August 27, 2024 • 37 mins
Ever wondered if you're truly living or just existing? Join us for a lively episode of Hustle Flow as we kick things off with a spirited discussion about football season. Brad, a die-hard Ole Miss fan, humorously navigates the all-consuming nature of watching multiple games in one day, much to Tiffany's amusement. This sets the stage for a deeper conversation inspired by a Matthew McConaughey quote, focusing on the urgency of living life to the fullest rather than postponing our dreams.
We dive into emotionally charged stories that highlight life's unpredictability, including the untimely passing of elite CrossFit athlete Lazar Dukic and a beloved aunt diagnosed with terminal cancer shortly after retirement. These narratives serve as a powerful reminder to seize the day and create a life rich with stories and adventures. We emphasize the importance of pursuing passions now, and not merely going through the motions.
As the episode unfolds, we explore how joy and routine interplay in our daily lives. Discover how maintaining a mindset of joy can bring deeper satisfaction, irrespective of external circumstances. We also touch on the value of meaningful connections and hobbies, stressing the significance of surrounding ourselves with people who challenge and inspire us. Wrapping up, we encourage listeners to align with like-minded individuals, maintain a resilient mindset, and embrace a new era of positivity and growth. Join us for an enriching discussion filled with heartfelt stories and actionable insights.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Good morning.
Good morning.
This is Brad and I'm with mywife, tiffany.
Good morning, tiffany.
Good morning.
We are the host of the HustleFlow podcast.
We have been having a greatmorning and we just finished a
really powerful podcast on theEmotional Cup, so I hope you
were able to listen to it lastweek and kind of get some things
going.
This morning we're going to betalking about living versus
(00:42):
existing and I think that's agood subject, especially with
maybe where you are in life, andwe're going to jump in there in
just a few minutes and talkabout that stuff.
But if you're listening to thispodcast, guys, hold on.
Football is coming this weekendand I know my wife's like, oh,
(01:04):
you love football season, don'tyou?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I don't mind it, um, it's just that you, I guess, and
I guess a lot of guys do this,um, and there's probably some
women, but it's you don't.
Just watch the one game it's,and I'll ask you hey, what about
?
What is it the?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
game, one game.
What's that like?
What about after the game?
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
I'll ask you like, what about after the Ole Miss
game is off?
And you're like, okay, wellthen, texas is playing.
And they're like, okay, well,what about that?
Well then, florida's playing,like okay, so it's an all-day
thing, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Saturdays Saturdays in the fall.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, and you're somewhere, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
It is God's gift to us.
No, it's not, it is God's giftto us.
And so, yeah, football's coming, man.
And again, I really have totemper myself on Saturdays.
I've seen that.
I saw this morning somebodyposted I'm not even going to
attend my own wedding on Octoberthe 12th, and like LSU's
(02:05):
playing Ole Miss in, like thishuge four or five big games that
day potentially, and likeeverybody's like I'm not going
anywhere the day.
Don't ask me, I'm not goinganywhere, and so I'm just.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Which is funny Is that the weekend you're.
Are you doing a Spartan inNashville that weekend?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
No, that's the weekend before.
So October the 12th, justpretend I don't exist, because
I'm going to veg out on thecouch and watch football all day
long, because that's just mything.
Man, I love football and sowe're excited about that.
I'm an Ole Miss guy.
Ole Miss is that's what I wastelling my buddies the other day
is that I don't reallyunderstand why they're playing
(02:43):
this year.
Basically all the press comingout of Oxford, mississippi, just
pretty much says that Ole Missis going to be the national
champion.
So if they would just go aheadand give us the trophy, we don't
even have to play the games,because you know prognosticators
, they have it right.
And one thing I know is I'vebeen an Ole Miss fan my whole
life and it is just as well thatwe could go make the playoffs,
(03:09):
lose in the playoffs.
We could win the playoffs.
Or we could stumble our toe andgo eight and four and lose to
Mississippi State at the end,and boy, that would be the
kicker that we all want.
But anyway, I'm just making alittle jab.
Pastor Mike over here has gothis Mississippi State shirt on.
I asked him did he do that?
To antagonize me?
But he swears up and down, hedidn't.
(03:29):
They're good Mississippi Statefans.
I just want you to know thatPastor Mike's one of them.
But anyway, I digress, justjoking.
Football season's coming, wives.
I'm sorry.
Maybe that's your time to shineand go shopping.
Your husband probably won'tnotice the charges because he'll
be busy watching football, butanyway.
(03:49):
So we're going to talk thismorning about living versus
existing, and this comes to mindif you've seen Tiffany's
favorite.
One of Tiffany's favoritepeople is Matthew McConaughey.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yeah, I'll tell you, though Glenn Powell's pushing
him out.
He's a.
I think he is Twister boy.
I think he is the next Matthewand I think he may be giving him
a run for his money.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
But you know why.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
They're both from Texas.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Well, that's one reason but you know another
reason.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
No.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Matthew's kind of aging out.
Nah, I don't know about that.
All right, all right, all right, he's, he is aging out.
So they got to bring in thatthe new blood, and glenn powell
is the new texas blood and, uh,you know I, eventually what's
going to happen is there will bea um, matthew mcconaughey will
(04:43):
play Glenn Powell's father.
That's kind of how that'll be.
So they'll put those twotogether and that's what that'll
be.
But I go back to, if you'veheard him say it, you've got to
start living man L-I-V-I-N.
And I hear that voice in myhead all the time when I think
about Matthew McConaughey.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
What movie was that?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I don't remember what movie that was, but it's just a
clip.
That's all over reels andsocial media.
You got to start living, man,L-I-V-I-N.
And that's such a truestatement.
Because I was telling you wedrove to South Carolina, oh,
that was a long trip, but anyway, we went to, we bought a truck
(05:24):
and so we left and drove toSouth Carolina and back and I
was exhausted when we got back.
I know you were, but, but wewe've sitting at lunch and I
told you.
I said this is just.
This topic has been on my heartlately about living versus
existing.
Because at 52, I'm living man,Like when I wake up, I am living
, I am, I am, I am determined totake life and grab it and go.
(05:48):
And do I, do I like live everyday?
No, there's probably days I canwake up and exist, but I am
doing everything I can at 52 tolive.
And I think it comes back towhere and we can just we're
going to hop in there and talkabout maybe some signs of you
existing versus living.
It comes back to this life isshort, yeah, and I don't know
(06:13):
like I want to live.
I'd love to live, to be ahundred years old and be able to
watch my, my kids grow andwatch my grandkids and great
grandkids and dance with them attheir weddings and you know all
the things and be able to seeall that and but?
But I don't know, I don't know.
You know, last week, if you're,if you're a CrossFit person, if
you're not, this is, this is ofno value to you.
(06:34):
But if you're a CrossFit guy orCrossFit girl, they had the
CrossFit games last week.
That's where they have fourdays of competition.
It was in Fort Worth, Texas,and they crowned the fittest in
the world.
They're all over the world, thefittest people in the world.
And the first event out of thegate was a three-and-a-half-mile
run as fast as you can run andthen an 800-meter swim in the
(06:57):
lake at Fort Worth.
Now to elite athletes andpeople who swim or people who
have you know the caliber ofpeople that were there are top
of the line.
It's not like me, like I'd be,like trying to figure out how to
dive, not, not because I meanI'm, I can't swim very well, uh,
you know I'm saying but um,first event, Lazar Dukic drowned
(07:24):
.
A lead athlete in his 20sdrowned 100 meters from the
finish and his brother was partof that competition and it was a
gut punch to the CrossFitcommunity and the CrossFit games
.
But I go back to.
