March 3, 2024 • 35 mins
As the curtains rose at the Earl Cameron Theater, the air was electric with the anticipation of reconnecting with my powerhouse panel of women entrepreneurs. It felt like only yesterday that Maxanne Anderson, Jasmine DeSilva, Tyka Edness , DeVika Bourne, and Chelsea Warren had taken their first steps into the spotlight on the Hustle Her stage. Since then, they've soared, taking their businesses to new heights and inspiring a wave of up-and-comers with their authentic tales and leadership savvy. We crack open the book of their journeys, leafing through chapters of vulnerability, triumph, and the undeniable impact that a personal narrative can have in steering others toward their own entrepreneurial stars.
Ever wondered how love can not just survive but thrive in the entrepreneur's rollercoaster world? I peel back the curtains on a 16-year marriage odyssey, sharing nuggets of wisdom on cultivating a partnership that stands resilient amidst the whirlwind of business-building. Our conversation weaves through the intimate dance of balancing personal relationships with professional goals, revealing how mutual understanding and a little dedicated time can strengthen bonds. The heart of this chapter lies in the joy and complexity of intertwining lives and ambitions, underscoring the art of sustaining passion and commitment both at home and in the marketplace.
Bringing it home, we toast to the power of enduring friendships and the kindred spirits that accompany us along our paths. I share tales from my own circle, a bond that has outlasted the test of time, distance, and the ebb and flow of adulthood. With my co-host chiming in on the essence of loyalty and the family we choose, we reflect on the influential figures who've shaped our trajectories and the importance of lifting as we climb. The episode wraps with a collective call to action: to embolden one another, celebrate the milestones, and cultivate a legacy of empowerment that echoes through generations of hustlers to come. Join us as we honor the relationships that fuel our fires and the shared victories that light up our world.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
It's time for hustle her podcast.
I'm your host, deshae Keynes.
Hustle her is all aboutinspiring women through real
life experiences that havehelped to mold and develop not
only me but my guests into theentrepreneurs and leaders we are
today.
If you're an enterprising womandetermined to succeed and
(00:22):
looking for a bit of motivation,a bit of tough love and some
actionable takeaways to be thebest you girl, you are in the
right place.
Hey guys, and welcome back tohustle her podcast, as always.
(00:44):
Thank you guys so much forspending some time with me today
.
Today is an amazing day, andit's an amazing day because this
is our 50th live recording andI'm sitting here, as you can
tell, not in my living room, butwe are in the Earl Cameron
theater in city hall, and I'm soexcited for you guys to be
joining me today.
As always, big shout out to ourseason sponsors.
Welcome to the jungle by TinaHojcevic.
(01:05):
Thank you so much forsponsoring this season of hustle
her podcast.
As always, guys, make sure youhead over to the website
hustleherpodcastcom for you tobe able to sign up to be a VIP
guest.
You also get access to all theshow notes and if you sign up to
be a VIP guest, you can alsoget some of our episodes a
little bit before everyone else.
Also, make sure you head overto YouTube and if you're
(01:27):
watching right now on YouTube,hit the subscribe button, but
also make sure you like thisepisode and tell us what you
think.
So, without further ado, our50th episode is going to be a
live reunion episode with someof my previous guests, so,
without further ado.
We have Maxanne Anderson.
(01:47):
All right, okay.
Next we have Jasmine De Silva.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
All right.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Next we have Tika Adniss All right.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Next we have.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Tavika Boar.
And then, last but certainlynot least, the amazing Chelsea
Warren.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
All right.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Welcome ladies.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Thank you so much for joining us here today.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
It is a little warm.
I'm so sorry Studio lights werenot playing around, so just
remind everyone of your titlesand what you currently do.
We'll start right here with you.
You're a rush of fool.
Speaker 6 (03:27):
I am a commercial director at Artex Capital.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Solutions Amazing.
Also, I don't know if you guysnoticed, but Jasmine has had a
promotion since she was on ourpodcast Tika A professional
dreamer.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
It's a great idea of 8 and 8.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
I am the senior vice president of non-live operations
.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Also another promotion since being on our
podcast.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Alright and Chels.
I'm the founder of Optimon Body, the modern athleisure brand,
as well as a brand manager and acreative director.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
So Jasmine was our first video podcast that we did
and, just to let you know, Itold Jess she was going to be on
the podcast and she just showedup, rocked up and was like sure
, let's go, let's do it.
Speaker 6 (04:20):
Since the podcast, jasmine, tell me what some of
the feedback that you've gottenit's not much different from
what normally when people hearme talk or people appreciate my
vulnerability, authenticity, andit was good to hear that people
connected with a lot of thestory, especially because I did
just rock out.
But it's a vulnerable place, soit's great to hear that not
(04:46):
only from that place speaking toothers, but to see how it's
evolved and how it grew and whyit went viral.
I was so confused but I wasglad to see everyone else's did
as well.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Chels, what about you ?
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I feel like the same.
I feel like the transparencythat I showcased on the podcast.
And then we talked aboutstorefront and then, a few years
later, I'm having my storefrontin Washington Mon.
So overall I feel like it wasawesome to see.
And then I'm also young andmoving back to Bermuda, and so
(05:25):
it was good for the other peopleto see a young entrepreneur
still pursuing their dreamsdespite of adversity.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
And so I'm just going to say on Max, because it's
just difficult to say anything.
So our Max was our number oneviewed episode ever on the
podcast.
So what's been the feedback foryou, superstar?
Speaker 3 (05:49):
It's actually very positive.
I love that people associate ustogether.
So they say, oh, that's yourniece, that's just the podcast,
right?
I said yes, and they just loveyour podcast, shay.
They say it's something theywish they had years ago, but
(06:09):
they appreciate it.
They love seeing the differentwomen and that you're doing a
phenomenal job, so keep it up.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
And DeVika.
For those of you who don't know, devika's episode had the most
engagement within the first 24hours of any episode we've ever
done, especially on Instagram.
So big shout out to you, DeVika.
You penetrate it well.
So what has it been like foryou post being on the podcast.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
So you know what's the most interesting when I go
places and people are staring atme for a little while and I'm
like, do I know them?
And then they say, oh, I sawyour podcast, it was so good.
No, but I think just having thefeedback on being authentic and
just really being relatable ina leadership capacity was
refreshing because, as you know,when I left there, I was like
did I say anything?
(06:57):
That's going to resonate.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Yes, OK.
And then Tika, we had a verydifferent style of episode
because we wanted to showcasesome of your amazing finds at 8
and 8.
So tell us how the post podcasthas been for you.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I think it's just been a stroke on the canvas,
honestly Like the same.
Like I saw your episode, I'mlike like you spent 20, 30, 40
minutes looking at me like what,yeah, I had a, like the
gratitude was on a million, butagain, I told you then and I'll
tell you again amongst greatness, that's what happens, that's a
product of that.
