Some amazing things can happen when you believe in yourself, and that's what Brianna Wiest — author of the new book The Life That's Waiting — is here to talk about today. Brianna's perspective on personal betterment and the power of self-belief is so valuable, providing helpful tips in this week's episode on how to conquer the hurdle of self-doubt and embrace your flaws to get to the next level. Plus: Brianna talks about how writing saved her life, the biggest challenges about working with a smaller publishing company, and how it feels to share her inner-most thoughts and work with millions.
SOCIAL
OFFERS
LMNT | Head to DrinkLMNT.com/Hurdle to get a free sample pack.
BROOKS | Head to BrooksRunning.com to check out the Glycerin 22
JOIN: THE *Secret* FACEBOOK GROUP
SIGN UP: Weekly Hurdle Newsletter
JOIN: The Daily Hurdle IG Channel
ASK ME A QUESTION: Leave me a voice message, ask me a question, and it could be featured in an upcoming episode!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Find your people and let them inspire you and encourage
you and remind you that you are not going to collapse.
You know, at the presence of any one challenge coming up,
you're so much bigger than that.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hey, Hurdlers, Emily Vadi. Here you are listening to episode
two hundred and forty seven of Hurdle, a wellness focused
podcast where I talk to inspirational people about everything from
their highest ties and toughest moments to essential tips on
how to live a healthier, happier, more motivated life. We
all go through our fair share of hurdles. My goal
(00:54):
through these discussions is to empower you to better navigate
yours and move with intention so that you can towards
your own big potential and of course have some fun
along the way. For today's episode to forty seven, I
am chatting with author and self care advocate Brianna Weis.
(01:17):
She's got a new book out. It is called The
Life That's Waiting. And to tell you that I was
anxiously anticipating, I won't even say waiting, for anticipating this
conversation would be the biggest understatement I this year. Every
morning and reading a page from Brianna's book, The Pivot Year,
(01:39):
which is a book that features three hundred and sixty
five daily meditations, and I'll use her words on finding
the courage to become who you've always wanted to be
end quote. I have, gosh just so appreciated Brianna's words
and wisdom as I have come into my own, and
(02:00):
I am really feeling so inspired by her words this year,
and so I was honored that she took the time
to sit down with me for Hurdle to share some
of her goodness with all of you. Brianna talks about
her upbringing and the journey that has gotten her to
this point of being in a place where she feels
(02:20):
confident enough to share her words and her writing with
the world. We talk about the importance of the inputs
in our life and how it is so so important
to make sure that you are only taking criticism from
those that you would seek advice from.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Super important there.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
We also talk about the hurdles that Brianna has faced
within writing, of what it was like for her to
expose herself to so many people from the get go,
and how she feels that it is so important that
regardless of what arena, and I use that word very specifically,
that you are in you open yourself to learning from
(03:05):
individuals in others, regardless of what arena that may be. Again,
this was such an impactful, I say that, very purposefully
impactful conversation for me, and I so appreciate being able
to sit down with Brianna in the midst of launching
this new book.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Again.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
The new book is called The Life That's Waiting. The
book that I'm reading right now is called The Pivot Year.
Other amazing texts that she has written, one hundred and
one essays that will change the way that you think
the mountain is you.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
We talk about all of them today.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Make sure you're following along with Hurdle over on social
It's at Hurdle podcast and me over at Emily a
Body And if you're not yet subscribed to our substack
over at the Weekly Hurdle. The link to do that
is in the show notes. With that, let's get to it.
Let's get to hurdling. Today, I have the privilege of
(04:13):
sitting down with Brianna Weist. She is a best selling
author of so many books. I'm sure you're familiar with
one hundred and one essays that will change the way
you think. The Pivot Year, the Mountain is you and
the newest added to the collection, the Life That's Waiting,
which is out now.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Welcome to hurdle, Brianna. How are you so good?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
I am so excited to have you here.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I for context, am reading the Pivot Year right now,
and the subtitle on that one is three hundred and
sixty five days to become the person you truly want
to be. Would you say that you are in the
act of becoming that person? Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, it's been like going on from mo more than
three hundred and sixty five days, So it's been us.
This has been like a decade and a half long,
probably honestly journey. If I could call it that, I
think where I think that word gets overused, but that's
really what I want to call it. I feel like
I am always trying to inch toward what is true
(05:19):
to me, always trying to create from a place of
what And I believe that across the board we are
our own first slip miess test, especially when we're creating something,
so it has to be real for us first in
some way, because it's like if we consider the audience,
the reader, you know, whoever is you know, in front
of us, before we consider ourselves. It tends to have
(05:42):
an emptiness to it, do you know what I mean?
It hasn't been imbued with something real. And I've felt
and experienced you know, writing music, you know, whatever it
is when I can tell that that artist, you know,
there was something real for them in that moment, like
there there was a piece of them in it, and
how much I'm impacted by that and how much it's
(06:04):
changed me and inspired me and influenced me, and it's
like my dream to hopefully be that for other people.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
When did writing first feel very real for you?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Oh? Yeah, So I started doing it in my late
teens teens, and then I was actually a writing major
in college. And this is a really great true story
that I was. So my major was technically called professional writing.
So we kind of did like, you know, like some
ja school stuff, like like some marketing set, you know,
(06:41):
kind of like ways in which writing would you know,
exist in the workplace kind of stuff. And there were
options to do creative writing classes and I refused to
take them because I was literally too embarrassed to have
to like get up in front of the class and
like read my work periodically throughout the semester, which I
use which had to do, and I truly felt like
(07:02):
I had nothing good to say I and everything I
wrote was terrible and I just couldn't do it. I
was like, no, I like I have nothing to share,
Like I'm just like too mortified. I absolutely cannot, Like
this is terrible, and so like the irony of like
what I like do now every day of my life
is like not lost on me truly. So I think
(07:24):
that like professionally speaking, after college and like I wanted
to go into editing or writing. It felt real to
me then, like as like a profession, like I didn't.
I think that some people have really kind of a
journey they go on to feel comfortable calling themselves an
artist or writer. Those are words that not everyone feels
that they can just like. But I didn't really have
(07:45):
that problem because I really was like working as that
so it just felt natural, like to be writer. But then,
you know, simultaneously, I was kind of you know going
on my own you know, personal growth, self reflective, you know,
process of you know becoming as so many of us
are at that age. But then you know, forever more
(08:07):
and I start, you know, sharing a lot of that writing,
and that's when things got real, you know what I mean.
Like at the beginning, it was like a few people
read it were like, oh nice, you know what I mean?
That was kind of it.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Then I can start up pick up.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
And you like, you don't go in with a contingentcy listen,
Okay if you go into writing anything like, you're not
going in being like, oh like definitely a million people
are going to read this Like that's not anywhere you're
like going and thinking, I hope one person, but you
know what I mean, like, there's not like you're like that,
(08:46):
I'll take it, you know what I mean? Like if
if one or two people like this, if I helped
one person, okay, great, you have no contingency plan for
this many people like reading kind of your innermost thoughts.
I can't I really can't think about it too hard.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
There's a lot to unpack here. The first thing though,
is I love what you said. I felt like I
had nothing good to say, regardless of interest, field, profession,
et cetera. That feeling of I'm not good enough, I
don't have this level of worth. I don't have something
new to say, no fresh perspective. Those assumptions are what
(09:26):
ultimately hold them back.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
So for you, you began to dabble.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
On your own and developed a certain level of confidence
that empowered you to say, Okay, well maybe I'm willing
to try it.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Would you agree?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah? I mean that was so well summarized. And also,
I think the other thing that held me back that
I think a lot of people struggle with is I'm
not special, doe know. I mean like I'm not that interesting,
Like I'm not that smart. I'm not but you know,
I don't know, like I was just not like I
(10:03):
didn't really have that And I don't even mean it
in a bad way. It was just at the time,
I was just like, I don't know, Like to me,
people who do creative things like that are like, I
don't know, like intriguing people, just like I don't.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Know, everyone that we look for these days that is
some sort of person of intrigue started off as someone
that felt that way, right, And so it's just getting
to a point where you have enough self belief that
you can say why not me?
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Right?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Well, I you know, something that really helped me get
over it is I thought about my heroes, my idols,
you know, like the people that I looked at were like, oh,
like if I could do one fiftieth of what you've done,
I mean, like I would die happy, like I thought of.
You know, Cheryl Strait is one of my favorite authors,
(10:56):
and you know where she describes herself like self descriptive
of like where she was at in her life when
she started writing, like it was not good, you know
what I mean. And this is not me even making
an assessment, but she writes about the books, you know
what I mean. When she started writing, she was like, look,
I really felt like I had to do it. But
also my life was in pieces. I was. You know,
(11:17):
she talks about her drug you just talks about being
you know, financially unstable, you know, losing her mind and
all of these things that were going on. There was
nothing happening in her life that would kind of like
qualify her to become this extraordinary artist that she is today.
The only difference is that she did it. That's it.
She showed up and she did it. She did the
(11:37):
damn thing. That's it. That's seriously, that is what. And
so today I think of her as this extraordinary literary
hero of mine. But if I had met her back then,
I'd been like, well, it's my friend Cheryl, for we're friends,
but like, you know what I mean, it's my friend Cheryl,
Like she's struggling, like do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, Also,
Cheryl straight, if you happen to listen, I will feel
(12:00):
like I'm at the mountaintop one. I love you to
call me.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Rihanna wants to chat with her literary idol.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
I love you. But I really think that there's something
so freeing about coming into that place though. Of if
you think of the people you most look up to,
you start to kind of realize, oh, like they just
did they did it. They just showed up and they
did it, and they kept doing it. And in spite
of those doubts, in spite of I think, in many
(12:34):
cases a lack of maybe self confidence or self belief.
I don't I think those things are built. I don't
know that we start with them, and so at the
beginning we're looking for them, like, Okay, when I feel confident,
I'll start It's like no, but that confidence is going
to build as you keep moving. So what you were
saying too about you know, I start, I'm just like,
I have literally nothing good to say. When I really
(12:55):
started writing, I wasn't trying to say anything to anyone else,
and that was why I was able to walk through
the doorway. And I really mean it. It's like I
was genuinely this was something I was doing for me.
I loved this, do you know what I mean? Like
for better or for worse, Whether one person read it
or a million, I didn't care, Like it was not
(13:16):
even I wasn't even thinking that way. It made my
life better, It made me better, but it was also
something I loved, and I think that that is the strongest,
most on fire place you can get with anything, which
is like, look, there is no failure here because I
(13:36):
devoted part of my life to the thing I most
loved that made my life full and whole and beautiful.
