April 15, 2025 • 37 mins
Sharelle, Ashley, and Alexis answer fan submitted DMs about taking breaks in relationships, navigating a healthy sex life in marriage, would the Humble Baddies join OnlyFans, and much more!
01:38 - Humble Baddies DMs
26:33 - Humble Baddies Mail
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Get in my way, never out of my name. It's
been like you one and the more one, so it
is gonna be baby squad. All right, y'all moving on.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We have some questions from the fans that we want
to answer you, all right, So every week we're gonna
start taking questions via our stories. So if you have
a question, make sure to follow us on I g
and ask your questions and our producers will pick five
questions for us to respond to.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
So let's get to it.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
It's only fans really a solid way to make money.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I think y'all out on there receipts money. I'm not
gonna hold y'alls thought about it.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Oh, only you only try to fee I might need
see feet thank you so to speak.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Because when I'm accidentally like showing a story, because y'all
know i'd be in my stories all the time and
my feet happened to be in there, I'm getting the
most random comments like ooh, let me pick a color
for you, let me slide you some money to yeah
my that giving out my my Venmo, my phone number,
(01:32):
but low key no send you as l Gmail something
timesh apt This is cash app like some Apple pay.
The only fans that like that. It sh is, it's
certain things. And then they have I saw this other thing.
I forget what it's called, but they have where there's
(01:54):
guys who want to be cash mules or something something
to this point where they want they want women.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
To drain their bank accounts.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
So they're like, send me some money, send me some money,
and then a minute later, send me some money like
this amount. So thiss just like it's whatever the d
for me getting bread. I'm not comfortable showing, you know,
like nudity or anything like that, but I might, you know,
let let a foot be shown here and there.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I start only fans and he like he was down
with y y'all would make a lot of money. Ashley.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yeah, I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. We're
gonna go and we're gonna do like I think, like
pictures like but not nude pictures, but like where you
can't really see our faces, like maybe like the sillowetts
of our bodies or something, I don't know, something real
(02:53):
art and classy, you know what I'm saying. Something for
the grown folks just are still very classy, you know,
years especially when I they're back in the gym. You
know what I'm saying, like yeah, mm hmmm, something very
like ladies are showing them they making bread, they making money,
(03:14):
but I don't know what they're doing because they making
millions and I don't know that.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
You know what I'm saying, I might can get a
light bill or something paid with my you know what
I'm saying. Out of gonna be showing all that I
am not to be showing. I am not to be showing.
You know that, then I'll show my feet. I'll be like,
let Andy show my feet. If I show my gonna
they gonna charge me because my feet ugly as hell. See,
(03:44):
they're gonna be like this, we will pay you to
never ever'll go so you ever hear we're sewing.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
We're sewing only fans like who approved this and who
authorized these? This this fak oh okay.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Next question, how long should you be in a relationship
before living together?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Mm hmm how long? And you yeah, it is very situational.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
It's situational if y'all young doing your thing, not even young,
just single, not have no connections like to me, it's
when you have children at home that could be that's
that's tricky. It should be longer obviously because you're now
someone's in your household with your children. But if you
have no attachments or things like that, then't live, you know,
(04:50):
I mean yeah, I feel like yeah, but so I
also know.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I know people you said.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
What I moved in with fell pretty quick, but we
ain't have Lehannah children. And then.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Probably I mean as soon.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I mean, well, I was in college, so as soon
as I graduated, I was at I was limping with him.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
So saying quick like a not after knowing him? How long?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Oh uh, let's see, like six months maybe, And that's
only because I was still at school.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
They probably would have been quirkulent. Yeah, it's situational. I
just feel like if you if.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Y'all clicking and you know, and this is what y'all
gonna do, then you can get to know somebody quicker
that way.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
You know. It's just when you start signing them contracts.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
And them leases and and all that, and you expected
someone to pay bills or that's when you start being pregnant.
Oh yeah, because you're now exactly you got you got time. Yeah,
that's part okay, next question, do you ever have regrets
(06:12):
regrets on how things ended with you and Chad or
I know that question was next? Oh not, y'all, that's
what I did. I had humble baddies. Do you egret?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Question? For therell any regrets? Would you have to regrets about?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
What?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Do you ever have regrets on how things ended with
you and Chad?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
No? I don't dwell on on things like that. I mean,
everything happens for a reason. And you know Chad is
focused on him and I'm focused on me. So it
is what it is.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Period. Cheers U s na than who have asked sex question?
I know?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Okay, all right, next question, what please share with us
your worst date ever?
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Worst dates? Or y'all only have good dates? I asked
a good dates? I don't. I have a bad date story?
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Okay, I have we listening this guy. First of all,
he came in town and it happened to be around
Valentine's Day, but we weren't even like that, so I
was already like he just happened to be in town,
and he was like, you want to go to dinner tomorrow?
And I was like sure, whatever, and not really knowing
(07:59):
it was Valentine's Day. Fast forward, he was like here's
the address of the location and the time was at
five point.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Thirty for dinner.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I didn't think anything of it too much, only because
i know, like usually with Valentine's Day they have like
you know, seatings and things like that, but like that
was the first seating, so I know it was like
last minute.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Wasn't super intentional.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
But the energy started to be off because it's like
I met him there, which was again fine, I don't
mind driving or getting there on my own just because
I like to exit if I need to. But once
we got there, it was just like the flower petals
were everywhere because it was Valentine's Day and all these lovers,
(08:48):
and I just felt uncomfortable because I'm just like, this
is date one, Like what's going on? You know, It's
just a little much. And then the energy was very
much like trying to show off and like really like
you know, like I'm doing this, I'm doing this, but
I'm like, it's a set menu and it's prefixed and
(09:09):
you're not doing all this kind of stuff. And then
he was on his phone most of the time, transferring
money into his account to pay for the dinner. Oh,
it was on the phone doing it and I was
just like, I was like, what's going on right now?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
And then just on the phone too, so I'm just like,
why are we here? So it just friends. We're friends,
thank you so much. But that was a horrible day
for me. It was horrible and not ended up leaving it.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Like after I he was like, you wan dessert or
anything like that, and They're sending out this heart shaped
chocolate cake and I'm like, it's not giving that, it's
not romantic. This is not what we're doing right now.
This is the wrong place, the wrong day, the wrong everything.
But we're cool now, we're friends.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Like he was able to transfer the funds right and
pay right.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Yeah, but you're calling people to do it. And when
we rolled on the reservation was not in his name either.
