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March 18, 2025 40 mins

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Have you ever wondered how much honesty plays a role in your relationships? This week, we dive into the transformative power of truth. From personal stories to the psychological motivations behind lying, we explore all angles of honesty. Discover the delicate balance of being truthful while also being kind and considerate, especially in moments that matter.

We discuss why transparency is vital in relationships, highlighting how honest communication can clear misunderstandings and deepen connections. Get ready to challenge yourself as we address the implications of being too honest and the often uncomfortable truths behind our social lives. We want to encourage you to reflect on your honesty journey—are you truthful with yourself and those around you? Your thoughts and experiences matter! Tune in to explore these crucial questions, and leave us your comments or reviews. Help us spread the importance of honesty in our lives!

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, good morning.
Good morning.
Hope you're having a greatmorning on this Tuesday morning
with my wife, tiffany.
This is Brad.
We're the host of the HustleFlow podcast, season two, here
we're just breaking in.
This is our fourth episode thisseason.
Hope you guys have beenlistening to it and enjoying it.
We'd appreciate reviews,five-star reviews, if you think
we've earned them.
And good morning, tiffany.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Good morning.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
How's things going with you?

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Things are going good .
You know I am still in themiddle of play practice for
steel magnolias.
That's been interesting.
You know, in the beginning whenI started I thought there's
absolutely no way I can learn mylines.
And now I'm actually doingpretty well learning my lines.
But now I want to make surethat I'm not just a monotone

(01:05):
fish standing there reading mylines.
So that's been work too, butit's.
It's fun to do something I'venever done before.
I'm trying to think what is mynext thing that I've never done
before?
Going to be it's not going tobe anything like learning to
skateboard, like that's it's itdoesn't need to be anything.
I can tell you that now no, itdoesn't need to be anything that

(01:28):
could cause danger or peril.
So I don't know what is my nextthing, that I'm going to learn
to do, or that I'm going to justattempt to do that I've never
done before I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
That's a good question, right, I think.
But but I like the aspect ofyou thinking I'm going to do
something now.
You know something new,something different, and that's
pretty cool to know that theremay be something else out there.
I mean, who knows?

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Maybe I should learn to dance.
Okay, I would love for it to belike hip-hop breakdance, but I
don't know that that's going tobe attainable, so maybe I need
to learn country western linedancing.
I don't know that that's goingto be attainable, so maybe I
need to learn country westernline dancing.
I don't know.
Just something useful, pleasedo.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Please do.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I don't know that we'll ever forget the Olympics
and the breakdance lady and justhow crazy and off the wall that
was.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Horrible.
Well, this morning, our subjectis going to be the power of
honesty.
Well, this morning our subjectis going to be the power of
honesty, and we're going to talkabout just the power in being
honest as a person.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
the power of being honest to each other and to
other people.
I just started thinking aboutthat in context with even me
running lines, sometimes measking you, how'd that sound?
And you've got to say, well,it's okay, but not just saying,
saying that was terrible, thatwas just you re-say that or redo
that, or even in in things wedo sometimes and try just being

(02:54):
honest.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
That immediately just came up yeah, because I think
that's important.
But we do think the power ofhonesty is important and we're
going to talk about that.
We're excited too.
We're actually this seasonwe're going to bring some guests
on, and so we're working with acouple people right now
actually two or three otherpeople but I'm trying to nail
down some schedules.
I've got my boy, katie hill, andif you're an person, you know

(03:16):
who katie is.
Katie's a phenomenal guy andexcited to be able to have katie
on.
So hoping that that'll manifestreal soon, working with his
schedule.
And then I'm just going to beable to have KD on.
So we're hoping that'llmanifest real soon, working with
his schedule.
And then I'm just going to behonest with you.
I'm not sure.
I don't know the lady's namebecause she's only known as
Leratom Fitness L-E-R-A-T-O-M.
Leratom Fitness on Instagramand I've contacted her.

(03:40):
She's from the UK and she'sagreed to come on the podcast.
She to her she's from the ukand she's agreed to come on the
podcast.
Um, she is.
She describes herself as a plussize fitness enthusiast and, uh
, she's got an incredible storyand we've talked about her a
little bit.
But I'm excited to be able toget her on and and talk about
that.
So her and katie will be acouple great guests coming up
soon, uh, and then tiffanyworking on a couple of things as

(04:01):
well, and we're excited aboutthat.
So, uh, we, so we're lookingforward to this season, because
this season, I think, is goingto bring some clarity to what
Hustle Flow looks like, and I'mpretty excited about that.
So let's hop in and talk aboutthe power of honesty.
Let's just hop right in.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
You know this one, like for me, you know my whole
life people have said well she's, they've described me as real
blunt, and or she says whatevershe's thinking, or all those
things.
Sometimes those things are usedto.
Sometimes I feel like that's anunfair rap.