So for me it's just been really, really heartwarming.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Great, amazing, yeah.
So, guys, what we're going todo today for those of you also
in the audience we're going togo through some of the most
common topics that have come outon the podcast, and so we're
going to dive right in, as Iusually say.
So, all of you have theseamazing journeys through your
careers, right?
Everyone's career has beendifferent, but some of the
commonalities that kind of cameout from all of your episodes
(07:52):
was your approach to your familylife and relationships and that
tricky word balance right.
So how has your journey in yourcareer all of the careers and
we'll start with you, auntie howhas that been?
How has that your careeraffected your personal
relationships or your approachto your relationships?
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Personal relationships.
Well, being a mom, starting outas a young lawyer, that was a
bit difficult because you alwaysthink am I giving my child
enough?
And being a wife, am I givingmy husband enough?
And family too, am I giving myfriends and my family enough?
Because the long hours, lawyers, billable hours, right, and the
(08:38):
firms just wonder billablehours, billable hours.
So that was very difficult atthe beginning.
But as you grow, I think,mature and get more confident in
yourself, your priorities startto change and you realize that
you know what I have to put myfamily first, regardless.
(08:59):
You know what the job mightthink or what a client might
think.
And so now, looking back, Maxiand I have conversations all the
time.
Our family were very supportive.
So Rain and I used to have todo work trips all the time and
Maxi would go with her go-up palor she would go with her aunt
or uncle, and people were verysupportive, right.
(09:22):
So it takes a village.
So my village helped me in myprofession, definitely.
Speaker 6 (09:29):
Definitely, jeff.
I would echo a lot of what Maxiand I said.
I think what was an unexpectedchallenge in being a mom and a
career and having the mentalload and the ability to try to
juggle the mental load ofseveral things.
So you're not just having themental load of being a mom,
(09:52):
you're having the mental load ofyour career, the mental load of
trying to remember that you'rea wife.
That also needs intention, andso, while I did expect the
logistical shuffle that it takes, it was the draining of the
mental load that I didn'trealize was going to affect me
in the way that it did.
But in the same way, I'm at apoint and at a level.
(10:16):
My daughter is a non-negotiable.
I mean we talked about it onthe podcast.
I quit a job and not renewed acontract before I even started
it, because the way that theywere laying out the terms of
engagement, it looked like theway that I would be able to see
(10:36):
my daughter and the things.
I literally talked about sportsday.
I said so am I able to go tosports day?
And they're like no, oh well,that was the breaking point for
me.
I mean, if I can't, I got toshow up for her and that's
important to her, and so I amthe type I will work all night,
but what's a priority to her isa priority for me, and what
(10:59):
she's going to know is I'm goingto show up.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I love that.
I love that.
I think for me with my journey,it's more fun and blessing in
people who are family and thepeople who are not blood related
that become your family, ieyour friends, who meet you at
every layer.
You pull back To me.
That's the blessing because,okay, you were this and now
you're this.
(11:27):
And for them to be like, yep,and you can be that, I can still
love you and I can stillsupport you.
That is what gives me thechills.
It's like to allow me to be whoI'm meant to be and to love me
at every stage is, I think,relationship, because you know,
in entrepreneurship you go undera rock a little bit.
Yeah, it's not even just aboutlike the coins and the dollars,
like who you're becoming to be,to have the thing that you want,
(11:49):
so that I can't do dinner datesometimes.
Sometimes you're like, okay, Ilost a friend and they're like
in the audience, like, so it'slike okay.
Yeah, relationships change, butit's the way that people love
you when they change.
I think it's the beautiful partof my journey, yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
I have to go back to the village because, honestly,
nothing that I've accomplishedtoday would be possible with all
my village, I mean from myhusband, my mom, my grandmother
I mean my 80 year oldgrandmother right, so kind of
filling in for when I needsupport with the children.
I would not be able to do thiswithout that support and I think
I reflect on that so oftenbecause it's I mean, it's just
(12:30):
something that you kind of neverreally think about when you're
kind of going into thesesituations and when my mom just
says look, just call whateveryou need, I'm there, right.
My husband, you know he justpulls in.
My sister, you know the thereright to offer the support when
I can't do it, and the guilt isreal right.
That is a very real emotion,but it's so warming to know that
(12:52):
at any time I have that supportand I think that's the biggest
kind of, that's the mostimpactful thing for me at this
stage in my life.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Okay, rachel.
So for me, I think in this partof my life I've had to pull the
reins back because being anentrepreneur is just like a 24
hour thing job, 24 hour job.
When it comes to my family, weare all busy.
So I know my mom and Isometimes we chuckle because
it's three o'clock in themorning.
She's up, I'm up and we're justworking together.
But overall, like right now,where I'm at, life is very
(13:21):
precious and although we've beenthere for each other, never
want we're not here for a longtime A lot of things are very
temporary.
So now what I try to do isdefinitely a lot certain time
for family time.
Or tell my mama like we're notgoing to do any work, like I was
going to put a desk in my roomand I'm like mom, no, we're not
(13:42):
going to do that.
But from young you know like ittakes a village and that's the
biggest thing for me.
When it comes to my friends, myfamily, like they have been
with me through the entirejourney and no matter what I'm
doing, they're going to be there.
Whether it's lifting the bags,whether it's them supporting
video, taping what I'm doing,whatever it is, they've been
there.
So that's just been my journeyand I'm learning to prioritize,
because sometimes when we talkabout balance, it's just like
(14:05):
sometimes I'm like there's notenough hours in a day.
But you know, for me I just tryto prioritize the things that
matter and, like I said, life isprecious.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
So totally understand .
So I guess, just quick, I guesswe have two lovely ladies on
the stage who are celebrating 15years of marriage this year
Jasmine and Nemeek.
So for either of you andwhoever wants to go first, like
I know, both of you haveincredible jobs right, and you
(14:35):
know I say this on the podcastall the time these big jobs,
these big roles and globalcompanies how do you sustain
marriage for 15 and 16 yearswith these amazing jobs and
responsibilities that you have?
How does that even work?
Speaker 5 (14:55):
So Jasmine and I talk about this a lot right, because
we really do kind of sit thereand say our husbands are just
rock solid, right For what theyhave to endure what we.
Speaker 6 (15:06):
that is not that fair .
Speaker 5 (15:08):
No, I think my secret sauce is that Mark and I really
communicate so openly with eachother and we have like there's
no who's bar, right.
So whatever's bothering you, wetalk about it.
If it's too much, if it's tooheavy, we say and we really just
support each other right.
There's nothing better thanhaving a partner who supports
(15:30):
you fully and thoroughly inevery single way.
And again, I talk about thevillage, but of course Mark
plays is a centerpiece in thatvillage and, yeah, I don't think
we would be where we are if wedidn't have a very solid
communication style.
We prioritize each other.
I talked about that on mypodcast as well.
(15:50):
I mean your podcast.
But my episode.