That shit that was sh it was It was just
it's just you know, it's weird. It's like Foddy hooked
him up at that last minute. Yeah, it was just tachy.
So it was just a little turn off for me.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
So that was not a good day. Yeah, I would
have walked out that.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
It just was just like I really put him in
that friend zone a sap, you know what I mean.
So I didn't have to walk out. It wasn't like
he was horrible, you know what I mean? And I
know him outside of it, But this was your first
impression to try to date me.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah, I had this.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Dream that I say, I always want to play out
like it's a very dramatic scene in my head. But
I'm married, so I don't know if I ever get
to do it. But I want to, like be at
dinner and what's he phil, I'm gonna do it one day.
He just gonna have to play it long, but he's
gonna say something that makes me so mad or do
something and then I throw the water in his face
(11:06):
and I get up and walk away ballance and I'm
going to follow you out.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
I want him to be like, oh my god, Like
I want it to be a whole like scene, you
know what I'm saying, Like I can just see it
playing out.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Dam why role play should do that? Okay, you know what.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
That's cute coming up too, So I'm gonna say you yeah,
and then we go back to the room and then
we have like makeup sex or whatever.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah, that's cute.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Keep it spiking, Okay, I did, Yeah, right? Next question
in a relationship, is it okay for your boyfriend to
always ask for BJ but never wants to go downstairs.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
You what hell flag? That's a red flag.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I'm an equal participant. I mean, give and take give,
and I don't even let's say, if you're gonna do it,
if I'm doing a great job to you, you better
return the favor. I mean for me, it's a pretty
records that like what like that's just like again, ye
(12:30):
know what I'm saying, like, how are you gonna not
It's not gonna We're not exactly, that's the beginning. They
gotta we were too all for that.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
If you're not going down you Yeah, how old are you? Sir? Childish?
You don't like you don't like girls for real? But
I didn't say that. You're very Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I know this wasn't red flag game, but that was
that's definitely a red flag, big red flag, big flat
all right, last question, y'all you win twenty million dollars,
but you can never.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Be on social media again. Are you taking the money
or you saying no.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I'm hauling ass taking the money and hauling ass.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I'm getting hog off right now. Yeah, I out of here.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Twenty ms social it's stressful now like you got post
and being relowed in stay on top of it and
respond and engage and keep up with the algorithms, and bitch,
I'm motherfucker's tied.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Okay, Yeah, I'm taking your next morning minute. I can
go to I'm going to go.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Travel to me do some other things, take care of
things that have somebody else run the social media, haven't that? Yeah, Yeah,
there's definitely you can get you honestly, you can give
me a million dollars. You can give me probably right now.
You can probably give me about you. Probably it's a
number way lower that you could give me. You're right
(14:07):
at this point because you're the media, ain't.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
It's real.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
It's becoming a job. It's becoming very much, you know,
a lot. It's a lot, you know, and it's it's
taxing again on your mental and just just all these things.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
So it's it's a lot. It's a lot to maintain.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
It's a lot. Yeah, So we all taken, were taken.
The twenty million we have here taking.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Out my bending Ye fall in ahead the firm, right.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
That was a fun game. So you've got to make
sure you send us your questions. We would love to
answer them.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
That's so fun. Send you a questions. I like that
a lot.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Yeah, all right, let's get into our next topic, which
is should we be taking breaks and relationships? Why a
time apart? It might be the key to growth. I
don't know about that. Taking a break and relationships has
been a topic of controversy for years. Some say it's
(15:09):
a way to refresh and gain perspective, while others think
it's a way to avoid commitments. So do you think
that breaks help a relationship grow or do they just
create a space for problems to fester. What do you
think constitutes a break in a relationship? If it has
to be communication first of all. Now, I'm not going
(15:32):
to say no relationship is perfect. If you have there's
a reason why, Like let's just say in marriage, obviously
there is a reason why there is a separation period
because you want to make sure you're making the right
decision before you pull the plug.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
So I understand that, But it has.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
To be some kind of rules, regulations communication of the separation.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Are you going to be dating other people? Are you
going to be you.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Know, having sexual whatever you know with other people? What
is going to happen? Like, what do you see happen.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Are you dating?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
What is the point and what is the goal? Like,
what is the goal of the separation? Is it for
us to get back together or to see what else
is out there and see if this is meant to be.
I think it's really tricky when you start having other
people involved in your relationship, especially what you've already established.
It's already hard enough to be committed, so to start
(16:29):
adding all these different energies and adding all this extra
you know, people that are now players in your your
your game, essentially, it becomes super tricky. And you know
what if that person is just one of the one
of the two that are in the relationship is a
lot more you know, social and have more opportunities to
(16:52):
like hang out with other people, go on these dates
and stuff like that, and the other one is not.
They're not able to like have this freedom or this space.
It can get real tricky. I mean, I'm a believer
if you let something go, it comes back. If it
comes back, it's yours. That's how you know, that's the
real thing. But it gets super tricky because now you're like,
are we not supposed to talk to each other as much?
(17:13):
Are we supposed to really break up? Are we really
not together? It is super tricky. I don't even like
daity man that say they're separated. I'm like, you got somebody, Like,
there's still attachment, there's still time attachment, there's still emotional attachment,
there's still all these things because you still have someone
that is really literally in limbo or just waiting their turn.
(17:37):
And I'm not down for that. I feel like it
gets It can get super tricky. But when it comes
to like marriage and separation, before you pull the plug
for divorce, I feel like it could be necessary. I
experience with my past, not this recent relationship. I asked
(18:02):
for a separation to work on each other, thinking that
it would get better. It didn't. Time apart let me
created more. You wanted you, you guys had I don't
mean to cut you off. I just wanted to know
you guys came up with what you thought what separation
should look like or just like when you say separation,
(18:23):
like you were just like, let's not let's feel it
more like really right, it.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Was more like space, so for you to work on you.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Know what caused this, and you know, for me to
deal with with what I need to deal with to
get past it. But what I thought that would be
good the separation for us to work on each other,
It wasn't. It just basically caused more for us to
more separate and go our separate ways. So if if
(18:53):
you both not integrance with what you want and you
don't want to be together, if if y'all are not
on the same page, it can cause a lot of
controversy and can't cause y'all to the port.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
So it's basically what you want.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
A lot of people don't take separation serious when it
comes to relationships because they think, oh, a separation, it's negative.
So this person want to get rid of it. You know,
let me focus on me. You want time apart from me,
Let me focus on me and do me. Instead of
fixing yourself, you jump and go move on and continue
(19:30):
to create that same cycle.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Correct, Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Breaks are a little scary in my mind, Like when
I think about it, it's like we taking this break.
