March 7, 2025 • 10 mins
This week's 5-MINUTE FRIDAY covers joy and the tough stuff. Offering up a few actionable tips that can help you through making your next difficult decision, hinging on a listener question that came in this week.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, everybody, EMILYA Badi here, you're listening to five Minute
Friday from Hurdle.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
What a week?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I feel like I start every frid Minute Friday by saying,
what a week? But this has been a good week
for me, and I really feel like I needed a
good week. I don't want this to be the subject
of today's episode, but I have been making it a
point and I tried to do this most of the time,
but very intentional over looking for the good lately. I
(00:51):
was candidly just struggling at the beginning of the year,
and I got to a point. And this often happens
when we are in need of change and maybe aren't
at a point yet where we want to admit it.
Staying where I was was more painful than making the change,
and so I decided to make some changes, and I
(01:11):
decided to start seeking the joy actively. I write about
this in the Weekly Hurdle today. But noticing where there's
good around me and paying attention to that, being in
the elevator and seeing two cute snorting bulldogs on my
way out for my run this morning. On the run
this morning, seeing I think there were toolips that were
(01:31):
about to come out from under the ground, like the
smallest peep of yellow.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Coming up over the soil.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Seeing a man that I had once, I was finishing
a run and he was finishing on a run and
he said, I'll race you to the corner. We did
not know each other, and we raced each other to
the corner and we laughed about it and it was
really sweet. And I saw him on my run today
and he said, have a great run, and that was
just so delightful. So I am paying attention and seeking joy.
And I find that when I do that, it comes
(01:58):
back to me. I say it all the time time.
Energy attracts like energy, and when I choose to seek joy,
then my thoughts are positive too. So as I'm on
my run, I have this thought, and maybe it sounds
a little woo woo, but I just have this moment
that I think, well, now's my chance to start over.
(02:18):
And I recognize that every second, every minute, you don't
need to wait for a January first, or the first
of any month, or even a new day. You can
start over with whatever you are navigating right now, something
that might be frustrating you, something that you might feel
caught up in. Listen to me when I say that
right now, you can start fresh if you choose to
make that decision, and that decision, yes, I understand, there
(02:40):
might be some caveats I understand, but you can make
that decision most of the time, and that feels really great.
So I encourage you to do that. I encourage you
to seek joy in your day to day. I actually
wanted to make today's Five Minute Friday about a listener
question that came in, so you can think of this
as me segueing now into the listener question, but really
(03:02):
I'm just going to talk about it for a few minutes.
The listener question specifically, Hi, Emily, I've been listening since
twenty seventeen.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Six exclamation points. Love you for this.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
My question for you is, how do you know if
a decision is right? For example, interviewing for new jobs
or opportunities. I tend to get hesitant because I can
be a bit too comfortable where I'm at right now
or scared of change. But question is, how do you
determine what your gut instinct is telling you? How do
you know if the decision is right? Any advice would
be much appreciated. Thank you so much, Taylor, Taylor this
(03:35):
is so good. I can tell you that I have
literally been in this same questioning position, especially when it
comes to deciding about a job change, so I can
sympathize with the nerves that go hand in hand with
making a big decision like this.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
They call it gut instinct. I don't know if you
know this.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Gut instinct is actually a term that's rooted on this
concept of the mind gut connection, the signals that pass
between your gastrone testinal system and your nervous system, and
you will likely experience when you are nervous or trying
to make a big decision, or you're feeling really anxious,
(04:16):
your stomach is in knots that I'm using air quotes
here because of this connection. So naturally, when you are
making a decision that makes you uncomfortable, there are going
to be feelings like you listed, being hesitant, being scared, feeling.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
A little bit all over the place.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Right now, even though it's difficult, when you're making the
right decision, there are a few things that will happen.
