October 7, 2025 • 22 mins
The loop felt endless: wake up, predict a bad day, collect evidence that proves it, numb out, repeat. So I pressed pause and rewrote the first five minutes. This conversation walks through the simple practices that turned my mornings from dread into direction—four affirmations, short visualizations, and a kinder, more accurate story about who we are and what’s possible.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Hi, everybody.
Welcome back to IM Me.
I'm your host, Liz Bachman, andtoday we are talking about
something I am very, veryexcited to talk about because
I'm learning it right now, and Iknow I'm not the only one.
I'm gonna talk about how I ambreaking my negative cycles and
shifting out of my limitingbeliefs.
And I know that this is a hottopic item, right?
We hear about this one all thetime that if we can shift our
(00:24):
limiting beliefs, we can in turnshift our subconscious, which
shifts our reality.
And who doesn't want that whenwe feel like we are constantly
in a negative loop or repeatingpatterns or behaviors that we
don't like?
And if you are an overthinkerlike me, then this episode is
for you because I want theblueprint.
I want the tell me to do this,this, this, and this so that I
(00:45):
can get the thing that I want.
But unfortunately for usoverthinkers, when we are
dealing with this kind of stuffand this internal work, it is
not black and white and it neverwill be.
So these are things that I'mdoing that are actually helping
me and changing me.
I can feel that they're changingme.
And I hope that you can relateto them and that they give you a
(01:07):
little bit of hope and maybe youcan implement some of these
things to help yourself in theprocess.
So I think first, like maybetalk about how I have a very,
like, very loud inner criticrealizing that my mornings were
starting to start with just thenegative loop.
It's gonna be a bad day.
I have to go to the job that Idon't like.
It's just how am I getting outof this?
(01:28):
Da-da-da-da.
And of course, there's otherthings in play in terms of lack.
I know, big trigger words, lackmindset, scarcity mindset,
abundance, all that kind ofstuff.
But more than anything, what Iwas seeing was the negative
loops that I was getting stuckin in my day-to-day.
I first had to come to termswith part of the problem is me.
(01:49):
I am the one that is constantlywaking up and feeding myself the
narrative that today's gonna bebad and that I'm doing the same
thing and that I'm stuck where Iam.
If you feel stuck, you're notstuck.
If you feel stuck in the job,relationship with your finances,
that's a big one.
You know, all the big touchytopics.
That's a thing with thesetopics, we all hit them, right?
(02:09):
We all deal with them.
But if you feel stuck, you'renot.
There is always a way out.
You can get another job, you canget out of that relationship,
you can make more money.
And if you feel like you can't,you can.
Uh, it might take time and itmight take a little bit of work,
and it might take internal work.
Probably that's the mostimportant one is the internal
(02:30):
work, honestly.
But you freaking can.
You're not stuck.
Anyway, I feel like tellingmyself I was stuck was me
perpetuating this negativityloop, which reinforced the
limiting beliefs that I had.
I'm stuck and this is what itis, and I don't know how to get
out of this.
And then I'd start panicking onlike how I can get out of this
situation as quickly as possiblewhile constantly pumping
(02:52):
negativity into my life.
I could not be in my day becauseI didn't like my day, but there
became a point where the numbingwasn't working anymore, right?
Like television, food, drugs,alcohol, whatever your numbing
thing is.
It just wasn't working for meanymore.
I go to food and television alot, and I just was like, I
can't watch another my numbingshow or eat another pizza.
(03:12):
Oh, I'm wearing my pizza shirt.
That's funny.
But I can't eat another pizza tosuppress this because I'm too
aware of the fact that I am inthis like miserable loop.
So that was the first thing Ihad to do was realize that I was
perpetuating the misery to acertain extent, which was not
the most fun thing to come toterms with, in all honesty.
(03:34):
We don't ever like to think thatwe're the problem, right?
But um, I very much was in thatway.
And then I had to do somethingabout it really quick, going
with the misery loop.
I don't know, I'm sure peoplehave heard about confirmation
bias and stuff like that.
I'm actually gonna pull up andread the definition of
confirmation bias if you haven'theard it, because it's
(03:57):
important.
Okay.
Confirmation bias, the tendencyto interpret new evidence as
confirmation of one's existingbeliefs or theories.
Let's talk about it real quick.
So I have the story that my lifeis miserable, I'm stuck in this
job, I'm never gonna get out ofthis job, I'm not gonna make
money.
I'm constantly confirming thatwith waking up with my negative
feedback.
I mean, that was the what I'mtelling myself when I'm waking
(04:20):
up is that.
And it really the first shiftfor me was starting to wake up
and tell myself somethingdifferent.
And the thing that I literallypulled from Joe Dispenza, like
four affirmations, and I'm stilldoing them every morning.
First one was, I am the creatorof my destiny.
And then I take this is allsomething that I just like
learned and I'm doing it.
(04:40):
And I like literally before Ieven get out of my bed, I'm
doing this.
Right.
Affirmation number one, I am thecreator of my destiny.
Then I take two to three minutesand I visualize myself in the
future living the destiny that Iwant.
Also, guys, if you get caught,I'm a person that I'm like, I
don't quite know what I want.
