All Episodes

February 18, 2025 39 mins

Send us a text

This episode focuses on five essential rules that can enhance marital relationships and promote joy. We share insights on the importance of having fun, speaking positively about your spouse, being slow to speak and quick to forgive, communicating goals and dreams, and the continual journey of getting to know each other.

• Emphasizing the necessity for fun to foster connection 
• Encouraging individuals to speak well about their spouse 
• Discussing the importance of being slow to speak and quick to forgive 
• Highlighting the value of communicating goals and objectives 
• Acknowledging the ongoing process of getting to know one another

Support the show

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2312581/support

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Hey, good morning.
Good morning, this is Brad andI'm with my wife Tiffany.
What's happening?
Tiff, just a day.
A day in the world right.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yeah, we just went through all the snow and ice and
12 degrees and now today, Ithink the high is 63.
A week later, mississippi,where you can have four seasons
in the span of a week?

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Absolutely.
Somebody told me you ran in 11degree weather.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Yeah, was it 11?

Speaker 1 (00:46):
11, yeah, I don't know it was cold, it was cold,
it was cold, hey, but you know,you just get out there and have
fun, right?

Speaker 2 (00:53):
well, running is fun to you.
I'm still not, and I took itdown off of my post the other
day when I was talking aboutrunning that running is um.
The only two things that arefun about running to me is the
community and the finish line.
So fun I don't.
I think, though, I had such abad um what I can't think of the
word a bad idea about runningfor so long and I said I hate it

(01:17):
.
I hate it, I hate it.
I don't know yet that I've,I've, I may even like it, but I
don't know, because I've toldmyself I hated it, and you know,
you tell yourself you don'tlike a certain food, I don't
like that, and you don't want totry it.
And then you eat it and you'vealready got your mind framed
that way to where it's bad, andyou haven't even tasted it yet.
So I think I've got my mindstill framed all this time that

(01:38):
I hate running and running isstupid, that I haven't flipped
the switch to say oh, running isfun, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
But sometimes running is stupid.
So sometimes it's stupid.
But hey, good morning.
Thank you for listening to usand hearing us ramble about
silly stuff sometimes.
But I want to talk this morningabout five rules for a great
year in marriage.
And we just want to have funthis morning, have a little
light conversation and just talkabout marriage and what can
make your marriage better thisyear.

(02:04):
And you know, for me I don'tknow about you, but for me last
year was a good year in marriage.
I actually had a really goodyear.
It was a—I don't know thatthere was anything specific that
stood out.
You know we celebrated 33 yearsand that's not necessarily 30
or 35 or whatever, but it wasjust a good year.
We had a grandbaby last year,we started a podcast last year,

(02:28):
we did a lot of fun things andjust had a good time together
last year.
So that's going to be whatwe're talking about this morning
, but before we do, I want youto tell me about your new
endeavor that you started andwhat you're doing the march 21st
, 2nd, 23rd.

(02:49):
Tell me about what you've gotyourself into yes.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
So you and other people kept tagging me in the
auditions for um, the tryoutsfor steel magnolias, and I kept
saying absolutely not, I do notwant to do that, I don't have.
I, very fortunate.
I do not mind being in front ofpeople.
That I don't.
I don't get stage fright, Idon't have a problem speaking in
front of people.
However, I like to do thingsperfectly.

(03:14):
So my fear is not standing infront of you, it's standing in
front of you and doing somethingperfectly.
And so I thought there's justno way I can stand in front of
people and do that perfectly.
But I thought you know just noway I can stand in front of
people and do that perfectly.
But I thought you know what I'mgoing to try out.
And I tried out, hoping Iwouldn't get it.
I just wanted to say I hadtried out, I've tried out.
I've never tried out fortheater, but I tried out and I

(03:36):
was brave.
So I did a monologue out of ErinBrockovich.
Is that right?
Yeah, and then they emailed methat night and offered me a part
.
And I never saw the email.
And so the next day, the ownerof the studios, the theater, she
said hey, you did good lastnight.

(03:57):
I said, oh thanks, and she kepttalking.
She said so, do you want tomaybe respond to your email and
let us know if you're taking thepart?
I said, oh my gosh, I didn'teven know, and I checked my
email several times so I did getoffered the part of Malin.
That is going to be new.
I mean, everybody wants Weezerand Steel Magnolias because
that's just so fun.

