May 19, 2022 • 41 mins
Even as a child, Kailei Carr could never fit into one box or only be focused on just one thing. All of her experiences along her journey have prepared her for many of the biggest roles in her life, including being a champion and coach focused on empowering women of color in leadership. Kailei Carr is CEO of The Asbury Group, host of the Beyond the Business Suit Podcast, and Executive Director of the Information Technology Senior Management Forum (ITSMF) Emerge Women’s Academy. In this episode, we start early on in Kailei’s life as a bit of a nomad as her family followed her mother’s corporate career rise, to her early corporate career journey, to finding her passion and purpose as a champion of women in leadership, and having the opportunity to lean into her creative energy every single day.
In this episode we cover:
- The profound impact that role models can have in empowering and also impacting the direction of your career
- Why career coaching and supporting women in their leadership journeys, especially women of color, is “healing work” and an opportunity to give back
- Tips and advice for budding and even season entrepreneurs in navigating your first few years to gain traction with your small business
Check out Kailei’s website to learn more about her speaking, workshop, and coaching services
About Kailei Carr
A champion for women in leadership, Kailei Carr is the CEO of The Asbury Group, an organization specializing in developing leaders from the inside out. Her signature approach to leadership presence — which is grounded in one's personal power — has helped high potential leaders around the globe thrive and advance to the most senior ranks. When she’s not coaching clients or speaking at conferences and corporations, Kailei can be found hosting her podcast, Beyond the Business Suit, which has over 250+ episodes and has been downloaded in 100 countries.
Kailei’s advice to executive and executive-bound women has been featured in numerous media outlets including Forbes, Fortune and The Oprah Winfrey Network. Kailei holds an MBA from the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University and a BA from Emory University.
Kailei is on Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jessica Hartley (00:01):
Welcome to the hustle grind shine and reignite
podcast. I'm your host JessicaHartley. Join me on another
journey with amazing andtalented professionals of color,
laugh and cry and take notes.
But most of all be inspired. Allof this and more on our next
episode of hustles grind, shineand reignite blisko. Greetings,
(00:24):
and welcome to another episodeof hustle, grind, shine and
reignite. I'm your host, JessicaHartley, and it is my pleasure
to bring you another episode. Myamazing guest today is Kylie
Carr. She's the CEO of theAsbury group, hosted via the
(00:45):
business suit podcast. And sheis first and foremost a champion
for women in leadership,especially women of color in
leadership. Kylie, welcome tothe show.
Kailei Carr (01:01):
Thank you so much for having me, Jessica.
Jessica Hartley (01:04):
I'm so excited.
I love that you're on the otherside of this today. Kylie's
podcast is fantastic, such awide array of guests that are
doing amazing things. But nowshe gets to be in the hot seat.
And I want to share your storyand your journey with our
listeners today, Kylie. So toget started, we go all the way
(01:28):
back back into time. And we liketo start close to the beginning.
So tell us about little Kylie.
And growing up. Where did yougrow up? What did you do? What
did you want to be? And let'sstart there with your journey.
Kailei Carr (01:46):
Sure. So going way, way, way, way, way back. Way too
far back. Thank you. Thank youappreciate it. So growing up, I
grew up in many differentplaces. So I was born in South
Jersey. Both of my parents werefrom Philadelphia. And when I
(02:08):
was five months old, we moved toupstate New York, we stayed
there until I was about fiveyears old, we moved back to New
Jersey to be close to family.
And then my mom really cheapstarted on her own leadership
journey. So she started incorporate when we were in
upstate New York transition fromteaching. And then once she
started working for a large,fast food chain, company, she
(02:32):
kept rising in leadership. Soevery two to three years, we
would move and we would shewould get a promotion and a
relocation. So we moved fromJersey to the DMV to Colorado,
to the Chicago area, which iswhere their corporate
headquarters was. And we stayedthere from when I was in eighth
(02:53):
grade until I graduated fromhigh school so and then since
I've moved around quite a bit aswell just with my own journey
and and locations with positionsthat I've had. So I think up to
now I've lived in about ninedifferent states. Oh my
goodness. I say that I'm anomad. Although we've been in
Georgia now for six years. AndI'm like, you know, we're not
(03:15):
looking to leave not especiallynot anytime soon. So it's neat
to be back here and just Yeah,it's nice to be stable at the
same time. I enjoy the NASMroute. Yeah, I enjoy being in
different places. But what Iused to want to be when I grew
up, so when people would ask methat when I was about five or
(03:39):
six years old, I would say Iwould tell them I wanted to be a
doctor, a cosmetologist and anoil painter on the side. So I
think that is really revealingthinking about you know by
journey since then, Doctoryou're at some point in time I
realized I did not like bloodthat much. So I put that to the
(04:01):
side pretty quickly. However, Ido feel like a lot of the work
that I do now is healing workand when I think about
cosmetologist, you know when Iwent out on my own over eight
years ago, I started my practicewith Image Consulting and
personal branding work sothere's that creativity with
(04:22):
image as well as oil painting. Iam a Creative At Heart so as
much as I am a business personand you know I have my MBA and
all of that. I'm very much rightbrain left brain so I and I'm a
multi passionate so I can't justdo one thing, Jessica. I've
always been like that. There'sno box you could put me in. It
(04:45):
makes my husband crazy. He'slike, can you pick just one
thing to focus on? I was like, Ican't this is the ABCs of me.
Jessica Hartley (04:54):
Life's too short. I love it the many layers
of Kylie car. Oh, I love I loveit. That's so fantastic. So you
were in high school? You know,we're all I mean, first of all,
let me rewind, what an amazingrole model and sort of testament
(05:14):
to being able, you know, we talka lot about, it's hard to be
what you can't see. But you sawit. You saw it every day, you
had a strong, amazing mom, thatwas showing you what it meant to
be able to take care of yourfamily, but also pursue career
and not just pursue career butlike career climbing, how
(05:36):
transformative to have thatalmost sort of built into the
your DNA as you're gettingstarted?
Kailei Carr (05:41):
Yes, absolutely.
Absolutely. I mean, you know, mymom is the reason why I do so
much. Why I do this work,honestly, in honor of her
legacy. So I started mypractice, after my mom passed
away, my mom passed away in2013. And it's a pivotal moment
in my career. And even in thetrajectory of the work that I
do. Because I was working incorporate, I was leading a
(06:04):
marketing department for atechnology company. At the same
time, my mom was battling stagefour esophageal cancer. So I was
taking care of her I was, youknow, working from home, thank
goodness, my company allowed meto do that. And I was also
planning my wedding and gotmarried, my company asked me to
relocate. And they said, youknow, we'll wait for your mom to
(06:28):
get better. And but if you don'twant to take the relocation,
well, that's a differentconversation. I said, Yeah,
let's have, let's have thatconversation. So let's have that
conversation. So my last dayworking, there was on a Friday
on Monday, my mom passed away.
And it was that moment thatcaused me to reevaluate
everything in my career. And Irealized that life is too short.
(06:53):
And everything inside of mesaid, this is a season to give
back to others, and to leveragemy strengths and my skills and
my calling really, to do thiswork that has transitioned. And
I honestly believe that my momis helping me on the other side
that we're doing this together.
Jessica Hartley (07:13):
Yes, yes. Yes.
All I love so much of how you'veweaved in, you know, both your
personal passions and goals. Buthow can you take in and sort of
put out all of that your mom,I'm sure poured into you into
others. So we'll come back tothe Asbury group in this journey
(07:35):
for the last eight years. Butlet's talk about before that,
and your experiences ofnavigating corporate America
very much as a woman of color.
You know, you started out yourcareer and like HR and
administration now and what didyou go to undergrad for? And how
(07:57):
did that sort of be the catalystfor where you started? That? I'm
very curious about that?