So what I say is they showed avideo of him getting ready to
(07:48):
run at zero minutes 37 and somechange.
Minutes later he was dead and,yes, he was doing something he
loved.
But I go back to you do notknow what your last minute is
going to be.
You don't know your last day,and so when you live your life
(08:12):
and all you are doing is wakingup day after day after day and
just existing, there's no lifein you, there's no energy,
there's nothing that you lookforward to.
It's a miserable existence, andI want to encourage you you got
to start living.
You can't wait till you retire.
(08:35):
You can't wait till the kidsget out of the house.
You can't wait till this isright or that's right.
You've got to wake up and grablife by the horns and start
living.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yeah, you know what you just said about you can't
wait until you retire.
And this is we're going to makethe turn here.
We're going to not be as, it'snot going to be as sad, but you
know, I immediately thoughtabout my aunt.
Oh man, my aunt, who was like amother to me.
She was waiting until sheretired to start living.
She did nothing but work,probably 60 hours a week, and
(09:12):
she retired in the spring, Ithink, was well the summer,
early summer, and by October shewas in the hospital with
terminal cancer.
And that's just a few shortmonths.
There was, you know, and that's,and that's what she would tell
me every day in the hospital wasI had plans, I was going to
(09:35):
start vacation, I was going tostart traveling and antiquing, I
was going to.
She would tell me all thethings that she had waited, that
she was going to do.
She would tell me all thethings that she had waited that
she was going to do.
And so you know, I'm sure youknow, yes, that I'm sure she
wishes had she wished that shewould have spent taking more
(09:55):
days off and not had those samelike I'm just existing right now
.
But I'm waiting.
I'm waiting till till I retire.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah, and she was such a great lady, you know, and
that was a sad thing, butthat's a great example, because
that was it.
She wanted to go antiquing andshe wanted to be able to see her
nieces and nephews because shehad become like a grandmother to
them as well and loved them andprovided for them and provided
for you, and so it was insane,it was sad to see that, and so
(10:27):
that's what I'm talking about.
That's a great example.
You can't wait, like you've gotto decide, like I'm going to go
after something and like I'mpassionate about this, like I,
you know, I am passionate.
You've got to go aftersomething.
It you just wake up and you goto work and you come home and
you eat dinner and you watch TVand you cut it off and you go.
(10:47):
You do it again.
That's no life, man, and it'sexhausting.
It's exhausting and emotionallydraining and it's no fun and
it's just easy to want to checkout.
But you can't do that becauseI'm telling you, living your
life to the fullest.
And I've said this I don't knowif I've said this on this
podcast before, but the book Iread late, two or three or four
(11:12):
months ago.
It said that the idea aboutgetting to heaven.
For those who are Christianpeople listening to this podcast
, the idea to getting to heavenisn't to arrive safely at the
door.
It's to come in on two wheels,spinning tires, saying oh my
(11:34):
gosh, what a ride that was.
That was crazy let's.
I wish we could do it again,because you can't go back and
push the rewind button.
Because you can't go back andpush the rewind button.
You know you can't go back andsay you know you can't live life
with regrets, and I thinkthat's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
So you don't mean getting into heaven.
There's a different conceptthan getting into heaven by the
skin of your teeth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm notsaying that I'm saying just a
life, well, well lived, welllived.
When you get there coming in ontwo wheels.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah, I mean, you think about some of the best
people that you can think of.
Their life is full of stories.
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Just they're full of stories and it's hard to create
stories and interesting thingsfrom the same things every day.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, what did you do ?
What did you do with your life?
Well, I went to work.
What else?
I came home.
What else I ate dinner, whatelse I watched CSI?
What else I petted the cat.
Okay, and I'm going to tell you, like at the end of your life
(12:53):
you're going to look around andthink, man, I missed some things
.
Because I don't know like thismay sound whatever and you can
hop in here because I'm nottrying to dominate this, but
it's passionate to me the worlddon't love you back.
Sometimes it's not going togive you the love that you want.
Your company may not give youthe love they want back.
They, they may say you knowwhat we're downsizing and I
appreciate your 30 years you puthere.
(13:14):
But I can tell you, take theday off.
If you got PTO, take it.
I've seen people with I got.
I got six months PTO.
Why?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
You know, when I worked at Cisco food sales and
so I'm always that guy Like, Iread the rules, I read the books
, I read the manuals, I know thestuff.
You know what I mean Churchminutes, I know this stuff.
And so I'd been working thereabout a year and I noticed on my
check there was this thingcalled a Cisco day.
I said what is that?
(13:47):
It had eight hours beside it.
A cisco day.
I said what is this?
And uh, I asked my boss.
He said what that's just they.
They give you a day if you wantto take it and they'll pay you
for it.
You know, he said nobody's evertaken it.
I said really.
I said okay.
I said well, I want to takemine.
He said you want to do what?
(14:08):
I said I want to take my dayoff.
He said ain't nobody ever doneit.
I said okay, so well, tell mewhat day monday through friday
which day would be good nextweek so I can take off?
And so we decided on likewednesday, because that was one
of my lighter days and so.
So what's funny is no joke.
When I did mine, every personin our district took theirs and
(14:30):
I thought I don't want to bepaid eight hours.
I want my day off.
That's the day I can spend withmy wife.
That's the day we can eat somebreakfast together.
That's the day I can carry mykids to school.
That's the day that you know,because I want to live.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
And so does that make sense?
Do you get where I'm comingfrom?
Yeah, like that's, I want tolive versus exist, and so here's
some things.
It's in Texas Metro News, it'sonline.
If you want to pull it up andlook at it, you can do that.
But here are some signs thatyou may just be existing in your
life and not living.
Number one time passes quickly.
(15:06):
Everybody's got a busy life,you know.
I've told you I think it wastwo days ago I said, oh my God,
it's the 12th already that we'vealmost burned through August.
You know how quickly that hasstarted.
But you know, if you discoverthat your days are flying by
without important moments orexperiences, it's a warning sign
, you know.
Do you have any significantevents?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Well, it goes back to what we just said.
If, every day, if you had torecap your last week, but
everything was I went to workand I went home and watched TV,
then that is a sign that thetime is passing quickly, but you
don't have any memorableexperiences, or?
Speaker 1 (15:43):
moments, yeah, and that's one thing I think that we
have really tried to do.
You know, maybe we were youngerwe didn't do such a great job
at that, but the older we get,we really do try to celebrate
moments and make memories andmake moments.
You know, we did a podcast onmemories and moments, but time
passing quickly.
I want to remember my grandsonbeing born.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
You know, I want to remember my daughters graduating
from college or my son.
I want to remember those things.
I want to remember last week mydad had a procedure.
You know, I don't know how longhe lives, but I want to
remember the fact that I wasthere when he woke up and he
gave me that fist bump.
You know what I'm saying.
My brother, he hugged mybrother but gave me a fist bump.
You know what I'm saying.
(16:27):
He probably would have.
He probably would have huggedme too.
You know, you understand, ourdemeanors are a lot alike.
We're.
We're a little gruff, toughsometimes, and so it was the
fist bump and I want to be thereand remember that, you know.
And so there are definingmoments in life, and if you've
ever read Dr Phil's book, like Ican't imitate Dr Phil, but Dr
(16:47):
Phil says you have 10 definingmoments in your life.
There's 10 defining moments whomake you who you are, make you
what you are.
And when you get into justletting time pass quickly,
there's times you may miss thatdefining moment and you may not
realize that it was a definingmoment in your life and you miss
it.
So another thing, and I'm goingto say sometimes one of us has
(17:11):
a little more issue with thisone than the other.
We're not calling people outtoday, we're just talking
Negative self-talk.
