November 17, 2023 • 45 mins
Have you ever wondered what it takes to cultivate resilience in the face of life-altering adversity? This episode will surely pique your curiosity as we uncover the life of Kim Roberts, an inspiring entrepreneur and author, who transformed personal hardship into a beacon of hope. Together, we will venture into her entrepreneurial journey, her favorite food, and even her celebrity crush!
Delving into the depths of Kim's life, we unmask her battle with incarceration and how she repurposed this adversity into a personal transformation. We talk about the important role of transparency in her life, her work on the parole board and her relentless fight for inmate rights and rehabilitation. Kim's reflections on her journey, captured in a candid conversation, are sure to inspire you and make you look at adversity in a new light.
As we conclude our journey with Kim, her faith and resilience shine through the darkest moments of her life. Kim shares her aspirations, the solace she finds in her family, and the guiding force of her faith in shaping her future. Join us as we dive into Kim's incredible story of transformation—from being an inmate to becoming the Chair of the Treatment Offenders Board—and get inspired by her unwavering resilience and triumph.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
It's time for hustle her podcast.
I'm your host, deshae Keynes.
Hustle her is all aboutinspiring women through real
life experiences that havehelped to mold and develop not
only me but my guests into theentrepreneurs and leaders we are
today.
If you're an enterprising womandetermined to succeed and
(00:22):
looking for a bit of motivation,a bit of tough love and some
actionable takeaways to be thebest you girl, you are in the
right place.
Hey guys, and welcome back tohustle her podcast.
Thank you for spending sometime with me here today.
As always, we want to thank abig thank you to our season
(00:43):
sponsors, brown and company and59 front.
Make sure you guys head over toour website, hustle her
podcastcom.
You can check out all thebehind the scenes of the episode
.
You can also hit the blog, guys, and tell me what you think
about this episode, alwaysinterested in your perspectives
or maybe some of the things thatyou want to know about that.
I didn't act, so make sure youhead over there and, you know,
engage with me on the websiteand on all of our other
(01:06):
platforms.
Today I'm super excited about mynext guest.
Not only is she someone whoI've pretty much known all my
life, but also she's really goodfriend of the family.
She is an entrepreneur and anauthor the amazing miss Kim
rubber.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you for being here.
I love this blazer color, bythe way.
(01:26):
Thank you, very nice, itmatches the hat.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You'll get it at the end of the episode.
Little between my colors ofblack.
Because you know they say,black takes slow slow, slow slow
tampons that you pick up oncamera.
That's what it is.
Yeah, there you go, it's allright.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
We take podcasting seriously here with LDS
multimedia.
So you know I totallyunderstand.
You know quality is very goodand that's what we proud of.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
So all right.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
So we're going to ask a few questions.
First thing that comes to mind,let me know, and we'll go from
there.
Cool, all right.
If it's something you can thinkof, no problem.
That's an ax one, all right.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I'm happiest when I'm happiest when I can be in a
quiet place there's a lot ofnoise at work or fully engaged
with clients as well as us ascolleagues.
At home it's a lot of noise.
My husband actually likes tohave the TV blaring upstairs and
downstairs, so when it's quiet,it's peaceful, I can just
(02:27):
breathe.
And also when I'm eating.
I love food, I'm a real foodie,so I am very happy when I'm
eating.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Okay, so what's your favorite dish to cook then?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I don't particularly have a favorite.
My friend, my house salesfavorite is like spaghetti and
meat sauce, macaroni and cheese,barbecue chicken, that sorts of
things.
I try and stay away from theseafood to real buy that.
I don't have that down yet butwe all love seafood so yeah, I
don't have a particular favorite.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
All right, all right, talk me through what you do to
keep your skin looking so greatyour skincare routine.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Interesting Vaseline Really.
Yeah, I'm awful, I put whateveris in the shower shower gels.
I did, for a minute, buy aproduct line from Nyland, I
think it's Atera.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Have you heard of her Right?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
So no, no, no, she has an amazing line.
I actually purchased her linefor our kids bar Okay, but I
used her line for a bit, whichwas really really nice.
I ran out and I'm not a realbig cosmetic person, so I do
need a reorder.
But yeah, whatever I get myhands on.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Okay, all right.
Who is your closest friend,best friend?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
My closest friend.
Now, that's a difficult onebecause I have a large friend
group right.
I really do in different areas.
As of now, I would say mydaughter.
She's 18.
Now that's really my bestie.
Tanika Adams and Nicole DeShields are known to be my
closest friends for the longesttime, but there are others that
(04:08):
are near and dear to my heart aswell.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yes, okay, all right.
What does love feel like?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Love, feeling appreciated, respected.
I'm big on action, speak louderthan words.
So you can say it, but ifyou're not showing it in action,
I'll question it.
But yeah, pretty much beingkind, it being reciprocal, good
spoke face.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
What's a hidden talent?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
A hidden talent.
Well, as of 2019, the hiddentalent became a writing skill
that I had, new idea that I had,and Leticia Washington was
instrumental in pulling that outof me.
So, outside of that, yeah, I'mpretty creative and innovative
when it comes to business.
I've been blessed in havingseveral of those.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Some succeeded other students.
Yeah, that's entrepreneurship,though, right.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Exactly, picking up and doing it again is the best
part.
That's to be fearless.
Yes, exactly Okay.
What are you listening to rightnow?
Music wise.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Yes, nothing.
Maybe whatever might be on theradio.
Okay, yeah, I tend if I gowalking.
I've tried to pick up walkingagain.
I never, really last past twoweeks.
I don't know what it is, but Iwould throw on gospel Spotify.
You know, one of my clientsdownloaded some gospel music.
So did your cat.
It gets one of my.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I love him yeah, favorite gospel artist so.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I blast him, Mary Mary.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah, okay, all right .
And who is your celebrity crush?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Easy, easy one.
If I didn't say this, myhusband would raise his eyebrow
More chess not hands down.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Okay, okay, yeah, mars is a good looking yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
That's my guy.
He's dark like my husband.
Yeah, you know, he's got alittle sway.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
I love it.
I love it.
Okay.
And then, finally, judgmentwill be head.
But who is your cart mash team?
I have to say Summer's Sands.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Okay, what's wrong with that?
That's a good answer.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Absolutely, Because that's that's not touchy with
that.
Don't be strong, but that's theright thing, like what religion
do you have.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
That was an argument.
No, no, no.
This is Summer's Sandshousehold, except for Lara.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Yeah, lara's not a Summer's Sands fan.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
She has not seen the light, but that's okay.
Come on ever, girl Convert.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
There you go, there you go.
It's all right, we won't gointo that today, but maybe
another time, all right, okay.
So tell me about young Kim.
What did you want to be growingup?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Interesting question, and this has never changed.
I always wanted to be amortician.
Really I really did, and when Iattended BI, you know we had
that work release program goingon.
They couldn't place me.
I don't know whether it wasbecause of age or what, but I
ended up being stuck inButterfield Bank filing.
I hated it, I disliked it.
(06:58):
Rather, I don't know what youwere at hate, but they didn't
pan out for me.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yeah, so what, what?
What about, I guess, mortician?
What drew you to that?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I don't know, that's just what always came to mind.
I don't know if I wasfascinated when I went to
funerals or wakes and justseeing how they really looked
like they were just sleeping.
I'm not a very fearful person,so I didn't think I had to
concern myself of being afraidif I was in that environment.
But I just always wanted to dothat and it just yeah, has that
(07:29):
ever gone away?
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Would that be something you would still do if
you had the opportunity now?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I think I think it went away.
I yeah, I think it definitelywent away.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
So walk me through how you became an entrepreneur.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Well, I fell into that.
Ironically enough, afterleaving two years of Fisher
College, I came home.
My hope was to transfer toNorth East University.
I had a few acquaintances thatattended there.
I became familiar with thecampus when I got home.
I knew that that was going tobe difficult because my mom was
a single mom and she was alreadyworking two jobs to pay for the
(08:03):
two years.
But when I returned home, myfather, the late Clifford
Burgess.
He had two boutiques, one withhis wife and another one that he
had opened on his own, and hejust handed me the keys.
He was just like here, if youwant it, you can have it.
And entrepreneur was born.
Entrepreneur was born, yeah.
(08:23):
He took me to New York and weran the streets of the retail
district the job was at the time, introduced me to everyone and
just taught me about the bankingpart and what it took, and then
he technically disappeared.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Was he ready to go at ?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
that time, yeah, I was like do a dices.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, there you go.
So what type of clothing didyou sell in that store?
So we saw trendy clothing.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
And if you remember, like Mary Garand Back in the day
no, your parents will probablyknow Mary Garand Oak Tree.
You remember Oak Tree?
No, oh my gosh, I'm showing myage, that's okay.
But you know, we had all thetrendy, trendy clothing.
We were really, really busy cutmatch Christmas we had.
(09:16):
I did majority of the buyingbut I did have a young man that
accompanied me with that.
So we had bought our booth,bought a twist, so we were able
to be very lucrative.
There weren't many businessesaround during that time.
It wasn't a competitive, wecertainly didn't have online
shopping, so we did extremelywell in that era, nice.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
But your mom is also an entrepreneur as well, right?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
She is.
My mom became an entrepreneurlate in life.
She always worked at.
It was at St Brandon's at thetime she ran the house keeping
department.
She was also an educator at theBermuda College in the
hospitality area, and she toojust had a turn of events.
She was like I'm going tobarbering school.
