Lauren Clayton and Stephanie Richie prove that finding your best friend in your 30s or 40s might be exactly when you need them most. Their friendship began accidentally at Bible study, blossomed through a shared essential oils business, and evolved into a social media partnership.
What makes their bond special isn't just their hilarious content or viral videos—it's the emotional safety they've created for each other. "I've never had that person that's said 'you're worthy the way you are,'" Lauren shares, fighting back tears. "I can be my full self with her." This vulnerability extends to their content, where they showcase both the joyful moments and challenging realities of motherhood and womanhood.
The conversation dives into the universal struggle of maintaining personal identity beyond being wives and mothers. They discuss setting boundaries with social media work, making space for family time, and the importance of filling your own cup first.
Their refreshing honesty about aging, body image, and the relentless pressure on women to maintain youthfulness strikes a powerful chord. This wisdom permeates their advice to worry less and embrace the present moment.
Whether you're a mother, searching for deeper friendship, or simply trying to navigate life with more authenticity, Lauren and Stephanie's conversation offers both comfort and inspiration. Follow their journey on Instagram to experience their uniquely relatable, joyful approach to life's messiness.
Lauren Clayton - @lolo_clayton
Stephanie Richie - @she.stewards
Liz Bachmann (Host) - @zilbachmann
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey everyone, welcome back to.
I Am Me.
Today I'm sitting down with twowonderful women who I'm talking
to for the first time today.
Actually, I met them throughInstagram and then we just
started looking at their content.
They looked at mine.
I was like hey, would you wantto be on my podcast?
So I'm sitting down with LaurenClayton and Stephanie Ritchie.
They are best friends whocreate humorous and relatable
(00:23):
and encouraging digital contentaround motherhood, friendship,
wellness and finding balance inthis crazy, messy journey we
call life.
I think, whether you're amother, a friend or just a girl
trying to figure it out, you'llget something out of today's
episode.
So, with all that said, how areyou doing today, ladies?
Good, great Thanks for having usFor sure for sure, yeah, I'm
(00:45):
super excited to have both ofyou.
So I don't know you.
So let's get a littleinformation about you.
One y'all are both married,correct?
Not their best friends?
Yeah, their best friends notmarried to each other.
I had to explain that to my mom.
I was like no, no, they're,they're friends, they're not
married to each other.
And then your kids.
(01:05):
How many kids do y'all eachhave?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I have two.
One is 10.
He just turned 10 and I have aseven-year-old daughter.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
And my son just turned 15 yesterday.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Teenager, how's that going?
How's that going.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I mean, honestly, it's super, super hard.
This year has just been superhard for me just emotionally,
because he's my only and he's mybest buddy, so but he's awesome
, it's great.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I also want to know how you two met and how long
y'all have been friends.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
So we met in 2019, I think, through Bible study and
through our church, like a homelife group, kind of like at
somebody's house where you goand like have a meal and like
sit and chat.
So we met there and then likebecame Facebook friends and
Instagram friends and then, likewe kind of didn't see each
(02:02):
other for like a year because wegot out of life group and we
just life got busy.
We didn't see each other.
And then I saw her on Facebookone day talking about Young
Living Essential Oils and I inthat time of my life had been
going through a lot of healthissues and so I bought some
stuff from her.
And then I was like okay, likeso I bought some stuff from her.
(02:33):
And then I was like okay, likelet me be more curious about the
business side, and went to herhouse, asked a bunch of
questions, started selling withher and then, through our
business, running it together, Ilike we just became best
friends.
I don't know, that's all I canthink of to describe it.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I mean it's super cool because we it just was
organically made and I feel likeit's super different to be able
to find a best friend in yourlate 30s, early 40s, because we
had an established circle, butit's very refreshing for sure.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
So you both create a lot of content together, as well
as y'all create digital contentindividually.
The two of you y'all use socialmedia like in a positive light.
That's content's veryencouraging and relatable.
So what, I guess, prompted youto start creating this content?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
online.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Honestly, I feel like it was somewhat accidental.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
We love to have fun together and we had an idea.
It was, I remember the veryfirst one, honestly the first
you do that we made togetherthat went viral.
Oh, that kind of sparked ourinterest because it hit over
like 20 something million views.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
We started getting follows and comments on it.
We're like this could be athing, like people and we play
well off of each other.
And so after that they we'relike let's just do this to have
fun, never really putting anypressure on ourselves.
Granted, there can be some likeoh my gosh, now we have to feel
like we have to like post allthe time, become somewhat a job,
but it's been fun and we get somany compliments about us being
(04:04):
so many and it's like a laughof like okay, you guys haven't
posted Where's your best friend,Like if I'm out somewhere,
where's Lauren?
I'm like man, people do thinkthat we are like a test of the
hip, so it's been a fun journey.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I agree.
Do y'all have sisters?
I do, I'm an old child.
There is essentially what youtwo are for each other, but I
think it's so special that youhave found, like you said, that
friendship in life, becausefriendship is so important, and
I think, especially you two,from what I can tell, because,
also, like social media, we youknow, we hear it's a highlight
(04:38):
reel and I know that y'all havelife outside of this, but from
what I can tell, y'all seem tohave a good balance of having
life outside of being a motherand being a wife.
How do you keep your ownidentity separate from those?
Because, obviously, being awife, being a mom, is part of
your journey in your life, but Ithink it's just so important
(05:00):
for you to also pursue your owndreams, your own passions, and
you two both seem to do that.
So how do y do y'all do thatLike?
Speaker 3 (05:07):
it's not just happened there.
At the beginning of us kind ofdoing our businesses together, I
I personally struggled quite abit with balancing life and work
, which this is work for me, youknow, being on social media and
talking about what I love withproducts and young living and
things, and I I would textStephanie, call Stephanie like
(05:30):
really kind of upset and crying.
Like you know, andrew, myhusband is starting to like feel
like I'm not around, like I'mon my phone a lot and she had to
say, like Lauren, you have tobe able to balance things, like
you have to give yourself likeouts of time.
So like, really for me now,when my kids get home in the
afternoon, like I don't reallyshare.
(05:52):
I might share a story here andthere on on Instagram, but
posting reels and thingsStephanie and I have kind of
down to a science now like wepost if we share together, we
share at the same time of thenight, like basically it's after
my kids go to bed, so like, andwe prep ahead of time, so like
I prep things while the kids aregone and so things are ready,
(06:14):
so that when I'm at a ball gamelike last night and I shared my
reel last night I was at theball game and it was ready like
I already had it prepared.
So it's more about like beingorganized, and Stephanie is like
the queen of organization, andso she's kept me more on test.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I also think too.
It's like in Laura I eventhough we're very similar, we're
also very different, which Ireally works well for our
friendship?
yeah, but for me, as far asseparating it, I also think it
has to do with, like, the timethat I was born.
I'm 42 and I grew up withoutmedia.
(06:52):
I didn't have a phone until Iwas a junior in high school and
I didn't have social media untilI don't even, I guess, when it
came in College.
And so I still have thatbalance because I know that I
lived without it and I know thefruit that it comes with being
(07:13):
able to disconnect and be onyour own, and also it's not
selfish to take care of yourself.
I'm a very I'm very good atself-care and I know that term
is thrown out there so looselybut I feel like it's very
important to fill our cup firstand then in order.
If I can fill my cup up first,I'm a very good friend, I'm a
good mom.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Not to say that it's always easy I don't ever want to
portray that it's easy, butsometimes it does come across as
that to others but I think itis important to be able to just
live life in a good balance andnot have your eggs in one little
basket, you know and as far as,like you saying, you all make
it seem like so you know, youall, your all's friendship is it
(07:53):
is really this positive, likeour friendship, like it's this
when we're texting like we, Ican maybe think of one argument,
maybe like one or two in ourlife, you know, I don't know,
just like a little bickering,you know, but we're on it.
We can be honest with each otherwithout the like oh, she's
going to be pissed at me fordays, you know.
(08:14):
Like she's not going to do thatto me, like if she's mad at me,
she'll be like I'm mad at youor I wish you would have done
that or whatever, and we move on.
But like it really is like this, like what you see on real, on
Instagram and the way we danceand act, like that is literally
how we are.
Yeah, maybe even more to theextreme.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Probably.
I think that's why peopleprobably gravitate towards the
both of you, because you know, Imean, that's what we do, right,
that's.
Nobody is on imperfect all thetime.
We're goofy and we're silly andhumans are so multi-faceted.
And then I think also it's likeLauren, you're in your 30s,
correct?
Steph, you're in your 40s, isthat right?
(08:53):
And it's like just becauseyou're aging doesn't mean the
fun and the lightness andexactly, and the, the little
girl essentially that you know,like that doesn't go away just
because you're a mom or you're awife or you're not 20 or 15
anymore.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
And I think y'all embrace that really well, we've
always talked about how we wishwe would have met each other a
lot sooner in life, but it iswhat it is.
We've met each other.
Now.
It's weird to have found mybest friend in my 30s, because I
really struggled with friendsthat I know Stephanie did too
all through our life and itbrought us to the point where,
like she gets me, I get her,like we finally find that person
(09:36):
that's like I can be my fullself, I don't have to pretend to
be anybody different and sheloves me for who I am.
And like.
That's's rare to find,especially, even, you know, a
lot of people find that in theirhigh school days and I, you
know, I just did it.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I think that's.
I think that's an importantthing to talk about, though,
because friendships hard, and Iand I know there are people who
had their high school bestfriend and they're still friends
into their thirties, forties,fifties, whatever.
And that's awesome's awesome,but fringe like for me, some of
my closer friends have come inmy later 20s and I don't have a
(10:09):
ton of friends like I have a lotof acquaintances, but like
really forming and having aclose friendship, it is a huge
commitment.
It's a relationship like anyother that you have to invest in
.
So I think talking aboutfinding your friend, like your
close friends later in life,like that can still happen, like
(10:30):
you don't, just becausesometimes you'll see content, I
would say online, you'll seepeople who are like they've been
best friends since they werekids and they're still hanging
out to this day, and noteverybody has that.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
I had.
I had a reel that I sharedrecently in last couple months,
of Stephanie and me and it hitthe biggest views that I've ever
received, which was about 33million views on that reel and
and so many people commented tome and said, like how they've
they resonated with that becausethey've had their best friend
(11:04):
for years.
Like I've had women say, likewe've been best friends since we
were seven.
I'm like like that's amazing,like I do wish that we would
have met, but I also wonder,like I was a very different
person back then than I am nowand I'm not sure Stephanie and
Lauren would have maybe been asgood of friends back then.
Because I feel like ourexperiences kind of change us as
(11:25):
people and because of the way Iexperienced things, like I
became a person who, like Idon't want to take crap anymore
Cause I did that all through theyears Like a lot of crap.
