September 27, 2023 • 33 mins
In today’s episode, I will discuss “Planting a Seed”.
What is it?
What does it mean?
A genuine concern to me - Is planting a seed just incognito for manipulating your partner?
Can you create anticipation and arousal in your marriage by planting a seed?
Keep listening to find out why I feel that planting a seed is one of the most essential and powerful tools for a masculine Dominant leader today.
Towards the end of the episode, I will give an example, discuss, and offer a few robust tips regarding sending a sexy meme or text to plant a seed with your wife or partner.
Leading with integrated masculine energy!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mr Fox (00:00):
On believable, I recorded this entire podcast
episode at home in my nicestudio with my nice recording
equipment, just knowing that theaudio is going to be so much
better than the previous coupleof episodes. Well, it turns out
when I went to edit the podcastjust now that all the audio is
(00:21):
all, it's a jumbled mess and theaudio sounds like a Charlie
Brown cartoon. It's terrible.
Before I left on this trip, Iactually woke up before the sun
rose that morning, just tocapture the audio. So all I had
to do was a quick edit, andpublish. And it's unfortunate
right? already invested my time,my energy. And not to mention I
(00:43):
set expectations. I hadexpectations of getting the
episode edited and droppedtonight. But now you know what?
That's already behind me. I havemy portable microphone right now
that I'm using in my hotel roomon the desk. And I'm just going
to do it again. Otherwise, I'dbe lost in regret, regret and
(01:06):
frustration and make no progresstoward my goals, right? I'm not
going to let this slow me down.
I'm not going to let it determe. I'm going to stay focused.
Right? And the reason that I'mmentioning this in my podcast
today because to me, this ismasculine dominant leadership.
(01:30):
Right, just get the job done.
Not feeling sorry for myself,not going to make excuses. I'm
not going to blame anybody else.
And all the time that I would dothat. I could just record the
episode again and go on. So takewhat you have and make it
happen. Don't play the victim.
Don't blame others. Don't blameyour circumstances. Just get it
done. Today's episode, well, itis not going to be recorded from
(01:56):
my home studio, rather, thisevening. This episode is
recorded in Paris, France. rightjust a little bit more info
tomorrow. I'm going to departParis for Hong Kong. The next
day will fly north to Seoul,South Korea. And then I'll begin
to make my journey home. Thistrip just like the last trip is
(02:19):
another around the world journeyfor me. But this time we're
going to circle the globe theother direction. Thank you
everyone for joining me today.
And let's get this podcaststarted.
Intro (02:32):
By 43210 All engine running. We have a look.
Mr Fox (03:04):
Welcome, everyone, this is Mr. Fox, the host and founder
of the has DOM dominant leaderpodcast, a community of men
choosing masculinity, strivingfor excellence and fulfillment
in all areas of our lives withsome kinky dominance and
submission BDSM fun as well.
(03:29):
In today's episode, I'm going todiscuss planting a seed. What is
it? What does it mean? And thereal concern to me is if
somebody were to say, Isn'tplanting a seed just incognito
for manipulating your partner?
Keep listening to find out why Ifeel that planting a seed is one
(03:51):
of the most important andpowerful tools for a masculine
dominant leader today. Andtowards the end of the episode,
I will give an example discussand offer a few robust tips
regarding sending a sexy meme ora text to plant a seed with your
wife or your apartment.
(04:18):
Before we get into this podcasttoday, I want to share a short
audio clip from one of ourhusbands discussions last week.
First, let me give you guys alittle background to the
discussion. For those of youthat don't know, for over a
decade now, LK and myself havededicated ourselves to helping
couples discover happiness,passion, commitment, and
(04:43):
rekindle the flame in theirrelationships. We author
articles through blogs, we runonline DS communities, we coach
individuals, we coach couplesand through our communities we
also conduct regular live zoomdiscussions So, we LK and I make
ourselves available to ourmembership to teach as well as
(05:07):
to mentor and to coach in groupsetting. Right, these members
actually have access to us theytalk to us live in real time,
get our comments. What I want toshare with you today is from
last week's discussion on howAzzam it was a husband
discussion, I bought a shortaudio clip of myself and a
(05:28):
couple other members discussing,you guessed planning a seat.
This audio clip is four minuteslong, but I did I really wanted
to share some of the discussionwith you. I thought it was
powerful. So sit back and enjoybecause I'll tell you what was
(05:52):
going through my crazy mind theother day, because I do talk a
lot about planting the seed. AndI know that's like the monthly
theme that our case in but likeI use that term a lot, because I
think that's what a lot ofleadership is in my mind, right?
It's not like dictatorship. It'snot like, Hey, you do this
because I'm the boss. It's morelike, as a dominant, how am I
going to get okay to want to dothese things? Right. And one of
(06:17):
the questions that went throughmy mind, because I don't feel
it's manipulative at all. Idon't feel I'm being
manipulative, right. But as Istarted thinking this through
the other day, when I wrote aresponse, I started thinking
about my words, like, I don'twant to come across that I'm
trying to be manipulative tookay, because I don't feel that
I am. If I want somebody tochange their behavior around me,
(06:40):
I can affect it directly. By thewords, I choose what I choose to
respond to, what I want to sayhow I respond to it. And I think
that's leadership. And I thinkit goes hand in hand with
planting the seed, I think, youknow, when you toss out an idea,
and then somebody else begins togrow it. And as they began to
even grow it, if you're havingdiscussions happening out loud,
(07:03):
you can even kind of guide itfrom there a little bit. Right?
