Ever felt like the acting industry was a lone wolf's territory, filled with competition and solitary struggles? Gabrielle Byndloss and Sam Valentine, two seasoned actors, have shaken up that narrative by creating a haven for their peers. Their shared journey, encompassing the highs and lows of an actor's life, unfolds in this episode as they talk about the Membership, a community designed to empower and support actors away from the industry's harsh realities.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everyone, welcome back to I Am Me podcast.
Today, I'm very excited I'msitting down with two guests,
which is a first for me.
I am joined by GabrielleBen-Loss and Sam Valentine.
They're both two incrediblytalented boss women in their own
right, but they're also bothactors, content creators.
Sam has her own podcast calledOne Broke Actress.
(00:20):
Gabrielle creates amazingcontent on Instagram and TikTok
with a lot of great advice foractors.
Honestly, both of them have somuch great advice for actors.
They're fun, silly, fearless,independent women who I admire
and respect, and the two of themcame together to create a
kick-ass online community foractors like myself called the
(00:40):
Membership, and I am superexcited to sit down and talk
with both of you today.
So how?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
are you guys doing Doing good?
Thank you for having us.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
I love being on other people's podcasts.
I'm thrilled to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I'm super excited and I feel like it might be a
little easier because you justget to show up and you don't
have to worry about all thestuff that happens after this
one hour that we have together.
Yep, I'm just on the ride.
Exactly, I want to dive intothe Membership how you two came
together to create that, howy'all crossed paths, and also
what the Membership is to youguys in your own words.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Yeah, I'll kick it off, because I actually just
found this journal entry in myGoodNotes pages a couple of days
ago and I sent it to Gabrielle.
So Gabrielle and I wereinternet friends.
We met TA-ing a class atMornell Studios online and I
said let's meet, let's havecoffee over the phone and
Gabrielle begrudgingly said yes,and it turned out that we
(01:37):
couldn't get off the phone witheach other and we just had a
really great relationship and wewere doing similar things.
We were both active workingactors who were also presenting
ourselves on the internet andsharing our day-to-day life in a
realistic manner, and I admireit so much because I know how
hard it is.
And when I met someone who wasdoing a similar thing from a
totally different world, I waslike I need to know this person.
(02:00):
And then we just kind of neverstopped calling each other.
And I think this is part of thereason we created the
Membership is we realized thatevery actor needs someone to
lean on who understands whatthey're going through and
understands what they might needat any moment.
And one day I was writing and Ihad.
You know, we both have so muchgoing on in our side worlds as
(02:23):
well as our acting careers and Iwrote down in my journal like I
just feel like I need to dothis with Gabrielle.
I feel like we need to havesome sort of like community
together.
I feel like she could handlecalls, I feel like she would
talk to actors so well, likeshe's so confident and
charismatic.
I just want her.
And that day I was like, hey,we've never met in person, but
(02:46):
would you ever be interested instarting a business together
based on what we already do?
Just let me know.
Also, if this is an insanevoicemail, please just ignore it
and I'll let you take it fromme.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah, I think that you know, I always admired what
Sam was doing.
She'd been doing it for so longand so much more before anybody
, I think, took social mediaseriously, and so I was honored
that she asked to go intobusiness together, but also
nervous, because I knew what herfollowing was like and I didn't
want her to feel like I wastaking any bit of what she's
already created and capitalizingoff of it.
(03:23):
I had come from a background ofhaving some amazing bookings
and losing a lot of peoplebecause of it, because, as we
know, everybody's yourcheerleader until you quote,
unquote, surpass them and thenthey're like what am, what is
she doing that I'm not doing,and things got really nasty.
So when I had looked intoteaching at Mornell Studios, it
was actually because I was likeI want people to know that I
(03:44):
actually know what I'm doing.
It's not like I lucked out,this is something I've worked
hard for.
And then when I started showingup at social media, it was to
show people like here's theother side of my life, like I
know you're seeing bookings, buthere's all the nitty gritty
that happens leading up to it.
And what I found was I don'thave a heart for teaching acting
classes.
It's not my jam, but I do havea heart for empowering people,
(04:05):
especially actors, and so, sinceI had figured that out so late
in the game in my opinion, sam'srequest of what if we started
business together I was superintimidated because I was like I
don't even know if I haveanything to offer as far as
bringing people in.
I know I have something tooffer as far as what I'm going
to say, but, like, this is goingto be built on your following
and you're falling alone and, tobe honest, I think the first
time we opened our doors it wasbuilt on OBA is following, and
(04:28):
what's lovely is those OGmembers already had gone through
so much with Sam that they knewwhat they were getting into and
I didn't have to mute myself orchange myself for anything else
.
And then from there, it's justbeen this progressive growth of
people that I have followed mefrom Instagram or from TikTok
that I think we're also a littleconfused as to like, wait a
second, I've never seen thesetwo together and now I'm seeing
(04:48):
them together all the time andwe're like we get it.
We were never together either.
I'm actually going to see herfor the second time in our
entire life in person in March.
So I know it's a weirdrelationship, yeah, but here we
are and ultimately we justwanted to bring to other actors
what the two of us had of like asafe space to go through all
those crazy thoughts that wehave as a sounding board.
(05:09):
That wasn't going to havejudgment or competition
happening at the same time, yeah, and to I think I want to note
too.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
There was something when Gabrielle was like oh, I
don't want to take advantage ofyou.
I was like I don't want you tothink I'm taking advantage of
you because you have morecredits than I do.
You're a black woman in theindustry.
I don't want you to think Ijust want to be with you for
some sort of diversity quota.
I just fucking love you.
And I see I knew I would curseright away and I was like this
is just.
(05:37):
This is just, I want this and Idon't want you to think I'm
taking advantage of you.
So this is a concept back andforth.
We have of like making surewe're taking care of each other,
which is the gift of this all.
So the membership is reallythat it's.
It's a safe space for actors tocome.
It's not an acting class,because we think that we have
plenty of those.
There's a lot of people whoteach acting incredibly well,
(05:58):
some of which we have comemonthly to the membership to
work on that with our actors,and we have so many resources
and so many things to share withpeople, and we think the
community has so much to sharewith each other that we wanted
to make the world feel a littleless crazy, a little less of us
stuck in our echo chambers, andgive everyone just a safe place.
So, whether that's via an emailor an online Slack channel, or
(06:21):
a monthly call like every otherweek with us, you know we just
we wanted people to feel what wefeel about this business.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I also I like what both of y'all said, because even
it's funny how we just have somany insecurities, like as
people, but also as women, andeven I took me forever to even
ask to you to be on my podcastbecause I was like same thing I
have like 50 followers on mypodcast Instagram, so I know how
(06:49):
hard, that is.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
So I respect those 50 people.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
What I try to.
That's what I try to remindmyself be grateful, Like you
have people who are listening,but it's also, I understand, a
lot of my listens come from thepeople that I am interviewing.
So I don't want people like Igenuinely just want to sit down
and talk to people, but I don'twant people to feel like I'm
trying to take advantage of them.
So it's funny that y'all bothhit on having that same feeling
(07:16):
when y'all first connected.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I think it's so funny what we've been fed as far as
media goes, like you can't bewomen in business together, you
have to be women in businesscompeting, and so I'm sure
that's where it comes from.
But just so you know, it onlyfelt like you were like hey, I
just want to talk to you guys.
Can we put it in my podcast?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Good yeah, we're all a bunch of actors.
Give us an opportunity to talkon a microphone or do our own PR
.
Are you joking?
We love it.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Right, I know, I know I feel like I plug myself as
much as I plug the people Iinterview on here, but that's
what makes me me Okay.
The membership, from what I cansee, is doing incredibly well.
So what do you think BecauseI've seen other people try and
do acting communities and I'mfortunate to be a part of the
membership so what do you thinkYouTube bring to it that makes
(08:04):
it do so well?
Because it does feel it is sucha safe space.
And there's other communitiesI've tried to join won't name
names that don't have that, thatimmediately have like a kind of
cutthroat trying to be better.
So what do you two do, or whatdo you think you guys bring to
it that makes it feel so safe?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
You know, I think what you get is what you get
with us, and that's what makesit feel safe, because people can
try us out on social mediafirst.
They can watch our stories,they can watch what we post and
be like Okay, do I want to hangout with this person in an
online forum?
Do I want to be on calls withthis person?
And then when they do decide tojoin the membership, they
realize that there isn't anychange.
What you get on IG is what youget in the membership, and I
(08:46):
think that creates the safetynet, because people are like
Okay, so they are who they saythey are and I can be who I say
I am.
It's not like I'm entering intopaying them now and they've put
themselves on a pedestal toensure that I stay here.
It's like we're very open aboutwe both have different
experiences in this career andhere's some things that worked
for us, but the community isonly as strong as everybody
(09:07):
working together.
And then, on the other side ofthat, I just think we're really
for lack of better word likepretty fucking cool people, and
that isn't what everybody is.
You know, there are a lot oftimes when people are just in
this to either make money or tobe able to feel like they're
helping other actors, and sothat, in turn, makes them feel
(09:29):
like they're a better actor.
And it's like we have no agendawith the membership except for
to offer what Sam and I offer toeach other.
And I think that makes uspretty fucking cool, because
it's like if everybody decidesto quit tomorrow, then it's like
, ok, we still did what wewanted to do.
We gave people what we had, andthat was the whole goal.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
It was never to make money, well, and I think too,
like part of what makes you guysso great is.
This isn't going to be apodcast of me just telling you
how great you are, but it mightbe no, but if you want to,
that's also fine.
Really I'm very embarrassed ofyou.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Girl keep going.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
So it's like the fact that you are comfortable to
stand in your power and saywe're fucking cool people and
own that and no, it's true, andnot say it in a conceded way,
like I think that's part ofy'all's appeal, because there is
a confidence with you guys, notin like an asshole, arrogant
way.
And yeah, like we know what webring to the table, we know our
(10:26):
worth and I don't know.
I just think, like when peoplecan say, yeah, I'm fucking cool,
I'm not an asshole about it,but I'm fucking cool, and take
me or leave me and I just, Idon't know.
That's something to aspire toand something that I think does
set you guys apart.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
That's really cool to hear from someone who's who's
on the inside of it Like thatmeans a lot.
Because I also think what makesit really special is that we've
both been in the trenches ofthis career in such different
capacities and while both of usknow that people can look in on
our careers and see us assuccessful, we're like and also
(11:05):
we want X, y and Z.
So it's been a struggle for usboth, at different points in our
lives, to stand in our powerand say like we are damn good at
this job and we are worthy ofpeople you know paying for our
time, whether it's on a set oron a one-on-one call or whatever
it is, and that has taken a lotof work, depending on.
(11:26):
You know our internal struggles.
Where we're out of the time, welike to pretend like bookings
don't matter, but they feel likethey matter a lot when your
business is based on helpingactors and being able to get
past that and continue workingin this job without the
accolades that we are told makeyou quote, unquote good at this
job Like that's some powerfulshit, because then everything's
(11:49):
up to you.