(04:39):
I don't know that I'mnecessarily getting ahead of
myself anywhere, Cause I wasjust thinking about this just
now, like just because I'venever been afraid to tell the
truth.
You sometimes get a bad rap.
They'll just, you know they saywhatever, or they're just,
they're real blunt.
Now, being blunt also cansometimes I had to really work

(04:59):
to reel that in, because inlearning, when I don't need to
speak at all, just because itmay be the truth or I think it
needs to be said or whatever,but those tie into being, I
guess, a person who is notafraid of honesty.

(05:19):
Sometimes because you're blunt,You're not afraid to say what
it is you're thinking.
If you're in a meeting andeverything you're hearing in
that meeting just sounds likenonsense, you're not afraid to
say can we stop for a second andreally think about that,
Because I don't think that'sgoing to work like you think
that's going to work Instead ofthe person that just sits there

(05:41):
and is afraid to speak up andsay they've not thought any of
that through.
That's not going to work,whatever the situation is.
Does that make sense?
Absolutely Okay.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
So here's my question then All right, so if you're
known as that person who foryour whole life has been blunt
or outspoken or whatever, wheredid that come from for you?
How did that originate?
So I mean, you're nine yearsold, you're 10 years old, and I
have always been that person.
Have you really?
Yes, that's interesting to mebecause when I look at your

(06:14):
pictures sometime when you wereyounger because I only started
we started dating when you were16.
So that's when I got to knowTiffany.
I don't know 13-year-oldTiffany.
I don't know 13-year-oldTiffany.
I don't know 9-year-old Tiffany.
The Tiffany that I see in apicture is just a sweet-looking
little girl holding a cat,petting a cat, and so if I look

(06:34):
at that picture, I probablywouldn't assume that that little
girl was an outspoken person.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Well, maybe not necessarily that, but by fifth
or sixth grade?
Yes, definitely.
I think this is the first thingthat comes to mind and this may
be so off the wall.
I guess I didn't have a healthydose of self-preservation and
enough, maybe, sense to thinkwell, they're not going to think

(07:00):
of you, You're going to bethought of as different or
whatever.
If you say something that mayneed to be said or that you're
going to be thought of asdifferent or whatever.
If you say something that mayneed to be said or that you
think needs to be said, like Isaid, I've had to learn
everything I said before the ageof whatever.
A lot of it probably did notneed to be said and we'll talk
about that, but I think I justwasn't as concerned with what

(07:20):
anybody thought about me to notspeak what was on my mind yeah
because sometimes that that goesin with that.
You know, being truthful andhonest can be also speaking
what's on your mind and notbeing afraid to speak what's on
your mind that's interesting toto think of it that way, that
that maybe you didn't thinkabout self-preservation, um, you

(07:41):
know, and that's well, I wasthe.
This is obnoxious and I do notrecommend it, but I was the kid
that, like if my english teacherwas misspelling words on the
board, I would say, hey, youmiss, you misspelled that.
That's not that way, or?

Speaker 1 (07:59):
sheldon cooper yeah, something I don't know yeah,
that's hilarious, that littleyoung children or whatever.
He's telling his teacher themath is wrong.
She's like no, no, it's not.
And he said, no, no, it is.
And she goes back and checks itand it's wrong.
That's interesting, though.
You know, I was always.
I don't know like I am now, I'man outspoken person now but I

(08:27):
don't think growing up that Iwas outspoken and I don't know
why I don't.
You know, I don't think there'sanything specific, not that I
was a liar, because I don'tremember and maybe I was, I
don't know.
Maybe I was a huge liar and Ijust deceived myself, but I
don't recall myself being knownas a liar, you know.
But I just didn myself.
But I don't recall myself beingknown as a liar, but I just
didn't.
It wasn't, I think, because Ididn't say anything.

(08:48):
People didn't know if I waslying or not.
Now I did tell some lies, justto be honest.
I remember one specific lie andI may have told it on here
before, but telling my teacher Iwent to the Statue of Liberty
in third grade over spring breakwas the biggest lie I'd ever
told.
But anyway, so I have told somelies in my day.
But the power of honesty.

(09:09):
But why do people lie?
I mean, you know, Lots ofdifferent motivations.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
What was it?