Or it could be as simple as acompliment. Like, that's what I
was selling, when the other day,is that that's what I would do,
I wouldn't, I wouldn't have thedirect back to his conversation,
I wouldn't have a direct sitdown, like, Hey, I would like
you to change your personality,I would do that. I would
champion what she did. That waswhat I liked. What I wanted to
(07:27):
see more of or closer to what Iliked, and I wouldn't mention
the other stuff. And Ipersonally think is being a
parent, I wish I understood thisat the beginning of being a
parent that understand it now,right? I'm a different man
today. But same thing with mykids. Like it's not just telling
them no all the time, right?
(07:48):
It's if you want them to react acertain way or be a certain way,
I even think it's not just humanbeings. It's not just women,
it's not submissive is when youthink about animals. You think
about your dog, you think evenabout your cat, like most people
want to please other people. Andif they know that you like
something, or that something'spleasing you if they know it,
(08:11):
probably even on a subconsciouslevel, they're probably going to
do those things or start doingthem more often. To me that's
planting the seed. But I'mcurious. I think as long as
you're not being deceptive. Idon't think it's manipulative,
right. But I'm wondering how youguys feel on that one? Because
when I started thinking abouthow would I explain the
difference? I got further andfurther and further into my own
(08:35):
thoughts. So I'm wondering ifyou guys pretty much agree with
what I said. And then if youdon't, I'd love to hear that the
other side? And then if you do,I'm curious. If you guys feel
it's manipulative or not, whenyou're planting a seed, when
you're putting the idea outthere that you'd like to see
that behavior go in that way,without saying it directly.
Unknown (08:58):
Don't think it is I mean, you're just trying to
enlighten them and in the areasthat you want to go. I mean,
it's not like you're saying,Hey, this is what we're gonna
do. But you're saying this iswhat I prefer to do. I think it
makes perfect sense.
(09:19):
I think, you know, I agree. Whenyou think of deception, I kind
of think of what is it thatyou're trying to do it again in
a deceptive negative man. Soyou're looking for a selfish
outcome, I think, where ifyou're planting a seed, it's,
it's a growth, something that toto benefit from. So if I'm
(09:41):
looking, let's say to denaturego to a certain direction. And
I'm planting the seed. It'sbecause there's a growth
involved, that has a positiveoutcome for both parties. Where
if you're planning a thought fordeception, it's to me it's the
most because it's got to be selfserving the It has nothing to do
with the, the sob or the person.
It's self gratification. Andthere's no growth in it. It's
(10:07):
just for me, and I don't carewhat your thoughts are. And I'm
going to plant this thing inyour head so that I get what I
want out of it. And to me,that's the deceptiveness. That
person is almost blindsided towhat's going on.
Mr Fox (10:32):
Here, the eagle has landed, planting a seed. What is
it? What does it even mean? Andisn't planting a seed just
manipulating your partner? Andwhy do i Mr. Fox, consider this,
planting a seed to be one of themost important tools for a
(10:54):
masculine dominant leader today.
So what does planting a seedmean? Well, planting a seed is a
metaphorical expression. Thatmeans introducing an idea or
suggestion or a thought in asubtle or indirect way, with the
intention that the idea willtake root and grow. It is a
(11:16):
masculine leadership techniqueoften used in communication to
influence or persuade otherswithout being overly forceful,
or direct. Right? When someoneplants a seed in a conversation,
they're typically laying thegroundwork for a particular
concept or notion to developnaturally in that listeners
(11:40):
mind. And this can be donethrough subtle hints. It can be
done through anecdotes,questions, statements, something
that piques the curiosity, orstimulates thought. The idea is
that over time, the person whoreceived the suggestion may come
(12:01):
to adopt or even consider thatthe idea was that of their own
without feeling like they werepushed, or manipulated into it.
Right. For example, if a parentwants to encourage their child
to become interested in science,they might regularly share
(12:21):
interesting science facts. Theymight show them some science
related videos or documentaries,they might take them to science
museums. By doing all of thosethings, right? They're planting
the seed the seed of curiosityand interest in science in their
child's mind, hoping that theirchild would develop a genuine
(12:45):
interest is planting a seed,nothing more than manipulation.
The effectiveness and ethicalityof planting a seed and
communication depend on theintent behind it and how it is
used. It can be a very valuabletool for inspiring positive
change or promotingunderstanding when employed
(13:09):
ethically and transparently. Ifthe intent behind planting a
seed is to manipulate or deceivesomeone that can be considered
manipulative, right.
Manipulative planting of a seedinvolves using psychological
tactics to influence someone'sthoughts, their feelings or
(13:32):
behavior without their fullawareness or their consent. For
example, if someone suddenlyplants a seed of doubt or fear
in another person's mind, tocontrol their actions, that
would be a manipulative use ofthe technique. Ultimately,
(13:53):
whether planting a seed ismanipulative or not depends on
the context and the intent andhow it is executed. As a
masculine dominant leader, it'sessential to be aware of the
ethical implications of usingthis technique and to use it
responsibly. planting a seed inyour married dominance and
(14:18):
submission relationship. Nowthat we understand what is meant
when we talk about planting aseed, and the difference between
using it ethically, or in amanipulative manner, how can we
incorporate this into ourmarried DS relationship?
planting a seed in a marriedrelationship often involves
(14:39):
gently introducing ideas,suggestions or discussions to
foster understanding and growthand a positive change. planting
a seed is instrumental increating a proper mindset in the
relationship as well as a wholebut also for upcoming events,
(15:02):
such as a scene, right? Sexualanticipation is cultivated
primarily by planting a seed.
The key to planting a seed in amarriage is to do it with love
to do it with respect, and agenuine desire to improve the
relationship. It's essential tobe open to your partner's
(15:23):
responses and work together tofind solutions and make
decisions that benefit bothparties. Effective communication
and mutual understanding arecrucial in ensuring that the
seed grows positively within therelationship. Here are a couple
steps to help you do thiseffectively. First, choose the
(15:47):
right time in the right place.