Are you a people pleaser?
Do a people pleaser Friendships?
I used to be yeah, andStephanie and I are pretty tough
women.
Now, like we both like don't,don't take crap.
(11:48):
Like we're not bitches butwe're like very.
Like we're sweet, but likedon't piss us off because, like
I will stand up for myself andso will she.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Like if somebody messes with us in public, it's
going down, like it just isn'tgonna, it's not enough and I
think it's also just we aretactful and we we are competent
and we are strong personality ina good way, like, like Lauren
said, and I do believe that whatwe have gone through in our
(12:16):
younger years really made us whowe are and got in the time that
we were supposed to be friends.
At this moment and I mean, I ama different person than what I
was and I feel like a lot ofpeople.
Anyway, I feel like everybodychanges as a person as you grow.
You hope so.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Yes, I was going to ask you how it's easier to be
confident when you have someonein your corner.
So how has your friendshiphelped boost your confidence and
help you want to stand up foryourself, because it's harder
when, like, that's just you andyou're questioning stuff.
And then when you kind of startseeing someone's, like hey, she
really sticks up for herself,she owns her power, I can do
(12:56):
that too.
How has that like helped?
Y'all's friendship helpedincrease your confidence in your
own stuff, in your own morals,in your own beliefs?
Well, you have somebody to goto.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I mean, just like you said, you have somebody to go
to, you have somebody.
We have a lot of the samebeliefs.
We somewhat we don't have thesame lifestyle, but we believe
in a lot of the same things andwe know that that person, like
Lauren, is always going to bethere if I need to talk to her,
and the other way around.
And I do believe that you knowwe bring out the best in each
(13:26):
other.
If we're ever down or whatever,you really encourage the other
person.
Like you are worthy and likethis is something that, like you
, really need to pay attentionto.
Like Lauren and I've hadconversations like this before
I'm like, okay, friend, why areyou being so hard on yourselves?
Don't, don't do that.
Say that like you and I thinkit helps.
(13:48):
It helps both of ourpersonalities.
It helps, um, just us continueto grow in our faith and as
people and as wives and, as youknow, everything else, I agree.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
I feel like she's probably boasting my confidence
more than the other way around.
Stephanie is a very confidentperson.
Even the day I met her she wasvery confident.
But I definitely have grown inmy confidence to be able to put
myself on social media and I cansay Stephanie was a big part of
that because she encouraged meand she told me.
She literally was like you areamazing at your job, you're
(14:21):
amazing at this business.
Like cause I really doubtedmyself at the beginning and to
say, okay, we're going to dothis Instagram thing together
and we're going to like growtogether.
And I really really struggledwith it along the way because I
don't feel, like what do I haveto offer?
Like, what am I going to offeranybody on this platform?
(14:41):
But she is like my person.
That's like, dude, you're doingit, you're doing a great job
like.
She's always encouraged me andI've never really had that like
I have I'm gonna cry.
I've never had that personthat's like said, like you're
worthy the way you are, youdon't have to be anybody else,
because I have struggled withfriendships all through my life
(15:02):
and I'm not getting into allthat on this podcast, but it is
true and I feel like God doesput people in your life at
certain times in your life for areason, and when I was going
through all my health stuff likeit was right after I got
through it all, I wish Stephaniehad been there through when I
was going through it, but I'mgrateful that she was put in my
(15:22):
life in the timeline that shewas because I needed to focus on
something else besides myhealth and she helped get me
through that.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
What's funny is on.
So my last episode was with twowomen who they're actors, but
they created a business togetherand are really close friends.
That was the first time I thinkI had two people on and y'all
are following it up with anothertwo people, which is fun, but
they were talking about howthey're like you want to build a
backbone.
You want to learn to like standin your power and not give a
(15:52):
crap what people say they'relike.
Start consistently postingstuff on social media because,
for even though you'll havepositive people who support you,
who relate to you, there'salways going to be people who
are just negative and have postsomething mean we've had that.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
That's when you know you've arrived in instagram.
When you get that, I wasstephanie can tell you her story
.
But I posted a reel about mykids winning a fish at the
carnival and I got bashedbecause of the what I like the
container that I put this fishin, which was it was fish bowl,
like it was legit.
And I got put on a fish haterFacebook group somehow because
(16:35):
all of a sudden my Instagramstarts blowing up with all these
comments from all these fishpeople.
I'm like how am I being foundon from all these fish like fish
lovers?
And somebody finally told meyou were posted on fish hater
facebook group.
I was like mortified.
I took it down because I waslike getting told that I was a
bad mom and like all thesethings and you grow as a person.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
For sure you have to have tough skin, especially if
you're gonna put yourself outthere on social and you just
have to know that those commentsdon't mean anything.
Actually, I'd rather peoplestart arguing in in the comment
because that's going to give meengagement.
My, the one that I had the mosthate on was my.
It hit 56 million and it wasbasically me at the pantry with
(17:21):
the audio and just sayingsomething like healthy me wanted
a snack at the grocery store,but fat me didn't, and so the
word fat was a trigger not tosay that I was calling anybody
fat, but it was like my innerchild just saying you know,
we've all been there.
It's like you wish you had chipsat home but you didn't buy them
or whatever, and so people werebashing me, basically telling
(17:43):
me that I'm the reason whypeople had to eat.
You're what's wrong with yeah,and I'm like man.
And so it went back and forth,back and forth, and so I would
reply to a couple.
I'm like thank you so much forthe engagement.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I actually saw that real.
That one, I think, was before Isaw that real, before I
followed you guys, oh really,and I thought it was hilarious.
Yeah, I was fat.
Okay, I love people who are likeI'm fat and they're like I
didn't say I wasn't pretty, likeyou're the one who just added
like a negative connotation tothe word cat and I was gonna
(18:20):
tell you too when I was a kid Iwas at a carnival and found out
like all I had to do was getlike a ping pong ball in the
little like yeah that's what wedid.
Yeah, the million fish bowls toget a fish and my mom had like
turned us loose at this carnival.
I came back with like five fishoh my god she was.
She was like no, no, it's like,bro, I'm getting so many pets
(18:42):
right now like, and I like strutup with my like bags of
goldfish, and my mom was like,absolutely not take this back,
like I don't know where theycame from, but no, that was
funny that I feel like everybody, every mom.
I was the kid in the story.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
But like nobody wants that many fish and like I
didn't even want the fish in thefirst place, I really blame my
husband more than anybodybecause he like encouraged it so
much, but that fish did die.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I will not well, most of them are sick, mine, I got
to keep one.
I got to keep one.
I'm sorry, but if you put ahundred fish in individual,
right they're not.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
You still gave them a better life than living in that
cooler full of fish.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
You're bashing her for getting a fish and making it
live in a better life thanliving in that cooler full of
fish.
You're bashing her for gettinga fish and making it live in a
better life, but these thingswere in plastic bags people will
do anything on it, say anythingon instagram and go back and
forth my mom.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
She was cracking up.
I know we're like completelyoff topic, but my mom she was
cracking up too.
She's like you got this freefish.
We laugh about it now, but thenwe had to go and spend like 80
bucks at the pet store.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Yes, that's exactly what we did and we still have.
We went through eight fishbefore we finally kept one alive
.
You're gonna.
So after that fish died, myhusband went out and bought,
like all these different otherfish, and ended up now we have a
beta, beta fish whatever theirthings are called.
And we've had that thing forlike nine or ten months and
(20:03):
today he's going back to thestore and getting another fish
tank for my daughter's war out.
This is not I and I havenothing to do with it.
I said I will not clean it.
I'm not, I'm not.
I have two dogs.
I'm not taking care of fish.
So he knows he doesn't even askme.
I love my dogs, my dog.
I love my dog more than most ofthe people that live here
that's fair enough so that'sfair I was gonna.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
So that's actually a good segue because, like fish
and pets and all the stuffaround being a mom, there's
eight million billion opinionson motherhood and how to do it
right and people who don't havekids and people who do have kids
, and whether you're buyinghealthy snacks or if you want
(20:45):
some chips in your pantry,whatever.
How do y'all deal with that?
Like, I mean, there's no manualon how to be a mother but, like
you have your gut instincts.
How do you deal with just allthe because now we live in this
information?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
age too where everybody?
it's different, especially withfrom when and I'm sure Lauren
can say this when my son wasborn 15 years ago, to now.
There's so much moreinformation.
I'm, and everyone's, differentand I feel like never give any
like unsolicited advice to a, asoon-to-be mom or soon-to-be
(21:23):
parent, because they need toexperience their own situations
themselves.
You know, when I was pregnant,we I had so many opinions coming
at me.
It honestly never affected me.
I'm very firm and like what mybeliefs are and I it.
It did get to me at some point,but when I was pregnant, when
you can have another one likewhoa now I still have this one
(21:46):
in my belly and you would getcomments about why do you only
have one kid?
Why does it matter?
Is it affecting you any?
No, it's just, it is what it is.
And so like people will alwaysthrow their opinions because and
here's the thing, and I get itbecause they think that their
way is the only way, or theywere taught in a certain way and
it might've worked for them andit might.
It's not always in a hatefulway, but I will say it is very
(22:09):
overwhelming for a mom to mom.
I think that you know, lauren,and I talk about.
You know, it's hard for me inthe teenage years now, but I
think it's just more so beingthere for that person and giving
ideas in a way that like hey,have you tried this instead of
you need to do this?
You know what I mean.
Yeah, there's always those kindof comments and I could go off
(22:32):
on a topic, but I don't evenwant to put it on here.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
I also really try on social media to not only show
the good moments, because andI've been told like, thank you
for sharing the bad sometimesbecause, like I see so many
people on Instagram that justshare the perfect thing and say
the perfect thing and make itseem like they're the perfect
mom and do the perfect, make theperfect move all the time, and
I'm like that is not reality andyou're making a lot of people
feel bad, like I'm just beinghonest, like there's no way that
(23:08):
you're that calm and collectedand say the most perfect things
to your kid all the time.
We're not perfect.
We're so imperfect it's noteven funny.
So I'm not going to sit thereand show my kid like throwing a
fit on the floor and me likeyelling at them, but I will say
like dude, it's been a hard day,like I'm not gonna lie, my
daughter was acting a fool, likewhatever, like I'm very honest
(23:30):
on social media because I don'twant my followers or anybody
that sees my content to be likeoh, you're like that perfect.
I don't want to follow youbecause you, I can't relate to
you.
This is all about beingrelatable and no one's perfect.
No one has it all together.
I'm a very impatient mom andthat is my fault, like my.
My downfall, I guess, is I don'thave a lot of patience and so I
(23:54):
get especially with having thetwo that are so close in age
that fight a lot.
I think that's what drives meup a wall the most is the
fighting, and so I lose my mindsometimes, you know, and so
Stephanie is my outlet because Isometimes don't know what else
to do.