There's nothing else that has to happen beyond that, and
anything else is graaty, you know what I mean. Like,
but but if the act of doing it can be
so alive and real to you that that's it, that
also tends to be the place when it does actually work.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
I mean, it's conversation of that joy is a win
within itself. Right, So often we gauge our perception of
doing well or doing good to be on what other
people have done, rather than asking ourselves, does the act
(14:19):
of doing this thing bring me joy, bring me purpose,
bring me to a place where I feel fulfilled?
Speaker 3 (14:26):
And it's hard to get there?
Speaker 2 (14:29):
There are other needs, right, Like, you might not feel
like you failed when you began writing, but I'm sure
it wasn't lucrative for you at first.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Oh no, you're like your aspirations are low, you know
what I mean, at that time, You're you're not going
into a thinking, oh, this is it, this is my
ticket to the pig LEI like, you're just no, you'd
pick pretty much anything else under the sun, you know
what I mean, other than this if you wanted. So
it's a lot of you loving it that fuels you
(15:01):
do you know what? Like And it kind of has
to because it really isn't an.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Yeah for a long time.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
But this is a really good compare it like a
note on comparison then, right, because so many individuals might
see someone like you today and think that is what
I want. But also they're just seeing the highlights of it.
They don't think about Okay, like, I think that this
is what I want, so I'm just going to start
(15:26):
doing this.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
But the joy is in the process.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
And if you're not having the joy in the process,
it doesn't matter how glitzy and glamorous and exciting this
mountaintop looks like. You won't get to that place if
you're not enjoying the journey on the way there.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Every essay in my first well the book that got
popular for one hundred and essays, it changed my life
to write it, do you know what I mean? And
then when I had it was first posted online, I
don't know, like a few people read it, like it
was not like a thing like at all, and I
didn't care, do you know what I mean? Like I
just didn't even the fact that anyone read it was
(16:00):
like wow, and also kind of like made me self conscious.
But you know, every part of that was such a deep,
meaningful experience to me. And then you know, on top
of that, it took seven years for that book to
you know, even get I think it was seven or
eight years. And then all at once, I think that
(16:23):
in the Mountains you was like number one and number
two in like seven countries, a much something, and then
all the translations start, and then it was kind of like, Okay,
we're in the arena now, but it was years years
of like not just being consistent, but like a trial
and error. So like there's like two different skill sets.
There's the skill set of writing or creating the thing,
(16:43):
and then there's the skill set of getting it to
the people who want to read it. And it's two
different things, and it's two different parts of your brain
you have to kind of build simultaneously, do you know
what I mean? And also in harmony with one another,
because I think it gets hard to feel proud or
in integrity if they're not in harmony. And I think
(17:04):
that there are so many ways, especially today, you know,
to meet your needs in both arenas, but also to
understand it is a process. It is a seriously, it
is a huge process of trial and error. But I oh,
my gosh, who said Cody Sanchez? I think she had
a video where she was saying, you know her the
(17:29):
with one mentor that she really looks up to and
has helped her so much. She said, you know, what's
the one thing you could say to me? And he
was talking about speed. He was like, because I moved
quickly before anyone else has even gotten a chance. He's like,
I've done it twice, failed once, and I'm already trying
to develop a better way. And that resonated with me
(17:53):
because that speed and that decisiveness is something I feel
I have or I try to have and no, but
I think it comes kind of naturally though, like I
just kind of do it, but like, and it's really
been productive for me. And it also has to come
though with a fearlessness of like I'm going to look
(18:14):
like there's no world in which I'm leaving this earth
not doing this damn thing. Okay, one way or another,
I'm going to keep trying, like and if I fail,
there's a way of even appreciating all the one hundred
failures along the way. You know, I think I've heard
this before too. It's like if you knew you were
twenty no's away from the as, how excited would you
(18:35):
be toing it every now? You'd be like, Okay, one
more down, one more down, keep going because if you
do keep going, like it is inevitable, you will get there.
But you have to adapt, you have to learn, you
have to grow with it, you have to kind of
nurture it. And stay with it and commit to it if.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
You knew you were twenty nos away from Yes, What
a perspective shift, right. I appreciate what you shared about
being afraid at the beginning revealing so much of yourself
through your writing. How did you get over that hurdle
in the pursuit of writing even more and sharing in
(19:12):
a bigger way?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
You know, people ask me this and I don't have
a good answer for it because I don't really know,
and I've thought about it a lot. It just stopped
bothering me one day. I think it was just doing
it over and over again, and then eventually I was
kind of like, all right, I can do this. But no,
it was like a huge fear at the beginning. But
I think it's also been gradual in some ways where
(19:34):
I think that because I know that what I created
and was creating and and creating is in truth, I
find this deep piece in that It's like whether you
like it or whether you don't, whether you read it,
whether you don't, whether you think it's great, whether you
think it sucks. The thing that I feel I can
really rest in is but it was real for me,
(19:56):
you know what I mean? Like that was true for me,
that was the best that I could do at that moment.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
More often than not, if someone is criticizing someone's beginning,
then there is something that they're doing at The person
that is making those judgments is either envious of or
jealous over, or whatever the case may be. That person's
still on the bench and you're in the middle of
the field, right.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yes, one hundred percent. We have to be mindful of
not taking criticism of people. We wouldn't take advice from,
advice from excuse me, and not taking advice from people
we wouldn't want to switch places with advice from people
who who, as you just said, they're on the bench.
You try it. I think I think I said this once,
(20:41):
like a really unhinged like this is years ago. I'm like,
I can't care anymore, but like I remember someone like
ness like your book was done, book was done or something,
And I seriously think I said, like, when you write
a book, and I'll read yours and I'll let you
know what I think, Like, do you know what I mean?
You try it.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I can guarant to you that when that person messaged you,
it wasn't about the book at all.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
It never is It seriously never is. And I think
that when you're dealing with people who are also in
the arena or in a arena of their own lives,
it doesn't have to even be the same thing, but
like they get it. It's like you can either meet
each other eye to eye or like I feel like
ten times out of ten, there's an incredible amount of support,
(21:26):
like wisdom, shared advice given, like I have felt nothing
but genuinely like encouraged and supported if you're even just trying,
Like you can recognize someone else who's trying, and then
you hold that like space for them of like hell, yeah,
get after it.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Yet after it now so many books.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
In reflecting on that first book, do you remember the
yes that you got that turned that book into a reality.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Yeah, But I'm with an independent publisher and so it
was like a very like small production and like that,
and my first three were more experimental than anything. Honestly,
it was thrilling to be able to do it, but
it kind of went in with the understanding that, you know,
(22:13):
I had to just kind of be grounded and realistic
of what would come of it. And I think that
sometimes we go in thinking like Okay, like I tried
this once or I had this mustered up this much
courage to do this, like this has to be the
thing that's successful, this has to be the thing that
does it that changes my life. But for me, it
(22:35):
was the process of writing more and more books that
I figured out like how to even do it.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
But I'm sure that when you went into writing those
first handful of books that you had a preconceived notion
that it should be a different way than you were
going about it now.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Absolutely, Being like in the industry and on the back
end for as many years as I have been, you
have such a different perspective on life, like everything, do
you know what I mean? Like you're like, oh, okay,
that's why that works this way, or like that's why
this happens this way, or and it's all these technical
things too. It's like, well that's why this is stopped here,
(23:10):
that's why we're having an issue here, or this is
why we like have to be on Amazon. Before you're
in it, it's you don't really get it, and you're
really a grant. I understand, we're going to do the
best we can.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
What's the biggest learning curve been for you?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
The thing that I've learned the most is how to
know what other people will resonate with, which is a
skill more than I think. It's like an ability you
don't do or don't have, and I think that it
applies to pretty much literally like any industry, any profession,
(23:49):
any kind of business, like anything you're trying to do
in life that appeals or in some way has to
interact with other people. Being able to understand that, I
think is like foundational, like fundamental, And I feel like
all of these years have been this huge learning curve.
I notice if I do a post, they like some
(24:11):
fonts over others. They're like, it's the same words, but
like if I really look into it, it's like the
Sarah line on this spont no matter how tiny these
words even are, is easier for the eye to read,
and so like they will sit with it more than
they wouldn't other I mean, it's like, seriously, it's like
little things like that that you maybe wouldn't even think of.
(24:31):
And so I always felt like it was important and
is important for things to come from a place of oh,
this feels empowering, and I want that, like I want
that really badly. Actually, for my readers, which is like
I want I want them to feel empowered and stronger
and like proud of themselves and like inspired.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
What makes you feel empowered, Rihanna.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Having a vision for something, kind of having a dream
for it and then seeing it through. And it's seeing
it through not even the creative process, but seeing it
through the hurdles, seeing it through the challenges, seeing it
through the failures, and not giving up and being willing
to adapt, to change, to meet it, to grow, but
not to give up being with something from the point
(25:18):
where it gets just an idea in your head into
like it's this tangible thing in the world now other
people are experiencing. It's like almost trippy, but it's so
cool and it is so empowering because you realize just
how much power you have.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
I want to kind of exemplify this using your journey
here because someone here is it's so powerful to have
an idea and see it through.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
And I'm so proud of myself that I didn't get
off the path.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
But that doesn't mean that there aren't, as you said,
so many hurdles and obstacles in your.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
Way going down that path.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
What would you say were the biggest obstacles for you
when you began sharing your writing in this world in
this book format, pivoting from where you started with your writing.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
First one that comes to mind is financial. I think, yeah,
because I remember the moment when I seriously knew and
I can't even explain it beyond this. I literally remember
the moment where I was like I meant to stop
doing all this other work, and like I meant to
just pour myself into these books, and like this is
not a supervible pan at the time, Like I did
(26:26):
figure it out, but at the time it was there's
a lot of self tru of no, I will figure
this out. But then the others I think came through
lacking a sense of self and self confidence of like
I'm going to put myself out there in this way,
Like who do I think I am? An author? Do
you know what I mean? Like when I write books,
(26:48):
Like there's the sense of you're kind of positioning yourself
when you're just starting out on anything. You are positioning
yourself as a public figure for you are one. Does
that make sense?