You may be existing if you havea bunch of negative self-talk.
Everybody criticizes himselfsometimes, right?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
But what's the difference in criticizing
yourself and then being negativeabout yourself?
What's your thought there?
Because I yell when I'm in thewoods and I'm running, people
probably think I'm crazy,because I'm like suck it up, man
, you suck, keep running, keepgoing, keep going.
You can do this, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Well, I think that the difference is, you know, not
letting it become a habit,right, if you're a perfectionist
, you can probably really get ina loop, a constant loop of
negative self-talk andself-criticism.
And I believe that we should be, to an extent, being
(18:10):
self-critical as far as alwayswanting to be better and
changing and not being stuckwith the same traits or
behaviors or bad habits.
However, if it's, if you'retalking to yourself so ugly all
the time that it's affectingyour self-esteem and your
self-worth, then it's, you know,then it's a problem.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Yeah, that's it, that's it right.
There is that if you look inthe mirror and think you're
hideous, you are ugly, not goodenough, you're not good enough,
you're not going, you're not.
That's.
That's the different conceptversus saying hey, you could do
better.
Yeah, you know, because we'reall there Right, and you know
there are people who.
Another sign is you have aboring routine.
(18:51):
You tell me all the time that Icould be boring.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
That's not, I didn't, I've not said it quite like
that.
Well, maybe not quite that meanI've said that without me.
Okay, you would be boring you.
I didn't say, I don't even sayboy, obviously you would get
into the.
You would do the same boringroutine and have very boring
days if you did not have meSemantics, okay, but, but you
(19:22):
know.
Because, would you not do you?
You, you would have thatpropensity to wake up at the
same time.
Go do the exact same workout,whether it's a run or CrossFit
workout.
Eat the same thing.
You were mad this morningbecause you were out of the only
protein that you will drink tomake your shakes.
You would not touch any otherprotein I had in the house.
(19:43):
You know, because it's yourroutine.
And you would go do the exactsame things if enter me, me,
yeah because you bring theenergy.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
You know boring routines, you know do you repeat
the same thing, but thedifference is I would repeat the
same thing because I'm aroutine person but I have energy
about my routine.
But a lot of people, if you'reexisting, not living, you do it
without energy.
And the word there that you andI talked about is joy.
You do things without joy.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Now let's talk about joy for a minute.
Joy, happiness.
You know, I've heard people sayI'm just not happy.
Who cares?
Who cares?
If you want to be happy, thenyou may be happy today, but you
may not be happy tomorrow.
Happiness is fleeting.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
You know, I mean, we're biblical people.
My Bible don't say somethingabout being happy, but it does
say something about having joy.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
What's the difference between happiness and joy?
What are your thoughts?
I mean, joy is intrinsic joy isintrinsic.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Yeah, I think joy is a deeper seeded emotion that
comes from, you know, otherother values and things that are
going on in your life andhappiness is sometimes just
dependent upon the situation andit can fleet.
I was happy this morning andnow I'm not happy this afternoon
.
You know, I think on Facebookisn't there even a Tiffany is
(21:21):
feeling unhappy, or Tiffany,because it's a smaller, I
believe, emotion that can changerapidly.
But joy, I think, is deeperseated.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah, would you, would you say that that maybe
joy is satisfaction, that youcan be satisfied no matter what
you are and where you are andwhat's going on?
Yeah, and you know, that's onething that I that I have always
admired about you is that you dohave a sense of joy and you can
uh, if I've got $10 or $10,000,you can still be joyful.
(21:57):
Whereas I've had to work onthat, I've had to work on the
joy part of my life and realizethat the small things I can have
joy in the small things too,and I can do it with energy and
joy and happiness and there'sthat satisfaction that comes.
And so if you fall into aboring routine, there's nothing
wrong with routine.
(22:17):
I think routine is great, Ithink routine, especially for
people who have addictivepersonalities, is good.
But you can't do it withoutenergy.
That's where there becomes aproblem.
You just exist.
You get up, you go work home,tv, sleep, work home, tv, sleep
or monotonous habit, and you'renot living.
Another thing is another wayyou can tell if maybe you're
(22:38):
existing instead of living isavoiding social interactions.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
You know I was thinking about this.
We are now glorifying stayinghome and not going and
connecting with people.
There's so many reels and ticktocks and all the things about
you know, um, I don't know wherey'all are at.
You know seven o'clock on asaturday night.
I'm not.
You know I'm not coming.
(23:02):
I'm, I'm gonna be home.
I like myself, I like, I like tobe in my bedroom with the the?
Um, the curtains pulled and thetv on or whatever, not around
people or, and people say it'stoo people-y, um, all those
things.
We and I I don't know if covidis the blame or not, but I know
that we are becoming a less andless social?
(23:25):
Um society as far as wanting tobe around people and wanting
that interaction with peoplethat we once you know that I
think that we once had.
So I think we're celebratingthe fact now of being by
ourselves and not wanting to bein places where it's people-y
and hang out and seek that it'sa lot more comfortable now to be
(23:48):
on TikTok or even to be textingsomebody than to actually be in
their presence.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Right, but you said it though.
They still want a connection,but they want likes and comments
, not the connection, becauseavoiding social interaction
listen, I get it, sometimes I'llbe one of those.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Sometimes it's too people-y for me, like I'm good
in crowds, like I'm good withpeople, but sometimes I just
don't really want to, you knowgood with people, but sometimes
I just don't really want to, youknow, you know, and bouncing
off that there's times sometimesand I am a peopley person I I
don't mind crowds, I don't mindgroups, but sometimes there are
things that I just don't want togo do.
But I always feel energized andbetter when I when I actually
(24:30):
did it and went oh yeah, there'snothing worse than making plans
.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
And then, when it's time to go, do the plans?
You're like, oh, do I have togo?
And you're like, yeah, you'regoing to go, you're going to
have a good time when you getthere.
And I'm like, no, I will not.
And you're like, yes, you will.
I'm like I'm not going to havea good time.
And then I come home and I'vehad a good time, you know.
So, uh, but I think, I think,though, you, you, you said it if
(25:00):
you, it's easier to textsomebody than it is to be in
front of them.
But human, human contact, uh,avoiding social interaction,
human contact grounds youemotionally.
You know, you, you nobody might.
When you send that text, theymight not even see your face,
but if I'm sitting in front ofyou, I can see when your eyes
(25:22):
get big when I ask you aquestion like oh, what are you
asking?
Or you can see the emotionbehind something you know, and
that's why I hate texting email,because there's no emotion
behind that.
And so sometimes, the way it'sread or the way it's seen, but
you know, human interaction, man, it grounds you emotionally.
You cannot bond with a screen,right, you cannot, and so when
(25:46):
it's hard to create those likewe're talking about.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
It's hard to create moments when you're not who.
Are you creating the momentwith cat right now?
Um, it's hard to create thosemoments and memories if you're
isolating.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Right?
I think so too.
Another sign that you may beexisting versus living is that
you don't have any hobby orinterests, and that's one thing.
That I've got plenty of hobbies.
I have hobbies, and that's onething you and I've talked about
before.
Is you trying to find a hobby?
But sometimes as a marriedcouple, it's hard to have
(26:22):
opposite and separate hobbiesand you feel obligated Well,
this is their hobby, so I needto go do this versus you finding
something yourself.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
You know, if you don't have any hobbies or
interest in hobbies like for me,they relieve stress.
Like my hobbies working out andrunning it relieves stress.
It hurts my body, I'm tired,but for me when I go out there I
can clear the mechanism, I canclear my mind and I can get out
there and just put junk behind.