And I was always confused about like separations when people
are separate, like they're married and they go through a separation,
like you know, what is the conversation are y'all saying, like,
you know, let's go out and see if we want
to be with somebody else. Like I never understood that.
(19:58):
I see a lot of people who are separated and
they're like in whole relationships with other people. And that's
what the confusing to me, you know, as a married person,
and not that I'm thinking about divorce, but it's just like,
aren't you still married?
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Doesn't that still mean something? You know? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I feel like if you're separated, that means that you're
not you know, seeking other people, You're not open to
other people. It means you're still trying to figure out
what you're currently in, uh, without outside influences. And so,
like you said, Cherrell, when people like don't take it
seriously and y'all aren't seeing out of eye and aren't
(20:37):
in agreeance on what this time is for, then I
see it creating a bunch of issues. And then like
when you're just dating and you want to take a break,
I don't know, I feel like that's kind of like
a cop out, like do you want.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
To be with me or not?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
You know what I'm saying, because we not married, so
you don't got to be here, you know what I'm saying,
ain't nobody holding a gun to your head, So what
do you mean you need a break? So if we're
just dating and you know you want a break from me,
I feel like that's really like a comp out because
at this point, if we're just dating, I feel like
(21:13):
there are things that we can really work on and
decide on and you know, talk about without having to
just completely break.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Away from each other now.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
And then if there is and if if the problems
are big, then let's just break up and call it a.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Breakup, but not a break. I'm not gonna say it.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
I'm gonna take a break from you and come back like, no,
we're about to break up, and whatever happened happened, you
know what I'm saying. If we find our way back
to each other, cool, and if we don't, we don't.
But I feel like when you put when you say
it's just a break, it just cloud it makes it cloudy.
It's like a gray area, and I don't need the
point y'all, Like we're just dating and now we're not.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Just call it what it is. Yeah, that's how. That's
what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
They can get tricky, whether I mean and I get again,
I get the period of the like in a marriage,
you know, when you're definitely on this paperwork. There's all
these things like that are very very much serious relationships too,
because you'll get to a point where you're like, are
we gonna proceed and move forward or are we not.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Gonna be together? So it's like that too.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
If you're in a serious relationship with someone, you're like,
we need to take time for ourselves, we need to
think about I need a heal I need a healing space,
or I need this whatever. But it's definitely tricky because again,
you're starting to if you're not working on yourself or
whatever the common goal is and not communicating what exactly
this separation is, what's the goal? What are we doing
(22:43):
communicating throughout? Then you really are you should? You should
really not be together? Yeah, just making a clean break,
and y'all just go, y'all separate ways and do.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Y'all think that way.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
It ain't no confusion, it ain't no great areas. Nobody's
confused about anything. We are not together and leave it
at that.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
That's all. Carry on, Yeah, ever happens sounding.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Yeah, all right, So if anybody in the chat has
any ideas on that, let us know, are y'all watching.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
The chat right now? I can't see the chat right now. No,
if you're watching it, I have a delay. All right, boom,
let's move on. Then it's time for Humble Batty's mail.
All right, Cheryl, I think you got it this time.
(23:47):
I take it over Ashley.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
All right, hey, Humble Batties.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
First of all, I'm obsessed with y'all, the energy, the realness,
the laughs, everything, and Alexis girl, you always say exactly
what I need to hear.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
I love your aura. Oh well that's so sweet. Okay,
So let me get a little vulnerable here.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
I'm a mama up to now, just have my second
baby with my hobby of five years, and I'm tapped
out between breastfeeding, chasing toddlers, trying to be a boss
at work, and keeping the house clean and making sure
nobody's getting goldfish off the floor. Sex is literally the
last thing on my mind. But I know my man
(24:35):
wants to have sex. So my question is, how do
you keep that sexy spark alive after kids when your
body and brain just ain't in the mood. Did y'all
go through this too? Is this a season? Or should
I be worried. Please help love y'all.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Or you should be worried. You should be worried.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
The reason why I say this is because if not,
you're not giving it to him, He's gonna go ahead
and find it some where animals.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Trust me.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
That's why our previous conversation we said, you gotta take
time and make sure you are good first so that
your family can be good.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
And I'm gonna need you to figure out what it is.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Take a break, you know five family support, to get
the kids and get yourself together. Go find you some
sexy lusure, great girl, and go make some spark in
the bathroom with your man. Since is tired, Cherale, since
is tired. I'm okay with her taking a break, you
know whatever. But guess what, we have to give ourselves
(25:35):
grace too. And unfortunately men can't have kids, and we
have to verbalize that and communicate that she has two babies.
What she said, within five years, your body, in your
mind and your spirit everything is not elasts, not five years.
It's not that hard, That's what I'm saying. That's why
it's been five years since they've had no not five
(25:57):
years since they had sex. But the kids it's you know,
five years. They probably like three five now. She said,
she's a mama too and just had her second baby,
had five years.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
See they've only been together for five years. She need
a little get some spark peels.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Then no, no, all right, I feel like go ahead, Okay,
So I feel like I have been through this, Like
there was a time when I feel like I was
just too tired to have sex. Like I feel like
there was a time where I have been to whatever,
(26:40):
too tired, to hormonal, to just over sensitize.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Is that the word, like over exerted herself.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Just yes, Like I just there was a time, you know,
when my kids were younger, when I just it was
just too much, you know. And by the end of
the night when I got into bed, all I wanted
to do was go to sleep, And of course my
husband was looking at me like what did you doing?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
You know?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
And it did cause tension in my relationship, and I
did feel like a horrible wife, and I did feel
the pressure and the guilt and all the things that
come with that.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
It's like I'm a wife, I'm supposed to be doing
this for my husband, you know, but I'm a mom now,
so I need to be able to do this.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
And you know, it's.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Like all of these things that you're trying to keep
up with as a new mom and a wife, and
it gets overwhelming sometimes. And it's not just the oh,
just go take a pill to make you get in
the mood. It's literally physically I can't do it. And
I've been to the point where I would do and
(28:01):
it's not good, you know, because I don't want to
do it, you know what I mean. And so I
can totally understand where she didn't say her name, but
I understand where she's coming from because I have been there,
and resolution though she's asking.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
For I am, I'm getting there. I'm getting there. I'm
getting there.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
I'm just saying I don't think it's as easy as
just getting over it, and just just because I think
like he's gonna go and be with somebody else my
solution first of all, and just looking back, not saying
that this is what I did. But if I'm going
to give advice, I would say, you have to sit
(28:48):
down and talk to him about what you're feeling physically
and emotionally, because for rest, men don't know, they don't know,
they don't know what it takes out of a woman
to be a new mom, to be brather feeding, like
have a sea section and be breastfeeding, like physically I
couldn't have sex like it still was taxing on me.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
And men just don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
You know. They we think, you know, they can read
our minds sometimes, but they literally just don't know how
physically taxing breastfeeding being your baby's primary source of food
is tiring and taxing. You have to be your maybe
twenty four to seven. That's a lot to you know,
to bear. So one is having a conversation with him
(29:37):
and letting him know like, Babe, I physically can't you know,
be there for you sexually like I was in the past,
because currently my body is being used as a vessel
as a source of food for our child right now,
and it's taken so much energy out of me.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
You know, they need to know, like what we're going through.
