2 (29:08):
Everyone just looked like like they were sitting in their essence,
you know, just very confident and colorful, so very.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
I haven't even toasted my stuff yet. I know we
may not. I'm waiting to calm down. And I'm a
spike it. I like that. I like that strategy. That's
that's good. Just a little reminder, like, hey, little friends with.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Content there like you think, oh, but here people are
content creators, no, baby, Oh but there. They are creating
content and they are doing it at a level that
is beyond they First of all, the turnaround rate is crazy.

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Okay, you take a picture of boom is edited. It's
to you. Okay.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
The video everything they show up, red backgrounds, lights, cameras.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
Oh but I shouldn't seen.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
The makeup parts got about four or five assistance. The
hair people got four or five assistants.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
Like when I tell you, baby, they don't play over
there when it comes to their work. It's on another level. America.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
Actually, is this the same feeling you had like when
you first walked on that campus of the HBCU of
just like seeing excellence and just seeing that that energy. Yeah,
I feel like it's just bringing me back to that
because you're right, this is the only place that I
feel like we are kings and queens. We are not

(30:36):
the minority. We are the majority, and we killing it.
So yeah, honestly, honestly, I.

Speaker 1 (30:42):
Would say.

Speaker 2 (30:46):
This feeling and this experience, I have never experienced it,
and you know, I used to go to the HBCU
colleges and everything, but this experience tops all of that,
just like the beap go us and very royal, just
very obvious because you're looking at at at black wealth.
When people who think of Africa, they don't think of

(31:08):
things like this. They don't think of how beauty, how rich,
how royal that they show. They just poverty, you know,
they know, you know, hungry children, which there are that
is very true, but they're not showing the other parts.
There is wealth, there is wealth, there is abundance, there

(31:30):
is there is business, there is you know, just so
much to Africa inspiration.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
It's like relativity. There's so much that Africa has to
offer and it's a shame that they don't show up.
But that's why I'm hyped up. And I'm like, let's
y'all please.

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Where now you've you've already seen like where it is
right now, so just to take it up another nonche
is going to be a whole nother and liten.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
Our next wedding gonna be our good sis y yes, period,
but enough for real.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
I know everybody is in love of going to Europe.
Here's blah blah blah, but y'all need to go to Africa. Okay,
go to Africa, be around some people that look like
you and have a good time. Go see what it's about.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (32:20):
The ambiance and the restaurants, the gloves, everything is this
top fire tier.

Speaker 1 (32:26):
I love it is love this for y'all.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
Yes, all right, enough, We're gonna let y'all, you know,
enjoy our stories and our pictures on our amazing time
in Africa. And now it's time to get into our
next topic. And it is trending all over social media
right now, you guys, and it's kind of like I I,

(32:53):
you know, Kanye has his his issues or whatever, but
it's like I feel for him. It's that's how he's
coming out. But it's so many issues with this and
so many people have had so many black men are
dealing with this and are not speaking out about it.

(33:13):
So topic too, we're talking about Kanye's confession, trauma, truth
or attacked it.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
Kanye just came out with a new song called My Cousins. Yeah,
Cousins is about my cousin, My cousin that is.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
Locked up in jail for life for killing the pregnant
lady a few years after I told him we wouldn't
look at dirty magazines together anymore.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
So apparently Kanye.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
A child, him and his cousin was looking at gay
porn and they were imitating what they saw in the
porn magazines.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
Perhaps, in my self centered.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
Mess, I felt it was my fault that I showed
him those dirty magazines when he was six, and then
we acted out and we saw my dad had Playboy magazines,
but the magazines so I found in the top my
mom's closet were different. My name is Yea, and I
sucked my cousins till I was fourteen. That's what Kanye tweeted. Wow,

(34:15):
did y'all listen to the song?

Speaker 1 (34:16):
Yeah? I listened to it. It doesn't sound like a
song that he was like trying to make a hit,
though it sounds.

Speaker 2 (34:28):
Like he's trying to a confessional or just kind of
put something on like that his way of getting room whatever,
voice out, getting his thoughts out.

Speaker 1 (34:37):
So he just put it out like that.

Speaker 2 (34:39):
But it doesn't sound like his other music, you know, no,
And I don't know, I feel like every other week
he's doing something wild, right, So it's almost like this
is becoming I hope. I mean, it's like bittersweet because

(35:02):
you hope that he's basically trying to put something out
there to like, you know, that was been in his
spirit or whatever to let out. I hope it's you know,
you hope it's real, just so he can almost get
help for it, you know what I mean. But then
you hope it's not real because you know, it's such
a heavy topic. So I hope he's not trying to

(35:23):
just really trigger other people. But at the same time,
in our black communities, we are taught to be silent.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
No one talks about anything.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
We keep it inside, especially black men, to compress it
to really just be like you know, sweet, yeah, man up,
be tough. And so the masculinity side of it is
there's a lot of our men that are just holding
a lot of this hurt pain inside of them and
not have gotten it out yet. So I hope that

(35:52):
sounds like it's bittersweet to say, hope it's it was true,
you know, but he's just been saying a lot lately,
and we're really watching House gay would I don't think
they would live about something like that. And honestly, it's
kind of like a big public figure speaking out about that.
It's kind of opening up like, Okay, yeah, we know

(36:13):
Yay has some issues and he sayd some crazy things
on the internet to go viral, but this issue is
it's something serious. And I know a lot of friends
who have told male black friends who have told me
whether how they became gay was by force, you know,
they were sexually assaulted, their cousins, you know, forced thery

(36:37):
to do things, or their their uncles or their grandfathers
or their even their own dad, and they didn't speak
on it until they became an adult. And I feel
like it's opening a gateway to basically come out and
talk about it.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
Yes, it's it's it can be embarrassing. You know, some
people don't want to talk about it because they don't
want to be labeled as, oh, you gay because you
did this Kanye in his lyrics, I'm not a gay man,
but this is what I did.

Speaker 2 (37:07):
I feel like maybe he's exposing himself and putting him
his whole story out there so nobody else can tell
his story.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
That's it's not I and you said you.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
I was just gonna say I think it's interesting that
Kanye can continue to do things like this, you know,
put things out in the media, say wild things, do
wild things, show up the way he's been showing, and
everybody's like, what the hell you know with ethic great,
but that's it.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
Whereas like if it was like a Britney Spears or.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Somebody like that, it's like everybody's like, you know, somebody
needs to take care of her. Take take away, like
whatever it is, he needs a conservatorship type of thing,
you know, like where are his people?