Speaker 1 (09:16):
our friend Scott.
Remember what was it Scott usedto say.
He said I love this.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
Yeah, I'd rather.
And he said about himself.
He said I I'd rather climb atree and tell a lie than stand
on the ground and tell the truth.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
And that's the truth, and I'm going to tell you,
liars are.

Speaker 2 (09:30):
He was something else .
He was so colorful and his lieswere sometimes fun, but he also
had such wild things thathappened to him.
You really didn't know what wastrue and what was a lie.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
That's right Colorful .

Speaker 2 (09:44):
He was very colorful A colorful liar?

Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yes, he was.
So people lie for differentreasons, Right?
I mean?

Speaker 2 (09:51):
one of the.
You know you lie to get out ofa speeding ticket.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
You know you've got to get to the bathroom or
whatever else is going on.

Speaker 1 (09:59):
My favorite was I had no idea how fast I was going
and the whole time cruise wasset on 85.
85, that's a low number For you.
It is, yes, it absolutely is alow number.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
I would probably get creative and say this is a new
vehicle for me.
I had no idea how fast it goesJust colorful lines, right.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
Yeah, colorful, Right .
I think people and we've talkedabout this attaining a reward
or maybe something thatotherwise is not attainable, and
so tell me.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
The first thing that comes to mind for me is a
cheater.
Like we do CrossFit and it isknown in the CrossFit world that
sometimes people don't know howto count their reps they're
going to put on the board thatthey did something that they did
not do.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
that's a nice way of saying nobody believes it.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
Everybody's laughing behind because nobody believes
yeah, I've had friends that textme and say, like you know, good
and well, she did not do thatin that time or whatever.
Um and but.
But the thing is is that's it.
And cheating is a lie becauseyou are, you're, you're not
being truthful about whatever itis, so that, so that you could

(11:14):
otherwise like, if you want tobeat everybody on the board and
you're not qualified in whateverit was that day, to beat
everybody on the board, lying,to beat everybody on the board,
just other things like on test,on whatever it is, to get
something that's not attainableotherwise.

(11:35):
It's why we lie sometimes toget in somebody's good graces,
even.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
But you know that's interesting you lie to get
something that's not attainable.
And it could very well be thatit's not attainable for you or
that you're not willing to putin the work to get it.
So you want to lie so you canpretend you've attained
something instead of putting inthe work.

Speaker 2 (11:59):
Well, even something integrity-wise.
Like you know, getting a freemeal at Harvey's is not
attainable.
But if you lie and say therewas a hair in it, well, it may
be then.
But it becomes an integrityissue and I probably digress a
little bit and get a little bitoff of it no, but you're right.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
So I think you know people lie because of that.
They lie to win the admirationof others.
You know approval is needed andI would say say I don't know,
do you think women lie more?

Speaker 2 (12:28):
or men man?
I guess it depends on what it'sabout.
Do men lie about hunting and domen lie about hunting and
fishing?
So how much they can lift?
I know that's a big one.
I can bench 325, I can bench350.
No, neither of you can um, Idon't know, that's a tough one.

(12:51):
I really don't know.

Speaker 1 (12:51):
I guess it depends on what it's about yeah, I guess
so too, but but I know men do.
Women need the approval ofothers as much as men do?

Speaker 2 (13:01):
no, I think.
I do think women probably needapproval more than men do, and
we've had long, lengthyconversations sometimes about
why all that is.
But I think even I think abouteven just lying about your life.
You see all these movies thatare really cute and really funny
about people going back totheir hometown and they rent a
date or they lie about a jobthat they've already lost or all

(13:22):
those things.
But we get, you know, we cansometimes get around people that
we used to know or went toschool with and we immediately
start padding and, you know,exaggerating how wonderful of a
life we have.
Or on Facebook, we may look,make our family look like
they're all so angelic and soprecious and so, whatever, when

(13:42):
in you know, when, in essence,essence, you may not be able to
stand the middle kid that week,or whatever, like yeah, I know,
but um but yeah, no, but youknow you said that that I was
thinking about, and don'tmisunderstand me.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
Like I enjoy going back and visiting old friends
from high school, like when wehave reunions or like we had a
group we've talked about beforewe went and heard a friend of
ours play bluegrass or like bluestuff.
It's cool, you know what I'msaying.
But it is weird, though, whenpeople go back to high school

(14:19):
reunions and those type thingsthat they do have to pad their
life.
You know that it's got.
I've got to make sure I put thegirdle on and I've got to lift
the girls up to where they'resupposed to be and I've got to
make sure, you know.
And I've got to drive this carand I've got to, you know, or
whatever it is.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Well, yeah, because we want to, I guess, show that
we made it.
I was just laughing because Ithink, like for me, all I had to
do was stay out of prison andnot get married six times, and
I've already probably beat somepeople's expectation of where I
would end up in life.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
So you did go and write that book.
I didn't end up in prison, norhave I been married multiple
times.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yeah or not?

