May 30, 2024 • 26 mins
What if loneliness wasn't just about being alone, but about a deeper spiritual disconnect? Join us on Hypnotherapy for the Soul as we uncover the profound reasons behind loneliness through the wisdom of Stella's higher self. Discover why being surrounded by others often fails to alleviate feelings of isolation and learn how embodying a persona rather than one's true self can exacerbate these feelings. We dive into the importance of fostering authentic connections with oneself, our hobbies, and the environment, emphasizing our inherent energetic bonds with everything around us. Gain valuable insights into the role of vulnerability and authenticity in overcoming loneliness and enhancing our relationships.
In this episode, we also tackle the intricate relationship between fear and isolation, offering strategies to transform how we perceive and handle fear. Learn about a powerful mini-ritual for self-connection that involves meditation and journaling, helping you to embrace solitude and find contentment within. We discuss the delicate balance between self-sufficiency and nurturing supportive relationships, ultimately guiding you to see everyone as an extension of yourself and choosing connections based on love and expansion. Tune in to enrich your understanding of loneliness and discover practical methods to cultivate inner and outer connections, creating a life filled with genuine, supportive relationships.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
welcome to our podcast.
Hypnotherapy for the soul.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
This is your host, shea pestle, and this is my
co-host where we explore thepower of hypnosis and connect to
inner wisdom.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
For answers through our episodes, we share behind
the scenes live sessions to helpyou tap into your inner
guidance.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Join us on this journey of self-discovery and
utilize the power of hypnosis toconnect to your higher self.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
In this episode, we are going to be discussing all
about loneliness and what thismeans from a spiritual
perspective, from Varchie orStella's higher self.
She will be giving us insightsas to what this experience
entails.
So if you suffer fromloneliness, like many of us,
(00:57):
this is a great episode for you,as this will be a unique
insight into what thisexperience really is about from
a higher perspective, as I willbe interviewing Stella's higher
self in this episode.
What you won't hear is megetting her into this deep
hypnotic state so that we canextract this information from a
(01:21):
higher consciousness in thedelta and theta wave frequency.
And just a reminder, this isnot just unique to either of us.
Everyone has this access,because we are all spirit.
First, we are all connected tothe higher realms of
consciousness, and this wisdomis innate in all of us.
So have an open mind right,keep what resonates with you and
(01:45):
leave the rest behind.
And now, without further ado,let's jump into the next episode
.
I'd just like to invite yourhigher self to speak through
Barshi in this moment of time,please, and when you're here,
just say here.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Here.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Thank you so much for being with us today.
Just got some questions aboutlimiting beliefs and an idea
that someone might have of justfeeling and being alone, and so
the first question in regards tothis is why do I or someone
(02:29):
constantly feel a sense ofloneliness, even when I am
surrounded by people?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Usually a sense of loneliness comes from lacking
connection and feelingmisunderstood.
That can also.
That can be for various reasonsand one of them is not willing
to share vulnerably who you arebecause it might not have been
saved at some point in time.
(02:59):
So now there is this differentpersona that took place.
So it's almost like, if that isin society, this feeling of
being disconnected becauseyou're not sharing your true
self, or at least who you wouldlike to be, but you're sharing
who you think you should be.
And then this creates thisdisconnect with the environment,
(03:22):
because you can, you're kind ofgiving the energy into
something, into obtaining anidea that it's not sustainable
and it's preventing you to feelfully connected with the
environment.
And I can just give analogylike, for example, as if a bird
would fell in the sea and wouldpretend that it's a fish but in
(03:46):
reality it's not a fish.
So it would feel kind of lonelythere and just not able to
connect with anyone.
That's how our mind makes itmean that we are separate, even
though we are not.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Okay, it makes sense.
And how can someone overcomethe fear of being alone and find
comfort in their own company?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
so basically, you're never really alone, even though
it might seem so, because in the3d plane our body separated
from other bodies and that's allthere is.
Otherwise, energetically we areconnected to everything.
And if you are focusing solelyon your body, you can just
(04:31):
perpetuate that belief.
And instead of focusing on thefeeling of connection and it can
be with simple things, thingsthat you love, and it can be a
connection to your hobby, ormaybe connection to the
environment where you live,maybe your apartment or and then
maybe your pets or you know andthrough that you can extend,
(04:55):
you can just be you and evenfeel that it's safe and also
explore, yeah, just how it is tobe in your own energy.
That's one thing, but also Iwould still say that it's
important to focus on feelingconnected and not thinking that
one has to be connected to aparticular outside, for example,
(05:19):
or to a particular person,animal, but just have connection
.
So just pure desire or pureintention to have connection
actually can surpass that beliefthat you're isolated or you're
alone, because in reality you'renot.