Then she took up a lot ofcourses.
Yeah, that was it, but shehadn't always been an
(10:02):
entrepreneur, okay.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
So how would you say your parents kind of shaped you
into like the woman you aretoday, like those foundational,
like traits and skills andvalues?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
I believe my mom played more of a role because I
was raised in a single-parenthome.
My dad was not always around.
Then he was.
I guess he did what he couldand I can't really attribute any
skills outside of the businessskills.
But my mom being asingle-parent, obviously they
always want the best for you, sothey instill sending you to
(10:36):
Sunday school, just ensuringthat you stay on track.
She imparted as much wisdom asshe possibly could, but I had a
mind of my own and I was alsoraised with an elderly couple
Saragut on uncle so theyimparted a lot of wisdom and
took great care of me Fantasticsummers, those sorts of things.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
So I guess with the first business, with the
clothing store, obviously yourdad kind of gave you the keys to
that, but how has that morphedinto the entrepreneur that you
are today in the differentbusinesses?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I think I'm just an alien entrepreneur.
I jump in with both feet.
I listen to people in theindustry.
I turn not to overthink things.
I really don't.
If an idea pops in my head, Ijust go and do it.
I'm like a do or die type ofperson.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Okay, and what are some of the businesses that you
currently have?
Because more than just one, noright, it's currently two.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
So we have the salon, calm salon.
I've had that for about 17years.
We do more of a rental.
Cheer Dental commission isdefinitely an opportunity to
allow young women to come in andhone in on their skills.
I tend to share more of thebusiness side because most
presidents want to open up theirown business eventually, so I
give them the dos and don'ts andI just mentor them in that way.
(11:54):
It's been amazing and wanted tohave actually opened their own
businesses since which I thenhave the kids bar along with my
husband and my daughter.
The kids bar is actually thebrainchild of my daughter.
She was eight.
That goes 11 years.
October 26th.
That's a lot of fun.
We have a team of six.
They rotate.
(12:14):
Sometimes I have the hill sixon.
We might have an external orinternal party, and that also
allows us to facilitate offeringcamps to young girls across the
island as well as etiquettecamps in the past.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Nice.
So what would you say is yourfavorite part of the
entrepreneurial process?
What do you love the most aboutit?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I love the most having the freedom to make my
own time and my own decisions.
First and foremost, I love theautonomy of being able to be
creative.
I'm very creative, so if I wantto change something or move in
another direction, it gives methe freedom to do that.
And I also love that I canshare my experiences with other
(12:55):
people.
I have people that call I'm anopen book, I don't hold anything
back.
You want to know something?
I'm going to give it to you.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yeah, I think that's really important.
I think a lot of times when webecome entrepreneurs, especially
people think that we're tryingto compete with them or things
like that.
People can be very they call itgatekeeping right With
information.
I think helping people is alsoreally important because there's
so much I mean, lara and Ispeak about this all the time
like things you learn on the flyas an entrepreneur, especially
the business side of it tooright.
(13:24):
Or, if something happens, how todeal with people, encouraging
people and giving them thatknowledge is really important.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Because not everyone knows and not everyone has
anyone they can go to Exactly Tokind of access questions.
And it comes back when you give, it comes back.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
I just see the multiplication in my life, the
favor that's upon my life.
As a result, I've always beenwilling to help and to give.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Mm.
So in 2019, and you know, afterreading your bio and you know,
learned a bit more about youthings I didn't know in 2019,
you decided to take a course.
What was they tell me about thecourse and what made you kind
of want to do that?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Yeah, so what happened was I was turning 50.
And you know, life could get alittle complacent, a little
boring.
So I said anything that I seethat I'm interested in, I'm just
going to go take it, I'm goingto go do it, I'm going to
explore it.
So I saw the 16 weeks topublish and pop up.
I was familiar with theinstructor.
She at one point was mydaughter's school counselor, so
(14:25):
I trusted that she would beoffering something interesting.
And, yeah, I registered.
I think it was about eight ofus in the class.
Now what happened?
As you would know, I didn'tread the fine print, which is
why I couldn't find thislocation today, ha ha, ha ha.
So I didn't read the fine printand when I arrived, I learned
the first session that theintention was to actually
publish a novel In 16 weeks and,of course, I was like no
(14:49):
negative.
I don't even know how to writeLike this is absurd.
And so everyone around thetable obviously was aware.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
They read the fine print.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
And yeah, so again, me being the person that just
jumped in with Bofi, I waspretty much the underdog in the
class, right?
I'm always the underdog, so Ialways root for underdogs.
Always it's just in me.
But I ended up being the onlyone in the class to publish
within 16 weeks.
Both novels can be found onAmazon.
(15:19):
They did relatively well inbookstores here in Bermuda One.
They sing second on the toplocal sellers list, the Bermuda
Anna Magazine.
At the time I was pleasantlysurprised when I received that
call and that's what happened.
So obviously I didn't know whatI was gonna write about because
, again, I didn't have that gift, but I had a story that I had
(15:41):
lived and it was very easy topay in.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Absolutely so.
I guess in the first book,which is shamefully discreet,
right you speak about a lot ofyour life, essentially your life
journey, and you had somepivotal moments in your life
that obviously, with what theword pivotal means, essentially
pointed you in differentdirections.
Like, walk me through some ofthose things that happened in
(16:05):
your life.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Okay, Well, the most pivotal moment was being
incarcerated for a drug offense.
That was a defining moment forme because, technically, going
back to your initial question,how was I raised?
What was instilled in me?
Those values certainly weren'tinstilled with me, which means
(16:27):
it was a choice.
I was.
I was very mischievous andinquisitive and daring and brave
, yeah.
So I found myself doing thingsthat just piqued my curiosity.
So, as a result, I wassentenced to do time and it was
then that it truly came to light.
(16:50):
That came.
This is not who you were raisedto be.
You had no business being here.
You are not a victim, you are avictimizer.
And a defining moment for mewas being locked in a cell with
a young woman who was goingthrough with jaws, well,
chronically sick.
And I remember smashing my noseagainst the window because she
(17:13):
was sick and no one had come toher aid.
And I remember saying to myselfyou did that, you were
responsible for that, well, andyou are never to be a part of
that lifestyle again, yeah, wellthat's, that's significant.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
And how do you get to the point where you accept that
, like, I was the one who didthat, you're not the victim in
this situation?
Like, how do you get to thatpoint?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Well, I think I had to just recognize that I had to
own my role in it.
I had to own it.
No one forced me, no one held agun to my head, and as time
progressed, I started to work onmyself and make the necessary
changes, because I was thisperson to the public, but I was
a different person.
(18:00):
Behind Clays Doors, not manypeople knew who that person is.
I strongly believe that youonly know a person by what they
show you.
It's no fault of the otherpersons if they get it wrong.
That's what I want you to know.
So I'm going to leave certaindetails about myself out.
However, I had my son at thetime.
He was 15 when I was actuallysent in, so I had to recognize
(18:22):
that.
You know you need to be betterand do better.
You need to be more humiliatedand embarrass your mother, first
and foremost, my stepfather atthe time.
Both of them were raising myson and I had a really, really
great friend group.
So of course, they wereembarrassed and just confused at
who this person was and Ineeded to just realign myself,
(18:46):
you know.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
So you said something that I'm actually quite
interested is you said you onlyallow people to see one side of
you.
So in that aspect, you knewthat what you were doing was
wrong, but you didn't want thepeople around you to know about
it.
Why was that there?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Well, again, my friend group are well
accomplished.
You know they're good people,Of course.
For one, had I told them, I waseven contemplating that I would
like know.
I'll march up behind two policestations, including my mother.
So I knew that they weren'tpeople that I could have
divulged that information to you.
(19:21):
They wouldn't have stood for it.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
But in that moment, you know, when you were making
this decision, what was goingthrough your mind around it, Was
it?
You know what was it?
Was it a quick something to doright then and there, or was it,
you know, you just weren'tthinking.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
No, I was thinking, yeah, I was thinking.
I think in the instance of whatthe actual reason for being
incarcerated?
I was attached to someone elsethat needed a favor.
Right Time was ticking for them.
Why they came to me was becausethey knew that I knew persons
(20:00):
in that world, so it was more ofthat for me.
It was never really about money.
Money is no big thing to me.
I can make that legally.
It wasn't about prestige,because I am a kind of behind
the scenes type of person.
It was just to help them.
I just was like okay, let mejust put some contact with these
people and get this done foryou.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
So you can get out of here.
It was more of that Gotcha,okay, because I don't think
people always understand thatside of it.
Right, like the why in themoment of it, and that's just
why I kind of wanted to accept.
But so you're incarcerated now,right, and how?
Walk me through how that isLike.
What is it like beingincarcerated?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Well, first and foremost, I think it's different
for everyone.
It depends on what mental spaceyou're in.
It depends First and foremost,or rather you're even willing to
accept responsibility.
A lot of people are in denial.
I didn't seek to cast a blame.
My case was tied to a lot ofpeople, even family.
For a long time I was like youbetrayed me, you betrayed me,
(21:03):
you betrayed me, and I thenbegan to shift my mindset and
say well, guess what, if youdidn't involve them to begin
with, there would have been noreason to be betrayed.
So you need to take fullownership of this.
But for me, I wasn't there verylong.
When I compared to a lot offemales that I did do time with,
I was very fortunate.
(21:24):
God has continued to have Hishand of favor upon me, because I
certainly should have gotten alot lengthier sentence.