(04:17):
But after hearing her lines andsome of her stuff, I think I am
probably best suited for Maliaand I like the fact that that is
a role that can resonate withme.
I was telling you yesterdaythat I'm noticing that she likes
to control her children alittle bit.
It sounds like her daughter andI can identify with that,
having three girls, becausesometimes I want them to do what

(04:39):
I tell them to do and theyshould do it the way I said.
But I can, and she's Southernand she's a lot of things that I
can resonate with and so Ithink that honestly, that that's
gonna be the right role for me.
It is gonna be scary to do itand to memorize everything, but
yes, it's gonna run for twoweekends.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
But that's something new.
It's very new.
You're stepping out of yourcomfort zone, I am out of my
comfort zone, but it's awesome,and so what's funny is, on the
converse of that, is that I'vestarted a new venture.
I've started writing a fictionbook and, if you know me, I'm a
pragmatic guy.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yeah, you hate fiction books.
I always try to get you to readsomething.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
No, absolutely not.
I call them fake books.
Yeah, and I started writing afiction book, a fiction book
about a megachurch pastor and Ican give it away, but not too
much A megachurch pastor whodies and they find his diary and
the name of the book is thePastor Diary D-I-E-R-Y and it's

(05:39):
a play on diary.
And they find his diary, theygive it all away and it comes
out that he is doing some thingsthat nobody would know.
So it's been fun.
It's based in Houston, texas,and it's going to be interesting
.
It may really suck and it mayfall flat, but you know, I could
see it as a Netflix man.
That would be awesome.

(05:59):
So, anyway, that'd be cool.
Yeah, it's going to be fun, butwe're just doing different
stuff because, you never know,we're the type of people you
throw something against the walland if it sticks, man, that's
awesome.
If it don't, then you think,well, that was bad, let's throw
something else against the wall.
So, anyway, but we're going totalk this morning about five
rules for a great marriage.
Now, are these hard and fastrules?

(06:19):
Are these the only rules for agreat marriage?
Well, are these the only rulesfor a great marriage?
Well, of course not.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
No, because you know we've done a lot of marriage
podcasts and so this one is notreally as heavy.
It's just maybe beginning.
You know this is the beginningof the year we're still in
January right now and just somethings to think of going forward
.
They're not the five only rules, or the five serious rules even
, but they're just five, youknow.

(06:44):
Just some things to think about.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Generalization.
So let's hop in Number one havefun In your marriage.
A great marriage has fun.
What does that look like foryou?
That's a good question.
I mean, I know what it lookslike for me, but what is having
fun in a marriage or having funwith your spouse?
What does it look like for you?
Yeah, Okay.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
So I'm going to completely contradict myself
here, because I was just sayingthat running is not fun.
But we kind of have fun when werun together, because I make
you talk to me.
Yeah, you do, and the firsttime you'll take your headphones
out for a second, you'll gowhat did you say?
And then you'll do it a secondtime.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
And like out for a second, you go what, what did
you say?
And then you'll do it a secondtime and then a third time.
I think you just give up.
I do just take them off and cutthem off because I like we're
gonna talk, yeah, the whole time.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Of course you're always telling me if you're
talking you're not running fastenough.
But I'm running.
I would rather talk and runthan run fast and run.
So, yeah, so we try to makethat fun sometimes.
That's's, you know, one of thethings we do, and you know I
like to have fun and I am fun,but I have to get creative of

(07:52):
how to have like fun in marriagesometimes Right.

Speaker 1 (07:55):
What do you mean by that?
So give me an example.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
We don't always think the same things are fun.
No, we do not.
No, like you want to sit andwatch a baseball game and that's
fun for you.
Well, that's not fun to me,unless I'm.
You know the food, the what,what are we eating there?
That's the fun, you know, forme, right?
but we don't always like andit's, it's um, I had a grieving

(08:20):
process and it really hurt, butdirt cheap closed and that was
fun for me and I would dirtybird yeah, like every time we
were out of town anywhere, evenon my birthday, if we were in
birmingham for the day, like wewould make sure we went to dirt
dirt cheap and I would make yougo in with me, not sit in the
car, because that's fun for me.
So that's why I like everythingthat's fun for me is not fun
for you.

(08:40):
So we have to get creativesometimes to have fun together.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Well, and I think that's it.
So we have to find ways that wecan have fun together, that
it's not just one-sided fun,right?
Because on my story the otherday, or in my memories or
whatever, I had taken a pictureof you in Dirt Cheap and I said,
careful boys, it's a woman inher natural habitat or something
like that.
And it was Dirt Cheap.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
But you're right, I mean things that are fun for me
may not be vice versa, but youhave to find things that you can
enjoy together, like and we'restill exploring that We've said
we're going to get.
We've talked to Carrie Simmons.
We said we're going to get golflessons.
We tried pickleball, but youwere going to make it
competitive and not fun, so thatwas not going to work for us.
Which?