Speaker 2 (27:04):
You're positioning yourself as who you want to be while
you are becoming it.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Yes, because that's the only way you get there. I
have to act as an author would act, and write
as an author would write, and create as because other
that's the only path to it. But it's at those
beginning phases when I'm going from not that to that,
I think I think I at least experienced a lot
of kind of anxiety of people being like are you,
Like are you out of your mind? Like what do
(27:30):
you You're not doing?
Speaker 2 (27:32):
It's highly understandable, though it makes me think about the
saying if you have a body, you're an athlete, But
that doesn't mean that everyone who goes for a run
or goes to the gym identifies in that way.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
But still it is true.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Right, just because you might, for instance, run a mile
and it takes you eighteen minutes, doesn't mean that you're
running any less far than someone who does it in
a ten minutes faster amount of time.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
That's right. Yeah, And it kind of goes back to
what we were saying too about you know, the people we
idolize who we think are our heroes in so many ways,
and it's like, well, who were they before they were
that person? It's like, you know, they were a human
being having their life and experiences. But it's like you
get there by doing, but sometimes it can feel, I
(28:18):
think hard to commit to the doing when your self
concept and your idea of yourself is not that yet,
so it's like you have to shift it alongside.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Yeah, no, I totally understand what you mean. You said
that you ultimately figured it out. When we're talking about
shifting into books. I would love for you to give
us some color on what that process looked like, because
I think that that is such a really beautiful testament
to where your passions laid, where.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Your why was.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
You had such a strong why that you were willing
to do things that you had never done to get
to somewhere that you had never been.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I really anything but words from those books for years, literally,
and I I mean like I went hard. And I
remember at one point I like posted a close friends
story and I was like listen, like to all, oh no,
it wouldn't be close friends at the time, it would
have been public at the time, where I just said it, listen,
(29:19):
like if you are a friend of mine and like
you were not into this like type of writing or whatever,
and you don't want to follow this account anymore, like
please feel free to go. Absolutely no hard feelings like
if this just isn't your thing, like I'm not offended.
I'm just going to let you know that I'm going
to be doing this like a lot. And to me,
that kind of helped ease the transition where I was like, look,
just fyi you guys, like I'm going for this thing,
like you don't, Like, I'm not genuinely not infunded if
(29:41):
you are not into it. It's like, you know, it's
like a genre of any kind of music or writing.
It like if you're not into it, you're not into it.
And that's okay. I've always believed in there was this
the artist's name is escaping me right now, but there's
this quote it's actually in the book, by the way
the piece is put together create a semblance of the whole.
And I really have like lived that and seen and
(30:06):
come to understand the power of that, which is like,
if you show up to the world as a writer,
every single time they experience you, like they start to
think of you that way. And when they start to
think of you that way, they start to treat you
that way. When they're to treat you that way, it's
like all these doors start to open up, Like you
start getting the calls, you know what I mean. Whereas
like if it was you know, every fifth or sixth
(30:28):
time I'm showing up, I'm like in the writer hat.
They perceive it as something I kind of do, so
I'm not as serious about and so I think there's
like a real like art to like how we show
up and where and to whom, and like how consistently
and trust me, I know, to each their own one.
(30:50):
I just mean for my own self, it was showing
up for this like basically come hell or high water,
like NonStop for years and years and years and years
years was the answer.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Taking a break from today's episode to give some love
to my sponsor at Brooks Running, I am ready to
scream it from the rooftops. The new Brooks glycerin twenty
two is one of my favorite staple sneakers in my
current rotation. I did my twelve mile run in it
(31:26):
last weekend. I did some mile repeats in it last
week and it felt so freeing on both. I love
a sneaker understatement that you don't think twice about when
it's on your feet, so I want something that feels
like a second skin. And the glcerin twenty two delivers.
It felt cushioned and distraction free and allowed me to
(31:48):
be really present in my movement. Life is hard enough already.
You don't need a sneaker to add on to the
daily frustrations. Right you want to feel comfortable on your run. Plus,
the double jack card knit upper is like a second skin.
It offers a flexible, accommodating fit that moves with me
(32:11):
regardless of pace. Lastly, got to give some love to
the foam in this shoe. It's DNA tuned nitrogen infused foam,
which I know sounds fancy, but essentially it's made up
of larger cells that help provide plush landings in the
heel and smaller cells in the forefoot which make for
a super responsive toe off.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
Don't just take my word for it.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Get yourself a pair of Brooks glycerin twenty two today
by heading on over to Brookserunning dot com Slash Hurdle
Dash podcast again that is b.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
R O O K s r U n n I
n G dot.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Com Slash Hurdle Dash podcast to grab yourself a pair
of the Brooks glycerin twenty two today. Also got to
give some love to my sponsor at Element the way
I was so excited to hand off an Element bottle
of delicious raspberry electrolytes to my girlfriend yesterday while running
(33:15):
the New York United Half Marathon.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Element.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
You've heard me talk about it before. I'm gonna tell
you why it's awesome again right now. An electrolyte, drink
mix and sparkling water. It's got everything you need and
nothing you don't. Whether it's ninety degrees or twenty degrees outside,
hydration is always important, and it's not just about drinking
water being adequately hydrated. It's about optimizing your bodies fluid ratios,
(33:41):
which depends on so many factors, including the intake and
excretion of electrolytes.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
That's where Element comes into the picture.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
For me.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
It's got a thousand milligrams of sodium, two hundred milligrams
of potassium, and sixty milligrams of magnesium.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
It's the highlight of my personal afternoon routine, midday work break.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Now, of course, I have a deal for you so
that you can try all of my favorite flavors watermelon, raspberry, grapefruit, orange, citrus,
you name it.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Head on over to drink Element dot com.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
That's drink lmnt dot com slash hurdle to get a
free sample back today with your purchase again that is
drink lmnt dot com slash hurdle for a free sample
pack with your purchase today.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
That's so powerful.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
And I'm sitting here, I mean transparently as an individual
that does a lot of things right. I love podcasting,
I love these conversations. I'm also a contributing writer, something
that you are familiar with. I am a certified professional coach,
which you can like into a life coach, and I
love working with women and talking about values and goal
(34:57):
setting and things like this. But by being such a
multi hyphen it, it's almost as though I'm watering down,
albeit unintentionally, so many of my skills.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yeah, and you know, obviously, like there's so much power
and beauty to being a multi hyphenit, so like you know,
that's like and I think that when we become like
our most actualized selves, I think more of us lean
in that direction than not. But there's like a to me,
there's a difference between like what I have going on
in my life and when I'm showing you do you
(35:31):
know what I mean? And I try to be strategic
about that because it begins to form the perception in
It's again, it's not just about how people think of you,
it's how they interact with you. It's like the opportunities
they call you for. Oh my gosh, that had such
a good example of this the other day. So I
don't even post photos of myself for years and years
and years and years and years. It was just the writing.
(35:52):
I was like, I just have to get the writing
out there, and like, I went hard and I don't know,
I posted a phote because I'm trying to like bring
my soul back into it again. And I posted a
photo myself. What I got, I'm not even kidding you.
It was something like seven I forget the number of
requests to speak. And I was so floored by this.
(36:14):
I was like, where is this all coming from? And
it was just from seeing me. And I was like,
but this again is a further testimony and testament I
should say to like when we show up in a
certain way, like it kind of has this like mirroring effect,
do you know what I mean? It's like the most
like have this realization. So it's I think it's more
of a question of like in this part of your
(36:37):
life in this moment, whatever you're trying to build, whatever
you're trying to create, it's like, what do I want
to show up and like expand in my life? And
I think there's like a way to have a beautiful
balance of it. But I just will say that for me,
hyper focusing on that when I get questions about like
work life balance, which I am completely unequipped to answer,
(36:59):
and I I don't have any good answers because I'm like,
I don't know, because the only time things have ever
like truly truly worked for me is when I've been
willing to go into a chapter of not having balance
with it. Do you know what I mean? Where it's like, well,
you know, I'm going to go all into this for
a period of time and obvious doesn't mean neglect your
(37:19):
health and well being helping that, but like you know,
I'm going to go all and I'm going to devote
I'm going to be with this and be about this
and be unwavering in it. And that for me was
always what created the momentum to make it go where
I wanted to go. And then you know, kind of
once things were moving like that, I was like Okay, I
bring other elements of my life back in now. But
even if I'm like leading up to like a book
(37:41):
launch or something like, I will like be very intentional about,
you know, leading with what I want people to respond, Tom.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Have you ever had an experience going all in that
you regretted it?
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Never? But I think it's because I've never gone all
in unless I was sure. It's not something I would
I do or have ever done lightly, And honestly, I
probably dragged my feet.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
On I'm gonna have to go all in next week.
I'm just not ready yet.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Ready yet I would like, yeah, I would kind of
like almost like resist or like self sabotage a little,
just because I was like, am I sure? And I
also I think that's like beautiful too. It's just like,
you know, it's kind of this like testing process of
like are we sure? And I think that's okay. It's
like dating before marriage kind of thing, do you know
what I mean? It's like, it's okay, it's okay to
(38:33):
have that have a testing to make sure you have
this much resolve and certainty before you devote just so
much of your time and resources and energy and life
to something. Do you know what I mean. And there's
so much that all came together to give me the
skills they needed to go all in that I gathered
(38:53):
while I was parsed out on different things, do you
know what I mean? It's like they everything served a
purpose ultimately. But you know, I do know people, though,
who have gone all in on things and have regreded
it pretty consistently. Listen, there's someone I'm not thinking of,
but pretty consistently. It's like not something they thought about
for a long time, you know what I mean. By
(39:13):
the time I was like, okay, I'm all in on books,
like I had published my first one like eight ten
years ago, do you know what I mean? Like it
had been a while of Okay, we're here now.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Yeah, But I really you had really thought about it.
There were a lot of tools that you already had
in your toolbox that you were ready to use to execute.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Yeah. And I don't advocate for or encourage the whole
like starving artist thing, and I don't believe in it.
They don't like it.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
I feel like going all in when you're an author,
it's kind of like when you move to a new city,
Like when I moved to New York City. I was
told that I needed to have six months of a
certain amount of expenses ready at any given moment.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Right. I didn't just move and say I'm going to
figure it out.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
I you know, when I had those six months of
a cushion, was like, Okay, I can now move to
New York City and then I'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
Yes. And for a lot of the many of those
first years, I was doing other things that like pay
the bills, you know what I mean. Yeah, but I didn't.
That didn't even really matter to me. I didn't coher
it into that identity, you know what I mean. Like
it was like whatever pays the bills, don't even care.
It's like the way I want the world to receive
(40:23):
me is as this, because this is where I'm like heading.