You get to say when you'redoing well, you get to take that
back, us having to learn thosehard lessons and relearn them
over and over again.
Live with our people.
It makes it not a powerstructure.
It's not like we are in chargeand we're like, yes, we, we had
instant career success and yousee that you see people who had
(12:09):
really lucky beginning of theircareers and they will eventually
teach or start you knowsomething of their own, which is
awesome, and I think it's goodfor everyone to like share what
they know and what they'velearned.
But when you've battled like wehave to come from nothing, you
get a different perspective onthis job and you get a different
(12:30):
respect for the people who arewilling to stay in it without
signs of success, and that issomething I want everyone to
think about when they come intothe membership.
I want them to know they'realready succeeding because they
get to spend one hundred andfifteen dollars a month on a
community Like that's a, that'sa privilege man.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I feel like I should just play that like little sound
bite over and over again,because bookings do feel like
they hold so much weight and youcan't call yourself an actor
until you've booked.
And I've been at this for likeseven years and I just have not.
I've gotten a lot of auditionsbut I've just not got what I
thought I would get.
And I think there comes timeswhen I want to quit because I
(13:12):
feel like I haven't proved tomyself that I am what I say I am
or I can do what I say I can do.
And I know one of my questionswas actually for you, Gabrielle.
I know that you talked aboutI've just heard it in passing.
I know you've talked about itat some point that you were
considering quitting, actingprior to starting the membership
.
Do I have that right?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
I was considering dropping, acting in the middle
of the membership.
It was last year, like after wehad started the community, like
Sam was so great into listeningand being like cool.
My business partner that I justwanted to be a partnership with
is about to quit acting.
But that's fine, we'll figureit out.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
We were just like we were just on a, we were on an
office hours call and you'relike, yeah, I'm just not sure if
this is, I'm going to thinkabout it and I was like mm.
Hmm.
And in my head I was like mm.
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
So will you touch on that?
Well, I want to hear from bothof you, but I'll throw the mic
to you first, gabrielle.
Will you touch on that selfdoubt and that feeling of
inadequacy?
Voice is just human andwhatever you do, so what for you
, I guess, motivated you orchanged that for you to keep
going?
And then to both of you, whatdo y'all do when you hear that
(14:18):
self doubt that you know areintercritic, that voice of
feeling like you're not goodenough or you're not doing what
you feel like you should bedoing at this point?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Well, I gotta call it out again, like the only reason
why we feel like bookings arethe measure of success as to
being an actor is because ofwhat everybody else puts on us,
because the first thing thathappens when you say I'm an
actor is cool, what have youbeen in?
And if you don't have an answerto that, it's an immediate so
you're trying to be an actor.
No, no, no, I'm an actor, butyou haven't been in anything.
So that rig of my role that wego through every single time,
(14:48):
please a thing on our psyche andit makes us feel like, ok, so I
have to book to be able to besuccessful.
So for me, it was actually theopposite.
I wasn't thinking, oh, Ihaven't booked and I need to
book to be able to stay, to bean actor.
It was the opposite.
It was I have an amazing career, all things that I've worked my
ass off for, all things that Ideserve.
But it's the side that peopledon't want to talk about, where
(15:11):
you realize you thought thatonce you got to a certain level,
you would be so thrilled withthis career and you would feel
like I did it.
Man, I'm an actor, I'mincredible, and I'm here to tell
you that you feel that whenyou're on set there and the
second you leave, it goes rightback to that same feeling that
you have, liz, of like, when amI ever going to book something?
And nothing is ever good enough, and as a human in this world,
(15:34):
I struggle a lot with things notbeing good enough in everything
that I do.
I have to, like say I must havewatched me try my best to try
things I'm not going to be greatat, because I will quit and not
do it If I'm not great at it.
And so I just was really havingan issue with feeling like I
did the thing.
I got amazing bookings, I havean incredible reps, I have
(15:54):
incredible knowledge from this.
Is this something that I wantto continue to have on my plate?
As you still have to hustle, youstill have to try, you still
have to do more, because, at theend of the day, I got into this
career to inspire other peopleof color to be in this career,
and I was doing it in a biggerway without being on set, and so
I was like, is this still theplace that I want to be, which
(16:16):
is like, not the shit people aregoing to tell you, right,
everybody's going to be like,yeah, once you get eight
recurring guest stars, you'relike on top of the world and
you're doing it, and I'm like,no, you actually are still
struggling with the same thingand you start to think, if this
isn't enough, series regular isnot going to be enough, starring
in a movie is not going to beenough.
And so then what's the point?
You're chasing after somethingthat feels like it's never
(16:36):
enough and that was hard for meto, I think, walk through.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
That's so weirdly that landed so in line with
stuff that I've gone through inthe past six months and where
I'm at currently.
I think one of my biggest fearsin life right now is, I think,
knowing just from hearing fromother people that even if I get
the bookings that I want to get,that's not going to be the
(17:02):
thing that's going to satisfy meand give me my worth and my
value, which I think is part ofanother reason like you guys are
so awesome is because, likey'all, I was like y'all sorry, I
heard y'all and I was likeSouthern girl throwing that in
there, but I liked it.
(17:22):
Yeah, thank you, thank you.
But one of the reasons y'allare so amazing is because y'all
take into consideration actorsas people, not actors as little
booking machines, and we are,we're human and we're supposed
to be emotionally vulnerable inall these things.
But then, on the flip side ofthat, there's the how do I
protect myself and know that Ihave my self worth when I'm
(17:47):
constantly expecting otherpeople to tell me, hey, you did
good enough to get this job?
And I think, like that's aninteresting question for you two
about how you, how you navigatethat self worth and your value
that piece of it and what y'alldo, what y'all put in place to
keep yourself, I guess, balancedand grounded and know that you
(18:07):
do have worth and it's not basedon what you're booking or what
you're doing.
And there's life outside ofacting and booking.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Yeah, I'll take that one because, I'll be quite
honest with you, I haven'tbooked a lot in my career.
I go years at a time withoutbeing on a theatrical set up
until you know that.
I think that's going to change.
I think I'm at a place where Iactually own my power now
without that, so I can't wait tosee what happens next.
I've also grown up a lot, butI've I spent.
(18:37):
The reason one book actressexisted is because I spent years
trying to do everything I wassupposed to do.
I checked all the boxes, I didall the actor things, I took all
the workshops, I took all theclasses, I did everything I was
quote unquote supposed to do andI just couldn't understand what
wasn't working.
And so I said, fine, I'm justgoing to talk about it online
(18:59):
because, whatever, what's theworst that could happen?
Things can't get worse, becauseI'm not even auditioning and I
took it to the streets.
I started talking to peopleregularly and I was like what
was it?
What changed for you?
How do you get your mindset andthe?
The consistent story, over andover and over again, is that, to
(19:19):
be quite honest, you have to dothis job for years and years
and years and years.
You have to do it for 10, 15,20 years before you truly get
what we see as momentum and whatthose people who have been in
it for 20 years see as aThursday because it doesn't feel
like momentum to them becausethey've been doing it for so
(19:40):
long.
And the people we see there islike 0.1% of people who come
into this job and they succeedwithin the first 10 years.
The rest of them have been heresince they were born, since
they were two.
You know, emma Stone convincedher parents to drop out of
school when she was like 16 soshe could be in this business.
Of course, she's 35 and beingnominated for Oscars.
(20:00):
She has been here for 20 yearslike kicking butt, and I think
that we we want to, we want topedestal the people who you know
who are, who are 20 years oldand successful, but we forget
that they started either whenthey were two or they're like a
lottery winners and I have toremind myself of that all the
(20:20):
time and that headspace has kindof built me to have the
resilience and have the grit tocontinue to do this job.
And you asked you know, what doyou do on the days where you
question it.
What do you do on the dayswhere it doesn't feel good?
You know what I do?
I call Gabrielle or I send herlike an eight minute voicemail
and I'm like hey, when you havea minute, listen to this and you
(20:42):
don't have to respond.
But like we give each otherfour warnings, like we'll send
ones and we'll say hey, this isbusiness, don't listen to it
until 10am.
Or hey, this is, this isventing, ignore or listen to in
the car.
Like we like preface a lot ofour voice emails to each other,
because sometimes we are longwinded and we vent and we talk
about everything and sometimeswe say like I just want to be
(21:03):
heard and sometimes we say Iwant advice.
And that's part of the reason wehave safe space calls in the
membership where we say you know, this is a place where, before
you talk about what you want,say whether you want help and
advice, or say whether you justwant to speak, and those calls
are powerful and people usuallyend up laughing and crying and
leaving them feeling a differentway, because you have to get
(21:25):
those feelings out of your body,or else they just like sit in
that echo chamber and I sat inthat for so long and as I've
gotten older it's gotten easier,because I've seen life shift,
I've seen priorities change andI see how little the job at the
end of the day is and howimportant coming home to your
(21:46):
home whatever that means to you,is.
And the more I've taken care ofmyself and been able to be
present for people around me,the better my home has been and
that has helped my career atlarge, because I also don't want
to get all the success I wantand come home to an empty house
(22:07):
and not be able to text myfriends.
That's like my biggest fear.
So I think the being a humanoutside of it is just such a
huge part of it.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
With that, I think I connect with both of y'all so
much.
But I feel like I'm pastversions of you guys, Like I'm
in a different spot, Like I'mlike, which makes me feel good
because I'm like okay, they'reokay, they're doing all right.
Yeah, you'll be okay.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
You're going to be fine.
That's it.
Like you're going to be fine.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
I feel like, put y'all together and I'm like, oh,
there's future, me a little bitin there and I'm going to be
okay, but I think we also.
There's also the eat, sleep andgrind mentality and I feel like
I mentioned that on everyfreaking episode.
But I want to hear you to,Gabrielle, because I saw you
posted one of your videos wastalking about what you thought
(22:58):
acting would look like versuswhat it is now and you were
showing.
You'll know which video I'mtalking about.
Maybe I don't know, but it waslike you were working out, doing
yoga, doing like you were.
Just it was like a montage.
What I want to know is I feellike you can bring so much more
to yourself acting wise when youare obviously taking care of
(23:19):
yourself and the other spectrumof life friends, family,
finances, health, wellness.
You know movement, so I want toknow how you started making
those shifts into recognizingthat as just important for
acting, as it is for life.
I guess I don't know if it's agood question, but it's a
(23:40):
question.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yeah, I think there's a couple of things I want to
call out here that facilitatedit.
One I'm in a what was called asmall market for so long, so not
everything around me issurrounded by actors and people
talking about acting, whichenabled me to have perspective
very easily.
I do not have a bunch of actorfriends never have, never will.
(24:04):
Most of my friends don't haveanything to do with acting.
So if I were to try tomanipulate a conversation to be
all about acting, they would cutme off and they would be like
cool, can we talk aboutsomething else?
And so that, I think, allowedme to want different things out
of my life versus the grind ofactor hustle.