Speaker 1 (09:19):
is fun for me.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Yeah, we're still.
We're still trying to find some, some things to make sure that
we don't get stagnant and thatwe keep trying to find things to
have fun together.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
But you know, like we like experiences and we'll go
just, and we've said before,it's not about spending a bunch
of money, right, ok, maybe youdo.
You know that's cool, but it'snot always about spending a
bunch of money.
It's about for us findingunique experiences that we can
just go do.
That memory is there.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
You said that We've talked about it before.
One of the most fun things thatwe did is we went to an
abandoned town down in SouthMississippi.
We walked all over that.
We've actually done twodifferent ones.
I can't remember the other onewhere it was at.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
Catawba over in Alabama.

Speaker 2 (10:06):
That was at Catawba over in Alabama.
That was it.
But you know, just walkingaround that abandoned town and
those outbuildings, that didn'tcost a dime.
If we'd have went somewhere weweren't supposed to on that
property, it would have cost usa fine if we got in trouble,
because I like a little trespasshere and there.
But I think that started beinga realtor because you would have
to get into houses that werevacant when they would send you
out or like whatever, and so Idon't know, maybe that's where
my love of trespass come from.

(10:27):
But yeah, just finding thosefun things and they don't always
have to be expensive, so havefun.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Have fun.
Fun is an important thing.
And listen, laugh together.
You know we have inside jokesand we have inside text and even
at church last night she wastexting me stuff and I'm like,
oh my God, stop, stop, stop,stop, stop.
It's funny, but I got topretend that I'm like not paying
attention to it so I can readit because it pops up on my
watch first and I'm like, oh myGod, what is that?

(10:52):
And I'm having to look at it.
But but you need to have funand laugh together.
You need to find somecommonality and just have fun.
When is the last time and youask yourself this with your
spouse and I'm not talking aboutwhen you went on a date and you
went to eat?
That's fine, I mean, that maybe good, that may be fun and
that's cool but when is the lasttime you really had fun
together, Like real fun, and nomatter what that looks like, it

(11:15):
don't have to be anything crazySerious Just when is the last
time you had fun?
Great marriages have fun andthey really really are able to
gel together in those momentsand not just the moments where
there's tears or where there'shurt or there's pain but they
also can laugh together and grow, and I think fun is important.
So what else?

Speaker 2 (11:34):
Speak well about your spouse.
I think the older I get, thisreally bothers me and gets on my
nerves.
And I'm looking to get to theage nerves and and say I'm
looking to get to the age I wastelling my girls, like at what
age can you address people inwalmart that are acting crazy
and get by with it?
Or you can just say things topeople that you think they need
to hear and get by with it.
I'm 51, I don't know if I'mquite there yet, but this is off

(11:57):
.
This is like off a little bit,but I heard this woman speaking
terrible to her children inwalmart and I stood there and I
stared and I thought am I oldenough to go over there and say
do we need to stop and pray fora minute?
Are you having a bad day?
What's going on here to causeyou to act like this?
Because I don't know that I'mquite at that age yet to get by
with it.
But going back to speaking wellabout your spouse, like this

(12:17):
bothers me sometimes and theolder I get and like the more we
grow in marriage and the morein love we are, this bothers me.
It's fine to do a little funny,like, as long as they're not
hurtful or mean.
But the serious stuff you know,um, hey, like I hadn't seen
your wife at the gym lately, no,she's just sitting at home
getting fat and all she does iseat.

(12:38):
Like that just bothers me sobad.
Like things, little littlethings like that.
You know, I know you had anencounter with someone and we
won't we can't go into detailabout that, but it just blew
your mind.
No, we can't, we can't.
We have listeners that listen,but you know it blew your mind,

(12:59):
the things that the husband wassaying about his wife, and you
told me and we both were just inshock.
And so speak, speak well aboutyour spouse.
You know, and you speak wellabout your spouse in front of
people.
They'll live up to that.
Sometimes too, it may not be100 percent, but like he is a
great man, he is so, like he hasso much wisdom and he's so.

(13:20):
Whatever, you know some of thethings you say they'll hear and
they'll hear how you speak aboutthem.
And I think you know some ofthe things you say they'll hear
and they'll hear how you speakabout them.
And I think you know I need Ididn't know I was doing great at
that, but I want to, I want tobe that, I want to rise up to
that.
So speak, speak well.
I mean, I'm sure you havesomething to say about that.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
Well, no, I think I think you, your spouse, listens
to what you say.
They hear what you say and theyhear what you say to other
people about them, whether youthink they're listening or not,
those little subtle jabs thatyou know, you say, are those
things.
Like you know it's, it's justone of those things.

