Hustle Her - 50th - Part 2

Embarking on a journey through the highs and lows of human experience, today's Hustle Heart Podcast is a tapestry of laughter, tears, and the indomitable will that defines us. As your host, Deshay Caines, I'm thrilled to bring to the table Tyka's transformative tales, Auntie's (Maxanne Anderson) legal aspirations born from a poignant childhood memory, and Chelseas' tenacity in the face of adversity. Our stories intertwine to paint a vivid picture of the grit it takes to chase dreams and the resilience needed to stand tall through life's tempests.

Motherhood unfurls its complexity as Jasmine and Maxanne share their parenting philosophies, while Tyka imparts the wisdom she nurtures within her own daughter. Every misadventure, from hair removal cream fiascos to heartfelt moments of encouragement, shapes the profound insights we pass on to the next generation. These narratives are a celebration of the unbreakable bond between a parent and child, highlighting the power of love and understanding in raising daughters brimming with potential.

As we mark the 50th episode of this series, we honor the journey of every individual who has graced this podcast with their truth. The echoes of laughter, the shared moments of vulnerability, and the collective strive for purpose—each story is a thread in the fabric of our community. Join us in this milestone celebration, where the spirit of giving back, the courage to lead, and the joy of service converge to inspire and uplift every heart listening in today.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
It's time for hustle her podcast.
I'm your host, deshae Keynes.
Hustle her is all aboutinspiring women through real
life experiences that havehelped to mold and develop not
only me but my guests into theentrepreneurs and leaders we are
today.
If you're an enterprising womandetermined to succeed and

(00:22):
looking for a bit of motivation,a bit of tough love and some
actionable takeaways to be thebest you, girl, you are in the
right place.
Okay, guys, and we're back.
I'm going to do a little trick.
I learned from the best PRperson on the planet, dewayne
Keynes, and in five, four, three, two, all right, and we're back

(00:47):
, guys.
So what we're going to do isstart, or go back and jump right
into.
I guess, and we'll start withyou, tika, can you share a
moment of self discovery thatyou had that was a significant
impact in your life?
and some of the choices that youmake in your life.
Sorry, I left that little pieceon.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yeah, no, no, I think it would have stemmed from.
So I went to a performing artsschool when I was 12 years old.
I left really, really young.
That was like in DC, likenavigating.
There was like the sniper, andall of that.
I realized, I think, at thattime, that resiliency was

(01:30):
actually my gift.
I think also, being a performer, I've recognized that that's
what God's asked me to do, justwith who I am and how I present.
And so, like, fast forward.
You know, I'm 34 years old andI had this opportunity last year
March actually to be flown toNew York City and I was able to

(01:52):
cook for like the editors andwhoever they like.
It was like I still I'mpinching myself.
But what was dangerous aboutthat, in a good way, is like,
okay, baby girl, you get todream big again.
Because I think sometimes whathappens is when you come back to
this beautiful, you know islandthat we call commuter,
sometimes you feel like, okay,so that dream didn't get, not on

(02:14):
tour of Beyonce, so then youjust have to.
But it's like, no, ma'am, no,ma'am, you will show up like you
are Beyonce every time.
You will, because it your gift.
You can't negotiate with God.
Your gift is not a funnegotiation.
So I think it was just beingthat 12 year old girl and
recognizing that, like you gotheart, you have resilience and

(02:34):
you get to be a performer and nomatter what you do, because you
get to inspire and liveartistry and embody it.
I think that was a definitivemoment for me and I think I get
to tap into her, like every timeI feel like I can't, but that
would be it for me.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yeah, Auntie.
What about you?
What's a moment of selfdiscovery that had significant
importance to your life choices?

Speaker 3 (02:56):
I was about I can never remember the age about
eight or 10, between eight and10, a child at Purvis primary
school, purvis, purvis, andsomething happened to one of my
close friends.

(03:16):
And before that, because Iidolized my grandfather and I
thought my grandfather was apastor he was the head out of,
but he always preached, so Ithought I wanted to be a
preacher too, right.
So I was like, yeah, so I usedto practice up in his bathroom,
I'll practice my sermons andstuff like that.
So I thought, yeah, I'm goingto be a preacher.

(03:38):
And but anyway, so this day atschool she told us something and
it changed my life foreverbecause I could not understand
how anyone could hurt a child.
I did not come from that.
I was extremely protected.
I think I said in my podcast,even Cedar Heal protected me

(04:01):
from myself.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Cedar.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
Heal and yeah.
So I was extremely protected.
I was loved.
I, you know, was bought up likethis.
Everybody had their arms aroundme, and so I just couldn't
understand and I was saying tomyself what am I going to do,
what can I do?
And I said I grew up I'm goingto be a family judge, that's

(04:25):
what I'm going to do.
But at that point I didn't knowyou had to be a lawyer first.
So I was a little disappointed.
I had to become a family lawyerfirst.
But anyway, yes, that was itAll right, I love that.

Speaker 5 (04:37):
Charles.
So for me I want to say it waswhen I was at Oakwood University
, Charles.

Speaker 6 (04:42):
HP Charles Oakwood.

Speaker 5 (04:43):
Yes.
So I was in my final year ofcollege.
I had a semester left and oneday I was driving and I could
not see at night and so I wentto my mom and I was telling her
like something is not right.
And she was like no, and shesaid that because when I was
little she rushed me to thehospital because I had a piece

(05:03):
of sand in my eye.
So the second time she thoughtI was crying wolf.
But I was like no, something islike wrong.
So I went to just one more.
You know how they have like theeye place.
I said you know I'm going totake myself.
So I went and then they endedup telling me like oh, no, like
we need to rush you to aspecialist because you have
carrot to come, and you may havecarrot to come in, and carrots,

(05:23):
cunis, is an eye disease.
So when I went they was justtelling me like you know, you
have a couple of months, or youneed to get surgery or you're
not going to be able to see.
So I was in my last semester.
My mom figured everything out.
She flew me to, took me, brent,to Toronto.
I got a cross Lincoln surgeryand one of the responses were
that I need to come out ofschool and for me, I don't know,

(05:47):
I I don't take no like, I don'ttake no fun answer.
So they was telling me I shouldprobably, you know, come out of
school.
And that's when I I always kindof knew that I was a fighter
and I had heart, but I was nottaking no fun answer.
So I just enrolled my mom and Iwould wrote myself back to
school and I was in school as adisabled student but a lot of

(06:09):
people don't know that because Inever really shared this story.
So when I was in class Icouldn't see anything Like my
eyes were so bad.
Eventually I was able to getglasses to help and assist, but
even, like to this day, I can'tdrive at night right now because
of my situation.
But that situation for me wasmore of a discovery, especially
because I had never won glassesbefore.
So it went from like zero to100, real quick, real quick.

(06:32):
And just to see the fight.
And, like I said, I had my momwith me too and she's a fighter
as well and she's not going tolet anything happen to me.
So that was just a moment forme where I was just like and I
graduated.
And I graduated like, make themcool out of you and stuff.
So I was just like, oh, thisgirl's got it Like she, she, she
bad, that girl's bad.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
Sorry, charles, what about you?