Speaker 1 (37:57):
You know? Why is he allowed to continue you to
like be like this.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
But nobody can control Kanye if you notice, nobody can
control I know, and that's yea by Ryan, But why
is that?

Speaker 1 (38:13):
Like I understand, like I see that nobody can control them.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
But I feel like if it was a woman who
was acting out in this way, it would be shut
down like quickly immediately. And I just find it interesting
that Kanye can say the craziest things about jay Z Beyonce,
you know, like every right and crazy, and nobody's stepping in.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Nobody is, you know, even punishing him, Not that he
deserves to be punished. It's just like everybody kind of like,
where's the solution to this? What's going on?

Speaker 2 (38:46):
And they just it's like, are we just going to
keep letting it's happened? Is it gonna snowball into something bigger?

Speaker 1 (38:51):
You know? Are we going to turn the TV on
one day and he's no longer with it?

Speaker 2 (38:55):
You know?

Speaker 1 (38:55):
Like this is where I'm thinking.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
It's like usually people step in at some point and
it feels like we're watching this man like the interior
rate or I don't know, maybe this is I don't
know what this what you would call this, but we
just watching it like and letting it happen, and nobody's
saying anything or doing anything.

Speaker 1 (39:15):
We're just like, but what can they say or do?

Speaker 2 (39:18):
I don't know, I don't know, but what Usually I'm
just saying when there's like big celebrities that start doing
like crashing out somebody at some point, you know, they
step in whatever. With Britney Fear, she had she had
someone over her, she had someone signed like her daddy
Rand was over everything, so of course he was able

(39:39):
to serve. Yeah, with Kanye, he's his own, like I know,
but Harry got to a point where they took over
Britney spears stuff. So that's what I'm saying, Like there's
not like anybody around him to like what they gonna
kill or something, you know, can you is very strategic

(40:01):
on what he does. And I feel like, you know,
Kanye knows a lot, and they know he knows a lot,
so people just.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
Let him do what he do. Let him do what
he does.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
And I don't think that is like what is you
have this around him to care for you, Like they're
not gonna who really who really cares for him?

Speaker 1 (40:24):
Who really cares for him? That have enough power to
be I have personally don't know.

Speaker 2 (40:29):
I'm just saying they're like I don't I don't know,
But I'm just saying like there has to be somebody
that could step in, like he ain't just out here
by himself, like well he has a wife, I mean
not let I'm just saying, that's where it's supposed to start.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
Let's start.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
She ain't even got her own brain, are you that's
not true. I think she's the smart too.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
I don't see he was with him, and Kim's a
smart woman. I don't see him being with he was smart.
He was a crushing and he wasn't doing half the
stuff that he's doing now.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
And somebody said that that might be because his Kim's
mama was making sure he was had the best doctors
and the best medication and the therapists and everything. So
maybe all right now, all right now, if you if
you read the lyrics, he's on what's the what's the
laughing gas?

Speaker 1 (41:26):
Paul nitrous? Nitrous? Yeah, it seems like he's he's hooked
on that because in the lyrics, I actually read the lyrics,
he said it doesn't make him. I heard that, what
doesn't I heard that?

Speaker 2 (41:40):
But I'm just saying, like, like you said, he's smart,
so I don't see him being with an unsmart lady.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
But but you might not have control over him either way.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
But it's sad to see. I'm just I'm getting it's exhausting.
You don't know what's real what's not real? What's a
triggering for others? He has to be careful because he's
already just it's just we're seeing one of ours is
really just start to inspire in us some kind of way.
And obviously he has a platform, obviously he's creative. But

(42:19):
I'm just at a point where it's exhausting. I was
when we were talking about like something else a couple
of weeks ago. It's getting exhausting to the point where
you like, I mean, it's not my background to be like,
let me go help somebody that keeps giving out signs
keep I don't know what the signs are.

Speaker 1 (42:35):
I disagree without an odd motivation, I disagree with you, guys.
I disagree with you guys on this one.

Speaker 2 (42:41):
And I just feel like, you know, he came out,
he had a powerful, vulnerable statement moment, and I feel
like y'all like people are judging him based off this song.

Speaker 1 (42:54):
I didn't say anything judging him. I just said where
I had people to help him do this. Clearly he's
going through something, but maybe thats are we going So
so do you call this crashing out? Because he comes
he come out pactfully with the song, saying.

Speaker 2 (43:11):
The pattern is the patterns are We're just patterns before
we're speaking on this.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
This is a hard song.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
We can't we can't just take this out of all
of it, like we have to look at it as
a whole and as a whole. It seems a little
crash outy to me. It doesn't seem like the saying person.
It doesn't seem it's giving crash out. It's not giving.

Speaker 1 (43:33):
I don't know. I don't think and make a song
and tell the world we were okay with him.

Speaker 2 (43:38):
We were okay with him when of Katrina saying President
Bush doesn't care about black people, he came out and
did that.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
Then the whole thing with Taylor Swift going up and
you know, taking the mic.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
We've seen, Yeah, those are getting we're speaking on this.
I don't feel like it's this situation him coming out
with this and expressing what he did. I feel like
he this is the way I'm letting it out. What
it's not about separate, It's not about separation. Can we

(44:12):
could sit here.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
And judge someone.

Speaker 2 (44:14):
I'm not judging someone. We can say, we can say
they have patterns or whatever. But I feel like at
this moment, Kanye is speaking out. He's expressing what he
went through his childhood trauma. This is what I did,
but I'm not like this. So now it's opening up
doors for men to be able to speak on it.
And it's okay, I'm not gay, but this is what

(44:35):
I went through. I reenacted what I saw, but I'm
not gay. And a lot of people, a lot of
young black men have dealt with this and they're afraid
to speak up about it.

Speaker 1 (44:46):
No, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (44:47):
I mean, this song helps men come out great, but
I still feel like he's crashing out.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
I don't think.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
I feel like he's having a vulnerable moment and he's
he's speaking out about it. He's speaking out about something
that he's not talking about anyone else. He's talking about
what happened to him. So what about all these other
vulnerable moments where he's saying, no one's caring about him,
nobody's this, I shouldn't have had kids with his ex wife.

