June 3, 2025 • 22 mins
Pads, PMS & Period Panic: A Teen Survival Guide (With Mom)
Episode Summary:
Periods are natural—but the awkwardness, confusion, and panic that come with them? Totally avoidable. In this no-shame, no-secrets episode of I Get It From My Mom, Elissa and her daughters Ava (19) and Maggie (16) get real about all things menstruation.
From early signs of puberty to that first OMG moment, to cramps, culture, and the best products out there—this is the real talk every tween, teen, and parent needs to hear. The trio shares personal stories (yes, including leaks), tips for managing symptoms, and how to talk to boys, dads, and even your doctor without feeling weird.
Whether you're prepping your child, surviving your own cycle, or still hiding your tampon up your sleeve—this episode’s for you.
Topics include:
- First periods and what to expect
- Puberty signs parents shouldn’t ignore
- Period products (pads, tampons, cups, etc.)
- How PMS really feels—and how to handle it
- Cultural traditions & period taboos
- What we wish schools taught about menstruation
🩸 It’s time to ditch the shame and start the conversation.
Follow us:
Instagram: @i.get.it.from.mymom
Threads: @elissa_igetitfrommymom
TikTok: @elissa_igetitfrommymom and @avamorgan.klein
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
welcome back to, I Get It fromMy mom, where we tackle all the
(00:03):
conversations parents andchildren should be having, but
often don't.
I'm Elissa, a mom of two amazingdaughters, and today we're
diving into a topic thatdeserves way more honesty and
way less embarrassment (00:14):
periods.
I am Maggie.
I'm 16 and I think that periodshouldn't be a topic of
weirdness anymore.
I mean, almost half the worldhas them.
So why are we acting like it'ssome big secret?
And I'm Ava, I'm 19.
And honestly, if you've ever hada period, will have one or have
to parent someone through one.
You need this episode.
(00:36):
Because pretending it's a bigsecret helps no one.
And trust me, college is wayeasier when you're not hiding.
Tampons up your sleeve on theway to the bathroom.
Exactly.
Today we're talking abouteverything first, periods,
symptoms, awkward moments, thecost, the politics, the science
behind it, all of it.
So whether you're on cycle dayone, thinking about when it
(00:57):
might happen, or just trying tosupport someone else, you're in
the right place.
And this is your officialinvitation.
Ditch the shame.
Grab a heating pad if you needit, and join the conversation
because honestly, I wish I heardan episode like this before.
I got my first period.
Let's get into it.
(01:24):
Okay, let's back up before thefirst pad, before the cramps,
and let's discuss what a periodeven is because commercials
showing blue, liquid beingpoured into what looks like
diapers or women riding horsesand white pants don't really
explain much, right?
So science moment, woo.
A period is part of themenstrual cycle, which prepares
(01:45):
the body for pregnancy eachmonth.
When a pregnancy doesn't happen,ladies does not happen.
It's the shedding of the uterinelining.
So your body builds up this nicecushioning lion leaning in case
an egg gets fertilized.
But since it doesn't, your bodysays, well, we don't need this
anymore.
And out it goes.
But puberty actually starts muchearlier than when periods begin.
(02:07):
Do you remember those earlysigns that you noticed that
parents and kids should watchfor?
Yeah.
I remember being confused aboutthe changes happening and
sometimes even frustrated waybefore my first period came.
Yep.
Breast buds, I think they'recalled are usually the first
sign.
Girls around nine or 10 maystart to get kind of puffier
nipple areas, which are thebeginning of puberty.
(02:28):
Depending on body shape, itcould be two to three years to
more years before a periodstarts.
Yeah, that's kind of like thatawkward age where you're wearing
like the camisole training brabras, basically tank tops
because it was kind ofnoticeable in like light
colored, thin shirts And bodyhair starts growing in new
places.
I noticed hair in all places ofmy body more than a year before
(02:49):
my period even started.
If there's also a growth spurtthat usually happens, girls
often grow taller at a fasterrate ahead of their period,
especially faster than boys.
Yep.
Although parents don't fret toomuch about this, I was actually
very worried that you girlswould be super short forever
since you didn't necessarilyshoot up before your periods and
(03:09):
by the time your periods came.
I was a little concerned youweren't really averages height
even for our family, but youboth grew like two to three
inches for a year or twoafterwards, so at least you're
now very good heights.
And so don't be too concernedabout what height your child is
as soon as that period comes,there's time.
And don't forget about bodyorder, when people suddenly had
(03:31):
to start wearing deodorant whenthey never needed it before.
Yep.
Parents, these early signs areyour cue to start conversations
about periods.
Even if they seem years away,the research shows that the time
between first breast developmentand first period is typically
two to three years.
It can be as long as six years,but let's get our girls ready,
which brings up a great point.
(03:53):
There's this strange competitionsometimes.
Either you don't wanna be thefirst, you don't wanna be the
last to get it, but obviouslyeveryone's body has its own
schedule.