(26:48):
You know, I've got a hobby, butI think, I think, if you don't
have some kind of hobby, Ibelieve that it really does not
allow you to live Feeling emptyor depressed.
You know, feeling empty, Ithink, sometimes, like you got
(27:09):
to fill it with something andthat goes back to, you know,
just finding that thing thatmakes you tick, Uh and and again
, I think that that matters.
You know, lack of meaningfulrelationships Um, we just talked
about that.
I think that you need to findpeople who will make you better.
(27:29):
You need to find people whowill make you better and
challenge you.
Um, if, if you're, if you andthat's the sometimes that's a
challenge for me, cause I'm a,I'm a creature of comfort and I
like comfort and I don't like tobe around people that are not
like me sometimes, because thenit challenges me to think
differently.
But I think that's a good thing.
(27:50):
I think I think you need to tobe around people from different
ethnicities, socioeconomicbackgrounds.
I think that you need to finddifferent cultures because that
helps you, as a person, realizethat there's somebody else
besides you and that the world'snot about you.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
You know Constant boredom.
We've talked about that.
What do you think about this?
You're not living if you havelittle physical activity.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Yeah, of course that's big in our world.
But endorphins make you happyand we just said you're not
going to be happy necessarilyall the time.
You're not going to be happynecessarily all the time, but it
is.
It is very critical to youremotional well-being and all of
(28:42):
those things to find somethingwhether it's walk, whatever,
just getting outside't have anycircles anywhere.
Find something you think youwould like to do.
Find you a walking groupkickboxing, crossfit, I don't
(29:07):
know where else they have stronglike gyms, they have strong
communities at.
But find you a community ofpeople to go and live life with
and to do those things with.
But yeah, physical activity toowill get you out of that rut so
that you can live.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
I think that's it.
I think finding you said itfinding some kind of community,
whether it's a hobby, whetherit's exercise group or something
.
Finding some kind of communityPickleball disc golf, tennis
golf.
Crocheting anything, Findingsome kind of community.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
It's not really a physical activity.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I mean, it might be if your hands are working real
fast, but you understand whatI'm saying.
I think it goes back to findinga community to hang out in,
because you can get better andyou can live when you find
something and you never knowwhat you really like.
You know?
I think procrastinationlaziness is another one.
You prioritize satisfactionabove doing critical tasks and
(30:03):
lazy people and procrastinatorswant to just let life happen to
them.
But sometimes you've got tograb a hold and you got to go
neglecting responsibilities.
You just wander aimlesslywithout a purpose.
You know, I'll say this youneglect obligations.
There's major consequences thatcome from that.
Major consequences but I likethis one I want to talk about
(30:26):
this one for a minute isescapism.
Escapism People escape into somany things and so when you
start to escape into life uh,things other than than just
living real life it's a problem.
(30:47):
It's a real problem.
You know, I told you before I'man ncaa football guy.
I love it.
New uh 2025 just came out.
But, like, I'm in this groupand it's fun to watch.
But I followed this one guy andhe spent, I think I told you,
259 hours on the game andtalking about all the national
(31:11):
championships he won.
And the truth is, when he cutsthat game off, he has absolutely
accomplished zero, Absolutelyaccomplished zero.
He is escaped versus getting upkilling something and dragging
it home.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Yeah, because it sounds like that's moved past
just being a hobby or interestand that has become a form of
escapism.
Yeah, instead of living anddoing the things that we going
back to what we just said,making the moments and making
the memories that's turned intosomething besides just a fun
hobby.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Well, you know, do a work.
People do it with their kids.
They escape, they just get intosomething else, and so you know
, I think that that just reallyreally gets into a problem.
Excessive time spent on screensis one way you can tell if
you're existing, not living.
(32:05):
Um, and we've all done it.
Look, we've all done it.
You're sitting with somebodywho's flesh and blood and you're
scrolling the screen, lookingat other people's lives and and
and just mindlessly scrolling.
It's a habit.
You hop on there and you'relike just flipping, you just
flipping, just flipping're justflipping, you're just flipping,
you're just flipping, you'rejust flipping.
But I can tell you that movingfrom existing to living is
(32:28):
flipping a switch, saying youknow what?
I'm not going to be the sameperson next week.
I'm going to do somethingdifferent today, and I think it
comes back to maybe having nogoals and no ambition well, I
think.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I think that that's a good, a good point to probably
wrap up with is that one way tolive and and to not just exist
is to set, set some goals, setsome ambitious goals, some very
lofty goals.
You rekindle some passions andsome, you know, desires and
ambitions and spend some timelike working towards something
(33:08):
and kind of renewing purpose,cause that's what that can do
Sometimes it's having goals canrenew purpose and you, when
you've lost your drive and yourpurpose and you are just living
and existing Right.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
What kind of goals you got, you got, you got
anything, really, I mean?
I mean, mean, what's the goalof yours?
What do you want to do?
Speaker 2 (33:28):
well, I'm behind I'm behind, but I'm still still
working towards towards books um.
One of our goals was podcast,and here we are.
I don't even know what episodewe're at and I don't know and it
seemed 30, 29 yeah, I mean it's, it's that's this year in 20,
you know 2024.
that was a goal and so that hasgot us out of our our routine
(33:49):
that we would have normally beenin, and it's been fun to um to,
to see this unfold.
And so you know some of myother goals my, my filming, food
, you know, cooking videos.
I can't wait to see that unfoldand what that'll bring, because
it's just been something likegoing back to the whole thing of
(34:11):
not just we could have easilyjust done the same thing we
always do, but this is one ofthose things that's gotten us
out of that routine of justexisting.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Yeah, Because we and then I think that's it is that
you really never know what yourthing is until you get out there
and find something you know.
If it don't work, shut it down,try something else, do
something different.
You know, I've I've committedmyself to learning how to speak
Spanish and it's not easy, likeyou know.
(34:43):
Everybody and I thought aboutthis the other day everybody
wants to laugh at somebody whohas broken English, but they
know two languages.
You don't shut up.
Yeah, shut up.
And so I'm.
I'm diligently trying to learnthat and I'm going to tell you
it's not easy.
It's not easy, but I'm notgoing to quit.
Like that's a goal of mine.
I don't know what that serves inmy life other than being able
(35:03):
to communicate with a differentset of people.
It opens up a different world.
But have a goal, set some goals, have some ambition.
And the old saying is that ifyou don't have a goal, you'll
hit it every time.
Yeah, and the shooter for thesun.
You may land among the stars.
You know those sayings.
But you've got to have a goal,you've got to set up.
But there's something.
(35:24):
Listen, if you're listening tome right now as we get ready to
finish, there is absolutelysomething in your life that
energizes you.
There is something you getpumped up about, there is
something that just stokes yourfire, but you've got to go out
and actually get after it.
You can't don't live your lifeand wake up at 75 and think this
(35:48):
sucks.
Wake up tomorrow thinking I'mgoing to get something.
Today.
I'm going to do somethingdifferent.
Today I am not going to be thesame as I was yesterday.
I am not going to go home andclick on the TV and binge
watching each potato chips allafternoon and I'm not going to
work on my dream.
I TV and binge watching eachpotato chips all afternoon and
I'm not going to work on mydream.
I wished I had a business.
Well, get off of the workyou're doing at four or five
(36:08):
o'clock and go home and work onyour business.
Go home and work on your family.
Go home and work on how youtreat your kids.
Go home and work on how youhelp at your church.
Go home and how and volunteerat the civic center.
Go, go, do something.
Live life and quit existing andI promise you you'll be a
better person for it.
(36:28):
The world will be a betterperson for it, because they're
waiting on you Any final words?