Speaker 4 (06:54):
I think, when I think about, the largest
sub-discovery I had to datewould be when I moved to
Connecticut with my two childrenon my own for work and I know
you're going to come probably doa little bit of that later but
it showed me that, you know, mystrength was immense, right that
I could literally do anything.
After that Intentionally becomein a single parent to progress

(07:19):
my career was something that Ididn't think to be fair, I
didn't allow myself enough timeto take it all in and really
measure the magnitude of what Iwas getting ready to do.
I was taking a three and a fiveyear old overseas by myself
with all my husband, to work ina very demanding job.
But I did it right and I cameback and I have the amount of

(07:40):
pride I felt after being able toaccomplish that right and my
daughters, you know, witnessingme kind of make a sacrifice and
being able to actually get itdone is something that I would
never leave me.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
Jess I was kind of hoping Jess.

Speaker 7 (08:01):
You know what, probably struggling with
infertility, that period of andwe talked about it a bit on the
podcast but that period of lackof control, that period of
feeling broken and being someonewho shares and connects and

(08:25):
feeling like am I not supposedto talk about this, so you don't
talk about it, so we're not.
I can't share this.
For someone like me to notshare that suffocating right and
then to not have people in yourcircle that really kind of
understood at that time, ittaught me and I said this in the

(08:49):
book it taught me faith.
It taught me that I don't havecontrol.
I literally don't, as someonewho loves control and loves to
feel in control.
And for the first time I had noanswers.
There was no reason.
I just couldn't have what Iwanted at the time that I wanted

(09:14):
it and I was trying really hard.
We were trying really hard.
It was a two way thing, but itwas the first time that I was
like this is so if I try hard at, this is not going to get what
I'm not going to get my way, I'mnot going to see the result.
There's no execution here.
That doesn't make sense and Istruggled with it and I felt so

(09:36):
broken Like I was, like this issupposed to work and for the
first time, and then to have mydaughter afterwards and the
fruit of resilience and to havea miscarriage and all those
things.
So it's that period in my lifereally taught me about just
stepping back and realizing thatwhat is to come and the future

(10:01):
that is to be held for you willevolve exactly as it should and
you have to trust that all thatshould be is going to come into
fruition.
But to see the gift on theother side, right, it's pretty
magical.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
So we have so to be good to.
Jasmine and auntie are all girlmoms, and so, when speaking of
motherhood and raising well, awoman now and young girls that
you, you have what's somethingthat you did differently with
raising your girls, that wasdifferent from you, and what do
you want them to know, or how doyou want them, I guess, to feel

(10:42):
about you, auntie?

Speaker 3 (10:47):
Sorry, what did I do differently, I don't know,
because, and my mom, mom, do notstart crying, I'm bad and I
hear you ball it I just I lovemy mom, like I think once, the

(11:10):
moment I had my daughter, Irealized, oh my goodness, like
parents honestly do the bestthat they can with what they
have, right.
So even even my father, mybiological father, who didn't do

(11:32):
what he was supposed to do, Istill I love him tremendously,
right, my mom never bed mouthedhim to me.
She never said anythingnegative to him, to, to me,
about him.
And even my stepfather, who wasextremely strict.
I love that man, right, he wastrying to protect me from the

(11:55):
world and so maybe that's it.
Maybe I wasn't as strict and asprotective like my mom was
extremely protective.
My stepfather was very strictbecause he was protective also
of us, and I think I let Maxifeel a few things because she

(12:18):
was very hardheaded and sheneeded.
She needed to feel.
Yes, she needed to feel somestuff, like one day.
So I always said to Maxi Maxi,you must read.
Reading is important.
That's how they get you, maxi,read, right?
So, my girl, what's your herethis day?

(12:38):
And she saw lotion in thebathroom on a bottle and anyway.
So later on that evening wewere out of function was one of
these work functions when he waschief of staff and I was like
somebody smells like near.

(12:59):
I said, maxi, come here.
So I smelled her head.
The child's head smelled ofnear.
They said Maxi, what have youdone?
Oh, I saw lotion.
I said didn't I tell you toread, read child.
So anyway, she didn't have toend up shaving her whole head at

(13:21):
the time she had long hair sowe had to cut it in a cute
little bob, but I had to let herI you guys get it honest, don't

(13:46):
don't like it.
Just Maxi, no, no, no.
I had to let Maxi feel somestuff for herself.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
I had to let her feel my Nana canes has a saying
those who don't hear must feel,and I call it a sharnan canes
proverb.
It's so crazy because I Iactually feel that more now as
an adult than I ever do as achild.

Speaker 3 (14:13):
But anyway, sorry, I had to.
Yes, so that was it I.
I I, you know gave her a bitterrope and let her feel a few
blows, so you had to she had to.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
So jazz, what about you?
And what do you want mine tofeel about you?

Speaker 7 (14:35):
I'm not gonna cry.
I want my daughter to know thatthe day she was born she was
loved fully, like my cup wasfull.
There's nothing she could do inthis world to make me love her

(14:56):
more.
There's no action, there's noactivity, there's no girl,
there's nothing, that she wasloved completely the day she
came into this world and thateverything else is extra, and
that I am here to support her inall of her dreams and her

(15:18):
aspirations and I work my buttoff to make sure that she has
options and that I will for befulfilled as a mother.
When I see her pursuing heroptions and weighing them out
and laying them all across thefloor, saying, mommy, should I

(15:38):
do this or should I do that?
That is what I am here for, andso I just want her to know that
.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
And Tika, I think you have the smallest baby.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
Don't tell her that, miss Amogen Adia so I'll take my
approach will be the thing thatI am proud that I've
incorporated.
That wasn't necessarily a partof my childhood and that would
be just her groundedness and herspirituality.
So I can tell you how this, howshe mothers me right at what

(16:16):
should be for February.
I had, you know, a timerecently where I was just like
they able to, you know, talk tome and I'm just like can't do it
, can't do it like thisentrepreneurship can't do it.
People don't get it.
You know, working 20-hour days,sometimes you're so on the
throat like you don't know ifyou're coming or doing whatever
it is.
And I excuse me, if motion isfine for me, it was fine for you

(16:40):
.
But I just remember he wassitting at the breakfast table,
my hubby was on a trip, on awork trip, and she was eating
her blueberries.
And when I tell you, out ofnowhere, it wasn't sorry time,
it wasn't, we were getting readyfor school and she looked at me
, dead on my face, and she saiddon't give up on your dreams.
And I said, I said what did yousay, little miss Amazon?

(17:04):
She said don't do that, don'tgive up on your dreams.
And I was like okay, I said allright.
I said I got you for me withher.
It is, don't do what I say,it's not leading her to the
water to make her drink, it'smaking her thirsty.
So if I, if you cut up, you know, but if you know, if, if she

(17:33):
acts in a way that is not youknow, in alignment with I know
who she is, I ask her how do youfeel?
I feel sad.
And if she stands on Papa'sfoot or something, and how do
you think Poppy feels sad?
I said okay and I walk away.
Poppy, I'm sorry, for I don'thave to make you do what I say,

(17:56):
because I think that's part ofthe broad Opsie that when you
get free, who are you?
So, little girl, when you walkin a room, know who you are, not
because someone told you, butbecause you know from an
intrinsic place who you are.
And I think people that shiftand shake and create the world
know who they are first.
So that is what I want, missAmogen, of the afternoon as a

(18:18):
mommy of two as a mommy of two.