Speaker 1 (14:56):
six times.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
Yeah, whatever.
So I think I've probablyalready blown a lot of people's
expectation just because ofdifferent things in my in, in my
life and my upbringing of whereI would land.
So I don't really have to padmuch.
I can just I can just show upand probably I've already beat
the maybe beat the expectation.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
But but you're right.
I mean and I've said thisbefore that social media is such
a liar, it is such a lie, andPeople do not put their failures
out there, except for theperson who just puts all their
garbage on Facebook.
But people don't.
You know, when they take apicture it's and women do this

(15:39):
God bless y'all.
We have to have 64 pictures toget the right one, the right
angle, because that's therunning joke is.
These are the pictures I postedof my husband and it shows him
looking cool over balconies orhim behind this cigar.
He's looking cool and then thewife is looking like all crazy,
the ones that they post.
But you have to put your bestout there because you don't want

(16:01):
your social media friends tothink less of you.
Yeah, and it does.
You have to have the admirationof others, yeah, and, and it
does, you have to have theadmiration of others.
I think getting out of anotheranother reason people lies, they
get out of maybe awkward socialsituations or just getting out

(16:23):
of stuff.
I will give myself away if youtext me or call me and said hey,
bro, do you want to go, or doyou want to go Friday night to
watch these people throwhorseshoes.
I'm going to say I don't know.
Man, I need to ask my wife andsee if we've got plans to check
it out, you know, and becausethe truth is no, I don't want to
go, like I absolutely don'twant to go.
And I heard the John Christhing I showed you yesterday.

(16:45):
He's talking about guys goingon guys trips.
He said they're boringyesterday.
He's talking about guys goingon guys trips.

Speaker 2 (16:51):
He said they're boring he said he's like no, I
don't want to go, like so youget out of social situations.
I think that's funny, becausesometimes we don't.
We just say, no, you know, I Idon't want to go to that or I
don't think that that fits inour schedule right now, or
whatever.
Instead, we've got you know welie.
We've got something going on orsomething real important to do.
That's the night we give ourcat a bath.
Yeah, whatever it is, I can'tmake it.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
I got plans and my plans is.
I'm up under that blanket iswhat it is, but it is the power
of honesty.
How much better would it be andit's not easy, but how much
better would it be if you're myfriend and you call me and say,
hey, would you like to go Fridaynight to, and me just say, no,
I don't really want to go.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah, it would be better, because that's what
we'll talk about eventually.
Just being honest and just, youknow, thinking about just to
like stay at home.
If you've stayed home,sometimes we lie to not be
embarrassed and springboardingoff.
You know, you just not wantingto go, whatever.
I'm sure people make up reasonswhy their spouse is not at

(17:52):
functions instead of saying hereally don't like none of y'all
Zero, he did not want to comebecause he don't like none of
y'all.
Sometimes we've had times, Iknow, at church.
We've asked certain people it'sfunny the reasons people will
come up with why their spouse isnot there.
But then you'll find somebodythat just says says they just
didn't want to come today.
It's too cold, they were in amood they didn't want to come

(18:15):
today, instead of, oh, they'rejust not feeling well or they're
afraid they're coming down withsomething or all the things.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
It's a case of I don't want to come either.

Speaker 2 (18:23):
Yeah, instead of just afraid of embarrassment, just
say I just absolutely did notwant to come, but of
embarrassment to say I justabsolutely did not want to come.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
But I think the power , just power of honesty is so
important, even in the smallthings.
And it is hard Listen, you knowI can't answer for Mike, I
can't answer for you butsometimes it's hard.
Just to be honest.
It is, and I don't know why theworld would be a better place
if we could just be honest.
But lying is so prevalent andit's easy.

(18:53):
Lying is easy and it's reallyeasy just to tell a little fib
or a little just untruth or justkind of, just because you know
there's a lot of reasons.
But why should we be honest?
Why should I be honest with youIf I come home and something
has happened or something is notright or something needs to be
said, why should I be honestwith you?