You're with yourself, and eventhat is connection to your soul,
(05:41):
and then through thatconnection you're actually.
The more you feel connected toyourself, the more you feel
connected to others.
And that's kind of paradoxmaybe for your mind, because it
feels it sees everything from a3D perspective, where there is a
lot of separation.
But if you kind of tend to yourconnection to your heart, to
(06:02):
your soul, then you feel howeverything, just kind of this
love that you feel inside of you, that actually resides in you,
can um manifest outside and theworld will feel different.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah, it's just, there can be no other way and
it's a lot of sense from whatI'm gathering.
Basically, it's a reflection ofyour own inner world.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Correct, yes, exactly .
Speaker 1 (06:27):
So if someone feels unsupported by others, would it
be safe to say that they justdon't support themselves?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Yeah, to a degree.
Yes, Because so one way oflooking at it is they might not
express all the needs that theyhave and by not expressing their
needs for various differentreasons, and usually it's just
fear fear of either rejection or, yeah, just fear of not being
connected, fear of losing loveor whatever that is.
(06:56):
So when they are in that, whenthey don't express what they
need, it feels like the worldcan't provide.
So it's kind of always two-waystreet.
It's great that one acts onwhat they need themselves as
well, but also know that youknow we are all co-creating this
(07:18):
reality, so one person cannotbuild the entire city.
It's just impossible.
We need everyone.
So it's all about being in theflow and also allowing oneself
to receive help or support, love, whatever that is, and then act
from that.
(07:38):
Usually that's that's thebiggest hurdle of someone
feeling unsupported.
And if there is really, if theyare asking, and if there is no
support, so there can be alsoanother issue or obstacle can be
that the way they are asking,maybe there has there needs to
be a change in communicationstyle so that it's more
(08:00):
permissive instead of demanding.
And obviously I'm just givingan example here.
And the last thing let me justget back to that one.
Okay.
So the last thing is, if theirneeds aren't met and their valid
needs, and you know theircommunication is fine,
everything works on their end sothen they're just not asking
(08:24):
the right person.
So it's you know.
Again, going back to that themethat I said in the beginning,
if we want something, it'simportant that we are not
fixated in what shape or form weget that.
So, for example, if I want helpor if I want love, so that I'm
not saying, okay, I just wantlove from this part and just
(08:46):
tune out all the rest, becausethat's very narrow, I mean we
just almost like shoot ourselvesin the foot because we don't
allow ourselves to accept somuch more.
So I would say be in the flow,recognize who are people that
can support you.
If that's the case, if someoneis consistently giving you I
(09:06):
guess showing up that they can'tsupport you, then just believe
that and move on and findsupport elsewhere, instead of
demanding from a single personto give you that, because they
might not be able to and for thereasons we don't know and
they're usually not personaldefinitely, and so, going into
what you were just talking about, what if you have this feeling
(09:28):
that no one understands yourinnermost thoughts and desires?
Yeah, that's very common,especially for people who were
growing up.
They couldn't expressthemselves, they were silenced
or it wasn't safe for them toexpress because their parents
didn't allow them to bethemselves.
So maybe they even had tomanage their parents' emotions.
(09:51):
So for these people it doesn'tfeel safe to just express
themselves and they might feelthat something is wrong with
them just on fundamental level,just because of upbringing.
And these feelings of beingalone and no one understands me.
They're very common and I wouldsay it's really important or
(10:12):
something that can be, if it'spossible, can be done is really
reaching out for help, becausemaybe even having a therapist if
having a friend is not likesharing certain things with a
friend is not safe, or butreally reaching out and having
that support of a therapistbecause having someone that is
(10:34):
just so, in a way, so objective,but also really wants the best
for you, with no agenda behindit, can be very healing because
a person can learn how to bereceived and just accepted as
they are and, yeah, that canreally lead to switching this.
That's a limiting belief.
Every time we feel like we areseparated, we don't't feel we
(10:57):
belong, is either we are not atthe right place or we are not
showing who we are, but it'ssomething has to change, because
that's a place where we arestuck and it's not a place that
we would like to be, and this isnot a place where our soul can
thrive.
So that's a good indicator thatwe need to do something about
it.
Yeah, and move on, or move.
(11:18):
Yeah, just deal with this oneokay, and what would you say?
Speaker 1 (11:22):
are some self-sabotaging behaviors or
thought patterns that contributeto the sense of isolation?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
I guess some of those are, let's say, people aren't
safe.
I can't trust people, and thisagain, a lot of these things
stemmed from childhood, becauseeither people were constantly
proving that they couldn't betrusted, they were abusive in in
different forms.
So I guess I would say trust isreally really a big one, and
(11:54):
and then we trust comes ability.
The more we trust and not eventrust others but trust ourselves
, we can be more, we can bevulnerable and it's important to
know that.