Speaker 4 (18:25):
So my girls actually here tonight for a very
deliberate reason because I amconstantly telling them that
they have to push through fear,right, everything that you do,
you're gonna have fear in.
There's always gonna besomething that's gonna make you
scared, and they need to see medo it too, right?
So tonight they are here and Iknow they see me.
I can't see them, but I callthem my accountability partners

(18:48):
because if this one thing mychildren are gonna do is hold me
accountable, so if you saidthat you you're sorry for
shouting at me today andtomorrow you shout again, you're
gonna hear about it because yousaid you were not gonna shout
at me anymore and her be againhaving this conversation,
especially my youngest one.
But I love that, right.
I love that we can be so openwith one another and you know I

(19:11):
encourage it often like, come on, let's talk about it, let's.
As long as you're respectful,we can have a conversation about
anything.
I want you to be able to tellme anything, and I think that
that's important, not for me tofoster in the home, because
that's what they become asleaders and women in the future,
right, and so they need to feelcomfortable being able to speak
up and saying what they, whatthey feel and how they feel to

(19:33):
whoever right, as long as theycan do it respectfully.
So, girls, I know you see me,but you know that you are my
world, that all of what I do isfor you I would not be here if
it wasn't for you and that mommycan't work through fear to you.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
I love you so we're gonna come to you now, charles,
but this I'm gonna plant, momI'm gonna keep, I have a nephew,

(20:14):
so so Chelsea and DeVica havegiven me permission to do what
I'm about to do, so I want tomake it very clear that I'm not
breaching any boundaries, but,charles and I'm sorry, tika
giving me permission to do whatwe're about to do, and that's
talking about grief and losingsignificant people that have
that were in their lives, and Ijust want to talk to the two of

(20:36):
you really quickly about one.
I know, charles, it's a littlefresher for you, but how have
you been navigating?
And Tika come to you after thisperiod of grief in your life so
I guess like, oh, but okay.

Speaker 5 (20:59):
So when everything, of course, when everything first
happened, I was, I had justseen him and then I went away
and I wasn't even away for 24hours and I was with my best
friend and I got a call tobasically say you know, my
brother was gone, he had passedand it's just within seconds.
You're like just changes,you're not the same person

(21:23):
anymore.
Like a lot of things aredifferent, relationships are
different, and one thing I cansay it was very dark.
I, literally I was very darkand I would never forget coming
off the plane, running home tomy mom and breaking down in my
driveway and my mom telling meget up.

(21:43):
Oh, she, she, I'm got it, I gotit, I got it, I got it, I got
it.
My mom basically telling me toget up and I'm like I'm done
with it, like I'm done withentrepreneurship, I'm just done
with everything, I'm just done.
And she was like that's not howwe were gonna finish this race.

(22:04):
And so in the, in the, in thepoint of darkness, when we think
about darkness, we think thatnothing is happening in darkness
, but in darkness, if you thinkabout a plant and you think of
when things are planted in thesoil, it's dark until when it

(22:24):
grows, and in the sun and itcomes into a plant.
And so you realize that in thestate where I was at a full
darkness, god was working on meand I feel as if that I
literally had to.
Like, when Jay has been talkedabout, has been talked about
control.
Okay, when we think of control,I'm like that in terms of I do

(22:57):
this, I do that.
If I, if I study my class andstudy in a test, I get like a
like you know, this was out ofmy control.
I literally had to put my handsup, like my mom said.
I asked her how she was doingit and she was just like God is
in control.
The same person that blue air,blue breath into him.
Um, that's not me, he is incontrol.
So for me, I was literallyforced to put my hands up and

(23:19):
say God, you are in control inthe midst of my darkness.
And, like I said to anyone outthere that you may be going in
your darkness, because when wethink about grief, we only think
about losing a person, but youcould lose a job, you could be
going through divorce anddifferent things like that, and
so, when I think about the darkplace I was at, god was working
on me and still working on me.
And then, even when I look at,I posted something on TikTok

(23:40):
talking about where you are iswhere, exactly where you need to
be.
I'm telling you that is truebecause I was away for 10 years
living in America, and I justcame back last year and I spent
I was working on a job I wasn't.
I felt like I shouldn't havebeen there.
I'm gonna count in as well, butI was just doing like admin
work, but I was seeing mybrother every single day.

(24:01):
We was working on his boots, wewas grinding together and, to
be honest, when I think back,because we all gonna have a time
, our time is all gonna come notto scare anybody, but we're
gonna have a time and I feellike that's why purpose is so
important and understand yourwhy and talking to God about
your gifts and making sureyou're using those things.
In the midst of my darkness,when I found out, I was actually

(24:24):
with my best friend who hadwent through this and lost her
brother three years ago.
She carried me and she pickedme up her and another close
friend of mine and so she knewwhat I needed, god knew what I
needed and I was with the rightplace, with the right person at
the right time.
So when I think, when I loveyou too, when I think about

(24:48):
navigating through grief, it isa journey because tomorrow and
today they look totallydifferent.
I could be sitting there typing, I could be winning, winning an
award or something, andimmediately I think of my
brother.
And when it comes to my person,that was my person in those
hours.
He I'm and I were bothentrepreneurs and if you look at
my logo, my brother designed it.

(25:09):
A lot of different things that Idid we did together and we've
been doing that since I wasyoung, and so losing that person
for me has been the mostchallenging, heartbreaking thing
in my life.
And four o'clock in the morning, you know he'll text me because
we're all working and he'd belike how you doing?
And I'll be like I'm stressedand he'd be like stressed about
backwards is dessert, so go getsome ice cream and then go back

(25:31):
and work, and so when we thinkof those things that we think
were little, those are bigthings and he made sure I
learned to hold support andstuff like that.
So, in the midst of my darkness, when I had to hold my hands up
and put guard in control.
I had to leave the island forsituations.
I had to just go and clear mymy head.
And I just remember just.

(25:54):
I went to Oakwood Church and thepastor was preaching about just
God's, just his miraculous, andhow he just holds you and you
can't hold yourself.
And I remember saying you knowwhat this period of my life, the
things that Mark and I didtogether, it's not gonna end
here, and I took made aconscious decision to make sure
that my brother's death is notin vain.

(26:14):
So, all of the hard work, allof the nights we stayed up, all
of the porn that he did it to me, important to me, I just knew
that I'm gonna do the same.
And if you listen to hisinterviews he's always talking
about I thought my purpose wasfootball, but no, my purpose was
to inspire other people, and Ithink that's what our parents
have instilled in us.
And so for me, when I'mnavigating my life, what keeps

(26:36):
me going is knowing that I had abrother who encouraged me, or
brother that worked in me toremind me of my purpose, and a
strong support system.
So for me it's not the end,because it's every day.
I guess every day is different,but I'm doing the best that I
can, and when I went away I dida photo shoot.
It was called better days,because when I do stuff for
optimum, optimum is a familybrand for me.

(26:58):
It's not when you see differentthings I'm posting, it's
because I'm probably strugglingthrough it too, and that's how I
started my brand.
Because optimum body needs toextend to your best level.
I changed the OP to a UP sothat people can symbolize and
see that I'm telling you to keeptrying to extend upward, and if
you are at rock bottom, theonly other place you can go is

(27:19):
to the top.
And so for me, these are thethings that are instilled in me
when I'm struggling to keepgoing.
And then my mama is theretelling me all the time she's
like Chelsea gather the rosesand leave the dawns alone.
And that's just what I do in mydaily walk.
They're trying to beentrepreneurial and just trying
to make it through, becausewe're all going through stuff,
right?