They don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
They don't know nothing about breast speeding, they don't know
nothing about keeping a baby.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
In all of that. So it's a conversation one.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Two I think, you know, having that mentality of oh,
he's gonna go get it from somebody else if I
don't do it is not the best mentality to have,
Like we shouldn't just jump to that thought because that
will just send us down a spiral of whatever, Like
we don't need to be thinking like that, Like, let's
(30:27):
not jump to that, okay.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
And secondly, I would just say, you know, find.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Ways to give somebody else the duties that you have.
So if it's you know, the washing clothes and laundry, like,
let somebody else take care of that for you. You
have to find ways to get the help you need
so that you aren't as highed, you aren't as overwhelmed
and overloaded with whatever's going on. But that again, that's
(30:59):
a you know, that goes into being vocal about what
you need, so you know, I mean, and also remember
that this is only a short time frame and that
this is gonna pass. Yeah, and telling and having that
conversation with him, just let him know like, look, babe,
this is only for this amount of time, Like I'm
not always gonna be tired like this. Let's find out
(31:21):
let's find a time when I am less.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Tired even now.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Now, Bill, No, I'm a warning girl, Okay, hit me
in the morning because at night I you know, just
want to get into bed, cut on and go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
But in the morning I'm ready to go. So it's
just having conversations.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
I feel like can really you know, set you up
for success just being vocal about your needs need it
like getting the help that you need.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
You know, everybody doesn't have a village.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
You might have to pay somebody to come fold your clothes,
you might have to pay somebody to come cook for
you. You might have to pay somebody to come watch the
baby for you so you can have date night. You know.
Now everybody has a village, everybody has their grandma, grandpa,
ever to come help. So you just got to figure
out a way to make it work for you and
be vocal and let him know, like it's not always
(32:09):
gonna be like this. You know, I'm I'm a mom.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
My body is going through all these changes. They really
don't know. They're clueless. So that would be my advice
to this young lady. Yeah, because you know you don't.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Want that mentality. I agree, Ashley, you don't want the
mentality of it's a chore, you know what I mean.
And and unfortunately everyone has needs, but it does have
to be communicated, like look, I'm just overwhelmed right now.
I'm not into it. I mean, you know, we we can.
It's it's better when you're mentally there anyway. You know,
sex is better anyway.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Start fishing. Oh cockroach?
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Yeah, dead god, none of that cockroaching is insane.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
And don't want that. So you know, I don't want that.
But you gotta you gotta listen to your body.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
Though.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
For sure, were and two children within a certain amount
of time, as well as just being married for five years.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
It's a lot.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
You're still learning patterns, you're still learning all these things,
and you got to give yourself grace. But have that
sexy date night, you know what I mean, and it
just really really have communication.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
It is key because no one can read your mind. Like, look,
I'm just not in the mood. I'm overwhelmed.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
And then come up with some come up with some
solutions of how you can not be so overwhelmed and
like divide some of those chores with your man or whatever.
You know, Yeah, I'm communicate telling him that that you're
not in the mood for it, because that that leads
to more problems. I think the biggest thing, like y'all said,
is definitely communication and figuring out ways to relieve the
(33:46):
pressure pressure off you so much as being a newborn mom,
a new mother to a newborn child. It's all about
communication at the end of the the day and figuring
out ways to spice it back up because we become it,
like Ashley was saying, we do become insecured after just
(34:07):
recently having a baby, Like our body change and it's
hard to snap back into that that room, a shape.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
That you were before you had, you know, your child.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
So just figuring out way, what what is the reason
that's making me this. Maybe it's it's my insecurities of
how I look. Maybe it's I'm too tired. Maybe it's
you know, my husband's not helping me.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Finding a solution, find a solution of what it is
and y'all go from there. But girl, still figure out
a way to spice it up, like your man. Just
do a little road for sure, have some fun.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Yeah, and I I like you as yet too. Like
in the morning. It can be other times. Yeah, it
might be in the middle of the day when a
baby's taking a nap.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
You know, you gotta it's different. Once you have babies,
you gotta rearrange things and figure things out like kids
change the whole dynamic. Okay, so y'all might have to
get it in real quick while they Yeah, you gotta
be y'alla be real creative. Okay, it's just it.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Is creative though, you're your creative. But it is just
the season there.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
You know this, this is the time will pass and
things will get better. You just you know, have these
conversations with your partner and you know, y'all just keep
talking about it, be vocal about it, and hopefully y'all
will end up having some good sects soon again.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
And it'll happen. And yeah, we're gonna send We're gonna
send them to you the vines. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
All right, you guys, thank you so much for sending
us your Wholeumble Batty's mail.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
If you have any questions from its advice, make sure.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
You hit us up, follow our Instagram, Humble Batty's Podcast,
subscribe to us on YouTube Humble Batty's Podcast. Thank your
family and your co workers. Y'all know where to find us. Yeah, yes,
all right, y'all. That is it for the Humble Batties
episode tonight. Make sure y'all tune in and write us
(36:28):
at contact at Humblebatties dot com. We love y'all. We'll
see you next time. Thanks for tuning in. You can
follow me at ash three Icole on Instagram and Ashley
You underscond Snapchat.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
What about y'all From Charrell Rosotto Underscore and Cherrell dot
Risotto on Snapchat. I'm still just on.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Instagram at Alexis Underscore dot Amyer find us So no,
only fall, okay, the only thing that's coming soon for
Lex and her feet.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Lex is sexy because my kids are gonna they cribs.
Are like, Mom, your feet are underground.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
No no, no, we might get from that West are
pulling them some dollars.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
All right, y'all, Thank y'all so much for singing in.