(45:19):
You know, it's just one thing after another. Then he's
talking about other people's kids and how they were conceived.
It just comes from understand he has had he has
had some moments he's like, we know there's something going
on there everyone knows it. But my concern with Kanye
right now is about this song and him expressing what

(45:43):
he expressed, and how it is silence, and when somebody
are able to speak on it, we talk about them,
they're going in on him, Oh you gay, you put
such and such in your mouth, blah blah blah blah blah.
But I feel like he's being vulnerable and he expressing
him and I don't I honestly don't think it's a
publicity stunt. I don't think it's a publicity sign. I

(46:07):
just really feel like he's crashing out, Like I just
feel like everything is. He's not very sane, Like it's
not it doesn't seem like logical, you know what I mean.
And I'm not saying that the song like it's like
we should judge him and call him gay, like that's

(46:29):
none of my Like, I that's the last thing on
my mind when I thought, I'm literally thinking of it
as in.

Speaker 1 (46:34):
Like thing y'all.

Speaker 2 (46:36):
I'm saying in the comments, of course, you know, and
a lot of the comments be men who it happened
to them, that's right, very because you know, sexual trauma
is a real thing, obviously. I just think that it
has been suppressed in our communities, and not just really
I don't want to say just black communities too, but
it's definitely prevalent.

Speaker 1 (46:55):
We can speak on that, obviously, but again I don't.
It's no judgment.

Speaker 2 (47:03):
It's just very much like we are seeing a pattern
of just this, and we're just like, you know what's next,
you know, and we're gonna look up.

Speaker 1 (47:12):
I hate to say it, you know.

Speaker 2 (47:14):
We don't want to see him hurt himself one day
or something like that. There it has to be something
that needs to be done. It's just sad. It's just
sad to see. It's exhausting to keep hearing about It's
like he keeps saying this, he keeps saying that, and
where where is his help?

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Help?

Speaker 2 (47:32):
Maybe this is him thing help me. This is what
I'm going through internally. So I made this song so
y'all know what I'm going through. This is the only way,
the best way I know how to express it.

Speaker 1 (47:45):
And hopefully maybe this is his therapy, peutic hip, Maybe
this is therapeutic for him him. Let it be known.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
This is something that happened to me that was very personal,
and I'm letting it out. Mm hmm but we can't
say he's crashing out because of this. No, I say
because everything as a whole. But I agree that this
is probably therapeutic and maybe it is a quiet for help.
And maybe this is him like putting it out there
so he can get it off his chest and maybe

(48:16):
somebody can help. Or I don't know, but I think
as a whole it's still a crash. It gives crash out.
But the song, you know, I hope it does help people.

Speaker 1 (48:26):
I really do.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
I hope it does give people, you know, some courage
to speak up on their situations. I just it's not
it's not a hit, it's not a bob. It's not
gonna be played anywhere. This is literally for us to rily.
I don't feel like I don't think he put it
out there for it to be a hit.

Speaker 1 (48:45):
Yeah, I don't think. I don't. I don't think so.
So my question is is this a powerful moment of
ability from a man process in trauma or is it
another headline grabbing move. I think it's both. Both can
be true. Both.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
Yep, it's given both to me. It's both because this
has been consistent on his behalf. But at the same
time he has a platform to share it. It touches
me different because I have close friends who you know,
who have been through this and it's it's like it's heavy.

Speaker 1 (49:27):
I feel like it is.

Speaker 2 (49:28):
It should open the door for you know, for men's
mental health and the silent pains so many, so many
black men hold. It's like we should it should be
okay to talk about, even if it's even if it's
coming from Kanye or someone else that we look up to.
I feel like this, this right here, it should lead

(49:49):
to a serious moment for a black man to get
help and be and be open to speak on it
and heal from it because it's so many that are
suffering from.

Speaker 1 (49:59):
It is and it's it's not just you know, male
or male.

Speaker 2 (50:02):
It's definitely women that are babysitters and you know the
other side of the family that are forcing these men
into like having sexual energy early, you know, and taking there.
I think some rappers just put out about how they
you know, had sex early on, you know with the
older woman, Like that's a lot of then stories with

(50:23):
losing their virginity and then they get over sectioned exactly exactly.
So for sure, this is a conversation that definitely needs
to be you know, brought up more often.

Speaker 1 (50:35):
So I agree.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
I agree from that standpoint. I just think that Kanye
is still very a performative person. So I still think
it's it's both.

Speaker 1 (50:46):
It's like the boy who cried wolf, you know what
I mean, like they he was just saying the wolves
are he was the sheep herder, and the wolves are coming,
the wolves are coming, and everyone's like running to go
and make sure, and then there was no wolf. And
then finally when the wolf came, you know, was there?
So we don't know.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
Yeah, but uh, is it brave or performative for you
to share something that's traumatic through through music?

Speaker 1 (51:12):
I think it's both, and that what we just said,
I think it's both. It's both. It's both brave because
I'm sure he was. I mean, that's brave.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
That's a brave thing to say, and to say it
the way he did, just outright blank period. I don't,
I honestly don't think for this, I don't. I honestly
don't think any other artists would have been able to
get away with something like this. Music artists would have
been able to get away with something like this. That

(51:42):
is a high profile music artist in the rap industry
because with yea even he's the only like Ashley said,
he's the only one that can go on a rent
and say the most outrageous things.

Speaker 1 (52:00):
And people still respect him.

Speaker 2 (52:03):
He's the only one that can say something like this
very and have people and still not get canceled.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
Yeah, because he's a lot of Yes, he said, a
lot of had every He'd have had every every group.
That's why I say it's hard to.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
If somebody has a past of saying things that were
canceled worthy.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
I don't even believe in cancel whatever culture.

Speaker 2 (52:31):
But when you say things to offend people so often,
and you say things to make headlines so often, I
think it does still it makes something like this come
off performative, even though it can change lives and it
can't open the doors for conversations.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
It's just it still gives performative.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
But I mean, if that's what it means to you know,
make changes happen and you know, and make people talk,
then so be it.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
But you know, you gotta look at who the messenger is.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
Maybe he's putting it out there before somebody else try
to attack him with his deepest dark secrets. My question
is why was it so difficult for men, especially black men,
to open up about sexual trauma. It's just to me,
it's very generational as far as embedded in our culture

(53:33):
in general.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
Aunt, tie and uncle and them would come on home,
or somebody would be it.

Speaker 2 (53:40):
It's the war veterans sometimes that came back and they
a cousin over there lost his mind, you know, from
the war, but we just leave him over there. Or
it's very much keeping in the house, We're going to
figure this out together, stay silent.

Speaker 1 (53:55):
It's just really much became I feel.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
Like it just a generational silence killer of suppressing your
thoughts and not having therapy either. You know, therapy has
just really been prevalent for the privilege. Like we just
grew up thinking it's for the privilege and really knowing
that looks like us, and really it wasn't even for
the privilege we when we thought of mental health and

(54:19):
therapy and all this, Oh you crazy, You ain't crazy.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
You don't need none of that.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
If you're going to go talk to somebody and you're
talking to yeah, or you ain't telling our family business,
you're not about go spread out.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
It's just generational parts.