Right, like if I lived in LA,from what Sam has told me, like
(24:24):
there was a period of time whereshe felt so much pressure of
like which class was sheteaching at, or was she taking,
whose short film was she workingin, what scripts was she
reading and how is shenetworking at all times Like
circling around that drain ofhow I mean, how am I checking
these things off?
I've never had that drain,because what happens when you're
in a small market is nobodytakes you seriously.
So none of these options wereeven available here in Atlanta
(24:46):
for the longest time.
It was just like a couple ofself-tape places and a couple of
agencies and that's it.
And as it started to blossomand grow, I started to get older
too, and so I just honestlydidn't have the want to do that
type of hustle in that way.
I've always been very moneydriven and I was like I'm not
going to put all of my moneyinto all this actor thing,
because it felt like such aschmooze and I'm not a good
(25:08):
schmoozer, I'm not a good shorttalker and like I just don't
really care about it and humansstress me the fuck out most of
the time that it was like Idon't even know where I'm going
to fit.
If I take these classes andnetworking, people are just
going to get pissed off of mebecause I'm going to say the
wrong thing.
So that's one.
Two, I got my yogacertification in 2012.
So I have always had an eye onmindset and meditation and
(25:32):
stretching in the benefits thatthat does for your body, because
I have struggled my entire lifewith my mental health and so it
was a priority to me.
Because in 2011, I actuallytried to take my life and so it
was like I have to find a way toget out of this.
So mental health and makingsure I find a way to get out of
that drain when it comes up hasalways been the biggest thing.
(25:54):
And then the last thing I willadd is that this entire push
that happened after 2020 aboutbeing in your healthy body and
being strong versus being skinnythat came out and focusing on
mental health after everybodywas at home for so long has
actually pushed, I think, meeven further, because I've been
like okay, now all I'msurrounded by is other people
(26:14):
doing it too.
So if you take all three ofthose things, you realize that,
in my opinion, the acting classis something that you need,
especially when you start out,but something you take lesser of
and you start to go into morefocus on like, where am I not
growing?
Is it comedy?
Great, so I'm going to go to acomedy class, or I'm going to
work on improv versus.
Am I in that ongoing class?
(26:37):
And what happened to me was,when I started to switch that
focus, I started to book a lotmore.
So I was able to put the proofin the pudding and I was like,
wow, the more I work on myself.
The more I go to therapy, themore I focus on meditation, the
more I focus on visualizationand everything else, the more
I'm seeing bookings.
So if that's the case, maybe Ishould keep doing it, and then I
just haven't turned back.
That is my way I project.
(26:59):
You will not see me do selftape.
May you will not even see mejust decide to pull up a script
with a bunch of friends and justget into it.
I just I can't, it's not me.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Well, first of all, I'm very, very grateful that you
are here with us today, but Irelate to that a lot.
Mental health has also been abig struggle for me, and then I
was in like a mental healthoutpatient program for like four
months.
So it's been, I guess, sevenmonths, seven, eight months now,
but still very fresh.
(27:31):
Obviously it's not that farremoved from me.
I appreciate both of you guysvery much and I wing out Bye.
Like I said, I think hearingyou say that and hearing your
story and then hearing both ofy'all, there's just a lot that I
relate to in both of you.
I find both of you incrediblyinspiring, because I think y'all
(27:52):
show me things that I'm hopingfor.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Okay, yeah, I'm just, I'm feeling all the feelings.
I Sorry, Sam, no, it's okay.
No, this is my.
I love this, I love, I love.
I love that our job is talkingto people and getting like their
story and hearing their lifeand like.
Our job as actors is to feelour feelings and and be able to
do it, you know, in front ofother people.
(28:18):
And then do it again and againand again and again.
So listen, I, I think it's,it's and it's.
The word honor doesn't do itenough justice.
When people tell me storieslike you inspire me Because I
was like I'm never gonna beanything in this job I get, I'm
(28:38):
tearing up the sorry.
So close to the period, you know, I didn't think, I thought I
had to, I thought I had to do somuch to earn Love, to earn
Someone's praise, to earn tohear that like I'm the reason
someone moved to LA, or thereason they moved to Atlanta, or
the reason they you know theywanted to, to continue acting,
(28:59):
or the reason they didn't quit,or anything it's.
It takes away I think that'spart of it in the reason I think
I can continue to do thiscareer is this takes away the
pressure, because this is justlike Gabrielle said.
You know, once we startedworking so closely with actors
and realizing that we could havean effect on human life, even
(29:21):
without being in in in somethingthat, in something that people
saw, like In in a you know howto be in an Oscar winning film.
You don't even got a book, ashort film this year you can
still have an impact on people.
Like that is that's what it'sall about at the end of the day,
you know, is is the impact you,you leave behind.
I talk about legacy occasionallywith my husband because we
(29:43):
don't plan on having kids, andyou know it's a.
It's a.
It's a deep conversation to getinto, but Sure, that to me is
that takes a lot of pressure offin it.
Like it makes me really happyto know that sharing, booking an
industrial, or like doing avoiceover, dubbing, or talking
(30:03):
about how we haven't booked andhow I can still find that I have
to theory about like a teaspoonof hope and and finding that in
some capacity, whatever it isfor you today, like if that has
an impact on someone, then, likethe rest is gravy, like I'm, so
I'm so good and I think we allwant to leave.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Have an impact?
I don't know, maybe noteverybody, but I think actors do
.
You know, we all want to matterand I think it's really cool
that it doesn't have to be I'man Oscar winner.
That doesn't necessarily meanthat you mattered or you.
You know like you impactedpeople and All right, I have to
(30:45):
reference my questions becausemy brain is getting
short-circuited.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
I have something that I want to add, liz, that I
don't think you know.
So I now learning thisinformation about you.
It's I just was thinking aboutwhen I was gonna bring this up,
which I don't even think Samknows, but at one point, the way
you got into the membership.
When people work for us as faras mentorship, we allow them to
(31:10):
come into membership wheneverthey want to, and so we open up
spots for like 10 minutes forthem to pop in and get a spot
and be able to be in.
One time I opened a spot for aminty and those 10 minutes she
messaged me and she's like hey,the spots not open anymore.
I'm like what?
She's like the spots not open.
I was like how?
It's not like I publicized oranything else.
You got into the membership.
(31:31):
I called Sam and I'm likesomebody named Liz got into the
membership.
She's like yeah, yeah, you saidyour mentee was gonna be and I
was like my mentee's name is notLiz I don't know who this is,
but she's in and she's like fuck, what are we supposed to do?
And I was like, listen, in the10 minutes that we opened it up,
I think she's meant to be inthe membership.
Like I think that like the, thewater fucking parted and it was
(31:53):
like this bitch needs to be inhere, so we're not gonna do
anything.
And Sam's like I agree, let'snot do anything.
And we have done this multipletimes.
We've let in like six others ofmy mentees.
Never has anybody ever gottenin in those 10 minutes of time,
like I do it at odd times.
You did like so.
Now, hearing what you're sayingand where you've been going and
how you feel about us, I'm like, oh, this makes so much sense
(32:15):
as to why you were able to likeBreak the the status quo and get
in which.
You have no idea.
You probably like great, I'm in, I'm good to go.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Like wow there was one spot and I got it.
Well, what's funny was like Iwas looking you guys several
times but I just, witheverything I was going through,
I was like I don't know, Ireally just was like shelf
acting.
I can't open my heart up tothat right now.
I'm like, yeah, barely hangingon.
And so I looked at you guysseveral times throughout those
(32:44):
months in that program and I waslike you know, not right now.
And then I got out of theprogram and you know, getting
back into working and stuff likethat.
Okay, I, I think I need to dothis.
I don't need to do a class, Idon't need to do something
that's gonna stress me out.
I just think I need a littlesupport on the acting side of
things.
And so it's just, I don't evenremember the time of day or
(33:07):
anything, and I know like y'allopened and closed it and opened
and closed it and I saw thaty'all to opened it and then
Y'all put had posted that it wasclosing again or the date it
was closing.
It was like two days past and Iwas like, and whatever, I'll
look anyway, and it was open.
So I love that because I feellike this has been really good
for me in regards to acting,mental health and how mental
(33:30):
health and acting go together.
Y'all are wonderful for mentalhealth and acting and being a
stable, balanced human withacting and it doesn't have to be
eat, sleep and breathe acting,and I love that.
You said that you're not gonnapull a script up and like read a
(33:50):
script, because I feel like Ishould do that shit.
It's.
You know, you have two hoursbefore bed.
I'm like I want to read a bookor whatever, or do something
else.
I'm like you call yourself anactor, liz.
Why aren't you pulling up afucking script and reading a
script right now?
And I don't fucking want to.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
I thought on this.
Yeah, I want to add to that go.
The chances of you reading abook that's eventually going to
be turned in a script are like anine out of ten.
We think of, we think of actingin just such a linear fashion
of like it's a Audition or anagent meeting or an email or a
script or a submission or thisor a networking event or this or
that.
(34:27):
My whole life has been likeAccidental things.
Like I meet people at the gymand they end up coming on the
podcast and then I end up.
You know, I one of them broughtme in for a show.
I'm nannied for a family andthe dad was a director and after
six years he had a pilot pickedup and he brought me in.
Like it, it's just, it's all somuch like more happenstantial
(34:47):
than we realize and Keepingyourself creatively involved is
is so much more important thanchecking the box Some days.
You need to check the box if youyou know, if you're listening
to this and you're like I'mactually not doing the work.
You know deep down, and I'velearned this because I have to
told, I've taught, had thisconversation with Gabrielle so
many times about like Am I doingenough because I don't audition
(35:09):
that much.
Am I XYZ?
Am I doing this, am I doingthat?
And I occasionally Will pull upa script, but it's because I'm
really excited about that script.
Like someone just sent me oneof their favorite, like they
were like I haven't read a pilotin so long and I read this one.
It's incredible, you'll love it.
So I can't wait to read thatbecause it was sent to me,
because someone thought of me.
But I'm not gonna go like digaround and find you know what's
(35:31):
what's?
Some random show like like Adamfrom accounting Accounts or
whatever, because it's gotpicked up for another season.
Like yes, if you want to, great, but I can't tell you how many
like books I've read that I'vealso seen oh, they're gonna make
that into a show.
And I'm like great, I'm sofamiliar with that IP, I can't
wait for it to happen.
Or podcasts I've listened tothey get turned into shows and I
(35:54):
am over the moon when I seethat they're gonna maybe
audition.
And then I've lined up BookingI the last show I was on set for
Bosch.
My family loves that show, myhusband's family loves it, my
family loves it and I had neversat down and watched the entire
series.
But I knew all about it becauseI was around my family and they
(36:15):
talked about it and they lovedit and my husband has every
Michael Connelly book known toman.
So it's just it's so much moreabout like immersing yourself in
, like creativity and art thanit is like checking a damn box.