We'll see y'all next time. Love you,
Get in my way, never out of my name. It's
been like you one and the more one, so it
is gonna be baby squad. All right, y'all moving on.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We have some questions from the fans that we want
to answer you, all right, So every week we're gonna
start taking questions via our stories. So if you have
a question, make sure to follow us on I g
and ask your questions and our producers will pick five
questions for us to respond to.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
So let's get to it.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
It's only fans really a solid way to make money.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I think y'all out on there receipts money. I'm not
gonna hold y'alls thought about it.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Oh, only you only try to fee I might need
see feet thank you so to speak.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Because when I'm accidentally like showing a story, because y'all
know i'd be in my stories all the time and
my feet happened to be in there, I'm getting the
most random comments like ooh, let me pick a color
for you, let me slide you some money to yeah
my that giving out my my Venmo, my phone number,
(01:32):
but low key no send you as l Gmail something
timesh apt This is cash app like some Apple pay.
The only fans that like that. It sh is, it's
certain things. And then they have I saw this other thing.
I forget what it's called, but they have where there's
(01:54):
guys who want to be cash mules or something something
to this point where they want they want women.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
To drain their bank accounts.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
So they're like, send me some money, send me some money,
and then a minute later, send me some money like
this amount. So thiss just like it's whatever the d
for me getting bread. I'm not comfortable showing, you know,
like nudity or anything like that, but I might, you know,
let let a foot be shown here and there.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I start only fans and he like he was down
with y y'all would make a lot of money. Ashley.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Yeah, I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. We're
gonna go and we're gonna do like I think, like
pictures like but not nude pictures, but like where you
can't really see our faces, like maybe like the sillowetts
of our bodies or something, I don't know, something real
(02:53):
art and classy, you know what I'm saying. Something for
the grown folks just are still very classy, you know,
years especially when I they're back in the gym. You
know what I'm saying, like yeah, mm hmmm, something very
like ladies are showing them they making bread, they making money,
(03:14):
but I don't know what they're doing because they making
millions and I don't know that.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
You know what I'm saying, I might can get a
light bill or something paid with my you know what
I'm saying. Out of gonna be showing all that I
am not to be showing. I am not to be showing.
You know that, then I'll show my feet. I'll be like,
let Andy show my feet. If I show my gonna
they gonna charge me because my feet ugly as hell. See,
(03:44):
they're gonna be like this, we will pay you to
never ever'll go so you ever hear we're sewing.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
We're sewing only fans like who approved this and who
authorized these? This this fak oh okay.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Next question, how long should you be in a relationship
before living together?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Mm hmm how long? And you yeah, it is very situational.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
It's situational if y'all young doing your thing, not even young,
just single, not have no connections like to me, it's
when you have children at home that could be that's
that's tricky. It should be longer obviously because you're now
someone's in your household with your children. But if you
have no attachments or things like that, then't live, you know,
(04:50):
I mean yeah, I feel like yeah, but so I
also know.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I know people you said.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
What I moved in with fell pretty quick, but we
ain't have Lehannah children. And then.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Probably I mean as soon.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I mean, well, I was in college, so as soon
as I graduated, I was at I was limping with him.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
So saying quick like a not after knowing him? How long?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Oh uh, let's see, like six months maybe, And that's
only because I was still at school.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
They probably would have been quirkulent. Yeah, it's situational. I
just feel like if you if.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Y'all clicking and you know, and this is what y'all
gonna do, then you can get to know somebody quicker
that way.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
You know. It's just when you start signing them contracts.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
And them leases and and all that, and you expected
someone to pay bills or that's when you start being pregnant.
Oh yeah, because you're now exactly you got you got time. Yeah,
that's part okay, next question, do you ever have regrets
(06:12):
regrets on how things ended with you and Chad or
I know that question was next? Oh not, y'all, that's
what I did. I had humble baddies. Do you egret?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Question? For therell any regrets? Would you have to regrets about?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
What?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Do you ever have regrets on how things ended with
you and Chad?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
No? I don't dwell on on things like that. I mean,
everything happens for a reason. And you know Chad is
focused on him and I'm focused on me. So it
is what it is.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Period. Cheers U s na than who have asked sex question?
I know?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Okay, all right, next question, what please share with us
your worst date ever?
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Worst dates? Or y'all only have good dates? I asked
a good dates? I don't. I have a bad date story?
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Okay, I have we listening this guy. First of all,
he came in town and it happened to be around
Valentine's Day, but we weren't even like that, so I
was already like he just happened to be in town,
and he was like, you want to go to dinner tomorrow?
And I was like sure, whatever, and not really knowing
(07:59):
it was Valentine's Day. Fast forward, he was like here's
the address of the location and the time was at
five point.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Thirty for dinner.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
I didn't think anything of it too much, only because
i know, like usually with Valentine's Day they have like
you know, seatings and things like that, but like that
was the first seating, so I know it was like
last minute.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Wasn't super intentional.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
But the energy started to be off because it's like
I met him there, which was again fine, I don't
mind driving or getting there on my own just because
I like to exit if I need to. But once
we got there, it was just like the flower petals
were everywhere because it was Valentine's Day and all these lovers,
(08:48):
and I just felt uncomfortable because I'm just like, this
is date one, Like what's going on? You know, It's
just a little much. And then the energy was very
much like trying to show off and like really like
you know, like I'm doing this, I'm doing this, but
I'm like, it's a set menu and it's prefixed and
(09:09):
you're not doing all this kind of stuff. And then
he was on his phone most of the time, transferring
money into his account to pay for the dinner. Oh,
it was on the phone doing it and I was
just like, I was like, what's going on right now?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
And then just on the phone too, so I'm just like,
why are we here? So it just friends. We're friends,
thank you so much. But that was a horrible day
for me. It was horrible and not ended up leaving it.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Like after I he was like, you wan dessert or
anything like that, and They're sending out this heart shaped
chocolate cake and I'm like, it's not giving that, it's
not romantic. This is not what we're doing right now.
This is the wrong place, the wrong day, the wrong everything.
But we're cool now, we're friends.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Like he was able to transfer the funds right and
pay right.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Yeah, but you're calling people to do it. And when
we rolled on the reservation was not in his name either.
That shit that was sh it was It was just
it's just you know, it's weird. It's like Foddy hooked
him up at that last minute. Yeah, it was just tachy.
So it was just a little turn off for me.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
So that was not a good day. Yeah, I would
have walked out that.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
It just was just like I really put him in
that friend zone a sap, you know what I mean.