Speaker 2 (54:39):
It's very much heavy, have that heaviness, and what people
are doing is they are really it's abusive behavior.

Speaker 1 (54:47):
And so now that and it goes off of being
physical with.

Speaker 2 (54:50):
Your children as far as like you know, reprimanding them
and using you know, physical force. All these things were
embedded in us, especially just because we would be whipped
for talking, we would be hung for talking.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
So it's just it has just kept.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
It's that's just that little vicious, silent, you know, energy
that is just prevalent in a lot of these households.
And now it's like I feel like almost our generation
is more like talkative about it. We're talking about it,
We're gonna go to a therapist, we're seeking it out
where our children are just like it's very normal, like
this is just a part of exercising my brain. So

(55:26):
we are really in that space of really starting to
break it down, like really stop it. But it's to
your point, Sharrell, it's very much generational curse in that trauma.
It's it's very prevalent in our communities. I mean, we
can speak on it obviously, I'm sure it is and
a lot of other communities too. But we know how
that is because we see we know the people we know,

(55:48):
you know, just don't say nothing leaves this house. You
feel you almost feel intimidated, you know what I mean,
You almost like I better not say nothing. You know
I'm gonna be in trouble with my family and high standard.
You know, I correct, I correct sometimes even like the
elders in my family, when you know they still think, oh, hush, boy,

(56:09):
stop talking back, and no, don't tell him the hush,
let him speak, let him express himself because in a
respectful way. But when you tell them to hush and
not be able to respect to express themselves when.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
They get older, they can't even hold a casual conversation.

Speaker 2 (56:27):
They can't even look a man in his face out
of eye when they're speaking to him, because we're raising
them to shut up, to be men and not speak
and look down.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
Yes, my boys, hold your head up hot, Yes, look
them in they when you're talking to them.

Speaker 2 (56:42):
Yes, when you have a conversation with me, I want
you to look me in my eyes when you're talking
to me, express yourself and lift your head up and
your shoulders up high. That confidence, for sure, and another
part of that the other side of his crying too.
You know what I mean, You better, I cry, you're punk,
you know, you're weak, you soft, all these things or

(57:04):
just put an embedded verbally, you know, just like darts
into the into the spirit of really essentially parents that
are now trying to care for kids and bringing that
same trauma.

Speaker 1 (57:17):
But yeah, we stopping that. We have we have to
break it as parents.

Speaker 2 (57:20):
And and if you if you are seeing your family
or friends, or if you're dealing with it, stop it.
Stop telling your kids to be quiet, stop telling them
to stop talking back, Let them express themselves. Yeah, they
have a void, they have an opinion because you're setting
them up for failure if you don't allow them to

(57:41):
express their feelings. You're right, because the boss or somebody,
You're right, like, I'm not gonna talk to them in
they eye, I'm not gonna You're right.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
It becomes very much you know, repetitive.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
Yeah, and just to add on to what y'all are saying,
you know, it also starts with you know, telling your
children nobody touches your body, nobody sees your body. You know,
your body is your body, and just being very open
about like your body parts.

Speaker 1 (58:13):
You know, don't be calling it a pocketbook, it's a vagina.
You know it's a penis, you.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
Know what I mean, because once you start giving it
little nicknames, it makes it light and it's not like
this is my body, this is my body part. You're
not supposed to touch that and be vocal about it.
And you know, those are conversations as soon as your
baby no, you know, yes, especially when your child, you know,
and somebody else's care, like they need to know. Nobody

(58:41):
else touches you there, nobody else will set you there.
These are conversations that you know, parents need to have
with their children, parents need to have with grandparents, whoever's
going to be watching your children, you know, and hopefully
that will help, you know, so that you don't even
have to get to the you know, childhood trump you know,
with any kind of sexual you know, stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
But I agree with what y'all said. It's generation. It
definitely starts.

Speaker 2 (59:11):
Yeah, it definitely starts with having those conversations with your
children and telling them speak up. If anybody touch you,
speak up, don't let nobody. But next you went to
thinking that it's okay to touch on you correct exactly, Yes,
very important. Is this something that should have been kept private?

(59:32):
That's sharing it helped with others sexual trauma, you mean
with Kanye are just in general.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
With Kanye and just in general. I think it's colorful.

Speaker 2 (59:47):
I think it's always helpful because it does spark something
that somebody can maybe you know, if Kanye can do it,
I can do it, just obviously not in his way,
but very much like let me say something now, I
hope that it does that because they're like everyone does
look at Kanye, you know, to a point where about
genius and very much creative, but at the same time,

(01:00:09):
it's like, you know, as iconic, very much in our
in our generation and just in our world in general.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
He's up there.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
So I feel like it does help out that this
guy because I can't remember who said it before, but
like no one's ever said done a song like this
of his high caliber, you know, of his of his talent,
and so of his platform.

Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
So this is a big deal. So again, I hope
it does spark something in anyone who's been abused to
be like, you know what, it needs to come out,
because all we're doing is hurting ourselves when we keep
it in.

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
Yeah, I don't think it should have been kept private
because obviously, like we're even talking about it now, and
somebody might be watching this now and even though you know,
to me, I feel like he's crashing out, at least
our conversation around it is a little bit more logical
and more in debt. Then you know, maybe they can
puol something from it, and just having this conversation might

(01:01:04):
make them feel comfortable with bringing it up and talking
about it or seeking help.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
So I definitely don't think it's something that should be
kept private.

Speaker 2 (01:01:11):
You know. I think always seeking help for anything that
you're going through that's you know, disturbing your mental Let
it out because keeping it in its nine times out
of ten is not going to help. Yeah, and don't
feeling bears speaking on it. That's my suggestion, especially with

(01:01:32):
you know, what has gone on. We all hold so
much in with childhood trauma and it affects us when
we're adult. So if you are dealing with any type
of situation with childhood trauma, whether it's man or man,
you know, a woman touched on you, whatever it is,
I feel like you definitely should seek some type of

(01:01:54):
help to get through it. Yeah, yeah, I agree, because
it's definitely a true effect. You know, if you if
you don't stop it and just suppress it. Then it
trickles down to your your seed.