But no, we prioritize each otherand we really just take time
for one another and love eachother.
I mean I really I can't expresshow deep that is right.
(16:13):
I mean there are just unspokenthings about our connection that
go without saying and we kindof make it work.
So 16 years is great.
I'm really proud of us.
Speaker 6 (16:30):
So you know, I'm very transparent and authentic when
I like to say I'm a child brideand I should stop saying it
because it sounds soinappropriate Absolutely, but I
got engaged at 22, and I wasmarried at 24.
And so when you ask aboutsustaining a marriage, when
(16:52):
Chuck and I got married, we hadno idea what we were doing.
We had zero idea what we weregetting ourselves into.
And just because you getmarried doesn't mean you know
how to be or you are a wife, oryou are a husband.
So what we had to realize isthat the foundation with which
we got married, which was I loveyou so much, you don't this
(17:22):
flimsy emotion that you don'tfeel constantly.
You like you lose in anhoneymoon, like it's gone Right.
It's flimsy and nobody preparesyou for the fact that a
sustaining, long-termrelationship has to be built on
(17:43):
something far more solid.
And so what we've had to do andI would the credit I have, and
I thank God for this we havesome core characteristics that I
believe sustained us and helpedus.
I don't shy away from work, Ihave a great work ethic and I am
(18:03):
committed and I am disciplined.
I don't find it hard, like Itell people at the time.
If you can't get up and be goodto the GM, why are you getting
married?
Because if you struggle withdiscipline and commitment,
that's literally what it takes.
And in the case of my husband,chocolate is the epitome of
(18:29):
grace and mercy and kindnesspersonify.
He is very, he finds it easy tobe selfless, which is good,
because those, those are.
Bible says you know, women,submit to your husband.
It says that you know husbandshould love their wives the way
(18:51):
the Christ loved the church andhe died for the church.
So chocolate has to die to medaily and I hate that for him,
but, but.
But in reality, because we hadthose gifts and characteristics
and they were real and they cameto us naturally to come in
(19:12):
together as a union, we realizedthat, okay, you have this
strength, I have this strength,I have to learn to talk and be.
You know what I mean.
He has to learn that we ain'tgiven up right.
And I think now and it hastaken us years Now we realize
that the commitment is to theunion, the commitment is to us,
(19:36):
last us together first,individually second, and that
self sacrifice can be sobeautiful if you have two
willing partners willing to putthe other.
And so when you see me, look athim, believe Google Gaga eyes.
(19:59):
It's not because I love him,it's because I'm so grateful,
I'm so grateful.
Yeah, like you've seen theugliest part of me.
I've heard you worse than any.
Your spouse were to you morethan anybody else will, and so
I'm so grateful that just do her.
I'm so, I'm so and so thatthat's, that's the sustaining.
(20:25):
I think I'm ready for the next15, 20, 50.
But I didn't.
But I got married, wasn't there, but here and now, this is this
good.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Not to put me and Chelsea's business out there,
but as the two non marriedpeople, I forgot.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
I forgot I was on the podcast.
I was listening, like, like Iforgot I was on the stage.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
So, as an entrepreneur and I'm sorry, dad,
mom, maybe one day we'll see mygrandma is probably the most
upset.
It's okay, chelsea is a buddingentrepreneur, that is.
You know.
Like you said, being anentrepreneur is a 24 hour job.
Like, how do you do that?
And balance possibly dating, ifyou are the type of thing Like
how does that work?
(21:16):
Like, how do you get someonewho understands that?
Speaker 4 (21:19):
I'm recorded right Because I so I was in a
relationship while I am.
It's hard right now, it'scomplicated right now it's
complicated, but so I actuallyI've been in a relationship for
seven years while I was.
Whatever, I am sorry if you'rewatching this, if you're
watching this, you know whatwe're going to.
(21:39):
You understand what we're goingto do right now.
So for me it's just, it hasbeen challenging because, well,
I'm going to talk as if you'remy man.
Okay, so dating someone likefor me, I appreciate the person
who I was dating because he wasalso an entrepreneur as well.
So we understood the hustle, weunderstood the grind and I feel
(22:03):
like for me it is challengingbecause sometimes you do have to
say, like on Tuesdays, fernsdown, we have to do a date night
, and I think that's kind ofprobably where we went wrong in
our relationship.
I'm not putting our businessout there, I'm just saying, but
that's probably what we wentwrong in regards to.
Sometimes you do have toprioritize relationship, but
it's hard, like when you'reyoung and you're trying to get
(22:25):
it and you're like focused onthe end goal.
Because one thing about guysI'm not an expert like Jasmine,
but I'm just I just feel likefor men when they have a goal or
something they're trying toachieve.
No one is getting in the way ofthat, and I feel like as women,
we kind of have to have thatsame drive.
So that's just where I am rightnow.
That's where I am right nowwith all of my circumstances.
(22:49):
I feel like sometimes I putthat first, when I should put
you know God first and then youknow my commitment to my girls
and make sure that when I'mcoming and I'm going to be
engaged or have been in amarriage, that I actually am
bringing something solid to thetable that I can stand on my own
.
So for me, that's where I amright now dating.
I'm not even right now dating,I'm just focusing on me right
(23:10):
now and building me again.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
So we speak about breaking this glass ceiling,
right, and we feel like and Ithink a lot of us have talked
about this before and you know,constantly, as women, we've kind
of always come intoenvironments where, first in
this and we're, you know,breaking glass ceilings for the
people, the next generationthat's coming about.
How do we stop from having thenext generation of women and
until I start with you, fromhaving to break that glass
(23:40):
ceiling again so we're nothearing the first female senior
this or that or the other?
What do you think some thingswe can do to stop that from
happening?
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Oh my goodness, if it only depended on us, then you
know there would be no moreglass ceilings for us.
But it's not just us, right,there are others involved, and
(24:12):
so it's difficult, you know, youthink you're in 2020, whatever,
and certain things won't apply.
It does apply.
We've only come thus far.
Right, we still have a long wayto go, but if we work together,
we can do a lot more.
I think, if we support eachother, and it starts by just you
(24:35):
know little small things buyingmy girl's tracksuit, you know,
you know just little smallthings.
Supporting each other.
Mentor, young people, our youngpeople, make sure that when
they come along, there arethings that they know that
they're seeing, so that whenthey get in certain situations
(24:56):
and offices or in a hardsituation, they know how to
react.
Yeah, tika, what about you?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
I come back to just momentum.
I'm going to piggyback on whatthis beautiful lady has talked
about in just making themomentum a normalcy.
So the momentum you talkedabout in tracksuit or this type
of environment, this form, youknow, I go back to, even like
the Roger Bannister, that wholetheory.
No one could run a four minutemile until he did, and then what
(25:31):
happened is everyone did itafter that.