Kailei Carr (08:02):
Yes. So my, because I'm a multi passionate Jessica,
I could not pick one, one major,I was even a double major of
voice. So at one point, after Ilet the doctor thing go, I
wanted to be a singer. I was incollege, I knew my parents would
not pay that big tuition for meto to be to be a complete voice
(08:27):
major. So I was a voice and Ithink the name of the major was
interdisciplinary studies andsociety and culture, and which
means pick your own stuff. Pickyour own major, and I was like
that is made for me. So Ifocused on the impact of music
(08:48):
on culture and culture on music.
And I did my senior thesis onthe Harlem Renaissance, and to
as further reflection and fat inforeshadowing, my my thesis was
not only a paper, but it was Icreated a website I found
somebody on campus. Of course Idid. And this is your I'm an old
Jessica Hartley (09:12):
back in the website was like,
Kailei Carr (09:15):
like, in 9097 98.
To have a website was unheardof. So I think my professor was
so enamored with the fact that Ieven created a website that I
had to get an A. But anyway, Idigress.
Jessica Hartley (09:32):
All the overachievers Dan Oh, and do two
assignments when you
Kailei Carr (09:36):
only have you only me all the things so you can do
Jessica Hartley (09:41):
and we are doing them all
Kailei Carr (09:43):
the most all the time all the time. So I ended up
going into HR and that was notmy intention. My mom, you know,
had a career in HR, but I neverthought that's where I would I
would end up but that's where Idid the beginning of my career
was really folk This one HR butas a testament to not letting a
(10:04):
job description deter you fromputting your hat in the ring.
There was a position that Iapplied for that required five
to seven years of experience. Igot the job. Let me tell you how
much HR experience that I hadJessica, I had a summer
internship at the 96 Olympicswhere I worked for McDonald's on
(10:29):
the Olympic Village, you know,doing HR, which was really just
taking it like it was paperworklike it wasn't real HR. Yeah, I
had worked for when Iimmediately graduated from
college, I took a position withan employment staffing agency
that I stayed for only fourmonths, because the CEO, she was
crazy. Oh, she was crazy. Myspidey senses were like Leave,
(10:53):
leave, leave, leave, like you donot need to be in this
environment. So I had it lessthan a year of experience. But
they gave me the job. Tell mehow
Jessica Hartley (11:03):
you landed that job? Well, Kylie, how do you
think you landed?
Kailei Carr (11:07):
I think God, first and foremost, but even outside
of God, I think the fact that Ieven submitted my resume was
one, there was a recruitingfirm, who they had hired to try
to find somebody. So thatrecruiting firm was incredible.
They really wanted me to dowell. So they prepared me for
(11:29):
the interview. My father, andmother both prepared me for the
interview. And here I was, youknow, 2223 years old, like I
thought I knew everything. And Ididn't know a thing. But I think
because I showed up in a waythat I was competent, even
though I didn't have theexperience. And they could see
the potential in me. And I waseager, I was eager, I was
(11:51):
confident I had good, I wasprepared, that they gave me this
position. And you know, theperson who had previously been
in the position, he was in thatposition for 20 years, the
person who was leading thedepartment retired, and he took
over that position. So hebrought me in as his successor.
And from that experience, theyput me in a high potential
(12:13):
program, they gave me visibilityat the senior rank at the chief
HR officer level in theorganization. And it was a
really pivotal experience for me
Jessica Hartley (12:23):
what a fantastic and just, you know,
fortuitous opportunity to haveliterally at the beginning of
your career in so many lessonsthat you were able to sort of
gain so early on, that wouldobviously drive things in the
future in that idea of, even ifyou don't check all the boxes,
(12:43):
and we say that a lot, right,plenty of articles, and podcasts
and movies and all the things,especially in the last 10 years
with the big movement of morewomen in leadership, which is
around, even if you don't checkall the boxes, most people don't
check all the boxes, but there'sso much that you can bring to
the table. Gotta put your hat inthe ring, and I am so
(13:04):
appreciative to hear that evenagain, Yong chi li 2223 With
that fire, of knowing your worthand value, but also surrounding
yourself with a village ofpeople who are supporting you
and guiding you along the way.
That's just fantastic. So youstarted in HR. At some point,
(13:25):
you said, Cool. Y'all want me tobe the successor for this, but
this is an IT. And she made apivot. So let's talk about that
pivot.
Kailei Carr (13:35):
Yeah, the first pivot was going into consulting.
So here, I'd stayed in thatfirst position for about two
years, I was living in a smalltown in South Carolina. So even
though I had visibility up tothe top of the organization, but
I mean, being in my early 20s inSouth Carolina, like it nothing
(13:57):
against South Carolina, nothingagainst South Carolina, but I am
not. I am not a rural girl. No.
I mean, every weekend, I'd begone. And it hit me at some
point that I really needed amore progressive experience. And
I did a lot while I was there, Iinstilled their first sexual
harassment training it who didwhat did I know? But I was
(14:19):
adamant. I mean, the fact that Iwas a black woman in leadership.
Looking back now I realized Ichanged their policies. By being
there. I looked at theirpolicies. There were people who
on this manufacturing plantfloor, were coming in with
Confederate flags. And therewere jokes that were racial
(14:41):
joke, like racist jokes thatwere in people's lockers. They
never had any policies againstthat. So I instilled those
things and it wasn't that youknow, I mean, I know my boss met
Well, he did not have thatperspective. So it was easy for
me to even at that young Ah, togo in and say, This is not
right, we need to have a policyin place. So I think, yeah, in
(15:03):
my gut, I knew that I had donewhat I was there to do. And that
the trajectory for me withinthat organization was not where
I wanted to go, even thelocations that would be
available to me, the mostcosmopolitan one was like, Grand
Prairie, Texas, and it was asmall location. And there was
that was unlikely. And I didn'twant to be in Milwaukee or
(15:27):
Pittsburgh. And so I mentionedto a friend who was working at
Accenture at the time to say,Hey, I'm thinking about looking
at opportunities. And then Istarted my pivot, or I had a
pivot very quickly intoconsulting, which lasted for
about five years. And then Irealized that I wasn't bringing
enough creativity into my role.
(15:51):
And I decided that or into mywork, I should say, and I
decided to get my MBA and madethe transition into marketing,
and digital media.
Jessica Hartley (16:00):
I love that. I love that. So you went into
marketing, and digital media,and you really sort of just
started to climb very muchprobably like your mom. And so
talk to me about just thatexperience, you had had some
work experience before, whichwas fantastic. And then went
back to school and got your MBA,and then went into the marketing
(16:23):
side of things. And so what wasit like, you know, you were sort
of manager, you know, SeniorManager, executive in terms of
levels moving in there, andyou're a woman of color
navigating these environments.
And we know what theseenvironments look like. So how
are you in that?
Kailei Carr (16:41):
It's really interesting, you know, this was
a time when digital media wasexpanding. So here, I came into
graduating from business school,going into the marketplace,
thinking that I would be workingin traditional media. And what I
found was that there was thisneed for more digital focus. So
(17:03):
I all of my positions afterbusiness school were digital in
nature, even when I was workingfor a traditional media company,
for instance, I found, I think,you know, my intuition, it plays
so much of a role in my life.
And in my career, I thinkintuitively, I knew that I had
an opportunity to have a greatervoice if I focused on digital.
(17:26):
But this was at a time whenthere were very few black
people, and very few women indigital media. So I would go to
conferences, and I would be theonly black person and sometimes
the only woman. So in a sea ofwhite and Asian men. Yeah, I
(17:47):
remember even in New York, so Iwas in Dallas, I moved to New
York, I would go to digitalmedia conferences. And I
remember there was oneconference that was Tristan
Walker and me. And you know,some people may know Tristan
Walker from bevel, at the time,he was at Foursquare, which was
huge at that point in time. Andso it was like Tristan Walker,
(18:09):
and I at this conference, butthat was typical. I think
throughout my career, I alwaysknew the opportunity I had to be
a representation of, of what ablack woman was. Because in my
upbringing, my my example of howI perceived black women was my
(18:31):
mom and her friends. They wereeducated. Yeah, they were
powerful. They were spiritual.