When I got there, I was placedin a kitchen relatively quickly.
That most almost two, threeweeks.
So that takes up a bulk of yourtime.
Yep, early, it's breakfast, youtake a nap, so you're there all
day.
You get to have the freedom ofwhat you want to eat.
(21:45):
There were 30 plus women backat that time.
Everyone relatively got alongwell, to be honest and I
shouldn't be saying this at onepoint.
I used to write to family andfriends and I used to put at the
head in I used to put fairyreach resort or something like
that because we were goingswimming fairy reach the climate
(22:09):
of women at that time.
We're just there, I'm gonna domy time, we're not gonna make
waves.
So we received privileges as aresult, got it.
There were times where fightsdid happen on the odd occasion,
but that never came my way.
I just steered clear of thatsort of thing and had a really
good supportive work From theofficers as well as the young
(22:31):
ladies that I did time it.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Yeah, and during that time you said you took
immediately you didn't happenimmediately, sorry where you
felt like you took the ownershipfor what happened and your
involvement in it and notnecessarily feeling betrayed,
but what you did Like.
When did that kind of happen?
When did that kind ofacknowledgement of this is what
I did wrong kind of happen?
(22:52):
Was it while you wereincarcerated, or did this happen
post that, I think?
Speaker 2 (22:57):
it happened, probably towards the end, because of
course, you go through thatseries of emotions you're angry,
you're hurt.
You just can't even fathom howcertain people would have
betrayed you.
So it was a process for me, itwas a spiritual journey.
For me, it was a lot ofreflecting and having
conversations with people,whether it was a case worker or
(23:18):
officer, or even another youngwoman serving time.
You tend to kind of put thepieces out of puzzle right.
In order to rehabilitate andheal, you do have to take
ownership of where you putyourself and I think that's what
helps you to evolve and, moreimportantly, if you have a
supportive family so while theydon't condone your behavior,
(23:38):
they still love youunconditionally.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I think that's the key, that's the big part, right.
Like knowing that they don'tcondone it, but they're still
here for me, for the supportivepart of it.
And that had to have beenreally helpful during the time
you were incarcerated.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Oh yeah, that was huge, I mean, even if I remember
my sentence, indeed, thecourtroom was packed Magistrates
.
I had a pastor that was thelate Reverend Ronald Smith was
always by my side.
My parents were there, myreally really good friends, even
some that had positions in likeimmigration or police.
They were there because, again,they knew that came and they
(24:12):
were still trying to figure outwho was dispossessed and why is
she here, right, right.
So, yeah, they still buy me andI had a lot of respect.
They probably had one or twopeople that distanced themselves
from me and it hurt, but Iunderstood it.
You know, when we raise ourchildren we tend to say you know
, don't hang around her, youknow she's a bad influence on
(24:33):
you.
So I got it, but the supportwas overwhelming.
I always had amazing support.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah, which?
Yeah, that's a really goodthing to have, cause sometimes
people go into what you wentthrough essentially and people
kind of leave them you know whatI mean.
And that can be very isolatedon top of being isolated, sure.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
You know what I?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
mean yes.
So yeah, that's gotta be verydifficult.
So you finish, you serve your,you know your sentence and you
finish.
How do you?
What happened post that?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
So, upon my release, I wasn't able to work at my
business, which my parents andthe manager had sustained for me
during that period.
That was a kind of a realcondition, so I had to seek
employment.
I remember having an interviewat Chris's.
I was telling one of themanagers today, I do his hair,
you guys didn't even give me thejob and I was like they're lost
(25:28):
.
But that was any interview Idid.
However, my aunt worked atCedar Bridge Academy and Arnie
Payette was the principal at thetime and they needed a
receptionist.
So my aunt was like I know justthe person.
And, yeah, I started two weeksafter being released and I was
there for seven years.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yeah, and how did that?
How was that time for you postthat being at Cedar Bridge?
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Yeah, it was a little odd because of course you have
the naysayers and I understoodit.
You know you had educators thatwere a bit concerned that a
felon was in the building.
I didn't have direct contactwith the students but I was able
to converse with them and dealwith them on some level.
So I always had to ensure thatI kept my nose clean.
(26:15):
I mean, I used to rememberbeing a little antsy about if
money went missing.
I'll be the first one that theyaccused right, and he's to tell
my boss listen, I'm not a thief, I do not steal.
But you know I had thoseconcerns.
And then of course the buzz didgo around.
So you did have students thatwould come and say Mrs Steve at
the time, mrs Steve, I heard youwas and you know of course I'm
(26:36):
going to answer them.
But as time evolved, everyonegot to know me, everyone was
able to be put at ease and, yeah, I had a great time there.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Yeah that's good, you know, obviously.
I know Cedar Bridge, I'm well,but I guess you mentioned
something just now that I kindof want to go back into a little
bit around people's perceptionof you post.
You know, being incarcerated.
How do you manage that?
Because the minute someonehears that someone's being
incarcerated, they automaticallythink the worst.
I think.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
And very rarely do you think rehabilitation or a
different mindset, like we seethese things, but very rarely do
people have that train ofthought.
So how do you deal with that?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
For me.
I tend to let things just rolloff my back.
I'm really, really strong whenit comes to these things that
attack me.
If it has to do with mychildren, my husband or family,
I am like I'll scratch youreyeballs out.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
You know, I will cry.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I will be furious, but I have thick skin and I
think that once people made ittheir business to get to know me
that it was a thing of the past.
So I think I was able tonavigate through it relatively
well.
Sometimes it hurt because youknow you always had the
naysayers say oh, you know, theydon't really like you Well they
think of this and I'm just likeI don't know what to do.
(27:57):
But I need this job, yeah, ifnot, I could go back.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So I developed in receiving a number of positions
being there.
I worked my way through.
I didn't stay on the receptiondesk very long and I had a great
experience.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
That's cool.
So when we spoke, when Iinitially actually be on the
podcast, and you were like, canwe just chat first?
And you said you know, Deshae,I'm an open book.
You said my husband, my family,my children know my story, so I
have no shame in what happenedto me.
Like, how did you get to thatpoint?
Like, especially with thefamily piece of it, right,
(28:33):
Because when I don't know whatit's like to have children, but
from a child's perspective, youknow.
You said you had your son atthe time.
Like how do you get to a pointwhere it's like you're an open
book with your kids, to wherethe point you're comfortable
enough to share?
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Interesting question.
Yes, well, with my husband.
First and foremost, he knewabout my past because we were
set up on a blind date and afriend of his knew about me, so
of course he was just likelisten, you're the girl you're
getting with my husband wasn'tnew.
Obviously, I'm more 20 years,married last month, right.
So he knew what he was gettinghimself into and the first date
(29:08):
I gave him, step by step, whathappened and who I was For my
children.
My son was, like I said, 15 atthe time, so he didn't know.
You know, he didn't remember,and it was never really brought
up around him until very late,as a result of my children being
told and given the full story.
(29:30):
That was as a result of mewriting the book, because I had
to have their permission inorder to release it.
Although it was published asrealistic fiction, I had the
interviews where I alluded tothe fact that the content was
real life, based on real lifestories.
So, because I am the personthat I am today, my children are
(29:53):
like, oh, I don't care.
And then sometimes I was likewho are you?
You know, they'll even joke.
If I'm like, listen, youshouldn't do that, like that,
that's not something you shoulddo.
Oh, you, the drug dealer.
You know that's he joking.
And I'm like, come on, that'snot fair.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
That's not fair 27, 30 years ago, right.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Yes, but I get it oh gosh, I get it.
Yeah, but they're resilient.
We are very close as a family.
I tell my children everything.
I like to think that they dothe same.
I offer them a safe place.
I always let them know that Ineed to know how to protect you,
so I need to know who youreally are.
Knowing how I live, I need toknow who you are inside and
(30:34):
outside of the house.
So we're all very transparent.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
And what's your parents as well, as far as Like
meaning, like what I was sayingin the beginning, around being
comfortable enough for yourfamily to know who you are and
then sharing it Like with yourmom.
Like did you get?
Because I know you said sheprobably felt ashamed with
everything that- happened so yougot past that.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah, we did.
I mean, I had to go through the.
Are you stupid, like?
Why did you do that?
You know, I went through that,of course, because they had to
release how they were feeling,but they maintained being very
supportive.
Yeah, and I can't say that weever really talked about it in
(31:17):
depth, not with my parents, butI guess the way that I showed up
gave them security that Iwasn't going in that direction
anymore.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Yeah, absolutely Okay , but I guess it's a really full
circle, right, Because now youknow you're, are you the chair
of the treatment offenders onboard?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
now I am the chair.
Yes, I currently need the chair.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
That's so amazing, right, like you had did
something you know you did thetime for it and now, as I think,
2021, you are now on thetreatment offenders board.
Like what does that entail, andhow does that feel, knowing
your past and then being in thisposition now?
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Yeah, it's surreal because, first and foremost, I
didn't even need treatment ofoffenders board existed until I
received a call to one of thefrom one of the former ministers
of national security you mightknow who that is and that
conversation was like I want youto join this board and first
I'm like what board?
Like what?
I don't even understand.
So once I I received anunderstanding in depth from the
(32:20):
former chair, she was like Iwant you to join this board.
I think you'll be a great fit.
It worked out because when wemeet I'm off, so it was a
no-brainer.
I said okay, well, let me try itoff.
I have the flexibility and onceI joined I was like wow, I kind
of remember these days was whathappened?