And also that like not only is that not a failure,
it's like every person you know, even like the most
successful person you know, like has like a wildly diversified
way of like getting their needs met or like their
investments or whatever it is they have going on. And
it's really for pretty much nobody. It's never just like
(40:44):
one thing. But I think there can be at least
there is for me, a difference between like, you know, well,
here's why I consistently show up versus it's like you
about all these things happening behind the scenes, but not
everything to me is like for the public.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
I understand what you're saying, and I think that it's
how you view what you're sharing and what the purpose
of the share is.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
And how few people, I think, even pause for a
second in their lives whatever they're doing, to be like,
what is my intention with this? Why do you know
what I'm saying. I've had this theory for a while
that we have about thirteen seconds a week of people's
true attention thirteen Yeah, and again there's like I don't
(41:27):
know how I came up with this, but like, over time,
I've just felt this more and more true. So you
know what, someone disproved me, please, but I have always
felt it and I've seen it where it's like you
have about thirteen seconds a week of people's like true
pure attention, Like you have that much time to really
make them notice something, and then past that they can
(41:48):
observe it or experience it that they don't fully connect
with it with that like completeness, and so it doesn't
matter what else you're doing after the thirteen seconds. It's
just a matter of making sure you know what you're
using those thirteen seconds on.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
Yeah, it's an interesting theory.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
The thirteen second approach, so to speak, has been something
in your toolbox that has helped you a mass of
following of over a million people who are now then
converting into fans of these books. You talk so much
about how you are portraying yourself online and what it
(42:27):
is that you are trying to provide from a value perspective,
what it is that people see when they show up
to your corner of the internet. But when you look
in the mirror, Brianna, what do you see looking back
at you.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
I don't see like a writer. I just see like
a person. Like I feel like I see the same
thing that I saw when I was like a kid,
which I think is good. But like I also something
that I've had to work on bridging is cognitive dissonance
between like I still feel like the same person in
(43:03):
a studio apartment twelve years ago who wrote those books,
Like internally I don't feel it, and then there's this
big cognitive dissonance of but the world doesn't see you
that way. Do you know what I mean. So it's
like how I feel and how it's like changed, and
so it takes a little bit of like maturing, I think,
and kind of just like pacing and like meeting the
(43:25):
moment and what things are now. But I just see
someone who's trying. I'm so serious. I'm so I'm actually
so serious. I just really see someone that's like just
it's just trying, Like.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
For real, what's the genuine why?
Speaker 2 (43:45):
What is the thing that kept you writing in the
studio apartment. What is the thing that encourages you to
do that level of maturing so that you can keep
showing up to these words to paper.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Doing it saved and changed my life. Doing it is
my main therapeutic practice. It's how I reframe anything and everything.
Anytime I needed an answer and didn't have it, I
would just make one up. I would just write it
down for myself, and it would change how I felt,
how I was experiencing the world, what I was seeing.
And it's like whether people are reading it or not,
(44:24):
like it doesn't even matter, because it's like the experience
of creating it for myself had had and has such
an impact that it is intrinsically rewarding for me, and
then everything else is just amazing on top of it.
But it's also like it kind of has to be that,
like we were saying, because it's like, not everyone's going to,
(44:47):
you know, meet the book the same way. Sometimes it
takes eight years for them to even know it's out there,
do you know what I mean? So it's like you
have to be so true with it because you know
it's again, like it really is a process.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
When you say it saved you, what do you mean
by that?
Speaker 1 (45:04):
I mean that in a really literal, like mental health way,
but I also mean it in a kind of broader way,
and just I think it saved me from myself, and
I think it saved me from making worse decisions than
I was already making because I was actively trying to
like reframe my mind and think about my future self
(45:29):
more than my present discomfort.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
I'm trying to like put myself in the shoes of
someone who's like hearing you, and you're like, writing helps
save my life and it helped me make better decisions
and all these things, and that sounds so well and good,
but it's not like that happened in any sort of
an immediate time frame. So for someone right now that
is maybe thinking, Okay, I'm looking for solace or I
need to save myself, or I am standing in my
own way, what do you say to them?
Speaker 3 (45:54):
Right?
Speaker 2 (45:54):
Because you had to hold on to something to keep
going when it wasn't happening.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
And I'm going to use air quotes on this fast enough.
Speaker 1 (46:01):
Read and not even my books, seriously, not even mine,
like read because it did happen for me instantly, and
it was through reading other people's wisdom, other people's reframes,
other people's thoughts. That was kind of the original experience.
And then writing was kind of me just taking on
(46:23):
that practice for my own self. But the origin of
it was me finding other people who wrote the way
that I needed and wanted to think. And that's really
what changed my life. And then I just became the
person creating it.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
Yeah, when someone in that vein, they look at you
as this person that's creating the reality or the thought
processes that they too want to adopt. They look at
you maybe and I know this word gets thrown around
a little bit, but as a bit of a guru
of thousands that every morning I get up and I
pick up your book the impact is real and the
(47:05):
impact is there, and when you hear that, what does
that insight within you?
Speaker 3 (47:13):
It makes me laugh someime.
Speaker 1 (47:17):
I was just like so not just that it makes
me laugh, like oh God. But then my mind goes
to what I hope you feel is a friend who
is walking a parallel path or has walked there is
(47:37):
nothing you could go through that at least one other person,
if not many have not gone through some form of
as well. And I know it feels like you know
there's something like wrong with you and only you, and
it's like to realize how much that isn't the case,
(48:00):
like ah, what an exhale, like Okay, we can figure
this out.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
On your journey, you mentioned that there have been so
many hurdles to get you to where you are, to
being in this place where you're just releasing this newest book.
Were there any hurdles in particular that almost hassuaded you
from continuing on the path at all?
Speaker 1 (48:20):
Oh? Yeah, lots, I think the I really think the
biggest and most consistent one over time is the fear
of what other people would think and that their judgment
or perception would dominate over my own and would become
who I am? What if everyone hates me? Do you
(48:43):
know what I mean? Like what I everyone thinks I'm stupid?
Like it's these fears I think held me back more
than anything. And I feel like everyone I talked to
has some version of that as well. It's like it's
like a fear of failure, but like for all various
different reasons we had, like who were disappointing? Who are
we feeling embarrassed in front of? Like the love we
(49:04):
won't get because we're not x y Z. It's like
it comes out in all these different ways, but it's
just that like fundamental like sense of like do I
believe in this? And I'm sure I believe in this
enough to keep going even if I fail. And the
way I kept finding my way back to that yes,
is if this is not for anyone but just for me,
(49:26):
that is enough. It was enough and continues to be
and that's like kept me on it. And you know,
also just you know, not allowing the noise I think
two become your only reality or to fear you know,
(49:50):
what could happen more than just kind of meeting this
moment with your you know, your eyes chest and two
feet on the floor and being like, hey, I can,
I am capable, I and yes I'm here. I say, yes,
I'm doing this and I will figure it out one
way or another.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
It reminds me of that line in one hundred and
one Essays, and you wrote, stop asking what am I
doing with my life? And start asking what am I
doing with my life today? It's so challenging to focus
on today.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
Right, No, it really is.
Speaker 3 (50:28):
It is it is.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
And so I mean, practically, as we start to wind
down here, how does someone get better about being in
the present and, as you stated, so beautifully being where
their own two feet are, rather than thinking too far ahead.
Speaker 1 (50:46):
I think that the reason it feels so difficult for
us to just completely let go and be all the
way in the moment is because that's not how we're
actually supposed to be. It's that our dominant focus has
to be in the moment whilst simultaneously kind of gazing
toward the future. And that's what kind of allows us
(51:07):
to make productive, positive choices for our future selves. And
at the same time, in some gentle way connected to
the past, where you're reflecting and gleaning wisdom and insight,
you're learning from mistakes you made you know, you're not
just kind of bulldozing your way through life, but you're
you're taking this wisdom with you, right, You're bringing it
(51:28):
into this moment. But at the same time, you're in
this moment and you're still you know, considering yourself tomorrow,
yourself in five years, yourself at the end of your life.
But at no time are either of those things, you know,
creating a dominance over you being right here and now.
But at least for me, I could say that every
time I've tried to like let go of it, you know,
(51:50):
and just be completely present, I think you almost lose
something sometimes where it's like it's more of like a
weaving of all three. But I think that people get
really stuck in like the future of the past present
feels the easiest to lose because it feels like there's
the least to deal with there. But that's actually where
everything is.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
Yeah, it's an and both scenario.
Speaker 2 (52:13):
And I think that when you get very clear on
who it is that you are, what it is that's
important to you, that allows you to have this filter
where you can be aware of what it is that
you're after for your future self and simultaneously be a
bit more in the moment.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
Yeah, that's exactly right.
Speaker 3 (52:33):
Yeah, yeah, Wow.
Speaker 2 (52:35):
Well, I'm so grateful that we've had this time. There's
so much more that I could sit here and ask you.
But before I let you go, Brihanna, if you had
to offer yourself a piece of advice, let's say, going
back to one of those hurdle moments, as you sat
there and allowed the fear to be what led you
(52:55):
briefly to wonder to yourself, Oh my god, what am
I putting into the world?
Speaker 3 (52:59):
Is what I should be doing?
Speaker 2 (53:01):
If you had to offer yourself a piece of advice,
knowing what you know now going through that hurdle moment,
what would you tell.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
Yourself connect to observe, witness, read about, befriend follow people
who are in their arenas, even if it's not exactly
your own. Because when you are in even a self
generated community where that forward movement is kind of the norm,
(53:31):
it becomes way easier to do. And you know, I
think it's sometimes really challenging to not feel defeated when
you feel like you're the only person. But you're not
the only person. It's just in this particular moment you
feel you will are disconnected from the so so many
(53:53):
others who are doing the same thing. So it's I think,
I think TLDR your people and let them inspire you
and encourage you and remind you. You know that you
are not going to collapse. You know, at the presence
of anyone challenge coming up, you're so much bigger than that.
(54:18):
And it's almost in the process of confronting that that
you realize how much bigger than it you are. But
you would never know if you didn't have the courage
to kind of face it, go through it and realize, oh,
I'm untouched.
Speaker 3 (54:32):
You just have to look at all of the different arenas.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (54:35):
Well, I'm so again so happy that we were able
to do this. For those that aren't following along with
you just yet give us your inbo How do we
keep up?
Speaker 1 (54:44):
We keep up on Instagram at Brianna Waste and my
website Brianimes dot com that has linked to all the
books and stuff.