Speaker 2 (19:15):
Well, I think sometimes honesty can explain.
Let me explain to you why Ibehaved the way I behaved the
other day.
What you didn't know was what Ididn't want to say was this, or
why I said what I said was isbecause we've talked before
about needing to keep the airclear and communicating well
with your spouse.
Maybe know was what I didn'twant to say was this, or why I
said what I said was is becausewe've talked before about
needing to keep the air clearand communicating well with your
spouse.
Maybe you can say, like thereason I've been a little frosty

(19:37):
the last three, three days,just being honest, is because of
this or that.
But instead of just letting asituation continue the way it is
and, in essence, beingdishonest by not being truthful
about something when claritycould make all the difference in
the world, sometimes to certainthings, yeah, it brings clarity

(20:01):
.
I mean, a friend of mine wastelling me that her daughter
cannot stand her boss, and Ithink they finally had, and
she's young, and I think theyfinally had and she's young, and
I think they finally had asituation where she said these
are the reasons why I feel likewe're rubbing each other the
wrong way.
Sometimes, when it comes to meand it's being young and having

(20:24):
that conversation is hard, butit's brought, it's helped the
situation, yeah yeah, and Ithink it does.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
I think, if, if I can .
It's hard to be honest, though,because you know, I think the
last thing I want to do is hurtyou, and whether it is me
telling you the truth aboutsomething you're doing or the
truth about something I'm doing,I don't want to hurt you, and I
think sometimes people get inthat trap of not wanting to hurt

(20:51):
somebody legitimately Right.
But again, if you're honest, itbrings clarity to the situation
and sometimes it really diffusessomething that could really
escalate pretty quick if peopledon't understand, and it's not
making an excuse.
Well, this is why I was abutthole.
This is the information youweren't privy to, and whereas if

(21:15):
, three days ago, if you'd havegiven that information to me, I
might have, could have justpulled back a little bit and not
been up in your grill the wholetime, and then, all of a sudden
, it'd blow up into somethingelse.
So I think being honest bringsclarity.
It also goes back to, maybe inthe same situation, that you
have all the information.

(21:35):
You have all the rightinformation, so that we can
actually have conversation aboutit and not just me holding back
private information, because,listen, any untruth is just
lying and dishonesty, and so Ithink too it it allows me to

(21:56):
release burdens yeah I was.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
I was thinking about that like I thought about this.
There was times in our lifethat you weren't maybe like I
remember when we had flip housesa house in oxford, a house in
tupelo something else was goingon and I think you were carrying
five mortgage notes at one timeand you weren't really I think

(22:21):
you were carrying that burdenalone of how stressful it was to
meet at that point in time.
It was just.
It happens that, especiallybeing like people that do
investment stuff and all that,that sometimes you can have a
point to where you're carrying alot all at one time with the,
with not as much coming in asneeds to come in to cover those
certain things or whatever.
And you were.
You know you carried that alonefor a while that it was hard

(22:46):
for you, but you you didn't wantto put that on me, you didn't
want me worrying too, andsometimes that's been an issue.
I know that happens in marriagea lot.
I didn't want to bother you too.
So you carry the burden aloneinstead of just being honest,
whether it's finances I thinkfinances is probably a big one
sometimes Whoever does thefinances doesn't want to maybe
tell the other person how bad itis, or they don't want to.

(23:08):
I, the other person, like howbad it is, or they don't want to
.
I've, I've, I think we've.
We've talked with somebodybefore that just doesn't want to
tell their spouse no, and sothey don't tell them how bad it
is and how lean it is, and theydon't realize their spouse is
stressed out and they're tryingto pull money from credit cards
and from savings to coverbecause they don't want to tell
their spouse no, and so theyjust carry that stress by

(23:28):
themselves and that's nothealthy either it's not, and and
it you're right for me, evenduring that time, I remember
that I was really, it was reallystressful time in our life and,
uh, you know, that was the timetoo, for the first time in 30
years, that we'd ever been apart.

Speaker 1 (23:45):
Yeah, and uh, you know, because the way our
businesses and our mortgages andour houses and those types of
things were structured it causedyou to have to to go to Oxford
for the week and we were, wewere gone from each other.
It was so it was a bad, badtime, and but you were stressed
out in Oxford by yourself, withemployees in a new business, and
I didn't want to add any extrastress.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
So, yes, and that's probably the key thing there too
sometimes we think we try tosave the other person because we
think they've got a lot ontheir plate and we may try to
save whoever it is.
We may do that, you know, evenwith friendships or other things
, anything we just don't want toadd to it.
Yeah, so we think we're doingthem a favor.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
We think we're doing them a favor, but so we think
we're doing them a favor.
We think we're doing them afavor, but the truth is that
we're not giving them all theinformation.
And I've told you before wetalked about this not too long
ago is that I realized at somepoint you're an adult, you're
going to have to process thisinformation as well, and I think
, especially in marriage.