So I didn't have to walk out. It wasn't like
he was horrible, you know what I mean? And I
know him outside of it, But this was your first
impression to try to date me.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah, I had this.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Dream that I say, I always want to play out
like it's a very dramatic scene in my head. But
I'm married, so I don't know if I ever get
to do it. But I want to, like be at
dinner and what's he phil, I'm gonna do it one day.
He just gonna have to play it long, but he's
gonna say something that makes me so mad or do
something and then I throw the water in his face
(11:06):
and I get up and walk away ballance and I'm
going to follow you out.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
I want him to be like, oh my god, Like
I want it to be a whole like scene, you
know what I'm saying, Like I can just see it
playing out.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Dam why role play should do that? Okay, you know what.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
That's cute coming up too, So I'm gonna say you yeah,
and then we go back to the room and then
we have like makeup sex or whatever.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah, that's cute.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Keep it spiking, Okay, I did, Yeah, right? Next question
in a relationship, is it okay for your boyfriend to
always ask for BJ but never wants to go downstairs.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
You what hell flag? That's a red flag.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I'm an equal participant. I mean, give and take give,
and I don't even let's say, if you're gonna do it,
if I'm doing a great job to you, you better
return the favor. I mean for me, it's a pretty
records that like what like that's just like again, ye
(12:30):
know what I'm saying, like, how are you gonna not
It's not gonna We're not exactly, that's the beginning. They
gotta we were too all for that.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
If you're not going down you Yeah, how old are you? Sir? Childish?
You don't like you don't like girls for real? But
I didn't say that. You're very Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I know this wasn't red flag game, but that was
that's definitely a red flag, big red flag, big flat
all right, last question, y'all you win twenty million dollars,
but you can never.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Be on social media again. Are you taking the money
or you saying no.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I'm hauling ass taking the money and hauling ass.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
I'm getting hog off right now. Yeah, I out of here.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Twenty ms social it's stressful now like you got post
and being relowed in stay on top of it and
respond and engage and keep up with the algorithms, and bitch,
I'm motherfucker's tied.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Okay, Yeah, I'm taking your next morning minute. I can
go to I'm going to go.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Travel to me do some other things, take care of
things that have somebody else run the social media, haven't that? Yeah, Yeah,
there's definitely you can get you honestly, you can give
me a million dollars. You can give me probably right now.
You can probably give me about you. Probably it's a
number way lower that you could give me. You're right
(14:07):
at this point because you're the media, ain't.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
It's real.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
It's becoming a job. It's becoming very much, you know,
a lot. It's a lot, you know, and it's it's
taxing again on your mental and just just all these things.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
So it's it's a lot. It's a lot to maintain.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
It's a lot. Yeah, So we all taken, were taken.
The twenty million we have here taking.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Out my bending Ye fall in ahead the firm, right.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
That was a fun game. So you've got to make
sure you send us your questions. We would love to
answer them.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
That's so fun. Send you a questions. I like that
a lot.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Yeah, all right, let's get into our next topic, which
is should we be taking breaks and relationships? Why a
time apart? It might be the key to growth. I
don't know about that. Taking a break and relationships has
been a topic of controversy for years. Some say it's
(15:09):
a way to refresh and gain perspective, while others think
it's a way to avoid commitments. So do you think
that breaks help a relationship grow or do they just
create a space for problems to fester. What do you
think constitutes a break in a relationship? If it has
to be communication first of all. Now, I'm not going
(15:32):
to say no relationship is perfect. If you have there's
a reason why, Like let's just say in marriage, obviously
there is a reason why there is a separation period
because you want to make sure you're making the right
decision before you pull the plug.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
So I understand that, But it has.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
To be some kind of rules, regulations communication of the separation.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Are you going to be dating other people? Are you
going to be you.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Know, having sexual whatever you know with other people? What
is going to happen? Like, what do you see happen.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
Are you dating?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
What is the point and what is the goal? Like,
what is the goal of the separation? Is it for
us to get back together or to see what else
is out there and see if this is meant to be.
I think it's really tricky when you start having other
people involved in your relationship, especially what you've already established.
It's already hard enough to be committed, so to start
(16:29):
adding all these different energies and adding all this extra
you know, people that are now players in your your
your game, essentially, it becomes super tricky. And you know
what if that person is just one of the one
of the two that are in the relationship is a
lot more you know, social and have more opportunities to
(16:52):
like hang out with other people, go on these dates
and stuff like that, and the other one is not.
They're not able to like have this freedom or this space.
It can get real tricky. I mean, I'm a believer
if you let something go, it comes back. If it
comes back, it's yours. That's how you know, that's the
real thing. But it gets super tricky because now you're like,
are we not supposed to talk to each other as much?
(17:13):
Are we supposed to really break up? Are we really
not together? It is super tricky. I don't even like
daity man that say they're separated. I'm like, you got somebody, Like,
there's still attachment, there's still time attachment, there's still emotional attachment,
there's still all these things because you still have someone
that is really literally in limbo or just waiting their turn.
(17:37):
And I'm not down for that. I feel like it
gets It can get super tricky. But when it comes
to like marriage and separation, before you pull the plug
for divorce, I feel like it could be necessary. I
experience with my past, not this recent relationship. I asked
(18:02):
for a separation to work on each other, thinking that
it would get better. It didn't. Time apart let me
created more. You wanted you, you guys had I don't
mean to cut you off. I just wanted to know
you guys came up with what you thought what separation
should look like or just like when you say separation,
(18:23):
like you were just like, let's not let's feel it
more like really right, it.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Was more like space, so for you to work on you.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Know what caused this, and you know, for me to
deal with with what I need to deal with to
get past it. But what I thought that would be
good the separation for us to work on each other,
It wasn't. It just basically caused more for us to
more separate and go our separate ways. So if if
(18:53):
you both not integrance with what you want and you
don't want to be together, if if y'all are not
on the same page, it can cause a lot of
controversy and can't cause y'all to the port.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
So it's basically what you want.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
A lot of people don't take separation serious when it
comes to relationships because they think, oh, a separation, it's negative.
So this person want to get rid of it. You know,
let me focus on me. You want time apart from me,
Let me focus on me and do me. Instead of
fixing yourself, you jump and go move on and continue
(19:30):
to create that same cycle.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Correct, Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Breaks are a little scary in my mind, Like when
I think about it, it's like we taking this break.
And I was always confused about like separations when people
are separate, like they're married and they go through a separation,
like you know, what is the conversation are y'all saying, like,
you know, let's go out and see if we want
to be with somebody else. Like I never understood that.