No matter if outside world, ifthere is a person that breaks
your trust or, yeah, just youfind hurts you in some way, you
(12:15):
know that you have yourself,that that you now have yourself,
and when you are a child youneed it outside people for
emotional regulation, but nowyou have yourself and you are an
adult and you can do that.
So even though one part of youfeels like that's so scary,
(12:37):
there is a part of you who hasyour back and you can totally
trust it.
What you might need to do isjust, yeah, just be aware of,
reacquaint yourself with all thetools that are available to
regulate yourself, because thechances are you'll probably
survive Like you have survivedeverything that has happened to
(12:59):
you so far, and you're superadaptable as a human being, so
chances are that you willsurvive all the things that you
might fear.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Definitely, and how can someone navigate or overcome
the fear of rejection orabandonment that often
accompanies the feeling of beingalone, of rejection or
abandonment that oftenaccompanies the feeling of being
alone, allowing to feel it.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Because when you try to push away that fear, I would
invite someone to actuallysometimes not for everyone, but
for some people what can beuseful is they can imagine how
would it look like if they wererejected in a certain situation
and really live that Like, justexperience it and then breathe
(13:44):
through it and see that you knowthey're still alive.
And if they allow that tohappen, instead of fighting that
energy, if they really allow it, like what is the worst thing
that can happen and sometimes,or oftentimes, what can happen,
if they really allow it, likewhat is the worst thing that can
happen and sometimes, oroftentimes, what can happen, if
they really allow that they cansense this sense of freedom or
(14:05):
they can feel this detachmentand just know that they've never
had any control over any matteranyway.
So why, you know why, fussingabout it or why putting so much
fear around it instead offocusing on what do I want?
And if that is, for example, Iwant joy, and if something comes
(14:27):
up and you know we are, we getrejected.
What we can, obviously, youknow, again, allow the sadness
and all of that, but also knowthat maybe it was just because
it wasn't in alignment with whatyou wanted in the first place
and that was just for you tohave either discernment or maybe
just learn how to focus more onor be in your own energy more
(14:54):
and be in alignment.
Yeah, because I mean fear willalways be there.
It will never disappear.
It's really your relationshipto that fear.
So how you want to deal with it, that's up to you.
And this is actually where yourpower lies.
You can acknowledge fear, as Isaid, acknowledge it.
You can listen to it and thenyou say, all right, let's's go
(15:17):
for it and I might as well enjoyit.
You know, the worst can happenis what my fears tells me, but
what is the best thing?
And then just focusing on thatand acting anyway, because the
worst thing that actually canhappen is if fear holds you in
its grip and you kind of are notmoving and and that's where
(15:42):
your life force cannot reallyflow, and then you become stuck
and a lot of actually kind ofusually that perpetuates this
vicious circle and you don'twant that.
Have awareness.
So, yeah, I hope I answeredthis one.
Maybe I was just going off, nodefinitely.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
And is there anything else?
Just on breaking this illusionof isolation and the feeling of
that, anything else that youmight have not touched on?
Speaker 2 (16:12):
it's such a big subject, but I would say, as
with everything, just, you don'thave to run from that.
If you feel I feel isolated, Idon't feel connected,
acknowledge that first.
Yeah, you don't have to runaway from it.
And then find parts of you thatare connected to something,
(16:32):
whatever that is, and that,those parts that feel good, and
then follow the path like whatare those parts that make you
feel connected?
Because there is no way thatyou feel disconnected all the
time.
There must, there must be timeswhere you do feel connected,
and then search for those, buildon those, expand those and I'm
(16:55):
speaking a lot about 3d realitytoday, because we are in this 3d
reality from the higherperspective.
When you go and meditate, youhave this feeling of connection,
but often what comes up forpeople is when, let's say, they
meditate and then they come intheir bodies and they feel like,
oh, I don't like the way thingsare, I don't feel connected to
(17:17):
this world, which is validbecause of all the obstacles
that we have and this illusionof separation and because people
live in fear, and then theyjust basically think of
themselves.
A lot of people think ofthemselves more from not from
abundance stance, but from lackmentality and then choices are
(17:38):
made from lack mentality andthat results in other people
feeling, oh you know, and it'sjust, we can just go down that
rabbit hole.
But it's really important whereyou focus your energy, and it's
not to discard what is, butwhat you want to create more of,
because that's where your focusis.
But what you want to createmore of, because that's where
(17:58):
your focus is, is where yourenergy flows and your energy is
so powerful.
It's your biggest asset.
So pay attention where you putyour focus to and if you want to
feel more connected, honestlyyou can just start observing
your life, seeing where do youfeel connected, and then do more
(18:21):
of that, cultivate that, expandon those things and if that's,
if you know you don't haveenough of that, find ways to do
more of that.