Use downtime. Use downtime asyour primary tool in order to
create a comfortable and privatesetting where both you and your
partner can speak openly withoutdistractions, or the fear of
(16:08):
judgment or ridicule. expresslove and desire. Start the
conversation by expressing yourlove and attraction to your
partner. Let them know that youvalue your relationship and you
want to enhance your intimacytogether. Listen, actively.
(16:32):
Encourage and allow your partnerthe opportunity to share their
thoughts and feelings. Listenactively without judgment to
what they have to say. Shareyour desires. Be open and honest
about your own desires, your ownfantasies, and what you would
like to explore or change inyour sex life. Try using an if
(16:55):
statement to express yourfeelings and desires such as I
would love to write, I wouldlove it if we could try this.
I've been thinking about that.
Ask for input. Encourage yourpartner to share their desires
and fantasies to write askquestions like Is there anything
(17:15):
you've always wanted to try inthe bedroom? Or what can I do to
make our sex life moresatisfying for you? Explore
together. If you both expressinterest in trying new things,
or making changes, explore thesenew things together. This might
involve trying new activities,positions, incorporating more
(17:39):
BDSM. Maybe it's more romanceand intimacy into your
relationship. Prioritizecommunication. Make
communication about your sexlife an ongoing part of your
relationship. That is so huge,right? That's something that we
weren't taught as marriedcouples. Use downtime regularly
(18:02):
to check in with each other tosee how you can continue to
improve and maintain orfulfilling sex life. A woman's
arousal is different than aman's arousal, right? How do you
keep the fire burning withanticipation? It's no secret by
now that for a woman theirlargest sex organ is their
(18:25):
brain. And that says a lotbecause a woman's clitoris is
much, much larger than mostpeople even realize, right?
That's an entirely differenttopic for an entirely different
podcast. But it's true. Men getaroused rather easily. Wouldn't
you agree? And according toPsychology Today, erotic stimuli
(18:48):
immediately activates the partsof a man's brain related to
getting an erection. That eroticstimuli is often a visual
stimulation. Yep, men seem tofocus on body parts for arousal.
And unlike women, men's sexualarousal can exist whether there
(19:11):
is a relationship present ornot. That is what makes porn so
prevalent and addictive for men.
Men can simply click on acomputer screen and be aroused
in mere seconds. This is usuallynot the case for a woman
however, right? Women are farless turned on by visual images
(19:34):
than men. What seems to turn awoman on more than the image
itself is the fantasy that shecreates write the fantasy in her
mind that she draws from lookingat that image. She might find
bits and pieces of the imagesexy, but it's really the story
in her mind that she createsaround that image. For example,
(19:58):
if the image is that of a womanthat is is bound and being
sexually objectified by a lovingdominant partner. Yes, the woman
may be turned on by the pictureitself. But most likely, most
likely a more substantial turnon for her is the idea of a
loving masculine man. One thatshe could fantasize about.
(20:23):
fantasize about having arelationship with
the man that has completecontrol over her mind, her body,
and her soul. A masculine manthat cares deeply for her, and
cares deeply for her well beingone that wants to provide and
protect her, but also wants totake her to the deepest, darkest
(20:47):
places of her fantasies, right.
Wanting to feed and nourishhimself with her presence and
her flesh. Also knowing that herpurpose of pleasing Him is
uninhibited by normalconstraints of what is
considered proper in today'ssociety. And that with this
inhibition, she'll be taken careof protected, appreciated,
(21:10):
desired and used to serve hissexual pleasure. Yes, a woman's
deep dark secret fantasies aregenerally often exaggerated.
They're edgy, and based onfiction, right? Much like a
(21:31):
romance novel. I hear so manymen say things like, well, I
can't be that guy. And I'm notrich, and I don't own a yacht.
And I don't have my own privateairplane. And on and on and on,
it goes right. For those guys.
(21:54):
Set your ego aside for a minute.
The woman isn't asking for anyof those material things. It's
her fantasy is just a fantasy.
One that creates arousal for herand makes her wet in wanting.
Don't discourage this behaviorwith a lack of self confidence.
(22:14):
Encourage her, encourage herimagination, encourage her
creativity and courage. Thosefantasies. She knows that
they're fantasies, and she knowsthat her fantasies are
outrageous and oftenunrealistic. What she wants is
the dominant man in the fantasy.
The one that controls himself,the one that is brave, and
(22:37):
courageous and can handle anysituation. He's responsible.
He's safe. He's strong, honest,right? She wants the man that
adores her. One that desires herone that is willing to
emotionally connect with her.
She wants a man that can createthat safe container or space
(23:01):
that I frequently talk about.
And to those men that think thatthey can't compete with the
fantasy man. Can you be what Ijust described as a dominant man
in her fantasy? Because that iswhat she wants. She's not asking
for an aeroplane. Lk is favoritebooks to read are rooted in
(23:21):
vampire dominance andsubmission. Right? ritualistic
blood sucking vampires that doall sorts of extreme BDSM
activities. Guess what, guys?
They're all independentlywealthy. They seem to all have
castles and high rise PenthouseSuites. They ride around in
(23:45):
their own private jets. Theyhave yachts. Their bodies are
perfectly hard and chiseled.
They all seem to be mastermartial artists. And hell, they
can even fly. Not airplanes. Butthey're vampires. Right? They
can literally fly. I gotta tellyou, nowhere inside of me is the
need to compete with thosehandsome, young, strong blood
(24:08):
sucking killing machines. Right?
It's the story. The feelings,the emotions, that turn out
okay, on. Not all the materialthings in the book. I'm going to
be that dominant man that delvesinto her fantasies with right.