Nope, sounds good, all right.
Well, that is it this morning.
Thank you so much for listening.
Hey, listen, if you see adirection you want to go, hop in
the flow with people who areheaded that way and you will get
there.
We encourage you to just be apositive influence in this world
and you'll see good results.
(36:48):
Have a good morning.
Thank you so much for listening.
Yeah, let's see how you dounder pressure.
I've been wanting this forever.
I've been in the field withwhatever they throw at me Brush
it off, pick myself up, movingon to the better.
Ain't no errors, baby, it's anew era.
(37:12):
I wake up early, feeling rich,like I'm Kesha.
Good morning.
Good morning.
This is Brad and I'm with mywife, tiffany.
Good morning, tiffany.
Good morning.
We are the host of the HustleFlow podcast.
We have been having a greatmorning and we just finished a
really powerful podcast on theEmotional Cup, so I hope you
were able to listen to it lastweek and kind of get some things
going.
This morning we're going to betalking about living versus
(00:42):
existing and I think that's agood subject, especially with
maybe where you are in life, andwe're going to jump in there in
just a few minutes and talkabout that stuff.
But if you're listening to thispodcast, guys, hold on.
Football is coming this weekendand I know my wife's like, oh,
(01:04):
you love football season, don'tyou?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
I don't mind it, um, it's just that you, I guess, and
I guess a lot of guys do this,um, and there's probably some
women, but it's you don't.
Just watch the one game it's,and I'll ask you hey, what about
?
What is it the?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
game, one game.
What's that like?
What about after the game?
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
I'll ask you like, what about after the Ole Miss
game is off?
And you're like, okay, wellthen, texas is playing.
And they're like, okay, well,what about that?
Well then, florida's playing,like okay, so it's an all-day
thing, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Saturdays Saturdays in the fall.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, and you're somewhere, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
It is God's gift to us.
No, it's not, it is God's giftto us.
And so, yeah, football's coming, man.
And again, I really have totemper myself on Saturdays.
I've seen that.
I saw this morning somebodyposted I'm not even going to
attend my own wedding on Octoberthe 12th, and like LSU's
(02:05):
playing Ole Miss in, like thishuge four or five big games that
day potentially, and likeeverybody's like I'm not going
anywhere the day.
Don't ask me, I'm not goinganywhere, and so I'm just.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Which is funny Is that the weekend you're.
Are you doing a Spartan inNashville that weekend?
Speaker 1 (02:20):
No, that's the weekend before.
So October the 12th, justpretend I don't exist, because
I'm going to veg out on thecouch and watch football all day
long, because that's just mything.
Man, I love football and sowe're excited about that.
I'm an Ole Miss guy.
Ole Miss is that's what I wastelling my buddies the other day
is that I don't reallyunderstand why they're playing
(02:43):
this year.
Basically all the press comingout of Oxford, mississippi, just
pretty much says that Ole Missis going to be the national
champion.
So if they would just go aheadand give us the trophy, we don't
even have to play the games,because you know prognosticators
, they have it right.
And one thing I know is I'vebeen an Ole Miss fan my whole
life and it is just as well thatwe could go make the playoffs,
(03:09):
lose in the playoffs.
We could win the playoffs.
Or we could stumble our toe andgo eight and four and lose to
Mississippi State at the end,and boy, that would be the
kicker that we all want.
But anyway, I'm just making alittle jab.
Pastor Mike over here has gothis Mississippi State shirt on.
I asked him did he do that?
To antagonize me?
But he swears up and down, hedidn't.
(03:29):
They're good Mississippi Statefans.
I just want you to know thatPastor Mike's one of them.
But anyway, I digress, justjoking.
Football season's coming, wives.
I'm sorry.
Maybe that's your time to shineand go shopping.
Your husband probably won'tnotice the charges because he'll
be busy watching football, butanyway.
(03:49):
So we're going to talk thismorning about living versus
existing, and this comes to mindif you've seen Tiffany's
favorite.
One of Tiffany's favoritepeople is Matthew McConaughey.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yeah, I'll tell you, though Glenn Powell's pushing
him out.
He's a.
I think he is Twister boy.
I think he is the next Matthewand I think he may be giving him
a run for his money.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
But you know why.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
They're both from Texas.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Well, that's one reason but you know another
reason.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
No.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Matthew's kind of aging out.
Nah, I don't know about that.
All right, all right, all right, he's, he is aging out.
So they got to bring in thatthe new blood, and glenn powell
is the new texas blood and, uh,you know I, eventually what's
going to happen is there will bea um, matthew mcconaughey will
(04:43):
play Glenn Powell's father.
That's kind of how that'll be.
So they'll put those twotogether and that's what that'll
be.
But I go back to, if you'veheard him say it, you've got to
start living man L-I-V-I-N.
And I hear that voice in myhead all the time when I think
about Matthew McConaughey.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
What movie was that?
Speaker 1 (05:02):
I don't remember what movie that was, but it's just a
clip.
That's all over reels andsocial media.
You got to start living, man,L-I-V-I-N.
And that's such a truestatement.
Because I was telling you wedrove to South Carolina, oh,
that was a long trip, but anyway, we went to, we bought a truck
(05:24):
and so we left and drove toSouth Carolina and back and I
was exhausted when we got back.
I know you were, but, but wewe've sitting at lunch and I
told you.
I said this is just.
This topic has been on my heartlately about living versus
existing.
Because at 52, I'm living man,Like when I wake up, I am living
, I am, I am, I am determined totake life and grab it and go.
(05:48):
And do I, do I like live everyday?
No, there's probably days I canwake up and exist, but I am
doing everything I can at 52 tolive.
And I think it comes back towhere and we can just we're
going to hop in there and talkabout maybe some signs of you
existing versus living.
It comes back to this life isshort, yeah, and I don't know
(06:13):
like I want to live.
I'd love to live, to be ahundred years old and be able to
watch my, my kids grow andwatch my grandkids and great
grandkids and dance with them attheir weddings and you know all
the things and be able to seeall that and but?
But I don't know, I don't know.
You know, last week, if you're,if you're a CrossFit person, if
you're not, this is, this is ofno value to you.
(06:34):
But if you're a CrossFit guy orCrossFit girl, they had the
CrossFit games last week.
That's where they have fourdays of competition.
It was in Fort Worth, Texas,and they crowned the fittest in
the world.
They're all over the world, thefittest people in the world.
And the first event out of thegate was a three-and-a-half-mile
run as fast as you can run andthen an 800-meter swim in the
(06:57):
lake at Fort Worth.
Now to elite athletes andpeople who swim or people who
have you know the caliber ofpeople that were there are top
of the line.
It's not like me, like I'd be,like trying to figure out how to
dive, not, not because I meanI'm, I can't swim very well, uh,
you know I'm saying but um,first event, Lazar Dukic drowned
(07:24):
.
A lead athlete in his 20sdrowned 100 meters from the
finish and his brother was partof that competition and it was a
gut punch to the CrossFitcommunity and the CrossFit games
.
But I go back to.
So what I say is they showed avideo of him getting ready to
(07:48):
run at zero minutes 37 and somechange.
Minutes later he was dead and,yes, he was doing something he
loved.
But I go back to you do notknow what your last minute is
going to be.
You don't know your last day,and so when you live your life
(08:12):
and all you are doing is wakingup day after day after day and
just existing, there's no lifein you, there's no energy,
there's nothing that you lookforward to.
It's a miserable existence, andI want to encourage you you got
to start living.
You can't wait till you retire.
(08:35):
You can't wait till the kidsget out of the house.
You can't wait till this isright or that's right.