They were show amazing yet Iwould look at television. And
like, where I would look in themedia and say, well, where where
are people like, like this is?
Yeah, yeah. And given my parentsexperiences in corporate
(18:54):
America, I expected to be seenas inferior. And even on my
consulting gigs, I would have inmy office, I would have a
picture of my friends in me. AndI would say, oh, yeah, like my
line sisters, I would say, oh,yeah, she's at Harvard, getting
her JD MBA. She's at Columbia,getting her JD Oh, she's in
medical school at Johns Hopkins.
(19:20):
And so that people who I workedwith, could see that it's not
just me. Here's my circle. So Ifound that throughout my career,
as I continued to claim that Iwas there as a representation of
a black woman, person, yes. AndI also was in a field that
didn't have a lot ofrepresentation. So it was
(19:42):
important for me to have thatvoice at the table and be very
vocal. Yeah. And not shy awayfrom not even conversations but
to be seen. It was important forme to be seen because I knew the
almost The mandate that I had todo so for others Yeah.
Jessica Hartley (20:03):
But also, the flip side of that is the
incredible burden of that rightto be able to show up like we
show up every day. Because wecan't show up like other people
show up every day, we have toshow up differently. And you're
not only advocating and having avoice for others, but you're
also doing it because it is inservice to what you need. And
(20:26):
being a woman of color needingthings as well. How did mentors
play a role for you on thecorporate side of things in
terms of navigating thoseenvironments, behind the scenes
in the rooms where you don'tknow where you don't have a seat
at that table, that door islocked and hidden, you know,
behind all kinds of things, howto mentors play a role in that
(20:49):
for
Kailei Carr (20:49):
you sure, I had several mentors, and not
necessarily a lot of mentors whowere outside of my organization
that I would call up and we hada formal relationship. It was
more so mentorship through mymanagers, I had some incredible
managers, I can think back tothree in particular, actually,
(21:11):
honestly, in all of my, I'mrealizing in this moment, at
each company I worked at, I hadmentors, I had mentors, most of
them were my managers, they gaveme mentorship, they were
invested in my careerdevelopment, and I had very
strong relationships with them.
There was one company I workedfor, in Dallas, my manager
(21:34):
wasn't my mentor, but there wasa senior black woman, the most
senior black person in thisorganization. She was their CFO.
And she I mean to this day,number one to this day, I still
consider her a mentor. But I canstill remember conversations
(21:55):
that we had back in 2007 2008,where she gave me not even
business advice and mentorship,it was more so when you decide
to have children hear all thesupplements you need, or, you
know, just sharing how sheparents her daughter. I mean, I
(22:19):
was dating my husband at thetime, I didn't even know we were
gonna get met if we were on thatroute. But seeing her as an
example of living a healthy wellrounded, well life, being a
mother, a wife, and executive,she took two years off to take
care of her daughter when shefirst and when her daughter was
(22:41):
zero to two. And just seeing heras an example, this powerful
black woman who was incredible,yeah, who had made a name for
herself and did not skip a beat.
Even with that break. Again, tothis day, it had such a profound
impact on me.
Jessica Hartley (22:57):
Wow. I love that and also just continuing to
shatter these perceptions in thestigma that women particular
women of color, and other blackwomen, for example, can be
supportive. And I was sharingwith someone else, there's pie
(23:17):
at the table for everybody. It'sa buffet, you can have what you
want. Yeah, and part of, of someof what you said that mandate of
having to help and support andgive voice to others is saying
in recognizing that we don'thave a scarcity mindset. There
is abundance here and everyonecan take part. I appreciate you
(23:40):
sharing that story about thatmentor and, and how she just
shared with you the whole humanof who she was. So let's talk
about the Asbury group. So yourmom passed away, which of course
is so traumatic, so young, andjust you are newly married, and
(24:01):
kids and just all these thingson the horizon and your career
sort of steadily moving up,probably not as fulfilling as
you wanted it to be. But there'ssort of forward momentum. And
you have this moment, thismilestone in time, and you made
the decision. I'm going to goand follow my heart and my
passions. Talk to me about yearone, because we know that most
(24:26):
businesses rise and fall withinthe first they don't make it
past their one year anniversary.
But you're celebrating overeight. So talk to me about the
triumphs and maybe some of thechallenges of just getting
started in those first couple ofyears.
Kailei Carr (24:42):
Yes, so year one oh my goodness. Who and I love
talking about this I lovetalking about these will
Jessica Hartley (24:50):
need to hear the real thing Kai
Kailei Carr (24:52):
label need to hear the real deal. And I have
learned because now I've seen itin so many other people. Yeah,
I'm here. happy to share thisbecause so when I left
corporate, even though I hadthis strong calling toward doing
something that was more alignedwith passion and purpose, it's a
transition. You know, I had beenin corporate for over 15 years.
(25:16):
So and people knew me, as Kylie,the digital marketer who, you
know, I was on the speakercircuit with my company talking
about digital media and socialmedia and getting the most out
of blah, blah, blah, blah. Andso as I was transitioning, and
also deciding what I wanted,this entrepreneurial venture to
(25:40):
even be, there was a transition.
So some pivotal moments were,you know, I was doing consulting
first. So I did some consultingwith my former boss who had also
left, soon after I did, her neworganization brought me on to do
some work for them that was morealigned with the work that I
used to do. My best friend gaveme an opportunity, which was a
(26:01):
speaking and get a paid speakingengagement, speaking at a
conference with and ended upbeing with Luvvie. Ajayi Jones.
And so at that time, I mean,lovey, yes. Look at that, look
at God, look at God, thatexperience showed me what I was
capable of. It gave me thatfeeling of, Oh, this feels like
(26:25):
home. This feels like home. So Ihad those moments of doing
things that were close to myother job, and then just
exploring. So I was trying tofigure it out. It wasn't clear
to me what I was supposed to bedoing other than doing something
that was based on what I wasskilled at. God said this next
season is about you leveragingyour strengths and experiences.
(26:47):
So I would ask questions to myhusband to my friends, like,
what am I good at? In yourperspective? You know, where,
where have I helped you? Ithought about, Okay, what if
people thanked me for? What dopeople come to me for? So all of
those things helped to shapewhere I was going? There was one
day I was in Chicago at SaksFifth Avenue, and I saw this
(27:08):
display of this bad suit. No, Ithink it was a suit jacket and a
dress. And it was amazing. And Ihad this thought, you know, what
would it be like? Or I wonder ifanybody does image consulting
for executive women? So I hadthat thought, Yeah, a couple of
days later, I had a conversationwith a partner at at a
(27:30):
consulting firm, a black woman.
In our conversation, she said,You know, I should put you in
contact with my imageconsultant. And I said, you have
an image consultant. She said,Yeah, she's amazing. Come to
find out her name was almostlike, we have the same letters
in our name. She has fewerletters, like, it was like, so
(27:51):
God was just like screaming,right? And I'm thinking just two
days ago, I said, I wonder ifexecutives have image
consultants in here? She does.
Yes, that opened up a whole newworld. That woman just blew my
mind. She wanted me to take atone point in time, we had a
conversation about me takingover her company, like it was
crazy. Yeah, it was crazy. Soopened up opportunities. And
(28:13):
then I also started giving stuffaway for free, like, I tested
stuff out, I would go to friendsand say, Hey, can I create a
brand plan for you? Can I createyour brand profile? So I would
do that for free? And then theywould give me feedback? And I
would say, Okay, would you payfor it though? Right. Why would
(28:34):
you pay for it? Like this wasfree? It was good. It was free?
Is it
Jessica Hartley (28:41):
valuable for you to pay for? Yes, yes.