(24:31):
I'm going to talk to her aboutthem. I'm going to find the
nuggets of information that Ican take and transform into
something hot something in ourreal relationship. Now let's
talk about how to plant a seedto ignite an inferno in your sex
life. Right. There are multipleways to plant a seed in your
(24:54):
relationship to ignite this,this inferno. We've already
discussed the A woman needs moretime than a man to become
aroused. We have also discussedthat women need to feel that
they are in a safe placeemotionally, in order to relax,
right, they need to let theirguard down and completely allow
(25:14):
themselves to immerse into themoment. Also, that a woman's
arousal is often rooted infantasy in the feeling that the
fantasy can provide her. Don'tfear that fantasy guys, women
enjoy sex and appreciate sexythings just like their
(25:35):
counterparts. We as masculinemen need to prepare an
environment right, and plant aseed in order to get her
arousal. For a man, theanticipation can begin minutes
prior to intercourse rightminutes prior to your scene.
Yes, sometimes men, we are thatsimple. But let's not beat
(25:57):
ourselves up over it is just isby design is nature. But with
that said, women are morecomplicated when it comes to
sexual arousal, right? Sometimesdeep penetrating arousal, it can
take days. And often it canrequire many layers of
techniques. So sending onesimple suggestive picture, 30
(26:23):
minutes before your scene, ormaybe a smack on the asset
breakfast, the day of yourscene. Well, that's not going to
create any real female arousal.
Right? If you genuinely want toget your submissive in the mood
for an upcoming scene, you needto kindle her imagination and
begin days ahead of time. Right?
(26:45):
As a masculine dominant leader,how are you going to get her in
the mood? As I mentionedearlier, we need to appeal to
her largest organ, her mind.
Right? So what does shefantasize about? US downtime to
know what her desires are,right? People change people's
(27:09):
moods and their tastes, theychange as well. discussing your
sexual flavor and downtimeshould be a regular discussion.
An example may be to send yourwife or partner a meme, or a GIF
that speaks directly to herfantasy or her desire. Right?
(27:29):
Too often men send pictures orgifts or whatever, whatever it
might be, that they themselvesfind sexy. And there's nothing
wrong with that. Just remember,if you're trying to plant the
seed, if you're trying for herarousal, it may be something
that she finds sexy, thatactually ignites that flame
(27:52):
right. So when cultivating hermindset, you want to be sure to
send pictures that she findsarousing. It's also important to
send pictures that will also fitthe upcoming scene. So if you're
planning a spanking or an impactscene, for example, send
pictures or gifts thatincorporate some aspect of what
(28:12):
you are going to try to embodyinto that scene. Right? Don't
just send something you think issexy, or even as I suggested
before, just something that isthat she fantasizes about right?
Try to make it on point. Be surewhen sending a picture or a meme
(28:33):
to include a few words are ashort sentence, right? Remember,
guys, we're all visual, right?
We're gonna get aroused when wesee the sexy picture. But a
woman of feminine needs more sheneeds some kind of cultivation
behind the picture. Why are theythere? Right? What's the
(28:54):
fantasy? What can sheanticipate. So don't just send
the picture and think your jobis done right? Send it with a
couple of words or a shortsentence. And those words they
can be dirty, they can be alittle dirty. They don't have to
be dirty at all. But thereshould be something there to
generate some fantasy to allowher mind some creativity for
(29:20):
anticipation. That's what we'retrying to. That's what we're
trying to build is anticipationand arousal. The pictures, the
gifts, the words, the sentences.
Again, I think I've said thisalready, but they should all be
referencing to the upcomingscene. And they should be
thought out enough by you tohave purpose. Again, the main
(29:41):
purpose is to createanticipation and create arousal
for your partner.
Don't forget guys. We also needto woo her. Right that fun, sexy
flirting stuff that you did withher right when you were dating
her, she loved it back then. Andguess what, she still loves it
(30:05):
today, make this fun, keep thisrelationship fun, joke around a
bit. And let her know thatyou're looking forward to the
scene, and how much youappreciate her sexual
submission. Right? Once thewheels of anticipation are in
motion, nothing short of anatural disaster should stand in
your way. A significantattribute to the masculine
(30:27):
energy is accountability. Amasculine leader needs to do
what he says he is going to do.
And he needs to do it when hesays he's going to do it. Do not
ever do not ever take a planscene or a planned event
lightly. Men, we seem to be ableto transition in and out of
(30:47):
things, right without a lot ofthought or a lot of
consideration at the lastminute, as men, we seem to be
able to just justify puttingsomething off to do it another
time. And we feel like it's nota big deal. And to us guys, it
may not be a big deal. However,this is precisely the type of
(31:08):
behavior that sounds the alarmfor the feminine. Right? As we
make these changes just on thefly, it undermines and destroys
that safe place that women needto feel emotionally safe. We
often talk about that safety,right? That safety that the
masculine is meant to provide tothe feminine. That is a major
(31:30):
part of this. In fact, I'm goingto say it again because I feel
that it is so important andoften often misunderstood. Men's
inconsistency is what underminesand destroys the safe place that
women need to feel emotionallysafe. Right, this holds true
when we're planting a seed aswell. So guys, that's gonna wrap
(31:53):
it up today for this episode ofhugs Dom and I hope that I've
planted a seed in your mind onjumping in and leaning forward
in a masculine dominant leadrole in your relationship. And
for those of you listening thatare not yet members of Azzam, I
hope that you consider becominga member of our group of
(32:16):
dominant men. I would enjoychatting with you either in our
zoom live chats or on ourprivate Discord server.
A quick update on l k and i andthis update is one of sorrow and
(32:36):
grief. Last week l k and I losta pony in our ponies name was
pay pay. Pay pay had been withour family for many years. He
used to be a cart pony and wepurchased pay pay so my son
could learn how to ride horses.