First and foremost, you will recognize or be able to
recognize that the decision that you are making aligns with
your core values. If you've never taken a step back
to ask yourself, what are my core values? You can
literally go on Google Google values. I know it sounds silly,
but google it. Write down ten to fifteen words that
(04:53):
resonate with you, and then when you're making these difficult decisions,
you will notice that they fall in line with the
things that are important to you the direction that you're
going in. If you recognize that it doesn't align with
your core values, then you have to ask yourself, what
is it that's pulling me toward this thing? If it's
not indicative of what I care about or who I am.
(05:16):
The next thing that you'll realize is that even though
you may feel nervous when you're making a decision that
is in alignment for you, you will feel relief period. I
know this might sound a little weird, but fear and
excitement can feel the same in your body. So you
need to really pay close attention to whether you are
(05:37):
scared because this is something that is new for you,
or simply because it is something that is wrong, something
again that doesn't feel aligned. Okay, so both of those
things are important when it comes to making big decisions.
There are a few things that I will advise you
in the first thing is take a second to recognize,
like what your triggers are, what are your biggest fears
(05:59):
When you are in fear mode, ask yourself what's happening here?
Is that fear causing you to feel overwhelmed? Are you procrastinating?
Are you over analyzing? And rather than judge whatever is
happening in this moment, simply recognize it. Just state it
as this is how I'm feeling in this moment. And note,
(06:21):
this is how I'm feeling in this moment. It is
not I am overwhelmed. It is I feel overwhelmed recognizing
that there is some distance between you and that is
a feeling, It is not a state fact.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Period.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
The next thing you can do is do something to
deliberately calm your nervous system. So, whether that is something
as simple as taking a walk around the block or
doing four rounds of box breath, which I've talked about
is a technique that I love, love, love so many
times over here on the show. Do something to really
reset the mind and calm down a little bit so
(06:58):
that you can come to your decision making process with
a more level approach.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
The next thing I want you to do.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Is I want you to ask yourself a very valuable question,
what is my goal here? What is the desired outcome?
When you shift to what is my goal here and
thinking about what it is that you want out of this,
you start to get to a place where you're less
attached to whether or not the decision is quote unquote
right and more attached to what is best for insert
(07:27):
your name here? So what is best for Emily? If
I'm talking to myself, so you're asking yourselves questions like
what is it that I want to feel? Like? What
is it that I want to achieve? If you are
in the situation as you described, deciding on a very
big job or between two different jobs, break down what
is it that I am looking for?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Period?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Do I want something like the opportunity to be more creative?
Do I want job security? Is money a factor here?
There are so many different things that can go into
your decision making process to help you really decipher what
is right for you. There are so many more tips
I could provide here, but the last thing that I
(08:08):
will say is twofold. When making any big decision, you've
got to give yourself some grace and you've got to
give yourself some time, right, So, I know that we
don't always have the gift of time. But with that said,
if you need time to sleep on something, sleep on something,
know that ninety nine percent of the time, someone else's
urgency isn't really your problem. In that if you were
(08:33):
in the fight up against a deadline to say hi,
I really could use a night to make my decision,
I almost guarantee you that that person will meet you
with where you're at. It really isn't that crucial most
of the time. And the second thing I said there, grace.
(08:54):
Grace is so important. It isn't easy. If it was easy,
it wouldn't be such a hard decision. So be kind
to yourself, speak nice to yourself. Recognize that there are
people around you every single day that are making difficult decisions,
that are trying to figure out what's right for them.
And know that although trusting your gut might not feel easy,
you will never regret taking the time to do this
(09:17):
kind of inquiry to get to know yourself better, because
when you do, the next time you are faced with
a truly difficult decision, you'll have some of these tools
in your toolbox ready and waiting to help you on
your way. I hope this helps I understand again. Difficult
decisions are not easy for anyone, But it's just like
(09:39):
strengthening a regular muscle. How does muscle strengthen you give
it something to push up against? How does your will
strengthen you give it something to push up against? Make
sure you're following along with Hurdle Over at Hurdle podcast.