Ask for help, as you can evenjust ask universe or just say a
prayer, if that's your thing.
But be intentional, like setintention.
(18:41):
Yeah, because this physicalplane is not to escape but to
create things and also createmomentum that other people can
then snap out of that fear andreally start creating from this
place of abundance, from placeof creation, because we need to
(19:02):
go, we need to come to thatplace, because then things will
roll way, you know way,different way than they do now,
and then things will actuallyfeel abundant and expansive and
people might feel more joy andfeel more naturally more
supported.
But yeah, it starts really withyou and instead of you know,
(19:26):
seeing, oh, what is not there,seeing what is there and how can
I contribute more to lifestylethat I want to live and create?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Very cool.
Thank you All right.
Is there anything else you'dlike to add?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Just a final exercise that one can take.
If they want to, they can have,for example, when you go and
meditate, or you can actuallylight a candle.
You can light a candle and thenstare in the candle and just
feel this light and then allowthis light to enter your heart,
and what you can do is thenstart journaling and have
(20:06):
conversation with your heart.
If that feels right for you,you can then have conversation
with your heart and just askyour heart all these questions
and this way you will feel moreconnected to yourself and your
heart.
Yeah, and then, after you'redone, just blow out the light
(20:26):
and that's it.
So it's a really cool, simplemini ritual that you can, yeah,
just practice maybe five, tenminutes a day for next two weeks
and see how it goes I love it.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Thank you so much.
I just have my own personalquestion or statement.
So, like, my idea of beingalone doesn't necessarily have
to mean that I'm lonely and ifone can get comfortable, so much
so being alone and enjoyingthat space, would you say that
could be a definition of success.
(20:59):
And it could also mean that,like you, will no longer have
limiting relationships where itdepends on codependency and all
that stuff.
Is that like one of the likethemes we experience here on
this planet, based on the otherperception that we're separate
and if we can really just enjoyourselves fully being alone
(21:22):
without anyone, is that not likesuccessful?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
okay.
So the way this planet works isone can't really function by
themselves because we need otherpeople.
But in, that's fine, we don'thave to be.
It's not about hyperindividualism or something like
that.
It's not that or being isolatedand self-sufficient, but it's
(21:49):
really about understanding thatyou are enough and you don't
need others to be.
But what you do need is youneed to have discernment.
Which are the people that cancreate together with you, so
that your creation, whateveryou're putting here for, or
(22:12):
whatever you want to create,that they can help you expand
that, and so this is a littlebit so the way, the way how
everything is formed now ispeople have families and then
they get attached to theirfamily.
Family is their source of safetyand even for so many people,
(22:36):
family like birth family.
It might not be the mostbeneficial source in terms of
emotional and just mental,spiritual nourishment, but they
cling to it because that theyfeel like, okay, I need to have
(22:57):
my bond to my family becauseotherwise I won't survive.
I need to have my bond to myfamily because otherwise I won't
survive and family is important.
I'm not saying that it's not,but if a person, like a human
being, can kind of liftthemselves or see another
perspective, higher perspective,and see everyone like if we see
(23:19):
everyone as part of ourselves,everyone like if we see everyone
as part of ourselves.
We know that, for example, if Iam my right hand and let's say,
my index finger on the righthand, I know that I will hang
out with other four fingers andI don't necessarily need my toes
.
And what I mean by that is, ifa person is really centered,
(23:45):
they know that they're part ofeverything.
They can even trust that allthe people that are in their
world are there to support them,and that can be family or it
cannot be family for them, andthat can be family or it cannot
be family.
But if they choose people fromthe place of love and expansion
(24:06):
sometimes it might they canstill be with family.
I mean, they can have familyfor the rest of their lives.
You know their ties, but theycan even open up themselves to
different connections.
But you were talking about beingalone, and of course you can be
alone, and it's actually thething is that here is this sense
(24:27):
or notion that you are.
You can be alone Because whenyou're so connected with
yourself, you know thatbasically you're connected to
others and you will have rightpeople that will support you.
And it's not about oh my god, Ineed this particular person.
No, it's not about that.
But just know that there willalways be people that will
(24:50):
support you as long as you arefollowing your heart, your
mission, whatever that is,because it's just impossible not
to be this way Unless you closeyourself off.
So that's just impossible notto be this way unless you close
yourself off.
So that's, that's just thefinal thing that I want to
mention.
So it's not about you beingisolated from others, but having
(25:12):
discernment.
You know, even some peoplecannot yeah, some people cannot
support you in your whatever youwant, wherever you want want to
do, and that's fine.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
But you can feel content with being alone and
also choose that you want to bearound the people you want to be
around.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Exactly Because a loneliness is.
Being alone is not being lonely, as you said, and that's so
important, but I was today.
I was more referring to aloneas being separated.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah, awesome.