There were a lot of great thingsthat I could say about him. But
I think for our family pay paywill be remembered as truly
(33:00):
being a ladies man. He wasalways trying to woo the ladies.
He was a big part in ourfamily's lives and he will be
sadly missed.
On believable, I recorded this entire podcast
episode at home in my nicestudio with my nice recording
equipment, just knowing that theaudio is going to be so much
better than the previous coupleof episodes. Well, it turns out
when I went to edit the podcastjust now that all the audio is
(00:21):
all, it's a jumbled mess and theaudio sounds like a Charlie
Brown cartoon. It's terrible.
Before I left on this trip, Iactually woke up before the sun
rose that morning, just tocapture the audio. So all I had
to do was a quick edit, andpublish. And it's unfortunate
right? already invested my time,my energy. And not to mention I
(00:43):
set expectations. I hadexpectations of getting the
episode edited and droppedtonight. But now you know what?
That's already behind me. I havemy portable microphone right now
that I'm using in my hotel roomon the desk. And I'm just going
to do it again. Otherwise, I'dbe lost in regret, regret and
(01:06):
frustration and make no progresstoward my goals, right? I'm not
going to let this slow me down.
I'm not going to let it determe. I'm going to stay focused.
Right? And the reason that I'mmentioning this in my podcast
today because to me, this ismasculine dominant leadership.
(01:30):
Right, just get the job done.
Not feeling sorry for myself,not going to make excuses. I'm
not going to blame anybody else.
And all the time that I would dothat. I could just record the
episode again and go on. So takewhat you have and make it
happen. Don't play the victim.
Don't blame others. Don't blameyour circumstances. Just get it
done. Today's episode, well, itis not going to be recorded from
(01:56):
my home studio, rather, thisevening. This episode is
recorded in Paris, France. rightjust a little bit more info
tomorrow. I'm going to departParis for Hong Kong. The next
day will fly north to Seoul,South Korea. And then I'll begin
to make my journey home. Thistrip just like the last trip is
(02:19):
another around the world journeyfor me. But this time we're
going to circle the globe theother direction. Thank you
everyone for joining me today.
And let's get this podcaststarted.
Intro (02:32):
By 43210 All engine running. We have a look.
Mr Fox (03:04):
Welcome, everyone, this is Mr. Fox, the host and founder
of the has DOM dominant leaderpodcast, a community of men
choosing masculinity, strivingfor excellence and fulfillment
in all areas of our lives withsome kinky dominance and
submission BDSM fun as well.
(03:29):
In today's episode, I'm going todiscuss planting a seed. What is
it? What does it mean? And thereal concern to me is if
somebody were to say, Isn'tplanting a seed just incognito
for manipulating your partner?
Keep listening to find out why Ifeel that planting a seed is one
(03:51):
of the most important andpowerful tools for a masculine
dominant leader today. Andtowards the end of the episode,
I will give an example discussand offer a few robust tips
regarding sending a sexy meme ora text to plant a seed with your
wife or your apartment.
(04:18):
Before we get into this podcasttoday, I want to share a short
audio clip from one of ourhusbands discussions last week.
First, let me give you guys alittle background to the
discussion. For those of youthat don't know, for over a
decade now, LK and myself havededicated ourselves to helping
couples discover happiness,passion, commitment, and
(04:43):
rekindle the flame in theirrelationships. We author
articles through blogs, we runonline DS communities, we coach
individuals, we coach couplesand through our communities we
also conduct regular live zoomdiscussions So, we LK and I make
ourselves available to ourmembership to teach as well as
(05:07):
to mentor and to coach in groupsetting. Right, these members
actually have access to us theytalk to us live in real time,
get our comments. What I want toshare with you today is from
last week's discussion on howAzzam it was a husband
discussion, I bought a shortaudio clip of myself and a
(05:28):
couple other members discussing,you guessed planning a seat.
This audio clip is four minuteslong, but I did I really wanted
to share some of the discussionwith you. I thought it was
powerful. So sit back and enjoybecause I'll tell you what was
(05:52):
going through my crazy mind theother day, because I do talk a
lot about planting the seed. AndI know that's like the monthly
theme that our case in but likeI use that term a lot, because I
think that's what a lot ofleadership is in my mind, right?
It's not like dictatorship. It'snot like, Hey, you do this
because I'm the boss. It's morelike, as a dominant, how am I
going to get okay to want to dothese things? Right. And one of
(06:17):
the questions that went throughmy mind, because I don't feel
it's manipulative at all. Idon't feel I'm being
manipulative, right. But as Istarted thinking this through
the other day, when I wrote aresponse, I started thinking
about my words, like, I don'twant to come across that I'm
trying to be manipulative tookay, because I don't feel that
I am. If I want somebody tochange their behavior around me,
(06:40):
I can affect it directly. By thewords, I choose what I choose to
respond to, what I want to sayhow I respond to it. And I think
that's leadership. And I thinkit goes hand in hand with
planting the seed, I think, youknow, when you toss out an idea,
and then somebody else begins togrow it. And as they began to
even grow it, if you're havingdiscussions happening out loud,
(07:03):
you can even kind of guide itfrom there a little bit. Right?
Or it could be as simple as acompliment. Like, that's what I
was selling, when the other day,is that that's what I would do,
I wouldn't, I wouldn't have thedirect back to his conversation,
I wouldn't have a direct sitdown, like, Hey, I would like
you to change your personality,I would do that. I would
champion what she did. That waswhat I liked. What I wanted to
(07:27):
see more of or closer to what Iliked, and I wouldn't mention
the other stuff. And Ipersonally think is being a
parent, I wish I understood thisat the beginning of being a
parent that understand it now,right? I'm a different man
today. But same thing with mykids. Like it's not just telling
them no all the time, right?