Was they the treatment ofoffenders board in the parole
(32:43):
were two and one and then theysplit.
I was familiar with thefunctioning of the parole board
because I had been be formedtwice.
So I got a clearerunderstanding of what their
mandate was and once I joined Ilearned that there are
independent board, of course,made up of members from the
community.
Our mandate is to ensure thatthe young women and men are
(33:08):
treated fairly and that theirhuman, their basic human rights
are met.
We also adjudicate, so we actas like a mini court for
internal infractions, and thatbecomes a little sticky because
the inmates are like you'resupposed to be here for our
support but yet you adjudicate.
But that's what we're taskedwith.
We also have interviews.
(33:30):
If they have any concerns thatthey need our assistance with,
they come in and interview withus and we do our best to remedy
that situation.
And the last pieces, that weconduct road visits where we go
inside the facility every month.
So we'll do a tour of thefacility to just make sure that
the structure is suitable fortheir living conditions, as well
(33:51):
as engage with any person thatwishes to speak with us.
So we do that.
It's an interesting task.
It can be very, very emotionalbecause I'm sure you're aware
it's a younger population nowand predominantly men because,
as we stand as of today, thereare only three women and, like I
(34:12):
said earlier, there were 30plus back in my day and I'm like
, wow, this is a massiveimprovement, but our males
continue to be a driving forceof.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
So when you're dealing with people who are
incarcerated, or do you setaside what you went through, or
is that a factor in how you dealwith them?
I mean, I'm sure it is, but howis that?
Speaker 2 (34:41):
It's a balance, because I can't identify to some
degree.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
As.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I always say the incarceration of a male is far
different than of a female in myopinion, however, sometimes you
can because of my experienceyou can see through what they
are conveying.
And then there are other timesI get it, particularly when it's
cases where it's them againstthe officer and we always feel
(35:08):
like we have to tow the line andtake the word of the officer.
But I had first handexperiences with officers that
were treated me unfairly and insome cases it was mentally
abusive.
So I knew that it happened andI draw off of that.
Sometimes I have to take a stepback and I say that can happen
because it happened to me Right.
(35:30):
So I have to be careful becauseI wanna be fair.
I also like to always assureadministration that it's not us
against them, but our priorityis the inmate.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
That's our first priority.
Yeah, and I think that'snecessary.
They deserve advocacyregardless of the offense that
they committed, and I know thatthat can be very taboo in saying
that, but you know that inmatesare still humans, right?
Speaker 2 (35:58):
And they have human rights.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
And I didn't realize what the treatment of offenders
for did until you just explainedit, but it's good to know that
it's someone looking out forinmates and making sure that
they are being treated fairly,because not everyone in jail are
these.
They have or they had aoffensive that were that
egregious.
You know what I mean.
(36:20):
So everyone deserves to betreated like a human, though.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Absolutely Everyone wants to see change, no matter
how heinous the crime.
I wholeheartedly believe thatpeople can change.
They just need to be given theresources, they need to have the
support and, when it comes downto that parole period, they
need to be given the opportunity.
And I get that entrepreneursare a bit afraid or not very
(36:50):
concerned, but they havefamilies.
A lot of these men havechildren that they want to be
able to support and it'simportant that we allow them to
make their way.
If they mess up, it's on them,yeah, but to not be given the
opportunity actually robs themof their hope.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, absolutely you need the hope, especially when
you're in a situation like thatwhere you are incarcerated.
That hope is probably one ofthe few things that kind of get
you through right.
It's not the only thing,exactly, yeah, because you've
lost the right to your freedom,right to do anything.
So I can only imagine beinghopeless in that as well.
You have nothing to lose atthat point.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
And that can be detrimental for people that is
also incarcerated with them.
I assume yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
And you made a really good point, because sometimes
they come up to us to interviewand it becomes a vent in session
and you have one or two memberslike, okay, you need to just
cut that off and I'm like, no, Iwould rather they vent and cry
and kick and scream here a placeto go in, down into the unit
and assaulting another person toinclude an officer.
(38:01):
So no, we are gonna stay hereas long as it takes for them to
get it off their chest andhopefully we can reassure them
that we can assist them.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I think it's amazing and I think it was a really good
call for you to be a part ofthat board, because sometimes
people are and this doesn't takeaway from their knowledge
around things but having thatfirsthand experience and
advocating is one thing, butadvocating from a space of I
know what that person is goingthrough.
It's gotta be a different formof advocacy.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
I believe so.
Yeah, I have to.
I believe so and I believe thatI am there for a reason because
, again, I didn't seek it.
I, after probably about ninemonths, I was appointed deputy
chair and then, several monthsafter that, I was appointed
chair.
It happened very quickly, yeah,and again I didn't ask for it.
It's sort of after me and Iaccepted the opportunity and as
(38:55):
long as the minister would haveme, I will be there to serve.
Even if I was removed as chair,I will continue to serve.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
That's a calling Like , that's something that you know
you've been calling your lifeto give back in that way and
that's how you know, by based onthe fact that you would still
wanna do that.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Sort of everything that you've kind of been through
and you've learned and theplaces that you, you know, have
been and come fromentrepreneurship, being
incarcerated, being a mom, beinga wife, all of those things
Like what has been the greatestlearning, I guess, point in your
life.
What have you gotten from allof that?
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Well, I've received a great deal.
I mean, I just believe I'mtruly blessed.
I sometimes feel like I havethe entire package A successful
marriage, 20 years.
I have two amazing young people.
I think my kids are really,really nice people.
I like them.
Some people don't like theirchildren.
They love them but they don'tlike them.
(39:52):
They're well mannered, they'recharismatic, they're kind,
they're giving.
The entrepreneurial piece hasbeen a blessing.
Again, I can beat my own drum.
While I believe there are prosand cons to working for someone
else, right, you can walk in thedoor and lose your job today,
but your business could alsofood as a result of I don't know
(40:16):
something, the pandemic, somepeople didn't survive that.
So we just have to appreciatewhere we are and enjoy the
moment and continue to be better.
I always pride myself on justwhat's for me won't pass me.
I truly believe that I got thatfrom my grandmother.
She always said that and italways pans out that way because
(40:38):
sometimes some do a shot.
But as a whole, I've justreceived that.
I am thankful.
I'm thankful and elated thatthe experiences that have been
afforded me have come my way,yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
I love that All right .
Well, I mean, it's crazy howtime flies.
But everyone, this lastquestion that I asked all of my
guests before they leave thecouch is you know, and it's I
love that.
You know you had thisexperiences that you've gone
through in your life and it'snot a traditional path, but of
everything that you've beenthrough, like what is something
that you want to be rememberedfor.
(41:14):
I always say this you knowyou're no longer on the planet.
A long time from now, touchwood a long time from now, and
people mention your name, likewhat do you want them to say
about you?
Speaker 2 (41:26):
That's a little question, I think.
First and foremost, I wish tobe remembered as being candid
but tactful.
I believe in holding peopleaccountable.
I believe that you do them adisservice if you don't allow
them to accept or own theirresponsibilities.
(41:46):
I wish to be remembered as agood listener.
I believe it's best to listenmore than to speak.
People want to be heard.
They don't always want orseeking your advice, they just
want to be heard.
I love to be remembered forbeing an amazing mom, although
that's a question for mychildren.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
I think you got that one down.
I know your song say yes.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
I pride myself on being a great mother and a great
wife and a community person.
I love to give finances my time.
I always make time for people.
I take advantage of theseopportunities where I'm quiet
and I'm like listen, let me callthis person and just check in
and say hello, do you needanything, are you okay?
(42:31):
I am everyone's biggestcheerleader.
I love to validate andencourage people.
So those are the final thingsthat I love to be remembered for
.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
That's amazing.
Okay, and you have two booksshamefully discreet and
overcoming betrayal.
If anyone wants to buy thoseand read them, where can they do
that?
Speaker 2 (42:50):
They can currently find them on Amazon.
I no longer bring them in.
I ran through that period ofwhere they were offered at Brown
and Co people's pharmacy.
My mom sold a whole bunch ofthem out of her business.
But at this time you candownload it on your Kindle or
you can purchase a hot copy andtab it mail to you.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Perfect, amazing.
Okay, and give me how canpeople get in contact with you
if they wanted to partake ineither of your businesses?
Speaker 2 (43:16):
I can be contacted.
My email is mixmeekscom, orthey can contact me through the
Kitspa on 292-4257.
And it's probably the best waysof contacting me.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Perfect, all right, well, thank you so much for
sending some time to me todayand trusting me to share that
story on the platform.
I really appreciate you beingwilling to do that.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Thank you for having me.
You were amazing.
I did trust that you were goingto present in the way and form
a fashion that you did.
I was very comfortable.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
And certainly you later to be here.
Thank you, all right.
All right, guys.
We just had an amazing, amazingepisode with the amazing Kim
Roberts also known to me all mylife as An Kim who came and she
shared her story with us.
She was very vulnerable aboutthe things that she's been
through in her life and how sheturned her life around and
basically is on the other sideof that.
If you want to learn more abouther or read more about her, her
(44:15):
journey and everything she wentthrough in her life, she has
two books the ShamefullyDiscrete as well as Overcoming
Betrayal that you can find onAmazon, and you can get the
e-version or you can get thehard copy mailed to you.
So make sure you head overthere and support the two books
that she currently has.
As always, make sure you headover to the website
hostileheartpodcastcom, whereyou can see the show notes about
(44:37):
this episode.