(24:46):
You know, your name was onthose notes too, but you needed
to know those type the stressthat we were under.
But it releases burden.
It does, just being honest,releases the burden and you
don't have to carry it byyourself.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
Well and two, you know, give the other person some
credit sometimes that maybethey can handle.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
More than you think they can handle and can handle
the burden.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
Yeah, and it's hard, it's very hard.
You know, I think too, justbeing honest, if you're honest,
it attracts honesty.
Yeah, liars usually runtogether a good old group of
liars.
They're a bunch of liarstogether.
You know what I'm saying.
But honest people, I'll saythis If you have an honest

(25:26):
person in your life, if you'vegot an honest spouse, if you've
got an honest friend, if you'vegot an honest pastor, if you've
got an honest uncle, an honestgrandfather, grandmother, if
you've got somebody who's honestin your life, you better latch
on to them, because honesty israre in the world that we live
in today.
Yeah, I was thinking about that.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
You know I'm missing that in my life right now.
I had a friend for years.
That was the kind of friendthat would say you're negative
talking whether it's funny andyou're just kidding, you're
negative talking about yourhusband too much.
Or like, what you put onfacebook is not a good
representation of you.
Yes, what?

(26:06):
Why would you put that on thefacebook today?
For I'm, I have some peoplethat might say something if it
was.
If something they saw me doingor saying or behaving in a way
that's not aligning up with mypersonality is bad enough.
And I'm not talking about you,but I'm talking about like a
girlfriend yeah like I'm, I I've, and I you don't know how bad

(26:27):
you really do miss that untilyou don't have somebody in your
life that that does that for you.
But I'm, I like a mirror, Ilike somebody to.
I'm weird like that, like Ireally and we should be talking
about my perfectionism lately,but because I do want to strive
to you know certain things, likeI like mirrors around me to

(26:48):
tell me you didn't really needto say that, you shouldn't have
said that.
Or, you know, put that onFacebook.
Don't put that on Facebook,that's passive, aggressive or
whatever.
And so it really.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
If you've got somebody in your life that does
that, you really need to begrateful for sure, absolutely,
and I love your description ofit is that honesty is mirrors,
right, man, because most peopledon't look in the mirror because
they don't want to see.
But if you can have a mirror infront of you to give back some
honest feedback, give back somehonest feedback and listen.

(27:26):
Let me be honest with youthere's no more honest mirror
than when you're standing in adressing room at target and tj
maxx is for women.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yes, there's something, they get special
lights that make you look as badas you can possibly, as large
as you can possibly look as if,even if had an ab, no abs to be
found.
I mean seriously Everything.
It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
I'll try a shirt on or something.
And I'm thinking, man, you'relike a troll, bro.
You look like you just come upfrom under the bridge.
It is bad, because you look atthe rack and you think I'm going
to look good in this.
I'm telling you this is a dopeshirt, I'm just going to look
good.
And you get in there and you'rethinking is this what my wife
really sees.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
So we were really better off during COVID when
they didn't let us use dressingrooms, because you could go home
to your natural setting andthen just take it back.

Speaker 1 (28:10):
So, yes, honesty attracts honesty and I think you
need to be grateful for honestpeople in your life and quit
ducking them.
You don't want somebody whopumps you up all the time.
I'm just being honest with you.
I'm not saying that people needto tear you down.
That's not what I'm talkingabout.
You got people who just tearyou down all the time.
Move away from that crap.
Yeah, just move away.
But if you got somebody whowould just be honest with you

(28:30):
and said, hey, if you got afriend that will text love on,
that's a friend you need torespect.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
I also hope my kids listen to this one, because I
try to be very honest with themand they don't always want me to
be At.

Speaker 1 (28:45):
Dixie at Amaris, at Kay, at Brianna.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
I know that, like they pulled me, the sisters
pulled me into their argumentyesterday and they know by now
they may.
I don't know if I wish I couldbe, but I'm not.
I'm not the mom that'll justsay I know, baby, that was not
right, they shouldn't have donethat to you.
I'm the mom that'll go.
No, you brought that onyourself.
You shouldn't have said or youshouldn't have done.

(29:10):
And so they tried to pull me inyesterday and I said no, do you
want me people?
Yeah, and I think it's a reallygood thing.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
I think the other thing is that honesty gives you
trust, right?
Because if you can be honestwith me even though I don't want
to hear it, that means I cantrust you.
If you're going to tell me ohyeah, that's great, I think
that's a great idea.
I think you should start gotraining monkeys training
monkeys, you know, I thinkthat's a really good idea.