Speaker 2 (54:52):
The link to all the books and stuff, and of
course again the new book, The Life That's Waiting is
out now. I am over at Emily a Body and
at Hurdle Podcast Another Hurdle Conquered. Catch you guys, next time.
Find your people and let them inspire you and encourage
you and remind you that you are not going to collapse.
You know, at the presence of any one challenge coming up,
you're so much bigger than that.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Hey, Hurdlers, Emily Vadi. Here you are listening to episode
two hundred and forty seven of Hurdle, a wellness focused
podcast where I talk to inspirational people about everything from
their highest ties and toughest moments to essential tips on
how to live a healthier, happier, more motivated life. We
all go through our fair share of hurdles. My goal
(00:54):
through these discussions is to empower you to better navigate
yours and move with intention so that you can towards
your own big potential and of course have some fun
along the way. For today's episode to forty seven, I
am chatting with author and self care advocate Brianna Weis.
(01:17):
She's got a new book out. It is called The
Life That's Waiting. And to tell you that I was
anxiously anticipating, I won't even say waiting, for anticipating this
conversation would be the biggest understatement I this year. Every
morning and reading a page from Brianna's book, The Pivot Year,
(01:39):
which is a book that features three hundred and sixty
five daily meditations, and I'll use her words on finding
the courage to become who you've always wanted to be
end quote. I have, gosh just so appreciated Brianna's words
and wisdom as I have come into my own, and
(02:00):
I am really feeling so inspired by her words this year,
and so I was honored that she took the time
to sit down with me for Hurdle to share some
of her goodness with all of you. Brianna talks about
her upbringing and the journey that has gotten her to
this point of being in a place where she feels
(02:20):
confident enough to share her words and her writing with
the world. We talk about the importance of the inputs
in our life and how it is so so important
to make sure that you are only taking criticism from
those that you would seek advice from.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Super important there.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
We also talk about the hurdles that Brianna has faced
within writing, of what it was like for her to
expose herself to so many people from the get go,
and how she feels that it is so important that
regardless of what arena, and I use that word very specifically,
that you are in you open yourself to learning from
(03:05):
individuals in others, regardless of what arena that may be. Again,
this was such an impactful, I say that, very purposefully
impactful conversation for me, and I so appreciate being able
to sit down with Brianna in the midst of launching
this new book.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Again.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
The new book is called The Life That's Waiting. The
book that I'm reading right now is called The Pivot Year.
Other amazing texts that she has written, one hundred and
one essays that will change the way that you think
the mountain is you.
Speaker 3 (03:41):
We talk about all of them today.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Make sure you're following along with Hurdle over on social
It's at Hurdle podcast and me over at Emily a
Body And if you're not yet subscribed to our substack
over at the Weekly Hurdle. The link to do that
is in the show notes. With that, let's get to it.
Let's get to hurdling. Today, I have the privilege of
(04:13):
sitting down with Brianna Weist. She is a best selling
author of so many books. I'm sure you're familiar with
one hundred and one essays that will change the way
you think. The Pivot Year, the Mountain is you and
the newest added to the collection, the Life That's Waiting,
which is out now.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Welcome to hurdle, Brianna. How are you so good?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
I am so excited to have you here.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I for context, am reading the Pivot Year right now,
and the subtitle on that one is three hundred and
sixty five days to become the person you truly want
to be. Would you say that you are in the
act of becoming that person? Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, it's been like going on from mo more than
three hundred and sixty five days, So it's been us.
This has been like a decade and a half long,
probably honestly journey. If I could call it that, I
think where I think that word gets overused, but that's
really what I want to call it. I feel like
I am always trying to inch toward what is true
(05:19):
to me, always trying to create from a place of
what And I believe that across the board we are
our own first slip miess test, especially when we're creating something,
so it has to be real for us first in
some way, because it's like if we consider the audience,
the reader, you know, whoever is you know, in front
of us, before we consider ourselves. It tends to have
(05:42):
an emptiness to it, do you know what I mean?
It hasn't been imbued with something real. And I've felt
and experienced you know, writing music, you know, whatever it
is when I can tell that that artist, you know,
there was something real for them in that moment, like
there there was a piece of them in it, and
how much I'm impacted by that and how much it's
(06:04):
changed me and inspired me and influenced me, and it's
like my dream to hopefully be that for other people.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
When did writing first feel very real for you?
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Oh? Yeah, So I started doing it in my late
teens teens, and then I was actually a writing major
in college. And this is a really great true story
that I was. So my major was technically called professional writing.
So we kind of did like, you know, like some
ja school stuff, like like some marketing set, you know,
(06:41):
kind of like ways in which writing would you know,
exist in the workplace kind of stuff. And there were
options to do creative writing classes and I refused to
take them because I was literally too embarrassed to have
to like get up in front of the class and
like read my work periodically throughout the semester, which I
use which had to do, and I truly felt like
(07:02):
I had nothing good to say I and everything I
wrote was terrible and I just couldn't do it. I
was like, no, I like I have nothing to share,
Like I'm just like too mortified. I absolutely cannot, Like
this is terrible, and so like the irony of like
what I like do now every day of my life
is like not lost on me truly. So I think
(07:24):
that like professionally speaking, after college and like I wanted
to go into editing or writing. It felt real to
me then, like as like a profession, like I didn't.
I think that some people have really kind of a
journey they go on to feel comfortable calling themselves an
artist or writer. Those are words that not everyone feels
that they can just like. But I didn't really have
(07:45):
that problem because I really was like working as that
so it just felt natural, like to be writer. But then,
you know, simultaneously, I was kind of you know going
on my own you know, personal growth, self reflective, you know,
process of you know becoming as so many of us
are at that age. But then you know, forever more
(08:07):
and I start, you know, sharing a lot of that writing,
and that's when things got real, you know what I mean.
Like at the beginning, it was like a few people
read it were like, oh nice, you know what I mean?
That was kind of it.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
Then I can start up pick up.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
And you like, you don't go in with a contingentcy listen,
Okay if you go into writing anything like, you're not
going in being like, oh like definitely a million people
are going to read this Like that's not anywhere you're
like going and thinking, I hope one person, but you
know what I mean, like, there's not like you're like that,
(08:46):
I'll take it, you know what I mean? Like if
if one or two people like this, if I helped
one person, okay, great, you have no contingency plan for
this many people like reading kind of your innermost thoughts.
I can't I really can't think about it too hard.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
There's a lot to unpack here. The first thing though,
is I love what you said. I felt like I
had nothing good to say, regardless of interest, field, profession,
et cetera. That feeling of I'm not good enough, I
don't have this level of worth. I don't have something
new to say, no fresh perspective. Those assumptions are what
(09:26):
ultimately hold them back.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
So for you, you began to dabble.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
On your own and developed a certain level of confidence
that empowered you to say, Okay, well maybe I'm willing
to try it.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Would you agree?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah? I mean that was so well summarized. And also,
I think the other thing that held me back that
I think a lot of people struggle with is I'm
not special, doe know. I mean like I'm not that interesting,
Like I'm not that smart. I'm not but you know,
I don't know, like I was just not like I
(10:03):
didn't really have that And I don't even mean it
in a bad way. It was just at the time,
I was just like, I don't know, Like to me,
people who do creative things like that are like, I
don't know, like intriguing people, just like I don't.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Know, everyone that we look for these days that is
some sort of person of intrigue started off as someone
that felt that way, right, And so it's just getting
to a point where you have enough self belief that
you can say why not me?
Speaker 3 (10:34):
Right?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Well, I you know, something that really helped me get
over it is I thought about my heroes, my idols,
you know, like the people that I looked at were like, oh,
like if I could do one fiftieth of what you've done,
I mean, like I would die happy, like I thought of.
You know, Cheryl Strait is one of my favorite authors,
(10:56):
and you know where she describes herself like self descriptive
of like where she was at in her life when
she started writing, like it was not good, you know
what I mean. And this is not me even making
an assessment, but she writes about the books, you know
what I mean. When she started writing, she was like, look,
I really felt like I had to do it. But
also my life was in pieces. I was. You know,
(11:17):
she talks about her drug you just talks about being
you know, financially unstable, you know, losing her mind and
all of these things that were going on. There was
nothing happening in her life that would kind of like
qualify her to become this extraordinary artist that she is today.
The only difference is that she did it. That's it.
She showed up and she did it. She did the
(11:37):
damn thing. That's it. That's seriously, that is what. And
so today I think of her as this extraordinary literary
hero of mine. But if I had met her back then,
I'd been like, well, it's my friend Cheryl, for we're friends,
but like, you know what I mean, it's my friend Cheryl,
Like she's struggling, like do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, Also,
Cheryl straight, if you happen to listen, I will feel
(12:00):
like I'm at the mountaintop one. I love you to
call me.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Rihanna wants to chat with her literary idol.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
I love you. But I really think that there's something
so freeing about coming into that place though. Of if
you think of the people you most look up to,
you start to kind of realize, oh, like they just
did they did it. They just showed up and they
did it, and they kept doing it. And in spite
of those doubts, in spite of I think, in many
(12:34):
cases a lack of maybe self confidence or self belief.
I don't I think those things are built. I don't
know that we start with them, and so at the
beginning we're looking for them, like, Okay, when I feel confident,
I'll start It's like no, but that confidence is going
to build as you keep moving. So what you were
saying too about you know, I start, I'm just like,
I have literally nothing good to say. When I really
(12:55):
started writing, I wasn't trying to say anything to anyone else,
and that was why I was able to walk through
the doorway. And I really mean it. It's like I
was genuinely this was something I was doing for me.
I loved this, do you know what I mean? Like
for better or for worse, Whether one person read it
or a million, I didn't care, Like it was not
(13:16):
even I wasn't even thinking that way. It made my
life better, It made me better, but it was also
something I loved, and I think that that is the strongest,
most on fire place you can get with anything, which
is like, look, there is no failure here because I
(13:36):
devoted part of my life to the thing I most
loved that made my life full and whole and beautiful.
There's nothing else that has to happen beyond that, and
anything else is graaty, you know what I mean. Like,
but but if the act of doing it can be
so alive and real to you that that's it, that
also tends to be the place when it does actually work.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
I mean, it's conversation of that joy is a win
within itself. Right, So often we gauge our perception of
doing well or doing good to be on what other
people have done, rather than asking ourselves, does the act
(14:19):
of doing this thing bring me joy, bring me purpose,
bring me to a place where I feel fulfilled?