You've got to wake up and grablife by the horns and start
living.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Yeah, you know what you just said about you can't
wait until you retire.
And this is we're going to makethe turn here.
We're going to not be as, it'snot going to be as sad, but you
know, I immediately thoughtabout my aunt.
Oh man, my aunt, who was like amother to me.
She was waiting until sheretired to start living.
She did nothing but work,probably 60 hours a week, and
(09:12):
she retired in the spring, Ithink, was well the summer,
early summer, and by October shewas in the hospital with
terminal cancer.
And that's just a few shortmonths.
There was, you know, and that's,and that's what she would tell
me every day in the hospital wasI had plans, I was going to
(09:35):
start vacation, I was going tostart traveling and antiquing, I
was going to.
She would tell me all thethings that she had waited, that
she was going to do.
She would tell me all thethings that she had waited that
she was going to do.
And so you know, I'm sure youknow, yes, that I'm sure she
wishes had she wished that shewould have spent taking more
(09:55):
days off and not had those samelike I'm just existing right now
.
But I'm waiting.
I'm waiting till till I retire.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah, and she was such a great lady, you know, and
that was a sad thing, butthat's a great example, because
that was it.
She wanted to go antiquing andshe wanted to be able to see her
nieces and nephews because shehad become like a grandmother to
them as well and loved them andprovided for them and provided
for you, and so it was insane,it was sad to see that, and so
(10:27):
that's what I'm talking about.
That's a great example.
You can't wait, like you've gotto decide, like I'm going to go
after something and like I'mpassionate about this, like I,
you know, I am passionate.
You've got to go aftersomething.
It you just wake up and you goto work and you come home and
you eat dinner and you watch TVand you cut it off and you go.
(10:47):
You do it again.
That's no life, man, and it'sexhausting.
It's exhausting and emotionallydraining and it's no fun and
it's just easy to want to checkout.
But you can't do that becauseI'm telling you, living your
life to the fullest.
And I've said this I don't knowif I've said this on this
podcast before, but the book Iread late, two or three or four
(11:12):
months ago.
It said that the idea aboutgetting to heaven.
For those who are Christianpeople listening to this podcast
, the idea to getting to heavenisn't to arrive safely at the
door.
It's to come in on two wheels,spinning tires, saying oh my
(11:34):
gosh, what a ride that was.
That was crazy let's.
I wish we could do it again,because you can't go back and
push the rewind button.
Because you can't go back andpush the rewind button.
You know you can't go back andsay you know you can't live life
with regrets, and I thinkthat's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
So you don't mean getting into heaven.
There's a different conceptthan getting into heaven by the
skin of your teeth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm notsaying that I'm saying just a
life, well, well lived, welllived.
When you get there coming in ontwo wheels.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Yeah, I mean, you think about some of the best
people that you can think of.
Their life is full of stories.
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Just they're full of stories and it's hard to create
stories and interesting thingsfrom the same things every day.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, what did you do ?
What did you do with your life?
Well, I went to work.
What else?
I came home.
What else I ate dinner, whatelse I watched CSI?
What else I petted the cat.
Okay, and I'm going to tell you, like at the end of your life
(12:53):
you're going to look around andthink, man, I missed some things
.
Because I don't know like thismay sound whatever and you can
hop in here because I'm nottrying to dominate this, but
it's passionate to me the worlddon't love you back.
Sometimes it's not going togive you the love that you want.
Your company may not give youthe love they want back.
They, they may say you knowwhat we're downsizing and I
appreciate your 30 years you puthere.
(13:14):
But I can tell you, take theday off.
If you got PTO, take it.
I've seen people with I got.
I got six months PTO.
Why?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
You know, when I worked at Cisco food sales and
so I'm always that guy Like, Iread the rules, I read the books
, I read the manuals, I know thestuff.
You know what I mean Churchminutes, I know this stuff.
And so I'd been working thereabout a year and I noticed on my
check there was this thingcalled a Cisco day.
I said what is that?
(13:47):
It had eight hours beside it.
A cisco day.
I said what is this?
And uh, I asked my boss.
He said what that's just they.
They give you a day if you wantto take it and they'll pay you
for it.
You know, he said nobody's evertaken it.
I said really.
I said okay.
I said well, I want to takemine.
He said you want to do what?
(14:08):
I said I want to take my dayoff.
He said ain't nobody ever doneit.
I said okay, so well, tell mewhat day monday through friday
which day would be good nextweek so I can take off?
And so we decided on likewednesday, because that was one
of my lighter days and so.
So what's funny is no joke.
When I did mine, every personin our district took theirs and
(14:30):
I thought I don't want to bepaid eight hours.
I want my day off.
That's the day I can spend withmy wife.
That's the day we can eat somebreakfast together.
That's the day I can carry mykids to school.
That's the day that you know,because I want to live.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
And so does that make sense?
Do you get where I'm comingfrom?
Yeah, like that's, I want tolive versus exist, and so here's
some things.
It's in Texas Metro News, it'sonline.
If you want to pull it up andlook at it, you can do that.
But here are some signs thatyou may just be existing in your
life and not living.
Number one time passes quickly.
(15:06):
Everybody's got a busy life,you know.
I've told you I think it wastwo days ago I said, oh my God,
it's the 12th already that we'vealmost burned through August.
You know how quickly that hasstarted.
But you know, if you discoverthat your days are flying by
without important moments orexperiences, it's a warning sign
, you know.
Do you have any significantevents?
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Well, it goes back to what we just said.
If, every day, if you had torecap your last week, but
everything was I went to workand I went home and watched TV,
then that is a sign that thetime is passing quickly, but you
don't have any memorableexperiences, or?
Speaker 1 (15:43):
moments, yeah, and that's one thing I think that we
have really tried to do.
You know, maybe we were youngerwe didn't do such a great job
at that, but the older we get,we really do try to celebrate
moments and make memories andmake moments.
You know, we did a podcast onmemories and moments, but time
passing quickly.
I want to remember my grandsonbeing born.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
You know, I want to remember my daughters graduating
from college or my son.
I want to remember those things.
I want to remember last week mydad had a procedure.
You know, I don't know how longhe lives, but I want to
remember the fact that I wasthere when he woke up and he
gave me that fist bump.
You know what I'm saying.
My brother, he hugged mybrother but gave me a fist bump.
You know what I'm saying.
(16:27):
He probably would have.
He probably would have huggedme too.
You know, you understand, ourdemeanors are a lot alike.
We're.
We're a little gruff, toughsometimes, and so it was the
fist bump and I want to be thereand remember that, you know.
And so there are definingmoments in life, and if you've
ever read Dr Phil's book, like Ican't imitate Dr Phil, but Dr
(16:47):
Phil says you have 10 definingmoments in your life.
There's 10 defining moments whomake you who you are, make you
what you are.
And when you get into justletting time pass quickly,
there's times you may miss thatdefining moment and you may not
realize that it was a definingmoment in your life and you miss
it.
So another thing, and I'm goingto say sometimes one of us has
(17:11):
a little more issue with thisone than the other.
We're not calling people outtoday, we're just talking
Negative self-talk.
You may be existing if you havea bunch of negative self-talk.
Everybody criticizes himselfsometimes, right?
Speaker 2 (17:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
But what's the difference in criticizing
yourself and then being negativeabout yourself?
What's your thought there?
Because I yell when I'm in thewoods and I'm running, people
probably think I'm crazy,because I'm like suck it up, man
, you suck, keep running, keepgoing, keep going.
You can do this, you know.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Well, I think that the difference is, you know, not
letting it become a habit,right, if you're a perfectionist
, you can probably really get ina loop, a constant loop of
negative self-talk andself-criticism.