(13:55):
It gets personal sometimes andyou have to speak well to your
spouse.
You know, and again, I'memotional guy, like I'm a
romantic guy.
I say more nice, romanticthings to you probably than you
do, just because that's mynature and you know, even on
Facebook I may post somethingsweet about you or post a
picture of you because Igenuinely love you and I

(14:16):
genuinely feel those things inthat moment.
You know, I've seen people sayyou know, sign of a good
relationship is not seenanywhere on Facebook, and that's
just not true.
Sometimes, you know, I want topeople say you know, sign of a
good relationship is not seenanywhere on Facebook, and that's
just not true.
Sometimes, you know, I want tospeak well of you.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
Yeah, because some people you don't even know
they're married, they don't eversay you never know they have a
spouse.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
You're like.
You don't say they're married.
What is this?
You know, and so you know I'mnot talking about you.
Got to go on and on and on.
On Facebook post about yourspouse is actually nice.
It lets people know hey, thisis, this is what I think about
this person.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
Yeah, I gotta do better at that sometimes.

Speaker 1 (14:54):
Oh, it's okay, I don't, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I
don't need it.
I'm just telling you thatthat's that's for people who
deal with that.
But I think, speaking well ofyour spouse, even when I'm
talking to people who may notknow you, I want to make sure
that I that, that I don't andhere's the thing I don't
embellish, I don't make youbetter than you are.
That's, I know that sounds likethat's terrible, that's awful.

(15:16):
No, I just tell them the truth.
She's a wonderful person, she'sbeautiful, she's intelligent,
she's smart, she's a go-getter,she's caring.
I just want to be funny.
I don't care about any of that,and inadvertently sometimes, you
, you're funny, but I, I, Ithink for the most part, the
thing I tell people about you isthat you're probably one of the

(15:36):
most caring people that I know.
That's probably your mostendearing trait, that and I'm
just going to say it becausepeople assume that because
you're tough and you're you,you're you, you, you are
outspoken that you're not caringor you're not kind but probably
for me, as your husband, yourmost endearing trait is what you

(16:00):
, how much you care for somebodyand and they may not, people
may not even be able to see thatparticular thing sometimes, but
I know it and I see it and itis, it is.
It is a really really goodtrait.
But I know it and I see it andit is, it is.
It is a really really goodtrait.
So thank you for being thatperson.
Well, thank you yeah.
Thank you.
So talk well about your spouse.
You know, if they're fat andlazy, don't call them fat and

(16:20):
lazy.
Tell them you're a man of God.
You know you're going to beable to do this.
I'm telling you you'll get off.
You speak well about them andalso speak well to them.
I think that's important too.
So you know, the other thing Ithink to have a great marriage
is not only speak well aboutyour spouse, but you need to be
slow to speak and quick toforgive, and what does that look

(16:41):
like for you?

Speaker 2 (16:45):
Well, we talk so much , we know each other so well.
Sometimes we can talk verycasually and sometimes you can
say some crazy stuff, but, yes,and so I have to say, okay, what
, what do you mean?
Like how, what did you, whatare you talking about, or
whatever.
And it's not that.

(17:06):
And then I listen and it's notexactly like what I thought you
were trying to say or somethinglike that.
And so I think just slow, toslow to speak, sometimes, even
even if you're angry, if you'vebeen doing something that's just
been driving me up the wall andI'm angry.
Be slow to speak, instead ofjust getting mad and, you know,

(17:26):
slamming something down andflying off the handle about it.
Be slow to speak and say, ok,we got it.
Can we take a second to talkabout this?
This is how I've been feelingabout this.
I don't want it to get out ofhand.
I don't want resentment tobuild.
I don't like staying angry Likelet's, let's talk about this
and then talk through it andwhatever it is.
Be quick to forgive and evensometimes, if you don't have the

(17:47):
conversation, if something was,if something is just going on
with your spouse and maybethey're not having a great day
not, you know, don't take thatpersonal.
Just be quick to forgive andmove on.
Um, you know, because let's youknow, we're together a lot and
I know I don't, I can't imagine,I don't know what those things

(18:07):
are, but I'm sure there's thingsI do every once in a while that
get on your nerves.
No never, and the only reason Isay that is because there's
things that you do sometimesthat get on my nerves, and so
I'm trying to learn how to talkand go.
This is a good man.
This is a man who's very loyalto you, he's very loyal to his
family, he always has your bestinterest at heart, and so so

(18:30):
what if this small thinghappened?
Move on.
What does it matter?
What is it going to mattertomorrow?
What is this big enough to tokeep going over in your head or
have an issue about?