But as far as like everydaymommy and like my husband, I are
(24:16):
a great team.
I literally, literally couldnot do this life of parenting
without him.
Like he takes on a lot, heworks from home and helps take
kids to school, like today heknew I had this, so he took them
to school, and so I I'm verygrateful and thankful for having
a partner that when he can, isthere and will step in.
(24:40):
When I can't, because it'sreally hard to do, I feel for
the moms that are single momsand have no body, because
they're trying to work and takecare of a household and take
care of kids and like those aresuperheroes, true superheroes
(25:07):
yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
So I look I nannied full-time.
I am not claiming to be aparent at all.
I always preface that I but Ilove kids.
Kids are hard and you, theyhave great days, but I think
it's like people don't a lot oftimes don't think of kids as
like they're just like us.
They, they are people too.
They have the range of emotionsthey have bad days, they have
(25:28):
that.
You know, like I don't wake upevery day happy and so you can,
like I could show up, being likeit's going to be a great day,
and then he is teething, or hewas you, you know, and and it
was just like we gave in and wewatched Elmo because I, that was
the only thing that calmed him.
(25:49):
And you know, I think it's justinsane that people just don't
think of that.
And your kids are just notlittle perfect people, no matter
how hard you try they're littlepeople with their own
personalities, their ownemotions, all that stuff that
you're trying to balance, andyou have all that stuff going on
inside of you too Well, so Ithink it's very interesting.
(26:12):
Just, I don't like honestly.
I'm like can we all just likegive each other a break and
recognize?
Recognize, like for the mostpart, we're just trying to do
the best we can with the toolsthat we have and the kids that
are in school.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Now, like I sub at my kids school and I see how much
they do, even the littlekindergartners like they are
working the whole time, likethey don't get.
They get a 30 minute recess andthat's it.
Everything is like paper Dothis, do that, do that, do that,
and then when they get home,then I used to have a lot of.
(26:48):
I didn't appreciate what all mykids did at school before I
subbed, because they would gethome from school and I'd be like
, ok, now you need to like eat asnack, and then you've got to
do your homework, and then youneed to do this chore, and then
you've got practice tonight andmy daughter would just melt,
like literally melt, and I'mlike what is your deal?
And now, after subbing, Irealize how much they do, and so
(27:09):
, like this, this whole weekwe've had 7 30 PM game.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
My kids play baseball and softball and so we haven't
even been getting in them in thebed until 10 o'clock at night.
So I did something that I'venever done today and I let my
kids sleep in and they were lateto school because I'm like my
daughter is melting, like lastnight I was watching, we were
watching my son play baseballand she's laying in her chair
(27:35):
falling asleep and I feel bad,but like I want to watch him
play and like I want to be thereto support him, and it's just
hard when you've got both sides.
She's only seven, so I let hersleep in and she was 30 minutes
late to school and I'm like, isit going to hurt her?
Like I would rather her be in agood mood.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
I took Bo out of school early yesterday and I
think sometimes we just get sowrapped up in schedule schedule,
schedule time, time that theyget overstimulated.
They need rest just as much aswe do.
And when they areoverstimulated, that's when you
know arguments happen, orthey're frustrated and they
don't know how to communicatethe way that we know how to
communicate, and then that'swhen all this melts.
but like warren said like Ithink that's awesome that you
(28:19):
let them sleep in.
Yeah, it's not gonna ruin theirlife if you take them out of
school today, if you, whatever,and those are going to be the
memory that you're going to have.
Remember when you let me sleepin like it's not.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Uh, they're in middle school not in first, yeah, not
in first grade.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Well, it's also, it's also just recognizing that.
You know, say you work all dayand then you had to go to an
event or do something thatevening, which you do.
Do that because you're mom, soyou do work all day, and then
you take care of your kids andyou go to baseball games and all
that.
It's like that's taking a tollon you.
You're getting tired.
And then they've had just aslong of a day Maybe different,
(29:00):
but just as long of a day.
They've been up since 6, 7,whatever time they get up for
school in the morning had a fullday of school and then they
haven't stopped all day.
No, and I just think a lot oftimes we just don't realize that
we're just like, why are younot on?
Why are you not a happy kid?
(29:21):
You know, I get so annoyed whenI work with some older people.
I, because I have a part-timejob also and the I'm 28 and
they'll they'll say, oh, you'reso young, why are you tired
and'm like?
Because I'm a human.
I, yeah, I have human all daylong Like I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
I have not stopped this week, like you know I,
though, like if you, if you'veever traveled out of the country
, and I always use this as anexample.
So, spain, I went to Spain, andI don't want to say lived there
, but I was there for threeweeks after my senior year,
graduation.
I spent that time with mygrandfather who lived over there
, and the way of life there iscompletely different than the
(30:01):
way of life here.
They put an emphasis on family,not to say that we don't, but
they put an emphasis on rest andfamily, exercise, sunlight and
not strict schedules.
They close down the day.
All the places close down forabout two hours.
Schools get let out, businessesget let out, they go home and
spend time with their family,and then they resume their
(30:23):
activities.
And it shows, and everybody,I'm like, are you all really
this happy Like?
Is everybody really this happyLike?
We're all so stressed over herein the United States.
I love my country, but I'm justsaying like we're always
impatient.
Now, now, now, quick, quick,quick.
And it makes us like over,overstimulated, so much where
we're just like, oh my gosh, Ijust and we don't rest enough.
(30:46):
Think of how many times and I'mgoing on a rant how like, go
for it, my husband works 48 to50 hours a week to support our
family, and that's hard, andthen just to retire at the age
of 60 or 70, like I don't know,and finally rest, finally rest.
Like it's crazy to me.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
No, I completely, 100% agree with you, and I think
it's mind blowing to me howmany times I will have an
afternoon that's available and Ican feel like I've been up
since 5 am and my body is sotired and I feel so guilty with
the notion of me going to laydown and take a one hour, two
(31:31):
hour nap.
I'm like, I'm like'm like, no,just pound some more coffee or
grab an energy drink, and I'mlike dude your heart.
But it's like.
It's insane to me that there'sjust this guilt that if we're
not always going and we're, oryou get to the end of your day
and it's, you know, seven, eighto'clock and you just want to
(31:51):
sit down and relax, sometimesthere's even guilt with that.
Well, I didn't get this donetoday.
Do that either.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
That's, yeah, that's the both of us.
If we don't have a sport in theevening, we're all laying down
by 8, 8.30.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
But like that's, good .
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Yeah, it's not always possible.
And I feel for the people thatdo have to work like outside the
home and eight to five job andthen come home to kids and
homework and dinner and all thatand then, like, get their
household done.
I'm like how did.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
how did we do it, though, because we used to do it
, I know.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
I don't know.
I can't remember, like, beforeI finally got to quit because I
used to do so Stephanie and Iboth did have full time jobs at
one point.
Because I used to do so,stephanie and I both did have
full-time jobs at one point Iused to do accounting for a
living.
I was a tax accountant forseveral years before my kids got
kind of more in the picture.
My youngest was born and that'swhen I finally quit.
But I had two kids at one pointand trying to work full-time
(32:50):
and I'm like how do I do this?
Like it was hard, but I thinkit's even harder as they get
older because they're doing morethings.
They're in after schoolactivities and sports and that
kind of stuff and that hangs upa lot of your evenings too.
We're very sport familyStephanie and I are, so we're
kind of on the go with sports alot.
But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Yeah, I not not a mom , but I grew up playing sports,
so it was like my evenings andweekends were packed with soccer
.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Yeah, we literally leave tomorrow, we get to rest
today.
We've had four games this week.
We get to rest today and thenwe leave out of town tomorrow
for two nights for a tournamentbaseball tournament.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Yep, we had that, mine was soccer, but same thing
all weekend would be goneplaying multiple games I mean
it's fun and like it's memoriesthat I'll have forever.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
I know I'll remember all this, but by yesterday I
looked like I felt like I wasrough yesterday.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Well, I showered for this.
So no, I appreciate it.
I appreciate it.
I mean, you didn't have to.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
We can't smell you or anything, we're all in our own
spaces no but my hair, my hairlooked like I'd been in the rain
for 18 hours Stepping back frombeing a mom, but just being a
woman.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Comparison.
I want to come back to that.
How do y'all deal with?
Because?
on top of like being a mom.
There's so much just being agirl.
It's just hard, and how we takecare of ourselves, how we look,
you know.
And then y'all are in your 30sand 40s and I'm not saying
you're old, I'm about to be 30,so, and then, like a year, so no
(34:26):
shade or tea.
I recognize that I'm gettingolder.
I am just saying with that, I'mlike okay, you were aging, our
skin is not looking like it didat 18, you know.
So how do you deal with thattoo?
Just aging and the comparisonof that especially, I think what
you touched on, steph, in ourcountry it's different.
(34:47):
how, like we're not expected toage in America as women, my
issue.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
I don't necessarily have comparison to other women
right now, but I have in thepast and again I think it shifts
as you get older.
You just get more comfortablein your skin.
What I'm having a hard timeright now is aging in general,
just my skin changing, my bodychanging, just aging in general.
That is a fear of mine which Iknow that I don't want.
(35:14):
The other like.
I would rather be here and age,but that is probably the
hardest thing.
Ever since I started gettinginto my 40s.
This has probably been thehardest year for me.
I just am realizing.
I look back at pictures like,oh my gosh, and I know like I'm
confident with myself, I feellike I'm a pretty person, but I
also feel like I mourn theperson that I looked like when I
(35:37):
was in my twenties.
My skin was tighter, I lookedyounger and I feel like there is
a big pressure now.
Now with everybody you know andI go get facials, I get that
stuff done, but there's apressure with women to always
look 20.
Like always look 20 to have acertain body type, but nothing
(36:01):
is ever perfect.
I want to read something to youthat I sent to Lauren yesterday
, and this was actually inrelation to aging, and it says
imagine being in your 80s andyou catch yourself thinking
about your life, how you nevertook that trip to go swimming in
the ocean on a beautiful summerday because you didn't like the
way you looked in your swimsuit, realizing you never laughed
(36:22):
until you couldn't breathebecause your teeth weren't
straight enough.
And it basically went on and onand on talking about the things
that we don't do because of ourimage, because of the things
that we don't want to focus on,and I feel like that is just
taking so much joy and time awayfrom our current moment because
we're so worried about certainthings as women, and I fall in
that trap.
I fall in like, oh bad, yeah, Idon't want to be seen.
(36:43):
Or in my face, I don't want tobe seen, whatever, I don't know.
I feel like it's hard, andespecially now, young girls and
I don't have a girl, but Laurenand I talk because she does, I
have a girl.