Speaker 1 (27:47):
and Tika.
I know that you lost yourbrother.
Yeah was definitely.
Thank you so much for that,chelsea.
Tika, I know you lost yourbrother as well and I know it
was a little bit longer thanlast year, but how have you been
dealing with that grief and nothaving your brother with you
anymore?

Speaker 2 (28:05):
yeah, um, that was a, that was a, that was a time,
that was a time and and you justremember it like it was
yesterday.
Really, I love to be in a placewhere I feel like things are
happening.
Choose me, and so when you talkabout philanthropic work or
making your name great becausethat's really what the result

(28:27):
was is like this adnis girl isgonna make this name great,
period, right, but, yeah, I meanmany past, I mean somebody.
Things that I don't feel likemy family was able to really
relish in was like the nerve ofus to mourn a monster, right,
that that's still maybe aninflammatory term for people who
know that my brother was PrinceEdmonds, right, who was he

(28:49):
monster that raised them?
This beautiful woman who raisedme?
To.
If you were raised how we wereraised and saw the abuse that we
saw, how would you be?
And to, to be there that night,because I was the only person
only seeing at the time.
And to see the person that yougrew up with, playing fluffy

(29:10):
with and he used to go he's arough me up, so he's a rough me
up, but to see that person theydidn't a white sheet but then to
feel like the fabric of Bermuda, felt that we shouldn't mourn
because he was so disgusting andmost people didn't even know

(29:31):
him firsthand.
It was as if my grief wasn'teven warranted, and that made a
beast out of me in a good way,because you know what
Philanthropy chose me.
So when I made my victim impactstatement, I was still judged.
When I gave contrition and loveto the family of the person who

(29:53):
murdered my brother, I wasstill judged.
So my thing is oh, sisha justgave me judged.
So then people talk aboutauthenticity.
Authenticity was attached tothat.
That was birthed in that moment.
Authenticity, philanthropy,loving-owned people being
transparent, being brazen, doingthe thing.

(30:15):
I can't help be that Right.
But then also to see the gap inwhat I saw was Bermuda, even
just in the world, because we'rea microcosm of a macrocosm and
saying you know, what this worldneeds is actually love.
So if I didn't see it, I can'tbe pissed that people didn't see
it or didn't provide it.
I get to embody love.

(30:35):
So when I walk in a room, Ihope that people feel that
that's right.
So I think that was my journey.
With that and I will leave withthis, I get to make my name
great.
This Adniss girl gets to makethat name great, I get to let my

(30:57):
mom be sitting in the audienceand she's not sure.
Sometimes, like Tika, I can'tbelieve and I'm like all of that
.
We talked about it when youshow that's tapestry, but I'm
one NBC or wherever I am in aGombe cake, shandayne, in right,
wippin' up when I'm wippin' up,and who I'm serving that Adniss

(31:18):
girl that's who I am.
I think it's just really makingthe name great and being
unabashed.
I'm never afraid to tell peoplethat my brother was Prince
Adniss, not afraid, right.
And I think too for people whohad a similar, you know a
parallel story like this blackyoung girl from Bermuda who

(31:39):
people don't even know where itis, who had that board opsie
with an abusive household, whohas a dad who's one drugs and
doesn't choose to be in her life.
She gets to be glamorous andamazing and she gets to impact
and she gets to live for lifewith you.
So know that it's possible, soYay.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
So first, thank you both so much for sharing that
with us.
I know that it's very fresh andnot taken away any of that, so
I genuinely appreciate you beingvery vulnerable with us with
those scenes.
I can't believe it, but I justgot a time notification so, as

(32:22):
we kind of wrap up with our lastquestion, that will go from all
ladies I don't know whereeveryone is, but we're going to
tee up for the questions the Q&Apop portion of this so if you
guys do have a question, therewill be two floating mics that
will come around, ok?
So I guess, auntie, I'm goingto start with you and then we'll
just make all we're done.
We always start, all right.
So when we spoke about this andI'm out with you guys, one of

(32:45):
the biggest things that I getfeedback from on the podcast is
the why right, your why, like,at the end of the day, you're
all very successful women inyour rights, but what is the why
?
What gets you up?
What is the driver behind theexcellence that is each of you?

Speaker 3 (33:05):
I think it probably gets back to my grandfather
again Just leaving the worldjust a better place.
I mean, I'm not a great person,but if I can affect, impact,
change one person's life, justmake their life better and that
person can make someone else'slife better, then we'll all be

(33:29):
leaving the world a better place.
I don't know who talked aboutlove.
I think everybody's talkedabout love.
Love is so important, right?
Love is easy.
Love is free.
We hate too much.
We're too quick to have anegative word about someone else

(33:51):
.
Something else Love, love isjust so important.
Love, just helping your fellowmen, just leaving the world a
better place.
If you're not making adifference in someone's life, if
you're not helping someone,honestly, what are you doing?

(34:12):
What are you doing?
I just think we that's it, love, and just change someone's life
, and it doesn't take a greatperson.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
Jeff Me.

Speaker 5 (34:32):
What's up.

Speaker 7 (34:34):
I thought you were going to say Jeff, OK, so my why
?
I've talked a lot about myfamily, and so then they are my
why.
But I want to be why I get upevery morning.
I've always been very, veryaware that I was I've talked

(34:55):
about this that I was put herefor some reason.
God didn't make me five tanloud you can hear me before you
see me.
He didn't make me like this forno reason.
And so I intend and I'm sayingthis with passion because I mean
it I get up every morning and Iintend to have and get all that
God's intended for me.

(35:16):
I intend to live this life andI will bleed it out.
I am going to be exhausted.
When I die, I will just lay outReady to go.
I will have talked to all ofthe people I will have impacted.
I want all that God has for me,and I believe that is great

(35:37):
things.
And so, while I do things veryafraid, I do things very unsure.
I do them because I am very,very self-assured that I was put
here for a reason, and sothat's why I do what I do,
because I'm not leaving anythingon the table.
No crumbs will be left.
I'm going to do and achieve andbe the all that I was destined

(36:04):
to be.

Speaker 1 (36:05):
I love that.
Ok, take us.

Speaker 2 (36:08):
All right.
So we had Cedar Hill Cedar.

Speaker 9 (36:10):
Hill we had a Cedar Hill right, cedar Hill, so I'm a
point girl.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
And that's OK.
I'm not saying spicy.

Speaker 3 (36:19):
I'm not saying spicy, I'm not saying it's not spicy,
spicy.

Speaker 2 (36:25):
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
But the beautiful thing abouthaving a board opsie in point is
I was a tone boy probablywouldn't surprise anybody, but I
was jumping off cliff and peakwhen the girls were stealing
number one.
I mean I didn't die, but I waslike if you knew it was going to
be a girl that ruled with you.
It was like they called it atake now of Tuesdays and all,

(36:46):
but back when I was, you know,we were just jumping and we were
just enjoying it and so thrillat the expense of meeting.
Your gift is always my way, mm.
So my thing is it's one of themantras that I just live by is
like you know, the cave you fearto enter lies the treasure you
seek, mm-hmm.
So my thing is know what youseek before you came here.