You can also check out the blog, where you can give me some
feedback on the episode.
Tell me what you thought.
I love to hear all of yourfeedback about the episode that
you just watched and or listenedto, depending on the platform
that you're on.
Also, sign up to be a VIPlistener so you can get some of
our amazing giveaways that wehave coming out From our great
sponsors from this season BrownCompany, as well as 59 Front.
(45:00):
As always, guys, thank you forspending some time with me today
watching Hustle Her Podcast.
It's time for hustle her podcast.
I'm your host, deshae Keynes.
Hustle her is all aboutinspiring women through real
life experiences that havehelped to mold and develop not
only me but my guests into theentrepreneurs and leaders we are
today.
If you're an enterprising womandetermined to succeed and
(00:22):
looking for a bit of motivation,a bit of tough love and some
actionable takeaways to be thebest you girl, you are in the
right place.
Hey guys, and welcome back tohustle her podcast.
Thank you for spending sometime with me here today.
As always, we want to thank abig thank you to our season
(00:43):
sponsors, brown and company and59 front.
Make sure you guys head over toour website, hustle her
podcastcom.
You can check out all thebehind the scenes of the episode
.
You can also hit the blog, guys, and tell me what you think
about this episode, alwaysinterested in your perspectives
or maybe some of the things thatyou want to know about that.
I didn't act, so make sure youhead over there and, you know,
engage with me on the websiteand on all of our other
(01:06):
platforms.
Today I'm super excited about mynext guest.
Not only is she someone whoI've pretty much known all my
life, but also she's really goodfriend of the family.
She is an entrepreneur and anauthor the amazing miss Kim
rubber.
Thank you for having me.
Thank you for being here.
I love this blazer color, bythe way.
(01:26):
Thank you, very nice, itmatches the hat.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You'll get it at the end of the episode.
Little between my colors ofblack.
Because you know they say,black takes slow slow, slow slow
tampons that you pick up oncamera.
That's what it is.
Yeah, there you go, it's allright.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
We take podcasting seriously here with LDS
multimedia.
So you know I totallyunderstand.
You know quality is very goodand that's what we proud of.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
So all right.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
So we're going to ask a few questions.
First thing that comes to mind,let me know, and we'll go from
there.
Cool, all right.
If it's something you can thinkof, no problem.
That's an ax one, all right.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
I'm happiest when I'm happiest when I can be in a
quiet place there's a lot ofnoise at work or fully engaged
with clients as well as us ascolleagues.
At home it's a lot of noise.
My husband actually likes tohave the TV blaring upstairs and
downstairs, so when it's quiet,it's peaceful, I can just
(02:27):
breathe.
And also when I'm eating.
I love food, I'm a real foodie,so I am very happy when I'm
eating.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Okay, so what's your favorite dish to cook then?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I don't particularly have a favorite.
My friend, my house salesfavorite is like spaghetti and
meat sauce, macaroni and cheese,barbecue chicken, that sorts of
things.
I try and stay away from theseafood to real buy that.
I don't have that down yet butwe all love seafood so yeah, I
don't have a particular favorite.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
All right, all right, talk me through what you do to
keep your skin looking so greatyour skincare routine.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Interesting Vaseline Really.
Yeah, I'm awful, I put whateveris in the shower shower gels.
I did, for a minute, buy aproduct line from Nyland, I
think it's Atera.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Have you heard of her Right?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
So no, no, no, she has an amazing line.
I actually purchased her linefor our kids bar Okay, but I
used her line for a bit, whichwas really really nice.
I ran out and I'm not a realbig cosmetic person, so I do
need a reorder.
But yeah, whatever I get myhands on.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Okay, all right.
Who is your closest friend,best friend?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
My closest friend.
Now, that's a difficult onebecause I have a large friend
group right.
I really do in different areas.
As of now, I would say mydaughter.
She's 18.
Now that's really my bestie.
Tanika Adams and Nicole DeShields are known to be my
closest friends for the longesttime, but there are others that
(04:08):
are near and dear to my heart aswell.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yes, okay, all right.
What does love feel like?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Love, feeling appreciated, respected.
I'm big on action, speak louderthan words.
So you can say it, but ifyou're not showing it in action,
I'll question it.
But yeah, pretty much beingkind, it being reciprocal, good
spoke face.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
What's a hidden talent?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
A hidden talent.
Well, as of 2019, the hiddentalent became a writing skill
that I had, new idea that I had,and Leticia Washington was
instrumental in pulling that outof me.
So, outside of that, yeah, I'mpretty creative and innovative
when it comes to business.
I've been blessed in havingseveral of those.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Some succeeded other students.
Yeah, that's entrepreneurship,though, right.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Exactly, picking up and doing it again is the best
part.
That's to be fearless.
Yes, exactly Okay.
What are you listening to rightnow?
Music wise.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Yes, nothing.
Maybe whatever might be on theradio.
Okay, yeah, I tend if I gowalking.
I've tried to pick up walkingagain.
I never, really last past twoweeks.
I don't know what it is, but Iwould throw on gospel Spotify.
You know, one of my clientsdownloaded some gospel music.
So did your cat.
It gets one of my.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I love him yeah, favorite gospel artist so.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I blast him, Mary Mary.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Yeah, okay, all right .
And who is your celebrity crush?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Easy, easy one.
If I didn't say this, myhusband would raise his eyebrow
More chess not hands down.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Okay, okay, yeah, mars is a good looking yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
That's my guy.
He's dark like my husband.
Yeah, you know, he's got alittle sway.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
I love it.
I love it.
Okay.
And then, finally, judgmentwill be head.
But who is your cart mash team?
I have to say Summer's Sands.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
Okay, what's wrong with that?
That's a good answer.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Absolutely, Because that's that's not touchy with
that.
Don't be strong, but that's theright thing, like what religion
do you have.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
That was an argument.
No, no, no.
This is Summer's Sandshousehold, except for Lara.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Yeah, lara's not a Summer's Sands fan.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
She has not seen the light, but that's okay.
Come on ever, girl Convert.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
There you go, there you go.
It's all right, we won't gointo that today, but maybe
another time, all right, okay.
So tell me about young Kim.
What did you want to be growingup?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Interesting question, and this has never changed.
I always wanted to be amortician.
Really I really did, and when Iattended BI, you know we had
that work release program goingon.
They couldn't place me.
I don't know whether it wasbecause of age or what, but I
ended up being stuck inButterfield Bank filing.
I hated it, I disliked it.
(06:58):
Rather, I don't know what youwere at hate, but they didn't
pan out for me.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Yeah, so what, what?
What about, I guess, mortician?
What drew you to that?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I don't know, that's just what always came to mind.
I don't know if I wasfascinated when I went to
funerals or wakes and justseeing how they really looked
like they were just sleeping.
I'm not a very fearful person,so I didn't think I had to
concern myself of being afraidif I was in that environment.
But I just always wanted to dothat and it just yeah, has that
(07:29):
ever gone away?
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Would that be something you would still do if
you had the opportunity now?
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I think I think it went away.
I yeah, I think it definitelywent away.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
So walk me through how you became an entrepreneur.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Well, I fell into that.
Ironically enough, afterleaving two years of Fisher
College, I came home.
My hope was to transfer toNorth East University.
I had a few acquaintances thatattended there.
I became familiar with thecampus when I got home.
I knew that that was going tobe difficult because my mom was
a single mom and she was alreadyworking two jobs to pay for the
(08:03):
two years.
But when I returned home, myfather, the late Clifford
Burgess.
He had two boutiques, one withhis wife and another one that he
had opened on his own, and hejust handed me the keys.
He was just like here, if youwant it, you can have it.
And entrepreneur was born.
Entrepreneur was born, yeah.
(08:23):
He took me to New York and weran the streets of the retail
district the job was at the time, introduced me to everyone and
just taught me about the bankingpart and what it took, and then
he technically disappeared.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Was he ready to go at ?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
that time, yeah, I was like do a dices.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, there you go.
So what type of clothing didyou sell in that store?
So we saw trendy clothing.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
And if you remember, like Mary Garand Back in the day
no, your parents will probablyknow Mary Garand Oak Tree.
You remember Oak Tree?
No, oh my gosh, I'm showing myage, that's okay.
But you know, we had all thetrendy, trendy clothing.
We were really, really busy cutmatch Christmas we had.
(09:16):
I did majority of the buyingbut I did have a young man that
accompanied me with that.
So we had bought our booth,bought a twist, so we were able
to be very lucrative.
There weren't many businessesaround during that time.
It wasn't a competitive, wecertainly didn't have online
shopping, so we did extremelywell in that era, nice.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
But your mom is also an entrepreneur as well, right?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
She is.
My mom became an entrepreneurlate in life.
She always worked at.
It was at St Brandon's at thetime she ran the house keeping
department.
She was also an educator at theBermuda College in the
hospitality area, and she toojust had a turn of events.
She was like I'm going tobarbering school.
Then she took up a lot ofcourses.
Yeah, that was it, but shehadn't always been an
(10:02):
entrepreneur, okay.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
So how would you say your parents kind of shaped you
into like the woman you aretoday, like those foundational,
like traits and skills andvalues?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
I believe my mom played more of a role because I
was raised in a single-parenthome.
My dad was not always around.
Then he was.
I guess he did what he couldand I can't really attribute any
skills outside of the businessskills.
But my mom being asingle-parent, obviously they
always want the best for you, sothey instill sending you to
(10:36):
Sunday school, just ensuringthat you stay on track.