Yeah, it is scary right nowwith the way social media is,
because there's access toinformation, there's access to
image, and now every young girl,even boy, they have peers and
(37:07):
they want whatever like the nextshiny thing is.
And we fall into that trap andI thought to them like man, if I
didn't have social media?
What if we did it?
What if we didn't have socialmedia?
It would be like I grew up andeverybody would be a little bit
happier because you're notpaying attention to the person
on the other side of the screen,on everything that they have,
that you don't you know Well, Ialmost canceled this podcast
(37:29):
because of this cold sore.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
So like I get it, like we get into our image now I
will say I think I'm okay in myaging process right now because
I'm not really aging that muchyet but I'm only in my mid-30s.
I know it's coming like I movea little slower up the stairs
maybe, but like with my jointsand stuff, but like that's in my
back might go out every once ina while, but as far as like my
(37:53):
skin and stuff, honestly I'mjust gonna say this a lot of it
has to do with Young Livingproducts for me.
I do and I'm just throwing thatout there not as an
advertisement but as a like forreal like it is reverse aging me
, like I feel like I look betterin my 30s than I did in my 20s,
especially on my face and myskin, with using better products
(38:14):
.
So that is, that is the agingside of it for me.
But I do have a lot of momentswhere I feel insecure with my
body, just like you know things.
You know fat hanging in placesthat I wish wasn't kind of thing
.
And I'm trying and I do the bestthat I can for the lifestyle
that I have.
I mean, it's hard to do.
(38:34):
You can't do everything.
It's hard to I struggle to tryto fit everything in a day and
like, even with my kids beinggone for six hours, you think,
gosh, you should have every,your house should be perfect.
No, like it is like I do have ajob, I do the young, I do this
business and I do sub-sum andthen, like you try, it takes
time to like do the dishes anddo the laundry and like, then
(38:57):
you work and you do other thingsand it's like, well, that's
three o'clock, like the kids aregoing to be home in 30 minutes,
you know.
So it's like I I try toprioritize working out and
that's something that Stephanieand I talked a lot about,
because she does do a very goodjob of prioritizing exercise and
I have been trying to do betterand and eating better and
(39:17):
things like that.
But it does catch up to you, Iwill say, with aging, like you
can't eat the same without itaffecting your body.
My goodness, you eat a littlefrench fry and suddenly there's
some more love handles all of asudden.
So yeah, I agree with you.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
I've become like, so like I I'm aware that, like my
skin, especially in my forehead,and like in between here I'm
like that's not looking the samewhich I did when I was turned
26 I started getting I am on myskincare routine like I don't
skip mornings and I don't skipevenings, like, and I'm all
about sunscreen, but it's justcrazy, like how it changes.
(39:57):
One thing you mentioned, steph,was your.
You have a son, but I thinkeven you're, with social media
and all that, you're seeingteenage boys and younger boys.
They care a lot more aboutappearance, in my, my opinion,
than they used to.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
I didn't know that I actually had a teenage daughter
Like, like, why are you focusingso much on your hair?
But it is a thing and hedoesn't have.
He has Snapchat, but thatthat's it, and it's highly
monitored.
But other than that, he doesn'thave Facebook, he doesn't have
Instagram, he doesn't haveTikTok, nothing.
(40:38):
But it is in person that he isseeing.
I said, honey, like you'regonna start looking like
everybody else with the, andit's not to where his hair is,
where he wants it.
Now he's currently in a growout phase, but he uses my hair
diffuser in the morning, he putsa gel in it and he's caught.
Well, imagine if he had socialmedia this hair is a thing, and
it's not just him, it'sliterally a yes.
I don't understand.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
I'm terrified.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
I'm terrified to have I mean, it's not, it's his hair
.
He can wear the weight, yeah,and we get it cut the way he
wants and like I can't controlthat, even though it's not my
favorite thing, he looks betterwhen it's like clean cut on the
sides.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
I'm like, if you want to look like you got a toupee
on your head, go for it.
Yeah, I just I agree, though Ithink like that's something.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
I've noticed a lot that like boys they do all the
boys like, especially like inbaseball and stuff.
I've noticed like the baseballteams, like all the kids have
these.
Well, and in Lucas's age thething is like um mullets yeah
like mullets and perms, permsand a mullet yeah, kids with
perms in the back in theirmullet.
(41:44):
I'm like you realize you'regonna grow up one day and think
you look stupid right.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Also what we did, though, when we were younger.
What was our thing, I don'tknow.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
In high school, we had the boys had frosted tips
like highlight whenever.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
I was growing up.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
I mean we all did it.
We all had phases where wewanted to fit in and we bought
the shoes or the shirts orwhatever.
So we can't like say, like myright now even my third grader,
he wants Jordans because kids atschool wear them you know, yeah
.
I'm buying.
I mean, I didn't buy them.
My mother-in-law did like $200pair of shoes for a third grader
(42:20):
right and you're like, onlywear these for special occasions
seriously, yeah, seriously.
But my daughter is the one whoI'm terrified.
I told Stephanie I'm likeyou're gonna have to help me
raise her, like in all honesty,because I'm already struggling
with her big time, with emotionsand her clothes, and she's
(42:40):
seven, oh god she's not seven,she's 18.
She's 17.
Yeah, she's definitely older,and that's the thing is.
She's been on social media withme since she was three, because
I've been doing this since shewas that old, and so she will a
lot of times be on there with meand I not that she's like
sitting there scrolling, she'sjust on the videos and stuff
sometimes.
(43:01):
But I try not to be super intomy own appearance.
Like you know, I have messyhair days and things like that,
and I'll go to ball gameslooking like crap and she's like
you're going out looking likethat and I'm like, yes, ma'am, I
am like she just cares too muchand she'll like go back and
change her clothes after Ialready picked out her clothes
well, I think also, even if shedidn't have any idea social
(43:24):
media, like what social mediawas or anything, you still are
going to school with kids whoare you know, there's a lot of
parents have different rules andrestrictions on that.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Some Some kids are on social media, have their own
social media.
Speaker 3 (43:37):
Oh, you would be blown away to see the number of
kids and like the younger ageshaving cell phones and stuff.
Like there are some first andsecond graders that have cell
phones.
I'm like you have to know, youdon't even know.
Like you know how to work it.
Yes, but like you like actuallyit's funny.
You said that because yesterdaymy daughter was watching
something on TV and it saidsomething about can you imagine
not having social media?
And she goes oh, that would beterrible.
(43:58):
And I'm like I said, do youeven know what social media is?
And she goes, yeah, I wouldn'tbe able to watch videos.
I was like, ok.
So she thinks, like YouTube,like that's what she thinks.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Oh man, ok, I want to close this out with you guys.
I, okay, I want to close thisout with you guys.
I'm curious what advice wouldyou give to your younger self
Like, what piece of advice wouldyou give?
Speaker 2 (44:17):
To not worry so much about the future and to not
worry so much about the past andjust focus on the present
moment, because, in the grandscheme of things, life is short
and just to really really enjoylife, like truly enjoy life.
I feel like that's really what Icontinually tell myself that
all the time that I've gonethrough so much and I know
(44:40):
Lauren's gone through so much,gone through so many things
where I've lost friends, where Ihave lost family members by
death, where I just grew up in acrazy household when I was
younger and a lot of the timeswe focus so much on what is
going on in the past or thepresent to try to control and
change our future, our direction, that we forget and we worry so
(45:01):
much that we forget about whatwe're actually experiencing life
right this minute.
I'm such a believer and adreamer and a doer and I am such
a person who I love life somuch, like love life so much
that I just want to experienceit all all the time and just be
super happy all the time which,again, is not always going to
(45:24):
happen.
We're going to have angrymoments, but just to not worry
so much, it's not, it's notworth it.
Speaker 3 (45:31):
That was exactly what I was going to say.
I was actually worried.
It's not, it's not worth it.
That was exactly what I wasgonna say.
I was actually worry.
I I'm a big worrier and Icouldn't tell you how many times
my dad would like quotescripture to me when I was
younger because I would get soworried about my grade and like
school and just like a lot ofthings mainly school and grades
(45:51):
and stuff when I was younger.
So it might to tell my youngerself not to worry so much, that
life is going to be great andthat you know, working hard pays
off and things like that.
But like not to let it get tome because I do feel like
worrying and anxiety has been abig reason why I've had health
issues and I maybe could haveavoided some of those things if
(46:12):
I hadn't worried so much aboutwhat, about what's going on,
because I still worry.
I'm a mom and a wife and I stillhave a lot of doubts and
concerns about the way you knowlife is going or what you know.
What if this happens, or whatif that happens?
And so I just, if I can,minimalize the amount of worry
(46:33):
and just be enjoying lifebecause life is really short and
I don't want to take, I don'twant to wish it all away by just
worrying so much and justwanting to get through something
and also travel more.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
Sometimes we get so much like in our bubble that we
just don't want to explore.
And I'm huge into traveling anda lot of people you know, like
I've had people say well, howcan you afford travel?
Like I don't have money?
I'm like, well, at the time,like years ago, we didn't have
money either and we still madeit work.
We always plan, we always aresaving for a year in advance to
(47:07):
go on a trip and to take thetrip and to experience.
I feel like experiences are soimportant, just like what Lauren
said about her kids thismorning.
She let them that's anexperience.
That is doing, I feel likeexperiences Do?
I love material things 100%.
There's a good balance of thatbut I also love experiences so
much more.
There's so many more memoriesthat you can create and have and
(47:29):
just continuing to creatememories and I feel like
experiences are going to alwayswin.
Your heart's just going to behappy.
We crave human interaction, wecrave having fun, we crave
adventure at some sort of aspect, and I think it's so super
important to be able to takeadvantage of that instead of
just being in our own bubble.
Take challenges, do somethingthat's scary you know what I
mean.
Like, don't just sit and waitand wish at things.
(47:53):
Do the thing and say yes toyourself and take a chance on
yourself.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
I always.
I love when people give likethese little rants of advice
because I just am like, there'sthe social media tag.
Well, I love talking to both ofyou so much.
Is there anything y'all want tosay in closing?
Anything exciting you havecoming up, anything people can
watch out for on y'all's socialsyou never know what you're
gonna see.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
Or right here we will go a couple weeks sometimes
without content, so we have tobatch things in advance and it
always just really relatablethings that people can relate to
, and then it draws people inand then they have.
Then they can see the real s inour stories too you know, on
(48:35):
instagram and see how you know,just like we're just two moms
trying to like make a living anddo this thing of life and like
it's fun, I would agree, I think, even if people aren't moms
y'all's content.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
I mean a lot of the stuff that drew me in with you
guys.
One of the how I connected withy'all was I posted one of
y'all's videos about.
Speaker 3 (48:57):
It was my video.
Yeah, it was the one of us inthe car.
Yeah, where we, yeah, that'sthe one that, like for me, had
been the best.