Thank you so much much.
Yeah, you're welcome yeah, Iwant to thank you bargy, stella
and um, your higher self.
Appreciate you so much awesomeinsights today.
Thank you for listening tohypnotherapy for the soul
brought to you by myself, shaypestle, and my friend and co-,
(25:59):
stella, where we share with youbehind the scenes live
hypnotherapy sessions to giveyou the authentic experience of
what it means to connect to yoursubconscious mind that you can
tap into.
Please follow us athypnotherapyforthesoulcom
Patreon and our socials.
See you in the next episode.
welcome to our podcast.
Hypnotherapy for the soul.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
This is your host, shea pestle, and this is my
co-host where we explore thepower of hypnosis and connect to
inner wisdom.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
For answers through our episodes, we share behind
the scenes live sessions to helpyou tap into your inner
guidance.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Join us on this journey of self-discovery and
utilize the power of hypnosis toconnect to your higher self.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
In this episode, we are going to be discussing all
about loneliness and what thismeans from a spiritual
perspective, from Varchie orStella's higher self.
She will be giving us insightsas to what this experience
entails.
So if you suffer fromloneliness, like many of us,
(00:57):
this is a great episode for you,as this will be a unique
insight into what thisexperience really is about from
a higher perspective, as I willbe interviewing Stella's higher
self in this episode.
What you won't hear is megetting her into this deep
hypnotic state so that we canextract this information from a
(01:21):
higher consciousness in thedelta and theta wave frequency.
And just a reminder, this isnot just unique to either of us.
Everyone has this access,because we are all spirit.
First, we are all connected tothe higher realms of
consciousness, and this wisdomis innate in all of us.
So have an open mind right,keep what resonates with you and
(01:45):
leave the rest behind.
And now, without further ado,let's jump into the next episode
.
I'd just like to invite yourhigher self to speak through
Barshi in this moment of time,please, and when you're here,
just say here.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Here.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Thank you so much for being with us today.
Just got some questions aboutlimiting beliefs and an idea
that someone might have of justfeeling and being alone, and so
the first question in regards tothis is why do I or someone
(02:29):
constantly feel a sense ofloneliness, even when I am
surrounded by people?
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Usually a sense of loneliness comes from lacking
connection and feelingmisunderstood.
That can also.
That can be for various reasonsand one of them is not willing
to share vulnerably who you arebecause it might not have been
saved at some point in time.
(02:59):
So now there is this differentpersona that took place.
So it's almost like, if that isin society, this feeling of
being disconnected becauseyou're not sharing your true
self, or at least who you wouldlike to be, but you're sharing
who you think you should be.
And then this creates thisdisconnect with the environment,
(03:22):
because you can, you're kind ofgiving the energy into
something, into obtaining anidea that it's not sustainable
and it's preventing you to feelfully connected with the
environment.
And I can just give analogylike, for example, as if a bird
would fell in the sea and wouldpretend that it's a fish but in
(03:46):
reality it's not a fish.
So it would feel kind of lonelythere and just not able to
connect with anyone.
That's how our mind makes itmean that we are separate, even
though we are not.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Okay, it makes sense.
And how can someone overcomethe fear of being alone and find
comfort in their own company?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
so basically, you're never really alone, even though
it might seem so, because in the3d plane our body separated
from other bodies and that's allthere is.
Otherwise, energetically we areconnected to everything.
And if you are focusing solelyon your body, you can just
(04:31):
perpetuate that belief.
And instead of focusing on thefeeling of connection and it can
be with simple things, thingsthat you love, and it can be a
connection to your hobby, ormaybe connection to the
environment where you live,maybe your apartment or and then
maybe your pets or you know andthrough that you can extend,
(04:55):
you can just be you and evenfeel that it's safe and also
explore, yeah, just how it is tobe in your own energy.
That's one thing, but also Iwould still say that it's
important to focus on feelingconnected and not thinking that
one has to be connected to aparticular outside, for example,
(05:19):
or to a particular person,animal, but just have connection
.
So just pure desire or pureintention to have connection
actually can surpass that beliefthat you're isolated or you're
alone, because in reality you'renot.
You're with yourself, and eventhat is connection to your soul,
(05:41):
and then through thatconnection you're actually.
The more you feel connected toyourself, the more you feel
connected to others.
And that's kind of paradoxmaybe for your mind, because it
feels it sees everything from a3D perspective, where there is a
lot of separation.
But if you kind of tend to yourconnection to your heart, to
(06:02):
your soul, then you feel howeverything, just kind of this
love that you feel inside of you, that actually resides in you,
can um manifest outside and theworld will feel different.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah, it's just, there can be no other way and
it's a lot of sense from whatI'm gathering.
Basically, it's a reflection ofyour own inner world.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Correct, yes, exactly .