Someone's gonna tell yousomething different and they're
gonna hate that answer.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
But, like man, I want you to go read those books, liz
books for me, or either I amall in or I will never pick that
sucker up again.
But diving back into why we'rehere, I wanna know advice you
guys have for actors, eithergetting into this, really, I
(36:49):
wanna know naysayers.
Family can be really impactfulwhen it comes to pursuing acting
.
I swear, I think when I told mydad I wanted to be an actor, he
saw me starving under a bridge.
So family and then also as youfind success I know you touched
on it a little bit, gabrielle,about how people are there until
(37:12):
you're succeeding past them,and I think we see that.
So how do you deal with thatthe naysayers aspect of it, of
people who are there for you andthen all of a sudden it's like,
oh, I'm doing better than you,better whatever, like our
journeys are all so differentand better.
I don't even like that word.
How do you even measure that?
(37:33):
But what advice do you all havefor people that are struggling
with that and the negativitythat comes from the outside
world, not just our internal?
Speaker 2 (37:46):
monologue.
I'm gonna let Sam go first,cause her answer is gonna be
great.
You know it, she helps me a lotof times.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
when naysayers pop in , I was gonna let you go first.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
No bitch, you have to go first.
You're the one who always talksto me through these things.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
I just don't think anybody matters.
I-.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Wow, I envy you.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
I well listen.
I get down about stuff a lotbut at the end of the day nobody
is thinking about you as muchas you are thinking about you.
So nobody's going to bed beinglike man.
I can't believe Liz hasn'tbooked an acting job.
Like nobody is doing that.
And if they are, it means thatlike they're having a rough time
(38:30):
themselves.
Nobody thinks about that stuffbecause life is good.
I tell Gabrielle this all thetime.
All the time.
Like nobody gets on theinternet to comment some
nonsense on one of our postsbecause they've had a good day
right.
Like people aren't being jerkson the internet because their
life is going swimmingly.
It's you become a punching bagand if you realize that the
(38:52):
person punching you is reallysad, it kind of takes away some
of the power.
And I've been really lucky and Ialways want to designate like
the privilege I've had that myparents were super supportive.
When I did plays in high schoolin like the cafeteria and then
said like I'm going to go toschool for acting, they were
like okay, okay, all right, allright, fine, sure.
(39:18):
And then I moved to LA and theywere scared, shitless.
But they were still supportiveand I had, I always knew in the
back of my mind that I couldcall them if shit truly hit the
fan, but they were scared.
So I was like, well, both of uscan't be scared.
So I have to kind of figurethis out, and the thing that
(39:42):
I've had to push past is thewhole well, what are you doing?
What are you working on?
What are what's?
Can you show up, especially inLA?
You look at your window andlike my neighbor's a producer
and he put his screeners out inthe trash yesterday, like
everyone's on something you know.
Like you go, you walk aroundtown and you're like, oh, I know
that person, I know that personand like, do I know them from
(40:04):
the gym or do they know themfrom TV?
It's just, it's a weird town,but it's also magical, if you
choose to see it that way, thatpeople make money in creative
fields and it's not weird.
The thing that you have to ownis when success doesn't go the
way you thought it would, andOne Broke Actress has been my
empowerment into that, becauseit's built a foundation for me
(40:24):
to stand on.
I've built my own platform.
I built my own businesses.
Because I claimed it.
I said, hey, you know what'sfunny, I'm gonna name this One
Broke Actress and watch me makemoney off of it.
And I did.
It was never the plan, but Idid and I do.
And the big, the cool thing isthat, like, now I own it and now
(40:45):
people are like oh, that's socool, one Broke Actress.
Like now people are in on thejoke.
And once you start to own thepower of like yeah, you know,
I'm figuring this out as I go assoon as you start to own it, it
takes away anybody else'sopinion and power.
And the more I own stuff andthe more I invest in the people
who matter and who support meand the more I filter out the
people who don't, the lessaffected I am by all of the
(41:08):
nonsense.
And this is only gonna get morecomplicated as we get more
successful.
I know Gabrielle and I will beunder a bigger microscope and
we'll have to figure out whatthat looks like, as it happens
like when we're in production onsomething but we're still
working our jobs, but we'restill talking about it on the
internet.
I don't know what that's gonnalook like, but I'm down for the
adventure and I think once youget to that point and once
(41:30):
you're in I mean, I'm 35 yearsold.
I have a lot of good friends, Ihave a husband that loves me, I
have successful businesses.
The people who I'm trying toimpress have a lot of shit going
on and I have to sit back andthink like, well, I can't
impress anyone anymore, I justhave to exist.
So that's how I have to comeoff of it.
Gabrielle, have I given youdifferent advice?
(41:52):
What have I told you that hasbeen helpful?
Speaker 2 (41:55):
So I just wanna yeah, I was gonna just highlight what
I think is helpful is theempathetics approach, that you
have to be able to take yourpower back, because on the
in-between, right Between likeI'm gonna be an actor, this is
gonna be great Shit, I'm notbooking, why am I being an actor
?
And then people around youbeing like why are you being an
actor?
You lose your power.
That's essentially what happens, and so being an actor is a
(42:16):
fight of trying to find yourpower to stand in it, versus
when you're going to not standin it and struggle through it,
and it's an ebb and a flow.
It goes back and forward justlike a pendulum.
There are moments when I feellike I'm the best actress in the
world and there are momentswhen I'm like, why the fuck am I
here?
And it happens for all of us.
But you have to find ways tostep back in your power, and one
(42:38):
of the ways that Sam has helpedme with is being empathetic and
noticing that that person mightbe struggling more, and I don't
really.
I don't get the like they'restruggling more, so I feel sorry
for them.
So it's not that big of a deal.
That's not how I go with it.
I go with it the way Sam saidof like they're struggling more
and that fucking sucks for them,but now they don't have as much
power as I was giving them inthe moment.
(42:59):
And so, to answer your questionof like people that have family
members that don't see it thatway, I think that the other side
that I would add is likeacceptance of not everybody's
gonna see it this way and itfucking sucks that it's your
parents but at the end of theday, if this is what you wanna
do, you're gonna have to allowthat to just be the truth of the
(43:21):
scenario and find your powerfrom somewhere else.
Maybe that's a friend that isthe only friend that ever
supports this, but you always goto them to help that.
Get that support.
If you have the strength tofind your power on your own,
which is a lot harder to do,find it.
Sam said she did it through OBA.
I've done it through socialmedia and having to show up
through the haters, no matterwhat, but you have to find your
(43:42):
power and be okay with lettingthose people sit where they're
gonna sit.
It sucks to have your familymember not support you, but it
is what it is at this moment andmaybe they'll come around.
Maybe they won't, because theperspective is winning an Oscar
is not nearly as big of a dealto anybody.
That's not an actor.
I'm so sorry I can't go to thegrocery store and say I want an
(44:02):
Oscar in them, give me freegroceries.
They're gonna be like okay,bitch, it's 72, 95.
Yeah, so it's just not that bigof a fucking deal.
And a lot of people see ourcareer as a narcissistic
business, which it is.
So it's not surprising to methat more people disagree with
what we do, because it wouldmean that they might have to
(44:23):
deal with something ofthemselves that they don't wanna
deal with, of the fact of maybethey didn't pursue their dream
and maybe they're pissed offthat you're able to pursue your
dream, like when I look at itthat way, I'm like oh, because
I'm really good at being not myproblem, like that is not my
issue, the fact that you didn'tpursue your dream is not my
issue and I don't give a fuck.
So I'm just gonna move forward.
So when I can break it downthat way, that's how I can get
(44:44):
through it.
But we all know I'm a fighter.
So when people say bullshit tome about my career.
The first thing I wanna do islight their house on fire, but I
instead call Sam, and so it'sactually a lot better for most
people, it's true.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
We have these conversations a lot.
Listen, if you really want tobe comfortable with being
disliked, which I think we allshould be, be on the internet
more.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Yeah, definitely Love it.
Oh my God, that was great All Igot.
That's not true, not all I got.
But just if I want to lightsomething on fire, call Sam,
just let her talk you down fromnot going to prison.
Speaker 3 (45:27):
I'm like a people filter Just bring it to me,
we'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
You remind me of my sister with that, gabrielle,
because my sister is just like.
I cannot deal with you in yourbullshit.
I'm like, oh, but maybe they'rehaving a rough day.
Oh Lord, I want to honor yourtime.
I know we're getting close tofour, so, just wrapping up, what
do you guys see?
What's coming up for themembership and for both of you
(45:54):
for 2024?
We're still very early on inthis year and I'm sure you'll
have beautiful, wonderful thingsplanned.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
So I was going to see if my great Dean was going to
stop barking or not.
Could you hear him when he wasjust barking?
Speaker 1 (46:06):
A little bit, but he can.
He can make a.
I heard him a little bit, but Ilove dogs, so he can say hello,
Okay.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Well, you know, I wish I could tell you I have
this wild master plan, but atthe beginning of the year I read
both Sam and my cards and theywere pretty fucking clear to not
do anything extra, to sit atwhere we're at and to allow what
we're doing to be enough, whichis something that Sam and I are
not the same in multiple places, but we are the same in feeling
(46:38):
like we have to do more becausewe're really good at execution.
So we will chase the executionuntil we find another thing to
chase.
And so you know, for this year,my focus is to make the things
that I've done that are greatkeep being great and then, when
I get to next year, to allowthat to be the next stepping
(47:00):
stone.
But we worked our asses off forthe membership last year and in
that, in turn of that, it madeus upgrade everything.
Yo, Gabrielle got an upgrade,OBA got an upgrade, Fast Four
Productions got an upgrade.
So last year is all aboutupgrading.
And so for this year I'm justgoing to sit pretty, enjoy the
fruits of our labor and thennext year get to the next spot,
(47:21):
which, ironically, I think iswhat's happening with the
industry as well, is it'ssitting pretty and figuring out
what the next steps are, eventhough everybody wanted to tell
us it was going to be this giantaudition or whatever.
And so I'm like, if everythingaround is doing exactly that,
then why not?
Because I mean, let's be honest, we have a fucking election
year next year, and if I want tomake it through and not revisit
(47:42):
circling the train, I'm goingto have to take a pause this
year to be able to fight nextyear so that we don't have
people in office that areshitheads.
So that's me, and it might feelabout that.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
Yeah, it's something.
It is something we are holdingeach other accountable for is
that we have to not be theworkaholic make the next thing,
do the next thing.
We need to sit in a littlestillness this year.
Both of us do and we know thatabout each other.
So I'm going to see how much ofthat I can handle.
I'm going to honestly, thisyear, I'm very curious.
I'm not making a ton of plans.
(48:15):
I'm putting things in, I'mdoing the work, but I'm also
factoring in a lot of free timefor myself, because I think that
I'm going to need it.
So, speaking of free time, Ithink I'm about to go do a
voiceover job and Gabrielle'sabout to go to another job
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (48:32):
Well, thank you both so much for being here.
If you could rate review,follow the podcast.