I am over at Emily a Body. I love your
listener questions. I say it every week. I want more
(09:59):
of them, So hit me with your best shot. You
can reach me over at Hello at Hurdle dot Us
Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time
Hey, everybody, EMILYA Badi here, you're listening to five Minute
Friday from Hurdle.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
What a week?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I feel like I start every frid Minute Friday by saying,
what a week? But this has been a good week
for me, and I really feel like I needed a
good week. I don't want this to be the subject
of today's episode, but I have been making it a
point and I tried to do this most of the time,
but very intentional over looking for the good lately. I
(00:51):
was candidly just struggling at the beginning of the year,
and I got to a point. And this often happens
when we are in need of change and maybe aren't
at a point yet where we want to admit it.
Staying where I was was more painful than making the change,
and so I decided to make some changes, and I
(01:11):
decided to start seeking the joy actively. I write about
this in the Weekly Hurdle today. But noticing where there's
good around me and paying attention to that, being in
the elevator and seeing two cute snorting bulldogs on my
way out for my run this morning. On the run
this morning, seeing I think there were toolips that were
(01:31):
about to come out from under the ground, like the
smallest peep of yellow.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Coming up over the soil.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Seeing a man that I had once, I was finishing
a run and he was finishing on a run and
he said, I'll race you to the corner. We did
not know each other, and we raced each other to
the corner and we laughed about it and it was
really sweet. And I saw him on my run today
and he said, have a great run, and that was
just so delightful. So I am paying attention and seeking joy.
And I find that when I do that, it comes
(01:58):
back to me. I say it all the time time.
Energy attracts like energy, and when I choose to seek joy,
then my thoughts are positive too. So as I'm on
my run, I have this thought, and maybe it sounds
a little woo woo, but I just have this moment
that I think, well, now's my chance to start over.
(02:18):
And I recognize that every second, every minute, you don't
need to wait for a January first, or the first
of any month, or even a new day. You can
start over with whatever you are navigating right now, something
that might be frustrating you, something that you might feel
caught up in. Listen to me when I say that
right now, you can start fresh if you choose to
make that decision, and that decision, yes, I understand, there
(02:40):
might be some caveats I understand, but you can make
that decision most of the time, and that feels really great.
So I encourage you to do that. I encourage you
to seek joy in your day to day. I actually
wanted to make today's Five Minute Friday about a listener
question that came in, so you can think of this
as me segueing now into the listener question, but really
(03:02):
I'm just going to talk about it for a few minutes.
The listener question specifically, Hi, Emily, I've been listening since
twenty seventeen.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Six exclamation points. Love you for this.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
My question for you is, how do you know if
a decision is right? For example, interviewing for new jobs
or opportunities. I tend to get hesitant because I can
be a bit too comfortable where I'm at right now
or scared of change. But question is, how do you
determine what your gut instinct is telling you? How do
you know if the decision is right? Any advice would
be much appreciated. Thank you so much, Taylor, Taylor this
(03:35):
is so good. I can tell you that I have
literally been in this same questioning position, especially when it
comes to deciding about a job change, so I can
sympathize with the nerves that go hand in hand with
making a big decision like this.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
They call it gut instinct. I don't know if you
know this.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Gut instinct is actually a term that's rooted on this
concept of the mind gut connection, the signals that pass
between your gastrone testinal system and your nervous system, and
you will likely experience when you are nervous or trying
to make a big decision, or you're feeling really anxious,
(04:16):
your stomach is in knots that I'm using air quotes
here because of this connection. So naturally, when you are
making a decision that makes you uncomfortable, there are going
to be feelings like you listed, being hesitant, being scared, feeling.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
A little bit all over the place.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Right now, even though it's difficult, when you're making the
right decision, there are a few things that will happen.
First and foremost, you will recognize or be able to
recognize that the decision that you are making aligns with
your core values. If you've never taken a step back
to ask yourself, what are my core values? You can
literally go on Google Google values. I know it sounds silly,
but google it. Write down ten to fifteen words that
(04:53):
resonate with you, and then when you're making these difficult decisions,
you will notice that they fall in line with the
things that are important to you the direction that you're
going in. If you recognize that it doesn't align with
your core values, then you have to ask yourself, what
is it that's pulling me toward this thing? If it's
not indicative of what I care about or who I am.