I have an idea, but not quitesure.
That's okay.
Picture one thing that you want.
(05:01):
If you know you want to be in arelationship or married or have
a baby or a certain job orwhatever, just picture that
thing.
You don't have to know it allright now.
We don't know it all.
You're never gonna know it all.
I'm never gonna know it all.
Anyway, the second affirmationis that my energy creates my
reality.
Again, I would spend like two tothree minutes.
(05:22):
I'm still doing this, I don'tknow why I say I would.
I would spend two to threeminutes imagining the type of
energy I want.
For me, confidence, positivity,security is a big one.
I would just sit in that energyin my bed.
What would it feel like for meto be secure and not be worried
about money?
And what would it feel like forme to be confident and also
(05:48):
secure in myself?
Know that like the right peopleand opportunities and all that
are coming.
I'm secure in that.
I'm not worried about it nothappening because it is.
The third affirmation is I amcomplete as I am.
This one was really good for mebecause I really struggle with
feeling like I'm not enough.
A lot of us struggle with that.
(06:09):
Thank you.
Society, childhood, whatever thething is, social media, I don't
know.
But I would say I'm comp I amalready complete as I am.
And then I would really try tofeel that because it's not like
I don't need another person andI don't need a certain amount of
money, and I don't need acareer, a certain career to
(06:31):
already be complete.
It's not that I can't want thosethings.
Okay, that's where I feel like Iwould get stuck a lot.
I'd be like, oh, I'm completewhere I'm at currently.
So it's wrong for me to want tobe in a romantic relationship.
It's wrong for me to want acertain amount of money.
It's wrong for me to wantbecause I'm supposed to already
feel whole and complete and allthat.
(06:51):
It's it's not that, which is ifyou're an overthinker like me,
like, yeah, it's that goes blackand white thinking, right,
wrong.
It's not that, okay?
I'm complete as I am.
And just sit in that.
Can we just sit in that togetherfor a second?
That'd be awesome.
I'm complete as I am.
You are complete as you areright now.
I don't care what weight youare, how much money's in your
(07:12):
bank account, I don't care whatyour relationship status looks
like, I don't care what your jobis, you right now are complete
as you are.
And I would try to concentratethat energy of peace and
completeness in me and sit withthat for two to three minutes.
That does not mean that youdon't get to want the things you
(07:36):
want.
That doesn't mean you don't wanta different future.
You can still be complete andwant to be in love.
You can still be complete andwant to have a certain amount of
money, you can still be completeright now in this moment and
want to get healthier.
That doesn't mean that you don'twant those things.
And that was such the reason I'mlike spending time on this, is
(07:56):
that was such a big thing for mebecause I was like, oh, if I'm
complete right now, like I'llzen the freak out.
That means that I can't wantthese other things.
And it's like, no, we're human.
We are human.
It's okay for you to want thosethings.
It'd be crazy if you didn't wantthose things.
It's okay for you to want morefor yourself.
But the switch up is that thatdoesn't mean that you're not
(08:17):
complete and whole right now.
That's the thing that I want toland.
The fourth one is I am connectedto limitless opportunities.
And weirdly, when I really tuneinto that, like sitting there
again, spend the two to threeminutes focusing on it.
I almost like a montage goingsuper quick, or like stars like
(08:38):
that are connecting.
The dots are connecting in mybrain, is kind of how that works
for me.
I can see my mentor, musiciansI've worked with, people I've
met along the way, people I'vemet 10 years ago.
I guess people's a big one.
All these people are connectedand the doors and the
opportunities are opening.
And yeah, so that was the thatwas the first thing.
After like realizing that I wasperpetuating this negativity
(08:58):
loop or victimhood or whatever,I wanted to start my day because
I was I was starting my day insuch a negative energy.
I felt it when I wake, woke up.
I felt like this is it, this ismy life before I even get out of
my bed, do those fouraffirmations and sit with them
and just spend instead ofhitting snooze for another 10
minutes, I would, I would dothat.
I also have to remind myselfit's okay that I'm bad at it
(09:19):
sometimes.
Sometimes I it is great.
I am locked in and we are inthose four affirmations,
thriving.
And sometimes it's really hardto sit in that space and hold
that space for myself.
And that doesn't mean I'm doingit wrong.
That just means that I'm a humanand my life is lifing.
And so it's okay if you're allover the place sometimes, and
it's okay if you're really tunedin other times.
(09:41):
And this isn't about you gettingit right.
This is just about you gettingyour energy centered first thing
in the morning.
The other thing I did, I had torealize what people have put on
me throughout my life that Ihave now taken as truth.
And a really good, I can'tremember who said this.
It might have been my mentor, itmight have been in a podcast,
but they were talking about ifyou were like a white sheet of
(10:02):
paper when you're born, and thenpeople stick stuff on you.
You're too much, you're tooloud, you're not enough, you
need to be more quiet, you needto be, you need to be more loud,
you need, you know, we all theshit that gets thrown on us,
just being a human in thisworld, especially in childhood,
growing up, parents, teachers,friends, us trying to figure it
out, society, social media,entertainment, whatever, you
know, whatever's been thrown onyou.