Kailei Carr (28:45):
And then finally, I started talking about it. I
started talking about it onsocial media. I started talking
about personal branding, Istarted talking about elevating
your image. And the next thing Iknew people started coming to me
for speaking engagements. Afriend from high school who
hadn't seen in at least 10years, we only communicate
(29:06):
through Facebook, and she was apartner at a law firm. And she
said, Hey, I see you talk aboutpersonal branding. Can you come
in to talk to our femalepartners? Yeah, about personal
branding. And so all of thosethings now, but let me be clear
that first year, it was a lot ofexploration and not a whole lot
of income of revenue. You know,it was a lot of figuring things
(29:29):
out. It was a lot of testing andgetting my sea legs. And to be
clear, that mode lasted for atleast three to four years.
Jessica Hartley (29:42):
Wow, happy really kind of first half that
first half of the eighth year.
So certainly,
Kailei Carr (29:48):
it was a learning experience. And it took me that
period of time to even get backto what I was making incorporate
before I left.
Jessica Hartley (29:56):
Yes, yes. Yes.
I think that's so whortonBecause there's the obviously
the risk, and the foundationthat you need to be able to go
out on your own. And if you havesupport and other income and
things like that, but there'sthe process, you're starting a
new company, you're offeringproducts and services, it might
be completely unique, or therecould be five others out there.
(30:19):
But there's more than enough foreverybody. But you have to
figure out what that sort ofpath for you is going to be. And
yes, to your point, there is alot of upfront investment. And
it is not just financial, thereis the you know, mental and
emotional investment and thetime and talent investment in
just the investment in yourselfto grow and evolve and learn.
(30:42):
You leave corporate America, youhave a huge infrastructure,
somebody's taking care offinance, and HR and legal, those
are things we don't have toworry about. But as the top, the
SEO, it's all on you. So let'stalk then about that evolution.
So you had three or four yearsof growth, and development and
pivot and Image Consulting andpersonal branding. And you can
(31:06):
start to see the seeds turn intothis beautiful tree plan, you
know, of where you are today. Sotalk about the last four years,
and how that felt sure. Youknow, I've known you for three
years now since I was part ofthe I know since even before
that, because I had theopportunity to join the eMERGE
sessions before I became part ofthe ITSMF Leadership Academy.
(31:30):
And it's just been amazingwatching, watching you and
watching all of these thingsblossom. So let's talk about the
last four years and thatevolution.
Kailei Carr (31:42):
Sure. And it's interesting. So you know, I
started with the ImageConsulting and personal
branding. And what I realizedwas that I could give someone
the exterior evolution and theyou know, polishing and
elevation externally. As thatprogressed, I got into more
executive presence work, andthen started working with ITSMF,
(32:06):
with leading the eMERGE Academyand developing that program,
which was really at this pivotpoint where, you know, I could
help somebody look the part Icould give them even the
checklist of the leadershipcapabilities they needed. But if
they were not right withinthemselves, if they didn't have
a strong enough Foundation, ifthey were not centered, if they
(32:28):
were still healing, there wasonly so far I could take them.
So people would come to me andsay, Oh, well let you know, let
me elevate helped me elevate myimage. But if you are still in a
place of survival or trauma,then I can give you the
exterior, But honey, you you gota lot of work to do. And because
of my nature, we would starthaving those conversations. And
(32:51):
over time I developed this avery much more of a inside out
process. And I realized in orderwhat I really was called to do
and be was a resource for thewhole person, not just the
exterior, not only the interior,but really helping them to align
(33:12):
who they are with how they showup in the world. So I started
doing more leadershipdevelopment programs, more
workshops, more speaking in thatregard. And in the last, gosh,
two years alone, actually, justlast year alone, I worked with
clients on six continentsleadership over last year,
(33:38):
probably trained or had over1000 people in leadership
programs that I eitherfacilitated or CO facilitated.
It's amazing. I'm starting towork with a lot more doing more
executive coaching. And Irealized that I am being called
to do more than just this. And Ineed to build capacity. So just
(34:02):
this year, I've added five newcoaches and facilitators to my
team. That's Yes, yes. So thatas more clients come in, we can
share this message in thisapproach and philosophy of whole
person development. Yes to morepeople in more spaces. So that's
(34:24):
where we are now. So you are
Jessica Hartley (34:27):
literally day in and day out 24/7 pouring into
others, especially pouring intoother women. How do you refill
your cup? What is rejuvenationand you know, how do you take
care of self but obviously weuse this word self care and it's
almost overused andmisunderstood. But when Kylie
(34:52):
needs to take care of Kylie,what does that look like for
you?
Kailei Carr (34:57):
Well, I have a daily practice. And then there's
daily practice in ongoingpractice. And then there's the
Okay, we need to course correct,right. So, Daily Practice for
the past four years, I have amorning routine that I do before
I get out of bed. It's calledclaim I am turning it into a
(35:19):
book because I've shared it withso many people. Yes, they have
claimed it,
Jessica Hartley (35:24):
we I'm here, I'm here for it. I'm ready to
click orders.
Kailei Carr (35:32):
And it really helps to set the foundation for my day
is in the right frame of mindand includes centering and
includes elevating my energy,and setting the intentions for
the day. So that is my dailypractice. I also ongoingly just
tap into my spirit, and do mybest to understand what do I
(35:55):
need at any given moment. So doI need more rest? Do I need more
margin like right now I'mfeeling like, Ooh, I am over
extended. So in March and April,I'm adding in more more margin
more space in my days. And thenthere's the course correcting.
So of course, correcting for meis like, okay, doing regular
(36:18):
exercise, going to the beach,going to the beach, doing things
Jessica Hartley (36:24):
in my life guy like, I've been craving the
beach for two years now.
Kailei Carr (36:31):
Yes, so to this year, my goal is to go to the
beach four times, which is whenI'm at my best. I know what that
looks like quarterly beach time.
Yes, I love so I don't know if Ican make it work. But that is
the goal. Yes, yes. Yes. Sothose are the some of the things
that I do. This is fun, such
Jessica Hartley (36:53):
a delightful conversation, Kylie, it has been
so wonderful to hear about yourjourney, the star also just to
hear about your mom and how, youknow, our moms and aunties and
godmothers, and T Ts, and all ofthese amazing women that we have
in our lives, whether they arefully educated, you know,
(37:15):
formally and all these thingsand work, there's ways in the
corporate career, where theyreally were bootstrapped. And
just making sure they took careof their family. Just so
wonderful to hear how you'vetaken all of that goodness, and
I'm sure a lot of goodness fromour ancestors and elders as
well. And you are channelingthat into women every day. If
(37:38):
you could leave us with a pieceof advice. There probably
hopefully many folks listeningto this episode and listening to
your journey and career. Andwhat advice would you give to
those that are, you know, in themidst of a pivot, whether it's a
(37:59):
personal pivot, or a careerpivot, what's your advice on how
they approach that it can bevery overwhelming, almost, you
know, analysis paralysis of Idon't know what to do. So I'm
not going to do anything. What'syour advice to break through
that?
Kailei Carr (38:18):
My advice would be do not over think it. As high
achievers as smart people, youknow, driven individuals. It's
so easy to over, analyze overstrategize to your point, you
know, analysis, paralysis, andalso lean into the shoulds that,
(38:42):
oh, I should be doing this. Takethat out of it. You know, the
answers, go into a still place,center yourself, connect with
whatever higher being you callto, and receive the answers.
When you receive that nudge thatInkling inside of you that
(39:03):
calling. You will haveeverything you need to make that
work. When you say yes to thatdoors will open serendipity
takes place. You have all theresources that you need, that
will surround you when you sayyes, but when we overthink it
over analyze it. We haveincremental advancement. We can
(39:28):
you know, I know this is we havehustle and grind the name of the
podcast. We can hustle and grindinto it. Yes. But if we only do
the hustle if we only do thehustle and grind it will get us
incremental advancement. Yes.
And we may have to do a lot ofdetours. But when we tap into
(39:48):
ourselves, and our inner knowingand the Divinity inside of us
then we can havetransformational trance
formational cattle, thosepivotal moments, those trying to
find the right words, but thatexponential growth, exponential
growth can take place when welisten to ourselves and lean
(40:12):
into our heart and soul and notjust our heads and minds.