Well, what's considered averageor normal, because everyone
seems to be on a differentschedule.
I did look this up and it saysthe average age for menstruation
in the US is around 12.4 yearsold, but anything between nine
(04:15):
and 16 is actually considerednormal.
And that's a very big range.
And I feel like my periods weresuper irregular for the first
few years.
My cycle was like 21 days, onemonth, and 45 the next.
I mean, I feel like that'snormal too, while your body's
kind of figuring things out.
Frankly, that still kind ofhappens to me.
Mine were actually differently.
Regular.
Right away.
I had one the first month, thesecond month and every month
(04:37):
from then on I was never gonetwo months without one and never
had two very close together.
Mine was pretty regular from thestart.
Alright, you special.
Clearly, but that's why trackingcan be helpful and there's I
think some apps for that too,but also why we.
Flow.
Flow.
Flow, okay.
FO flow.
If you wanna come sponsor us.
That's what I use.
We're touting you FLO, butthat's why, you know, again,
(05:00):
tracking could be helpfulbecause it's all our bodies are
different and we need to bepatient'cause they're doing very
complicated work.
But I think most important forparents and children to
recognize is that this is allnormal.
Puberty happens and there's noreason to be embarrassed or
ignore it.
Embrace it.
If your breasts are growing,then be sure to shop for bras or
(05:21):
supportive tank tops.
If you need to start shaving,grab a razor.
If your child has body odor, besure to buy them.
Deodorant, please.
We thank you for it.
I can't tell you how many momsI've seen in Facebook parenting
groups not willing to let theirdaughter shave or use deodorant.
'cause they just feel they'retoo young, even though the kids
want it.
And that to me just sets yourchild up for shame of their body
(05:43):
and around other people, andthat's just silly.
Alright.
Let's talk first periods becausethat's one of those moments that
lives rent free in your brainforever.
Everyone remember their firstperiod?
I do.
I was about 12 and a half yearsold.
I noticed a stain in myunderwear in the evening and
called my mother into thebathroom.
I knew what it was, but I wasconfused and scared about it.
(06:03):
Anyway, I hid in my bedroomafter that.
We had plans the next day to goon our cousin's boat, and I was
so embarrassed by it all that Ijust lied in the front of the
boat all day, not talking toanyone with shorts over my
bailing suit, and as a result Igot so super sunburned because I
was hiding away in the sun.
Personally for me, I was exactly12 and a half.
(06:25):
It was on my 12 and a halfbirthday.
I really don't remember exactlyhow it happened.
I think I just kind of felt likea weird feeling and thought
maybe I peed my pants.
But no, it was just my period.
But I, being my dramatic self,um, I was terrified.
I cried in the bathroom.
I think I like, took a showerand cried the whole shower.
(06:47):
Like I just.
Cried for a very long time whenI got my period.
Yeah.
A you weren't upset or scared,you just said like, I don't want
this, and I get it.
It's a big change.
It's very overwhelming.
Mine came when I was 11 and ahalf, lucky me.
And I actually noticed it.
I had gone to the bathroom inthe middle of the night and I
had noticed it, but I didn't sayanything'cause.
(07:10):
I kind of like, I didn't wannawake him up and I was still kind
of scared.
And then I woke up the nextmorning knowing I already had it
and kinda went, mom, I think Igot my period.
You had packed me a pad, wipesin a note.
'cause I still had to go toschool that day.
And honestly that made adifference.
That's a big parenting tip rightthere.
Prepare your children before ithappens.
Don't wait until it's urgent.
(07:30):
Have the conversation early.
Make it normal and give them thesupplies they might need.
I remember sending you both tosleepaway camp and to school.
Armed with information andsupplies just in case.
And if I could tell my youngerself something, it would be not
to freak out about usingtampons.
I was so intimidated by them atfirst, but they actually give me
so much more freedom once Ifigured them out.
(07:51):
I started with pads like I feellike everyone else does, but
switch to tampons a few monthsin when summer was coming up.
Figure them out.
Afe, I'm still traumatized bydoing a demo for you of a
tampon.
We're both, we're bothtraumatized.
So how did you feel when itfinally happened?
Were you guys excited, nervous,grossed out?
I don't really remember.
(08:11):
I think I was a little scaredbecause I was also like the
first of my close friends to getit.
As far as you know, as far as I,well, I, I now know in the
future when they got theirs, Iwas the first of them to get it.
but I was more just like annoyedbecause it's just so
inconvenient and annoying.
(08:33):
I mean, I think, I, I don'twanna say handle situations
better than Ava, but get lessfreaked out over them.
And especially after Ava alreadygetting hers.
We had talked about it a lot andI had been there for mommy's
whole talk to Ava for her firstone, even though it was like two
or two years before I got mine.
So I kind of was like preparedfor it.
I mean it feels weirdly grownup.
'cause I also got mine youngerthan you two had had.