Speaker 3 (14:26):
And it's hard to get there?
Speaker 2 (14:29):
There are other needs, right, Like, you might not feel
like you failed when you began writing, but I'm sure
it wasn't lucrative for you at first.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Oh no, you're like your aspirations are low, you know
what I mean, at that time, You're you're not going
into a thinking, oh, this is it, this is my
ticket to the pig LEI like, you're just no, you'd
pick pretty much anything else under the sun, you know
what I mean, other than this if you wanted. So
it's a lot of you loving it that fuels you
(15:01):
do you know what? Like And it kind of has
to because it really isn't an.
Speaker 3 (15:04):
Yeah for a long time.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
But this is a really good compare it like a
note on comparison then, right, because so many individuals might
see someone like you today and think that is what
I want. But also they're just seeing the highlights of it.
They don't think about Okay, like, I think that this
is what I want, so I'm just going to start
(15:26):
doing this.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
But the joy is in the process.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
And if you're not having the joy in the process,
it doesn't matter how glitzy and glamorous and exciting this
mountaintop looks like. You won't get to that place if
you're not enjoying the journey on the way there.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Every essay in my first well the book that got
popular for one hundred and essays, it changed my life
to write it, do you know what I mean? And
then when I had it was first posted online, I
don't know, like a few people read it, like it
was not like a thing like at all, and I
didn't care, do you know what I mean? Like I
just didn't even the fact that anyone read it was
(16:00):
like wow, and also kind of like made me self conscious.
But you know, every part of that was such a deep,
meaningful experience to me. And then you know, on top
of that, it took seven years for that book to
you know, even get I think it was seven or
eight years. And then all at once, I think that
(16:23):
in the Mountains you was like number one and number
two in like seven countries, a much something, and then
all the translations start, and then it was kind of like, Okay,
we're in the arena now, but it was years years
of like not just being consistent, but like a trial
and error. So like there's like two different skill sets.
There's the skill set of writing or creating the thing,
(16:43):
and then there's the skill set of getting it to
the people who want to read it. And it's two
different things, and it's two different parts of your brain
you have to kind of build simultaneously, do you know
what I mean? And also in harmony with one another,
because I think it gets hard to feel proud or
in integrity if they're not in harmony. And I think
(17:04):
that there are so many ways, especially today, you know,
to meet your needs in both arenas, but also to
understand it is a process. It is a seriously, it
is a huge process of trial and error. But I oh,
my gosh, who said Cody Sanchez? I think she had
a video where she was saying, you know her the
(17:29):
with one mentor that she really looks up to and
has helped her so much. She said, you know, what's
the one thing you could say to me? And he
was talking about speed. He was like, because I moved
quickly before anyone else has even gotten a chance. He's like,
I've done it twice, failed once, and I'm already trying
to develop a better way. And that resonated with me
(17:53):
because that speed and that decisiveness is something I feel
I have or I try to have and no, but
I think it comes kind of naturally though, like I
just kind of do it, but like, and it's really
been productive for me. And it also has to come
though with a fearlessness of like I'm going to look
(18:14):
like there's no world in which I'm leaving this earth
not doing this damn thing. Okay, one way or another,
I'm going to keep trying, like and if I fail,
there's a way of even appreciating all the one hundred
failures along the way. You know, I think I've heard
this before too. It's like if you knew you were
twenty no's away from the as, how excited would you
(18:35):
be toing it every now? You'd be like, Okay, one
more down, one more down, keep going because if you
do keep going, like it is inevitable, you will get there.
But you have to adapt, you have to learn, you
have to grow with it, you have to kind of
nurture it. And stay with it and commit to it if.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
You knew you were twenty nos away from Yes, What
a perspective shift, right. I appreciate what you shared about
being afraid at the beginning revealing so much of yourself
through your writing. How did you get over that hurdle
in the pursuit of writing even more and sharing in
(19:12):
a bigger way?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
You know, people ask me this and I don't have
a good answer for it because I don't really know,
and I've thought about it a lot. It just stopped
bothering me one day. I think it was just doing
it over and over again, and then eventually I was
kind of like, all right, I can do this. But no,
it was like a huge fear at the beginning. But
I think it's also been gradual in some ways where
(19:34):
I think that because I know that what I created
and was creating and and creating is in truth, I
find this deep piece in that It's like whether you
like it or whether you don't, whether you read it,
whether you don't, whether you think it's great, whether you
think it sucks. The thing that I feel I can
really rest in is but it was real for me,
(19:56):
you know what I mean? Like that was true for me,
that was the best that I could do at that moment.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
More often than not, if someone is criticizing someone's beginning,
then there is something that they're doing at The person
that is making those judgments is either envious of or
jealous over, or whatever the case may be. That person's
still on the bench and you're in the middle of
the field, right.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yes, one hundred percent. We have to be mindful of
not taking criticism of people. We wouldn't take advice from,
advice from excuse me, and not taking advice from people
we wouldn't want to switch places with advice from people
who who, as you just said, they're on the bench.
You try it. I think I think I said this once,
(20:41):
like a really unhinged like this is years ago. I'm like,
I can't care anymore, but like I remember someone like
ness like your book was done, book was done or something,
And I seriously think I said, like, when you write
a book, and I'll read yours and I'll let you
know what I think, Like, do you know what I mean?
You try it.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I can guarant to you that when that person messaged you,
it wasn't about the book at all.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
It never is It seriously never is. And I think
that when you're dealing with people who are also in
the arena or in a arena of their own lives,
it doesn't have to even be the same thing, but
like they get it. It's like you can either meet
each other eye to eye or like I feel like
ten times out of ten, there's an incredible amount of support,
(21:26):
like wisdom, shared advice given, like I have felt nothing
but genuinely like encouraged and supported if you're even just trying,
Like you can recognize someone else who's trying, and then
you hold that like space for them of like hell, yeah,
get after it.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Yet after it now so many books.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
In reflecting on that first book, do you remember the
yes that you got that turned that book into a reality.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Yeah, But I'm with an independent publisher and so it
was like a very like small production and like that,
and my first three were more experimental than anything. Honestly,
it was thrilling to be able to do it, but
it kind of went in with the understanding that, you know,
(22:13):
I had to just kind of be grounded and realistic
of what would come of it. And I think that
sometimes we go in thinking like Okay, like I tried
this once or I had this mustered up this much
courage to do this, like this has to be the
thing that's successful, this has to be the thing that
does it that changes my life. But for me, it
(22:35):
was the process of writing more and more books that
I figured out like how to even do it.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
But I'm sure that when you went into writing those
first handful of books that you had a preconceived notion
that it should be a different way than you were
going about it now.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Absolutely, Being like in the industry and on the back
end for as many years as I have been, you
have such a different perspective on life, like everything, do
you know what I mean? Like you're like, oh, okay,
that's why that works this way, or like that's why
this happens this way, or and it's all these technical
things too. It's like, well that's why this is stopped here,
(23:10):
that's why we're having an issue here, or this is
why we like have to be on Amazon. Before you're
in it, it's you don't really get it, and you're
really a grant. I understand, we're going to do the
best we can.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
What's the biggest learning curve been for you?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
The thing that I've learned the most is how to
know what other people will resonate with, which is a
skill more than I think. It's like an ability you
don't do or don't have, and I think that it
applies to pretty much literally like any industry, any profession,
(23:49):
any kind of business, like anything you're trying to do
in life that appeals or in some way has to
interact with other people. Being able to understand that, I
think is like foundational, like fundamental, And I feel like
all of these years have been this huge learning curve.
I notice if I do a post, they like some
(24:11):
fonts over others. They're like, it's the same words, but
like if I really look into it, it's like the
Sarah line on this spont no matter how tiny these
words even are, is easier for the eye to read,
and so like they will sit with it more than
they wouldn't other I mean, it's like, seriously, it's like
little things like that that you maybe wouldn't even think of.
(24:31):
And so I always felt like it was important and
is important for things to come from a place of oh,
this feels empowering, and I want that, like I want
that really badly. Actually, for my readers, which is like
I want I want them to feel empowered and stronger
and like proud of themselves and like inspired.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
What makes you feel empowered, Rihanna.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Having a vision for something, kind of having a dream
for it and then seeing it through. And it's seeing
it through not even the creative process, but seeing it
through the hurdles, seeing it through the challenges, seeing it
through the failures, and not giving up and being willing
to adapt, to change, to meet it, to grow, but
not to give up being with something from the point
(25:18):
where it gets just an idea in your head into
like it's this tangible thing in the world now other
people are experiencing. It's like almost trippy, but it's so
cool and it is so empowering because you realize just
how much power you have.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
I want to kind of exemplify this using your journey
here because someone here is it's so powerful to have
an idea and see it through.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
And I'm so proud of myself that I didn't get
off the path.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
But that doesn't mean that there aren't, as you said,
so many hurdles and obstacles in your.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
Way going down that path.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
What would you say were the biggest obstacles for you
when you began sharing your writing in this world in
this book format, pivoting from where you started with your writing.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
First one that comes to mind is financial. I think, yeah,
because I remember the moment when I seriously knew and
I can't even explain it beyond this. I literally remember
the moment where I was like I meant to stop
doing all this other work, and like I meant to
just pour myself into these books, and like this is
not a supervible pan at the time, Like I did
(26:26):
figure it out, but at the time it was there's
a lot of self tru of no, I will figure
this out. But then the others I think came through
lacking a sense of self and self confidence of like
I'm going to put myself out there in this way,
Like who do I think I am? An author? Do
you know what I mean? Like when I write books,
(26:48):
Like there's the sense of you're kind of positioning yourself
when you're just starting out on anything. You are positioning
yourself as a public figure for you are one. Does
that make sense?
Speaker 2 (27:04):
You're positioning yourself as who you want to be while
you are becoming it.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Yes, because that's the only way you get there. I
have to act as an author would act, and write
as an author would write, and create as because other
that's the only path to it. But it's at those
beginning phases when I'm going from not that to that,
I think I think I at least experienced a lot
of kind of anxiety of people being like are you,
Like are you out of your mind? Like what do
(27:30):
you You're not doing?