(10:23):
What are you actually believingthat isn't true?
Too much is a big, big one forme.
I'm very energetic.
I can be super silly over thetop.
And there's a fear that if I'mthat, if I release the lid on
that and I just let myself beall of me, that people are gonna
be like, uh, she's a lie, orshe's an attention hog, or she
(10:45):
wants people to care and shewants attention and she wants
people to look at her when inactuality it's just how I am.
And I do like attention, whodoesn't, first of all?
But I also am just naturallyreally silly and goofy and
energetic and other other thingswith that.
Like, oh, if she's she's tooover the top, she's too much,
(11:07):
who's gonna want to work withme?
What clients will I get?
If I'm too much, too over thetop, will I even build a
following?
Will people think I'm a tryhard?
Okay, that might not be yourthing.
That's just mine, speaking frommy experience.
Who put this too much on me?
And why am I so worried aboutbeing too much?
Because the negativity is whatI'm pumping into me when in
(11:28):
actuality I have proof thatpeople like my too muchness.
Not everybody.
That's okay.
I do not want 8 billion peopleto like me.
That sounds exhausting.
But in fact, some people loveit.
Some people love my goofyover-the-top energy.
Some people love the fact thatI'm not filtered and they don't
know what's gonna come out of mymouth or what I'm gonna do.
(11:50):
News flash, I don't know.
I don't know if I'm gonna on awalk start frolicking or trying
to climb a tree.
You know, I don't know why thatwas the example.
But some people love that andsome people are gonna fucking
hate it.
Okay.
My therapist literally asked me,what would happen if this this
lid that you have on me being soterrified of being too much, if
(12:10):
we just pop that thing and justlet let all of me explode.
And the fear is I'd lose people.
But the truth is I'd alsoprobably find people.
I might lose people, but thoseare people I don't want.
And the right people would findme.
And that's really exciting.
Another thing I had to learn isrealizing what I put on myself
and learning to catch that.
So a good example of this for meis like anxious attachment, I
(12:34):
feel like.
If you don't know what that is,it's has to do with
relationships and the attachmentstyles and all that.
And I'm not a therapist, somaybe I'll make a video on some
on it at some point.
And I think if if you're someonewho's read a lot of self-help
books or listened to a lot ofself-help podcasts, you can
start putting stuff on yourself.
That's like, why?
Why are we putting that onourselves?
And the reason I brought upanxious attachment is I started
(12:56):
saying, I am anxiously attached.
I am an anxiously attached.
And I'm like, no, I struggledwith anxious attachment in one
relationship.
That does not mean that I am ananxiously attached person.
That doesn't mean that I can'tbe secure in another
relationship.
You news flash, thatrelationship didn't last.
That relationship ended.
That relationship was not a goodfit for me, which is probably
(13:18):
why there was anxiety around it.
So I think I started becomingreally careful with I am
statements.
I am anxiously attached, I amnot enough.
I am it's the stuff that Istarted feeding myself like self
that I say to myself regularly.
And it's not all about like I amaffirmations.
(13:39):
It's just noticing what you arebelieving, like what you put on
yourself at some point and whatyou're believing.
Another big one for me is moneythat I believe around money I
should have to scrape by andjust barely make the ends meet.
And it doesn't even matter thatmaybe I pick that up from
someone else at some point.
(14:00):
At a certain point, I startedmaking it my thing.
I started making it mynarrative.
The reason I say this and Iseparate it from the other point
is it's easy to figure out likea lot of times what other people
put on you, but at a certainpoint, you've aged so much that
you've just completely takenthat on as your own.
So figure out what other peopleare saying about you that you're
(14:20):
believing that's not true, butalso figure out what you're
saying about yourself thatyou're believing that's not
true, and just start trying tocatch them.
This is all gonna take time,okay?
I'm still doing this shit.
I'm still figuring this out,okay?
I just try to catch it.
Like when I'm like, I'manxiously attached, I'm like,
no, I'm not.
I'm not anxiously attached.
(14:41):
There's nothing wrong with me.
I am not broken.
Or when I say something like,I'm always just gonna struggle
with money.
No, I'm not.
I found three pennies the otherday.
Three on the ground, right nextto each other.
That might sound small to you,but you want to hear what's
really cool.
I've been doing this thing wherewhen I find a penny on the
ground, I get really freakingexcited about it.
(15:01):
Truly.
And it felt kind of silly atfirst.
I started doing this.
When I'd find a penny, I'd treatit like how I would if I found a
hundred dollars on the ground,right?
And at first it did feel sillyto have such a reaction because
if I found a hundred dollars onthe ground, I'd be like, woohoo!
Yeah.
Well, honestly, actually, that'snot true.
I would try to find who that$100belonged to.
(15:23):
But if nobody claimed it andthen they were like, you keep
it, it's yours, whoever thesepeople are, then be celebrating
hardcore, you know?
My point in all this is Istarted doing that with a penny,
and I've been finding pennies,and every time I do it, it's
kind of fun now when I find apenny because that just
naturally happens.
Like it's it's in the brain.
It's it's what my body's like,oh, when we find a penny, for
(15:43):
whatever reason, this bitch hassome crazy, excited, joyous
moment.