Jessica Hartley (40:18):
I love that we're going to end on that. I
mean, you took us to invariational revival. I'm over
here, Amen and hallelujah,highly calm co the Asbury group
and just so many more slashslash slash, so honored that you
joined me for this conversation.
Can't wait for the book, I amsending you all the writer vibes
(40:41):
and all the things thank youcan't wait. And we look forward
to having you back to talk moreabout the evolution of your
organization and all the thingsthat you're doing with beyond
the business and excited to talkabout the book when it's ready.
So thank you, Kylie.
Kailei Carr (40:59):
Thank you so much for having me, Jessica.
Jessica Hartley (41:04):
Thank you for listening to another episode of
hustle, grind, shine andreignite. If you liked this
episode, like, subscribe andshare on all your favorite
podcasts. I hope you'll tune into the next episode featuring
another amazing and talentedprofessional. In the meantime,
(41:25):
Chiang Rai
Welcome to the hustle grind shine and reignite
podcast. I'm your host JessicaHartley. Join me on another
journey with amazing andtalented professionals of color,
laugh and cry and take notes.
But most of all be inspired. Allof this and more on our next
episode of hustles grind, shineand reignite blisko. Greetings,
(00:24):
and welcome to another episodeof hustle, grind, shine and
reignite. I'm your host, JessicaHartley, and it is my pleasure
to bring you another episode. Myamazing guest today is Kylie
Carr. She's the CEO of theAsbury group, hosted via the
(00:45):
business suit podcast. And sheis first and foremost a champion
for women in leadership,especially women of color in
leadership. Kylie, welcome tothe show.
Kailei Carr (01:01):
Thank you so much for having me, Jessica.
Jessica Hartley (01:04):
I'm so excited.
I love that you're on the otherside of this today. Kylie's
podcast is fantastic, such awide array of guests that are
doing amazing things. But nowshe gets to be in the hot seat.
And I want to share your storyand your journey with our
listeners today, Kylie. So toget started, we go all the way
(01:28):
back back into time. And we liketo start close to the beginning.
So tell us about little Kylie.
And growing up. Where did yougrow up? What did you do? What
did you want to be? And let'sstart there with your journey.
Kailei Carr (01:46):
Sure. So going way, way, way, way, way back. Way too
far back. Thank you. Thank youappreciate it. So growing up, I
grew up in many differentplaces. So I was born in South
Jersey. Both of my parents werefrom Philadelphia. And when I
(02:08):
was five months old, we moved toupstate New York, we stayed
there until I was about fiveyears old, we moved back to New
Jersey to be close to family.
And then my mom really cheapstarted on her own leadership
journey. So she started incorporate when we were in
upstate New York transition fromteaching. And then once she
started working for a large,fast food chain, company, she
(02:32):
kept rising in leadership. Soevery two to three years, we
would move and we would shewould get a promotion and a
relocation. So we moved fromJersey to the DMV to Colorado,
to the Chicago area, which iswhere their corporate
headquarters was. And we stayedthere from when I was in eighth
(02:53):
grade until I graduated fromhigh school so and then since
I've moved around quite a bit aswell just with my own journey
and and locations with positionsthat I've had. So I think up to
now I've lived in about ninedifferent states. Oh my
goodness. I say that I'm anomad. Although we've been in
Georgia now for six years. AndI'm like, you know, we're not
(03:15):
looking to leave not especiallynot anytime soon. So it's neat
to be back here and just Yeah,it's nice to be stable at the
same time. I enjoy the NASMroute. Yeah, I enjoy being in
different places. But what Iused to want to be when I grew
up, so when people would ask methat when I was about five or
(03:39):
six years old, I would say Iwould tell them I wanted to be a
doctor, a cosmetologist and anoil painter on the side. So I
think that is really revealingthinking about you know by
journey since then, Doctoryou're at some point in time I
realized I did not like bloodthat much. So I put that to the
(04:01):
side pretty quickly. However, Ido feel like a lot of the work
that I do now is healing workand when I think about
cosmetologist, you know when Iwent out on my own over eight
years ago, I started my practicewith Image Consulting and
personal branding work sothere's that creativity with
(04:22):
image as well as oil painting. Iam a Creative At Heart so as
much as I am a business personand you know I have my MBA and
all of that. I'm very much rightbrain left brain so I and I'm a
multi passionate so I can't justdo one thing, Jessica. I've
always been like that. There'sno box you could put me in. It
(04:45):
makes my husband crazy. He'slike, can you pick just one
thing to focus on? I was like, Ican't this is the ABCs of me.
Jessica Hartley (04:54):
Life's too short. I love it the many layers
of Kylie car. Oh, I love I loveit. That's so fantastic. So you
were in high school? You know,we're all I mean, first of all,
let me rewind, what an amazingrole model and sort of testament
(05:14):
to being able, you know, we talka lot about, it's hard to be
what you can't see. But you sawit. You saw it every day, you
had a strong, amazing mom, thatwas showing you what it meant to
be able to take care of yourfamily, but also pursue career
and not just pursue career butlike career climbing, how
(05:36):
transformative to have thatalmost sort of built into the
your DNA as you're gettingstarted?
Kailei Carr (05:41):
Yes, absolutely.
Absolutely. I mean, you know, mymom is the reason why I do so
much. Why I do this work,honestly, in honor of her
legacy. So I started mypractice, after my mom passed
away, my mom passed away in2013. And it's a pivotal moment
in my career. And even in thetrajectory of the work that I
do. Because I was working incorporate, I was leading a
(06:04):
marketing department for atechnology company. At the same
time, my mom was battling stagefour esophageal cancer. So I was
taking care of her I was, youknow, working from home, thank
goodness, my company allowed meto do that. And I was also
planning my wedding and gotmarried, my company asked me to
relocate. And they said, youknow, we'll wait for your mom to
(06:28):
get better. And but if you don'twant to take the relocation,
well, that's a differentconversation. I said, Yeah,
let's have, let's have thatconversation. So let's have that
conversation. So my last dayworking, there was on a Friday
on Monday, my mom passed away.
And it was that moment thatcaused me to reevaluate
everything in my career. And Irealized that life is too short.
(06:53):
And everything inside of mesaid, this is a season to give
back to others, and to leveragemy strengths and my skills and
my calling really, to do thiswork that has transitioned. And
I honestly believe that my momis helping me on the other side
that we're doing this together.
Jessica Hartley (07:13):
Yes, yes. Yes.
All I love so much of how you'veweaved in, you know, both your
personal passions and goals. Buthow can you take in and sort of
put out all of that your mom,I'm sure poured into you into
others. So we'll come back tothe Asbury group in this journey
(07:35):
for the last eight years. Butlet's talk about before that,
and your experiences ofnavigating corporate America
very much as a woman of color.
You know, you started out yourcareer and like HR and
administration now and what didyou go to undergrad for? And how
(07:57):
did that sort of be the catalystfor where you started? That? I'm
very curious about that?
Kailei Carr (08:02):
Yes. So my, because I'm a multi passionate Jessica,
I could not pick one, one major,I was even a double major of
voice. So at one point, after Ilet the doctor thing go, I
wanted to be a singer. I was incollege, I knew my parents would
not pay that big tuition for meto to be to be a complete voice
(08:27):
major. So I was a voice and Ithink the name of the major was
interdisciplinary studies andsociety and culture, and which
means pick your own stuff. Pickyour own major, and I was like
that is made for me. So Ifocused on the impact of music
(08:48):
on culture and culture on music.
And I did my senior thesis onthe Harlem Renaissance, and to
as further reflection and fat inforeshadowing, my my thesis was
not only a paper, but it was Icreated a website I found
somebody on campus. Of course Idid. And this is your I'm an old
Jessica Hartley (09:12):
back in the website was like,
Kailei Carr (09:15):
like, in 9097 98.
To have a website was unheardof. So I think my professor was
so enamored with the fact that Ieven created a website that I
had to get an A. But anyway, Idigress.