And I believe that we should be, to an extent, being
(18:10):
self-critical as far as alwayswanting to be better and
changing and not being stuckwith the same traits or
behaviors or bad habits.
However, if it's, if you'retalking to yourself so ugly all
the time that it's affectingyour self-esteem and your
self-worth, then it's, you know,then it's a problem.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Yeah, that's it, that's it right.
There is that if you look inthe mirror and think you're
hideous, you are ugly, not goodenough, you're not good enough,
you're not going, you're not.
That's.
That's the different conceptversus saying hey, you could do
better.
Yeah, you know, because we'reall there Right, and you know
there are people who.
Another sign is you have aboring routine.
(18:51):
You tell me all the time that Icould be boring.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
That's not, I didn't, I've not said it quite like
that.
Well, maybe not quite that meanI've said that without me.
Okay, you would be boring you.
I didn't say, I don't even sayboy, obviously you would get
into the.
You would do the same boringroutine and have very boring
days if you did not have meSemantics, okay, but, but you
(19:22):
know.
Because, would you not do you?
You, you would have thatpropensity to wake up at the
same time.
Go do the exact same workout,whether it's a run or CrossFit
workout.
Eat the same thing.
You were mad this morningbecause you were out of the only
protein that you will drink tomake your shakes.
You would not touch any otherprotein I had in the house.
(19:43):
You know, because it's yourroutine.
And you would go do the exactsame things if enter me, me,
yeah because you bring theenergy.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
You know boring routines, you know do you repeat
the same thing, but thedifference is I would repeat the
same thing because I'm aroutine person but I have energy
about my routine.
But a lot of people, if you'reexisting, not living, you do it
without energy.
And the word there that you andI talked about is joy.
You do things without joy.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Now let's talk about joy for a minute.
Joy, happiness.
You know, I've heard people sayI'm just not happy.
Who cares?
Who cares?
If you want to be happy, thenyou may be happy today, but you
may not be happy tomorrow.
Happiness is fleeting.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
You know, I mean, we're biblical people.
My Bible don't say somethingabout being happy, but it does
say something about having joy.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
What's the difference between happiness and joy?
What are your thoughts?
I mean, joy is intrinsic joy isintrinsic.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Yeah, I think joy is a deeper seeded emotion that
comes from, you know, otherother values and things that are
going on in your life andhappiness is sometimes just
dependent upon the situation andit can fleet.
I was happy this morning andnow I'm not happy this afternoon
.
You know, I think on Facebookisn't there even a Tiffany is
(21:21):
feeling unhappy, or Tiffany,because it's a smaller, I
believe, emotion that can changerapidly.
But joy, I think, is deeperseated.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah, would you, would you say that that maybe
joy is satisfaction, that youcan be satisfied no matter what
you are and where you are andwhat's going on?
Yeah, and you know, that's onething that I that I have always
admired about you is that you dohave a sense of joy and you can
uh, if I've got $10 or $10,000,you can still be joyful.
(21:57):
Whereas I've had to work onthat, I've had to work on the
joy part of my life and realizethat the small things I can have
joy in the small things too,and I can do it with energy and
joy and happiness and there'sthat satisfaction that comes.
And so if you fall into aboring routine, there's nothing
wrong with routine.
(22:17):
I think routine is great, Ithink routine, especially for
people who have addictivepersonalities, is good.
But you can't do it withoutenergy.
That's where there becomes aproblem.
You just exist.
You get up, you go work home,tv, sleep, work home, tv, sleep
or monotonous habit, and you'renot living.
Another thing is another wayyou can tell if maybe you're
(22:38):
existing instead of living isavoiding social interactions.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
You know I was thinking about this.
We are now glorifying stayinghome and not going and
connecting with people.
There's so many reels and ticktocks and all the things about
you know, um, I don't know wherey'all are at.
You know seven o'clock on asaturday night.
I'm not.
You know I'm not coming.
(23:02):
I'm, I'm gonna be home.
I like myself, I like, I like tobe in my bedroom with the the?
Um, the curtains pulled and thetv on or whatever, not around
people or, and people say it'stoo people-y, um, all those
things.
We and I I don't know if covidis the blame or not, but I know
that we are becoming a less andless social?
(23:25):
Um society as far as wanting tobe around people and wanting
that interaction with peoplethat we once you know that I
think that we once had.
So I think we're celebratingthe fact now of being by
ourselves and not wanting to bein places where it's people-y
and hang out and seek that it'sa lot more comfortable now to be
(23:48):
on TikTok or even to be textingsomebody than to actually be in
their presence.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Right, but you said it though.
They still want a connection,but they want likes and comments
, not the connection, becauseavoiding social interaction
listen, I get it, sometimes I'llbe one of those.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Sometimes it's too people-y for me, like I'm good
in crowds, like I'm good withpeople, but sometimes I just
don't really want to, you knowgood with people, but sometimes
I just don't really want to, youknow, you know, and bouncing
off that there's times sometimesand I am a peopley person I I
don't mind crowds, I don't mindgroups, but sometimes there are
things that I just don't want togo do.
But I always feel energized andbetter when I when I actually
(24:30):
did it and went oh yeah, there'snothing worse than making plans
.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
And then, when it's time to go, do the plans?
You're like, oh, do I have togo?
And you're like, yeah, you'regoing to go, you're going to
have a good time when you getthere.
And I'm like, no, I will not.
And you're like, yes, you will.
I'm like I'm not going to havea good time.
And then I come home and I'vehad a good time, you know.
So, uh, but I think, I think,though, you, you, you said it if
(25:00):
you, it's easier to textsomebody than it is to be in
front of them.
But human, human contact, uh,avoiding social interaction,
human contact grounds youemotionally.
You know, you, you nobody might.
When you send that text, theymight not even see your face,
but if I'm sitting in front ofyou, I can see when your eyes
(25:22):
get big when I ask you aquestion like oh, what are you
asking?
Or you can see the emotionbehind something you know, and
that's why I hate texting email,because there's no emotion
behind that.
And so sometimes, the way it'sread or the way it's seen, but
you know, human interaction, man, it grounds you emotionally.
You cannot bond with a screen,right, you cannot, and so when
(25:46):
it's hard to create those likewe're talking about.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
It's hard to create moments when you're not who.
Are you creating the momentwith cat right now?
Um, it's hard to create thosemoments and memories if you're
isolating.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Right?
I think so too.
Another sign that you may beexisting versus living is that
you don't have any hobby orinterests, and that's one thing.
That I've got plenty of hobbies.
I have hobbies, and that's onething you and I've talked about
before.
Is you trying to find a hobby?
But sometimes as a marriedcouple, it's hard to have
(26:22):
opposite and separate hobbiesand you feel obligated Well,
this is their hobby, so I needto go do this versus you finding
something yourself.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
You know, if you don't have any hobbies or
interest in hobbies like for me,they relieve stress.
Like my hobbies working out andrunning it relieves stress.
It hurts my body, I'm tired,but for me when I go out there I
can clear the mechanism, I canclear my mind and I can get out
there and just put junk behind.
(26:48):
You know, I've got a hobby, butI think, I think, if you don't
have some kind of hobby, Ibelieve that it really does not
allow you to live Feeling emptyor depressed.
You know, feeling empty, Ithink, sometimes, like you got
(27:09):
to fill it with something andthat goes back to, you know,
just finding that thing thatmakes you tick, Uh and and again
, I think that that matters.
You know, lack of meaningfulrelationships Um, we just talked
about that.
I think that you need to findpeople who will make you better.
(27:29):
You need to find people whowill make you better and
challenge you.