She imparted as much wisdom asshe possibly could, but I had a
mind of my own and I was alsoraised with an elderly couple
Saragut on uncle so theyimparted a lot of wisdom and
took great care of me Fantasticsummers, those sorts of things.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
So I guess with the first business, with the
clothing store, obviously yourdad kind of gave you the keys to
that, but how has that morphedinto the entrepreneur that you
are today in the differentbusinesses?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
I think I'm just an alien entrepreneur.
I jump in with both feet.
I listen to people in theindustry.
I turn not to overthink things.
I really don't.
If an idea pops in my head, Ijust go and do it.
I'm like a do or die type ofperson.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Okay, and what are some of the businesses that you
currently have?
Because more than just one, noright, it's currently two.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
So we have the salon, calm salon.
I've had that for about 17years.
We do more of a rental.
Cheer Dental commission isdefinitely an opportunity to
allow young women to come in andhone in on their skills.
I tend to share more of thebusiness side because most
presidents want to open up theirown business eventually, so I
give them the dos and don'ts andI just mentor them in that way.
(11:54):
It's been amazing and wanted tohave actually opened their own
businesses since which I thenhave the kids bar along with my
husband and my daughter.
The kids bar is actually thebrainchild of my daughter.
She was eight.
That goes 11 years.
October 26th.
That's a lot of fun.
We have a team of six.
They rotate.
(12:14):
Sometimes I have the hill sixon.
We might have an external orinternal party, and that also
allows us to facilitate offeringcamps to young girls across the
island as well as etiquettecamps in the past.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Nice.
So what would you say is yourfavorite part of the
entrepreneurial process?
What do you love the most aboutit?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
I love the most having the freedom to make my
own time and my own decisions.
First and foremost, I love theautonomy of being able to be
creative.
I'm very creative, so if I wantto change something or move in
another direction, it gives methe freedom to do that.
And I also love that I canshare my experiences with other
(12:55):
people.
I have people that call I'm anopen book, I don't hold anything
back.
You want to know something?
I'm going to give it to you.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Yeah, I think that's really important.
I think a lot of times when webecome entrepreneurs, especially
people think that we're tryingto compete with them or things
like that.
People can be very they call itgatekeeping right With
information.
I think helping people is alsoreally important because there's
so much I mean, lara and Ispeak about this all the time
like things you learn on the flyas an entrepreneur, especially
the business side of it tooright.
(13:24):
Or, if something happens, how todeal with people, encouraging
people and giving them thatknowledge is really important.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Because not everyone knows and not everyone has
anyone they can go to Exactly Tokind of access questions.
And it comes back when you give, it comes back.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
I just see the multiplication in my life, the
favor that's upon my life.
As a result, I've always beenwilling to help and to give.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Mm.
So in 2019, and you know, afterreading your bio and you know,
learned a bit more about youthings I didn't know in 2019,
you decided to take a course.
What was they tell me about thecourse and what made you kind
of want to do that?
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Yeah, so what happened was I was turning 50.
And you know, life could get alittle complacent, a little
boring.
So I said anything that I seethat I'm interested in, I'm just
going to go take it, I'm goingto go do it, I'm going to
explore it.
So I saw the 16 weeks topublish and pop up.
I was familiar with theinstructor.
She at one point was mydaughter's school counselor, so
(14:25):
I trusted that she would beoffering something interesting.
And, yeah, I registered.
I think it was about eight ofus in the class.
Now what happened?
As you would know, I didn'tread the fine print, which is
why I couldn't find thislocation today, ha ha, ha ha.
So I didn't read the fine printand when I arrived, I learned
the first session that theintention was to actually
publish a novel In 16 weeks and,of course, I was like no
(14:49):
negative.
I don't even know how to writeLike this is absurd.
And so everyone around thetable obviously was aware.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
They read the fine print.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
And yeah, so again, me being the person that just
jumped in with Bofi, I waspretty much the underdog in the
class, right?
I'm always the underdog, so Ialways root for underdogs.
Always it's just in me.
But I ended up being the onlyone in the class to publish
within 16 weeks.
Both novels can be found onAmazon.
(15:19):
They did relatively well inbookstores here in Bermuda One.
They sing second on the toplocal sellers list, the Bermuda
Anna Magazine.
At the time I was pleasantlysurprised when I received that
call and that's what happened.
So obviously I didn't know whatI was gonna write about because
, again, I didn't have that gift, but I had a story that I had
(15:41):
lived and it was very easy topay in.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Absolutely so.
I guess in the first book,which is shamefully discreet,
right you speak about a lot ofyour life, essentially your life
journey, and you had somepivotal moments in your life
that obviously, with what theword pivotal means, essentially
pointed you in differentdirections.
Like, walk me through some ofthose things that happened in
(16:05):
your life.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Okay, Well, the most pivotal moment was being
incarcerated for a drug offense.
That was a defining moment forme because, technically, going
back to your initial question,how was I raised?
What was instilled in me?
Those values certainly weren'tinstilled with me, which means
(16:27):
it was a choice.
I was.
I was very mischievous andinquisitive and daring and brave
, yeah.
So I found myself doing thingsthat just piqued my curiosity.
So, as a result, I wassentenced to do time and it was
then that it truly came to light.
(16:50):
That came.
This is not who you were raisedto be.
You had no business being here.
You are not a victim, you are avictimizer.
And a defining moment for mewas being locked in a cell with
a young woman who was goingthrough with jaws, well,
chronically sick.
And I remember smashing my noseagainst the window because she
(17:13):
was sick and no one had come toher aid.
And I remember saying to myselfyou did that, you were
responsible for that, well, andyou are never to be a part of
that lifestyle again, yeah, wellthat's, that's significant.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
And how do you get to the point where you accept that
, like, I was the one who didthat, you're not the victim in
this situation?
Like, how do you get to thatpoint?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
Well, I think I had to just recognize that I had to
own my role in it.
I had to own it.
No one forced me, no one held agun to my head, and as time
progressed, I started to work onmyself and make the necessary
changes, because I was thisperson to the public, but I was
a different person.
(18:00):
Behind Clays Doors, not manypeople knew who that person is.
I strongly believe that youonly know a person by what they
show you.
It's no fault of the otherpersons if they get it wrong.
That's what I want you to know.
So I'm going to leave certaindetails about myself out.
However, I had my son at thetime.
He was 15 when I was actuallysent in, so I had to recognize
(18:22):
that.
You know you need to be betterand do better.
You need to be more humiliatedand embarrass your mother, first
and foremost, my stepfather atthe time.
Both of them were raising myson and I had a really, really
great friend group.
So of course, they wereembarrassed and just confused at
who this person was and Ineeded to just realign myself,
(18:46):
you know.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
So you said something that I'm actually quite
interested is you said you onlyallow people to see one side of
you.
So in that aspect, you knewthat what you were doing was
wrong, but you didn't want thepeople around you to know about
it.
Why was that there?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Well, again, my friend group are well
accomplished.
You know they're good people,Of course.
For one, had I told them, I waseven contemplating that I would
like know.
I'll march up behind two policestations, including my mother.
So I knew that they weren'tpeople that I could have
divulged that information to you.
(19:21):
They wouldn't have stood for it.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
But in that moment, you know, when you were making
this decision, what was goingthrough your mind around it, Was
it?
You know what was it?
Was it a quick something to doright then and there, or was it,
you know, you just weren'tthinking.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
No, I was thinking, yeah, I was thinking.
I think in the instance of whatthe actual reason for being
incarcerated?
I was attached to someone elsethat needed a favor.
Right Time was ticking for them.
Why they came to me was becausethey knew that I knew persons
(20:00):
in that world, so it was more ofthat for me.
It was never really about money.
Money is no big thing to me.
I can make that legally.
It wasn't about prestige,because I am a kind of behind
the scenes type of person.
It was just to help them.
I just was like okay, let mejust put some contact with these
people and get this done foryou.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
So you can get out of here.
It was more of that Gotcha,okay, because I don't think
people always understand thatside of it.
Right, like the why in themoment of it, and that's just
why I kind of wanted to accept.
But so you're incarcerated now,right, and how?
Walk me through how that isLike.
What is it like beingincarcerated?
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Well, first and foremost, I think it's different
for everyone.
It depends on what mental spaceyou're in.
It depends First and foremost,or rather you're even willing to
accept responsibility.
A lot of people are in denial.
I didn't seek to cast a blame.
My case was tied to a lot ofpeople, even family.
For a long time I was like youbetrayed me, you betrayed me,
(21:03):
you betrayed me, and I thenbegan to shift my mindset and
say well, guess what, if youdidn't involve them to begin
with, there would have been noreason to be betrayed.
So you need to take fullownership of this.
But for me, I wasn't there verylong.
When I compared to a lot offemales that I did do time with,
I was very fortunate.
(21:24):
God has continued to have Hishand of favor upon me, because I
certainly should have gotten alot lengthier sentence.
When I got there, I was placedin a kitchen relatively quickly.
That most almost two, threeweeks.
So that takes up a bulk of yourtime.
Yep, early, it's breakfast, youtake a nap, so you're there all
day.
You get to have the freedom ofwhat you want to eat.
(21:45):
There were 30 plus women backat that time.
Everyone relatively got alongwell, to be honest and I
shouldn't be saying this at onepoint.
I used to write to family andfriends and I used to put at the
head in I used to put fairyreach resort or something like
that because we were goingswimming fairy reach the climate
(22:09):
of women at that time.