(07:48):
It's if you want them to react acertain way or be a certain way,
I even think it's not just humanbeings. It's not just women,
it's not submissive is when youthink about animals. You think
about your dog, you think evenabout your cat, like most people
want to please other people. Andif they know that you like
something, or that something'spleasing you if they know it,
(08:11):
probably even on a subconsciouslevel, they're probably going to
do those things or start doingthem more often. To me that's
planting the seed. But I'mcurious. I think as long as
you're not being deceptive. Idon't think it's manipulative,
right. But I'm wondering how youguys feel on that one? Because
when I started thinking abouthow would I explain the
difference? I got further andfurther and further into my own
(08:35):
thoughts. So I'm wondering ifyou guys pretty much agree with
what I said. And then if youdon't, I'd love to hear that the
other side? And then if you do,I'm curious. If you guys feel
it's manipulative or not, whenyou're planting a seed, when
you're putting the idea outthere that you'd like to see
that behavior go in that way,without saying it directly.
Unknown (08:58):
Don't think it is I mean, you're just trying to
enlighten them and in the areasthat you want to go. I mean,
it's not like you're saying,Hey, this is what we're gonna
do. But you're saying this iswhat I prefer to do. I think it
makes perfect sense.
(09:19):
I think, you know, I agree. Whenyou think of deception, I kind
of think of what is it thatyou're trying to do it again in
a deceptive negative man. Soyou're looking for a selfish
outcome, I think, where ifyou're planting a seed, it's,
it's a growth, something that toto benefit from. So if I'm
(09:41):
looking, let's say to denaturego to a certain direction. And
I'm planting the seed. It'sbecause there's a growth
involved, that has a positiveoutcome for both parties. Where
if you're planning a thought fordeception, it's to me it's the
most because it's got to be selfserving the It has nothing to do
with the, the sob or the person.
It's self gratification. Andthere's no growth in it. It's
(10:07):
just for me, and I don't carewhat your thoughts are. And I'm
going to plant this thing inyour head so that I get what I
want out of it. And to me,that's the deceptiveness. That
person is almost blindsided towhat's going on.
Mr Fox (10:32):
Here, the eagle has landed, planting a seed. What is
it? What does it even mean? Andisn't planting a seed just
manipulating your partner? Andwhy do i Mr. Fox, consider this,
planting a seed to be one of themost important tools for a
(10:54):
masculine dominant leader today.
So what does planting a seedmean? Well, planting a seed is a
metaphorical expression. Thatmeans introducing an idea or
suggestion or a thought in asubtle or indirect way, with the
intention that the idea willtake root and grow. It is a
(11:16):
masculine leadership techniqueoften used in communication to
influence or persuade otherswithout being overly forceful,
or direct. Right? When someoneplants a seed in a conversation,
they're typically laying thegroundwork for a particular
concept or notion to developnaturally in that listeners
(11:40):
mind. And this can be donethrough subtle hints. It can be
done through anecdotes,questions, statements, something
that piques the curiosity, orstimulates thought. The idea is
that over time, the person whoreceived the suggestion may come
(12:01):
to adopt or even consider thatthe idea was that of their own
without feeling like they werepushed, or manipulated into it.
Right. For example, if a parentwants to encourage their child
to become interested in science,they might regularly share
(12:21):
interesting science facts. Theymight show them some science
related videos or documentaries,they might take them to science
museums. By doing all of thosethings, right? They're planting
the seed the seed of curiosityand interest in science in their
child's mind, hoping that theirchild would develop a genuine
(12:45):
interest is planting a seed,nothing more than manipulation.
The effectiveness and ethicalityof planting a seed and
communication depend on theintent behind it and how it is
used. It can be a very valuabletool for inspiring positive
change or promotingunderstanding when employed
(13:09):
ethically and transparently. Ifthe intent behind planting a
seed is to manipulate or deceivesomeone that can be considered
manipulative, right.
Manipulative planting of a seedinvolves using psychological
tactics to influence someone'sthoughts, their feelings or
(13:32):
behavior without their fullawareness or their consent. For
example, if someone suddenlyplants a seed of doubt or fear
in another person's mind, tocontrol their actions, that
would be a manipulative use ofthe technique. Ultimately,
(13:53):
whether planting a seed ismanipulative or not depends on
the context and the intent andhow it is executed. As a
masculine dominant leader, it'sessential to be aware of the
ethical implications of usingthis technique and to use it
responsibly. planting a seed inyour married dominance and
(14:18):
submission relationship. Nowthat we understand what is meant
when we talk about planting aseed, and the difference between
using it ethically, or in amanipulative manner, how can we
incorporate this into ourmarried DS relationship?
planting a seed in a marriedrelationship often involves
(14:39):
gently introducing ideas,suggestions or discussions to
foster understanding and growthand a positive change. planting
a seed is instrumental increating a proper mindset in the
relationship as well as a wholebut also for upcoming events,
(15:02):
such as a scene, right? Sexualanticipation is cultivated
primarily by planting a seed.
The key to planting a seed in amarriage is to do it with love
to do it with respect, and agenuine desire to improve the
relationship. It's essential tobe open to your partner's
(15:23):
responses and work together tofind solutions and make
decisions that benefit bothparties. Effective communication
and mutual understanding arecrucial in ensuring that the
seed grows positively within therelationship. Here are a couple
steps to help you do thiseffectively. First, choose the
(15:47):
right time in the right place.
Use downtime. Use downtime asyour primary tool in order to
create a comfortable and privatesetting where both you and your
partner can speak openly withoutdistractions, or the fear of
(16:08):
judgment or ridicule. expresslove and desire. Start the
conversation by expressing yourlove and attraction to your
partner. Let them know that youvalue your relationship and you
want to enhance your intimacytogether. Listen, actively.