Jessica Hartley (09:32):
All the overachievers Dan Oh, and do two
assignments when you
Kailei Carr (09:36):
only have you only me all the things so you can do
Jessica Hartley (09:41):
and we are doing them all
Kailei Carr (09:43):
the most all the time all the time. So I ended up
going into HR and that was notmy intention. My mom, you know,
had a career in HR, but I neverthought that's where I would I
would end up but that's where Idid the beginning of my career
was really folk This one HR butas a testament to not letting a
(10:04):
job description deter you fromputting your hat in the ring.
There was a position that Iapplied for that required five
to seven years of experience. Igot the job. Let me tell you how
much HR experience that I hadJessica, I had a summer
internship at the 96 Olympicswhere I worked for McDonald's on
(10:29):
the Olympic Village, you know,doing HR, which was really just
taking it like it was paperworklike it wasn't real HR. Yeah, I
had worked for when Iimmediately graduated from
college, I took a position withan employment staffing agency
that I stayed for only fourmonths, because the CEO, she was
crazy. Oh, she was crazy. Myspidey senses were like Leave,
(10:53):
leave, leave, leave, like you donot need to be in this
environment. So I had it lessthan a year of experience. But
they gave me the job. Tell mehow
Jessica Hartley (11:03):
you landed that job? Well, Kylie, how do you
think you landed?
Kailei Carr (11:07):
I think God, first and foremost, but even outside
of God, I think the fact that Ieven submitted my resume was
one, there was a recruitingfirm, who they had hired to try
to find somebody. So thatrecruiting firm was incredible.
They really wanted me to dowell. So they prepared me for
(11:29):
the interview. My father, andmother both prepared me for the
interview. And here I was, youknow, 2223 years old, like I
thought I knew everything. And Ididn't know a thing. But I think
because I showed up in a waythat I was competent, even
though I didn't have theexperience. And they could see
the potential in me. And I waseager, I was eager, I was
(11:51):
confident I had good, I wasprepared, that they gave me this
position. And you know, theperson who had previously been
in the position, he was in thatposition for 20 years, the
person who was leading thedepartment retired, and he took
over that position. So hebrought me in as his successor.
And from that experience, theyput me in a high potential
(12:13):
program, they gave me visibilityat the senior rank at the chief
HR officer level in theorganization. And it was a
really pivotal experience for me
Jessica Hartley (12:23):
what a fantastic and just, you know,
fortuitous opportunity to haveliterally at the beginning of
your career in so many lessonsthat you were able to sort of
gain so early on, that wouldobviously drive things in the
future in that idea of, even ifyou don't check all the boxes,
(12:43):
and we say that a lot, right,plenty of articles, and podcasts
and movies and all the things,especially in the last 10 years
with the big movement of morewomen in leadership, which is
around, even if you don't checkall the boxes, most people don't
check all the boxes, but there'sso much that you can bring to
the table. Gotta put your hat inthe ring, and I am so
(13:04):
appreciative to hear that evenagain, Yong chi li 2223 With
that fire, of knowing your worthand value, but also surrounding
yourself with a village ofpeople who are supporting you
and guiding you along the way.
That's just fantastic. So youstarted in HR. At some point,
(13:25):
you said, Cool. Y'all want me tobe the successor for this, but
this is an IT. And she made apivot. So let's talk about that
pivot.
Kailei Carr (13:35):
Yeah, the first pivot was going into consulting.
So here, I'd stayed in thatfirst position for about two
years, I was living in a smalltown in South Carolina. So even
though I had visibility up tothe top of the organization, but
I mean, being in my early 20s inSouth Carolina, like it nothing
(13:57):
against South Carolina, nothingagainst South Carolina, but I am
not. I am not a rural girl. No.
I mean, every weekend, I'd begone. And it hit me at some
point that I really needed amore progressive experience. And
I did a lot while I was there, Iinstilled their first sexual
harassment training it who didwhat did I know? But I was
(14:19):
adamant. I mean, the fact that Iwas a black woman in leadership.
Looking back now I realized Ichanged their policies. By being
there. I looked at theirpolicies. There were people who
on this manufacturing plantfloor, were coming in with
Confederate flags. And therewere jokes that were racial
(14:41):
joke, like racist jokes thatwere in people's lockers. They
never had any policies againstthat. So I instilled those
things and it wasn't that youknow, I mean, I know my boss met
Well, he did not have thatperspective. So it was easy for
me to even at that young Ah, togo in and say, This is not
right, we need to have a policyin place. So I think, yeah, in
(15:03):
my gut, I knew that I had donewhat I was there to do. And that
the trajectory for me withinthat organization was not where
I wanted to go, even thelocations that would be
available to me, the mostcosmopolitan one was like, Grand
Prairie, Texas, and it was asmall location. And there was
that was unlikely. And I didn'twant to be in Milwaukee or
(15:27):
Pittsburgh. And so I mentionedto a friend who was working at
Accenture at the time to say,Hey, I'm thinking about looking
at opportunities. And then Istarted my pivot, or I had a
pivot very quickly intoconsulting, which lasted for
about five years. And then Irealized that I wasn't bringing
enough creativity into my role.
(15:51):
And I decided that or into mywork, I should say, and I
decided to get my MBA and madethe transition into marketing,
and digital media.
Jessica Hartley (16:00):
I love that. I love that. So you went into
marketing, and digital media,and you really sort of just
started to climb very muchprobably like your mom. And so
talk to me about just thatexperience, you had had some
work experience before, whichwas fantastic. And then went
back to school and got your MBA,and then went into the marketing
(16:23):
side of things. And so what wasit like, you know, you were sort
of manager, you know, SeniorManager, executive in terms of
levels moving in there, andyou're a woman of color
navigating these environments.
And we know what theseenvironments look like. So how
are you in that?
Kailei Carr (16:41):
It's really interesting, you know, this was
a time when digital media wasexpanding. So here, I came into
graduating from business school,going into the marketplace,
thinking that I would be workingin traditional media. And what I
found was that there was thisneed for more digital focus. So
(17:03):
I all of my positions afterbusiness school were digital in
nature, even when I was workingfor a traditional media company,
for instance, I found, I think,you know, my intuition, it plays
so much of a role in my life.
And in my career, I thinkintuitively, I knew that I had
an opportunity to have a greatervoice if I focused on digital.
(17:26):
But this was at a time whenthere were very few black
people, and very few women indigital media. So I would go to
conferences, and I would be theonly black person and sometimes
the only woman. So in a sea ofwhite and Asian men. Yeah, I
(17:47):
remember even in New York, so Iwas in Dallas, I moved to New
York, I would go to digitalmedia conferences. And I
remember there was oneconference that was Tristan
Walker and me. And you know,some people may know Tristan
Walker from bevel, at the time,he was at Foursquare, which was
huge at that point in time. Andso it was like Tristan Walker,
(18:09):
and I at this conference, butthat was typical. I think
throughout my career, I alwaysknew the opportunity I had to be
a representation of, of what ablack woman was. Because in my
upbringing, my my example of howI perceived black women was my
(18:31):
mom and her friends. They wereeducated. Yeah, they were
powerful. They were spiritual.
They were show amazing yet Iwould look at television. And
like, where I would look in themedia and say, well, where where
are people like, like this is?
Yeah, yeah. And given my parentsexperiences in corporate
(18:54):
America, I expected to be seenas inferior. And even on my
consulting gigs, I would have inmy office, I would have a
picture of my friends in me. AndI would say, oh, yeah, like my
line sisters, I would say, oh,yeah, she's at Harvard, getting
her JD MBA. She's at Columbia,getting her JD Oh, she's in
medical school at Johns Hopkins.
(19:20):
And so that people who I workedwith, could see that it's not
just me. Here's my circle. So Ifound that throughout my career,
as I continued to claim that Iwas there as a representation of
a black woman, person, yes. AndI also was in a field that
didn't have a lot ofrepresentation. So it was
(19:42):
important for me to have thatvoice at the table and be very
vocal. Yeah. And not shy awayfrom not even conversations but
to be seen. It was important forme to be seen because I knew the
almost The mandate that I had todo so for others Yeah.