So it's almost this commitmentto the thing that we think we
can't do that, if we can releasethat and relinquish that and
make that a normalcy, that Wellthe ceiling is not even a
ceiling, it's only a ceilingbecause your perspective is at
the ceiling that we cannormalize being a beast
(25:51):
normalize Not, you know, not big, how long to be a you know the
first magistrate Sorry, how doyou say it?
The worship though, because Icouldn't even get it, couldn't
even get it right.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Right, right, that waship full.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
The worship.
I'm gonna go with you and weare, and we are right, um, but
that that in ten years time,five years, that that's a
normalcy.
It's not something that we'relike, you know, even I just say
as a problem medium woman, youknow, when we make it on the big
stage, it's like, oh my god,this happened, like why can't we
have a team that makes it big?
(26:28):
It's like did the god say blast, blast, blast, bermuda?
No, not you like.
No, it's what we commit to,right.
So it's like knowing that it'spossible, seeing it before it
happens, the visualvisualization piece, and again
just going back to making it anormalcy, that is possible for
us, yeah anybody else want tocomment on the break in the
(26:49):
glass ceiling before we jump onI?
Speaker 4 (26:52):
Just think similarly, like, like they said, I'm
sending the ladder back downbecause I'm coming from a
perspective of you.
Ladies are not ill, but I'mreally young, the young.
I Actually had women whoactually poured into me.
(27:16):
So when people see this resultand I'm still striving to be
better and who I am but I've hadwomen who since day one my mom,
women in school pour into me.
Even when I was in America, howI kind of got into my brand, I
had a Lady who became like a momto me out there.
She had a boutique.
(27:37):
She just took me under her ringand poured into me.
She sent the ladder down for meand Literally she taught me
everything and it was no charge.
She didn't charge me, was justshe wanted to see me ran.
And so for me, when I come backhome, or the women that I'm
around, I want to see them beingtoo.
So it's just like a trickleDonna, fast.
So like living in Bermuda, I'mthe women that I'm around.
(28:01):
That's what we do.
You know, if I see opportunityfor you, I'm calling you on,
speaking your name in rooms,different things like that, and
so that just for me, is justsending the letter back down and
pouring into each other andit's literally, it's a.
It's a.
It's different, especiallybeing an entrepreneur, because
it's kind of endless.
I don't really have anyonetelling me what to do.
So if you have a clothingboutique or something like that,
(28:22):
then I can.
If you have a clothing boutique, then you know I'm also a free
game to give you if nobody overmy shoulder telling me I can,
cannot.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
This thing about having women in your life, right
, and one of the main reasonswhy I wanted to create the
podcast, because I'm surroundedby amazing women, right, and I
think not a lot of other peopleknow about all the amazing women
that are in each other's livesand all the things that we kind
of do, but as we get older, wekind of struggle some time to
maintain some of thoserelationships.
So, a jazz will come to you.
(28:55):
How do you cultivate yourfriendships as an adult?
And what would you send toPronga?
So I apologize, but how wouldyou say?
What would you say is why yourcircle is so important to you?
Speaker 6 (29:06):
Okay, I Will do a disclaimer.
I have a gift of cultivation ofrelationships.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
I believe that yes.
Speaker 6 (29:15):
So it comes very easy to me.
It is literally my job and so,and, but I think that was that
was first built at throughfriendships.
I've always been a girl's girl.
I love women, I Love, I loveseeing women succeed, I love
seeing them happy, I love, Ilove women in a point that
(29:38):
sometimes could be a littleshade, but I had to.
But I'm very intentional aboutmy friendships and especially
Getting married young.
I didn't, I wasn't narrowlyfocused to the point where I
(29:59):
left my friends behind, but theywere all doing things I wasn't
doing.
I was now trying to figure outhow to cook and then decided I
wasn't going to, or I was, youknow, getting, I was having a
baby and they were traveling theworld.
But it's just, it'sintentionality.
The way you approach afriendship should be the same
way you approach yourpartnership should be the same
way you approach a child, right?
(30:20):
So it's it's all about.
I have a standing lunch withyou.
This is on the calendar andwe're going to try not to miss
this, right?
Even if I pick up my phone andI will do this during the day, I
will spend 15 minutes and Iwill message hi, love, you mean
it?
Bye, hi.
I was just thinking about you.
Okay, bye, I would do it too.
(30:42):
And then I the phone goes down,you're on the problem, the
answer me, but I just needed youto know I was thinking about
you and so I'm very intentionalabout that.
I want my friends to know thatI love them, that they mean a
lot to me and, specifically,having friends in your life that
(31:02):
are where you are in the, inthe, in the phase that you are
in your life, I think we don'ttalk about breaking up with
friends enough and we don't talkabout the evolution of
friendships, and there werefriends that cannot be with you
in the phase of life that youare currently living, and nobody
(31:22):
says it's okay to let them go.
I hate the song no new friends.
I love new friends.
I will.
You want to be my friendBecause, as a married woman, I
needed married friends and as acareer woman, I need you.
Shay, check me, just you know.
(31:44):
So that is how I do it and thatis why they're so important to
me, because, just as my marriageis important to my and has has
made me successful, those peopleare the reason I'm still
married my married friends andand my mommy friends and my
career friends, and so Icultivate things and friendships
(32:06):
that are for the phase that I'min my life, and I don't mind
letting go of a friendship If itdoesn't serve me in that moment
it's sad, but I'm going to makea new one.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
So who do you lean on in your friendship circle?
So I know on the podcast Iactually who I actually could,
who are closest friends, waslike my husband, so I'll sign,
you know that one.
Now, who do you?
Speaker 5 (32:30):
lean on.
So I make my friends tiredbecause I'm always busy, I
always have something going onand I mean they physically say
this guy, you made me tired.
It's always something in one.
But they've been with me since12.
Right, and so I don't have awide circle of friends I can say
you know, I have a very smallgroup of friends that know that
(32:53):
I will prioritize them at thedrop of a dime if I need to be
there for them.
Right, and likewise right, we'reall very busy, unlike you.
You know, my friends and I areall in kind of very different
spaces.
You know, some have olderchildren, few have younger
children in the same age as me.
But we all come together on thebasis of our friendship, right,
we love each other and so weshow up for each other, we
(33:16):
support one another and I thinkthat that helps me.
I can't do the known I am thenew France person because that
doors require a lot of work inthe very beginning and I can't
spread myself any more thin thanwhat I already am, right.
So I'm very thankful for the,for the network that I have
right now with the group offriends that I do have.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Absolutely.
And then auntie, obviouslyyou've been in my life for a
long time.
All of our Maxine's friends aremy aunties too.
So how about you?
Who do you lean on when itcomes to your friends?
Speaker 3 (33:47):
I'm kind of a new new friend.
Mind you, I don't have aproblem making new friends
because I love people.
But loyalty means a lot to me,right?
And I think sometimes we haveto protect ourselves from others
who do not have our bestinterests at heart.
And that is very important,especially depending on,
(34:11):
sometimes, your position, yourjob right.