Speaker 2 (27:32):
It's highly understandable, though it makes me think about the
saying if you have a body, you're an athlete, But
that doesn't mean that everyone who goes for a run
or goes to the gym identifies in that way.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
But still it is true.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Right, just because you might, for instance, run a mile
and it takes you eighteen minutes, doesn't mean that you're
running any less far than someone who does it in
a ten minutes faster amount of time.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
That's right. Yeah, And it kind of goes back to
what we were saying too about you know, the people we
idolize who we think are our heroes in so many ways,
and it's like, well, who were they before they were
that person? It's like, you know, they were a human
being having their life and experiences. But it's like you
get there by doing, but sometimes it can feel, I
(28:18):
think hard to commit to the doing when your self
concept and your idea of yourself is not that yet,
so it's like you have to shift it alongside.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Yeah, no, I totally understand what you mean. You said
that you ultimately figured it out. When we're talking about
shifting into books. I would love for you to give
us some color on what that process looked like, because
I think that that is such a really beautiful testament
to where your passions laid, where.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
Your why was.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
You had such a strong why that you were willing
to do things that you had never done to get
to somewhere that you had never been.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I really anything but words from those books for years, literally,
and I I mean like I went hard. And I
remember at one point I like posted a close friends
story and I was like listen, like to all, oh no,
it wouldn't be close friends at the time, it would
have been public at the time, where I just said it, listen,
(29:19):
like if you are a friend of mine and like
you were not into this like type of writing or whatever,
and you don't want to follow this account anymore, like
please feel free to go. Absolutely no hard feelings like
if this just isn't your thing, like I'm not offended.
I'm just going to let you know that I'm going
to be doing this like a lot. And to me,
that kind of helped ease the transition where I was like, look,
just fyi you guys, like I'm going for this thing,
like you don't, Like, I'm not genuinely not infunded if
(29:41):
you are not into it. It's like, you know, it's
like a genre of any kind of music or writing.
It like if you're not into it, you're not into it.
And that's okay. I've always believed in there was this
the artist's name is escaping me right now, but there's
this quote it's actually in the book, by the way
the piece is put together create a semblance of the whole.
And I really have like lived that and seen and
(30:06):
come to understand the power of that, which is like,
if you show up to the world as a writer,
every single time they experience you, like they start to
think of you that way. And when they start to
think of you that way, they start to treat you
that way. When they're to treat you that way, it's
like all these doors start to open up, Like you
start getting the calls, you know what I mean. Whereas
like if it was you know, every fifth or sixth
(30:28):
time I'm showing up, I'm like in the writer hat.
They perceive it as something I kind of do, so
I'm not as serious about and so I think there's
like a real like art to like how we show
up and where and to whom, and like how consistently
and trust me, I know, to each their own one.
(30:50):
I just mean for my own self, it was showing
up for this like basically come hell or high water,
like NonStop for years and years and years and years
years was the answer.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Taking a break from today's episode to give some love
to my sponsor at Brooks Running, I am ready to
scream it from the rooftops. The new Brooks glycerin twenty
two is one of my favorite staple sneakers in my
current rotation. I did my twelve mile run in it
(31:26):
last weekend. I did some mile repeats in it last
week and it felt so freeing on both. I love
a sneaker understatement that you don't think twice about when
it's on your feet, so I want something that feels
like a second skin. And the glcerin twenty two delivers.
It felt cushioned and distraction free and allowed me to
(31:48):
be really present in my movement. Life is hard enough already.
You don't need a sneaker to add on to the
daily frustrations. Right you want to feel comfortable on your run. Plus,
the double jack card knit upper is like a second skin.
It offers a flexible, accommodating fit that moves with me
(32:11):
regardless of pace. Lastly, got to give some love to
the foam in this shoe. It's DNA tuned nitrogen infused foam,
which I know sounds fancy, but essentially it's made up
of larger cells that help provide plush landings in the
heel and smaller cells in the forefoot which make for
a super responsive toe off.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
Don't just take my word for it.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Get yourself a pair of Brooks glycerin twenty two today
by heading on over to Brookserunning dot com Slash Hurdle
Dash podcast again that is b.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
R O O K s r U n n I
n G dot.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Com Slash Hurdle Dash podcast to grab yourself a pair
of the Brooks glycerin twenty two today. Also got to
give some love to my sponsor at Element the way
I was so excited to hand off an Element bottle
of delicious raspberry electrolytes to my girlfriend yesterday while running
(33:15):
the New York United Half Marathon.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Element.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
You've heard me talk about it before. I'm gonna tell
you why it's awesome again right now. An electrolyte, drink
mix and sparkling water. It's got everything you need and
nothing you don't. Whether it's ninety degrees or twenty degrees outside,
hydration is always important, and it's not just about drinking
water being adequately hydrated. It's about optimizing your bodies fluid ratios,
(33:41):
which depends on so many factors, including the intake and
excretion of electrolytes.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
That's where Element comes into the picture.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
For me.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
It's got a thousand milligrams of sodium, two hundred milligrams
of potassium, and sixty milligrams of magnesium.
Speaker 3 (33:55):
It's the highlight of my personal afternoon routine, midday work break.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Now, of course, I have a deal for you so
that you can try all of my favorite flavors watermelon, raspberry, grapefruit, orange, citrus,
you name it.
Speaker 3 (34:11):
Head on over to drink Element dot com.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
That's drink lmnt dot com slash hurdle to get a
free sample back today with your purchase again that is
drink lmnt dot com slash hurdle for a free sample
pack with your purchase today.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
That's so powerful.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
And I'm sitting here, I mean transparently as an individual
that does a lot of things right. I love podcasting,
I love these conversations. I'm also a contributing writer, something
that you are familiar with. I am a certified professional coach,
which you can like into a life coach, and I
love working with women and talking about values and goal
(34:57):
setting and things like this. But by being such a
multi hyphen it, it's almost as though I'm watering down,
albeit unintentionally, so many of my skills.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Yeah, and you know, obviously, like there's so much power
and beauty to being a multi hyphenit, so like you know,
that's like and I think that when we become like
our most actualized selves, I think more of us lean
in that direction than not. But there's like a to me,
there's a difference between like what I have going on
in my life and when I'm showing you do you
(35:31):
know what I mean? And I try to be strategic
about that because it begins to form the perception in
It's again, it's not just about how people think of you,
it's how they interact with you. It's like the opportunities
they call you for. Oh my gosh, that had such
a good example of this the other day. So I
don't even post photos of myself for years and years
and years and years and years. It was just the writing.
(35:52):
I was like, I just have to get the writing
out there, and like, I went hard and I don't know,
I posted a phote because I'm trying to like bring
my soul back into it again. And I posted a
photo myself. What I got, I'm not even kidding you.
It was something like seven I forget the number of
requests to speak. And I was so floored by this.
(36:14):
I was like, where is this all coming from? And
it was just from seeing me. And I was like,
but this again is a further testimony and testament I
should say to like when we show up in a
certain way, like it kind of has this like mirroring effect,
do you know what I mean? It's like the most
like have this realization. So it's I think it's more
of a question of like in this part of your
(36:37):
life in this moment, whatever you're trying to build, whatever
you're trying to create, it's like, what do I want
to show up and like expand in my life? And
I think there's like a way to have a beautiful
balance of it. But I just will say that for me,
hyper focusing on that when I get questions about like
work life balance, which I am completely unequipped to answer,
(36:59):
and I I don't have any good answers because I'm like,
I don't know, because the only time things have ever
like truly truly worked for me is when I've been
willing to go into a chapter of not having balance
with it. Do you know what I mean? Where it's like, well,
you know, I'm going to go all into this for
a period of time and obvious doesn't mean neglect your
(37:19):
health and well being helping that, but like you know,
I'm going to go all and I'm going to devote
I'm going to be with this and be about this
and be unwavering in it. And that for me was
always what created the momentum to make it go where
I wanted to go. And then you know, kind of
once things were moving like that, I was like Okay, I
bring other elements of my life back in now. But
even if I'm like leading up to like a book
(37:41):
launch or something like, I will like be very intentional about,
you know, leading with what I want people to respond, Tom.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Have you ever had an experience going all in that
you regretted it?
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Never? But I think it's because I've never gone all
in unless I was sure. It's not something I would
I do or have ever done lightly, And honestly, I
probably dragged my feet.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
On I'm gonna have to go all in next week.
I'm just not ready yet.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Ready yet I would like, yeah, I would kind of
like almost like resist or like self sabotage a little,
just because I was like, am I sure? And I
also I think that's like beautiful too. It's just like,
you know, it's kind of this like testing process of
like are we sure? And I think that's okay. It's
like dating before marriage kind of thing, do you know
what I mean? It's like, it's okay, it's okay to
(38:33):
have that have a testing to make sure you have
this much resolve and certainty before you devote just so
much of your time and resources and energy and life
to something. Do you know what I mean. And there's
so much that all came together to give me the
skills they needed to go all in that I gathered
(38:53):
while I was parsed out on different things, do you
know what I mean? It's like they everything served a
purpose ultimately. But you know, I do know people, though,
who have gone all in on things and have regreded
it pretty consistently. Listen, there's someone I'm not thinking of,
but pretty consistently. It's like not something they thought about
for a long time, you know what I mean. By
(39:13):
the time I was like, okay, I'm all in on books,
like I had published my first one like eight ten
years ago, do you know what I mean? Like it
had been a while of Okay, we're here now.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Yeah, But I really you had really thought about it.
There were a lot of tools that you already had
in your toolbox that you were ready to use to execute.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
Yeah. And I don't advocate for or encourage the whole
like starving artist thing, and I don't believe in it.
They don't like it.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
I feel like going all in when you're an author,
it's kind of like when you move to a new city,
Like when I moved to New York City. I was
told that I needed to have six months of a
certain amount of expenses ready at any given moment.
Speaker 3 (39:51):
Right. I didn't just move and say I'm going to
figure it out.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
I you know, when I had those six months of
a cushion, was like, Okay, I can now move to
New York City and then I'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
Yes. And for a lot of the many of those
first years, I was doing other things that like pay
the bills, you know what I mean. Yeah, but I didn't.
That didn't even really matter to me. I didn't coher
it into that identity, you know what I mean. Like
it was like whatever pays the bills, don't even care.
It's like the way I want the world to receive
(40:23):
me is as this, because this is where I'm like heading.