Jessica Hartley (20:03):
But also, the flip side of that is the
incredible burden of that rightto be able to show up like we
show up every day. Because wecan't show up like other people
show up every day, we have toshow up differently. And you're
not only advocating and having avoice for others, but you're
also doing it because it is inservice to what you need. And
(20:26):
being a woman of color needingthings as well. How did mentors
play a role for you on thecorporate side of things in
terms of navigating thoseenvironments, behind the scenes
in the rooms where you don'tknow where you don't have a seat
at that table, that door islocked and hidden, you know,
behind all kinds of things, howto mentors play a role in that
(20:49):
for
Kailei Carr (20:49):
you sure, I had several mentors, and not
necessarily a lot of mentors whowere outside of my organization
that I would call up and we hada formal relationship. It was
more so mentorship through mymanagers, I had some incredible
managers, I can think back tothree in particular, actually,
(21:11):
honestly, in all of my, I'mrealizing in this moment, at
each company I worked at, I hadmentors, I had mentors, most of
them were my managers, they gaveme mentorship, they were
invested in my careerdevelopment, and I had very
strong relationships with them.
There was one company I workedfor, in Dallas, my manager
(21:34):
wasn't my mentor, but there wasa senior black woman, the most
senior black person in thisorganization. She was their CFO.
And she I mean to this day,number one to this day, I still
consider her a mentor. But I canstill remember conversations
(21:55):
that we had back in 2007 2008,where she gave me not even
business advice and mentorship,it was more so when you decide
to have children hear all thesupplements you need, or, you
know, just sharing how sheparents her daughter. I mean, I
(22:19):
was dating my husband at thetime, I didn't even know we were
gonna get met if we were on thatroute. But seeing her as an
example of living a healthy wellrounded, well life, being a
mother, a wife, and executive,she took two years off to take
care of her daughter when shefirst and when her daughter was
(22:41):
zero to two. And just seeing heras an example, this powerful
black woman who was incredible,yeah, who had made a name for
herself and did not skip a beat.
Even with that break. Again, tothis day, it had such a profound
impact on me.
Jessica Hartley (22:57):
Wow. I love that and also just continuing to
shatter these perceptions in thestigma that women particular
women of color, and other blackwomen, for example, can be
supportive. And I was sharingwith someone else, there's pie
(23:17):
at the table for everybody. It'sa buffet, you can have what you
want. Yeah, and part of, of someof what you said that mandate of
having to help and support andgive voice to others is saying
in recognizing that we don'thave a scarcity mindset. There
is abundance here and everyonecan take part. I appreciate you
(23:40):
sharing that story about thatmentor and, and how she just
shared with you the whole humanof who she was. So let's talk
about the Asbury group. So yourmom passed away, which of course
is so traumatic, so young, andjust you are newly married, and
(24:01):
kids and just all these thingson the horizon and your career
sort of steadily moving up,probably not as fulfilling as
you wanted it to be. But there'ssort of forward momentum. And
you have this moment, thismilestone in time, and you made
the decision. I'm going to goand follow my heart and my
passions. Talk to me about yearone, because we know that most
(24:26):
businesses rise and fall withinthe first they don't make it
past their one year anniversary.
But you're celebrating overeight. So talk to me about the
triumphs and maybe some of thechallenges of just getting
started in those first couple ofyears.
Kailei Carr (24:42):
Yes, so year one oh my goodness. Who and I love
talking about this I lovetalking about these will
Jessica Hartley (24:50):
need to hear the real thing Kai
Kailei Carr (24:52):
label need to hear the real deal. And I have
learned because now I've seen itin so many other people. Yeah,
I'm here. happy to share thisbecause so when I left
corporate, even though I hadthis strong calling toward doing
something that was more alignedwith passion and purpose, it's a
transition. You know, I had beenin corporate for over 15 years.
(25:16):
So and people knew me, as Kylie,the digital marketer who, you
know, I was on the speakercircuit with my company talking
about digital media and socialmedia and getting the most out
of blah, blah, blah, blah. Andso as I was transitioning, and
also deciding what I wanted,this entrepreneurial venture to
(25:40):
even be, there was a transition.
So some pivotal moments were,you know, I was doing consulting
first. So I did some consultingwith my former boss who had also
left, soon after I did, her neworganization brought me on to do
some work for them that was morealigned with the work that I
used to do. My best friend gaveme an opportunity, which was a
(26:01):
speaking and get a paid speakingengagement, speaking at a
conference with and ended upbeing with Luvvie. Ajayi Jones.
And so at that time, I mean,lovey, yes. Look at that, look
at God, look at God, thatexperience showed me what I was
capable of. It gave me thatfeeling of, Oh, this feels like
(26:25):
home. This feels like home. So Ihad those moments of doing
things that were close to myother job, and then just
exploring. So I was trying tofigure it out. It wasn't clear
to me what I was supposed to bedoing other than doing something
that was based on what I wasskilled at. God said this next
season is about you leveragingyour strengths and experiences.
(26:47):
So I would ask questions to myhusband to my friends, like,
what am I good at? In yourperspective? You know, where,
where have I helped you? Ithought about, Okay, what if
people thanked me for? What dopeople come to me for? So all of
those things helped to shapewhere I was going? There was one
day I was in Chicago at SaksFifth Avenue, and I saw this
(27:08):
display of this bad suit. No, Ithink it was a suit jacket and a
dress. And it was amazing. And Ihad this thought, you know, what
would it be like? Or I wonder ifanybody does image consulting
for executive women? So I hadthat thought, Yeah, a couple of
days later, I had a conversationwith a partner at at a
(27:30):
consulting firm, a black woman.
In our conversation, she said,You know, I should put you in
contact with my imageconsultant. And I said, you have
an image consultant. She said,Yeah, she's amazing. Come to
find out her name was almostlike, we have the same letters
in our name. She has fewerletters, like, it was like, so
(27:51):
God was just like screaming,right? And I'm thinking just two
days ago, I said, I wonder ifexecutives have image
consultants in here? She does.
Yes, that opened up a whole newworld. That woman just blew my
mind. She wanted me to take atone point in time, we had a
conversation about me takingover her company, like it was
crazy. Yeah, it was crazy. Soopened up opportunities. And
(28:13):
then I also started giving stuffaway for free, like, I tested
stuff out, I would go to friendsand say, Hey, can I create a
brand plan for you? Can I createyour brand profile? So I would
do that for free? And then theywould give me feedback? And I
would say, Okay, would you payfor it though? Right. Why would
(28:34):
you pay for it? Like this wasfree? It was good. It was free?
Is it
Jessica Hartley (28:41):
valuable for you to pay for? Yes, yes.
Kailei Carr (28:45):
And then finally, I started talking about it. I
started talking about it onsocial media. I started talking
about personal branding, Istarted talking about elevating
your image. And the next thing Iknew people started coming to me
for speaking engagements. Afriend from high school who
hadn't seen in at least 10years, we only communicate
(29:06):
through Facebook, and she was apartner at a law firm. And she
said, Hey, I see you talk aboutpersonal branding. Can you come
in to talk to our femalepartners? Yeah, about personal
branding. And so all of thosethings now, but let me be clear
that first year, it was a lot ofexploration and not a whole lot
of income of revenue. You know,it was a lot of figuring things
(29:29):
out. It was a lot of testing andgetting my sea legs. And to be
clear, that mode lasted for atleast three to four years.
Jessica Hartley (29:42):
Wow, happy really kind of first half that
first half of the eighth year.
So certainly,
Kailei Carr (29:48):
it was a learning experience. And it took me that
period of time to even get backto what I was making incorporate
before I left.
Jessica Hartley (29:56):
Yes, yes. Yes.
I think that's so whortonBecause there's the obviously
the risk, and the foundationthat you need to be able to go
out on your own. And if you havesupport and other income and
things like that, but there'sthe process, you're starting a
new company, you're offeringproducts and services, it might
be completely unique, or therecould be five others out there.