Well, yesterday I was with myfriend Aurora and I found three
print pennies.
And when I tell you, sheprobably thought I was like on
drugs, the way I was bouncingoff the wall over the fact that
I found three.
I looked like a toddler who hadjust in it in the middle of the
square with people around.
I don't care because I was like,what?
(16:04):
It's coming.
And that was one of the waysthat I started shifting my
mindset around this stuff.
That was one of the ways thatI'm trying to rewrite the
narrative that this the belief,this that I can't make money,
that like money is not coming tome.
Money's all around me.
What are you talking about?
I know it's easier said thandone, but you have to catch the
thoughts first.
Get excited a pit about a penny.
(16:26):
I'm telling you, try that shit.
Like if if if if money is athing for you, then go start
getting excited about yourfreaking penny.
Okay.
This one is for my self-helpers,the ones who have binge the fuck
out on self-help books andthey're not seeing change.
Hi, that's me.
Okay.
Stop.
And this is from all thefreaking self-help.
(16:48):
I can tell you that right now.
Stop judging yourself for havingnatural human emotions and
natural human responses.
Let me tell you what I mean.
If I break down and look at mysocial media first thing in the
morning, right?
Because I don't like to do that.
But if I do it, I would get somorning ruined, right?
And I'm still working on thisone, guys.
(17:09):
Like, I would get so criticalabout myself for looking at
that, that now I'm adding, I'madding suffering to my life.
Instead of just being like,okay, I looked at my social
first thing in the morning.
I know I want to be better aboutthat.
But my brain would be like, mmm,you did the wrong thing.
The right thing would have beento do your four visualizations.
(17:29):
You hopped up, you looked atyour phone.
Now the day is ruined.
What?
What?
No.
The other one is emotions.
Being a securely attached personis a thing that I started being
like, I want that.
I want to be a secure inrelationship, secure in
finances.
And that doesn't mean thatthings don't hurt.
(17:49):
Like rejection doesn't hurt,that I can't cry like when my
heart gets broken, that I'mgonna have not have like sad
days.
Sometimes we just wake up sad.
But what I would do is I wouldstart beating myself up for
waking up sad instead of justletting myself be like, okay,
I'm a human.
Every butt day is not gonna be100.
(18:10):
So I woke up sad the day.
All right, but I would justlatch on to that sadness and
then I'd beat the fuck out ofmyself for being sad, which
would just perpetuate moresadness, and then just spiral
down from there.
It's okay if you wake up alittle catty one day.
It's okay if you wake up alittle sad one day.
It's okay if you don't know why,but stop getting married to it.
(18:33):
Stop judging yourself for havingemotions.
Another one I am really criticalof is wanting people to like me
and wanting external validation.
I can get so hard on myselfbecause I want people to like
like what I'm doing.
Hello, that's human.
You know how many hours a week Ispend on my content?
Of course I want people to likethat shit.
(18:55):
I want people to follow mycontent.
I want people to someday pay mefor my content.
I put a lot of fucking work intothis content.
You best your ass that I want tomake some money for it.
That's okay.
That's human.
My point in all that, gettingout of that was starting to be
okay with me having humanemotions and human responses to
(19:16):
things.
Everything doesn't have to besome deep philosophical therapy
self-help discovery.
It can be you woke up sad, or itcan be you woke up happy, or it
can be you wanna be likedbecause we're human.
The last thing I want to talkabout around this was doing what
I want to do and doing itconsistently, doing it
(19:39):
realistically, and doing it forme first and trusting myself
that it's gonna work out.
All this is a learning process,all this is a slow grow, you
know, kind of vibe.
But an example of this is myYouTube channel.
And instead of feeling this rushand like feeling like I have to
(20:03):
do this, you these YouTubevideos and and like trying to
make them what they're not, makethem into something that I'm I'm
not yet, actually finding a wayto have joy around them.
And what that looks like is Iknow that I want this to be like
lifestyle and my growth and myexperiences and learning and
evolving, but I have to show upas me and my life right now.
(20:24):
I can't show up as the girl thathas it all figured out because I
don't, you know, like I'mfiguring this shit out as I go.
I also change my energy aroundhow I do these videos.
Like I danced before I did thisvideo.
I just danced in my room to somegood music because that's the
energy I want to bring intothis.
And if I feel really down, Idon't want to film a video on
(20:47):
that day because I want to havefun doing this.
And by doing what I can do, whatI can control consistently, it
takes ownership over my life.
I can't control how many peoplesee this video.
I cannot control when I makemoney at this.
I can't control how many likesit gets.
(21:09):
I can't control how manysubscribers it gets.
I can't control a lot of stuff,but I can control making these
videos, I can control showing upand making these videos weekly.
And that helps because it'staking ownership over the things
that I want in my life.
I hope this helped.
I hope that this felt like youand I were just having a
(21:31):
conversation because we are.
If you like this episode, if youlike the podcast, if you like
me, like, comment, subscribe,follow.
You know the things.
I I'm on so many platforms.
You know the thing to do.
Whatever platform you like, dothat thing.
And yeah, I can't wait to talkto you guys in the next one.