Speaker 1 (06:27):
So if someone feels unsupported by others, would it
be safe to say that they justdon't support themselves?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Yeah, to a degree.
Yes, Because so one way oflooking at it is they might not
express all the needs that theyhave and by not expressing their
needs for various differentreasons, and usually it's just
fear fear of either rejection or, yeah, just fear of not being
connected, fear of losing loveor whatever that is.
(06:56):
So when they are in that, whenthey don't express what they
need, it feels like the worldcan't provide.
So it's kind of always two-waystreet.
It's great that one acts onwhat they need themselves as
well, but also know that youknow we are all co-creating this
(07:18):
reality, so one person cannotbuild the entire city.
It's just impossible.
We need everyone.
So it's all about being in theflow and also allowing oneself
to receive help or support, love, whatever that is, and then act
from that.
(07:38):
Usually that's that's thebiggest hurdle of someone
feeling unsupported.
And if there is really, if theyare asking, and if there is no
support, so there can be alsoanother issue or obstacle can be
that the way they are asking,maybe there has there needs to
be a change in communicationstyle so that it's more
(08:00):
permissive instead of demanding.
And obviously I'm just givingan example here.
And the last thing let me justget back to that one.
Okay.
So the last thing is, if theirneeds aren't met and their valid
needs, and you know theircommunication is fine,
everything works on their end sothen they're just not asking
(08:24):
the right person.
So it's you know.
Again, going back to that themethat I said in the beginning,
if we want something, it'simportant that we are not
fixated in what shape or form weget that.
So, for example, if I want helpor if I want love, so that I'm
not saying, okay, I just wantlove from this part and just
(08:46):
tune out all the rest, becausethat's very narrow, I mean we
just almost like shoot ourselvesin the foot because we don't
allow ourselves to accept somuch more.
So I would say be in the flow,recognize who are people that
can support you.
If that's the case, if someoneis consistently giving you I
(09:06):
guess showing up that they can'tsupport you, then just believe
that and move on and findsupport elsewhere, instead of
demanding from a single personto give you that, because they
might not be able to and for thereasons we don't know and
they're usually not personaldefinitely, and so, going into
what you were just talking about, what if you have this feeling
(09:28):
that no one understands yourinnermost thoughts and desires?
Yeah, that's very common,especially for people who were
growing up.
They couldn't expressthemselves, they were silenced
or it wasn't safe for them toexpress because their parents
didn't allow them to bethemselves.
So maybe they even had tomanage their parents' emotions.
(09:51):
So for these people it doesn'tfeel safe to just express
themselves and they might feelthat something is wrong with
them just on fundamental level,just because of upbringing.
And these feelings of beingalone and no one understands me.
They're very common and I wouldsay it's really important or
(10:12):
something that can be, if it'spossible, can be done is really
reaching out for help, becausemaybe even having a therapist if
having a friend is not likesharing certain things with a
friend is not safe, or butreally reaching out and having
that support of a therapistbecause having someone that is
(10:34):
just so, in a way, so objective,but also really wants the best
for you, with no agenda behindit, can be very healing because
a person can learn how to bereceived and just accepted as
they are and, yeah, that canreally lead to switching this.
That's a limiting belief.
Every time we feel like we areseparated, we don't't feel we
(10:57):
belong, is either we are not atthe right place or we are not
showing who we are, but it'ssomething has to change, because
that's a place where we arestuck and it's not a place that
we would like to be, and this isnot a place where our soul can
thrive.
So that's a good indicator thatwe need to do something about
it.
Yeah, and move on, or move.
(11:18):
Yeah, just deal with this oneokay, and what would you say?
Speaker 1 (11:22):
are some self-sabotaging behaviors or
thought patterns that contributeto the sense of isolation?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
I guess some of those are, let's say, people aren't
safe.
I can't trust people, and thisagain, a lot of these things
stemmed from childhood, becauseeither people were constantly
proving that they couldn't betrusted, they were abusive in in
different forms.
So I guess I would say trust isreally really a big one, and
(11:54):
and then we trust comes ability.
The more we trust and not eventrust others but trust ourselves
, we can be more, we can bevulnerable and it's important to
know that.
No matter if outside world, ifthere is a person that breaks
your trust or, yeah, just youfind hurts you in some way, you
(12:15):
know that you have yourself,that that you now have yourself,
and when you are a child youneed it outside people for
emotional regulation, but nowyou have yourself and you are an
adult and you can do that.
So even though one part of youfeels like that's so scary,
(12:37):
there is a part of you who hasyour back and you can totally
trust it.