(29:44):
Go take our last $40,000 andbuy a couple monkeys, and I
think that that would be perfect.
I think you'd be a great monkeytrainer.
I can't trust you.
I can't trust you, but if youcan say hey, listen, have you
really thought about that?
Like number one, you don'treally like animals.
They kind of stink to you andyou don't really care for them.
And I don't really want youtaking our last $40,000 of mine
to monkeys and I just don'treally think that that's kind of
your personality.
I can trust you because thatmeans that you'll tell me the

(30:06):
truth about if you and that'sthe.
I think that's it If you'lltell me the truth about small
things, then I can trust you totell me the truth about big
things as well.

Speaker 2 (30:14):
Yeah, and this one.
This one is pretty deep, butwe've talked about this and
we've talked about this in ourmarriage talks.
You need to be truthful withyour spouse to gain trust, even
when it's something that youknow they're not going to react
well.
When it maybe comes to theopposite sex it's.
We developed a habit of beingabsolutely transparent with each

(30:35):
other.
When somebody makes us feelweird or uncomfortable, we feel
like somebody from the oppositesex was getting a little too
flirty, a a little too in ourspace for too long.
If they message us or whatever,we do not hide those things.
But you know that you can trustme.
We also have 100% like.
We don't lie about social media.
Our phones are laying aroundwith each other's password all
the time.

(30:55):
You can pick mine up at anytime.
All those kinds of things We't,we don't, we don't get caught.
You know, erasing that, forgotto erase something and all those
, all those things.
But we've been.
We're very transparent, evenwhen we, with situations like
that yep, and it's not easy.
Now and listen, I'm never gonnafind out that somebody at the

(31:17):
gym went, come over to whereyou're at and stayed way too
long throughout the whole timeyou were walking on the air
runner.
I'm going to find out from youfirst before.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
I find out from anybody else, that's it.
You're not going to find outfrom Citizen A over here.
I just want you to know thatSister Soso, she was up in his
grill, right, I'm going to comehome and tell you, hey, she was
up in my grill and, like youknow so, but it's not easy,
right?
Because I mean honestly, likewhen you tell me that and let's

(31:48):
just say it when you, you knowyou're a beautiful woman, but
when you say that somebody madeyou feel uncomfortable, I don't
think.
Well, thank you for telling methat.
I just I want you to know that.
That just makes me trust youand feel, and it does, but it

(32:11):
makes me.
I have an anger problem thatI've had to work on.
It makes me want to go down towherever this person is and give
them a sandwich, a knucklesandwich, and that's not the
right thing, probably, but it'sso.
I have to work on that becausethen, if I always overreact, it
causes you not to want to tellme, not because you want to be

(32:31):
dishonest, but because you knowthat I may overreact to the
honesty.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
That's the main reason sometimes women will
withhold that information isbecause sometimes guys do give a
whole.
It can go both ways, yeah women,yeah, because I, I know
somebody, we, yeah, we havesomebody closely connected to us
that she is a huge overreactorto every, everything, like when
it comes to the opposite sexwith her, with her husband.

(32:55):
It can go both ways, but that'sI think that's what happens.
Sometimes a spouse willwithhold something or lie oh no,
I didn't even see them, Ididn't know were they even there
.
Well, those things becausethey're afraid of the
overreaction and even what itmay cost them, like, are you
going to be mad at me becausesomebody at the gas station said
hey, have you got a man?

(33:16):
You know, I loved the thing Isaw the other day at the gas
station and I'm kind of agingout of being hit on at the gas
station, I think.
But I saw the thing the otherday.
Like, when he asked you at thegas station hey, you got a man,
you just look around and go.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
I am a man.
Yeah, you don't have to worryabout it anymore.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Yeah, and that cuts that off there.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
But that's it.
If a person is honest with you,whether it's your spouse, your
friend, family, whatever it is,you have to learn how to react
and not overreact to theinformation and not become a
murderous rage that you want togo down and just cut somebody's
stuff off and fight, and if theyput a hand on you, that's a
different story.
But we're just talking aboutuncomfortableness and the power

(34:05):
of honesty, when it comes toeven marriage or friendship.
And you know, I think too, canyou tell too much truth?
Yes, okay, you can be toohonest.
Yeah, now, because you knowthose old people too honest.
Yeah, now, because you knowthose old people.

(34:26):
You've heard it said I'm justtelling the truth.
I'm just telling the truth thatyou hear those people.
I'm just, I'm just, I'm justtelling the truth, yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
Cause that goes back to what I said I used to could
be one of those people.
I'm just telling, I'm justtelling the truth.