Guys, gals, whatever.
I mean it synonymously,synonymously, unanimously,
(21:53):
whatever.
I'm not a writer.
Okay, peace.
I love you guys.
Bye.
Hi, everybody.
Welcome back to IM Me.
I'm your host, Liz Bachman, andtoday we are talking about
something I am very, veryexcited to talk about because
I'm learning it right now, and Iknow I'm not the only one.
I'm gonna talk about how I ambreaking my negative cycles and
shifting out of my limitingbeliefs.
And I know that this is a hottopic item, right?
We hear about this one all thetime that if we can shift our
(00:24):
limiting beliefs, we can in turnshift our subconscious, which
shifts our reality.
And who doesn't want that whenwe feel like we are constantly
in a negative loop or repeatingpatterns or behaviors that we
don't like?
And if you are an overthinkerlike me, then this episode is
for you because I want theblueprint.
I want the tell me to do this,this, this, and this so that I
(00:45):
can get the thing that I want.
But unfortunately for usoverthinkers, when we are
dealing with this kind of stuffand this internal work, it is
not black and white and it neverwill be.
So these are things that I'mdoing that are actually helping
me and changing me.
I can feel that they're changingme.
And I hope that you can relateto them and that they give you a
(01:07):
little bit of hope and maybe youcan implement some of these
things to help yourself in theprocess.
So I think first, like maybetalk about how I have a very,
like, very loud inner criticrealizing that my mornings were
starting to start with just thenegative loop.
It's gonna be a bad day.
I have to go to the job that Idon't like.
It's just how am I getting outof this?
(01:28):
Da-da-da-da.
And of course, there's otherthings in play in terms of lack.
I know, big trigger words, lackmindset, scarcity mindset,
abundance, all that kind ofstuff.
But more than anything, what Iwas seeing was the negative
loops that I was getting stuckin in my day-to-day.
I first had to come to termswith part of the problem is me.
(01:49):
I am the one that is constantlywaking up and feeding myself the
narrative that today's gonna bebad and that I'm doing the same
thing and that I'm stuck where Iam.
If you feel stuck, you're notstuck.
If you feel stuck in the job,relationship with your finances,
that's a big one.
You know, all the big touchytopics.
That's a thing with thesetopics, we all hit them, right?
(02:09):
We all deal with them.
But if you feel stuck, you'renot.
There is always a way out.
You can get another job, you canget out of that relationship,
you can make more money.
And if you feel like you can't,you can.
Uh, it might take time and itmight take a little bit of work,
and it might take internal work.
Probably that's the mostimportant one is the internal
(02:30):
work, honestly.
But you freaking can.
You're not stuck.
Anyway, I feel like tellingmyself I was stuck was me
perpetuating this negativityloop, which reinforced the
limiting beliefs that I had.
I'm stuck and this is what itis, and I don't know how to get
out of this.
And then I'd start panicking onlike how I can get out of this
situation as quickly as possiblewhile constantly pumping
(02:52):
negativity into my life.
I could not be in my day becauseI didn't like my day, but there
became a point where the numbingwasn't working anymore, right?
Like television, food, drugs,alcohol, whatever your numbing
thing is.
It just wasn't working for meanymore.
I go to food and television alot, and I just was like, I
can't watch another my numbingshow or eat another pizza.
(03:12):
Oh, I'm wearing my pizza shirt.
That's funny.
But I can't eat another pizza tosuppress this because I'm too
aware of the fact that I am inthis like miserable loop.
So that was the first thing Ihad to do was realize that I was
perpetuating the misery to acertain extent, which was not
the most fun thing to come toterms with, in all honesty.
(03:34):
We don't ever like to think thatwe're the problem, right?
But um, I very much was in thatway.
And then I had to do somethingabout it really quick, going
with the misery loop.
I don't know, I'm sure peoplehave heard about confirmation
bias and stuff like that.
I'm actually gonna pull up andread the definition of
confirmation bias if you haven'theard it, because it's
(03:57):
important.
Okay.
Confirmation bias, the tendencyto interpret new evidence as
confirmation of one's existingbeliefs or theories.
Let's talk about it real quick.
So I have the story that my lifeis miserable, I'm stuck in this
job, I'm never gonna get out ofthis job, I'm not gonna make
money.
I'm constantly confirming thatwith waking up with my negative
feedback.
I mean, that was the what I'mtelling myself when I'm waking
(04:20):
up is that.
And it really the first shiftfor me was starting to wake up
and tell myself somethingdifferent.
And the thing that I literallypulled from Joe Dispenza, like
four affirmations, and I'm stilldoing them every morning.
First one was, I am the creatorof my destiny.
And then I take this is allsomething that I just like
learned and I'm doing it.
(04:40):
And I like literally before Ieven get out of my bed, I'm
doing this.
Right.
Affirmation number one, I am thecreator of my destiny.
Then I take two to three minutesand I visualize myself in the
future living the destiny that Iwant.
Also, guys, if you get caught,I'm a person that I'm like, I
don't quite know what I want.
I have an idea, but not quitesure.
That's okay.
Picture one thing that you want.
(05:01):
If you know you want to be in arelationship or married or have
a baby or a certain job orwhatever, just picture that
thing.