So my friends may not hear fromme every day.
They know I was going to saysomething next year and say they
know.
I love them dearly and the samegoes for the kids.
Even if I'm not their goappearance right, most of my
(34:34):
friends I'm go appearance fortheir kids and even the ones
that I'm not, they're still mygo children.
You know they might not tell mestand up in church, but I'm the
go mom right.
And if anything happens tothose friends I'm going to fight
whoever to get those kidsBecause you know that's my
friend.
(34:54):
I'm going to make sure thatthey are taken care of.
The parents are taken care of,the kids are taken care of.
Friendship is a very seriousthing?
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Yeah, absolutely so, guys, we just have to take a
quick break.
Dj LA is just going to play usa quick song and then we're
going to come right back.
Give us two minutes.
Okay, everybody set the timerfor three, three, two.
It's time for hustle her podcast.
I'm your host, deshae Keynes.
Hustle her is all aboutinspiring women through real
life experiences that havehelped to mold and develop not
only me but my guests into theentrepreneurs and leaders we are
today.
If you're an enterprising womandetermined to succeed and
(00:22):
looking for a bit of motivation,a bit of tough love and some
actionable takeaways to be thebest you girl, you are in the
right place.
Hey guys, and welcome back tohustle her podcast, as always.
(00:44):
Thank you guys so much forspending some time with me today
.
Today is an amazing day, andit's an amazing day because this
is our 50th live recording andI'm sitting here, as you can
tell, not in my living room, butwe are in the Earl Cameron
theater in city hall, and I'm soexcited for you guys to be
joining me today.
As always, big shout out to ourseason sponsors.
Welcome to the jungle by TinaHojcevic.
(01:05):
Thank you so much forsponsoring this season of hustle
her podcast.
As always, guys, make sure youhead over to the website
hustleherpodcastcom for you tobe able to sign up to be a VIP
guest.
You also get access to all theshow notes and if you sign up to
be a VIP guest, you can alsoget some of our episodes a
little bit before everyone else.
Also, make sure you head overto YouTube and if you're
(01:27):
watching right now on YouTube,hit the subscribe button, but
also make sure you like thisepisode and tell us what you
think.
So, without further ado, our50th episode is going to be a
live reunion episode with someof my previous guests, so,
without further ado.
We have Maxanne Anderson.
(01:47):
All right, okay.
Next we have Jasmine De Silva.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
All right.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Next we have Tika Adniss All right.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Next we have.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Tavika Boar.
And then, last but certainlynot least, the amazing Chelsea
Warren.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
All right.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Welcome ladies.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Thank you so much for joining us here today.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
It is a little warm.
I'm so sorry Studio lights werenot playing around, so just
remind everyone of your titlesand what you currently do.
We'll start right here with you.
You're a rush of fool.
Speaker 6 (03:27):
I am a commercial director at Artex Capital.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Solutions Amazing.
Also, I don't know if you guysnoticed, but Jasmine has had a
promotion since she was on ourpodcast Tika A professional
dreamer.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
It's a great idea of 8 and 8.
Speaker 5 (03:46):
I am the senior vice president of non-live operations
.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Also another promotion since being on our
podcast.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
Alright and Chels.
I'm the founder of Optimon Body, the modern athleisure brand,
as well as a brand manager and acreative director.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
So Jasmine was our first video podcast that we did
and, just to let you know, Itold Jess she was going to be on
the podcast and she just showedup, rocked up and was like sure
, let's go, let's do it.
Speaker 6 (04:20):
Since the podcast, jasmine, tell me what some of
the feedback that you've gottenit's not much different from
what normally when people hearme talk or people appreciate my
vulnerability, authenticity, andit was good to hear that people
connected with a lot of thestory, especially because I did
just rock out.
But it's a vulnerable place, soit's great to hear that not
(04:46):
only from that place speaking toothers, but to see how it's
evolved and how it grew and whyit went viral.
I was so confused but I wasglad to see everyone else's did
as well.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Chels, what about you ?
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I feel like the same.
I feel like the transparencythat I showcased on the podcast.
And then we talked aboutstorefront and then, a few years
later, I'm having my storefrontin Washington Mon.
So overall I feel like it wasawesome to see.
And then I'm also young andmoving back to Bermuda, and so
(05:25):
it was good for the other peopleto see a young entrepreneur
still pursuing their dreamsdespite of adversity.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
And so I'm just going to say on Max, because it's
just difficult to say anything.
So our Max was our number oneviewed episode ever on the
podcast.
So what's been the feedback foryou, superstar?
Speaker 3 (05:49):
It's actually very positive.
I love that people associate ustogether.
So they say, oh, that's yourniece, that's just the podcast,
right?
I said yes, and they just loveyour podcast, shay.
They say it's something theywish they had years ago, but
(06:09):
they appreciate it.
They love seeing the differentwomen and that you're doing a
phenomenal job, so keep it up.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
And DeVika.
For those of you who don't know, devika's episode had the most
engagement within the first 24hours of any episode we've ever
done, especially on Instagram.
So big shout out to you, DeVika.
You penetrate it well.
So what has it been like foryou post being on the podcast.
Speaker 5 (06:36):
So you know what's the most interesting when I go
places and people are staring atme for a little while and I'm
like, do I know them?
And then they say, oh, I sawyour podcast, it was so good.
No, but I think just having thefeedback on being authentic and
just really being relatable ina leadership capacity was
refreshing because, as you know,when I left there, I was like
did I say anything?
(06:57):
That's going to resonate.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
Yes, OK.
And then Tika, we had a verydifferent style of episode
because we wanted to showcasesome of your amazing finds at 8
and 8.
So tell us how the post podcasthas been for you.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I think it's just been a stroke on the canvas,
honestly Like the same.
Like I saw your episode, I'mlike like you spent 20, 30, 40
minutes looking at me like what,yeah, I had a, like the
gratitude was on a million, butagain, I told you then and I'll
tell you again amongst greatness, that's what happens, that's a
product of that.
So for me it's just been really, really heartwarming.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Great, amazing, yeah.
So, guys, what we're going todo today for those of you also
in the audience we're going togo through some of the most
common topics that have come outon the podcast, and so we're
going to dive right in, as Iusually say.
So, all of you have theseamazing journeys through your
careers, right?
Everyone's career has beendifferent, but some of the
commonalities that kind of cameout from all of your episodes
(07:52):
was your approach to your familylife and relationships and that
tricky word balance right.
So how has your journey in yourcareer all of the careers and
we'll start with you, auntie howhas that been?
How has that your careeraffected your personal
relationships or your approachto your relationships?
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Personal relationships.
Well, being a mom, starting outas a young lawyer, that was a
bit difficult because you alwaysthink am I giving my child
enough?
And being a wife, am I givingmy husband enough?
And family too, am I giving myfriends and my family enough?