Speaker 1 (18:41):
no, okay, then then move on yeah, and it's hard, man
, being slow to speak is one ofthose things.
It is so hard because everytime you get on my nerves,
there's so many things I justwant to say and I'm like that
ain't true, that's a lot, thatoh, oh, oh.
And you know how it is, becausein your mind you're like oh, oh

(19:02):
, oh, oh, come on, come on,finish, finish.
And then, like you'll saysomething I think you're
finished.
I'll say something You're goingto let me finish, I think
you're finished.
I'll say something You're goingto let me finish.
And I'm like hurry up, becauseI want to say but, but being
slow to speak, I think what I'mlearning is that if I will
slowly process the informationand just say you know what, even

(19:23):
though I think that she's fullof it, and that is not true If I
say what I'm thinking right now, this thing is going to turn
from a one or two to a 12, on ascale from one to 10.
And then we're going to betalking about each other's mama,
and then we're going to betalking about you said and you

(19:45):
didn't and you never, and thatis your right being slow to
speak and it's hard.
So I'm not here to tell youthat we've fixed all that,
because it is hard to do thatand a lot of men.
This is how you know if a manwants to see if you've forgiven
him or not, he'll wake up thenext morning like nothing ever
happened.
You ever had that happen.

Speaker 2 (20:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
You go to bed and you know she's mad, she's pulled
the covers over there, don'ttouch me, don't look at me,
don't even let your foot comeover here.
And then you're like the nextmorning you just wake up.
Hey, darling, how are you?
Everything good, can I get yousomething?
And you pretend nothinghappened.
And so if she has forgiven youand she moves on, then you're
like, thank Jesus.
But it comes back up at somepoint too.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
But I think but no, not really.
If you're quick to forgive,then you.
Then you need to forgive and itdon't need to come back up, but
it will because you want totalk about it.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
Let's talk about that .
But I do think you're right.
It's being slow to speak andquick to forgive, and being
quick to forgive is a godlytrait, you know.
Not holding on to bitterness,not holding on to bitterness,
not holding on to resentment,just saying you know what you're
right, unless it's a majorsituation like that that you
really have to process and workthrough.
If somebody just makes you mad,or they don't go your way and

(21:01):
they're having a bad day, oryou're having a bad day, look,
just wake up.

Speaker 2 (21:04):
Tomorrow let's go get it again yeah, I think holding
on to small grievances is.
You know, I wonder if if's justyou just want to be miserable
or you want to be not happy,because holding on to small
grievances and not moving on isjust harmful to you too and it

(21:25):
blocks you being happy andhaving joy.
So it's, I mean it's pointlessto hold on to small grievances,
it's harmful.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
It is One of my favorite reels.
Man is hilarious is.
The wife is fuming mad and I'mnot going to talk to him today.
And then, on the other end ofit, the husband's like man, what
a peaceful day this, this hasbeen awesome.
And not knowing that, hell hathno fury until he gets home, man
, and you know, because I'vebeen there before, I'm thinking
this has been a good day.

(21:56):
And then I get home and I go no, it ain't so.
Again, I do like slow to speakand quick to forgive.
And you know you are way moreforgiving than I am.
You're easier to forgive or notkeeping score?
I don't know yeah you are,because I'm a little meaner, so

(22:17):
anyway.
So again, another great rulefor marriage is communicating
about your goals, yourobjectives or your dreams, and
we were talking about that thismorning is communicating about
goals and about what you hope toaccomplish, or objectives or
dreams, and getting on the samepage, getting the same book and

(22:38):
heading in the right directionwith each other.
I mean that makes for a greatmarriage, because if you will
tell me what's expected, then Ihave a hundred percent more of a
chance to actually accomplishthat and us have a great
marriage than I do.
If I don't know what you expect.
You know, and so I mean youwere talking about that this

(22:58):
morning if we have an objectivelet's say our objective this
year is we're going to pay off.
If you have a credit card, thatwe've got a ten thousand dollar
credit card, our objective is topay that off this year.
Well then, that then that.
Then we know together that wehave to cut this out or we have
to do this different or we haveto whatever, because our
objective is the same and we'vecommunicated about it and it's

(23:19):
not that you decided you want topay the credit card off and I'm
like I don't?
I'm not doing that I'm I'mfixing to go eat, so, uh, we're
not cooking at home cause I'drather go, or something of that
nature.
So communication about thosethings is important.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Well, and even goals or dreams.
You know we were talking aboutwhat I'm doing right now.
I auditioned for the play, butwe talked, we had two very long
conversations about it.
Ok, this is how this is goingto affect us and our schedule.
This is how it could affect you.
I'm going to be gone at night,right.
Then we're going to affect usand our schedule.
This is how it could affect you.
I'm going to be gone at night,right.
Then we're going to be.

(23:54):
You know, I can't.
There's weeks I can't goanywhere and do anything.
Once I do this, and so we had totalk about that as a couple.
I didn't just go try out andcome home and tell you, hey, you
need to, just, yeah, heads up,I'm not going to be here all
these nights and days, and youknow, sorry about your luck, go
find something to do.
The same thing when you'rerunning the 50-mile race, you

(24:16):
talk to me about what that'sgoing to look like with your
training and with everythingthat goes into that, and what
your nutrition is going to needto look like.
That's right, and so you knowwe try to talk about that to
make sure we're both on board,and that's something we you know
, you, you, you were invited togo to Greece.
We've been invited a few timeswith Spartan.