What you might need to do isjust, yeah, just be aware of,
reacquaint yourself with all thetools that are available to
regulate yourself, because thechances are you'll probably
survive Like you have survivedeverything that has happened to
(12:59):
you so far, and you're superadaptable as a human being, so
chances are that you willsurvive all the things that you
might fear.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Definitely, and how can someone navigate or overcome
the fear of rejection orabandonment that often
accompanies the feeling of beingalone, of rejection or
abandonment that oftenaccompanies the feeling of being
alone, allowing to feel it.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Because when you try to push away that fear, I would
invite someone to actuallysometimes not for everyone, but
for some people what can beuseful is they can imagine how
would it look like if they wererejected in a certain situation
and really live that Like, justexperience it and then breathe
(13:44):
through it and see that you knowthey're still alive.
And if they allow that tohappen, instead of fighting that
energy, if they really allow it, like what is the worst thing
that can happen and sometimes,or oftentimes, what can happen,
if they really allow it, likewhat is the worst thing that can
happen and sometimes, oroftentimes, what can happen, if
they really allow that they cansense this sense of freedom or
(14:05):
they can feel this detachmentand just know that they've never
had any control over any matteranyway.
So why, you know why, fussingabout it or why putting so much
fear around it instead offocusing on what do I want?
And if that is, for example, Iwant joy, and if something comes
(14:27):
up and you know we are, we getrejected.
What we can, obviously, youknow, again, allow the sadness
and all of that, but also knowthat maybe it was just because
it wasn't in alignment with whatyou wanted in the first place
and that was just for you tohave either discernment or maybe
just learn how to focus more onor be in your own energy more
(14:54):
and be in alignment.
Yeah, because I mean fear willalways be there.
It will never disappear.
It's really your relationshipto that fear.
So how you want to deal with it, that's up to you.
And this is actually where yourpower lies.
You can acknowledge fear, as Isaid, acknowledge it.
You can listen to it and thenyou say, all right, let's's go
(15:17):
for it and I might as well enjoyit.
You know, the worst can happenis what my fears tells me, but
what is the best thing?
And then just focusing on thatand acting anyway, because the
worst thing that actually canhappen is if fear holds you in
its grip and you kind of are notmoving and and that's where
(15:42):
your life force cannot reallyflow, and then you become stuck
and a lot of actually kind ofusually that perpetuates this
vicious circle and you don'twant that.
Have awareness.
So, yeah, I hope I answeredthis one.
Maybe I was just going off, nodefinitely.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
And is there anything else?
Just on breaking this illusionof isolation and the feeling of
that, anything else that youmight have not touched on?
Speaker 2 (16:12):
it's such a big subject, but I would say, as
with everything, just, you don'thave to run from that.
If you feel I feel isolated, Idon't feel connected,
acknowledge that first.
Yeah, you don't have to runaway from it.
And then find parts of you thatare connected to something,
(16:32):
whatever that is, and that,those parts that feel good, and
then follow the path like whatare those parts that make you
feel connected?
Because there is no way thatyou feel disconnected all the
time.
There must, there must be timeswhere you do feel connected,
and then search for those, buildon those, expand those and I'm
(16:55):
speaking a lot about 3d realitytoday, because we are in this 3d
reality from the higherperspective.
When you go and meditate, youhave this feeling of connection,
but often what comes up forpeople is when, let's say, they
meditate and then they come intheir bodies and they feel like,
oh, I don't like the way thingsare, I don't feel connected to
(17:17):
this world, which is validbecause of all the obstacles
that we have and this illusionof separation and because people
live in fear, and then theyjust basically think of
themselves.
A lot of people think ofthemselves more from not from
abundance stance, but from lackmentality and then choices are
(17:38):
made from lack mentality andthat results in other people
feeling, oh you know, and it'sjust, we can just go down that
rabbit hole.
But it's really important whereyou focus your energy, and it's
not to discard what is, butwhat you want to create more of,
because that's where your focusis.
But what you want to createmore of, because that's where
(17:58):
your focus is, is where yourenergy flows and your energy is
so powerful.
It's your biggest asset.
So pay attention where you putyour focus to and if you want to
feel more connected, honestlyyou can just start observing
your life, seeing where do youfeel connected, and then do more
(18:21):
of that, cultivate that, expandon those things and if that's,
if you know you don't haveenough of that, find ways to do
more of that.
Ask for help, as you can evenjust ask universe or just say a
prayer, if that's your thing.
But be intentional, like setintention.
(18:41):
Yeah, because this physicalplane is not to escape but to
create things and also createmomentum that other people can
then snap out of that fear andreally start creating from this
place of abundance, from placeof creation, because we need to
(19:02):
go, we need to come to thatplace, because then things will
roll way, you know way,different way than they do now,
and then things will actuallyfeel abundant and expansive and
people might feel more joy andfeel more naturally more
supported.