(16:32):
Encourage and allow your partnerthe opportunity to share their
thoughts and feelings. Listenactively without judgment to
what they have to say. Shareyour desires. Be open and honest
about your own desires, your ownfantasies, and what you would
like to explore or change inyour sex life. Try using an if
(16:55):
statement to express yourfeelings and desires such as I
would love to write, I wouldlove it if we could try this.
I've been thinking about that.
Ask for input. Encourage yourpartner to share their desires
and fantasies to write askquestions like Is there anything
(17:15):
you've always wanted to try inthe bedroom? Or what can I do to
make our sex life moresatisfying for you? Explore
together. If you both expressinterest in trying new things,
or making changes, explore thesenew things together. This might
involve trying new activities,positions, incorporating more
(17:39):
BDSM. Maybe it's more romanceand intimacy into your
relationship. Prioritizecommunication. Make
communication about your sexlife an ongoing part of your
relationship. That is so huge,right? That's something that we
weren't taught as marriedcouples. Use downtime regularly
(18:02):
to check in with each other tosee how you can continue to
improve and maintain orfulfilling sex life. A woman's
arousal is different than aman's arousal, right? How do you
keep the fire burning withanticipation? It's no secret by
now that for a woman theirlargest sex organ is their
(18:25):
brain. And that says a lotbecause a woman's clitoris is
much, much larger than mostpeople even realize, right?
That's an entirely differenttopic for an entirely different
podcast. But it's true. Men getaroused rather easily. Wouldn't
you agree? And according toPsychology Today, erotic stimuli
(18:48):
immediately activates the partsof a man's brain related to
getting an erection. That eroticstimuli is often a visual
stimulation. Yep, men seem tofocus on body parts for arousal.
And unlike women, men's sexualarousal can exist whether there
(19:11):
is a relationship present ornot. That is what makes porn so
prevalent and addictive for men.
Men can simply click on acomputer screen and be aroused
in mere seconds. This is usuallynot the case for a woman
however, right? Women are farless turned on by visual images
(19:34):
than men. What seems to turn awoman on more than the image
itself is the fantasy that shecreates write the fantasy in her
mind that she draws from lookingat that image. She might find
bits and pieces of the imagesexy, but it's really the story
in her mind that she createsaround that image. For example,
(19:58):
if the image is that of a womanthat is is bound and being
sexually objectified by a lovingdominant partner. Yes, the woman
may be turned on by the pictureitself. But most likely, most
likely a more substantial turnon for her is the idea of a
loving masculine man. One thatshe could fantasize about.
(20:23):
fantasize about having arelationship with
the man that has completecontrol over her mind, her body,
and her soul. A masculine manthat cares deeply for her, and
cares deeply for her well beingone that wants to provide and
protect her, but also wants totake her to the deepest, darkest
(20:47):
places of her fantasies, right.
Wanting to feed and nourishhimself with her presence and
her flesh. Also knowing that herpurpose of pleasing Him is
uninhibited by normalconstraints of what is
considered proper in today'ssociety. And that with this
inhibition, she'll be taken careof protected, appreciated,
(21:10):
desired and used to serve hissexual pleasure. Yes, a woman's
deep dark secret fantasies aregenerally often exaggerated.
They're edgy, and based onfiction, right? Much like a
(21:31):
romance novel. I hear so manymen say things like, well, I
can't be that guy. And I'm notrich, and I don't own a yacht.
And I don't have my own privateairplane. And on and on and on,
it goes right. For those guys.
(21:54):
Set your ego aside for a minute.
The woman isn't asking for anyof those material things. It's
her fantasy is just a fantasy.
One that creates arousal for herand makes her wet in wanting.
Don't discourage this behaviorwith a lack of self confidence.
(22:14):
Encourage her, encourage herimagination, encourage her
creativity and courage. Thosefantasies. She knows that
they're fantasies, and she knowsthat her fantasies are
outrageous and oftenunrealistic. What she wants is
the dominant man in the fantasy.
The one that controls himself,the one that is brave, and
(22:37):
courageous and can handle anysituation. He's responsible.
He's safe. He's strong, honest,right? She wants the man that
adores her. One that desires herone that is willing to
emotionally connect with her.
She wants a man that can createthat safe container or space
(23:01):
that I frequently talk about.
And to those men that think thatthey can't compete with the
fantasy man. Can you be what Ijust described as a dominant man
in her fantasy? Because that iswhat she wants. She's not asking
for an aeroplane. Lk is favoritebooks to read are rooted in
(23:21):
vampire dominance andsubmission. Right? ritualistic
blood sucking vampires that doall sorts of extreme BDSM
activities. Guess what, guys?
They're all independentlywealthy. They seem to all have
castles and high rise PenthouseSuites. They ride around in
(23:45):
their own private jets. Theyhave yachts. Their bodies are
perfectly hard and chiseled.
They all seem to be mastermartial artists. And hell, they
can even fly. Not airplanes. Butthey're vampires. Right? They
can literally fly. I gotta tellyou, nowhere inside of me is the
need to compete with thosehandsome, young, strong blood
(24:08):
sucking killing machines. Right?
It's the story. The feelings,the emotions, that turn out
okay, on. Not all the materialthings in the book. I'm going to
be that dominant man that delvesinto her fantasies with right.