(37:09):
Our job is to forget, right,mm-hmm, in the process.
But you came here forsomebody's treasure, mm-hmm.
So my thing is if the creatoris writing that gift or that
meal, whatever that is, for you,what does it look like to kind
of release something, so that goof some fear to get it, you
know.
So for me it's, of course it'slove, like Ms Mack said, you

(37:33):
know, but I think it's likereleasing the fair piece,
releasing it so you can like inyoga I practice yoga often it's
making space to move into newspace, releasing to be able to
receive.
So for me it's like a littlebit, like Jaya said, I'm leaving
her tired.

Speaker 8 (37:51):
Mm-hmm Tired Like.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
I have no interest.
One of the things that I thinkplagues us, just as people, is
you know you die at 30.
And when I say die, I mean youhave people that walk around and
talk about this one, two legs.
They get in their car, theydrive to work, they contribute
nothing and they expect to bejuiced about life Absolutely.
And if you're not juiced aboutlife, that's part of the issue,

(38:14):
because that's the reason whyservice sometimes is annoying.
You ask somebody for a glass ofwater and they're half in a,
half in a like what's this?
You agree?

Speaker 7 (38:22):
to be hurt, to give me water.

Speaker 2 (38:23):
I agree, I agree to come.

Speaker 7 (38:25):
You agree to give me water.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
But when you meet someone that's juiced like so I
get married in April Blassen andI have this amazing man.
But we have this designer who'sdesigning our dresses.
She showed it and I love peoplethat are juiced because they
make life better.
Like she, the way that shesketched, I'm like you gotta
give me African goodness.

(38:47):
This is from Africa and I'mjust like the way that you
design these dresses.
I feel your heartbeat in yourportrait, yeah, and I can't help
but be that person.
So if I have to turn it down,then I probably just been being
that environment, that part it'slike time off or not at all.
for me, sir, I'm jumping offcliff in this life.

Speaker 1 (39:07):
Yeah, tabika.

Speaker 4 (39:08):
So, outside of the natural reasons for family and
all of those things, recently, Ithink, since being on your
podcast and then since havinghad this promotion, what I've
had a lot come to me was peopleneeding help, right, people
needing advice, people needingmentorship, people just needing
someone to talk to.
A lot of what I said on that,that, that part, that episode,

(39:31):
resonated about.
Like you know, my boss is likewhat you were describing and I
don't really like it.
What do I do?
And it really gave me this kindof realization that this is
what I'm supposed to be tellingpeople, right.
This is how I'm supposed tohelp people get through these
periods in their life.
I think one of the quotes Iwrote on Instagram is I always
want to be the senior that Ineeded as a junior, right, and

(39:53):
so that is really.
That is so, you know, strongwithin me, because I know now
that through this journey, Ihave to slice a little piece of
me and give it to 25 year oldswho are trying to figure it out
right At 25, I didn't know whatI was going to do, where I was
going to be, how I was going toget there, and it was those
people who took that slice andgave it to me.

(40:14):
That helped me to get where Iam.
So I think that you know,outside of my children and
everything else, that's a bigwhy for me to be here.

Speaker 5 (40:27):
So my wife stems from , like family upbringing.
Growing up, you know, myparents always pushed us not
pushed us, but they gave us theoption to serve and they pushed
service, service to God, serviceto your fellow man VI.
Because why did I say that?
Like I don't know, it just cameto my head.

(40:48):
I guess Bermuda Institute isstealing my hair.
So they always pushed serviceand so some things just become
innate, it just becomes a partof you.
So even when you look at my mom,you always tell me also that my
gifts are like my interpersonalinterpersonal skills.
Mic check I'm good, myinterpersonal interpersonal

(41:13):
skills.
So when you shop with optimumbody, it's good.
So when you shop with optimumbody, a lot of people come to
buy clothes but you leave with adifferent experience and you
leave motivated, you leaveinspired, and that's because I'm
not just selling clothes, I'mselling an experience.
I'm, you know, offering peoplerooms to sit in, like I'm

(41:33):
selling out of my house rightnow and people come, they sit on
my couch for hours.
They'll be there from like 10to like four, like just sitting
there talking about theirproblems and you know just me
giving my advice and just havingsomeone you can talk to.
So when I think about my why isdefinitely for service.
I know that might what mypurpose is, and it's also not
just about knowing who you are,but also knowing that knowing

(41:54):
who's you are, and I thinkthat's just.
You know my purpose and my whywhy I keep going.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
All right, I think they're going to give you a hand
out.
But come on, max, and that'sfine.
So in the meantime I'm in, john, if you could just bring up the
lights a little bit.
If anyone has any questions,I'm actually going to log in.
I'm actually going to log on tothe slider quickly just to see
if anyone has put any questionsup, and so I think we have some
mics if a cure is in the backwith any mics.
Anyone have any questions and aQ&A before we wrap for the

(42:26):
evening?
Okay, so question right here.
Let's test it out on.
That mic Is on.

Speaker 8 (42:39):
Hello, hello, there we go.

Speaker 5 (42:43):
I have a question, Even everyone.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
I have a question for Chelsea.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
What's something that you would tell your younger
self?
I know everyone else you knowspoke to their daughters, but
what would you tell your youngerself?

Speaker 5 (43:01):
Thank you, caleb Burgess, my best friend of the
like 12 years.
Thank you.
Thank you for being the personto stand up and ask me a
question my younger self.
I think I would just tell myyounger self that there's

(43:21):
nothing smooth sailing aboutlife.
I think a lot of times we thinkthe amount of money that we
make is going to solve someproblems or whatever.
But we're always going to haveproblems.
There's always going to besomething that you're battling,
some trials, some tribulations,something being able to just
reset, refocus and realign.
It's okay to do that, even ifyou have to pivot.

(43:44):
That's what I would tell myyounger self that nothing is
smooth sailing.
I know that along my journeyI've also because, being an
entrepreneur, you're mainly likea problem solver there's just
problems and you're just here tosolve them.
I get excited when I'm solvinga problem, but basically that is
what life is, and not beingafraid and being fearless to

(44:05):
tackle those things and knowingthat you put your best for
forward and you do your best andthings will come.
That's what I would tell myyounger self.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
Thank you.
Anyone else?
I see Dr O'Bannon right here.
Dr, put some respect, thank you.

Speaker 8 (44:26):
Good evening everyone .
Okay, let me keep still.
So, first and foremost, I justwant to thank everyone for your
authenticity and for yourvulnerability this evening,
because this is beautiful.
I'm over here weeping, so Iapologize if you see me
afterwards and I look like I'vebeen through some stuff.
I don't know what mascara I puton this evening, so I'm sorry,

(44:51):
yeah, and I talk a little extra,so sorry.
I'm actually curious to knowyour thoughts.
This can go to everyone, anyone,whoever, whatever works best,
but I find that, not just in myexperience, but in the
conversations that I have withwomen all the time on this
island and really people ingeneral, but we're hustle her
here.
Yeah, bermuda is veryinteresting, that we're very

(45:15):
relational.
We're a very relational countryand yet, especially when we're
talking about ourentrepreneurial spirit and also
in our corporate world, where weoften live in silos, I'm
curious to know your thoughts onhow we break down some of these
silos.