I am going to wrap this upquick because you both have to
go and I so appreciate you beinghere.
But thank you both, I enjoyedthis so much.
Hey everyone, welcome back to I Am Me podcast.
Today, I'm very excited I'msitting down with two guests,
which is a first for me.
I am joined by GabrielleBen-Loss and Sam Valentine.
They're both two incrediblytalented boss women in their own
right, but they're also bothactors, content creators.
Sam has her own podcast calledOne Broke Actress.
(00:20):
Gabrielle creates amazingcontent on Instagram and TikTok
with a lot of great advice foractors.
Honestly, both of them have somuch great advice for actors.
They're fun, silly, fearless,independent women who I admire
and respect, and the two of themcame together to create a
kick-ass online community foractors like myself called the
(00:40):
Membership, and I am superexcited to sit down and talk
with both of you today.
So how?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
are you guys doing Doing good?
Thank you for having us.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
I love being on other people's podcasts.
I'm thrilled to be here.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
I'm super excited and I feel like it might be a
little easier because you justget to show up and you don't
have to worry about all thestuff that happens after this
one hour that we have together.
Yep, I'm just on the ride.
Exactly, I want to dive intothe Membership how you two came
together to create that, howy'all crossed paths, and also
what the Membership is to youguys in your own words.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
Yeah, I'll kick it off, because I actually just
found this journal entry in myGoodNotes pages a couple of days
ago and I sent it to Gabrielle.
So Gabrielle and I wereinternet friends.
We met TA-ing a class atMornell Studios online and I
said let's meet, let's havecoffee over the phone and
Gabrielle begrudgingly said yes,and it turned out that we
(01:37):
couldn't get off the phone witheach other and we just had a
really great relationship and wewere doing similar things.
We were both active workingactors who were also presenting
ourselves on the internet andsharing our day-to-day life in a
realistic manner, and I admireit so much because I know how
hard it is.
And when I met someone who wasdoing a similar thing from a
totally different world, I waslike I need to know this person.
(02:00):
And then we just kind of neverstopped calling each other.
And I think this is part of thereason we created the
Membership is we realized thatevery actor needs someone to
lean on who understands whatthey're going through and
understands what they might needat any moment.
And one day I was writing and Ihad.
You know, we both have so muchgoing on in our side worlds as
(02:23):
well as our acting careers and Iwrote down in my journal like I
just feel like I need to dothis with Gabrielle.
I feel like we need to havesome sort of like community
together.
I feel like she could handlecalls, I feel like she would
talk to actors so well, likeshe's so confident and
charismatic.
I just want her.
And that day I was like, hey,we've never met in person, but
(02:46):
would you ever be interested instarting a business together
based on what we already do?
Just let me know.
Also, if this is an insanevoicemail, please just ignore it
and I'll let you take it fromme.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah, I think that you know, I always admired what
Sam was doing.
She'd been doing it for so longand so much more before anybody
, I think, took social mediaseriously, and so I was honored
that she asked to go intobusiness together, but also
nervous, because I knew what herfollowing was like and I didn't
want her to feel like I wastaking any bit of what she's
already created and capitalizingoff of it.
(03:23):
I had come from a background ofhaving some amazing bookings
and losing a lot of peoplebecause of it, because, as we
know, everybody's yourcheerleader until you quote,
unquote, surpass them and thenthey're like what am, what is
she doing that I'm not doing,and things got really nasty.
So when I had looked intoteaching at Mornell Studios, it
was actually because I was likeI want people to know that I
(03:44):
actually know what I'm doing.
It's not like I lucked out,this is something I've worked
hard for.
And then when I started showingup at social media, it was to
show people like here's theother side of my life, like I
know you're seeing bookings, buthere's all the nitty gritty
that happens leading up to it.
And what I found was I don'thave a heart for teaching acting
classes.
It's not my jam, but I do havea heart for empowering people,
(04:05):
especially actors, and so, sinceI had figured that out so late
in the game in my opinion, sam'srequest of what if we started
business together I was superintimidated because I was like I
don't even know if I haveanything to offer as far as
bringing people in.
I know I have something tooffer as far as what I'm going
to say, but, like, this is goingto be built on your following
and you're falling alone and, tobe honest, I think the first
time we opened our doors it wasbuilt on OBA is following, and
(04:28):
what's lovely is those OGmembers already had gone through
so much with Sam that they knewwhat they were getting into and
I didn't have to mute myself orchange myself for anything else
.
And then from there, it's justbeen this progressive growth of
people that I have followed mefrom Instagram or from TikTok
that I think we're also a littleconfused as to like, wait a
second, I've never seen thesetwo together and now I'm seeing
(04:48):
them together all the time andwe're like we get it.
We were never together either.
I'm actually going to see herfor the second time in our
entire life in person in March.
So I know it's a weirdrelationship, yeah, but here we
are and ultimately we justwanted to bring to other actors
what the two of us had of like asafe space to go through all
those crazy thoughts that wehave as a sounding board.
(05:09):
That wasn't going to havejudgment or competition
happening at the same time, yeah, and to I think I want to note
too.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
There was something when Gabrielle was like oh, I
don't want to take advantage ofyou.
I was like I don't want you tothink I'm taking advantage of
you because you have morecredits than I do.
You're a black woman in theindustry.
I don't want you to think Ijust want to be with you for
some sort of diversity quota.
I just fucking love you.
And I see I knew I would curseright away and I was like this
is just.
(05:37):
This is just, I want this and Idon't want you to think I'm
taking advantage of you.
So this is a concept back andforth.
We have of like making surewe're taking care of each other,
which is the gift of this all.
So the membership is reallythat it's.
It's a safe space for actors tocome.
It's not an acting class,because we think that we have
plenty of those.
There's a lot of people whoteach acting incredibly well,
(05:58):
some of which we have comemonthly to the membership to
work on that with our actors,and we have so many resources
and so many things to share withpeople, and we think the
community has so much to sharewith each other that we wanted
to make the world feel a littleless crazy, a little less of us
stuck in our echo chambers, andgive everyone just a safe place.
So, whether that's via an emailor an online Slack channel, or
(06:21):
a monthly call like every otherweek with us, you know we just
we wanted people to feel what wefeel about this business.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I also I like what both of y'all said, because even
it's funny how we just have somany insecurities, like as
people, but also as women, andeven I took me forever to even
ask to you to be on my podcastbecause I was like same thing I
have like 50 followers on mypodcast Instagram, so I know how
(06:49):
hard, that is.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
So I respect those 50 people.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
What I try to.
That's what I try to remindmyself be grateful, Like you
have people who are listening,but it's also, I understand, a
lot of my listens come from thepeople that I am interviewing.
So I don't want people like Igenuinely just want to sit down
and talk to people, but I don'twant people to feel like I'm
trying to take advantage of them.
So it's funny that y'all bothhit on having that same feeling
(07:16):
when y'all first connected.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I think it's so funny what we've been fed as far as
media goes, like you can't bewomen in business together, you
have to be women in businesscompeting, and so I'm sure
that's where it comes from.
But just so you know, it onlyfelt like you were like hey, I
just want to talk to you guys.
Can we put it in my podcast?
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Good yeah, we're all a bunch of actors.
Give us an opportunity to talkon a microphone or do our own PR
.
Are you joking?
We love it.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Right, I know, I know I feel like I plug myself as
much as I plug the people Iinterview on here, but that's
what makes me me Okay.
The membership, from what I cansee, is doing incredibly well.
So what do you think BecauseI've seen other people try and
do acting communities and I'mfortunate to be a part of the
membership so what do you thinkYouTube bring to it that makes
(08:04):
it do so well?
Because it does feel it is sucha safe space.
And there's other communitiesI've tried to join won't name
names that don't have that, thatimmediately have like a kind of
cutthroat trying to be better.
So what do you two do, or whatdo you think you guys bring to
it that makes it feel so safe?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
You know, I think what you get is what you get
with us, and that's what makesit feel safe, because people can
try us out on social mediafirst.
They can watch our stories,they can watch what we post and
be like Okay, do I want to hangout with this person in an
online forum?
Do I want to be on calls withthis person?
And then when they do decide tojoin the membership, they
realize that there isn't anychange.
What you get on IG is what youget in the membership, and I
(08:46):
think that creates the safetynet, because people are like
Okay, so they are who they saythey are and I can be who I say
I am.
It's not like I'm entering intopaying them now and they've put
themselves on a pedestal toensure that I stay here.
It's like we're very open aboutwe both have different
experiences in this career andhere's some things that worked
for us, but the community isonly as strong as everybody
(09:07):
working together.
And then, on the other side ofthat, I just think we're really
for lack of better word likepretty fucking cool people, and
that isn't what everybody is.
You know, there are a lot oftimes when people are just in
this to either make money or tobe able to feel like they're
helping other actors, and sothat, in turn, makes them feel
(09:29):
like they're a better actor.
And it's like we have no agendawith the membership except for
to offer what Sam and I offer toeach other.
And I think that makes uspretty fucking cool, because
it's like if everybody decidesto quit tomorrow, then it's like
, ok, we still did what wewanted to do.
We gave people what we had, andthat was the whole goal.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
It was never to make money, well, and I think too,
like part of what makes you guysso great is.
This isn't going to be apodcast of me just telling you
how great you are, but it mightbe no, but if you want to,
that's also fine.
Really I'm very embarrassed ofyou.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Girl keep going.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
So it's like the fact that you are comfortable to
stand in your power and saywe're fucking cool people and
own that and no, it's true, andnot say it in a conceded way,
like I think that's part ofy'all's appeal, because there is
a confidence with you guys, notin like an asshole, arrogant
way.
And yeah, like we know what webring to the table, we know our
(10:26):
worth and I don't know.
I just think, like when peoplecan say, yeah, I'm fucking cool,
I'm not an asshole about it,but I'm fucking cool, and take
me or leave me and I just, Idon't know.
That's something to aspire toand something that I think does
set you guys apart.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
That's really cool to hear from someone who's who's
on the inside of it Like thatmeans a lot.
Because I also think what makesit really special is that we've
both been in the trenches ofthis career in such different
capacities and while both of usknow that people can look in on
our careers and see us assuccessful, we're like and also
(11:05):
we want X, y and Z.
So it's been a struggle for usboth, at different points in our
lives, to stand in our powerand say like we are damn good at
this job and we are worthy ofpeople you know paying for our
time, whether it's on a set oron a one-on-one call or whatever
it is, and that has taken a lotof work, depending on.
(11:26):
You know our internal struggles.
Where we're out of the time, welike to pretend like bookings
don't matter, but they feel likethey matter a lot when your
business is based on helpingactors and being able to get
past that and continue workingin this job without the
accolades that we are told makeyou quote, unquote good at this
job Like that's some powerfulshit, because then everything's
(11:49):
up to you.
You get to say when you'redoing well, you get to take that
back, us having to learn thosehard lessons and relearn them
over and over again.
Live with our people.
It makes it not a powerstructure.