But yeah, that's when you and Istarted.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Yeah, and then you responded to anyway.
Yeah, we just started talking,so yeah.
And I am not a mom and I lovey'all's content.
Anyway, yeah, we just startedtalking, so and I am not a mom
and I love y'all's content, sothank you, thanks for having me.
Yeah, everyone, thank you somuch for listening.
If you could just rate reviewthe podcast, of course I'll tag
Lauren and Steph when I postthis.
If you guys will give them afollow too and help support them
(49:26):
, do what they're doing, supportme, do what I'm doing.
We really appreciate it.
Hey everyone, welcome back to.
I Am Me.
Today I'm sitting down with twowonderful women who I'm talking
to for the first time today.
Actually, I met them throughInstagram and then we just
started looking at their content.
They looked at mine.
I was like hey, would you wantto be on my podcast?
So I'm sitting down with LaurenClayton and Stephanie Ritchie.
They are best friends whocreate humorous and relatable
(00:23):
and encouraging digital contentaround motherhood, friendship,
wellness and finding balance inthis crazy, messy journey we
call life.
I think, whether you're amother, a friend or just a girl
trying to figure it out, you'llget something out of today's
episode.
So, with all that said, how areyou doing today, ladies?
Good, great Thanks for having usFor sure for sure, yeah, I'm
(00:45):
super excited to have both ofyou.
So I don't know you.
So let's get a littleinformation about you.
One y'all are both married,correct?
Not their best friends?
Yeah, their best friends notmarried to each other.
I had to explain that to my mom.
I was like no, no, they're,they're friends, they're not
married to each other.
And then your kids.
(01:05):
How many kids do y'all eachhave?
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I have two.
One is 10.
He just turned 10 and I have aseven-year-old daughter.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
And my son just turned 15 yesterday.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Teenager, how's that going?
How's that going.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I mean, honestly, it's super, super hard.
This year has just been superhard for me just emotionally,
because he's my only and he's mybest buddy, so but he's awesome
, it's great.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I also want to know how you two met and how long
y'all have been friends.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
So we met in 2019, I think, through Bible study and
through our church, like a homelife group, kind of like at
somebody's house where you goand like have a meal and like
sit and chat.
So we met there and then likebecame Facebook friends and
Instagram friends and then, likewe kind of didn't see each
(02:02):
other for like a year because wegot out of life group and we
just life got busy.
We didn't see each other.
And then I saw her on Facebookone day talking about Young
Living Essential Oils and I inthat time of my life had been
going through a lot of healthissues and so I bought some
stuff from her.
And then I was like okay, likeso I bought some stuff from her.
(02:33):
And then I was like okay, likelet me be more curious about the
business side, and went to herhouse, asked a bunch of
questions, started selling withher and then, through our
business, running it together, Ilike we just became best
friends.
I don't know, that's all I canthink of to describe it.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I mean it's super cool because we it just was
organically made and I feel likeit's super different to be able
to find a best friend in yourlate 30s, early 40s, because we
had an established circle, butit's very refreshing for sure.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
So you both create a lot of content together, as well
as y'all create digital contentindividually.
The two of you y'all use socialmedia like in a positive light.
That's content's veryencouraging and relatable.
So what, I guess, prompted youto start creating this content?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
online.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Honestly, I feel like it was somewhat accidental.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
We love to have fun together and we had an idea.
It was, I remember the veryfirst one, honestly the first
you do that we made togetherthat went viral.
Oh, that kind of sparked ourinterest because it hit over
like 20 something million views.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
We started getting follows and comments on it.
We're like this could be athing, like people and we play
well off of each other.
And so after that they we'relike let's just do this to have
fun, never really putting anypressure on ourselves.
Granted, there can be some likeoh my gosh, now we have to feel
like we have to like post allthe time, become somewhat a job,
but it's been fun and we get somany compliments about us being
(04:04):
so many and it's like a laughof like okay, you guys haven't
posted Where's your best friend,Like if I'm out somewhere,
where's Lauren?
I'm like man, people do thinkthat we are like a test of the
hip, so it's been a fun journey.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
I agree.
Do y'all have sisters?
I do, I'm an old child.
There is essentially what youtwo are for each other, but I
think it's so special that youhave found, like you said, that
friendship in life, becausefriendship is so important, and
I think, especially you two,from what I can tell, because,
also, like social media, we youknow, we hear it's a highlight
(04:38):
reel and I know that y'all havelife outside of this, but from
what I can tell, y'all seem tohave a good balance of having
life outside of being a motherand being a wife.
How do you keep your ownidentity separate from those?
Because, obviously, being awife, being a mom, is part of
your journey in your life, but Ithink it's just so important
(05:00):
for you to also pursue your owndreams, your own passions, and
you two both seem to do that.
So how do y do y'all do thatLike?
Speaker 3 (05:07):
it's not just happened there.
At the beginning of us kind ofdoing our businesses together, I
I personally struggled quite abit with balancing life and work
, which this is work for me, youknow, being on social media and
talking about what I love withproducts and young living and
things, and I I would textStephanie, call Stephanie like
(05:30):
really kind of upset and crying.
Like you know, andrew, myhusband is starting to like feel
like I'm not around, like I'mon my phone a lot and she had to
say, like Lauren, you have tobe able to balance things, like
you have to give yourself likeouts of time.
So like, really for me now,when my kids get home in the
afternoon, like I don't reallyshare.
(05:52):
I might share a story here andthere on on Instagram, but
posting reels and thingsStephanie and I have kind of
down to a science now like wepost if we share together, we
share at the same time of thenight, like basically it's after
my kids go to bed, so like, andwe prep ahead of time, so like
I prep things while the kids aregone and so things are ready,
(06:14):
so that when I'm at a ball gamelike last night and I shared my
reel last night I was at theball game and it was ready like
I already had it prepared.
So it's more about like beingorganized, and Stephanie is like
the queen of organization, andso she's kept me more on test.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I also think too.
It's like in Laura I eventhough we're very similar, we're
also very different, which Ireally works well for our
friendship?
yeah, but for me, as far asseparating it, I also think it
has to do with, like, the timethat I was born.
I'm 42 and I grew up withoutmedia.
(06:52):
I didn't have a phone until Iwas a junior in high school and
I didn't have social media untilI don't even, I guess, when it
came in College.
And so I still have thatbalance because I know that I
lived without it and I know thefruit that it comes with being
(07:13):
able to disconnect and be onyour own, and also it's not
selfish to take care of yourself.
I'm a very I'm very good atself-care and I know that term
is thrown out there so looselybut I feel like it's very
important to fill our cup firstand then in order.
If I can fill my cup up first,I'm a very good friend, I'm a
good mom.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Not to say that it's always easy I don't ever want to
portray that it's easy, butsometimes it does come across as
that to others but I think itis important to be able to just
live life in a good balance andnot have your eggs in one little
basket, you know and as far as,like you saying, you all make
it seem like so you know, youall, your all's friendship is it
(07:53):
is really this positive, likeour friendship, like it's this
when we're texting like we, Ican maybe think of one argument,
maybe like one or two in ourlife, you know, I don't know,
just like a little bickering,you know, but we're on it.
We can be honest with each otherwithout the like oh, she's
going to be pissed at me fordays, you know.
(08:14):
Like she's not going to do thatto me, like if she's mad at me,
she'll be like I'm mad at youor I wish you would have done
that or whatever, and we move on.
But like it really is like this, like what you see on real, on
Instagram and the way we danceand act, like that is literally
how we are.
Yeah, maybe even more to theextreme.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Probably.
I think that's why peopleprobably gravitate towards the
both of you, because you know, Imean, that's what we do, right,
that's.
Nobody is on imperfect all thetime.
We're goofy and we're silly andhumans are so multi-faceted.
And then I think also it's likeLauren, you're in your 30s,
correct?
Steph, you're in your 40s, isthat right?
(08:53):
And it's like just becauseyou're aging doesn't mean the
fun and the lightness andexactly, and the, the little
girl essentially that you know,like that doesn't go away just
because you're a mom or you're awife or you're not 20 or 15
anymore.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
And I think y'all embrace that really well, we've
always talked about how we wishwe would have met each other a
lot sooner in life, but it iswhat it is.
We've met each other.
Now.
It's weird to have found mybest friend in my 30s, because I
really struggled with friendsthat I know Stephanie did too
all through our life and itbrought us to the point where,
like she gets me, I get her,like we finally find that person
(09:36):
that's like I can be my fullself, I don't have to pretend to
be anybody different and sheloves me for who I am.
And like.
That's's rare to find,especially, even, you know, a
lot of people find that in theirhigh school days and I, you
know, I just did it.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
I think that's.
I think that's an importantthing to talk about, though,
because friendships hard, and Iand I know there are people who
had their high school bestfriend and they're still friends
into their thirties, forties,fifties, whatever.
And that's awesome's awesome,but fringe like for me, some of
my closer friends have come inmy later 20s and I don't have a
(10:09):
ton of friends like I have a lotof acquaintances, but like
really forming and having aclose friendship, it is a huge
commitment.
It's a relationship like anyother that you have to invest in
.
So I think talking aboutfinding your friend, like your
close friends later in life,like that can still happen, like
(10:30):
you don't, just becausesometimes you'll see content, I
would say online, you'll seepeople who are like they've been
best friends since they werekids and they're still hanging
out to this day, and noteverybody has that.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
I had.
I had a reel that I sharedrecently in last couple months,
of Stephanie and me and it hitthe biggest views that I've ever
received, which was about 33million views on that reel and
and so many people commented tome and said, like how they've
they resonated with that becausethey've had their best friend
(11:04):
for years.
Like I've had women say, likewe've been best friends since we
were seven.
I'm like like that's amazing,like I do wish that we would
have met, but I also wonder,like I was a very different
person back then than I am nowand I'm not sure Stephanie and
Lauren would have maybe been asgood of friends back then.
Because I feel like ourexperiences kind of change us as
(11:25):
people and because of the way Iexperienced things, like I
became a person who, like Idon't want to take crap anymore
Cause I did that all through theyears Like a lot of crap.
Are you a people pleaser?
Do a people pleaser Friendships?
I used to be yeah, andStephanie and I are pretty tough
women.
Now, like we both like don't,don't take crap.
(11:48):
Like we're not bitches butwe're like very.
Like we're sweet, but likedon't piss us off because, like
I will stand up for myself andso will she.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Like if somebody messes with us in public, it's
going down, like it just isn'tgonna, it's not enough and I
think it's also just we aretactful and we we are competent
and we are strong personality ina good way, like, like Lauren
said, and I do believe that whatwe have gone through in our
(12:16):
younger years really made us whowe are and got in the time that
we were supposed to be friends.
At this moment and I mean, I ama different person than what I
was and I feel like a lot ofpeople.