We're just there, I'm gonna domy time, we're not gonna make
waves.
So we received privileges as aresult, got it.
There were times where fightsdid happen on the odd occasion,
but that never came my way.
I just steered clear of thatsort of thing and had a really
good supportive work From theofficers as well as the young
(22:31):
ladies that I did time it.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Yeah, and during that time you said you took
immediately you didn't happenimmediately, sorry where you
felt like you took the ownershipfor what happened and your
involvement in it and notnecessarily feeling betrayed,
but what you did Like.
When did that kind of happen?
When did that kind ofacknowledgement of this is what
I did wrong kind of happen?
(22:52):
Was it while you wereincarcerated, or did this happen
post that, I think?
Speaker 2 (22:57):
it happened, probably towards the end, because of
course, you go through thatseries of emotions you're angry,
you're hurt.
You just can't even fathom howcertain people would have
betrayed you.
So it was a process for me, itwas a spiritual journey.
For me, it was a lot ofreflecting and having
conversations with people,whether it was a case worker or
(23:18):
officer, or even another youngwoman serving time.
You tend to kind of put thepieces out of puzzle right.
In order to rehabilitate andheal, you do have to take
ownership of where you putyourself and I think that's what
helps you to evolve and, moreimportantly, if you have a
supportive family so while theydon't condone your behavior,
(23:38):
they still love youunconditionally.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I think that's the key, that's the big part, right.
Like knowing that they don'tcondone it, but they're still
here for me, for the supportivepart of it.
And that had to have beenreally helpful during the time
you were incarcerated.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Oh yeah, that was huge, I mean, even if I remember
my sentence, indeed, thecourtroom was packed Magistrates
.
I had a pastor that was thelate Reverend Ronald Smith was
always by my side.
My parents were there, myreally really good friends, even
some that had positions in likeimmigration or police.
They were there because, again,they knew that came and they
(24:12):
were still trying to figure outwho was dispossessed and why is
she here, right, right.
So, yeah, they still buy me andI had a lot of respect.
They probably had one or twopeople that distanced themselves
from me and it hurt, but Iunderstood it.
You know, when we raise ourchildren we tend to say you know
, don't hang around her, youknow she's a bad influence on
(24:33):
you.
So I got it, but the supportwas overwhelming.
I always had amazing support.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah, which?
Yeah, that's a really goodthing to have, cause sometimes
people go into what you wentthrough essentially and people
kind of leave them you know whatI mean.
And that can be very isolatedon top of being isolated, sure.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
You know what I?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
mean yes.
So yeah, that's gotta be verydifficult.
So you finish, you serve your,you know your sentence and you
finish.
How do you?
What happened post that?
Speaker 2 (25:05):
So, upon my release, I wasn't able to work at my
business, which my parents andthe manager had sustained for me
during that period.
That was a kind of a realcondition, so I had to seek
employment.
I remember having an interviewat Chris's.
I was telling one of themanagers today, I do his hair,
you guys didn't even give me thejob and I was like they're lost
(25:28):
.
But that was any interview Idid.
However, my aunt worked atCedar Bridge Academy and Arnie
Payette was the principal at thetime and they needed a
receptionist.
So my aunt was like I know justthe person.
And, yeah, I started two weeksafter being released and I was
there for seven years.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Yeah, and how did that?
How was that time for you postthat being at Cedar Bridge?
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Yeah, it was a little odd because of course you have
the naysayers and I understoodit.
You know you had educators thatwere a bit concerned that a
felon was in the building.
I didn't have direct contactwith the students but I was able
to converse with them and dealwith them on some level.
So I always had to ensure thatI kept my nose clean.
(26:15):
I mean, I used to rememberbeing a little antsy about if
money went missing.
I'll be the first one that theyaccused right, and he's to tell
my boss listen, I'm not a thief, I do not steal.
But you know I had thoseconcerns.
And then of course the buzz didgo around.
So you did have students thatwould come and say Mrs Steve at
the time, mrs Steve, I heard youwas and you know of course I'm
(26:36):
going to answer them.
But as time evolved, everyonegot to know me, everyone was
able to be put at ease and, yeah, I had a great time there.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
Yeah that's good, you know, obviously.
I know Cedar Bridge, I'm well,but I guess you mentioned
something just now that I kindof want to go back into a little
bit around people's perceptionof you post.
You know, being incarcerated.
How do you manage that?
Because the minute someonehears that someone's being
incarcerated, they automaticallythink the worst.
I think.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
And very rarely do you think rehabilitation or a
different mindset, like we seethese things, but very rarely do
people have that train ofthought.
So how do you deal with that?
Speaker 2 (27:20):
For me.
I tend to let things just rolloff my back.
I'm really, really strong whenit comes to these things that
attack me.
If it has to do with mychildren, my husband or family,
I am like I'll scratch youreyeballs out.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
You know, I will cry.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I will be furious, but I have thick skin and I
think that once people made ittheir business to get to know me
that it was a thing of the past.
So I think I was able tonavigate through it relatively
well.
Sometimes it hurt because youknow you always had the
naysayers say oh, you know, theydon't really like you Well they
think of this and I'm just likeI don't know what to do.
(27:57):
But I need this job, yeah, ifnot, I could go back.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So I developed in receiving a number of positions
being there.
I worked my way through.
I didn't stay on the receptiondesk very long and I had a great
experience.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
That's cool.
So when we spoke, when Iinitially actually be on the
podcast, and you were like, canwe just chat first?
And you said you know, Deshae,I'm an open book.
You said my husband, my family,my children know my story, so I
have no shame in what happenedto me.
Like, how did you get to thatpoint?
Like, especially with thefamily piece of it, right,
(28:33):
Because when I don't know whatit's like to have children, but
from a child's perspective, youknow.
You said you had your son atthe time.
Like how do you get to a pointwhere it's like you're an open
book with your kids, to wherethe point you're comfortable
enough to share?
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Interesting question.
Yes, well, with my husband.
First and foremost, he knewabout my past because we were
set up on a blind date and afriend of his knew about me, so
of course he was just likelisten, you're the girl you're
getting with my husband wasn'tnew.
Obviously, I'm more 20 years,married last month, right.
So he knew what he was gettinghimself into and the first date
(29:08):
I gave him, step by step, whathappened and who I was For my
children.
My son was, like I said, 15 atthe time, so he didn't know.
You know, he didn't remember,and it was never really brought
up around him until very late,as a result of my children being
told and given the full story.
(29:30):
That was as a result of mewriting the book, because I had
to have their permission inorder to release it.
Although it was published asrealistic fiction, I had the
interviews where I alluded tothe fact that the content was
real life, based on real lifestories.
So, because I am the personthat I am today, my children are
(29:53):
like, oh, I don't care.
And then sometimes I was likewho are you?
You know, they'll even joke.
If I'm like, listen, youshouldn't do that, like that,
that's not something you shoulddo.
Oh, you, the drug dealer.
You know that's he joking.
And I'm like, come on, that'snot fair.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
That's not fair 27, 30 years ago, right.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
Yes, but I get it oh gosh, I get it.
Yeah, but they're resilient.
We are very close as a family.
I tell my children everything.
I like to think that they dothe same.
I offer them a safe place.
I always let them know that Ineed to know how to protect you,
so I need to know who youreally are.
Knowing how I live, I need toknow who you are inside and
(30:34):
outside of the house.
So we're all very transparent.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
And what's your parents as well, as far as Like
meaning, like what I was sayingin the beginning, around being
comfortable enough for yourfamily to know who you are and
then sharing it Like with yourmom.
Like did you get?
Because I know you said sheprobably felt ashamed with
everything that- happened so yougot past that.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Yeah, we did.
I mean, I had to go through the.
Are you stupid, like?
Why did you do that?
You know, I went through that,of course, because they had to
release how they were feeling,but they maintained being very
supportive.
Yeah, and I can't say that weever really talked about it in
(31:17):
depth, not with my parents, butI guess the way that I showed up
gave them security that Iwasn't going in that direction
anymore.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Yeah, absolutely Okay , but I guess it's a really full
circle, right, Because now youknow you're, are you the chair
of the treatment offenders onboard?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
now I am the chair.
Yes, I currently need the chair.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
That's so amazing, right, like you had did
something you know you did thetime for it and now, as I think,
2021, you are now on thetreatment offenders board.
Like what does that entail, andhow does that feel, knowing
your past and then being in thisposition now?
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Yeah, it's surreal because, first and foremost, I
didn't even need treatment ofoffenders board existed until I
received a call to one of thefrom one of the former ministers
of national security you mightknow who that is and that
conversation was like I want youto join this board and first
I'm like what board?
Like what?
I don't even understand.
So once I I received anunderstanding in depth from the
(32:20):
former chair, she was like Iwant you to join this board.
I think you'll be a great fit.
It worked out because when wemeet I'm off, so it was a
no-brainer.
I said okay, well, let me try itoff.
I have the flexibility and onceI joined I was like wow, I kind
of remember these days was whathappened?
Was they the treatment ofoffenders board in the parole
(32:43):
were two and one and then theysplit.
I was familiar with thefunctioning of the parole board
because I had been be formedtwice.
So I got a clearerunderstanding of what their
mandate was and once I joined Ilearned that there are
independent board, of course,made up of members from the
community.
Our mandate is to ensure thatthe young women and men are
(33:08):
treated fairly and that theirhuman, their basic human rights
are met.