It's not like we are in chargeand we're like, yes, we, we had
instant career success and yousee that you see people who had
(12:09):
really lucky beginning of theircareers and they will eventually
teach or start you knowsomething of their own, which is
awesome, and I think it's goodfor everyone to like share what
they know and what they'velearned.
But when you've battled like wehave to come from nothing, you
get a different perspective onthis job and you get a different
(12:30):
respect for the people who arewilling to stay in it without
signs of success, and that issomething I want everyone to
think about when they come intothe membership.
I want them to know they'realready succeeding because they
get to spend one hundred andfifteen dollars a month on a
community Like that's a, that'sa privilege man.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
I feel like I should just play that like little sound
bite over and over again,because bookings do feel like
they hold so much weight and youcan't call yourself an actor
until you've booked.
And I've been at this for likeseven years and I just have not.
I've gotten a lot of auditionsbut I've just not got what I
thought I would get.
And I think there comes timeswhen I want to quit because I
(13:12):
feel like I haven't proved tomyself that I am what I say I am
or I can do what I say I can do.
And I know one of my questionswas actually for you, Gabrielle.
I know that you talked aboutI've just heard it in passing.
I know you've talked about itat some point that you were
considering quitting, actingprior to starting the membership
.
Do I have that right?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
I was considering dropping, acting in the middle
of the membership.
It was last year, like after wehad started the community, like
Sam was so great into listeningand being like cool.
My business partner that I justwanted to be a partnership with
is about to quit acting.
But that's fine, we'll figureit out.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
We were just like we were just on a, we were on an
office hours call and you'relike, yeah, I'm just not sure if
this is, I'm going to thinkabout it and I was like mm.
Hmm.
And in my head I was like mm.
Hmm.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
So will you touch on that?
Well, I want to hear from bothof you, but I'll throw the mic
to you first, gabrielle.
Will you touch on that selfdoubt and that feeling of
inadequacy?
Voice is just human andwhatever you do, so what for you
, I guess, motivated you orchanged that for you to keep
going?
And then to both of you, whatdo y'all do when you hear that
(14:18):
self doubt that you know areintercritic, that voice of
feeling like you're not goodenough or you're not doing what
you feel like you should bedoing at this point?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Well, I gotta call it out again, like the only reason
why we feel like bookings arethe measure of success as to
being an actor is because ofwhat everybody else puts on us,
because the first thing thathappens when you say I'm an
actor is cool, what have youbeen in?
And if you don't have an answerto that, it's an immediate so
you're trying to be an actor.
No, no, no, I'm an actor, butyou haven't been in anything.
So that rig of my role that wego through every single time,
(14:48):
please a thing on our psyche andit makes us feel like, ok, so I
have to book to be able to besuccessful.
So for me, it was actually theopposite.
I wasn't thinking, oh, Ihaven't booked and I need to
book to be able to stay, to bean actor.
It was the opposite.
It was I have an amazing career, all things that I've worked my
ass off for, all things that Ideserve.
But it's the side that peopledon't want to talk about, where
(15:11):
you realize you thought thatonce you got to a certain level,
you would be so thrilled withthis career and you would feel
like I did it.
Man, I'm an actor, I'mincredible, and I'm here to tell
you that you feel that whenyou're on set there and the
second you leave, it goes rightback to that same feeling that
you have, liz, of like, when amI ever going to book something?
And nothing is ever good enough, and as a human in this world,
(15:34):
I struggle a lot with things notbeing good enough in everything
that I do.
I have to, like say I must havewatched me try my best to try
things I'm not going to be greatat, because I will quit and not
do it If I'm not great at it.
And so I just was really havingan issue with feeling like I
did the thing.
I got amazing bookings, I havean incredible reps, I have
(15:54):
incredible knowledge from this.
Is this something that I wantto continue to have on my plate?
As you still have to hustle, youstill have to try, you still
have to do more, because, at theend of the day, I got into this
career to inspire other peopleof color to be in this career,
and I was doing it in a biggerway without being on set, and so
I was like, is this still theplace that I want to be, which
(16:16):
is like, not the shit people aregoing to tell you, right,
everybody's going to be like,yeah, once you get eight
recurring guest stars, you'relike on top of the world and
you're doing it, and I'm like,no, you actually are still
struggling with the same thingand you start to think, if this
isn't enough, series regular isnot going to be enough, starring
in a movie is not going to beenough.
And so then what's the point?
You're chasing after somethingthat feels like it's never
(16:36):
enough and that was hard for meto, I think, walk through.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
That's so weirdly that landed so in line with
stuff that I've gone through inthe past six months and where
I'm at currently.
I think one of my biggest fearsin life right now is, I think,
knowing just from hearing fromother people that even if I get
the bookings that I want to get,that's not going to be the
(17:02):
thing that's going to satisfy meand give me my worth and my
value, which I think is part ofanother reason like you guys are
so awesome is because, likey'all, I was like y'all sorry, I
heard y'all and I was likeSouthern girl throwing that in
there, but I liked it.
(17:22):
Yeah, thank you, thank you.
But one of the reasons y'allare so amazing is because y'all
take into consideration actorsas people, not actors as little
booking machines, and we are,we're human and we're supposed
to be emotionally vulnerable inall these things.
But then, on the flip side ofthat, there's the how do I
protect myself and know that Ihave my self worth when I'm
(17:47):
constantly expecting otherpeople to tell me, hey, you did
good enough to get this job?
And I think, like that's aninteresting question for you two
about how you, how you navigatethat self worth and your value
that piece of it and what y'alldo, what y'all put in place to
keep yourself, I guess, balancedand grounded and know that you
(18:07):
do have worth and it's not basedon what you're booking or what
you're doing.
And there's life outside ofacting and booking.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
Yeah, I'll take that one because, I'll be quite
honest with you, I haven'tbooked a lot in my career.
I go years at a time withoutbeing on a theatrical set up
until you know that.
I think that's going to change.
I think I'm at a place where Iactually own my power now
without that, so I can't wait tosee what happens next.
I've also grown up a lot, butI've I spent.
(18:37):
The reason one book actressexisted is because I spent years
trying to do everything I wassupposed to do.
I checked all the boxes, I didall the actor things, I took all
the workshops, I took all theclasses, I did everything I was
quote unquote supposed to do andI just couldn't understand what
wasn't working.
And so I said, fine, I'm justgoing to talk about it online
(18:59):
because, whatever, what's theworst that could happen?
Things can't get worse, becauseI'm not even auditioning and I
took it to the streets.
I started talking to peopleregularly and I was like what
was it?
What changed for you?
How do you get your mindset andthe?
The consistent story, over andover and over again, is that, to
(19:19):
be quite honest, you have to dothis job for years and years
and years and years.
You have to do it for 10, 15,20 years before you truly get
what we see as momentum and whatthose people who have been in
it for 20 years see as aThursday because it doesn't feel
like momentum to them becausethey've been doing it for so
(19:40):
long.
And the people we see there islike 0.1% of people who come
into this job and they succeedwithin the first 10 years.
The rest of them have been heresince they were born, since
they were two.
You know, emma Stone convincedher parents to drop out of
school when she was like 16 soshe could be in this business.
Of course, she's 35 and beingnominated for Oscars.
(20:00):
She has been here for 20 yearslike kicking butt, and I think
that we we want to, we want topedestal the people who you know
who are, who are 20 years oldand successful, but we forget
that they started either whenthey were two or they're like a
lottery winners and I have toremind myself of that all the
(20:20):
time and that headspace has kindof built me to have the
resilience and have the grit tocontinue to do this job.
And you asked you know, what doyou do on the days where you
question it.
What do you do on the dayswhere it doesn't feel good?
You know what I do?
I call Gabrielle or I send herlike an eight minute voicemail
and I'm like hey, when you havea minute, listen to this and you
(20:42):
don't have to respond.
But like we give each otherfour warnings, like we'll send
ones and we'll say hey, this isbusiness, don't listen to it
until 10am.
Or hey, this is, this isventing, ignore or listen to in
the car.
Like we like preface a lot ofour voice emails to each other,
because sometimes we are longwinded and we vent and we talk
about everything and sometimeswe say like I just want to be
(21:03):
heard and sometimes we say Iwant advice.
And that's part of the reason wehave safe space calls in the
membership where we say you know, this is a place where, before
you talk about what you want,say whether you want help and
advice, or say whether you justwant to speak, and those calls
are powerful and people usuallyend up laughing and crying and
leaving them feeling a differentway, because you have to get
(21:25):
those feelings out of your body,or else they just like sit in
that echo chamber and I sat inthat for so long and as I've
gotten older it's gotten easier,because I've seen life shift,
I've seen priorities change andI see how little the job at the
end of the day is and howimportant coming home to your
(21:46):
home whatever that means to you,is.
And the more I've taken care ofmyself and been able to be
present for people around me,the better my home has been and
that has helped my career atlarge, because I also don't want
to get all the success I wantand come home to an empty house
(22:07):
and not be able to text myfriends.
That's like my biggest fear.
So I think the being a humanoutside of it is just such a
huge part of it.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
With that, I think I connect with both of y'all so
much.
But I feel like I'm pastversions of you guys, Like I'm
in a different spot, Like I'mlike, which makes me feel good
because I'm like okay, they'reokay, they're doing all right.
Yeah, you'll be okay.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
You're going to be fine.
That's it.
Like you're going to be fine.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
I feel like, put y'all together and I'm like, oh,
there's future, me a little bitin there and I'm going to be
okay, but I think we also.
There's also the eat, sleep andgrind mentality and I feel like
I mentioned that on everyfreaking episode.
But I want to hear you to,Gabrielle, because I saw you
posted one of your videos wastalking about what you thought
(22:58):
acting would look like versuswhat it is now and you were
showing.
You'll know which video I'mtalking about.
Maybe I don't know, but it waslike you were working out, doing
yoga, doing like you were.
Just it was like a montage.
What I want to know is I feellike you can bring so much more
to yourself acting wise when youare obviously taking care of
(23:19):
yourself and the other spectrumof life friends, family,
finances, health, wellness.
You know movement, so I want toknow how you started making
those shifts into recognizingthat as just important for
acting, as it is for life.
I guess I don't know if it's agood question, but it's a
(23:40):
question.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yeah, I think there's a couple of things I want to
call out here that facilitatedit.
One I'm in a what was called asmall market for so long, so not
everything around me issurrounded by actors and people
talking about acting, whichenabled me to have perspective
very easily.
I do not have a bunch of actorfriends never have, never will.
(24:04):
Most of my friends don't haveanything to do with acting.
So if I were to try tomanipulate a conversation to be
all about acting, they would cutme off and they would be like
cool, can we talk aboutsomething else?
And so that, I think, allowedme to want different things out
of my life versus the grind ofactor hustle.
Right, like if I lived in LA,from what Sam has told me, like
(24:24):
there was a period of time whereshe felt so much pressure of
like which class was sheteaching at, or was she taking,
whose short film was she workingin, what scripts was she
reading and how is shenetworking at all times Like
circling around that drain ofhow I mean, how am I checking
these things off?