(05:16):
The next thing that you'll realize is that even though
you may feel nervous when you're making a decision that
is in alignment for you, you will feel relief period. I
know this might sound a little weird, but fear and
excitement can feel the same in your body. So you
need to really pay close attention to whether you are
(05:37):
scared because this is something that is new for you,
or simply because it is something that is wrong, something
again that doesn't feel aligned. Okay, so both of those
things are important when it comes to making big decisions.
There are a few things that I will advise you
in the first thing is take a second to recognize,
like what your triggers are, what are your biggest fears
(05:59):
When you are in fear mode, ask yourself what's happening here?
Is that fear causing you to feel overwhelmed? Are you procrastinating?
Are you over analyzing? And rather than judge whatever is
happening in this moment, simply recognize it. Just state it
as this is how I'm feeling in this moment. And note,
(06:21):
this is how I'm feeling in this moment. It is
not I am overwhelmed. It is I feel overwhelmed recognizing
that there is some distance between you and that is
a feeling, It is not a state fact.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Period.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
The next thing you can do is do something to
deliberately calm your nervous system. So, whether that is something
as simple as taking a walk around the block or
doing four rounds of box breath, which I've talked about
is a technique that I love, love, love so many
times over here on the show. Do something to really
reset the mind and calm down a little bit so
(06:58):
that you can come to your decision making process with
a more level approach.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
The next thing I want you to do.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Is I want you to ask yourself a very valuable question,
what is my goal here? What is the desired outcome?
When you shift to what is my goal here and
thinking about what it is that you want out of this,
you start to get to a place where you're less
attached to whether or not the decision is quote unquote
right and more attached to what is best for insert
(07:27):
your name here? So what is best for Emily? If
I'm talking to myself, so you're asking yourselves questions like
what is it that I want to feel? Like? What
is it that I want to achieve? If you are
in the situation as you described, deciding on a very
big job or between two different jobs, break down what
is it that I am looking for?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Period?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Do I want something like the opportunity to be more creative?
Do I want job security? Is money a factor here?
There are so many different things that can go into
your decision making process to help you really decipher what
is right for you. There are so many more tips
I could provide here, but the last thing that I
(08:08):
will say is twofold. When making any big decision, you've
got to give yourself some grace and you've got to
give yourself some time, right, So, I know that we
don't always have the gift of time. But with that said,
if you need time to sleep on something, sleep on something,
know that ninety nine percent of the time, someone else's
urgency isn't really your problem. In that if you were
(08:33):
in the fight up against a deadline to say hi,
I really could use a night to make my decision,
I almost guarantee you that that person will meet you
with where you're at. It really isn't that crucial most
of the time. And the second thing I said there, grace.
(08:54):
Grace is so important. It isn't easy. If it was easy,
it wouldn't be such a hard decision. So be kind
to yourself, speak nice to yourself. Recognize that there are
people around you every single day that are making difficult decisions,
that are trying to figure out what's right for them.
And know that although trusting your gut might not feel easy,
you will never regret taking the time to do this
(09:17):
kind of inquiry to get to know yourself better, because
when you do, the next time you are faced with
a truly difficult decision, you'll have some of these tools
in your toolbox ready and waiting to help you on
your way. I hope this helps I understand again. Difficult
decisions are not easy for anyone, But it's just like
(09:39):
strengthening a regular muscle. How does muscle strengthen you give
it something to push up against? How does your will
strengthen you give it something to push up against? Make
sure you're following along with Hurdle Over at Hurdle podcast.
I am over at Emily a Body. I love your
listener questions. I say it every week. I want more
(09:59):
of them, So hit me with your best shot. You
can reach me over at Hello at Hurdle dot Us
Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time
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