Um, if, if you're, if you andthat's the sometimes that's a
challenge for me, cause I'm a,I'm a creature of comfort and I
like comfort and I don't like tobe around people that are not
like me sometimes, because thenit challenges me to think
differently.
But I think that's a good thing.
(27:50):
I think I think you need to tobe around people from different
ethnicities, socioeconomicbackgrounds.
I think that you need to finddifferent cultures because that
helps you, as a person, realizethat there's somebody else
besides you and that the world'snot about you.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
You know Constant boredom.
We've talked about that.
What do you think about this?
You're not living if you havelittle physical activity.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Yeah, of course that's big in our world.
But endorphins make you happyand we just said you're not
going to be happy necessarilyall the time.
You're not going to be happynecessarily all the time, but it
is.
It is very critical to youremotional well-being and all of
(28:42):
those things to find somethingwhether it's walk, whatever,
just getting outside't have anycircles anywhere.
Find something you think youwould like to do.
Find you a walking groupkickboxing, crossfit, I don't
(29:07):
know where else they have stronglike gyms, they have strong
communities at.
But find you a community ofpeople to go and live life with
and to do those things with.
But yeah, physical activity toowill get you out of that rut so
that you can live.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
I think that's it.
I think finding you said itfinding some kind of community,
whether it's a hobby, whetherit's exercise group or something
.
Finding some kind of communityPickleball disc golf, tennis
golf.
Crocheting anything, Findingsome kind of community.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
It's not really a physical activity.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I mean, it might be if your hands are working real
fast, but you understand whatI'm saying.
I think it goes back to findinga community to hang out in,
because you can get better andyou can live when you find
something and you never knowwhat you really like.
You know?
I think procrastinationlaziness is another one.
You prioritize satisfactionabove doing critical tasks and
(30:03):
lazy people and procrastinatorswant to just let life happen to
them.
But sometimes you've got tograb a hold and you got to go
neglecting responsibilities.
You just wander aimlesslywithout a purpose.
You know, I'll say this youneglect obligations.
There's major consequences thatcome from that.
Major consequences but I likethis one I want to talk about
(30:26):
this one for a minute isescapism.
Escapism People escape into somany things and so when you
start to escape into life uh,things other than than just
living real life it's a problem.
(30:47):
It's a real problem.
You know, I told you before I'man ncaa football guy.
I love it.
New uh 2025 just came out.
But, like, I'm in this groupand it's fun to watch.
But I followed this one guy andhe spent, I think I told you,
259 hours on the game andtalking about all the national
(31:11):
championships he won.
And the truth is, when he cutsthat game off, he has absolutely
accomplished zero, Absolutelyaccomplished zero.
He is escaped versus getting upkilling something and dragging
it home.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Yeah, because it sounds like that's moved past
just being a hobby or interestand that has become a form of
escapism.
Yeah, instead of living anddoing the things that we going
back to what we just said,making the moments and making
the memories that's turned intosomething besides just a fun
hobby.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Well, you know, do a work.
People do it with their kids.
They escape, they just get intosomething else, and so you know
, I think that that just reallyreally gets into a problem.
Excessive time spent on screensis one way you can tell if
you're existing, not living.
(32:05):
Um, and we've all done it.
Look, we've all done it.
You're sitting with somebodywho's flesh and blood and you're
scrolling the screen, lookingat other people's lives and and
and just mindlessly scrolling.
It's a habit.
You hop on there and you'relike just flipping, you just
flipping, just flipping're justflipping, you're just flipping,
you're just flipping, you'rejust flipping.
But I can tell you that movingfrom existing to living is
(32:28):
flipping a switch, saying youknow what?
I'm not going to be the sameperson next week.
I'm going to do somethingdifferent today, and I think it
comes back to maybe having nogoals and no ambition well, I
think.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I think that that's a good, a good point to probably
wrap up with is that one way tolive and and to not just exist
is to set, set some goals, setsome ambitious goals, some very
lofty goals.
You rekindle some passions andsome, you know, desires and
ambitions and spend some timelike working towards something
(33:08):
and kind of renewing purpose,cause that's what that can do
Sometimes it's having goals canrenew purpose and you, when
you've lost your drive and yourpurpose and you are just living
and existing Right.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
What kind of goals you got, you got, you got
anything, really, I mean?
I mean, mean, what's the goalof yours?
What do you want to do?
Speaker 2 (33:28):
well, I'm behind I'm behind, but I'm still still
working towards towards books um.
One of our goals was podcast,and here we are.
I don't even know what episodewe're at and I don't know and it
seemed 30, 29 yeah, I mean it's, it's that's this year in 20,
you know 2024.
that was a goal and so that hasgot us out of our our routine
(33:49):
that we would have normally beenin, and it's been fun to um to,
to see this unfold.
And so you know some of myother goals my, my filming, food
, you know, cooking videos.
I can't wait to see that unfoldand what that'll bring, because
it's just been something likegoing back to the whole thing of
(34:11):
not just we could have easilyjust done the same thing we
always do, but this is one ofthose things that's gotten us
out of that routine of justexisting.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Yeah, Because we and then I think that's it is that
you really never know what yourthing is until you get out there
and find something you know.
If it don't work, shut it down,try something else, do
something different.
You know, I've I've committedmyself to learning how to speak
Spanish and it's not easy, likeyou know.
(34:43):
Everybody and I thought aboutthis the other day everybody
wants to laugh at somebody whohas broken English, but they
know two languages.
You don't shut up.
Yeah, shut up.
And so I'm.
I'm diligently trying to learnthat and I'm going to tell you
it's not easy.
It's not easy, but I'm notgoing to quit.
Like that's a goal of mine.
I don't know what that serves inmy life other than being able
(35:03):
to communicate with a differentset of people.
It opens up a different world.
But have a goal, set some goals, have some ambition.
And the old saying is that ifyou don't have a goal, you'll
hit it every time.
Yeah, and the shooter for thesun.
You may land among the stars.
You know those sayings.
But you've got to have a goal,you've got to set up.
But there's something.
(35:24):
Listen, if you're listening tome right now as we get ready to
finish, there is absolutelysomething in your life that
energizes you.
There is something you getpumped up about, there is
something that just stokes yourfire, but you've got to go out
and actually get after it.
You can't don't live your lifeand wake up at 75 and think this
(35:48):
sucks.
Wake up tomorrow thinking I'mgoing to get something.
Today.
I'm going to do somethingdifferent.
Today I am not going to be thesame as I was yesterday.
I am not going to go home andclick on the TV and binge
watching each potato chips allafternoon and I'm not going to
work on my dream.
I TV and binge watching eachpotato chips all afternoon and
I'm not going to work on mydream.
I wished I had a business.
Well, get off of the workyou're doing at four or five
(36:08):
o'clock and go home and work onyour business.
Go home and work on your family.
Go home and work on how youtreat your kids.
Go home and work on how youhelp at your church.
Go home and how and volunteerat the civic center.
Go, go, do something.
Live life and quit existing andI promise you you'll be a
better person for it.
(36:28):
The world will be a betterperson for it, because they're
waiting on you Any final words?
Nope, sounds good, all right.
Well, that is it this morning.
Thank you so much for listening.
Hey, listen, if you see adirection you want to go, hop in
the flow with people who areheaded that way and you will get
there.
We encourage you to just be apositive influence in this world
and you'll see good results.
(36:48):
Have a good morning.
Thank you so much for listening.
Yeah, let's see how you dounder pressure.
I've been wanting this forever.
I've been in the field withwhatever they throw at me Brush
it off, pick myself up, movingon to the better.
Ain't no errors, baby, it's anew era.
(37:12):
I wake up early, feeling rich,like I'm Kesha.
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