(24:36):
You've qualified to go toGreece in November and we've
talked about that and said youknow, it's just, it's just not a
it's just, it's just not a.

Speaker 1 (24:45):
I would love to go, but it's just not right.
Yeah, and, and I think thatcommunication is you're married,
ok, you're married.
You don't get to makeunilateral decisions.
If you're doing that, stop,like I'll say, just stop making
unilateral decisions andconsider your spouse.
I don't care if it's thehusband going out and making a

(25:07):
purchase, I don't care if it'sthe wife going out and making
decisions.
Stop because there's anotherperson involved in this marriage
.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
You know and I was about to say you know,
especially on big things, buteven the small things it's often
that you hear spouses that saymy husband or my wife is going
every weekend doing X, y, z.
Maybe my wife goes and runsmarathons every weekend and
she's gone.
Maybe my husband is playinggolf with somebody every weekend
or hunting, and he's gone.
I think you know have tocommunicate about those things,
like is this cool with you?
Is there anything that you wantto do as a family instead?

(25:39):
Is this cool with you If I goand I'm gone from sunup till
sundown on Saturday?
You know, I think you knowcommunicating, I think, makes
everybody happier instead ofjust taking advantage of the
other person's.
You know.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
Being quick to forgive.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
Yeah, being quick to forgive that you just make
selfish decisions on your ownover and over and over again.

Speaker 1 (26:01):
That's right and I think that's important.
So finally, you know, isgetting or keep on getting to
know each other.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
And you know, we've even discovered some things over
the past little bit, past fewweeks, and you were like, well,
I didn't even know you thoughtabout that or cared about that.
And I'm like, well, yeah, youknow, just whatever it is
Learning how to know each othernow and I've said it before, be
a raving fan of your spouse.
Not just you know, I don'treally know.

(26:31):
I don't really know, I don'tknow what she likes, I don't
know what he likes.
Find out, you know, and and getto know them a little bit and
uh, so know what, know what,what they want from the gas
station.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
If you're passing one by and you're on your way home,
what would their?
What would their go-to be?
If you got me a threemusketeers, I would probably.
I would probably go sleep inanother bedroom but?

Speaker 1 (26:52):
but if you don't know , get the last three things
you've heard her say, and thatway you'll at least get it right
.
You know, I was thinking aboutyou and I wanted to get you
something, and I actually gotyou three things and I just want
you to be able to enjoy them.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
And the truth is, sometimes you may not exactly
know which one it is, butgetting to know them and you
just told me your secret,because I wonder sometimes, when
you know that I'm even cuttingback on sugar and you come home
with two or three things.
I know now why you do that itchanges sometimes.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
I just want to make sure that I can at least get in
the ballpark.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
I was stuck on the dark Milky Way night or
something for such a long time.
And then I moved off of it fora while.
You went to Twix.
I'm not really a Twix girlanymore, so it mine does change
a little bit every once in awhile I'll just throw a real
like monkey, but you're so thesame, and then that's where

(27:40):
we're so different.
You are so that you can get thesame.
You can get a Reese.
You can pretty much clock it.
You're going to get a Reese'scup if you went to the gas
station every single time.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
Well, I may get something wild like a hundred
grand bar, Like yeah like Iwould eat it if that's the only
thing left in the house, butlike that's not my go to.
You know what I mean.
But again, getting to knowthose little things and spending
time with them and listen, youknow that's, that's one thing.
Listen to your spouse asthey're speaking to others or

(28:10):
talking about things, or or evento you or whatever, in a group.
Make some notes.
You know this is what, this iswhat she likes, this is what he
likes, and and just make thoselittle little gifts or whatever
little little things and itmatters so.
So to to finish this up, becausewe were talking about getting
to know each other, I got somequestions and this will be

(28:31):
interesting so we can get toknow.
And if you tune out to Q&A, godbless you, but this is just
some fun stuff that I want toask you.
So, first question if you couldpick a different city to live
in without having to worry aboutproximity to family and friends
, what city would it be?
Let's see if I can get it in myhead.
Okay, I got it.

(28:57):
I've got two but there's onlyone New York.
Really, I was thinking aboutMiami.
Yeah, and that was my guess isMiami.

Speaker 2 (29:12):
It's just that it would be hot all the time.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:15):
Yeah, but I love Miami, but there's so much more
like to do in New York so Idon't know.
I would split my time.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
No, you have to have one.
See, for me it would be NewYork.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (29:29):
I would choose New York time.