Speaker 1 (01:02:07):
Yeah that's true. Well, we hope kanyate the help that
he needs. I think he needs help, and I hope
he gets it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:16):
But I'm glad you know that we can have this
conversation around it, and hopefully other people are having conversations
about it and it helps somebody. Yes, yeah, all right, y'all,
it's time to get into our next segment.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
It is Batty Business Financial Wisdom. We have been getting
a lot of.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
Suggestions on basically about business talk, on how we save money,
how we travel so much, how we're able to do
all these things, So we decided to bring in a
business segment, financial wisdom. So our first topic with is
secure the bad Batty's Finance Talk Batty Budgeting. Took me
a long time to get to this point, but I'm

(01:03:01):
here and I'm still working on my budgeting. So we're
gonna talk about how to blow up without going broke, right, Like,
if we can't budget, y'all know how we like to spend,
how we like to travel, how we like to shop,
how we like to do all these things.

Speaker 1 (01:03:20):
We got to make sure our finances are.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
A line, right, Yeah, So my first question to y'all,
what's the most ridiculous thing you've ever blown a check
on and instantly regretted it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
That's a good question. I mean, it would have to
be a bag for me, Oh yeah, yeah, because I don't.
I don't do that anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
I'd rather spend like just like aig, like a high
end bag like an air mess or Chanel. Definitely, But
like I did that a long time ago, you know
what I mean. It was just very much just like whatever.
So now it's more like what.

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
Could I have done with spending that amount of money
on something else?

Speaker 2 (01:04:06):
Or it could have been for travel, because now that's
what it is for me, you know, for experience or
something that I can have in my mind or help
me educational wise. So I would feel I think that
it would be something like that, just like overspending on it.
I feel like I don't normally overspend. But what I'm

(01:04:26):
still working on is spending my money on food, like
going out to eat. Yes, like I feel like that's
where all my money goes.

Speaker 1 (01:04:38):
It's a lie.

Speaker 2 (01:04:38):
I don't like I want to go out here, I
want to have all the wine I want to have.
I want to order off the me I'm going to
try everything I want to have to start. You know,
I want to do brunch, and I want to do
brunch that turns into dinner.

Speaker 1 (01:04:52):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:04:53):
It's like, I don't know, all my money just goes
to these restaurants and it gets expensive grining for sure,
and entertainment.

Speaker 1 (01:05:02):
Throw them concert tickets in there too. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:04):
So I feel like at the end of the day
when I look back at where I went and it's
all fool I'm like, damn, Like I get mad a
little bit because it's like I could have just took
at home, you know, and and and that it is
cheaper to get groceries. But now we are in this
and the food be better when you cool, of course,
but you have more. But like if you look at

(01:05:26):
it now, ex are eight non dollars. You know what
we're going to act. We're going to Ashley House to
get Yes, we are, guys. I'm like, I need a dozen, please,
but I really have I really today I want blue egg. No,
I'm telling y'all, I'm coming to your house today. Oh yeah,

(01:05:47):
you gonna have I'm gonna have all the colors grow
all the colors. But yeah, I think I think for me,
the most ridiculous thing I spent my money on and
it wasn't I mean, it's still a lot. It was like,
I spent almost nine hundred dollars on makeup and y'all know,
damn well wearing makeup. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, did

(01:06:08):
I spend all this money on this makeup? Just like
everything for the full beat? The full beat plus extra stuff? Yeah,
when everybody used to doing that because you don't even
grab a backup this what's before make this makeup artist.
This was when everybody, y'all remember when we used to

(01:06:29):
go to Mac and get our makeup done.

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
Yes, the Mac kind of set your point and they like,
get your eyeliner, get your this brown, yes, get this
math the whole kid from that. That girl made a
good I get home. He got me good. You know,
did I buy all this makeup? I don't even do
my makeup.

Speaker 2 (01:06:50):
Yeah. Yeah, So that's probably the biggest It's not a
big check, but I the one I felt the most.

Speaker 1 (01:06:59):
I'm like, well, the hell I spend it money, It's
a waste. I like that. I agree with Ashley too,
It's it's definitely food. Yeah, like you look up. You
look up when they get them itemized lists. You're like,
m hmm, what because you know if we because well
you know how we'll do, it'll be a lunch that'll

(01:07:20):
turn into a dinner. The bar got the check, Yeah,
we'd have got to check.

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
Then you go, you like end up somewhere down the
way and you're like, we're starting all over again. Then
we got to driver driving twenty Yeah, the Ubers and
the and we in Miami. So you already know, like
like a day out is a thousand dollars at the
end of I have. Yes. That's why it's very important

(01:07:46):
on budgeting, making sure that you budget.

Speaker 1 (01:07:50):
You're a week out budget, you're a month out.

Speaker 2 (01:07:52):
And sometimes I get a little sidetracked and I'm like, okay,
you know, I'm just going. But then when I get
back to paying bills and start looking at what I
spent because I do have an app that I use,
and I'm like, god.

Speaker 1 (01:08:04):
He I spent this money on there? Yeah, I know
you got to you just you just wiping this. Or
I'll look at my Amax statement. You know it has
the whole circle in it and over half my pie.
They like the kids.

Speaker 2 (01:08:22):
Kids are in trouble because they like the Uber. You know,
convenience costs money too. Yeah, I'm bathing by you. I
have the met I be uber and eat Uber eating.
But is it Uber eating?

Speaker 1 (01:08:33):
Yeah? Uber eat it's the cart's horrible car. Yeah. Now,
when covid was going on, the instacart had me in
a choke hold. I mean, covid was over and I
was still insta cart like getting that COVID and I
was like, you gotta stop doing that. Don't the store
when you go to the grocery store.

Speaker 2 (01:08:53):
You go to the grocery store, You're like, you spend
fifty dollars yo, insta cart bill, it's too good dollar.
It's like what I had to I had car, I
had to get. Well, if the part does it add
tack on their price. So let's say, like a service
juice is three nine, they're gonna charge six ninety nine
because they.

Speaker 1 (01:09:13):
Take and they cut off of it. What's the delivery free?

Speaker 2 (01:09:15):
Now that one hand being a chopo, I had to
I had to cut that out asaph right there girl, right, yes,
But I feel like everyone is getting in that space
just because of what administration we're in, right, now with
the unknown of how prices you know, with the tariffs

(01:09:38):
and things like that, scary.

Speaker 1 (01:09:41):
It is scary.

Speaker 2 (01:09:42):
So you almost think we've we've gotten so used to
things being imported and to the point of like, I
feel like people are going to start realizing, like your nails,
you know, you start looking up that's one hundred and
you know, one hundred and fifty every other week or
whatever your case may be. People are gonna say, are
doing their nails at home or certain things their hair.