Because the long hours, lawyers, billable hours, right, and the
(08:38):
firms just wonder billablehours, billable hours.
So that was very difficult atthe beginning.
But as you grow, I think,mature and get more confident in
yourself, your priorities startto change and you realize that
you know what I have to put myfamily first, regardless.
(08:59):
You know what the job mightthink or what a client might
think.
And so now, looking back, Maxiand I have conversations all the
time.
Our family were very supportive.
So Rain and I used to have todo work trips all the time and
Maxi would go with her go-up palor she would go with her aunt
or uncle, and people were verysupportive, right.
(09:22):
So it takes a village.
So my village helped me in myprofession, definitely.
Speaker 6 (09:29):
Definitely, jeff.
I would echo a lot of what Maxiand I said.
I think what was an unexpectedchallenge in being a mom and a
career and having the mentalload and the ability to try to
juggle the mental load ofseveral things.
So you're not just having themental load of being a mom,
(09:52):
you're having the mental load ofyour career, the mental load of
trying to remember that you'rea wife.
That also needs intention, andso, while I did expect the
logistical shuffle that it takes, it was the draining of the
mental load that I didn'trealize was going to affect me
in the way that it did.
But in the same way, I'm at apoint and at a level.
(10:16):
My daughter is a non-negotiable.
I mean we talked about it onthe podcast.
I quit a job and not renewed acontract before I even started
it, because the way that theywere laying out the terms of
engagement, it looked like theway that I would be able to see
(10:36):
my daughter and the things.
I literally talked about sportsday.
I said so am I able to go tosports day?
And they're like no, oh well,that was the breaking point for
me.
I mean, if I can't, I got toshow up for her and that's
important to her, and so I amthe type I will work all night,
but what's a priority to her isa priority for me, and what
(10:59):
she's going to know is I'm goingto show up.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I love that.
I love that.
I think for me with my journey,it's more fun and blessing in
people who are family and thepeople who are not blood related
that become your family, ieyour friends, who meet you at
every layer.
You pull back To me.
That's the blessing because,okay, you were this and now
you're this.
(11:27):
And for them to be like, yep,and you can be that, I can still
love you and I can stillsupport you.
That is what gives me thechills.
It's like to allow me to be whoI'm meant to be and to love me
at every stage is, I think,relationship, because you know,
in entrepreneurship you go undera rock a little bit.
Yeah, it's not even just aboutlike the coins and the dollars,
like who you're becoming to be,to have the thing that you want,
(11:49):
so that I can't do dinner datesometimes.
Sometimes you're like, okay, Ilost a friend and they're like
in the audience, like, so it'slike okay.
Yeah, relationships change, butit's the way that people love
you when they change.
I think it's the beautiful partof my journey, yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:06):
I have to go back to the village because, honestly,
nothing that I've accomplishedtoday would be possible with all
my village, I mean from myhusband, my mom, my grandmother
I mean my 80 year oldgrandmother right, so kind of
filling in for when I needsupport with the children.
I would not be able to do thiswithout that support and I think
I reflect on that so oftenbecause it's I mean, it's just
(12:30):
something that you kind of neverreally think about when you're
kind of going into thesesituations and when my mom just
says look, just call whateveryou need, I'm there, right.
My husband, you know he justpulls in.
My sister, you know the thereright to offer the support when
I can't do it, and the guilt isreal right.
That is a very real emotion,but it's so warming to know that
(12:52):
at any time I have that supportand I think that's the biggest
kind of, that's the mostimpactful thing for me at this
stage in my life.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
Okay, rachel.
So for me, I think in this partof my life I've had to pull the
reins back because being anentrepreneur is just like a 24
hour thing job, 24 hour job.
When it comes to my family, weare all busy.
So I know my mom and Isometimes we chuckle because
it's three o'clock in themorning.
She's up, I'm up and we're justworking together.
But overall, like right now,where I'm at, life is very
(13:21):
precious and although we've beenthere for each other, never
want we're not here for a longtime A lot of things are very
temporary.
So now what I try to do isdefinitely a lot certain time
for family time.
Or tell my mama like we're notgoing to do any work, like I was
going to put a desk in my roomand I'm like mom, no, we're not
(13:42):
going to do that.
But from young you know like ittakes a village and that's the
biggest thing for me.
When it comes to my friends, myfamily, like they have been
with me through the entirejourney and no matter what I'm
doing, they're going to be there.
Whether it's lifting the bags,whether it's them supporting
video, taping what I'm doing,whatever it is, they've been
there.
So that's just been my journeyand I'm learning to prioritize,
because sometimes when we talkabout balance, it's just like
(14:05):
sometimes I'm like there's notenough hours in a day.
But you know, for me I just tryto prioritize the things that
matter and, like I said, life isprecious.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
So totally understand .
So I guess, just quick, I guesswe have two lovely ladies on
the stage who are celebrating 15years of marriage this year
Jasmine and Nemeek.
So for either of you andwhoever wants to go first, like
I know, both of you haveincredible jobs right, and you
(14:35):
know I say this on the podcastall the time these big jobs,
these big roles and globalcompanies how do you sustain
marriage for 15 and 16 yearswith these amazing jobs and
responsibilities that you have?
How does that even work?
Speaker 5 (14:55):
So Jasmine and I talk about this a lot right, because
we really do kind of sit thereand say our husbands are just
rock solid, right For what theyhave to endure what we.
Speaker 6 (15:06):
that is not that fair .
Speaker 5 (15:08):
No, I think my secret sauce is that Mark and I really
communicate so openly with eachother and we have like there's
no who's bar, right.
So whatever's bothering you, wetalk about it.
If it's too much, if it's tooheavy, we say and we really just
support each other right.
There's nothing better thanhaving a partner who supports
(15:30):
you fully and thoroughly inevery single way.
And again, I talk about thevillage, but of course Mark
plays is a centerpiece in thatvillage and, yeah, I don't think
we would be where we are if wedidn't have a very solid
communication style.
We prioritize each other.
I talked about that on mypodcast as well.
(15:50):
I mean your podcast.
But my episode.
But no, we prioritize each otherand we really just take time
for one another and love eachother.
I mean I really I can't expresshow deep that is right.
(16:13):
I mean there are just unspokenthings about our connection that
go without saying and we kindof make it work.
So 16 years is great.
I'm really proud of us.
Speaker 6 (16:30):
So you know, I'm very transparent and authentic when
I like to say I'm a child brideand I should stop saying it
because it sounds soinappropriate Absolutely, but I
got engaged at 22, and I wasmarried at 24.
And so when you ask aboutsustaining a marriage, when
(16:52):
Chuck and I got married, we hadno idea what we were doing.
We had zero idea what we weregetting ourselves into.
And just because you getmarried doesn't mean you know
how to be or you are a wife, oryou are a husband.
So what we had to realize isthat the foundation with which
we got married, which was I loveyou so much, you don't this
(17:22):
flimsy emotion that you don'tfeel constantly.