(45:35):
We're talking about passingladders back, and I hear that
most of us are trying to passthem back and trying to tap in
the next people, whether it bethe next generation or our
partners on our side.
But how do we break throughthese silos and really open it
up so that, as women inparticular, because we know what
we know how sometimes we can'treally be transparent with each

(45:57):
other out of fear of a potentialrepercussion.
But how can we potentially openup a little bit and expand so
that we can say hey, sis, we'renot in competition here.
We both have gifts, we bothshow up individually in our own
spaces with our own talents,even if we're in the same
industry.
So how can we all thrivetogether?

Speaker 1 (46:20):
Who wants to take that one?

Speaker 2 (46:22):
I would usually Beautifully packaged, yeah,
absolutely.
And then such an important, Ithink, topic to delve into.
I always think the things thatare I always say macrocosm,
microcosm, but the larger thingscome from, of course, one

(46:42):
source, and I think what couldbe maybe a few things that could
be, the answer to it would be,I think, as women, if we work on
completing ourselves as holes,it's easy to divide.
So my thing is I always say Iam no less beautiful because
these ladies are strikinglygorgeous.
If anything, the portrait isjust ton up.
So my thing is the courage.

(47:05):
I think the equation is havingthe courage to say have the
conversation, to say you know,I'm not competing with you,
right?
You know, I think you'regorgeous, right, it's the
courage.
But then the other thing is toactually be the hole, to then
divide yourself.
I think once those things arein place, I don't think these
silos even have room really.
Yeah, that's what comes to mymind.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
Jeff.

Speaker 7 (47:30):
Jeff, I fully and wholly agree.
I was going to say, Sam,exactly what you said is what
needs to happen.
But there needs to be spacescreated right In such a small
community.
There has to be intentionalspaces created by the fearless
right.
There has to be spaces likethis created and then you have

(47:50):
to get a few loud mouths whoaren't afraid, and now this will
follow because they see thatit's okay, you can be all that
you want to be, and in fact, Iwant to help you get there.
So I do a lot of what are youdoing, what you want to do.

(48:13):
We should have coffee.
Let me help you get there.

Speaker 2 (48:17):
I'm just going to say that's just being true for you
there, Coffee let me know.

Speaker 7 (48:24):
Like I said, I already feel like I'm going to
get where I want to get in thislife.
I want to bring everybody withyou and so, but you have to
create those spaces.
Deshae and I are part of anassociation Acre maybe some of
you know it.
It's the Association forCorporational Equity.
That's creating a space and aplace.

(48:45):
And then, within that space andthe place, a few fearless come
in and we start pointing andtargeting you.
I'm going to bring you with me,you here's the tips of Detroit,
like, don't do that, do this.
And so it takes a few, but thenit's contagious because whoever
I help and start talking to,they could copy exactly what I

(49:05):
say and say it to their friendand then say it to the next
person.
And so in a boat, in a space,in an island like ours, we have
to create safety and it's goingto take a few to be courageous
enough to create those spacesand then be contagious enough
that it filled the stars.

Speaker 5 (49:24):
And I also want to say that I know for my
entrepreneurial space as well.
But you also have to be someonelike whoever's trying to
receive.
You also have to be somebodythat's trying to put in the work
.
Nothing is really just given.
I feel like a lot ofopportunities that came from me
was from people who saw that Iwas actually working hard and
putting in the work.
I actually help a lot ofentrepreneurs, but I I also I

(49:46):
the ones that I really help andI'm not picking sides.
But then I see that you'vealready been trying yourself,
because that's another thing isjust like we're in an island.
But because I'm doing something, that does not mean that
because I don't give you thewhole recipe, that I'm against
you.
It's no like you need to put inthat work yourself and then you
know I don't mind setting theladder back down, but we also
have to talk about not beinglazy and being able to work hard

(50:07):
as well.

Speaker 3 (50:14):
Dr Sam, I think that in Bermuda, we have to work so
hard, right?
You know what?
What we got?
The highest cost of living everin the whole universe, and so,
honestly, we have to work reallyhard just to survive.
So we've got our hair done,right, we've got our hair done,

(50:37):
we're working, we're trying toprovide for our families, you
know, just trying to do what'sright.
So it gets difficult becausesometimes we're doing this right
and it's not because we'retrying to keep other people out,
it's because we're just tryingto survive, right?
I think we need to.

(51:00):
Maybe how do I say this?
We have been conditioned tomistrust others that look like
us, right, and so while we'reworking and we're doing this, we
need to open up and let othersin and help others Also, not

(51:28):
work so hard.
We need to enjoy.
We have a beautiful island here.
If it wasn't for, if it wasn'tfor real, I would never be out
on the water, and that's sad.
That's sad, right, you know whyam I not enjoying the water

(51:51):
Like other people are enjoyingmy water?
So, although we have to workhard yes, we have to work hard
because we have to survive, wehave to provide.
I think we need to ease up alittle bit and open up a little

(52:13):
bit, and while we're opening up,let others in.
Let them see what we're doing,assist others and break down
some of those silos that werenot truly put up by us.
That's right.

Speaker 4 (52:31):
But I think what's refreshing to see, though, is so
, when I connect with a lot ofthe children, younger people
that I mentee, the youngergeneration are that they embody
that.
They want to bring everybodyalong, they want to show me what
you're doing.
I will pull you with me, and Ilove that, because that shares
progress right.
That means that we are taking,I think, our generation.

(52:54):
It was a lot of what you justdescribed, but it's so
refreshing to see that theyounger generation are really
opening themselves up andwanting to bring people along
the journey with them and sharetheir experiences and break down
those barriers, and so we havea lot to look forward to Okay,
now I'm gonna go to the ladyright here and then I'm gonna
come to you.

Speaker 1 (53:14):
Chris, yeah, in the floor, yes, yes, good evening.

Speaker 9 (53:18):
I'm just okay, here we go.
I'm just so inspired and in aweand really grateful for all of
you.
Thank you so much for theinspiration.
I heard a lot of talk aboutbeing fearless, but as a
leadership coach, I often seethat human beings, you know,
we're wired to be afraid, we'rewired to be anxious, and so I

(53:41):
just wanted to normalize thatand then ask this question,
which is what is the thing thatyou were really scared about?
Your heart was racing, likemine is right now, has an
introvert, and you chose to becourageous and you did it anyway
.
And what's your next scarything that you're about to do?
And do it anyway so that we cansupport you.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
So before we answer that, I'm mindful of time, so
let me know the two women youwanna hear that from.

Speaker 9 (54:10):
Oh, okay, I definitely want to hear from
Tika and gosh.
I'm going to.
I know I'm gonna ask Jazz, Tikaand Jazz let's hear it it was
about, there it is yeah.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
Say that again.
Yeah, just yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
It was too.
It was too, it was too wrong.

Speaker 9 (54:36):
So what is the scariest thing that you've ever
done, that you chose to do, thatyou were brave about,
courageous about, and what isthe thing that really scares you
right now that you're holdingyourself back to do?
But it's your next big thing,so that we can support you there
.

Speaker 7 (54:53):
So I'm not.
I probably won't reveal my nextbig thing, but I'm scared every
day.
I literally am.
I'm scared all the time.
I'm scared every day of my job.
I don't feel like I know whatI'm doing, and then I do it, and
I do it and I'm like look at me, let me just do the thing.
I'm always afraid and I putmyself in scary situations.