(01:10:03):
Maybe I got my jell ex kid, now you know
what I'm saying. Yeah, it took like I'm gonna start
doing nails.

Speaker 1 (01:10:11):
Yeah, doing your own hair, doing your nails, doing your
own thing.

Speaker 2 (01:10:14):
Just be even gym memberships, think little things like that,
people are gonna start scaling back.

Speaker 1 (01:10:19):
I have a feeling just because so you can still
have these luxuries.

Speaker 2 (01:10:23):
It might not be where you can go and have
a gym membership somewhere, but you definitely can go and walk,
you can definitely have a bike, you can definitely do
some other things. So I know there's there's just there's
two ends of it where you don't have to overly spend.

Speaker 1 (01:10:37):
Yeah, but you can be very.

Speaker 2 (01:10:39):
Effic when I'm running out of money, I definitely the
first thing for me is I'm gonna do my own hair.

Speaker 1 (01:10:45):
I'm gonna do my own hair. I ain't got to
the point where I'm gonna do all my own nails
yet could.

Speaker 2 (01:10:51):
I love twat and my nails and nail know, my
nails stay on point, but my hair is like, literally,
if I'm on a budget, I'm like, okay, girl, you're
gonna have to pull out, pull out your flat iron, okay,
and give yourself an out hour or two and just
knock it out. So for me, that's the way that
I you know, when I need to save a little money,

(01:11:13):
It's definitely one of the things that I will cut
back on for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
And then obviously not going out to eat, that's for me.
I'll be like okay on the weekend, only you know
something like that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:11:28):
I remember one time it was everyone's birthday was every
like every week we were going somewhere and I was
and then it was like probably like Christmas, Thanksgiving, like
from that period of like right like November and then
all at December and then right after that January, we
were just like NonStop, you know, And I'm just like whoop.

Speaker 1 (01:11:48):
There it goes. Shoot, Yeah, the money is going away.
But budgeting that's why. That's why it's very important.

Speaker 2 (01:11:56):
It's very important to budget and ways to help with
I feel like ways to help with budgeting is.

Speaker 1 (01:12:03):
Your credit card do offer free app. One of the
apps that I use is meant.

Speaker 2 (01:12:09):
It tracks everything and they also link your bank accounts
and as well as your what you spend as well
as your credits for so mint is easy for tracking.
And another one that I heard about, I haven't started
used it yet. I don't know if you guys ladies
heard of it Cleo for the girlies who want to
assess with their savings cleo is that I never heard

(01:12:30):
of that one, But I never heard of that when
I'm ap to try it out. But tips with with
the with the saving and budgeting start with the fifty
thirty twenty rule. Fifty goes towards your needs, thirty goes
towards your wants, and twenty goes towards your savings. Some
people may switch up the numbers, but that's the regular.

(01:12:51):
Uh that's a good breakdown. Yes, Okay, going into soft
life verse, it's smart life. Treat yourself, but make it
make sense. Oh that's what I need to work on,
treating myself, but making it make sense. Because my alf
to a trip to Paris in June. But I'm gonna

(01:13:13):
be in the private the uh what's it called the
premium economy?

Speaker 1 (01:13:19):
But at least you gonna work there. I'm gonna be there.

Speaker 2 (01:13:22):
Don't worry, Ashley, I'll bring you. I'll bring you snacks there. Okay, No,
you get you and premium economy you still get wine. Okay,
you still get so I'm gonna be good. Okay, but
I'm wasn't paying ten k not to sign no take
crazy crazy, say my first time going to Paris, child,

(01:13:46):
I'll see it when I get there.

Speaker 1 (01:13:48):
Be sleep. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:13:49):
So actually, when you when you book, when you book
your flight to Paris, did your wallet cry when you
spoiled yourself on your tone? Not in premium me kind
of while will been ryan. If I had to book
the first class for ten thousand dollars, then I would
have been crying. All it would have been frying, The
pilot would have been crying. Everybody would have been crying. Okay,

(01:14:09):
but we're gonna be happy. I feel like my wallet
still cried. I mean, we're so we are going to
go to Beyonce concert in Paris. And I was like,
when the tickets came out, we booked the tickets, got away,
booked our hotel room.

Speaker 1 (01:14:26):
Then we were saying. I was like, Ashley, we haven't
booked our flight yet. What we're gonna do.

Speaker 2 (01:14:32):
Look that pensive, but it's a whole lot better than
ten krans France is very expensive, like even just the
hotels to be centrally located. You know, Oh, our budget
is okay lot, Maurice, cause for ten k child, we
can do a whole bunch with ten k.

Speaker 1 (01:14:54):
Yes, you can, yes, a whole new career.

Speaker 2 (01:14:57):
I like to travel, so it is even the if
I might not be in first it's definitely like our
swurge on the hotel view. If we're by ocean, then
I like to see the ocean. If I'm traveling, that
is more important to me than how I will get there.

Speaker 1 (01:15:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:15:14):
Yeah, I have to be comfortable though I cannot, Like
I have bad knees and I just can't.

Speaker 1 (01:15:20):
If it's a long flight, yeah, I just can't do it.
I'm gonna have to be very comfortable. But to see
that we book are comfortable, it's the one behind del
to one right and yeah they still goodness, everything gonna

(01:15:42):
be good to see stuff back a little bit all
the way. But they not a sleeper. Yeah, and a sleeper,
but you can put your hair back listen them. Them
tickets was still expensive. They was like forty five hundred
highest but that still but k baby, Yeah, no, I

(01:16:04):
can't do it. I'm trying to go back to Nigeria
later this year. So Daddy remembered, Lex, you gotta come
with us. I will. We can't. We can't mix.

Speaker 2 (01:16:15):
Uh, let you mix miss out on the next truth.
Since y'all been there, you know, you know the lay
of the you know the ground work is done. It's
easier now to just show it. You know what I mean,
Citizen tiny pump chat. I know that's what me too.

Speaker 1 (01:16:33):
I'm gonna have my Nigerian passport by the time you come. Please,
I believe.

Speaker 2 (01:16:39):
I want to go because now you guys, you guys,
you do know enough people now to where it can be.

Speaker 1 (01:16:44):
It's you show up, show us. It's safe. It ain't
enough people. We know the right right, all right, people
know that.

Speaker 2 (01:16:55):
No, all right, you guys, let's go into the next
one building that that and playing when it's time to bounce,
whether it's from job or at least how to plan
your money moves before you did.

Speaker 1 (01:17:07):
This is one that I can relate to.