Speaker 2 (29:30):
Well, I would come see you six months out of the
year.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
Yeah, we could split time, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay,
cool.
So if you could plan a vacationwith us, for us, no money, it
didn't matter what it cost, justwhere would you plan a vacation
for me and you?

Speaker 2 (29:49):
Probably a 10-day tour.
You know, I'm finding that I'mindecisive about what I like or
what I would want to do.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
if we're just this is actually good.
We're going to continue to see.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
Would I go for Australia or would I go for, I
don't know, my continents isAustralia and Europe?
No, it is not so Europe, maybesomewhere there.
Yeah, okay, yeah, that's what Iwould do.
Okay, I can't be.
10 days is about as long as Iwant to.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
I think for me would you go.
I would probably go to uhireland yes, yeah, that would be
good too that state of castle,somewhere like that, something,
something unique.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
I just think that'd be a two or three day though,
because, like it's all it looksin on instagram, it all looks
the same well, it probably isthe same.

Speaker 1 (30:44):
Yeah, you know that that would be something that I
would.
I would do.
Um, here's a question what?
What are you most sentimentalabout, like that, what's the
thing that gets you sentimentalimmediately?

Speaker 2 (31:00):
Objects, objects that hold memories or belong to
people.

Speaker 1 (31:04):
Really, yes, okay, I think for me it is pictures,
pictures.
Pictures make me sentimentalreal quick, whether it is our
marriage or whether it's a kidbeing born or a birthday party
or something of that nature,because in that, in that picture

(31:25):
holds a value and it brings amemory of where we were in that
moment.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
Yeah, and I can see that, because you're definitely
a picture guy and you take morepictures than me.
But the problem with pictureswith me is I never remember
anything.
So when I look at a picture Ihave no idea where we were, what
we were doing, or so that's.
Yeah, I can see that becauseyou have more memories tied to
probably pictures when you lookat them.

Speaker 1 (31:46):
That's right yeah, I do, I do okay cool um let's see,
I got some more questions here.
What is, uh?
What weird thing stresses youout more than it should?
I'll have to think about thatone.
You can come back to it.
You can come back to it.

Speaker 2 (32:05):
What weird thing stresses you out more than it
should?
Of course, you've seen thequestions already.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
You had time to think .

Speaker 2 (32:15):
That's a good question because, I don't know,
there's a lot of things thatstresses me out.
I don't know that this is weird, but I mean it's not having a
plan, so I don't know thatthat's weird, but even going
somewhere.

Speaker 1 (32:27):
I can see that.

Speaker 2 (32:28):
We were talking in another podcast about boundaries
and I had to say no to going ona youth trip and I kept asking,
like, what is the plan?
And I kept asking like what's,what is the plan?
So, like I, it would make menervous going somewhere and I'd
be really stressed if I wentsomewhere with a group of people
and I did not know what theplan was.
So I don't know if everybodyelse would be stressed about

(32:49):
that, but I would probably bethe most stressed person in the
group.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
OK, when, when do you feel like you're most in your
element?
You feel like you're most inyour element, like I'm talking
about comfort zone, baby, justmach 10, mach 5, whatever it is,
wide open.
You, I mean it's you, you ownthat space probably in my
kitchen.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
Yeah, okay, yeah, absolutely probably in my
kitchen.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
I like that answer.
I like that answer.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
You got cake but there's usually yes, there's
usually going to be.
I'm going to be dipping intothe big canister of sugar at
some point, usually in my timein the kitchen.
Yeah, what is yours?

Speaker 1 (33:22):
I think when, um, when I am leading a group of
people, that is when I feel likeI'm in my element.
Yeah, I can see that and, uh,feel the most comfortable.
Whether it is coaching, whetherit is it is leading a ministry
or anything like that, I feelvery in my element.
I never have to second guessmyself with those things because

(33:43):
it's just comfort zone, youknow, and OK, cool.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
Do one more.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
Let's do one more.
Let's see.
This one will finish with thisone.
If you could relive one year ofyour life Out of 51 years, what
is that one year that you wouldrelive?

Speaker 2 (34:04):
That's a hard one because I don't have great
memories so I wouldn't be ableto line up what year was what
year.
That's a hard one for me.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
Is it?

Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yes, I would really really have to think about that.
That's not an easy one, that'sa hard one for me.
Is it?
Yes, I would really really haveto think about that.
That's not an easy one, that'sa really hard one.
Give me something else.
Give me something easy you wantsomething easy?

Speaker 1 (34:27):
Yeah, easy, easy.
Let's give you something easy.
What about?
What small pleasures give youthe most joy?

Speaker 2 (34:40):
Finding something on sale, especially if it's really
really cheap, and then I have totell everybody Like a good find
to me is like so exciting.
Yeah, because I feel likeChristopher Columbus out there
Is that who it was who explored.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
A lot of people explored.