And also that like not only is that not a failure,
it's like every person you know, even like the most
successful person you know, like has like a wildly diversified
way of like getting their needs met or like their
investments or whatever it is they have going on. And
it's really for pretty much nobody. It's never just like
(40:44):
one thing. But I think there can be at least
there is for me, a difference between like, you know, well,
here's why I consistently show up versus it's like you
about all these things happening behind the scenes, but not
everything to me is like for the public.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
I understand what you're saying, and I think that it's
how you view what you're sharing and what the purpose
of the share is.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
And how few people, I think, even pause for a
second in their lives whatever they're doing, to be like,
what is my intention with this? Why do you know
what I'm saying. I've had this theory for a while
that we have about thirteen seconds a week of people's
true attention thirteen Yeah, and again there's like I don't
(41:27):
know how I came up with this, but like, over time,
I've just felt this more and more true. So you
know what, someone disproved me, please, but I have always
felt it and I've seen it where it's like you
have about thirteen seconds a week of people's like true
pure attention, Like you have that much time to really
make them notice something, and then past that they can
(41:48):
observe it or experience it that they don't fully connect
with it with that like completeness, and so it doesn't
matter what else you're doing after the thirteen seconds. It's
just a matter of making sure you know what you're
using those thirteen seconds on.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
Yeah, it's an interesting theory.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
The thirteen second approach, so to speak, has been something
in your toolbox that has helped you a mass of
following of over a million people who are now then
converting into fans of these books. You talk so much
about how you are portraying yourself online and what it
(42:27):
is that you are trying to provide from a value perspective,
what it is that people see when they show up
to your corner of the internet. But when you look
in the mirror, Brianna, what do you see looking back
at you.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
I don't see like a writer. I just see like
a person. Like I feel like I see the same
thing that I saw when I was like a kid,
which I think is good. But like I also something
that I've had to work on bridging is cognitive dissonance
between like I still feel like the same person in
(43:03):
a studio apartment twelve years ago who wrote those books,
Like internally I don't feel it, and then there's this
big cognitive dissonance of but the world doesn't see you
that way. Do you know what I mean. So it's
like how I feel and how it's like changed, and
so it takes a little bit of like maturing, I think,
and kind of just like pacing and like meeting the
(43:25):
moment and what things are now. But I just see
someone who's trying. I'm so serious. I'm so I'm actually
so serious. I just really see someone that's like just
it's just trying, Like.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
For real, what's the genuine why?
Speaker 2 (43:45):
What is the thing that kept you writing in the
studio apartment. What is the thing that encourages you to
do that level of maturing so that you can keep
showing up to these words to paper.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Doing it saved and changed my life. Doing it is
my main therapeutic practice. It's how I reframe anything and everything.
Anytime I needed an answer and didn't have it, I
would just make one up. I would just write it
down for myself, and it would change how I felt,
how I was experiencing the world, what I was seeing.
And it's like whether people are reading it or not,
(44:24):
like it doesn't even matter, because it's like the experience
of creating it for myself had had and has such
an impact that it is intrinsically rewarding for me, and
then everything else is just amazing on top of it.
But it's also like it kind of has to be that,
like we were saying, because it's like, not everyone's going to,
(44:47):
you know, meet the book the same way. Sometimes it
takes eight years for them to even know it's out there,
do you know what I mean? So it's like you
have to be so true with it because you know
it's again, like it really is a process.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
When you say it saved you, what do you mean
by that?
Speaker 1 (45:04):
I mean that in a really literal, like mental health way,
but I also mean it in a kind of broader way,
and just I think it saved me from myself, and
I think it saved me from making worse decisions than
I was already making because I was actively trying to
like reframe my mind and think about my future self
(45:29):
more than my present discomfort.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
I'm trying to like put myself in the shoes of
someone who's like hearing you, and you're like, writing helps
save my life and it helped me make better decisions
and all these things, and that sounds so well and good,
but it's not like that happened in any sort of
an immediate time frame. So for someone right now that
is maybe thinking, Okay, I'm looking for solace or I
need to save myself, or I am standing in my
own way, what do you say to them?
Speaker 3 (45:54):
Right?
Speaker 2 (45:54):
Because you had to hold on to something to keep
going when it wasn't happening.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
And I'm going to use air quotes on this fast enough.
Speaker 1 (46:01):
Read and not even my books, seriously, not even mine,
like read because it did happen for me instantly, and
it was through reading other people's wisdom, other people's reframes,
other people's thoughts. That was kind of the original experience.
And then writing was kind of me just taking on
(46:23):
that practice for my own self. But the origin of
it was me finding other people who wrote the way
that I needed and wanted to think. And that's really
what changed my life. And then I just became the
person creating it.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
Yeah, when someone in that vein, they look at you
as this person that's creating the reality or the thought
processes that they too want to adopt. They look at
you maybe and I know this word gets thrown around
a little bit, but as a bit of a guru
of thousands that every morning I get up and I
pick up your book the impact is real and the
(47:05):
impact is there, and when you hear that, what does
that insight within you?
Speaker 3 (47:13):
It makes me laugh someime.
Speaker 1 (47:17):
I was just like so not just that it makes
me laugh, like oh God. But then my mind goes
to what I hope you feel is a friend who
is walking a parallel path or has walked there is
(47:37):
nothing you could go through that at least one other person,
if not many have not gone through some form of
as well. And I know it feels like you know
there's something like wrong with you and only you, and
it's like to realize how much that isn't the case,
(48:00):
like ah, what an exhale, like Okay, we can figure
this out.
Speaker 2 (48:04):
On your journey, you mentioned that there have been so
many hurdles to get you to where you are, to
being in this place where you're just releasing this newest book.
Were there any hurdles in particular that almost hassuaded you
from continuing on the path at all?
Speaker 1 (48:20):
Oh? Yeah, lots, I think the I really think the
biggest and most consistent one over time is the fear
of what other people would think and that their judgment
or perception would dominate over my own and would become
who I am? What if everyone hates me? Do you
(48:43):
know what I mean? Like what I everyone thinks I'm stupid?
Like it's these fears I think held me back more
than anything. And I feel like everyone I talked to
has some version of that as well. It's like it's
like a fear of failure, but like for all various
different reasons we had, like who were disappointing? Who are
we feeling embarrassed in front of? Like the love we
(49:04):
won't get because we're not x y Z. It's like
it comes out in all these different ways, but it's
just that like fundamental like sense of like do I
believe in this? And I'm sure I believe in this
enough to keep going even if I fail. And the
way I kept finding my way back to that yes,
is if this is not for anyone but just for me,
(49:26):
that is enough. It was enough and continues to be
and that's like kept me on it. And you know,
also just you know, not allowing the noise I think
two become your only reality or to fear you know,
(49:50):
what could happen more than just kind of meeting this
moment with your you know, your eyes chest and two
feet on the floor and being like, hey, I can,
I am capable, I and yes I'm here. I say, yes,
I'm doing this and I will figure it out one
way or another.
Speaker 2 (50:07):
It reminds me of that line in one hundred and
one Essays, and you wrote, stop asking what am I
doing with my life? And start asking what am I
doing with my life today? It's so challenging to focus
on today.
Speaker 1 (50:22):
Right, No, it really is.
Speaker 3 (50:28):
It is it is.
Speaker 2 (50:30):
And so I mean, practically, as we start to wind
down here, how does someone get better about being in
the present and, as you stated, so beautifully being where
their own two feet are, rather than thinking too far ahead.
Speaker 1 (50:46):
I think that the reason it feels so difficult for
us to just completely let go and be all the
way in the moment is because that's not how we're
actually supposed to be. It's that our dominant focus has
to be in the moment whilst simultaneously kind of gazing
toward the future. And that's what kind of allows us
(51:07):
to make productive, positive choices for our future selves. And
at the same time, in some gentle way connected to
the past, where you're reflecting and gleaning wisdom and insight,
you're learning from mistakes you made you know, you're not
just kind of bulldozing your way through life, but you're
you're taking this wisdom with you, right, You're bringing it
(51:28):
into this moment. But at the same time, you're in
this moment and you're still you know, considering yourself tomorrow,
yourself in five years, yourself at the end of your life.
But at no time are either of those things, you know,
creating a dominance over you being right here and now.
But at least for me, I could say that every
time I've tried to like let go of it, you know,
(51:50):
and just be completely present, I think you almost lose
something sometimes where it's like it's more of like a
weaving of all three. But I think that people get
really stuck in like the future of the past present
feels the easiest to lose because it feels like there's
the least to deal with there. But that's actually where
everything is.
Speaker 3 (52:10):
Yeah, it's an and both scenario.
Speaker 2 (52:13):
And I think that when you get very clear on
who it is that you are, what it is that's
important to you, that allows you to have this filter
where you can be aware of what it is that
you're after for your future self and simultaneously be a
bit more in the moment.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
Yeah, that's exactly right.
Speaker 3 (52:33):
Yeah, yeah, Wow.
Speaker 2 (52:35):
Well, I'm so grateful that we've had this time. There's
so much more that I could sit here and ask you.
But before I let you go, Brihanna, if you had
to offer yourself a piece of advice, let's say, going
back to one of those hurdle moments, as you sat
there and allowed the fear to be what led you
(52:55):
briefly to wonder to yourself, Oh my god, what am
I putting into the world?
Speaker 3 (52:59):
Is what I should be doing?
Speaker 2 (53:01):
If you had to offer yourself a piece of advice,
knowing what you know now going through that hurdle moment,
what would you tell.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
Yourself connect to observe, witness, read about, befriend follow people
who are in their arenas, even if it's not exactly
your own. Because when you are in even a self
generated community where that forward movement is kind of the norm,
(53:31):
it becomes way easier to do. And you know, I
think it's sometimes really challenging to not feel defeated when
you feel like you're the only person. But you're not
the only person. It's just in this particular moment you
feel you will are disconnected from the so so many
(53:53):
others who are doing the same thing. So it's I think,
I think TLDR your people and let them inspire you
and encourage you and remind you. You know that you
are not going to collapse. You know, at the presence
of anyone challenge coming up, you're so much bigger than that.
(54:18):
And it's almost in the process of confronting that that
you realize how much bigger than it you are. But
you would never know if you didn't have the courage
to kind of face it, go through it and realize, oh,
I'm untouched.
Speaker 3 (54:32):
You just have to look at all of the different arenas.
I love that.
Speaker 2 (54:35):
Well, I'm so again so happy that we were able
to do this. For those that aren't following along with
you just yet give us your inbo How do we
keep up?
Speaker 1 (54:44):
We keep up on Instagram at Brianna Waste and my
website Brianimes dot com that has linked to all the
books and stuff.
Speaker 2 (54:52):
The link to all the books and stuff, and of
course again the new book, The Life That's Waiting is
out now. I am over at Emily a Body and
at Hurdle Podcast Another Hurdle Conquered. Catch you guys, next time.
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.