You don't have to know it allright now.
We don't know it all.
You're never gonna know it all.
I'm never gonna know it all.
Anyway, the second affirmationis that my energy creates my
reality.
Again, I would spend like two tothree minutes.
(05:22):
I'm still doing this, I don'tknow why I say I would.
I would spend two to threeminutes imagining the type of
energy I want.
For me, confidence, positivity,security is a big one.
I would just sit in that energyin my bed.
What would it feel like for meto be secure and not be worried
about money?
And what would it feel like forme to be confident and also
(05:48):
secure in myself?
Know that like the right peopleand opportunities and all that
are coming.
I'm secure in that.
I'm not worried about it nothappening because it is.
The third affirmation is I amcomplete as I am.
This one was really good for mebecause I really struggle with
feeling like I'm not enough.
A lot of us struggle with that.
(06:09):
Thank you.
Society, childhood, whatever thething is, social media, I don't
know.
But I would say I'm comp I amalready complete as I am.
And then I would really try tofeel that because it's not like
I don't need another person andI don't need a certain amount of
money, and I don't need acareer, a certain career to
(06:31):
already be complete.
It's not that I can't want thosethings.
Okay, that's where I feel like Iwould get stuck a lot.
I'd be like, oh, I'm completewhere I'm at currently.
So it's wrong for me to want tobe in a romantic relationship.
It's wrong for me to want acertain amount of money.
It's wrong for me to wantbecause I'm supposed to already
feel whole and complete and allthat.
(06:51):
It's it's not that, which is ifyou're an overthinker like me,
like, yeah, it's that goes blackand white thinking, right,
wrong.
It's not that, okay?
I'm complete as I am.
And just sit in that.
Can we just sit in that togetherfor a second?
That'd be awesome.
I'm complete as I am.
You are complete as you areright now.
I don't care what weight youare, how much money's in your
(07:12):
bank account, I don't care whatyour relationship status looks
like, I don't care what your jobis, you right now are complete
as you are.
And I would try to concentratethat energy of peace and
completeness in me and sit withthat for two to three minutes.
That does not mean that youdon't get to want the things you
(07:36):
want.
That doesn't mean you don't wanta different future.
You can still be complete andwant to be in love.
You can still be complete andwant to have a certain amount of
money, you can still be completeright now in this moment and
want to get healthier.
That doesn't mean that you don'twant those things.
And that was such the reason I'mlike spending time on this, is
(07:56):
that was such a big thing for mebecause I was like, oh, if I'm
complete right now, like I'llzen the freak out.
That means that I can't wantthese other things.
And it's like, no, we're human.
We are human.
It's okay for you to want thosethings.
It'd be crazy if you didn't wantthose things.
It's okay for you to want morefor yourself.
But the switch up is that thatdoesn't mean that you're not
(08:17):
complete and whole right now.
That's the thing that I want toland.
The fourth one is I am connectedto limitless opportunities.
And weirdly, when I really tuneinto that, like sitting there
again, spend the two to threeminutes focusing on it.
I almost like a montage goingsuper quick, or like stars like
(08:38):
that are connecting.
The dots are connecting in mybrain, is kind of how that works
for me.
I can see my mentor, musiciansI've worked with, people I've
met along the way, people I'vemet 10 years ago.
I guess people's a big one.
All these people are connectedand the doors and the
opportunities are opening.
And yeah, so that was the thatwas the first thing.
After like realizing that I wasperpetuating this negativity
(08:58):
loop or victimhood or whatever,I wanted to start my day because
I was I was starting my day insuch a negative energy.
I felt it when I wake, woke up.
I felt like this is it, this ismy life before I even get out of
my bed, do those fouraffirmations and sit with them
and just spend instead ofhitting snooze for another 10
minutes, I would, I would dothat.
I also have to remind myselfit's okay that I'm bad at it
(09:19):
sometimes.
Sometimes I it is great.
I am locked in and we are inthose four affirmations,
thriving.
And sometimes it's really hardto sit in that space and hold
that space for myself.
And that doesn't mean I'm doingit wrong.
That just means that I'm a humanand my life is lifing.
And so it's okay if you're allover the place sometimes, and
it's okay if you're really tunedin other times.
(09:41):
And this isn't about you gettingit right.
This is just about you gettingyour energy centered first thing
in the morning.
The other thing I did, I had torealize what people have put on
me throughout my life that Ihave now taken as truth.
And a really good, I can'tremember who said this.
It might have been my mentor, itmight have been in a podcast,
but they were talking about ifyou were like a white sheet of
(10:02):
paper when you're born, and thenpeople stick stuff on you.
You're too much, you're tooloud, you're not enough, you
need to be more quiet, you needto be, you need to be more loud,
you need, you know, we all theshit that gets thrown on us,
just being a human in thisworld, especially in childhood,
growing up, parents, teachers,friends, us trying to figure it
out, society, social media,entertainment, whatever, you
know, whatever's been thrown onyou.
(10:23):
What are you actually believingthat isn't true?
Too much is a big, big one forme.
I'm very energetic.
I can be super silly over thetop.