I've never had that drain,because what happens when you're
in a small market is nobodytakes you seriously.
So none of these options wereeven available here in Atlanta
(24:46):
for the longest time.
It was just like a couple ofself-tape places and a couple of
agencies and that's it.
And as it started to blossomand grow, I started to get older
too, and so I just honestlydidn't have the want to do that
type of hustle in that way.
I've always been very moneydriven and I was like I'm not
going to put all of my moneyinto all this actor thing,
because it felt like such aschmooze and I'm not a good
(25:08):
schmoozer, I'm not a good shorttalker and like I just don't
really care about it and humansstress me the fuck out most of
the time that it was like Idon't even know where I'm going
to fit.
If I take these classes andnetworking, people are just
going to get pissed off of mebecause I'm going to say the
wrong thing.
So that's one.
Two, I got my yogacertification in 2012.
So I have always had an eye onmindset and meditation and
(25:32):
stretching in the benefits thatthat does for your body, because
I have struggled my entire lifewith my mental health and so it
was a priority to me.
Because in 2011, I actuallytried to take my life and so it
was like I have to find a way toget out of this.
So mental health and makingsure I find a way to get out of
that drain when it comes up hasalways been the biggest thing.
(25:54):
And then the last thing I willadd is that this entire push
that happened after 2020 aboutbeing in your healthy body and
being strong versus being skinnythat came out and focusing on
mental health after everybodywas at home for so long has
actually pushed, I think, meeven further, because I've been
like okay, now all I'msurrounded by is other people
(26:14):
doing it too.
So if you take all three ofthose things, you realize that,
in my opinion, the acting classis something that you need,
especially when you start out,but something you take lesser of
and you start to go into morefocus on like, where am I not
growing?
Is it comedy?
Great, so I'm going to go to acomedy class, or I'm going to
work on improv versus.
Am I in that ongoing class?
(26:37):
And what happened to me was,when I started to switch that
focus, I started to book a lotmore.
So I was able to put the proofin the pudding and I was like,
wow, the more I work on myself.
The more I go to therapy, themore I focus on meditation, the
more I focus on visualizationand everything else, the more
I'm seeing bookings.
So if that's the case, maybe Ishould keep doing it, and then I
just haven't turned back.
That is my way I project.
(26:59):
You will not see me do selftape.
May you will not even see mejust decide to pull up a script
with a bunch of friends and justget into it.
I just I can't, it's not me.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
Well, first of all, I'm very, very grateful that you
are here with us today, but Irelate to that a lot.
Mental health has also been abig struggle for me, and then I
was in like a mental healthoutpatient program for like four
months.
So it's been, I guess, sevenmonths, seven, eight months now,
but still very fresh.
(27:31):
Obviously it's not that farremoved from me.
I appreciate both of you guysvery much and I wing out Bye.
Like I said, I think hearingyou say that and hearing your
story and then hearing both ofy'all, there's just a lot that I
relate to in both of you.
I find both of you incrediblyinspiring, because I think y'all
(27:52):
show me things that I'm hopingfor.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (27:58):
Okay, yeah, I'm just, I'm feeling all the feelings.
I Sorry, Sam, no, it's okay.
No, this is my.
I love this, I love, I love.
I love that our job is talkingto people and getting like their
story and hearing their lifeand like.
Our job as actors is to feelour feelings and and be able to
do it, you know, in front ofother people.
(28:18):
And then do it again and againand again and again.
So listen, I, I think it's,it's and it's.
The word honor doesn't do itenough justice.
When people tell me storieslike you inspire me Because I
was like I'm never gonna beanything in this job I get, I'm
(28:38):
tearing up the sorry.
So close to the period, you know, I didn't think, I thought I
had to, I thought I had to do somuch to earn Love, to earn
Someone's praise, to earn tohear that like I'm the reason
someone moved to LA, or thereason they moved to Atlanta, or
the reason they you know theywanted to, to continue acting,
(28:59):
or the reason they didn't quit,or anything it's.
It takes away I think that'spart of it in the reason I think
I can continue to do thiscareer is this takes away the
pressure, because this is justlike Gabrielle said.
You know, once we startedworking so closely with actors
and realizing that we could havean effect on human life, even
(29:21):
without being in in in somethingthat, in something that people
saw, like In in a you know howto be in an Oscar winning film.
You don't even got a book, ashort film this year you can
still have an impact on people.
Like that is that's what it'sall about at the end of the day,
you know, is is the impact you,you leave behind.
I talk about legacy occasionallywith my husband because we
(29:43):
don't plan on having kids, andyou know it's a.
It's a.
It's a deep conversation to getinto, but Sure, that to me is
that takes a lot of pressure offin it.
Like it makes me really happyto know that sharing, booking an
industrial, or like doing avoiceover, dubbing, or talking
(30:03):
about how we haven't booked andhow I can still find that I have
to theory about like a teaspoonof hope and and finding that in
some capacity, whatever it isfor you today, like if that has
an impact on someone, then, likethe rest is gravy, like I'm, so
I'm so good and I think we allwant to leave.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Have an impact?
I don't know, maybe noteverybody, but I think actors do
.
You know, we all want to matterand I think it's really cool
that it doesn't have to be I'man Oscar winner.
That doesn't necessarily meanthat you mattered or you.
You know like you impactedpeople and All right, I have to
(30:45):
reference my questions becausemy brain is getting
short-circuited.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
I have something that I want to add, liz, that I
don't think you know.
So I now learning thisinformation about you.
It's I just was thinking aboutwhen I was gonna bring this up,
which I don't even think Samknows, but at one point, the way
you got into the membership.
When people work for us as faras mentorship, we allow them to
(31:10):
come into membership wheneverthey want to, and so we open up
spots for like 10 minutes forthem to pop in and get a spot
and be able to be in.
One time I opened a spot for aminty and those 10 minutes she
messaged me and she's like hey,the spots not open anymore.
I'm like what?
She's like the spots not open.
I was like how?
It's not like I publicized oranything else.
You got into the membership.
(31:31):
I called Sam and I'm likesomebody named Liz got into the
membership.
She's like yeah, yeah, you saidyour mentee was gonna be and I
was like my mentee's name is notLiz I don't know who this is,
but she's in and she's like fuck, what are we supposed to do?
And I was like, listen, in the10 minutes that we opened it up,
I think she's meant to be inthe membership.
Like I think that like the, thewater fucking parted and it was
(31:53):
like this bitch needs to be inhere, so we're not gonna do
anything.
And Sam's like I agree, let'snot do anything.
And we have done this multipletimes.
We've let in like six others ofmy mentees.
Never has anybody ever gottenin in those 10 minutes of time,
like I do it at odd times.
You did like so.
Now, hearing what you're sayingand where you've been going and
how you feel about us, I'm like, oh, this makes so much sense
(32:15):
as to why you were able to likeBreak the the status quo and get
in which.
You have no idea.
You probably like great, I'm in, I'm good to go.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Like wow there was one spot and I got it.
Well, what's funny was like Iwas looking you guys several
times but I just, witheverything I was going through,
I was like I don't know, Ireally just was like shelf
acting.
I can't open my heart up tothat right now.
I'm like, yeah, barely hangingon.
And so I looked at you guysseveral times throughout those
(32:44):
months in that program and I waslike you know, not right now.
And then I got out of theprogram and you know, getting
back into working and stuff likethat.
Okay, I, I think I need to dothis.
I don't need to do a class, Idon't need to do something
that's gonna stress me out.
I just think I need a littlesupport on the acting side of
things.
And so it's just, I don't evenremember the time of day or
(33:07):
anything, and I know like y'allopened and closed it and opened
and closed it and I saw thaty'all to opened it and then
Y'all put had posted that it wasclosing again or the date it
was closing.
It was like two days past and Iwas like, and whatever, I'll
look anyway, and it was open.
So I love that because I feellike this has been really good
for me in regards to acting,mental health and how mental
(33:30):
health and acting go together.
Y'all are wonderful for mentalhealth and acting and being a
stable, balanced human withacting and it doesn't have to be
eat, sleep and breathe acting,and I love that.
You said that you're not gonnapull a script up and like read a
(33:50):
script, because I feel like Ishould do that shit.
It's.
You know, you have two hoursbefore bed.
I'm like I want to read a bookor whatever, or do something
else.
I'm like you call yourself anactor, liz.
Why aren't you pulling up afucking script and reading a
script right now?
And I don't fucking want to.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
I thought on this.
Yeah, I want to add to that go.
The chances of you reading abook that's eventually going to
be turned in a script are like anine out of ten.
We think of, we think of actingin just such a linear fashion
of like it's a Audition or anagent meeting or an email or a
script or a submission or thisor a networking event or this or
that.
(34:27):
My whole life has been likeAccidental things.
Like I meet people at the gymand they end up coming on the
podcast and then I end up.
You know, I one of them broughtme in for a show.
I'm nannied for a family andthe dad was a director and after
six years he had a pilot pickedup and he brought me in.
Like it, it's just, it's all somuch like more happenstantial
(34:47):
than we realize and Keepingyourself creatively involved is
is so much more important thanchecking the box Some days.
You need to check the box if youyou know, if you're listening
to this and you're like I'mactually not doing the work.
You know deep down, and I'velearned this because I have to
told, I've taught, had thisconversation with Gabrielle so
many times about like Am I doingenough because I don't audition
(35:09):
that much.
Am I XYZ?
Am I doing this, am I doingthat?
And I occasionally Will pull upa script, but it's because I'm
really excited about that script.
Like someone just sent me oneof their favorite, like they
were like I haven't read a pilotin so long and I read this one.
It's incredible, you'll love it.
So I can't wait to read thatbecause it was sent to me,
because someone thought of me.
But I'm not gonna go like digaround and find you know what's
(35:31):
what's?
Some random show like like Adamfrom accounting Accounts or
whatever, because it's gotpicked up for another season.
Like yes, if you want to, great, but I can't tell you how many
like books I've read that I'vealso seen oh, they're gonna make
that into a show.
And I'm like great, I'm sofamiliar with that IP, I can't
wait for it to happen.
Or podcasts I've listened tothey get turned into shows and I
(35:54):
am over the moon when I seethat they're gonna maybe
audition.
And then I've lined up BookingI the last show I was on set for
Bosch.
My family loves that show, myhusband's family loves it, my
family loves it and I had neversat down and watched the entire
series.
But I knew all about it becauseI was around my family and they
(36:15):
talked about it and they lovedit and my husband has every
Michael Connelly book known toman.
So it's just it's so much moreabout like immersing yourself in
, like creativity and art thanit is like checking a damn box.
Someone's gonna tell yousomething different and they're
gonna hate that answer.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
But, like man, I want you to go read those books, liz
books for me, or either I amall in or I will never pick that
sucker up again.
But diving back into why we'rehere, I wanna know advice you
guys have for actors, eithergetting into this, really, I
(36:49):
wanna know naysayers.