(30:19):
But there's more than enough foreverybody. But you have to
figure out what that sort ofpath for you is going to be. And
yes, to your point, there is alot of upfront investment. And
it is not just financial, thereis the you know, mental and
emotional investment and thetime and talent investment in
just the investment in yourselfto grow and evolve and learn.
(30:42):
You leave corporate America, youhave a huge infrastructure,
somebody's taking care offinance, and HR and legal, those
are things we don't have toworry about. But as the top, the
SEO, it's all on you. So let'stalk then about that evolution.
So you had three or four yearsof growth, and development and
pivot and Image Consulting andpersonal branding. And you can
(31:06):
start to see the seeds turn intothis beautiful tree plan, you
know, of where you are today. Sotalk about the last four years,
and how that felt sure. Youknow, I've known you for three
years now since I was part ofthe I know since even before
that, because I had theopportunity to join the eMERGE
sessions before I became part ofthe ITSMF Leadership Academy.
(31:30):
And it's just been amazingwatching, watching you and
watching all of these thingsblossom. So let's talk about the
last four years and thatevolution.
Kailei Carr (31:42):
Sure. And it's interesting. So you know, I
started with the ImageConsulting and personal
branding. And what I realizedwas that I could give someone
the exterior evolution and theyou know, polishing and
elevation externally. As thatprogressed, I got into more
executive presence work, andthen started working with ITSMF,
(32:06):
with leading the eMERGE Academyand developing that program,
which was really at this pivotpoint where, you know, I could
help somebody look the part Icould give them even the
checklist of the leadershipcapabilities they needed. But if
they were not right withinthemselves, if they didn't have
a strong enough Foundation, ifthey were not centered, if they
(32:28):
were still healing, there wasonly so far I could take them.
So people would come to me andsay, Oh, well let you know, let
me elevate helped me elevate myimage. But if you are still in a
place of survival or trauma,then I can give you the
exterior, But honey, you you gota lot of work to do. And because
of my nature, we would starthaving those conversations. And
(32:51):
over time I developed this avery much more of a inside out
process. And I realized in orderwhat I really was called to do
and be was a resource for thewhole person, not just the
exterior, not only the interior,but really helping them to align
(33:12):
who they are with how they showup in the world. So I started
doing more leadershipdevelopment programs, more
workshops, more speaking in thatregard. And in the last, gosh,
two years alone, actually, justlast year alone, I worked with
clients on six continentsleadership over last year,
(33:38):
probably trained or had over1000 people in leadership
programs that I eitherfacilitated or CO facilitated.
It's amazing. I'm starting towork with a lot more doing more
executive coaching. And Irealized that I am being called
to do more than just this. And Ineed to build capacity. So just
(34:02):
this year, I've added five newcoaches and facilitators to my
team. That's Yes, yes. So thatas more clients come in, we can
share this message in thisapproach and philosophy of whole
person development. Yes to morepeople in more spaces. So that's
(34:24):
where we are now. So you are
Jessica Hartley (34:27):
literally day in and day out 24/7 pouring into
others, especially pouring intoother women. How do you refill
your cup? What is rejuvenationand you know, how do you take
care of self but obviously weuse this word self care and it's
almost overused andmisunderstood. But when Kylie
(34:52):
needs to take care of Kylie,what does that look like for
you?
Kailei Carr (34:57):
Well, I have a daily practice. And then there's
daily practice in ongoingpractice. And then there's the
Okay, we need to course correct,right. So, Daily Practice for
the past four years, I have amorning routine that I do before
I get out of bed. It's calledclaim I am turning it into a
(35:19):
book because I've shared it withso many people. Yes, they have
claimed it,
Jessica Hartley (35:24):
we I'm here, I'm here for it. I'm ready to
click orders.
Kailei Carr (35:32):
And it really helps to set the foundation for my day
is in the right frame of mindand includes centering and
includes elevating my energy,and setting the intentions for
the day. So that is my dailypractice. I also ongoingly just
tap into my spirit, and do mybest to understand what do I
(35:55):
need at any given moment. So doI need more rest? Do I need more
margin like right now I'mfeeling like, Ooh, I am over
extended. So in March and April,I'm adding in more more margin
more space in my days. And thenthere's the course correcting.
So of course, correcting for meis like, okay, doing regular
(36:18):
exercise, going to the beach,going to the beach, doing things
Jessica Hartley (36:24):
in my life guy like, I've been craving the
beach for two years now.
Kailei Carr (36:31):
Yes, so to this year, my goal is to go to the
beach four times, which is whenI'm at my best. I know what that
looks like quarterly beach time.
Yes, I love so I don't know if Ican make it work. But that is
the goal. Yes, yes. Yes. Sothose are the some of the things
that I do. This is fun, such
Jessica Hartley (36:53):
a delightful conversation, Kylie, it has been
so wonderful to hear about yourjourney, the star also just to
hear about your mom and how, youknow, our moms and aunties and
godmothers, and T Ts, and all ofthese amazing women that we have
in our lives, whether they arefully educated, you know,
(37:15):
formally and all these thingsand work, there's ways in the
corporate career, where theyreally were bootstrapped. And
just making sure they took careof their family. Just so
wonderful to hear how you'vetaken all of that goodness, and
I'm sure a lot of goodness fromour ancestors and elders as
well. And you are channelingthat into women every day. If
(37:38):
you could leave us with a pieceof advice. There probably
hopefully many folks listeningto this episode and listening to
your journey and career. Andwhat advice would you give to
those that are, you know, in themidst of a pivot, whether it's a
(37:59):
personal pivot, or a careerpivot, what's your advice on how
they approach that it can bevery overwhelming, almost, you
know, analysis paralysis of Idon't know what to do. So I'm
not going to do anything. What'syour advice to break through
that?
Kailei Carr (38:18):
My advice would be do not over think it. As high
achievers as smart people, youknow, driven individuals. It's
so easy to over, analyze overstrategize to your point, you
know, analysis, paralysis, andalso lean into the shoulds that,
(38:42):
oh, I should be doing this. Takethat out of it. You know, the
answers, go into a still place,center yourself, connect with
whatever higher being you callto, and receive the answers.
When you receive that nudge thatInkling inside of you that
(39:03):
calling. You will haveeverything you need to make that
work. When you say yes to thatdoors will open serendipity
takes place. You have all theresources that you need, that
will surround you when you sayyes, but when we overthink it
over analyze it. We haveincremental advancement. We can
(39:28):
you know, I know this is we havehustle and grind the name of the
podcast. We can hustle and grindinto it. Yes. But if we only do
the hustle if we only do thehustle and grind it will get us
incremental advancement. Yes.
And we may have to do a lot ofdetours. But when we tap into
(39:48):
ourselves, and our inner knowingand the Divinity inside of us
then we can havetransformational trance
formational cattle, thosepivotal moments, those trying to
find the right words, but thatexponential growth, exponential
growth can take place when welisten to ourselves and lean
(40:12):
into our heart and soul and notjust our heads and minds.
Jessica Hartley (40:18):
I love that we're going to end on that. I
mean, you took us to invariational revival. I'm over
here, Amen and hallelujah,highly calm co the Asbury group
and just so many more slashslash slash, so honored that you
joined me for this conversation.
Can't wait for the book, I amsending you all the writer vibes
(40:41):
and all the things thank youcan't wait. And we look forward
to having you back to talk moreabout the evolution of your
organization and all the thingsthat you're doing with beyond
the business and excited to talkabout the book when it's ready.
So thank you, Kylie.
Kailei Carr (40:59):
Thank you so much for having me, Jessica.
Jessica Hartley (41:04):
Thank you for listening to another episode of
hustle, grind, shine andreignite. If you liked this
episode, like, subscribe andshare on all your favorite
podcasts. I hope you'll tune into the next episode featuring
another amazing and talentedprofessional. In the meantime,
(41:25):
Chiang Rai
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