And there's a fear that if I'mthat, if I release the lid on
that and I just let myself beall of me, that people are gonna
be like, uh, she's a lie, orshe's an attention hog, or she
(10:45):
wants people to care and shewants attention and she wants
people to look at her when inactuality it's just how I am.
And I do like attention, whodoesn't, first of all?
But I also am just naturallyreally silly and goofy and
energetic and other other thingswith that.
Like, oh, if she's she's tooover the top, she's too much,
(11:07):
who's gonna want to work withme?
What clients will I get?
If I'm too much, too over thetop, will I even build a
following?
Will people think I'm a tryhard?
Okay, that might not be yourthing.
That's just mine, speaking frommy experience.
Who put this too much on me?
And why am I so worried aboutbeing too much?
Because the negativity is whatI'm pumping into me when in
(11:28):
actuality I have proof thatpeople like my too muchness.
Not everybody.
That's okay.
I do not want 8 billion peopleto like me.
That sounds exhausting.
But in fact, some people loveit.
Some people love my goofyover-the-top energy.
Some people love the fact thatI'm not filtered and they don't
know what's gonna come out of mymouth or what I'm gonna do.
(11:50):
News flash, I don't know.
I don't know if I'm gonna on awalk start frolicking or trying
to climb a tree.
You know, I don't know why thatwas the example.
But some people love that andsome people are gonna fucking
hate it.
Okay.
My therapist literally asked me,what would happen if this this
lid that you have on me being soterrified of being too much, if
(12:10):
we just pop that thing and justlet let all of me explode.
And the fear is I'd lose people.
But the truth is I'd alsoprobably find people.
I might lose people, but thoseare people I don't want.
And the right people would findme.
And that's really exciting.
Another thing I had to learn isrealizing what I put on myself
and learning to catch that.
So a good example of this for meis like anxious attachment, I
(12:34):
feel like.
If you don't know what that is,it's has to do with
relationships and the attachmentstyles and all that.
And I'm not a therapist, somaybe I'll make a video on some
on it at some point.
And I think if if you're someonewho's read a lot of self-help
books or listened to a lot ofself-help podcasts, you can
start putting stuff on yourself.
That's like, why?
Why are we putting that onourselves?
And the reason I brought upanxious attachment is I started
(12:56):
saying, I am anxiously attached.
I am an anxiously attached.
And I'm like, no, I struggledwith anxious attachment in one
relationship.
That does not mean that I am ananxiously attached person.
That doesn't mean that I can'tbe secure in another
relationship.
You news flash, thatrelationship didn't last.
That relationship ended.
That relationship was not a goodfit for me, which is probably
(13:18):
why there was anxiety around it.
So I think I started becomingreally careful with I am
statements.
I am anxiously attached, I amnot enough.
I am it's the stuff that Istarted feeding myself like self
that I say to myself regularly.
And it's not all about like I amaffirmations.
(13:39):
It's just noticing what you arebelieving, like what you put on
yourself at some point and whatyou're believing.
Another big one for me is moneythat I believe around money I
should have to scrape by andjust barely make the ends meet.
And it doesn't even matter thatmaybe I pick that up from
someone else at some point.
(14:00):
At a certain point, I startedmaking it my thing.
I started making it mynarrative.
The reason I say this and Iseparate it from the other point
is it's easy to figure out likea lot of times what other people
put on you, but at a certainpoint, you've aged so much that
you've just completely takenthat on as your own.
So figure out what other peopleare saying about you that you're
(14:20):
believing that's not true, butalso figure out what you're
saying about yourself thatyou're believing that's not
true, and just start trying tocatch them.
This is all gonna take time,okay?
I'm still doing this shit.
I'm still figuring this out,okay?
I just try to catch it.
Like when I'm like, I'manxiously attached, I'm like,
no, I'm not.
I'm not anxiously attached.
(14:41):
There's nothing wrong with me.
I am not broken.
Or when I say something like,I'm always just gonna struggle
with money.
No, I'm not.
I found three pennies the otherday.
Three on the ground, right nextto each other.
That might sound small to you,but you want to hear what's
really cool.
I've been doing this thing wherewhen I find a penny on the
ground, I get really freakingexcited about it.
(15:01):
Truly.
And it felt kind of silly atfirst.
I started doing this.
When I'd find a penny, I'd treatit like how I would if I found a
hundred dollars on the ground,right?
And at first it did feel sillyto have such a reaction because
if I found a hundred dollars onthe ground, I'd be like, woohoo!
Yeah.
Well, honestly, actually, that'snot true.
I would try to find who that$100belonged to.
(15:23):
But if nobody claimed it andthen they were like, you keep
it, it's yours, whoever thesepeople are, then be celebrating
hardcore, you know?
My point in all this is Istarted doing that with a penny,
and I've been finding pennies,and every time I do it, it's
kind of fun now when I find apenny because that just
naturally happens.
Like it's it's in the brain.
It's it's what my body's like,oh, when we find a penny, for
(15:43):
whatever reason, this bitch hassome crazy, excited, joyous
moment.
Well, yesterday I was with myfriend Aurora and I found three
print pennies.
And when I tell you, sheprobably thought I was like on
drugs, the way I was bouncingoff the wall over the fact that
I found three.