Family can be really impactfulwhen it comes to pursuing acting
.
I swear, I think when I told mydad I wanted to be an actor, he
saw me starving under a bridge.
So family and then also as youfind success I know you touched
on it a little bit, gabrielle,about how people are there until
(37:12):
you're succeeding past them,and I think we see that.
So how do you deal with thatthe naysayers aspect of it, of
people who are there for you andthen all of a sudden it's like,
oh, I'm doing better than you,better whatever, like our
journeys are all so differentand better.
I don't even like that word.
How do you even measure that?
(37:33):
But what advice do you all havefor people that are struggling
with that and the negativitythat comes from the outside
world, not just our internal?
Speaker 2 (37:46):
monologue.
I'm gonna let Sam go first,cause her answer is gonna be
great.
You know it, she helps me a lotof times.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
when naysayers pop in , I was gonna let you go first.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
No bitch, you have to go first.
You're the one who always talksto me through these things.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
I just don't think anybody matters.
I-.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Wow, I envy you.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
I well listen.
I get down about stuff a lotbut at the end of the day nobody
is thinking about you as muchas you are thinking about you.
So nobody's going to bed beinglike man.
I can't believe Liz hasn'tbooked an acting job.
Like nobody is doing that.
And if they are, it means thatlike they're having a rough time
(38:30):
themselves.
Nobody thinks about that stuffbecause life is good.
I tell Gabrielle this all thetime.
All the time.
Like nobody gets on theinternet to comment some
nonsense on one of our postsbecause they've had a good day
right.
Like people aren't being jerkson the internet because their
life is going swimmingly.
It's you become a punching bagand if you realize that the
(38:52):
person punching you is reallysad, it kind of takes away some
of the power.
And I've been really lucky and Ialways want to designate like
the privilege I've had that myparents were super supportive.
When I did plays in high schoolin like the cafeteria and then
said like I'm going to go toschool for acting, they were
like okay, okay, all right, allright, fine, sure.
(39:18):
And then I moved to LA and theywere scared, shitless.
But they were still supportiveand I had, I always knew in the
back of my mind that I couldcall them if shit truly hit the
fan, but they were scared.
So I was like, well, both of uscan't be scared.
So I have to kind of figurethis out, and the thing that
(39:42):
I've had to push past is thewhole well, what are you doing?
What are you working on?
What are what's?
Can you show up, especially inLA?
You look at your window andlike my neighbor's a producer
and he put his screeners out inthe trash yesterday, like
everyone's on something you know.
Like you go, you walk aroundtown and you're like, oh, I know
that person, I know that personand like, do I know them from
(40:04):
the gym or do they know themfrom TV?
It's just, it's a weird town,but it's also magical, if you
choose to see it that way, thatpeople make money in creative
fields and it's not weird.
The thing that you have to ownis when success doesn't go the
way you thought it would, andOne Broke Actress has been my
empowerment into that, becauseit's built a foundation for me
(40:24):
to stand on.
I've built my own platform.
I built my own businesses.
Because I claimed it.
I said, hey, you know what'sfunny, I'm gonna name this One
Broke Actress and watch me makemoney off of it.
And I did.
It was never the plan, but Idid and I do.
And the big, the cool thing isthat, like, now I own it and now
(40:45):
people are like oh, that's socool, one Broke Actress.
Like now people are in on thejoke.
And once you start to own thepower of like yeah, you know,
I'm figuring this out as I go assoon as you start to own it, it
takes away anybody else'sopinion and power.
And the more I own stuff andthe more I invest in the people
who matter and who support meand the more I filter out the
people who don't, the lessaffected I am by all of the
(41:08):
nonsense.
And this is only gonna get morecomplicated as we get more
successful.
I know Gabrielle and I will beunder a bigger microscope and
we'll have to figure out whatthat looks like, as it happens
like when we're in production onsomething but we're still
working our jobs, but we'restill talking about it on the
internet.
I don't know what that's gonnalook like, but I'm down for the
adventure and I think once youget to that point and once
(41:30):
you're in I mean, I'm 35 yearsold.
I have a lot of good friends, Ihave a husband that loves me, I
have successful businesses.
The people who I'm trying toimpress have a lot of shit going
on and I have to sit back andthink like, well, I can't
impress anyone anymore, I justhave to exist.
So that's how I have to comeoff of it.
Gabrielle, have I given youdifferent advice?
(41:52):
What have I told you that hasbeen helpful?
Speaker 2 (41:55):
So I just wanna yeah, I was gonna just highlight what
I think is helpful is theempathetics approach, that you
have to be able to take yourpower back, because on the
in-between, right Between likeI'm gonna be an actor, this is
gonna be great Shit, I'm notbooking, why am I being an actor
?
And then people around youbeing like why are you being an
actor?
You lose your power.
That's essentially what happens, and so being an actor is a
(42:16):
fight of trying to find yourpower to stand in it, versus
when you're going to not standin it and struggle through it,
and it's an ebb and a flow.
It goes back and forward justlike a pendulum.
There are moments when I feellike I'm the best actress in the
world and there are momentswhen I'm like, why the fuck am I
here?
And it happens for all of us.
But you have to find ways tostep back in your power, and one
(42:38):
of the ways that Sam has helpedme with is being empathetic and
noticing that that person mightbe struggling more, and I don't
really.
I don't get the like they'restruggling more, so I feel sorry
for them.
So it's not that big of a deal.
That's not how I go with it.
I go with it the way Sam saidof like they're struggling more
and that fucking sucks for them,but now they don't have as much
power as I was giving them inthe moment.
(42:59):
And so, to answer your questionof like people that have family
members that don't see it thatway, I think that the other side
that I would add is likeacceptance of not everybody's
gonna see it this way and itfucking sucks that it's your
parents but at the end of theday, if this is what you wanna
do, you're gonna have to allowthat to just be the truth of the
(43:21):
scenario and find your powerfrom somewhere else.
Maybe that's a friend that isthe only friend that ever
supports this, but you always goto them to help that.
Get that support.
If you have the strength tofind your power on your own,
which is a lot harder to do,find it.
Sam said she did it through OBA.
I've done it through socialmedia and having to show up
through the haters, no matterwhat, but you have to find your
(43:42):
power and be okay with lettingthose people sit where they're
gonna sit.
It sucks to have your familymember not support you, but it
is what it is at this moment andmaybe they'll come around.
Maybe they won't, because theperspective is winning an Oscar
is not nearly as big of a dealto anybody.
That's not an actor.
I'm so sorry I can't go to thegrocery store and say I want an
(44:02):
Oscar in them, give me freegroceries.
They're gonna be like okay,bitch, it's 72, 95.
Yeah, so it's just not that bigof a fucking deal.
And a lot of people see ourcareer as a narcissistic
business, which it is.
So it's not surprising to methat more people disagree with
what we do, because it wouldmean that they might have to
(44:23):
deal with something ofthemselves that they don't wanna
deal with, of the fact of maybethey didn't pursue their dream
and maybe they're pissed offthat you're able to pursue your
dream, like when I look at itthat way, I'm like oh, because
I'm really good at being not myproblem, like that is not my
issue, the fact that you didn'tpursue your dream is not my
issue and I don't give a fuck.
So I'm just gonna move forward.
So when I can break it downthat way, that's how I can get
(44:44):
through it.
But we all know I'm a fighter.
So when people say bullshit tome about my career.
The first thing I wanna do islight their house on fire, but I
instead call Sam, and so it'sactually a lot better for most
people, it's true.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
We have these conversations a lot.
Listen, if you really want tobe comfortable with being
disliked, which I think we allshould be, be on the internet
more.
Speaker 1 (45:10):
Yeah, definitely Love it.
Oh my God, that was great All Igot.
That's not true, not all I got.
But just if I want to lightsomething on fire, call Sam,
just let her talk you down fromnot going to prison.
Speaker 3 (45:27):
I'm like a people filter Just bring it to me,
we'll figure it out.
Speaker 1 (45:32):
You remind me of my sister with that, gabrielle,
because my sister is just like.
I cannot deal with you in yourbullshit.
I'm like, oh, but maybe they'rehaving a rough day.
Oh Lord, I want to honor yourtime.
I know we're getting close tofour, so, just wrapping up, what
do you guys see?
What's coming up for themembership and for both of you
(45:54):
for 2024?
We're still very early on inthis year and I'm sure you'll
have beautiful, wonderful thingsplanned.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
So I was going to see if my great Dean was going to
stop barking or not.
Could you hear him when he wasjust barking?
Speaker 1 (46:06):
A little bit, but he can.
He can make a.
I heard him a little bit, but Ilove dogs, so he can say hello,
Okay.
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Well, you know, I wish I could tell you I have
this wild master plan, but atthe beginning of the year I read
both Sam and my cards and theywere pretty fucking clear to not
do anything extra, to sit atwhere we're at and to allow what
we're doing to be enough, whichis something that Sam and I are
not the same in multiple places, but we are the same in feeling
(46:38):
like we have to do more becausewe're really good at execution.
So we will chase the executionuntil we find another thing to
chase.
And so you know, for this year,my focus is to make the things
that I've done that are greatkeep being great and then, when
I get to next year, to allowthat to be the next stepping
(47:00):
stone.
But we worked our asses off forthe membership last year and in
that, in turn of that, it madeus upgrade everything.
Yo, Gabrielle got an upgrade,OBA got an upgrade, Fast Four
Productions got an upgrade.
So last year is all aboutupgrading.
And so for this year I'm justgoing to sit pretty, enjoy the
fruits of our labor and thennext year get to the next spot,
(47:21):
which, ironically, I think iswhat's happening with the
industry as well, is it'ssitting pretty and figuring out
what the next steps are, eventhough everybody wanted to tell
us it was going to be this giantaudition or whatever.
And so I'm like, if everythingaround is doing exactly that,
then why not?
Because I mean, let's be honest, we have a fucking election
year next year, and if I want tomake it through and not revisit
(47:42):
circling the train, I'm goingto have to take a pause this
year to be able to fight nextyear so that we don't have
people in office that areshitheads.
So that's me, and it might feelabout that.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
Yeah, it's something.
It is something we are holdingeach other accountable for is
that we have to not be theworkaholic make the next thing,
do the next thing.
We need to sit in a littlestillness this year.
Both of us do and we know thatabout each other.
So I'm going to see how much ofthat I can handle.
I'm going to honestly, thisyear, I'm very curious.
I'm not making a ton of plans.
(48:15):
I'm putting things in, I'mdoing the work, but I'm also
factoring in a lot of free timefor myself, because I think that
I'm going to need it.
So, speaking of free time, Ithink I'm about to go do a
voiceover job and Gabrielle'sabout to go to another job
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (48:32):
Well, thank you both so much for being here.
If you could rate review,follow the podcast.
I am going to wrap this upquick because you both have to
go and I so appreciate you beinghere.
But thank you both, I enjoyedthis so much.
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