You like you lose in anhoneymoon, like it's gone Right.
It's flimsy and nobody preparesyou for the fact that a
sustaining, long-termrelationship has to be built on
(17:43):
something far more solid.
And so what we've had to do andI would the credit I have, and
I thank God for this we havesome core characteristics that I
believe sustained us and helpedus.
I don't shy away from work, Ihave a great work ethic and I am
(18:03):
committed and I am disciplined.
I don't find it hard, like Itell people at the time.
If you can't get up and be goodto the GM, why are you getting
married?
Because if you struggle withdiscipline and commitment,
that's literally what it takes.
And in the case of my husband,chocolate is the epitome of
(18:29):
grace and mercy and kindnesspersonify.
He is very, he finds it easy tobe selfless, which is good,
because those, those are.
Bible says you know, women,submit to your husband.
It says that you know husbandshould love their wives the way
(18:51):
the Christ loved the church andhe died for the church.
So chocolate has to die to medaily and I hate that for him,
but, but.
But in reality, because we hadthose gifts and characteristics
and they were real and they cameto us naturally to come in
(19:12):
together as a union, we realizedthat, okay, you have this
strength, I have this strength,I have to learn to talk and be.
You know what I mean.
He has to learn that we ain'tgiven up right.
And I think now and it hastaken us years Now we realize
that the commitment is to theunion, the commitment is to us,
(19:36):
last us together first,individually second, and that
self sacrifice can be sobeautiful if you have two
willing partners willing to putthe other.
And so when you see me, look athim, believe Google Gaga eyes.
(19:59):
It's not because I love him,it's because I'm so grateful,
I'm so grateful.
Yeah, like you've seen theugliest part of me.
I've heard you worse than any.
Your spouse were to you morethan anybody else will, and so
I'm so grateful that just do her.
I'm so, I'm so and so thatthat's, that's the sustaining.
(20:25):
I think I'm ready for the next15, 20, 50.
But I didn't.
But I got married, wasn't there, but here and now, this is this
good.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
Not to put me and Chelsea's business out there,
but as the two non marriedpeople, I forgot.
Speaker 4 (20:48):
I forgot I was on the podcast.
I was listening, like, like Iforgot I was on the stage.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
So, as an entrepreneur and I'm sorry, dad,
mom, maybe one day we'll see mygrandma is probably the most
upset.
It's okay, chelsea is a buddingentrepreneur, that is.
You know.
Like you said, being anentrepreneur is a 24 hour job.
Like, how do you do that?
And balance possibly dating, ifyou are the type of thing Like
how does that work?
(21:16):
Like, how do you get someonewho understands that?
Speaker 4 (21:19):
I'm recorded right Because I so I was in a
relationship while I am.
It's hard right now, it'scomplicated right now it's
complicated, but so I actuallyI've been in a relationship for
seven years while I was.
Whatever, I am sorry if you'rewatching this, if you're
watching this, you know whatwe're going to.
(21:39):
You understand what we're goingto do right now.
So for me it's just, it hasbeen challenging because, well,
I'm going to talk as if you'remy man.
Okay, so dating someone likefor me, I appreciate the person
who I was dating because he wasalso an entrepreneur as well.
So we understood the hustle, weunderstood the grind and I feel
(22:03):
like for me it is challengingbecause sometimes you do have to
say, like on Tuesdays, fernsdown, we have to do a date night
, and I think that's kind ofprobably where we went wrong in
our relationship.
I'm not putting our businessout there, I'm just saying, but
that's probably what we wentwrong in regards to.
Sometimes you do have toprioritize relationship, but
it's hard, like when you'reyoung and you're trying to get
(22:25):
it and you're like focused onthe end goal.
Because one thing about guysI'm not an expert like Jasmine,
but I'm just I just feel likefor men when they have a goal or
something they're trying toachieve.
No one is getting in the way ofthat, and I feel like as women,
we kind of have to have thatsame drive.
So that's just where I am rightnow.
That's where I am right nowwith all of my circumstances.
(22:49):
I feel like sometimes I putthat first, when I should put
you know God first and then youknow my commitment to my girls
and make sure that when I'mcoming and I'm going to be
engaged or have been in amarriage, that I actually am
bringing something solid to thetable that I can stand on my own
.
So for me, that's where I amright now dating.
I'm not even right now dating,I'm just focusing on me right
(23:10):
now and building me again.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
So we speak about breaking this glass ceiling,
right, and we feel like and Ithink a lot of us have talked
about this before and you know,constantly, as women, we've kind
of always come intoenvironments where, first in
this and we're, you know,breaking glass ceilings for the
people, the next generationthat's coming about.
How do we stop from having thenext generation of women and
until I start with you, fromhaving to break that glass
(23:40):
ceiling again so we're nothearing the first female senior
this or that or the other?
What do you think some thingswe can do to stop that from
happening?
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Oh my goodness, if it only depended on us, then you
know there would be no moreglass ceilings for us.
But it's not just us, right,there are others involved, and
(24:12):
so it's difficult, you know, youthink you're in 2020, whatever,
and certain things won't apply.
It does apply.
We've only come thus far.
Right, we still have a long wayto go, but if we work together,
we can do a lot more.
I think, if we support eachother, and it starts by just you
(24:35):
know little small things buyingmy girl's tracksuit, you know,
you know just little smallthings.
Supporting each other.
Mentor, young people, our youngpeople, make sure that when
they come along, there arethings that they know that
they're seeing, so that whenthey get in certain situations
(24:56):
and offices or in a hardsituation, they know how to
react.
Yeah, tika, what about you?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
I come back to just momentum.
I'm going to piggyback on whatthis beautiful lady has talked
about in just making themomentum a normalcy.
So the momentum you talkedabout in tracksuit or this type
of environment, this form, youknow, I go back to, even like
the Roger Bannister, that wholetheory.
No one could run a four minutemile until he did, and then what
(25:31):
happened is everyone did itafter that.
So it's almost this commitmentto the thing that we think we
can't do that, if we can releasethat and relinquish that and
make that a normalcy, that Wellthe ceiling is not even a
ceiling, it's only a ceilingbecause your perspective is at
the ceiling that we cannormalize being a beast
(25:51):
normalize Not, you know, not big, how long to be a you know the
first magistrate Sorry, how doyou say it?
The worship though, because Icouldn't even get it, couldn't
even get it right.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Right, right, that waship full.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
The worship.
I'm gonna go with you and weare, and we are right, um, but
that that in ten years time,five years, that that's a
normalcy.
It's not something that we'relike, you know, even I just say
as a problem medium woman, youknow, when we make it on the big
stage, it's like, oh my god,this happened, like why can't we
have a team that makes it big?
(26:28):
It's like did the god say blast, blast, blast, bermuda?
No, not you like.
No, it's what we commit to,right.