Anyway, I feel like everybodychanges as a person as you grow.
You hope so.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Yes, I was going to ask you how it's easier to be
confident when you have someonein your corner.
So how has your friendshiphelped boost your confidence and
help you want to stand up foryourself, because it's harder
when, like, that's just you andyou're questioning stuff.
And then when you kind of startseeing someone's, like hey, she
really sticks up for herself,she owns her power, I can do
(12:56):
that too.
How has that like helped?
Y'all's friendship helpedincrease your confidence in your
own stuff, in your own morals,in your own beliefs?
Well, you have somebody to goto.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
I mean, just like you said, you have somebody to go
to, you have somebody.
We have a lot of the samebeliefs.
We somewhat we don't have thesame lifestyle, but we believe
in a lot of the same things andwe know that that person, like
Lauren, is always going to bethere if I need to talk to her,
and the other way around.
And I do believe that you knowwe bring out the best in each
(13:26):
other.
If we're ever down or whatever,you really encourage the other
person.
Like you are worthy and likethis is something that, like you
, really need to pay attentionto.
Like Lauren and I've hadconversations like this before
I'm like, okay, friend, why areyou being so hard on yourselves?
Don't, don't do that.
Say that like you and I thinkit helps.
(13:48):
It helps both of ourpersonalities.
It helps, um, just us continueto grow in our faith and as
people and as wives and, as youknow, everything else, I agree.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
I feel like she's probably boasting my confidence
more than the other way around.
Stephanie is a very confidentperson.
Even the day I met her she wasvery confident.
But I definitely have grown inmy confidence to be able to put
myself on social media and I cansay Stephanie was a big part of
that because she encouraged meand she told me.
She literally was like you areamazing at your job, you're
(14:21):
amazing at this business.
Like cause I really doubtedmyself at the beginning and to
say, okay, we're going to dothis Instagram thing together
and we're going to like growtogether.
And I really really struggledwith it along the way because I
don't feel, like what do I haveto offer?
Like, what am I going to offeranybody on this platform?
(14:41):
But she is like my person.
That's like, dude, you're doingit, you're doing a great job
like.
She's always encouraged me andI've never really had that like
I have I'm gonna cry.
I've never had that personthat's like said, like you're
worthy the way you are, youdon't have to be anybody else,
because I have struggled withfriendships all through my life
(15:02):
and I'm not getting into allthat on this podcast, but it is
true and I feel like God doesput people in your life at
certain times in your life for areason, and when I was going
through all my health stuff likeit was right after I got
through it all, I wish Stephaniehad been there through when I
was going through it, but I'mgrateful that she was put in my
(15:22):
life in the timeline that shewas because I needed to focus on
something else besides myhealth and she helped get me
through that.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
What's funny is on.
So my last episode was with twowomen who they're actors, but
they created a business togetherand are really close friends.
That was the first time I thinkI had two people on and y'all
are following it up with anothertwo people, which is fun, but
they were talking about howthey're like you want to build a
backbone.
You want to learn to like standin your power and not give a
(15:52):
crap what people say they'relike.
Start consistently postingstuff on social media because,
for even though you'll havepositive people who support you,
who relate to you, there'salways going to be people who
are just negative and have postsomething mean we've had that.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
That's when you know you've arrived in instagram.
When you get that, I wasstephanie can tell you her story
.
But I posted a reel about mykids winning a fish at the
carnival and I got bashedbecause of the what I like the
container that I put this fishin, which was it was fish bowl,
like it was legit.
And I got put on a fish haterFacebook group somehow because
(16:35):
all of a sudden my Instagramstarts blowing up with all these
comments from all these fishpeople.
I'm like how am I being foundon from all these fish like fish
lovers?
And somebody finally told meyou were posted on fish hater
facebook group.
I was like mortified.
I took it down because I waslike getting told that I was a
bad mom and like all thesethings and you grow as a person.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
For sure you have to have tough skin, especially if
you're gonna put yourself outthere on social and you just
have to know that those commentsdon't mean anything.
Actually, I'd rather peoplestart arguing in in the comment
because that's going to give meengagement.
My, the one that I had the mosthate on was my.
It hit 56 million and it wasbasically me at the pantry with
(17:21):
the audio and just sayingsomething like healthy me wanted
a snack at the grocery store,but fat me didn't, and so the
word fat was a trigger not tosay that I was calling anybody
fat, but it was like my innerchild just saying you know,
we've all been there.
It's like you wish you had chipsat home but you didn't buy them
or whatever, and so people werebashing me, basically telling
(17:43):
me that I'm the reason whypeople had to eat.
You're what's wrong with yeah,and I'm like man.
And so it went back and forth,back and forth, and so I would
reply to a couple.
I'm like thank you so much forthe engagement.
I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
I actually saw that real.
That one, I think, was before Isaw that real, before I
followed you guys, oh really,and I thought it was hilarious.
Yeah, I was fat.
Okay, I love people who are likeI'm fat and they're like I
didn't say I wasn't pretty, likeyou're the one who just added
like a negative connotation tothe word cat and I was gonna
(18:20):
tell you too when I was a kid Iwas at a carnival and found out
like all I had to do was getlike a ping pong ball in the
little like yeah that's what wedid.
Yeah, the million fish bowls toget a fish and my mom had like
turned us loose at this carnival.
I came back with like five fishoh my god she was.
She was like no, no, it's like,bro, I'm getting so many pets
(18:42):
right now like, and I like strutup with my like bags of
goldfish, and my mom was like,absolutely not take this back,
like I don't know where theycame from, but no, that was
funny that I feel like everybody, every mom.
I was the kid in the story.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
But like nobody wants that many fish and like I
didn't even want the fish in thefirst place, I really blame my
husband more than anybodybecause he like encouraged it so
much, but that fish did die.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
I will not well, most of them are sick, mine, I got
to keep one.
I got to keep one.
I'm sorry, but if you put ahundred fish in individual,
right they're not.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
You still gave them a better life than living in that
cooler full of fish.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
You're bashing her for getting a fish and making it
live in a better life thanliving in that cooler full of
fish.
You're bashing her for gettinga fish and making it live in a
better life, but these thingswere in plastic bags people will
do anything on it, say anythingon instagram and go back and
forth my mom.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
She was cracking up.
I know we're like completelyoff topic, but my mom she was
cracking up too.
She's like you got this freefish.
We laugh about it now, but thenwe had to go and spend like 80
bucks at the pet store.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
Yes, that's exactly what we did and we still have.
We went through eight fishbefore we finally kept one alive
.
You're gonna.
So after that fish died, myhusband went out and bought,
like all these different otherfish, and ended up now we have a
beta, beta fish whatever theirthings are called.
And we've had that thing forlike nine or ten months and
(20:03):
today he's going back to thestore and getting another fish
tank for my daughter's war out.
This is not I and I havenothing to do with it.
I said I will not clean it.
I'm not, I'm not.
I have two dogs.
I'm not taking care of fish.
So he knows he doesn't even askme.
I love my dogs, my dog.
I love my dog more than most ofthe people that live here
that's fair enough so that'sfair I was gonna.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
So that's actually a good segue because, like fish
and pets and all the stuffaround being a mom, there's
eight million billion opinionson motherhood and how to do it
right and people who don't havekids and people who do have kids
, and whether you're buyinghealthy snacks or if you want
(20:45):
some chips in your pantry,whatever.
How do y'all deal with that?
Like, I mean, there's no manualon how to be a mother but, like
you have your gut instincts.
How do you deal with just allthe because now we live in this
information?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
age too where everybody?
it's different, especially withfrom when and I'm sure Lauren
can say this when my son wasborn 15 years ago, to now.
There's so much moreinformation.
I'm, and everyone's, differentand I feel like never give any
like unsolicited advice to a, asoon-to-be mom or soon-to-be
(21:23):
parent, because they need toexperience their own situations
themselves.
You know, when I was pregnant,we I had so many opinions coming
at me.
It honestly never affected me.
I'm very firm and like what mybeliefs are and I it.
It did get to me at some point,but when I was pregnant, when
you can have another one likewhoa now I still have this one
(21:46):
in my belly and you would getcomments about why do you only
have one kid?
Why does it matter?
Is it affecting you any?
No, it's just, it is what it is.
And so like people will alwaysthrow their opinions because and
here's the thing, and I get itbecause they think that their
way is the only way, or theywere taught in a certain way and
it might've worked for them andit might.
It's not always in a hatefulway, but I will say it is very
(22:09):
overwhelming for a mom to mom.
I think that you know, lauren,and I talk about.
You know, it's hard for me inthe teenage years now, but I
think it's just more so beingthere for that person and giving
ideas in a way that like hey,have you tried this instead of
you need to do this?
You know what I mean.
Yeah, there's always those kindof comments and I could go off
(22:32):
on a topic, but I don't evenwant to put it on here.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
I also really try on social media to not only show
the good moments, because andI've been told like, thank you
for sharing the bad sometimesbecause, like I see so many
people on Instagram that justshare the perfect thing and say
the perfect thing and make itseem like they're the perfect
mom and do the perfect, make theperfect move all the time, and
I'm like that is not reality andyou're making a lot of people
feel bad, like I'm just beinghonest, like there's no way that
(23:08):
you're that calm and collectedand say the most perfect things
to your kid all the time.
We're not perfect.
We're so imperfect it's noteven funny.
So I'm not going to sit thereand show my kid like throwing a
fit on the floor and me likeyelling at them, but I will say
like dude, it's been a hard day,like I'm not gonna lie, my
daughter was acting a fool, likewhatever, like I'm very honest
(23:30):
on social media because I don'twant my followers or anybody
that sees my content to be likeoh, you're like that perfect.
I don't want to follow youbecause you, I can't relate to
you.
This is all about beingrelatable and no one's perfect.
No one has it all together.
I'm a very impatient mom andthat is my fault, like my.
My downfall, I guess, is I don'thave a lot of patience and so I
(23:54):
get especially with having thetwo that are so close in age
that fight a lot.
I think that's what drives meup a wall the most is the
fighting, and so I lose my mindsometimes, you know, and so
Stephanie is my outlet because Isometimes don't know what else
to do.
But as far as like everydaymommy and like my husband, I are
(24:16):
a great team.
I literally, literally couldnot do this life of parenting
without him.
Like he takes on a lot, heworks from home and helps take
kids to school, like today heknew I had this, so he took them
to school, and so I I'm verygrateful and thankful for having
a partner that when he can, isthere and will step in.
(24:40):
When I can't, because it'sreally hard to do, I feel for
the moms that are single momsand have no body, because
they're trying to work and takecare of a household and take
care of kids and like those aresuperheroes, true superheroes
(25:07):
yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
So I look I nannied full-time.
I am not claiming to be aparent at all.