Speaker 2 (01:17:10):
And you guys are going to be shocked when I
tell you, guys, this what I did to transition from
the Army into my real estate company.

Speaker 1 (01:17:19):
Okay, so.

Speaker 2 (01:17:22):
I had a side hustle, and some of the side
hustle tips before I go into it are monetizing skills.

Speaker 1 (01:17:27):
You already have writing, beauty at men digital work.

Speaker 2 (01:17:31):
So when I was transitioning out the military, one of
my confessions was my side hustle was being a uber driver.

Speaker 1 (01:17:39):
And see you picking, I swear I had. I had
an accred like that. Listen, y'all. I was a hustler.

Speaker 2 (01:17:48):
I had a I was working for Remix back Bayside,
I was still in the military. I would literally, I
can talk about it now because I ain't in a military,
y'all can't get me not.

Speaker 1 (01:17:58):
I would literally drink. Listen.

Speaker 2 (01:18:01):
I would literally bring two patrol caps to work, and
I would leave one on my desk because our compound
was so big, so I would leave one on my
desk to act like I was still at work.

Speaker 1 (01:18:14):
And you went to the bathroom or something like. I
went to the bathroom where I went to the other
building and I would leave.

Speaker 3 (01:18:22):
So I would leave one on my desk and I
would leave work lunchtime. If I'm not going to close
on the house, I would go Uber drive like pick
up in that area, base shore and all that. That's
what the money at. They would tip good.

Speaker 2 (01:18:37):
So for a good what six months before I opened
up my bro creach, I was hustling overdriving using my
commission checks. I use one of my commission checks to
start up my real estate company. I register my business.
It took twelve hundred dollars just to start up my
real estate company. I registered my business. I found a

(01:18:58):
office lease that was a nice little size where I
could put me a nice desk decorated, and that was
six hundred dollars a month, and I got my whole
little startup. So I spent a total twelve hundred, got
my insurance, and then I just started marketing and I
would use that money. Once I had everything set up
and I was able to move into and transition into

(01:19:19):
my my real estate business, I stopped Uber driving, but
that was one of the things I did to help
me be where I'm at today.

Speaker 1 (01:19:28):
I love that humble beginnings. Yeah you are a money okay,
so how how did you okay?

Speaker 2 (01:19:37):
So then when did you know like you were going
to be done with the army and you were ready
to fully like transition into real estate.

Speaker 1 (01:19:45):
So a lot of people I speak on it sometimes,
but I do.

Speaker 2 (01:19:50):
I was diagnosed with PTSD and I had a back
back from jumping out of the airplanes and you know,
being deployed to Afghanistan twice.

Speaker 1 (01:20:00):
My ears, I was just jacked up. And one day.

Speaker 2 (01:20:04):
My daughter was like, Mom, You're not the same person anymore.
I used to have rage and everything, and I was like,
I'm not the same person I was anymore. Like the
military really changed me. And I went to go, you know,
talk to a therapist. At first, I was like, you
don't know what I've been through. How you going to
tell me what I'm going through? Like very defensive about it.

(01:20:26):
And I gave it another try, and I had a
talk with myself. I said, if I'm not fully a
full leader to lead my soldiers, if I'm not one
hundred percent well and not fully capable to lead my soldiers,
I wouldn't want a leader like them.

Speaker 1 (01:20:47):
So now it's time for me to you know, I've
done my job. I did what I had to do.

Speaker 2 (01:20:53):
So I went to go get therapy, you know, Pope
through everything that I went through in the military, and
my doctor suggested that I medically got meant for it.
So I medically retired after serving twelven and a half years.
And it was probably one of the best decisions I made,
because I feel like a lot of people just stick

(01:21:16):
in that situation or stick in that position, that job
because they're comfortable and it's an easy check and it's
not fair and it's not right for especially if you're
a senior non commissioned officer and you're leading soldiers because
you're not guiding them, you're not leading them in the
right direction where they need to go because your mind
is not there. So for me, I didn't want to

(01:21:36):
be selfish, and I knew it was time for me
to hang it up. Okay, wow, So were you also
like financially like stable enough, you know, based off of
like having the side hustle and what you had saved
death already, or like, was you just like I'm Finn,
just do it and figure it out, like was you already?
I mean I was guaranteed, you know, in the middle

(01:21:59):
of Harry, it's a guaranteed income. It pays your bah,
you get food allowance. It was a comfortable income. No,
I wasn't able to live the lifestyle that I'm living now,
but I was comfortable.

Speaker 1 (01:22:10):
Yes, I was scared.

Speaker 2 (01:22:13):
Once I transitioned because I'm transitioning to be an entrepreneur
or my own boss, and I didn't have anything else
to depend on. It was just me, me taking care
of my kids, So it was scary, but I couldn't
look at it like that. It just made me work
harder and go harder after what I really wanted. And

(01:22:34):
my ego was high because I wanted to prove people wrong,
like who was like, you're crazy, You're getting out after
thirteen years, what are you gonna do?

Speaker 1 (01:22:41):
You'll fail Like I was hearing all those things.

Speaker 2 (01:22:44):
So it was my point to prove people wrong who
were telling me that I was crazy for doing it.
So I really didn't look at it as I knew
I wanted to be successful, so I focused more on
that than worried about what if this happened or whatever,
Because it's gonna happen. You're gonna fail at times, but
it just makes you work harder.

Speaker 1 (01:23:06):
And that's what I did. Okay, I'll break out how
it worked out time living my best life. Now I
love that. So the next one, do y'all have any

(01:23:27):
side hustles huscle tips?

Speaker 2 (01:23:30):
They don't have to be now like when y'all was younger,
or well, I'm about to start selling these eggs.

Speaker 1 (01:23:37):
That's a good one. I always think it's always just
good to like take classes.

Speaker 2 (01:23:43):
There's a lot of free online classes too, So it's
just whatever you can to just keep your brain wired
to just like what's next. You know, it's always a
learning curve, like even just learning something like you know,
just let's just say something like, uh, I don't know,
I'm just thinking editing something or it could be. It's

(01:24:06):
just so many different things you can learn and have
a side hustle on the side, you know what I mean,
and get some residual income.

Speaker 1 (01:24:12):
I do feel like it's necessary.

Speaker 2 (01:24:16):
For those that need, you know, another income where that
could do it from home or just whatever you're good at.
So I just like to always educate myself on something.
Use these free classes. Get advice from those and just
really just do your best to like really perfect yourself
of who you are and keep your brain like functioning
and just trying to improve yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:24:35):
I think those are some keys too, you know. Yes,
well that's great.