(55:14):
I catapult, I go ahead before Ithink I'm qualified.
So I actually can't pin down apoint because I'm constantly
doing really scary things andnow it's just a part of my DNA.
I just go ahead, so, yeah, andthe next thing I do is gonna be

(55:34):
really scary and I'll call you,because you know, fear and
action, they can happen at thesame time and they should, right
, and so I don't think my actionis ever gonna be stopped
because of my fear.

(55:54):
Also, when you get and let's becareful with this when you do
fearful things and you see theresult, you're like, yeah,
dopamine, all right, let's dothat again.
That worked out right.
And so, yeah, I make it up,it's a practice.
So, yeah, I'm always I reallyam always afraid.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
Yeah, I love what you said about fear and the
movement, because I guess mydefinition of fear is not
feeling the rush of blood onyour face and whatever people
feel, like reapplying deodorant,like how have you got afraid,
but I think it's acknowledgingit, moving through it and still
doing the thing.
Fear doesn't mean you don't dothe thing.

(56:41):
Fear just means you feel it andyou do it anyway.
So in my practice I try my bestto not nestle in what we call
analysis paralysis.
I don't know your therapist, Idon't even want to feel like I'm
telling you what your job is.
So I'm trying my best to meetyou where you're at.
But the analysis paralysisthing I try to release that as

(57:01):
much as possible.
I don't know if it's justbecause we talked about it, but
I think again, the life stufffor me is I don't think it's
that scary, like you know,afraid to like, maybe put out a
recipe and maybe it doesn't workor you know but the life stuff
again, I'm a point girl, I'mjumping off, peak my whole life,
right, but for me I think itwas.
I honestly think, when I saw mybrother in the when you see him

(57:27):
before, what is it in the, inthe.
I was gonna say nursing homeJesus in the viewing.
In the viewing because the daftstuff is the woo-woo stuff that
no one's actually had.
If anyone's had experience withdaft he wouldn't be here, right
?
So I think it was just my heartwas pacing thinking about how I
would process it, what he wouldlook like, how that would work,

(57:48):
and I think that was thescariest thing that I did so far
in life form.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
I think she had.
Did you have anything coming up?
We wanted to, oh, you wanted tosupport you on.
Was the second wrong.

Speaker 2 (58:02):
Yeah, yeah, I think we talked about it on the show.
Yeah, something else, you know,yeah, something else, we talked
about it on the show.
You know I've been.
You know, the first time Ithink I mentioned it was on the
show.
It's like I wanna hit the worldstage, the world is mine.
Like I wanna be able to hitthat and you know, not have to
justify my why and not feel likeyou know, we create a hit every

(58:25):
other place if the magic's 60sides this island and this lady.
Like I wanna hit the globalstage.

Speaker 1 (58:32):
We're claiming it.
We claim Chelsea's score andshe's got it.

Speaker 2 (58:34):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
All right, so we have .
I'm sorry, maxi, where Kara?
Where am I?
Oh, karsten, here we go.
Hey, so my question's for you.
Deshae, we've seen the first 50and the culmination of that
tonight.
What's your dream for the next50?

Speaker 7 (58:50):
look like that's a good question.

Speaker 1 (58:53):
You're telling an excellent question, guys, not
about me, okay, yes, it is.
For me, the podcast is morphedinto telling these amazing
stories, right, like initially Ijust wanted to kind of
interview dope women that I hadin my life, and it's really
morphed into telling stories ofwomen, different things that are

(59:14):
very taboo to talk about,things, but also success stories
.
I think a lot of times as womenwe waddle in this woe is me and
I had to struggle to get to theother side, right, and I think
sometimes it's okay, not,sometimes it is okay to show
that one.
There is another side and thenthe other part of that is
getting us how women get to thatother side.
So, yes, you know theupbringings and you know your

(59:37):
whys and all that type of stuffare important.
But I wanna delve deeper intoyour story, right, and so the
next 50, you know we're gonnahave to ask Jesus about it.
But Honestly, I've thought aboutwho I'm gonna have on next and
I have some pretty big goals andtargets for that.
I want Hostelher to continue togrow locally.

(01:00:00):
I think it's been great.
I think I could do more andthen, with Alameda being on the
podcast, it's been theinternational reach has been
quite huge this past week, soincredibly overwhelmed but
grateful.
But I definitely wanna see somemore international guests come
on the podcast, for sure, andthen, being a space that you
know where, I'm using thepodcast to put the amazing women

(01:00:23):
that have been on the podcastand will be on the podcast on
that international stage fromthis international guest, hey,
nice, nice, and I think yeah, sothis will be our last question
who is my dad in the back?
Someone said my dad had aquestion.

(01:00:44):
Yeah, and then just also, youknow, for any of the men in the
room, I get asked constantlywhen is a man going to be on the
podcast?
Okay, so first things first.
Yes, it's coming, and the firstman that will be on my podcast
will be my dad for all this day.
So you heard it here for me.
All right, dad, go ahead.

Speaker 6 (01:01:05):
Travis is telling me, don't actually come First.
Let me say learn a way.
It's been a group of guys herethat we've been going back was
in Forts, and we are literallyspeechless.
I, too, had a little water inmy eye, a little onion cut, but
I mean, it literally has blownmy mind to listen to these
stories and, ladies, you havebeen amazing.

(01:01:31):
I see Power Girl right here, andso I know that there's a lot of
work to be done, and on theother side, we have so many
individuals that don't havethese powerful stories.
I'm with the Coalition forProtection of Children and we
just see so much Right, and Iwanna celebrate you, and I do

(01:01:53):
celebrate you, but how do wedeal with what we're seeing in
this country?
How are we dealing with theyoung ladies that do not have
these mentorships, that arecoming from these crazy spaces
that we're seeing manifestitself in so many different ways
?
I just want, for a few seconds,for us to have a conversation

(01:02:15):
around those people that wedon't talk about, but we have in
our families, we have in ourschools, we have in our world
and we just move around likethey just don't exist.

Speaker 1 (01:02:27):
Ladies and gentlemen, my father, Duane Keynes, he's
the heavy hitter.
I guess we'll start with Auntie.
Yeah, come on.

Speaker 3 (01:02:37):
Come on, come on.
Yes, start with Auntie.

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
Who ever?

Speaker 3 (01:02:41):
wants to go?
Who ever wants to go?
That's a good question, Duane,and it doesn't start with just
one person.
It starts with us all.
It starts with the man in themirror.

(01:03:01):
Everybody wants to say thisperson's responsible, that
person's responsible.
Everybody says the government'sresponsible for everything.
Wherever you live, thegovernment's responsible for
everything.
Right, not just Bermuda.
But it starts in the home, andthen it's the home, it's the

(01:03:23):
school, it's the workplace, it'sthe church, it's the sports
club.
We all have to take a stand, weall have to do better, and I
hate to say it because this isdefinitely shown in my age.
I think we need to get back tosome old-time standards.

(01:03:45):
Right, our standards areslipping, and now you can see it
.

Speaker 2 (01:03:54):
Yeah, I think a few things.
Ms Maxine say it, I mean, Ithink when you were talking I
just remember your posture waslike this when you were talking
about I think we were talkingabout why we can't assist other
people, and I think it reallydoes tie into Ms Keynes's
question.
But I do agree with you that Ithink some of the old school

(01:04:14):
stuff gets to come back.
But I think part of thatgeneration before us was all
about survival, and I think thisis exactly what you explain is
that if I'm surviving, I can'teven look to my left to figure
out who is not being observedand who is not being
acknowledged.
And that's why I always feellike the beautiful thing is that
we're in a time, more than ever, of healing.