(24:31):
I'm going to talk to her aboutthem. I'm going to find the
nuggets of information that Ican take and transform into
something hot something in ourreal relationship. Now let's
talk about how to plant a seedto ignite an inferno in your sex
life. Right. There are multipleways to plant a seed in your
(24:54):
relationship to ignite this,this inferno. We've already
discussed the A woman needs moretime than a man to become
aroused. We have also discussedthat women need to feel that
they are in a safe placeemotionally, in order to relax,
right, they need to let theirguard down and completely allow
(25:14):
themselves to immerse into themoment. Also, that a woman's
arousal is often rooted infantasy in the feeling that the
fantasy can provide her. Don'tfear that fantasy guys, women
enjoy sex and appreciate sexythings just like their
(25:35):
counterparts. We as masculinemen need to prepare an
environment right, and plant aseed in order to get her
arousal. For a man, theanticipation can begin minutes
prior to intercourse rightminutes prior to your scene.
Yes, sometimes men, we are thatsimple. But let's not beat
(25:57):
ourselves up over it is just isby design is nature. But with
that said, women are morecomplicated when it comes to
sexual arousal, right? Sometimesdeep penetrating arousal, it can
take days. And often it canrequire many layers of
techniques. So sending onesimple suggestive picture, 30
(26:23):
minutes before your scene, ormaybe a smack on the asset
breakfast, the day of yourscene. Well, that's not going to
create any real female arousal.
Right? If you genuinely want toget your submissive in the mood
for an upcoming scene, you needto kindle her imagination and
begin days ahead of time. Right?
(26:45):
As a masculine dominant leader,how are you going to get her in
the mood? As I mentionedearlier, we need to appeal to
her largest organ, her mind.
Right? So what does shefantasize about? US downtime to
know what her desires are,right? People change people's
(27:09):
moods and their tastes, theychange as well. discussing your
sexual flavor and downtimeshould be a regular discussion.
An example may be to send yourwife or partner a meme, or a GIF
that speaks directly to herfantasy or her desire. Right?
(27:29):
Too often men send pictures orgifts or whatever, whatever it
might be, that they themselvesfind sexy. And there's nothing
wrong with that. Just remember,if you're trying to plant the
seed, if you're trying for herarousal, it may be something
that she finds sexy, thatactually ignites that flame
(27:52):
right. So when cultivating hermindset, you want to be sure to
send pictures that she findsarousing. It's also important to
send pictures that will also fitthe upcoming scene. So if you're
planning a spanking or an impactscene, for example, send
pictures or gifts thatincorporate some aspect of what
(28:12):
you are going to try to embodyinto that scene. Right? Don't
just send something you think issexy, or even as I suggested
before, just something that isthat she fantasizes about right?
Try to make it on point. Be surewhen sending a picture or a meme
(28:33):
to include a few words are ashort sentence, right? Remember,
guys, we're all visual, right?
We're gonna get aroused when wesee the sexy picture. But a
woman of feminine needs more sheneeds some kind of cultivation
behind the picture. Why are theythere? Right? What's the
(28:54):
fantasy? What can sheanticipate. So don't just send
the picture and think your jobis done right? Send it with a
couple of words or a shortsentence. And those words they
can be dirty, they can be alittle dirty. They don't have to
be dirty at all. But thereshould be something there to
generate some fantasy to allowher mind some creativity for
(29:20):
anticipation. That's what we'retrying to. That's what we're
trying to build is anticipationand arousal. The pictures, the
gifts, the words, the sentences.
Again, I think I've said thisalready, but they should all be
referencing to the upcomingscene. And they should be
thought out enough by you tohave purpose. Again, the main
(29:41):
purpose is to createanticipation and create arousal
for your partner.
Don't forget guys. We also needto woo her. Right that fun, sexy
flirting stuff that you did withher right when you were dating
her, she loved it back then. Andguess what, she still loves it
(30:05):
today, make this fun, keep thisrelationship fun, joke around a
bit. And let her know thatyou're looking forward to the
scene, and how much youappreciate her sexual
submission. Right? Once thewheels of anticipation are in
motion, nothing short of anatural disaster should stand in
your way. A significantattribute to the masculine
(30:27):
energy is accountability. Amasculine leader needs to do
what he says he is going to do.
And he needs to do it when hesays he's going to do it. Do not
ever do not ever take a planscene or a planned event
lightly. Men, we seem to be ableto transition in and out of
(30:47):
things, right without a lot ofthought or a lot of
consideration at the lastminute, as men, we seem to be
able to just justify puttingsomething off to do it another
time. And we feel like it's nota big deal. And to us guys, it
may not be a big deal. However,this is precisely the type of
(31:08):
behavior that sounds the alarmfor the feminine. Right? As we
make these changes just on thefly, it undermines and destroys
that safe place that women needto feel emotionally safe. We
often talk about that safety,right? That safety that the
masculine is meant to provide tothe feminine. That is a major
(31:30):
part of this. In fact, I'm goingto say it again because I feel
that it is so important andoften often misunderstood. Men's
inconsistency is what underminesand destroys the safe place that
women need to feel emotionallysafe. Right, this holds true
when we're planting a seed aswell. So guys, that's gonna wrap
(31:53):
it up today for this episode ofhugs Dom and I hope that I've
planted a seed in your mind onjumping in and leaning forward
in a masculine dominant leadrole in your relationship. And
for those of you listening thatare not yet members of Azzam, I
hope that you consider becominga member of our group of
(32:16):
dominant men. I would enjoychatting with you either in our
zoom live chats or on ourprivate Discord server.
A quick update on l k and i andthis update is one of sorrow and
(32:36):
grief. Last week l k and I losta pony in our ponies name was
pay pay. Pay pay had been withour family for many years. He
used to be a cart pony and wepurchased pay pay so my son
could learn how to ride horses.
There were a lot of great thingsthat I could say about him. But
I think for our family pay paywill be remembered as truly
(33:00):
being a ladies man. He wasalways trying to woo the ladies.
He was a big part in ourfamily's lives and he will be
sadly missed.
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