So it's like knowing that it'spossible, seeing it before it
happens, the visualvisualization piece, and again
just going back to making it anormalcy, that is possible for
us, yeah anybody else want tocomment on the break in the
(26:49):
glass ceiling before we jump onI?
Speaker 4 (26:52):
Just think similarly, like, like they said, I'm
sending the ladder back downbecause I'm coming from a
perspective of you.
Ladies are not ill, but I'mreally young, the young.
I Actually had women whoactually poured into me.
(27:16):
So when people see this resultand I'm still striving to be
better and who I am but I've hadwomen who since day one my mom,
women in school pour into me.
Even when I was in America, howI kind of got into my brand, I
had a Lady who became like a momto me out there.
She had a boutique.
(27:37):
She just took me under her ringand poured into me.
She sent the ladder down for meand Literally she taught me
everything and it was no charge.
She didn't charge me, was justshe wanted to see me ran.
And so for me, when I come backhome, or the women that I'm
around, I want to see them beingtoo.
So it's just like a trickleDonna, fast.
So like living in Bermuda, I'mthe women that I'm around.
(28:01):
That's what we do.
You know, if I see opportunityfor you, I'm calling you on,
speaking your name in rooms,different things like that, and
so that just for me, is justsending the letter back down and
pouring into each other andit's literally, it's a.
It's a.
It's different, especiallybeing an entrepreneur, because
it's kind of endless.
I don't really have anyonetelling me what to do.
So if you have a clothingboutique or something like that,
(28:22):
then I can.
If you have a clothing boutique, then you know I'm also a free
game to give you if nobody overmy shoulder telling me I can,
cannot.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
This thing about having women in your life, right
, and one of the main reasonswhy I wanted to create the
podcast, because I'm surroundedby amazing women, right, and I
think not a lot of other peopleknow about all the amazing women
that are in each other's livesand all the things that we kind
of do, but as we get older, wekind of struggle some time to
maintain some of thoserelationships.
So, a jazz will come to you.
(28:55):
How do you cultivate yourfriendships as an adult?
And what would you send toPronga?
So I apologize, but how wouldyou say?
What would you say is why yourcircle is so important to you?
Speaker 6 (29:06):
Okay, I Will do a disclaimer.
I have a gift of cultivation ofrelationships.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
I believe that yes.
Speaker 6 (29:15):
So it comes very easy to me.
It is literally my job and so,and, but I think that was that
was first built at throughfriendships.
I've always been a girl's girl.
I love women, I Love, I loveseeing women succeed, I love
seeing them happy, I love, Ilove women in a point that
(29:38):
sometimes could be a littleshade, but I had to.
But I'm very intentional aboutmy friendships and especially
Getting married young.
I didn't, I wasn't narrowlyfocused to the point where I
(29:59):
left my friends behind, but theywere all doing things I wasn't
doing.
I was now trying to figure outhow to cook and then decided I
wasn't going to, or I was, youknow, getting, I was having a
baby and they were traveling theworld.
But it's just, it'sintentionality.
The way you approach afriendship should be the same
way you approach yourpartnership should be the same
way you approach a child, right?
(30:20):
So it's it's all about.
I have a standing lunch withyou.
This is on the calendar andwe're going to try not to miss
this, right?
Even if I pick up my phone andI will do this during the day, I
will spend 15 minutes and Iwill message hi, love, you mean
it?
Bye, hi.
I was just thinking about you.
Okay, bye, I would do it too.
(30:42):
And then I the phone goes down,you're on the problem, the
answer me, but I just needed youto know I was thinking about
you and so I'm very intentionalabout that.
I want my friends to know thatI love them, that they mean a
lot to me and, specifically,having friends in your life that
(31:02):
are where you are in the, inthe, in the phase that you are
in your life, I think we don'ttalk about breaking up with
friends enough and we don't talkabout the evolution of
friendships, and there werefriends that cannot be with you
in the phase of life that youare currently living, and nobody
(31:22):
says it's okay to let them go.
I hate the song no new friends.
I love new friends.
I will.
You want to be my friendBecause, as a married woman, I
needed married friends and as acareer woman, I need you.
Shay, check me, just you know.
(31:44):
So that is how I do it and thatis why they're so important to
me, because, just as my marriageis important to my and has has
made me successful, those peopleare the reason I'm still
married my married friends andand my mommy friends and my
career friends, and so Icultivate things and friendships
(32:06):
that are for the phase that I'min my life, and I don't mind
letting go of a friendship If itdoesn't serve me in that moment
it's sad, but I'm going to makea new one.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
So who do you lean on in your friendship circle?
So I know on the podcast Iactually who I actually could,
who are closest friends, waslike my husband, so I'll sign,
you know that one.
Now, who do you?
Speaker 5 (32:30):
lean on.
So I make my friends tiredbecause I'm always busy, I
always have something going onand I mean they physically say
this guy, you made me tired.
It's always something in one.
But they've been with me since12.
Right, and so I don't have awide circle of friends I can say
you know, I have a very smallgroup of friends that know that
(32:53):
I will prioritize them at thedrop of a dime if I need to be
there for them.
Right, and likewise right, we'reall very busy, unlike you.
You know, my friends and I areall in kind of very different
spaces.
You know, some have olderchildren, few have younger
children in the same age as me.
But we all come together on thebasis of our friendship, right,
we love each other and so weshow up for each other, we
(33:16):
support one another and I thinkthat that helps me.
I can't do the known I am thenew France person because that
doors require a lot of work inthe very beginning and I can't
spread myself any more thin thanwhat I already am, right.
So I'm very thankful for the,for the network that I have
right now with the group offriends that I do have.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Absolutely.
And then auntie, obviouslyyou've been in my life for a
long time.
All of our Maxine's friends aremy aunties too.
So how about you?
Who do you lean on when itcomes to your friends?
Speaker 3 (33:47):
I'm kind of a new new friend.
Mind you, I don't have aproblem making new friends
because I love people.
But loyalty means a lot to me,right?
And I think sometimes we haveto protect ourselves from others
who do not have our bestinterests at heart.
And that is very important,especially depending on,
(34:11):
sometimes, your position, yourjob right.
So my friends may not hear fromme every day.
They know I was going to saysomething next year and say they
know.
I love them dearly and the samegoes for the kids.
Even if I'm not their goappearance right, most of my
(34:34):
friends I'm go appearance fortheir kids and even the ones
that I'm not, they're still mygo children.
You know they might not tell mestand up in church, but I'm the
go mom right.
And if anything happens tothose friends I'm going to fight
whoever to get those kidsBecause you know that's my
friend.
(34:54):
I'm going to make sure thatthey are taken care of.
The parents are taken care of,the kids are taken care of.
Friendship is a very seriousthing?
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Yeah, absolutely so, guys, we just have to take a
quick break.
Dj LA is just going to play usa quick song and then we're
going to come right back.
Give us two minutes.
Okay, everybody set the timerfor three, three, two.
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