(19:58):
I see a lot of people who are separated and
they're like in whole relationships with other people. And that's
what the confusing to me, you know, as a married person,
and not that I'm thinking about divorce, but it's just like,
aren't you still married?
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Doesn't that still mean something? You know? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I feel like if you're separated, that means that you're
not you know, seeking other people, You're not open to
other people. It means you're still trying to figure out
what you're currently in, uh, without outside influences. And so,
like you said, Cherrell, when people like don't take it
seriously and y'all aren't seeing out of eye and aren't
(20:37):
in agreeance on what this time is for, then I
see it creating a bunch of issues. And then like
when you're just dating and you want to take a break,
I don't know, I feel like that's kind of like
a cop out, like do you want.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
To be with me or not?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
You know what I'm saying, because we not married, so
you don't got to be here, you know what I'm saying,
ain't nobody holding a gun to your head, So what
do you mean you need a break? So if we're
just dating and you know you want a break from me,
I feel like that's really like a comp out because
at this point, if we're just dating, I feel like
(21:13):
there are things that we can really work on and
decide on and you know, talk about without having to
just completely break.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Away from each other now.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
And then if there is and if if the problems
are big, then let's just break up and call it a.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Breakup, but not a break. I'm not gonna say it.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
I'm gonna take a break from you and come back like, no,
we're about to break up, and whatever happened happened, you
know what I'm saying. If we find our way back
to each other, cool, and if we don't, we don't.
But I feel like when you put when you say
it's just a break, it just cloud it makes it cloudy.
It's like a gray area, and I don't need the
point y'all, Like we're just dating and now we're not.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Just call it what it is. Yeah, that's how. That's
what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
They can get tricky, whether I mean and I get again,
I get the period of the like in a marriage,
you know, when you're definitely on this paperwork. There's all
these things like that are very very much serious relationships too,
because you'll get to a point where you're like, are
we gonna proceed and move forward or are we not.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Gonna be together? So it's like that too.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
If you're in a serious relationship with someone, you're like,
we need to take time for ourselves, we need to
think about I need a heal I need a healing space,
or I need this whatever. But it's definitely tricky because again,
you're starting to if you're not working on yourself or
whatever the common goal is and not communicating what exactly
this separation is, what's the goal? What are we doing
(22:43):
communicating throughout? Then you really are you should? You should
really not be together? Yeah, just making a clean break,
and y'all just go, y'all separate ways and do.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Y'all think that way.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
It ain't no confusion, it ain't no great areas. Nobody's
confused about anything. We are not together and leave it
at that.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
That's all. Carry on, Yeah, ever happens sounding.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Yeah, all right, So if anybody in the chat has
any ideas on that, let us know, are y'all watching.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
The chat right now? I can't see the chat right now. No,
if you're watching it, I have a delay. All right, boom,
let's move on. Then it's time for Humble Batty's mail.
All right, Cheryl, I think you got it this time.
(23:47):
I take it over Ashley.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
All right, hey, Humble Batties.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
First of all, I'm obsessed with y'all, the energy, the realness,
the laughs, everything, and Alexis girl, you always say exactly
what I need to hear.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
I love your aura. Oh well that's so sweet. Okay,
So let me get a little vulnerable here.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
I'm a mama up to now, just have my second
baby with my hobby of five years, and I'm tapped
out between breastfeeding, chasing toddlers, trying to be a boss
at work, and keeping the house clean and making sure
nobody's getting goldfish off the floor. Sex is literally the
last thing on my mind. But I know my man
(24:35):
wants to have sex. So my question is, how do
you keep that sexy spark alive after kids when your
body and brain just ain't in the mood. Did y'all
go through this too? Is this a season? Or should
I be worried. Please help love y'all.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Or you should be worried. You should be worried.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
The reason why I say this is because if not,
you're not giving it to him, He's gonna go ahead
and find it some where animals.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Trust me.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
That's why our previous conversation we said, you gotta take
time and make sure you are good first so that
your family can be good.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
And I'm gonna need you to figure out what it is.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Take a break, you know five family support, to get
the kids and get yourself together. Go find you some
sexy lusure, great girl, and go make some spark in
the bathroom with your man. Since is tired, Cherale, since
is tired. I'm okay with her taking a break, you
know whatever. But guess what, we have to give ourselves
(25:35):
grace too. And unfortunately men can't have kids, and we
have to verbalize that and communicate that she has two babies.
What she said, within five years, your body, in your
mind and your spirit everything is not elasts, not five years.
It's not that hard, That's what I'm saying. That's why
it's been five years since they've had no not five
(25:57):
years since they had sex. But the kids it's you know,
five years. They probably like three five now. She said,
she's a mama too and just had her second baby,
had five years.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
See they've only been together for five years. She need
a little get some spark peels.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Then no, no, all right, I feel like go ahead, Okay,
So I feel like I have been through this, Like
there was a time when I feel like I was
just too tired to have sex. Like I feel like
there was a time where I have been to whatever,
(26:40):
too tired, to hormonal, to just over sensitize.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Is that the word, like over exerted herself.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Just yes, Like I just there was a time, you know,
when my kids were younger, when I just it was
just too much, you know. And by the end of
the night when I got into bed, all I wanted
to do was go to sleep, And of course my
husband was looking at me like what did you doing?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
You know?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
And it did cause tension in my relationship, and I
did feel like a horrible wife, and I did feel
the pressure and the guilt and all the things that
come with that.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
You know.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
It's like I'm a wife, I'm supposed to be doing
this for my husband, you know, but I'm a mom now,
so I need to be able to do this.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
And you know, it's.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Like all of these things that you're trying to keep
up with as a new mom and a wife, and
it gets overwhelming sometimes. And it's not just the oh,
just go take a pill to make you get in
the mood. It's literally physically I can't do it. And
I've been to the point where I would do and
(28:01):
it's not good, you know, because I don't want to
do it, you know what I mean. And so I
can totally understand where she didn't say her name, but
I understand where she's coming from because I have been there,
and resolution though she's asking.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
For I am, I'm getting there. I'm getting there. I'm
getting there.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
I'm just saying I don't think it's as easy as
just getting over it, and just just because I think
like he's gonna go and be with somebody else my
solution first of all, and just looking back, not saying
that this is what I did. But if I'm going
to give advice, I would say, you have to sit
(28:48):
down and talk to him about what you're feeling physically
and emotionally, because for rest, men don't know, they don't know,
they don't know what it takes out of a woman
to be a new mom, to be brather feeding, like
have a sea section and be breastfeeding, like physically I
couldn't have sex like it still was taxing on me.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
And men just don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
You know. They we think, you know, they can read
our minds sometimes, but they literally just don't know how
physically taxing breastfeeding being your baby's primary source of food
is tiring and taxing. You have to be your maybe
twenty four to seven. That's a lot to you know,
to bear. So one is having a conversation with him
(29:37):
and letting him know like, Babe, I physically can't you know,
be there for you sexually like I was in the past,
because currently my body is being used as a vessel
as a source of food for our child right now,
and it's taken so much energy out of me.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
You know, they need to know, like what we're going through.