Speaker 1 (34:34):
You know I'm just saying what everybody's thinking
and there's nothing wrongsometimes with saying what
everybody's thinking, becausethere are people who are afraid
to say something and it's fineto speak up.
You know what I'm saying.
But you know, if you're just abutt and you just got to tell
the truth about everything allthe time, like you can tell too
much truth, you can be too muchtrue, you can have too much.
And I think you know the Biblesays it talks about you know

(35:00):
being careful and having somewisdom and you have to have
wisdom when you talk to people.
You know you got to be carefulwhat you say, and I'm not
talking about you lie or you'renot, you're dishonest, but you
just got to be careful in howyou say things the Bible talks
about.
You know saying things in loveand you have to speak your mind
and tell everything that's onyour plate to a person.

(35:22):
You know you're pretty ugly.
I just want you to know that.
You know.
I know the TJ Max smears makeyou think you're ugly, but in
person you're really ugly andyou know the water on your nose
really doesn't do justice andyou've got a lot of gray hair
and you've really got like hairon your chest as a woman, or you
know your knuckles Sometimesthat stuff's not necessary.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
It's just not necessary and I think you have
to ask yourself weigh out theresults when you're, when you're
talking, you got to weigh outthe results or maybe what could
happen by by telling this personthis information in this way
yeah, and because, well, and Ithink if you are a person that
tends to tell the truth, you dohave to have some restraint and
discipline and think through allthe things of what the

(36:07):
consequences can be if you'retoo honest, like what's your
motivation for?

Speaker 1 (36:13):
saying what you're going to say, what's your
motivation?
You know, is it mean, is ithurtful?
You know, does this really needto be said?

Speaker 2 (36:22):
Yeah, somebody, and I'm almost positive they're not
listening.
And if they are, know, doesthis really need to be said?
Yeah, somebody, and I I'malmost positive they're not
listening.
If they are, then maybe theyneed to hear it.
But you know, somebody a fewweeks ago said to me that I'm
I'm getting, that they're soglad that I'm keeping the weight
off because I'm getting prettyagain.
Wow, and I know that I am onein two million women who have

(36:43):
heard comments like that oryou've got a pretty face, or
yeah, just a little thick downin the bottom there you know,
grandparents can be the worst totell you, like those kind of
things, like you, you, my, my,uh, papa judd, he used to.
That's what he would say.
So you're fleshing up a littlebit Fleshing up Things like that
.
But what is the motivation ofsaying what we're saying?

(37:08):
Because you could just simplysay you look great.
I know you put in a lot of hardwork and lost that weight.
You look great.
Pretty then pretty now yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
You don't even have to use the word pretty, you can
just say say you look great, andlet's just say that went around
our family group text for awhile.
It was, uh, our kids went tofight, so uh.
But you know, I think that's itto.
To finish up here, and I'mgonna let you have the last word
, you have to have wisdomwhenever you're talking.
But there's no substitute forhonesty, none.

(37:40):
Integrity and honesty, thoseIntegrity and honesty, those
things go hand in hand, and Iwant to be able to, as a husband
, I want to be able to trust you, I want to be able to trust
Mike.
I won't be able to trust mybuddy Keith, and the only way
that happens is when you'rehonest and you can just but

(38:00):
that's it.
I have to be receptive to yourhonesty and have to be able to
hear you.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
So, final word, Final word is I think we have to love
people in our life enough to behonest with them, and then I
think we need to make sure we'reletting them know that what
we're saying is because we lovethem that much and we don't want
them to fall into danger orsomething bad to happen.
You know, we've had somesituations we've heard of

(38:28):
recently of people that have hadto tell some, some people, some
married folks hey, you need toknow this about what's going on.
It's not easy, it's not hard.
You've had to give somefeedback to somebody recently
because you knew they reallyneeded to know it and we're
still kind of fun no, and we'restill kind of in the throes of
that, still being a littleuncomfortable and icky.
but in all those situations Ithink people that's it.

(38:50):
They've loved people enough tospeak the truth to them and if
that's your motivation, then youneed to have the courage and
the boldness if you've thoughtit out to say what you've got to
say because you loved them.
I don't want to be the personfor sure that said I could have
told them that and spared themfrom hurt or danger or something

(39:11):
else in their life if I wouldhave spoken the truth,
absolutely yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
The power of honesty.
It's a real thing and we justwant to encourage you to love
each other and be honest witheach other.
Hey, thank you so much forlistening thing and we just want
to encourage you to love eachother and be honest with each
other.
Hey, thank you so much forlistening today and we do
appreciate your time and if youfind people going the way you
want to go, hop in the flow andgo with them and find the hustle
together.
Thank you for listening.
No-transcript.
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