Speaker 2 (34:55):
No, I'm thinking of somebody else.
Who's the explorer?

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Lewis and.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
Clark.
Maybe I feel like Lewis andClark out there If I found
something that was like afantastic deal or just something
.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
History buff.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
Yeah, no, yeah Me yeah Is that a joke?

Speaker 1 (35:10):
It is a joke.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
I thought you were serious for a second no.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
No, I think for me.
What small pleasure gives methe most joy and this is just a
recent thing with me, because itchanges is when I bring you

(35:34):
your coffee in the morning, Ikiss you on the forehead, and
that small gesture probablybrings me more joy than standing
before any congregation orrunning any race or having any
accolade, because that meansthat I have one more day to love
you.

Speaker 2 (35:50):
Yeah, wow, that's really good.
Yeah, I get excited aboutfinding shoes on clearance and
now you're like going deep on me.
I'm going deep, I feel terrible.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
I'm going deep, deep, yeah.
Yeah, don't know, don't knowwhat life you want to live, what
year you want to live, butanyway, no, that's just a little
bit about us and I thought thatwould be a fun way, yeah so we
are definitely still getting toknow each other, yeah hey, I'm
brad, nice to meet you.
Yeah, you want to go out?

Speaker 2 (36:13):
yeah, we talk about that all the time, of what, how,
how, if we had to do it rightnow, how we'd be able to snag
each other.
Yeah, it's so funny becauseremember some of the stuff you
said to me.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
I said I would shut you down so quick but you know,
I've really thought about it andI have been since.
We've said yeah, because I toldher I would tell her how
beautiful she is because she isbeautiful.
And she said I don't bother, Idon't care about none of that.
And I'm thinking, you know, butI thought about it the other
day, I wouldn't be chasing you,it'd be the other way around.
You'd be trying to come to meand say, hey, you're beautiful,

(36:43):
okay big boy.
So anyway, I'm just messing, buthey, listen, we just want to
encourage you.
Listen, life is hard sometimesand marriage is not easy.
Sometimes you have to deal withkids, you have to deal with
family.
You have to deal with with kids, you have to deal with family.
You have to deal with work, youhave to deal with loss, you
have to deal with grief, youhave to deal with joy.
There's all kind of things thatyou deal with with your

(37:06):
marriage.
But you can have a greatmarriage.
You absolutely can have a greatmarriage and I think, learning
how to have fun together, youknow, being able to speak well
about your spouse, I think beingslow to speak and quick to
forgive, that's really, reallyimportant.
Communicating about where you'reat in your life and some things
that you want, and it's okay tohave dreams and goals and

(37:27):
visions, but communicate thoseand, I think, finally, just keep
getting to know each other.
Just like that we have an ideawhat we think our spouse is.
But I learned some things today.
You know, I learned some thingsabout you today and those are
the questions you got to have, Ithink, just riding down the
road, just asking the questionwhat do you think about how?

(37:48):
Tell me about and you'll learna whole bunch, and not take for
granted that you know what yourspouse wants anymore.
And it changes, it does, it doesand it's okay to change.
That's what we talked about inour first podcast is growth and
maturity.
It's okay to change, and so wewant to encourage you.
Hey, listen, great marriagesare out there.
We've gotten one, but it's beenwork.
They don't come free andthey're not cheap, right?

(38:09):
So don't think that you'regoing to rock 40 years and just
be the same as you were whenthat I do, right?
So, anyway, any final thoughts?
Any final words?

Speaker 2 (38:18):
Just keep getting to know each other what to pick up
at the gas station, that's soimportant, and now my secret has
been exposed.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
So, anyway, keep on keeping on.
Hey, listen, we want toencourage you to hop in the flow
with somebody who is going theway you want to go, and I
promise you the other side willbe fantastic, fantastic.
Thank you so much for listeningthis morning.
We'll see you soon.
Brush it all, pick myself up,moving on to the better.

(38:51):
Okay, hey, yeah, ain't noerrors, baby, it's a new era.
I wake up early feeling rich,like I'm cash.
I get to the paper
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Law & Order: Criminal Justice System - Season 1 & Season 2

Law & Order: Criminal Justice System - Season 1 & Season 2

Season Two Out Now! Law & Order: Criminal Justice System tells the real stories behind the landmark cases that have shaped how the most dangerous and influential criminals in America are prosecuted. In its second season, the series tackles the threat of terrorism in the United States. From the rise of extremist political groups in the 60s to domestic lone wolves in the modern day, we explore how organizations like the FBI and Joint Terrorism Take Force have evolved to fight back against a multitude of terrorist threats.

Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal

NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal

Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.