They don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
They don't know nothing about breast speeding, they don't know
nothing about keeping a baby.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
In all of that. So it's a conversation one.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Two I think, you know, having that mentality of oh,
he's gonna go get it from somebody else if I
don't do it is not the best mentality to have,
Like we shouldn't just jump to that thought because that
will just send us down a spiral of whatever, Like
we don't need to be thinking like that, Like, let's
(30:27):
not jump to that, okay.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
And secondly, I would just say, you know, find.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Ways to give somebody else the duties that you have.
So if it's you know, the washing clothes and laundry, like,
let somebody else take care of that for you. You
have to find ways to get the help you need
so that you aren't as highed, you aren't as overwhelmed
and overloaded with whatever's going on. But that again, that's
(30:59):
a you know, that goes into being vocal about what
you need, so you know, I mean, and also remember
that this is only a short time frame and that
this is gonna pass. Yeah, and telling and having that
conversation with him, just let him know like, look, babe,
this is only for this amount of time, Like I'm
not always gonna be tired like this. Let's find out
(31:21):
let's find a time when I am less.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Tired even now.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
Now, Bill, No, I'm a warning girl, Okay, hit me
in the morning because at night I you know, just
want to get into bed, cut on and go to sleep.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
But in the morning I'm ready to go. So it's
just having conversations.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
I feel like can really you know, set you up
for success just being vocal about your needs need it
like getting the help that you need.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
You know, everybody doesn't have a village.
Speaker 2 (31:48):
You might have to pay somebody to come fold your clothes,
you might have to pay somebody to come cook for
you. You might have to pay somebody to come watch the
baby for you so you can have date night. You know.
Now everybody has a village, everybody has their grandma, grandpa,
ever to come help. So you just got to figure
out a way to make it work for you and
be vocal and let him know, like it's not always
(32:09):
gonna be like this. You know, I'm I'm a mom.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
My body is going through all these changes. They really
don't know. They're clueless. So that would be my advice
to this young lady. Yeah, because you know you don't.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Want that mentality. I agree, Ashley, you don't want the
mentality of it's a chore, you know what I mean.
And and unfortunately everyone has needs, but it does have
to be communicated, like look, I'm just overwhelmed right now.
I'm not into it. I mean, you know, we we can.
It's it's better when you're mentally there anyway. You know,
sex is better anyway.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Start fishing. Oh cockroach?
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Yeah, dead god, none of that cockroaching is insane.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
And don't want that. So you know, I don't want that.
But you gotta you gotta listen to your body.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
Though.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
For sure, were and two children within a certain amount
of time, as well as just being married for five years.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
It's a lot.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
You're still learning patterns, you're still learning all these things,
and you got to give yourself grace. But have that
sexy date night, you know what I mean, and it
just really really have communication.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
It is key because no one can read your mind. Like, look,
I'm just not in the mood. I'm overwhelmed.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
And then come up with some come up with some
solutions of how you can not be so overwhelmed and
like divide some of those chores with your man or whatever.
You know, Yeah, I'm communicate telling him that that you're
not in the mood for it, because that that leads
to more problems. I think the biggest thing, like y'all said,
is definitely communication and figuring out ways to relieve the
(33:46):
pressure pressure off you so much as being a newborn mom,
a new mother to a newborn child. It's all about
communication at the end of the the day and figuring
out ways to spice it back up because we become it,
like Ashley was saying, we do become insecured after just
(34:07):
recently having a baby, Like our body change and it's
hard to snap back into that that room, a shape.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
That you were before you had, you know, your child.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
So just figuring out way, what what is the reason
that's making me this. Maybe it's it's my insecurities of
how I look. Maybe it's I'm too tired. Maybe it's
you know, my husband's not helping me.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
What is it?
Speaker 2 (34:31):
Finding a solution, find a solution of what it is
and y'all go from there. But girl, still figure out
a way to spice it up, like your man. Just
do a little road for sure, have some fun.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Yeah, and I I like you as yet too. Like
in the morning. It can be other times. Yeah, it
might be in the middle of the day when a
baby's taking a nap.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
You know, you gotta it's different. Once you have babies,
you gotta rearrange things and figure things out like kids
change the whole dynamic. Okay, so y'all might have to
get it in real quick while they Yeah, you gotta
be y'alla be real creative. Okay, it's just it.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
Is creative though, you're your creative. But it is just
the season there.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
You know this, this is the time will pass and
things will get better. You just you know, have these
conversations with your partner and you know, y'all just keep
talking about it, be vocal about it, and hopefully y'all
will end up having some good sects soon again.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
And it'll happen. And yeah, we're gonna send We're gonna
send them to you the vines. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
All right, you guys, thank you so much for sending
us your Wholeumble Batty's mail.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
If you have any questions from its advice, make sure.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
You hit us up, follow our Instagram, Humble Batty's Podcast,
subscribe to us on YouTube Humble Batty's Podcast. Thank your
family and your co workers. Y'all know where to find us. Yeah, yes,
all right, y'all. That is it for the Humble Batties
episode tonight. Make sure y'all tune in and write us
(36:28):
at contact at Humblebatties dot com. We love y'all. We'll
see you next time. Thanks for tuning in. You can
follow me at ash three Icole on Instagram and Ashley
You underscond Snapchat.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
What about y'all From Charrell Rosotto Underscore and Cherrell dot
Risotto on Snapchat. I'm still just on.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
Instagram at Alexis Underscore dot Amyer find us So no,
only fall, okay, the only thing that's coming soon for
Lex and her feet.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Lex is sexy because my kids are gonna they cribs.
Are like, Mom, your feet are underground.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
No no, no, we might get from that West are
pulling them some dollars.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
All right, y'all, Thank y'all so much for singing in.
We'll see y'all next time. Love you,
Hosts And Creators
Ashley Wheeler
Alexis Stoudemire
Sharelle Rosado
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