I always preface that I but Ilove kids.
Kids are hard and you, theyhave great days, but I think
it's like people don't a lot oftimes don't think of kids as
like they're just like us.
They, they are people too.
They have the range of emotionsthey have bad days, they have
(25:28):
that.
You know, like I don't wake upevery day happy and so you can,
like I could show up, being likeit's going to be a great day,
and then he is teething, or hewas you, you know, and and it
was just like we gave in and wewatched Elmo because I, that was
the only thing that calmed him.
(25:49):
And you know, I think it's justinsane that people just don't
think of that.
And your kids are just notlittle perfect people, no matter
how hard you try they're littlepeople with their own
personalities, their ownemotions, all that stuff that
you're trying to balance, andyou have all that stuff going on
inside of you too Well, so Ithink it's very interesting.
(26:12):
Just, I don't like honestly.
I'm like can we all just likegive each other a break and
recognize?
Recognize, like for the mostpart, we're just trying to do
the best we can with the toolsthat we have and the kids that
are in school.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
Now, like I sub at my kids school and I see how much
they do, even the littlekindergartners like they are
working the whole time, likethey don't get.
They get a 30 minute recess andthat's it.
Everything is like paper Dothis, do that, do that, do that,
and then when they get home,then I used to have a lot of.
(26:48):
I didn't appreciate what all mykids did at school before I
subbed, because they would gethome from school and I'd be like
, ok, now you need to like eat asnack, and then you've got to
do your homework, and then youneed to do this chore, and then
you've got practice tonight andmy daughter would just melt,
like literally melt, and I'mlike what is your deal?
And now, after subbing, Irealize how much they do, and so
(27:09):
, like this, this whole weekwe've had 7 30 PM game.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
My kids play baseball and softball and so we haven't
even been getting in them in thebed until 10 o'clock at night.
So I did something that I'venever done today and I let my
kids sleep in and they were lateto school because I'm like my
daughter is melting, like lastnight I was watching, we were
watching my son play baseballand she's laying in her chair
(27:35):
falling asleep and I feel bad,but like I want to watch him
play and like I want to be thereto support him, and it's just
hard when you've got both sides.
She's only seven, so I let hersleep in and she was 30 minutes
late to school and I'm like, isit going to hurt her?
Like I would rather her be in agood mood.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
I took Bo out of school early yesterday and I
think sometimes we just get sowrapped up in schedule schedule,
schedule time, time that theyget overstimulated.
They need rest just as much aswe do.
And when they areoverstimulated, that's when you
know arguments happen, orthey're frustrated and they
don't know how to communicatethe way that we know how to
communicate, and then that'swhen all this melts.
but like warren said like Ithink that's awesome that you
(28:19):
let them sleep in.
Yeah, it's not gonna ruin theirlife if you take them out of
school today, if you, whatever,and those are going to be the
memory that you're going to have.
Remember when you let me sleepin like it's not.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Uh, they're in middle school not in first, yeah, not
in first grade.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Well, it's also, it's also just recognizing that.
You know, say you work all dayand then you had to go to an
event or do something thatevening, which you do.
Do that because you're mom, soyou do work all day, and then
you take care of your kids andyou go to baseball games and all
that.
It's like that's taking a tollon you.
You're getting tired.
And then they've had just aslong of a day Maybe different,
(29:00):
but just as long of a day.
They've been up since 6, 7,whatever time they get up for
school in the morning had a fullday of school and then they
haven't stopped all day.
No, and I just think a lot oftimes we just don't realize that
we're just like, why are younot on?
Why are you not a happy kid?
(29:21):
You know, I get so annoyed whenI work with some older people.
I, because I have a part-timejob also and the I'm 28 and
they'll they'll say, oh, you'reso young, why are you tired
and'm like?
Because I'm a human.
I, yeah, I have human all daylong Like I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
I have not stopped this week, like you know I,
though, like if you, if you'veever traveled out of the country
, and I always use this as anexample.
So, spain, I went to Spain, andI don't want to say lived there
, but I was there for threeweeks after my senior year,
graduation.
I spent that time with mygrandfather who lived over there
, and the way of life there iscompletely different than the
(30:01):
way of life here.
They put an emphasis on family,not to say that we don't, but
they put an emphasis on rest andfamily, exercise, sunlight and
not strict schedules.
They close down the day.
All the places close down forabout two hours.
Schools get let out, businessesget let out, they go home and
spend time with their family,and then they resume their
(30:23):
activities.
And it shows, and everybody,I'm like, are you all really
this happy Like?
Is everybody really this happyLike?
We're all so stressed over herein the United States.
I love my country, but I'm justsaying like we're always
impatient.
Now, now, now, quick, quick,quick.
And it makes us like over,overstimulated, so much where
we're just like, oh my gosh, Ijust and we don't rest enough.
(30:46):
Think of how many times and I'mgoing on a rant how like, go
for it, my husband works 48 to50 hours a week to support our
family, and that's hard, andthen just to retire at the age
of 60 or 70, like I don't know,and finally rest, finally rest.
Like it's crazy to me.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
No, I completely, 100% agree with you, and I think
it's mind blowing to me howmany times I will have an
afternoon that's available and Ican feel like I've been up
since 5 am and my body is sotired and I feel so guilty with
the notion of me going to laydown and take a one hour, two
(31:31):
hour nap.
I'm like, I'm like'm like, no,just pound some more coffee or
grab an energy drink, and I'mlike dude your heart.
But it's like.
It's insane to me that there'sjust this guilt that if we're
not always going and we're, oryou get to the end of your day
and it's, you know, seven, eighto'clock and you just want to
(31:51):
sit down and relax, sometimesthere's even guilt with that.
Well, I didn't get this donetoday.
Do that either.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
That's, yeah, that's the both of us.
If we don't have a sport in theevening, we're all laying down
by 8, 8.30.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
But like that's, good .
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Yeah, it's not always possible.
And I feel for the people thatdo have to work like outside the
home and eight to five job andthen come home to kids and
homework and dinner and all thatand then, like, get their
household done.
I'm like how did.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
how did we do it, though, because we used to do it
, I know.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
I don't know.
I can't remember, like, beforeI finally got to quit because I
used to do so Stephanie and Iboth did have full time jobs at
one point.
Because I used to do so,stephanie and I both did have
full-time jobs at one point Iused to do accounting for a
living.
I was a tax accountant forseveral years before my kids got
kind of more in the picture.
My youngest was born and that'swhen I finally quit.
But I had two kids at one pointand trying to work full-time
(32:50):
and I'm like how do I do this?
Like it was hard, but I thinkit's even harder as they get
older because they're doing morethings.
They're in after schoolactivities and sports and that
kind of stuff and that hangs upa lot of your evenings too.
We're very sport familyStephanie and I are, so we're
kind of on the go with sports alot.
But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Yeah, I not not a mom , but I grew up playing sports,
so it was like my evenings andweekends were packed with soccer
.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
Yeah, we literally leave tomorrow, we get to rest
today.
We've had four games this week.
We get to rest today and thenwe leave out of town tomorrow
for two nights for a tournamentbaseball tournament.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Yep, we had that, mine was soccer, but same thing
all weekend would be goneplaying multiple games I mean
it's fun and like it's memoriesthat I'll have forever.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
I know I'll remember all this, but by yesterday I
looked like I felt like I wasrough yesterday.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Well, I showered for this.
So no, I appreciate it.
I appreciate it.
I mean, you didn't have to.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
We can't smell you or anything, we're all in our own
spaces no but my hair, my hairlooked like I'd been in the rain
for 18 hours Stepping back frombeing a mom, but just being a
woman.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Comparison.
I want to come back to that.
How do y'all deal with?
Because?
on top of like being a mom.
There's so much just being agirl.
It's just hard, and how we takecare of ourselves, how we look,
you know.
And then y'all are in your 30sand 40s and I'm not saying
you're old, I'm about to be 30,so, and then, like a year, so no
(34:26):
shade or tea.
I recognize that I'm gettingolder.
I am just saying with that, I'mlike okay, you were aging, our
skin is not looking like it didat 18, you know.
So how do you deal with thattoo?
Just aging and the comparisonof that especially, I think what
you touched on, steph, in ourcountry it's different.
(34:47):
how, like we're not expected toage in America as women, my
issue.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
I don't necessarily have comparison to other women
right now, but I have in thepast and again I think it shifts
as you get older.
You just get more comfortablein your skin.
What I'm having a hard timeright now is aging in general,
just my skin changing, my bodychanging, just aging in general.
That is a fear of mine which Iknow that I don't want.
(35:14):
The other like.
I would rather be here and age,but that is probably the
hardest thing.
Ever since I started gettinginto my 40s.
This has probably been thehardest year for me.
I just am realizing.
I look back at pictures like,oh my gosh, and I know like I'm
confident with myself, I feellike I'm a pretty person, but I
also feel like I mourn theperson that I looked like when I
(35:37):
was in my twenties.
My skin was tighter, I lookedyounger and I feel like there is
a big pressure now.
Now with everybody you know andI go get facials, I get that
stuff done, but there's apressure with women to always
look 20.
Like always look 20 to have acertain body type, but nothing
(36:01):
is ever perfect.
I want to read something to youthat I sent to Lauren yesterday
, and this was actually inrelation to aging, and it says
imagine being in your 80s andyou catch yourself thinking
about your life, how you nevertook that trip to go swimming in
the ocean on a beautiful summerday because you didn't like the
way you looked in your swimsuit, realizing you never laughed
(36:22):
until you couldn't breathebecause your teeth weren't
straight enough.
And it basically went on and onand on talking about the things
that we don't do because of ourimage, because of the things
that we don't want to focus on,and I feel like that is just
taking so much joy and time awayfrom our current moment because
we're so worried about certainthings as women, and I fall in
that trap.
I fall in like, oh bad, yeah, Idon't want to be seen.
(36:43):
Or in my face, I don't want tobe seen, whatever, I don't know.
I feel like it's hard, andespecially now, young girls and
I don't have a girl, but Laurenand I talk because she does, I
have a girl.
Yeah, it is scary right nowwith the way social media is,
because there's access toinformation, there's access to
image, and now every young girl,even boy, they have peers and
(37:07):
they want whatever like the nextshiny thing is.
And we fall into that trap andI thought to them like man, if I
didn't have social media?
What if we did it?
What if we didn't have socialmedia?
It would be like I grew up andeverybody would be a little bit
happier because you're notpaying attention to the person
on the other side of the screen,on everything that they have,
that you don't you know Well, Ialmost canceled this podcast
(37:29):
because of this cold sore.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
So like I get it, like we get into our image now I
will say I think I'm okay in myaging process right now because
I'm not really aging that muchyet but I'm only in my mid-30s.