But yeah, it starts really withyou and instead of you know,
(19:26):
seeing, oh, what is not there,seeing what is there and how can
I contribute more to lifestylethat I want to live and create?
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Very cool.
Thank you All right.
Is there anything else you'dlike to add?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Just a final exercise that one can take.
If they want to, they can have,for example, when you go and
meditate, or you can actuallylight a candle.
You can light a candle and thenstare in the candle and just
feel this light and then allowthis light to enter your heart,
and what you can do is thenstart journaling and have
(20:06):
conversation with your heart.
If that feels right for you,you can then have conversation
with your heart and just askyour heart all these questions
and this way you will feel moreconnected to yourself and your
heart.
Yeah, and then, after you'redone, just blow out the light
(20:26):
and that's it.
So it's a really cool, simplemini ritual that you can, yeah,
just practice maybe five, tenminutes a day for next two weeks
and see how it goes I love it.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Thank you so much.
I just have my own personalquestion or statement.
So, like, my idea of beingalone doesn't necessarily have
to mean that I'm lonely and ifone can get comfortable, so much
so being alone and enjoyingthat space, would you say that
could be a definition of success.
(20:59):
And it could also mean that,like you, will no longer have
limiting relationships where itdepends on codependency and all
that stuff.
Is that like one of the likethemes we experience here on
this planet, based on the otherperception that we're separate
and if we can really just enjoyourselves fully being alone
(21:22):
without anyone, is that not likesuccessful?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
okay.
So the way this planet works isone can't really function by
themselves because we need otherpeople.
But in, that's fine, we don'thave to be.
It's not about hyperindividualism or something like
that.
It's not that or being isolatedand self-sufficient, but it's
(21:49):
really about understanding thatyou are enough and you don't
need others to be.
But what you do need is youneed to have discernment.
Which are the people that cancreate together with you, so
that your creation, whateveryou're putting here for, or
(22:12):
whatever you want to create,that they can help you expand
that, and so this is a littlebit so the way, the way how
everything is formed now ispeople have families and then
they get attached to theirfamily.
Family is their source of safetyand even for so many people,
(22:36):
family like birth family.
It might not be the mostbeneficial source in terms of
emotional and just mental,spiritual nourishment, but they
cling to it because that theyfeel like, okay, I need to have
(22:57):
my bond to my family becauseotherwise I won't survive.
I need to have my bond to myfamily because otherwise I won't
survive and family is important.
I'm not saying that it's not,but if a person, like a human
being, can kind of liftthemselves or see another
perspective, higher perspective,and see everyone like if we see
(23:19):
everyone as part of ourselves,everyone like if we see everyone
as part of ourselves.
We know that, for example, if Iam my right hand and let's say,
my index finger on the righthand, I know that I will hang
out with other four fingers andI don't necessarily need my toes
.
And what I mean by that is, ifa person is really centered,
(23:45):
they know that they're part ofeverything.
They can even trust that allthe people that are in their
world are there to support them,and that can be family or it
cannot be family for them, andthat can be family or it cannot
be family.
But if they choose people fromthe place of love and expansion
(24:06):
sometimes it might they canstill be with family.
I mean, they can have familyfor the rest of their lives.
You know their ties, but theycan even open up themselves to
different connections.
But you were talking about beingalone, and of course you can be
alone, and it's actually thething is that here is this sense
(24:27):
or notion that you are.
You can be alone Because whenyou're so connected with
yourself, you know thatbasically you're connected to
others and you will have rightpeople that will support you.
And it's not about oh my god, Ineed this particular person.
No, it's not about that.
But just know that there willalways be people that will
(24:50):
support you as long as you arefollowing your heart, your
mission, whatever that is,because it's just impossible not
to be this way Unless you closeyourself off.
So that's just impossible notto be this way unless you close
yourself off.
So that's, that's just thefinal thing that I want to
mention.
So it's not about you beingisolated from others, but having
(25:12):
discernment.
You know, even some peoplecannot yeah, some people cannot
support you in your whatever youwant, wherever you want want to
do, and that's fine.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
But you can feel content with being alone and
also choose that you want to bearound the people you want to be
around.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Exactly Because a loneliness is.
Being alone is not being lonely, as you said, and that's so
important, but I was today.
I was more referring to aloneas being separated.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah, awesome.
Thank you so much much.
Yeah, you're welcome yeah, Iwant to thank you bargy, stella
and um, your higher self.
Appreciate you so much awesomeinsights today.
Thank you for listening tohypnotherapy for the soul
brought to you by myself, shaypestle, and my friend and co-,
(25:59):
stella, where we share with youbehind the scenes live
hypnotherapy sessions to giveyou the authentic experience of
what it means to connect to yoursubconscious mind that you can
tap into.
Please follow us athypnotherapyforthesoulcom
Patreon and our socials.
See you in the next episode.
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