(01:04:36):
People are aware that healingis a priority.
People in the companies who aredoing big things.
They have regular sessions withthe therapist because if you
cannot be who and if you cannotcome out of fight-and-flight, if
you're in fight-and-flightyou're looking at where's the
Nats dega, you're not looking athow to help jazz or whatever it
is.
So I think, the more that wecan come into that space of
again, you're working private,showing up in public, being able

(01:04:58):
to say that I'm not surviving.
You ask someone on a regularbasis are you doing?
I can't complain.
Ah, that's probably not wherewe wanna be right, like we wanna
complain so we can get it right, or we need to get in the gym,
or what we need to do, causecomplaining sometimes allows the
like, the laundry, to be airedout, right, but it says, not
complaining, I ain't getting a,say cause it's not gonna change.

(01:05:19):
Yeah, I need you to take withit's this ideation where we're
outsourced responsibility.
I learned that somewhere wecan't outsource responsibility
outsource but I'll get it thenext time.
It's like in that space ofhealing we're able to
acknowledge and say, oh my gosh,I just stepped over someone's
leg and I just crushed the ankleLike I need to make sure.

(01:05:41):
Right Back to Mr Keynes'question you know I get to be in
a space of actually processingfeelings.
I know sometimes, even with theearl school, I know that, at
least with my nana, feelings wasnot even.
They weren't even valid,weren't even valid.
You feel what, put Vaseline onit and go on right, it was
Vaseline.
All of what we feel and how weprocess, and the children now

(01:06:04):
that talk about it, and it's abeautiful space to be in, and
that's why I think it's a bit oftit and tat.
It's a bit of bringing the earlschool back but also
recognizing that we're in a timenow more of healing than in any
time ever and that we can usethat to our advantage to
actually come out of fight andflight and to come into feeling
and rest and rest and relax, toactually see what's happening
around us.
Yeah, APPLAUSE.

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
Anyone else want to address my dad's question?

Speaker 4 (01:06:33):
So I sit on the board of the Coalition for the
Protection of Children with yourdad.
We were closer together withone dad, yeah, laughter, but,
you know, just reflecting onthis conversation.
So, to start back with ourgrandparents, they were a lot
closer to this struggle, right.
And so, as we now, you know,are professionals we, you know,

(01:06:54):
are all leaders in ourrespective fields we tend to get
a little farther away from thisstruggle, right, and this, you
know, society, where things arenot as simple as they can be for
us, right, and I'm very awareof the fact that we are very
blessed, we are very fortunateto be where we are.
We have access to thingseducation, our children have

(01:07:15):
access to education that, youknow, some will never be able to
have.
So it's important that we, youknow, for our children, right,
that we keep them grounded inhow blessed they really are and
that they now need to pay thatforward, because everyone
doesn't have the sameopportunities as you, right?
And so it's really, reallyimportant that you know the only

(01:07:35):
way we're going to be able tokeep focused on those issues
that others are going through isif we keep focused on that in
our own households, right, andmake sure that we're aware of it
, that we're charitably, youknow, giving, making ourselves
available for those initiativesand those types of things so
that we can make a difference inthe community.
I think that's really important.

Speaker 5 (01:07:57):
I would just say that it will start from you too.
Sometimes, like for me, I'vebeen living, I was living in
America for a long time and it'sbeautiful when I come back
because what I do is I sometimeseven, like in my
entrepreneurial journey, Irealize sometimes the things
that we think we need, we don'tand we have things right in our
fingertips.
So for me, I know that thisgeneration is, you know, filled

(01:08:19):
with like it's a social mediaera.
So what I do and how I try togive back and like I'm back now,
so I could probably do more,but I've used my platform more
than ever to just give out freegame, free knowledge, and so
I've had a lot of youngentrepreneurs or young people
just trying to figure out likewhat is this?
I can do this too, and thenjust open that for dialogue
because it's a social media, andthen they tell their friends

(01:08:40):
and then it's all of a messagein you, or you see them in town
and they want to talk andconnect.
So sometimes they think, likewe just use what we have to try
to make a difference.

Speaker 1 (01:08:49):
Yeah, I actually also want to add to that.
I think we have the opportunityto and I'm going back to that
word advocacy, right, sometimesthere's a lot of people in our
lives that are put inenvironments that they're not
ready for.
Right To my dad's point, aroundthere's just a lot in this
country that goes on, but wedon't talk about things that we
don't say.
And then sometimes theseyounger people come into these

(01:09:12):
environments, especiallyprofessional environments, and
they're not actually not surewhat to do right, or they don't
know how to act, or they don'tknow the correct things to say,
or their accent is too raw, orwhatever that may or may not
look like.
And what I think we have to thendo is one advocate for these
people, for the young ones thatare coming up.
Also, give them grace.
A lot of people need a graceright.
And that's second.

(01:09:32):
Yes, working hard is importantand, yes, being smart and having
your education, all thosethings are important, but
everyone's going to make amistake and I think sometimes we
have this oh, shut it off, andwe're not going to give that
person the chance again.
And so I think having thatgrace and giving that part
telling them where they wentwrong, I think one of the best
things I learned growing up Iwas not growing up, but was in

(01:09:53):
when I had my first job and Imade a rookie error and you know
the dragging through the curlsthat I got in that with that
error I will never forget itright, but that was an advocacy
in the meeting covering menumber one, but then letting me
know what I did wrong so I neverdid it again.
I think that's key.
And then, secondly, a lot oftimes we give to charitable

(01:10:13):
organizations but we're notreally in the thick of what
those organizations are doingright, Exactly.
So I think giving back to thesecharities is definitely
important, but also volunteeringof your times.
Your times absolutely soincredibly important and giving
not just okay, great, we want totake a photo and let's put it
up on the road because that leteverybody see that we donated

(01:10:35):
and we did X, y and Z.
But those children that were apart of that charity, those
elders that needed that supportfinancially, they also want you
to come and talk to them.
They also want you to be therefor them.
So I think that part of goingback into our communities like
we all are great, we all doingamazing things, but going into
those communities that some ofus came from, you know what I

(01:10:56):
mean it's, I think, morevaluable than sometimes those
financial contracts.

Speaker 8 (01:10:59):
Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, yeah,
absolutely.

Speaker 1 (01:11:04):
Absolutely All right, guys.
So we're a little over, butfirst of all, thank you, ladies.
So much for your time tonight.
Thank you, thank you, and thankyou all of you for coming this
evening.
I genuinely, genuinely,genuinely appreciate it.
My nerves are settled, so,finally, right.
So I'm very grateful foreveryone who's here this evening

(01:11:25):
and, before I just sign off forthe live recording, all of my
previous guests that have beenon the podcast before.
If you guys could just come onstage after this, I want to get
a photo with everyone, and thenmy family as well.
You guys who just say I justwant to get a photo of you guys
too.
So thank you everyone who washere this evening.
I really appreciate you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank

(01:11:50):
you.
All right guys.
So you have joined me for the50th episode of Hustle Heart
Podcast and I'm incredibly full.
I'm very thankful.
Thank you for spending sometime with me today and, as
always, thank you for watchingHustle Heart Podcast.
Yeah, yay, yeah, yay, yay, yay,thank you 286.