I know it's coming like I movea little slower up the stairs
maybe, but like with my jointsand stuff, but like that's in my
back might go out every once ina while, but as far as like my
(37:53):
skin and stuff, honestly I'mjust gonna say this a lot of it
has to do with Young Livingproducts for me.
I do and I'm just throwing thatout there not as an
advertisement but as a like forreal like it is reverse aging me
, like I feel like I look betterin my 30s than I did in my 20s,
especially on my face and myskin, with using better products
(38:14):
.
So that is, that is the agingside of it for me.
But I do have a lot of momentswhere I feel insecure with my
body, just like you know things.
You know fat hanging in placesthat I wish wasn't kind of thing
.
And I'm trying and I do the bestthat I can for the lifestyle
that I have.
I mean, it's hard to do.
(38:34):
You can't do everything.
It's hard to I struggle to tryto fit everything in a day and
like, even with my kids beinggone for six hours, you think,
gosh, you should have every,your house should be perfect.
No, like it is like I do have ajob, I do the young, I do this
business and I do sub-sum andthen, like you try, it takes
time to like do the dishes anddo the laundry and like, then
(38:57):
you work and you do other thingsand it's like, well, that's
three o'clock, like the kids aregoing to be home in 30 minutes,
you know.
So it's like I I try toprioritize working out and
that's something that Stephanieand I talked a lot about,
because she does do a very goodjob of prioritizing exercise and
I have been trying to do betterand and eating better and
(39:17):
things like that.
But it does catch up to you, Iwill say, with aging, like you
can't eat the same without itaffecting your body.
My goodness, you eat a littlefrench fry and suddenly there's
some more love handles all of asudden.
So yeah, I agree with you.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
I've become like, so like I I'm aware that, like my
skin, especially in my forehead,and like in between here I'm
like that's not looking the samewhich I did when I was turned
26 I started getting I am on myskincare routine like I don't
skip mornings and I don't skipevenings, like, and I'm all
about sunscreen, but it's justcrazy, like how it changes.
(39:57):
One thing you mentioned, steph,was your.
You have a son, but I thinkeven you're, with social media
and all that, you're seeingteenage boys and younger boys.
They care a lot more aboutappearance, in my, my opinion,
than they used to.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
I didn't know that I actually had a teenage daughter
Like, like, why are you focusingso much on your hair?
But it is a thing and hedoesn't have.
He has Snapchat, but thatthat's it, and it's highly
monitored.
But other than that, he doesn'thave Facebook, he doesn't have
Instagram, he doesn't haveTikTok, nothing.
(40:38):
But it is in person that he isseeing.
I said, honey, like you'regonna start looking like
everybody else with the, andit's not to where his hair is,
where he wants it.
Now he's currently in a growout phase, but he uses my hair
diffuser in the morning, he putsa gel in it and he's caught.
Well, imagine if he had socialmedia this hair is a thing, and
it's not just him, it'sliterally a yes.
I don't understand.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
I'm terrified.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
I'm terrified to have I mean, it's not, it's his hair
.
He can wear the weight, yeah,and we get it cut the way he
wants and like I can't controlthat, even though it's not my
favorite thing, he looks betterwhen it's like clean cut on the
sides.
Speaker 1 (41:19):
I'm like, if you want to look like you got a toupee
on your head, go for it.
Yeah, I just I agree, though Ithink like that's something.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
I've noticed a lot that like boys they do all the
boys like, especially like inbaseball and stuff.
I've noticed like the baseballteams, like all the kids have
these.
Well, and in Lucas's age thething is like um mullets yeah
like mullets and perms, permsand a mullet yeah, kids with
perms in the back in theirmullet.
(41:44):
I'm like you realize you'regonna grow up one day and think
you look stupid right.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Also what we did, though, when we were younger.
What was our thing, I don'tknow.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
In high school, we had the boys had frosted tips
like highlight whenever.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
I was growing up.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
I mean we all did it.
We all had phases where wewanted to fit in and we bought
the shoes or the shirts orwhatever.
So we can't like say, like myright now even my third grader,
he wants Jordans because kids atschool wear them you know, yeah
.
I'm buying.
I mean, I didn't buy them.
My mother-in-law did like $200pair of shoes for a third grader
(42:20):
right and you're like, onlywear these for special occasions
seriously, yeah, seriously.
But my daughter is the one whoI'm terrified.
I told Stephanie I'm likeyou're gonna have to help me
raise her, like in all honesty,because I'm already struggling
with her big time, with emotionsand her clothes, and she's
(42:40):
seven, oh god she's not seven,she's 18.
She's 17.
Yeah, she's definitely older,and that's the thing is.
She's been on social media withme since she was three, because
I've been doing this since shewas that old, and so she will a
lot of times be on there with meand I not that she's like
sitting there scrolling, she'sjust on the videos and stuff
sometimes.
(43:01):
But I try not to be super intomy own appearance.
Like you know, I have messyhair days and things like that,
and I'll go to ball gameslooking like crap and she's like
you're going out looking likethat and I'm like, yes, ma'am, I
am like she just cares too muchand she'll like go back and
change her clothes after Ialready picked out her clothes
well, I think also, even if shedidn't have any idea social
(43:24):
media, like what social mediawas or anything, you still are
going to school with kids whoare you know, there's a lot of
parents have different rules andrestrictions on that.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Some Some kids are on social media, have their own
social media.
Speaker 3 (43:37):
Oh, you would be blown away to see the number of
kids and like the younger ageshaving cell phones and stuff.
Like there are some first andsecond graders that have cell
phones.
I'm like you have to know, youdon't even know.
Like you know how to work it.
Yes, but like you like actuallyit's funny.
You said that because yesterdaymy daughter was watching
something on TV and it saidsomething about can you imagine
not having social media?
And she goes oh, that would beterrible.
(43:58):
And I'm like I said, do youeven know what social media is?
And she goes, yeah, I wouldn'tbe able to watch videos.
I was like, ok.
So she thinks, like YouTube,like that's what she thinks.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Oh man, ok, I want to close this out with you guys.
I, okay, I want to close thisout with you guys.
I'm curious what advice wouldyou give to your younger self
Like, what piece of advice wouldyou give?
Speaker 2 (44:17):
To not worry so much about the future and to not
worry so much about the past andjust focus on the present
moment, because, in the grandscheme of things, life is short
and just to really really enjoylife, like truly enjoy life.
I feel like that's really what Icontinually tell myself that
all the time that I've gonethrough so much and I know
(44:40):
Lauren's gone through so much,gone through so many things
where I've lost friends, where Ihave lost family members by
death, where I just grew up in acrazy household when I was
younger and a lot of the timeswe focus so much on what is
going on in the past or thepresent to try to control and
change our future, our direction, that we forget and we worry so
(45:01):
much that we forget about whatwe're actually experiencing life
right this minute.
I'm such a believer and adreamer and a doer and I am such
a person who I love life somuch, like love life so much
that I just want to experienceit all all the time and just be
super happy all the time which,again, is not always going to
(45:24):
happen.
We're going to have angrymoments, but just to not worry
so much, it's not, it's notworth it.
Speaker 3 (45:31):
That was exactly what I was going to say.
I was actually worried.
It's not, it's not worth it.
That was exactly what I wasgonna say.
I was actually worry.
I I'm a big worrier and Icouldn't tell you how many times
my dad would like quotescripture to me when I was
younger because I would get soworried about my grade and like
school and just like a lot ofthings mainly school and grades
(45:51):
and stuff when I was younger.
So it might to tell my youngerself not to worry so much, that
life is going to be great andthat you know, working hard pays
off and things like that.
But like not to let it get tome because I do feel like
worrying and anxiety has been abig reason why I've had health
issues and I maybe could haveavoided some of those things if
(46:12):
I hadn't worried so much aboutwhat, about what's going on,
because I still worry.
I'm a mom and a wife and I stillhave a lot of doubts and
concerns about the way you knowlife is going or what you know.
What if this happens, or whatif that happens?
And so I just, if I can,minimalize the amount of worry
(46:33):
and just be enjoying lifebecause life is really short and
I don't want to take, I don'twant to wish it all away by just
worrying so much and justwanting to get through something
and also travel more.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
Sometimes we get so much like in our bubble that we
just don't want to explore.
And I'm huge into traveling anda lot of people you know, like
I've had people say well, howcan you afford travel?
Like I don't have money?
I'm like, well, at the time,like years ago, we didn't have
money either and we still madeit work.
We always plan, we always aresaving for a year in advance to
(47:07):
go on a trip and to take thetrip and to experience.
I feel like experiences are soimportant, just like what Lauren
said about her kids thismorning.
She let them that's anexperience.
That is doing, I feel likeexperiences Do?
I love material things 100%.
There's a good balance of thatbut I also love experiences so
much more.
There's so many more memoriesthat you can create and have and
(47:29):
just continuing to creatememories and I feel like
experiences are going to alwayswin.
Your heart's just going to behappy.
We crave human interaction, wecrave having fun, we crave
adventure at some sort of aspect, and I think it's so super
important to be able to takeadvantage of that instead of
just being in our own bubble.
Take challenges, do somethingthat's scary you know what I
mean.
Like, don't just sit and waitand wish at things.
(47:53):
Do the thing and say yes toyourself and take a chance on
yourself.
Speaker 1 (47:56):
I always.
I love when people give likethese little rants of advice
because I just am like, there'sthe social media tag.
Well, I love talking to both ofyou so much.
Is there anything y'all want tosay in closing?
Anything exciting you havecoming up, anything people can
watch out for on y'all's socialsyou never know what you're
gonna see.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
Or right here we will go a couple weeks sometimes
without content, so we have tobatch things in advance and it
always just really relatablethings that people can relate to
, and then it draws people inand then they have.
Then they can see the real s inour stories too you know, on
(48:35):
instagram and see how you know,just like we're just two moms
trying to like make a living anddo this thing of life and like
it's fun, I would agree, I think, even if people aren't moms
y'all's content.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
I mean a lot of the stuff that drew me in with you
guys.
One of the how I connected withy'all was I posted one of
y'all's videos about.
Speaker 3 (48:57):
It was my video.
Yeah, it was the one of us inthe car.
Yeah, where we, yeah, that'sthe one that, like for me, had
been the best.
But yeah, that's when you and Istarted.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Yeah, and then you responded to anyway.
Yeah, we just started talking,so yeah.
And I am not a mom and I lovey'all's content.
Anyway, yeah, we just startedtalking, so and I am not a mom
and I love y'all's content, sothank you, thanks for having me.
Yeah, everyone, thank you somuch for listening.
If you could just rate reviewthe podcast, of course I'll tag
Lauren and Steph when I postthis.
If you guys will give them afollow too and help support them
(49:26):
, do what they're doing, supportme, do what I'm doing.
We really appreciate it.
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