I looked like a toddler who hadjust in it in the middle of the
square with people around.
I don't care because I was like,what?
(16:04):
It's coming.
And that was one of the waysthat I started shifting my
mindset around this stuff.
That was one of the ways thatI'm trying to rewrite the
narrative that this the belief,this that I can't make money,
that like money is not coming tome.
Money's all around me.
What are you talking about?
I know it's easier said thandone, but you have to catch the
thoughts first.
Get excited a pit about a penny.
(16:26):
I'm telling you, try that shit.
Like if if if if money is athing for you, then go start
getting excited about yourfreaking penny.
Okay.
This one is for my self-helpers,the ones who have binge the fuck
out on self-help books andthey're not seeing change.
Hi, that's me.
Okay.
Stop.
And this is from all thefreaking self-help.
(16:48):
I can tell you that right now.
Stop judging yourself for havingnatural human emotions and
natural human responses.
Let me tell you what I mean.
If I break down and look at mysocial media first thing in the
morning, right?
Because I don't like to do that.
But if I do it, I would get somorning ruined, right?
And I'm still working on thisone, guys.
(17:09):
Like, I would get so criticalabout myself for looking at
that, that now I'm adding, I'madding suffering to my life.
Instead of just being like,okay, I looked at my social
first thing in the morning.
I know I want to be better aboutthat.
But my brain would be like, mmm,you did the wrong thing.
The right thing would have beento do your four visualizations.
(17:29):
You hopped up, you looked atyour phone.
Now the day is ruined.
What?
What?
No.
The other one is emotions.
Being a securely attached personis a thing that I started being
like, I want that.
I want to be a secure inrelationship, secure in
finances.
And that doesn't mean thatthings don't hurt.
(17:49):
Like rejection doesn't hurt,that I can't cry like when my
heart gets broken, that I'mgonna have not have like sad
days.
Sometimes we just wake up sad.
But what I would do is I wouldstart beating myself up for
waking up sad instead of justletting myself be like, okay,
I'm a human.
Every butt day is not gonna be100.
(18:10):
So I woke up sad the day.
All right, but I would justlatch on to that sadness and
then I'd beat the fuck out ofmyself for being sad, which
would just perpetuate moresadness, and then just spiral
down from there.
It's okay if you wake up alittle catty one day.
It's okay if you wake up alittle sad one day.
It's okay if you don't know why,but stop getting married to it.
(18:33):
Stop judging yourself for havingemotions.
Another one I am really criticalof is wanting people to like me
and wanting external validation.
I can get so hard on myselfbecause I want people to like
like what I'm doing.
Hello, that's human.
You know how many hours a week Ispend on my content?
Of course I want people to likethat shit.
(18:55):
I want people to follow mycontent.
I want people to someday pay mefor my content.
I put a lot of fucking work intothis content.
You best your ass that I want tomake some money for it.
That's okay.
That's human.
My point in all that, gettingout of that was starting to be
okay with me having humanemotions and human responses to
(19:16):
things.
Everything doesn't have to besome deep philosophical therapy
self-help discovery.
It can be you woke up sad, or itcan be you woke up happy, or it
can be you wanna be likedbecause we're human.
The last thing I want to talkabout around this was doing what
I want to do and doing itconsistently, doing it
(19:39):
realistically, and doing it forme first and trusting myself
that it's gonna work out.
All this is a learning process,all this is a slow grow, you
know, kind of vibe.
But an example of this is myYouTube channel.
And instead of feeling this rushand like feeling like I have to
(20:03):
do this, you these YouTubevideos and and like trying to
make them what they're not, makethem into something that I'm I'm
not yet, actually finding a wayto have joy around them.
And what that looks like is Iknow that I want this to be like
lifestyle and my growth and myexperiences and learning and
evolving, but I have to show upas me and my life right now.
(20:24):
I can't show up as the girl thathas it all figured out because I
don't, you know, like I'mfiguring this shit out as I go.
I also change my energy aroundhow I do these videos.
Like I danced before I did thisvideo.
I just danced in my room to somegood music because that's the
energy I want to bring intothis.
And if I feel really down, Idon't want to film a video on
(20:47):
that day because I want to havefun doing this.
And by doing what I can do, whatI can control consistently, it
takes ownership over my life.
I can't control how many peoplesee this video.
I cannot control when I makemoney at this.
I can't control how many likesit gets.
(21:09):
I can't control how manysubscribers it gets.
I can't control a lot of stuff,but I can control making these
videos, I can control showing upand making these videos weekly.
And that helps because it'staking ownership over the things
that I want in my life.
I hope this helped.
I hope that this felt like youand I were just having a
(21:31):
conversation because we are.
If you like this episode, if youlike the podcast, if you like
me, like, comment, subscribe,follow.
You know the things.
I I'm on so many platforms.
You know the thing to do.
Whatever platform you like, dothat thing.
And yeah, I can't wait to talkto you guys in the next one.
Guys, gals, whatever.
I mean it synonymously,synonymously, unanimously,
(21:53):
whatever.
I'm not a writer.
Okay, peace.
I love you guys.
Bye.
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