We also adjudicate, so we actas like a mini court for
internal infractions, and thatbecomes a little sticky because
the inmates are like you'resupposed to be here for our
support but yet you adjudicate.
But that's what we're taskedwith.
We also have interviews.
(33:30):
If they have any concerns thatthey need our assistance with,
they come in and interview withus and we do our best to remedy
that situation.
And the last pieces, that weconduct road visits where we go
inside the facility every month.
So we'll do a tour of thefacility to just make sure that
the structure is suitable fortheir living conditions, as well
(33:51):
as engage with any person thatwishes to speak with us.
So we do that.
It's an interesting task.
It can be very, very emotionalbecause I'm sure you're aware
it's a younger population nowand predominantly men because,
as we stand as of today, thereare only three women and, like I
(34:12):
said earlier, there were 30plus back in my day and I'm like
, wow, this is a massiveimprovement, but our males
continue to be a driving forceof.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
So when you're dealing with people who are
incarcerated, or do you setaside what you went through, or
is that a factor in how you dealwith them?
I mean, I'm sure it is, but howis that?
Speaker 2 (34:41):
It's a balance, because I can't identify to some
degree.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
As.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
I always say the incarceration of a male is far
different than of a female in myopinion, however, sometimes you
can because of my experienceyou can see through what they
are conveying.
And then there are other timesI get it, particularly when it's
cases where it's them againstthe officer and we always feel
(35:08):
like we have to tow the line andtake the word of the officer.
But I had first handexperiences with officers that
were treated me unfairly and insome cases it was mentally
abusive.
So I knew that it happened andI draw off of that.
Sometimes I have to take a stepback and I say that can happen
because it happened to me Right.
(35:30):
So I have to be careful becauseI wanna be fair.
I also like to always assureadministration that it's not us
against them, but our priorityis the inmate.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
That's our first priority.
Yeah, and I think that'snecessary.
They deserve advocacyregardless of the offense that
they committed, and I know thatthat can be very taboo in saying
that, but you know that inmatesare still humans, right?
Speaker 2 (35:58):
And they have human rights.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
And I didn't realize what the treatment of offenders
for did until you just explainedit, but it's good to know that
it's someone looking out forinmates and making sure that
they are being treated fairly,because not everyone in jail are
these.
They have or they had aoffensive that were that
egregious.
You know what I mean.
(36:20):
So everyone deserves to betreated like a human, though.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Absolutely Everyone wants to see change, no matter
how heinous the crime.
I wholeheartedly believe thatpeople can change.
They just need to be given theresources, they need to have the
support and, when it comes downto that parole period, they
need to be given the opportunity.
And I get that entrepreneursare a bit afraid or not very
(36:50):
concerned, but they havefamilies.
A lot of these men havechildren that they want to be
able to support and it'simportant that we allow them to
make their way.
If they mess up, it's on them,yeah, but to not be given the
opportunity actually robs themof their hope.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, absolutely you need the hope, especially when
you're in a situation like thatwhere you are incarcerated.
That hope is probably one ofthe few things that kind of get
you through right.
It's not the only thing,exactly, yeah, because you've
lost the right to your freedom,right to do anything.
So I can only imagine beinghopeless in that as well.
You have nothing to lose atthat point.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
And that can be detrimental for people that is
also incarcerated with them.
I assume yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
And you made a really good point, because sometimes
they come up to us to interviewand it becomes a vent in session
and you have one or two memberslike, okay, you need to just
cut that off and I'm like, no, Iwould rather they vent and cry
and kick and scream here a placeto go in, down into the unit
and assaulting another person toinclude an officer.
(38:01):
So no, we are gonna stay hereas long as it takes for them to
get it off their chest andhopefully we can reassure them
that we can assist them.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
I think it's amazing and I think it was a really good
call for you to be a part ofthat board, because sometimes
people are and this doesn't takeaway from their knowledge
around things but having thatfirsthand experience and
advocating is one thing, butadvocating from a space of I
know what that person is goingthrough.
It's gotta be a different formof advocacy.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
I believe so.
Yeah, I have to.
I believe so and I believe thatI am there for a reason because
, again, I didn't seek it.
I, after probably about ninemonths, I was appointed deputy
chair and then, several monthsafter that, I was appointed
chair.
It happened very quickly, yeah,and again I didn't ask for it.
It's sort of after me and Iaccepted the opportunity and as
(38:55):
long as the minister would haveme, I will be there to serve.
Even if I was removed as chair,I will continue to serve.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
That's a calling Like , that's something that you know
you've been calling your lifeto give back in that way and
that's how you know, by based onthe fact that you would still
wanna do that.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Sort of everything that you've kind of been through
and you've learned and theplaces that you, you know, have
been and come fromentrepreneurship, being
incarcerated, being a mom, beinga wife, all of those things
Like what has been the greatestlearning, I guess, point in your
life.
What have you gotten from allof that?
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Well, I've received a great deal.
I mean, I just believe I'mtruly blessed.
I sometimes feel like I havethe entire package A successful
marriage, 20 years.
I have two amazing young people.
I think my kids are really,really nice people.
I like them.
Some people don't like theirchildren.
They love them but they don'tlike them.
(39:52):
They're well mannered, they'recharismatic, they're kind,
they're giving.
The entrepreneurial piece hasbeen a blessing.
Again, I can beat my own drum.
While I believe there are prosand cons to working for someone
else, right, you can walk in thedoor and lose your job today,
but your business could alsofood as a result of I don't know
(40:16):
something, the pandemic, somepeople didn't survive that.
So we just have to appreciatewhere we are and enjoy the
moment and continue to be better.
I always pride myself on justwhat's for me won't pass me.
I truly believe that I got thatfrom my grandmother.
She always said that and italways pans out that way because
(40:38):
sometimes some do a shot.
But as a whole, I've justreceived that.
I am thankful.
I'm thankful and elated thatthe experiences that have been
afforded me have come my way,yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
I love that All right .
Well, I mean, it's crazy howtime flies.
But everyone, this lastquestion that I asked all of my
guests before they leave thecouch is you know, and it's I
love that.
You know you had thisexperiences that you've gone
through in your life and it'snot a traditional path, but of
everything that you've beenthrough, like what is something
that you want to be rememberedfor.
(41:14):
I always say this you knowyou're no longer on the planet.
A long time from now, touchwood a long time from now, and
people mention your name, likewhat do you want them to say
about you?
Speaker 2 (41:26):
That's a little question, I think.
First and foremost, I wish tobe remembered as being candid
but tactful.
I believe in holding peopleaccountable.
I believe that you do them adisservice if you don't allow
them to accept or own theirresponsibilities.
(41:46):
I wish to be remembered as agood listener.
I believe it's best to listenmore than to speak.
People want to be heard.
They don't always want orseeking your advice, they just
want to be heard.
I love to be remembered forbeing an amazing mom, although
that's a question for mychildren.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
I think you got that one down.
I know your song say yes.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
I pride myself on being a great mother and a great
wife and a community person.
I love to give finances my time.
I always make time for people.
I take advantage of theseopportunities where I'm quiet
and I'm like listen, let me callthis person and just check in
and say hello, do you needanything, are you okay?
(42:31):
I am everyone's biggestcheerleader.
I love to validate andencourage people.
So those are the final thingsthat I love to be remembered for
.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
That's amazing.
Okay, and you have two booksshamefully discreet and
overcoming betrayal.
If anyone wants to buy thoseand read them, where can they do
that?
Speaker 2 (42:50):
They can currently find them on Amazon.
I no longer bring them in.
I ran through that period ofwhere they were offered at Brown
and Co people's pharmacy.
My mom sold a whole bunch ofthem out of her business.
But at this time you candownload it on your Kindle or
you can purchase a hot copy andtab it mail to you.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Perfect, amazing.
Okay, and give me how canpeople get in contact with you
if they wanted to partake ineither of your businesses?
Speaker 2 (43:16):
I can be contacted.
My email is mixmeekscom, orthey can contact me through the
Kitspa on 292-4257.
And it's probably the best waysof contacting me.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Perfect, all right, well, thank you so much for
sending some time to me todayand trusting me to share that
story on the platform.
I really appreciate you beingwilling to do that.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Thank you for having me.
You were amazing.
I did trust that you were goingto present in the way and form
a fashion that you did.
I was very comfortable.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
And certainly you later to be here.
Thank you, all right.
All right, guys.
We just had an amazing, amazingepisode with the amazing Kim
Roberts also known to me all mylife as An Kim who came and she
shared her story with us.
She was very vulnerable aboutthe things that she's been
through in her life and how sheturned her life around and
basically is on the other sideof that.
If you want to learn more abouther or read more about her, her
(44:15):
journey and everything she wentthrough in her life, she has
two books the ShamefullyDiscrete as well as Overcoming
Betrayal that you can find onAmazon, and you can get the
e-version or you can get thehard copy mailed to you.
So make sure you head overthere and support the two books
that she currently has.
As always, make sure you headover to the website
hostileheartpodcastcom, whereyou can see the show notes about
(44:37):
this episode.
You can also check out the blog, where you can give me some
feedback on the episode.
Tell me what you thought.
I love to hear all of yourfeedback about the episode that
you just watched and or listenedto, depending on the platform
that you're on.
Also, sign up to be a VIPlistener so you can get some of
our amazing giveaways that wehave coming out From our great
sponsors from this season BrownCompany, as well as 59 Front.
(45:00):
As always, guys, thank you forspending some time with me today
watching Hustle Her Podcast.
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