Speaker 2 (01:24:41):
I'm glad we were able to discuss a little business
into our segment. Because people need to learn, People want
to listen, people want to know our stories. So let's
go into our last segment of the night, and it
is before we get into our Humble Baddies. Now it
is confession listener Confessions questions would a baddy answer? So

(01:25:02):
you guys go every week we're going to start taking questions.
There are stories, So if you have a question, make
sure you follow us on ig to ask your questions.
Our producer will randomly pick five questions and we will
respond to it. So let's get into it. Actually, you
want to read the question man question number one? Can

(01:25:23):
a man be too emotional? Or are women just conditioned
to avoid vulnerability? Can a man be too emotional? Or
are women just conditioned to avoid vulnerability? I think it's
all about tone, So anybody can be emotional, even male

(01:25:46):
or female.

Speaker 1 (01:25:46):
I think it's just about tone.

Speaker 2 (01:25:49):
Being aggressive or being very mild, whatever your tone is,
or being disrespectful or passive, aggressive, whatever the case may be.

Speaker 1 (01:25:58):
To me as tone, that would be think.

Speaker 2 (01:26:01):
The key is knowing how to express yourself, knowing how
to express your emotions, because you know, you don't want
to be emotionless. You don't want to be with somebody
who has no emotions or doesn't know how to show emotion.
So I think just knowing how to express it and
showing it in a healthy way, being able to communicate
what your feelings are, being able to, you know, if

(01:26:25):
you're frustrated, being able to you know, say that you're frustrated,
but still being a very respectful person. You know, it's
just all in it out like you said, Tom, Yeah,
we were going to read five book.

Speaker 1 (01:26:38):
We got to wrap it up. Five questions, but we
got to wrap it up.

Speaker 2 (01:26:42):
So let's get into the Humble by Humble Baddy mail
and next time, if y'all have any questions, we're going
to make sure we were able to answer them. So Lexus,
you want to go ahead and take over the Humbles?

Speaker 1 (01:26:52):
Sure better?

Speaker 2 (01:26:54):
High ladies, right, I love your show podcast, and I'm
a huge fan of each of you as women and
baddies who are thriving and doing it so well. I'm
thirty six years old. I'm currently renting my place here
in Chicago. I love, love, love my apartment. It is
my first apartment on my own without a roommate, and

(01:27:16):
I have created a little home and it's so convenient
from my job, friends, leisure, etc. One month ago, I
was told my rent was going to go up by
four hundred dollars. I tried to nego negotiate a slight
increase and was told no. I'm torn between staying here
and paying the increase, which would make me be on
such a tight budget and that is not how I

(01:27:37):
want to live. My other choice would be to move
back in with my parents. I have budgeted and could
probably say fifteen K in six months if I do so.
That is hopefully I can buy my own place. But
I'm risking my independence inconvenience that I made my parents
live one hour away moving here four years ago, I

(01:27:58):
envisioned having a found apartment to split costs, move in together,
et cetera. It almost happened, but didn't work out. What
would you decide to do? I'm torn between staying and
feeling so feeling so tight with money and staying another
year hoping to find a partner, or do I move
in with my parents, save money and then come back

(01:28:18):
six to nine months from now. Well, ladies, my advice
to anybody who has the option the privilege of staying
with your parents so that you can save money so
that you can purchase the home of your own, I
say that is always going to be for me my

(01:28:43):
number one choice. Like in advice, I think that, you know,
especially like in the black community, we're always like, oh,
you're eighteen, you got to get out, you know, find
your you know, figure it out, save your money, do
what you gotta do, get a roommate, well woo do wo.
Like we just kind of push our children out into
the world to figure things out and you know, to struggle.

(01:29:07):
And I think that nowadays the conversation is a little
bit different. You know, we don't want our children to
struggle anymore. Like, yes, we want them to be able
to go off into the world and be able to
you know, take care of themselves and be successful and
you know, be able to be out in the world
without you know, us having to do everything for them.

Speaker 1 (01:29:30):
But the world is not set up for that.

Speaker 2 (01:29:34):
Like the way things cost these days, it's impossible for
you to if you in college, you can't go out
here and you know, make a living. Nine times out
of ten, you're gonna be in debt from college. You know,
rent is sky high, and you know, you know, we're
in real estate. And I will always tell people like,

(01:29:54):
you're throwing your money away paying rent.

Speaker 1 (01:29:58):
Ate that money.

Speaker 2 (01:29:58):
If you have the you know, privilege to be able
to live with your parents, you know, help them out
around the house, maybe give them, you know, some money
here and there for whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:30:07):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:30:07):
I'm not saying like be a freeloader at all. What
I'm saying is stay at home.

Speaker 1 (01:30:13):
First of all. That's the safest place you could be anyway.

Speaker 2 (01:30:16):
So for me, like, that's always going to be like safety,
Like I don't know, I'm always going to say, yes,
your parents are gonna be here forever. What's the rush.
My babies ain't gonna be babies forever, so what's the rush.
I'm not trying to push them out into the world,
Like stay home, save your money, use that money for
you know, your down payment on your own place, instead

(01:30:36):
of you know, trying to pay for rent. Because that's
the way to money. So that's what I would tell you, know,
our humble baddy, that's good advice reader. To me, that's
the best option save your money. It might be a
little uncomfortable for a little while, but to me, that's
the best thing to do now for sure. Yeah, that

(01:30:57):
was great advice. Thank you, Ashley. Yeah, well we hope
you take our advice from our humble batty ash What
was her name again? She said she didn't say, it's
just she's from Chicago, from Chicago, unknown bender from Chicago.
Until next time, you guys. That is the end of

(01:31:18):
our show. Thank you guys for watching tuning in. If
you have any questions, suggestions, or just want any advice
from us, make sure you guys hit us up at
contact at humblebatties dot com. Our producers will make sure
that you get it. Make sure you follow us, subscribe
like to your family till your friends. Go over to
YouTube and hit that subscribe button. Until next time, make

(01:31:42):
sure you follow me. I'm sure ro Risotto underscore on Instagram,
I'm ash through Nicole on Instagram, and I'm Alexis Underscore
Stodamyer on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (01:31:54):
Follow Humble Batty's Podcast Until next time. Guys, where the
name

Speaker 2 (01:32:01):
To st

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Humble Baddies - Nigerian Weddings: Trending or Timeless + the Kanye West Confession!

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Ashley Wheeler

Alexis Stoudemire

Sharelle Rosado

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