(08:55):
And I think also before most ofmy close friends, from what I
remember, but like it was kindof like you, you feel so
prepared, but then also at thesame time you're so unprepared.
Like you knew the biology.
But you never know the practicalstuff.
You don't always know what toexpect, especially since it's
different for everybody.
Yeah.
Like how often to change a pador what to do at night or even
(09:16):
just like all the things youpersonally will feel.
Yeah.
And that's why we're making thisepisode because the biology is
important and you're all taughtthat in health class or in
science at some point in schoolwhen they separate the boys and
girls.
Right.
But so are the everyday detailsthat make living with periods
easier.
I actually missed out on myfirst health class for periods
'cause of COVID.
(09:36):
We were supposed to have it, butwe had like started with puberty
and we never got to the periodunit.
Now let's get into the symptoms.
Cramps, bloating, mood swings,headaches, fatigue.
It's a lot.
And it's not just in our heads,there's a real biology
happening.
I think I get what's called arage fog.
(09:57):
I don't even like feel myself, Ican just get really easily mad
or tired or upset last month.
I get like theories just'causesomeone like breathed too loudly
or talked too loudly near me andthat's not so normal for me.
Yeah, I get really bad cramps.
I get them both, like for thefirst two days of my period, I
get them like midway through mycycle sometimes.
(10:19):
I know when I started my period,I had really bad cramps.
I had really heavy periods, butI actually have been on birth
control for.
Years.
So God knows what it would belike if I wasn't, because I
can't even imagine.
Yeah.
And some people get reallyheadachey or just ache you all
over.
Yeah.
The symptoms don't really, I dosuck.
So here's the thing.
No one prepares you for how muchit can affect your mind and your
(10:41):
body.
And it is different foreveryone.
I think.
Let's talk about the science fora second, because understanding
what's happening helps me dealwith it better.
Absolutely.
Science moment.
Dr.
Mama.
So during your period, don't beso excited girls.
So during your period, yourhormones, so your estrogen and
(11:01):
your progesterone levels dropdramatically, and this affects
serotonin and dopamine, whichyou may know is kind of those
feel good chemicals, which iswhy your mood changes are really
valid, right?
Your, your hormones are goingdown, your.
Dopamine not doing what itshould.
And so moodiness and achinessand crankiness are all normal.
(11:22):
And something like 90% of peoplewho menstruate experience at
least one PMM S symptom, even ifit's just like a light headache.
So if you feel off before yourperiod, you're definitely not
alone.
Yeah, I mean we talked about itbefore, but I feel like tracking
my cycle definitely helps a lot.
It kind of just reminds me like,oh, be ready.
You're gonna be on your period.
(11:42):
But I think anything like evenmy birth control reminds me when
I'm supposed to get my period,if it's normal that week.
So let's share some practicaltips for dealing with symptoms.
Heating pads are absolute magicfor cramps.
Yeah, I have a microwaveable onethat I literally cannot live
without and I feel like I kindof just rely on like pain
(12:04):
relievers, Aleve, naproxendefinitely help, but sometimes
you just gotta thug it out.
So what's your go-to periodsurvival routine?
Um, get pissed off that I'm onmy period.
Wear loose fitting clothes andtake a handful of Advil.
Pain relievers all day, everyday.
(12:24):
And text my friends in themorning before school saying
that I don't know what to wearand I don't want to go to
school.
And sometimes that feels likeI'm dying, even though I know
I'm not.
But it helps to have someone whoknows how I'm feeling.
So during the day, if I'mannoyed, they know why.
And what's the one symptom thatalways guessed to you?
Cramps, period.
Cramps.
I definitely get really badheadaches.
(12:45):
Like I know sometimes I've evenhad like temperatures during my
period just'cause I get so like.
Lightheaded and dizzy so easily.
All just awful.
Awful.
Okay.
Something we haven't discussedyet is how different cultures
and religions view and celebratefirst periods.
And I think this is reallyfascinating because it shows how
(13:05):
universal this experience is.
Yeah.
Like the tradition in ourfamily.
Mom, why don't you go ahead andexplain that a little.
Well, I know I, go ahead.
So I think it's in Jewishfamilies, there's this old
tradition, certainly a traditionin our family.
Where the mother slaps lightly,we'll say her daughter on her
face when she gets her firstperiod.
My grandmother did it to my mom.
(13:26):
My mom did it to me, and I gotto do it to both of you.
Yeah.
I do think it's a Jewishtradition, but I remember being
really confused when you didthat To me, there are many
different beliefs regarding thetradition, but I tend to think
of it as the symbolic slap isto.
Welcome you to womanhood, whichcomes with fertility, so you
better be careful.
Plus the woman's life comes witha lot of pain and unexpected
(13:49):
moments.
So it's kind of the start of,huh?
Get used to this kid.
Yeah.
I always thought of it as likeas a slap in the face and it's
like.
Boom woman like, yeah, it is.
I mean, you did it to me too,but you also immediately gave me
a big hug after.
It kind of felt weird for aminute, but it was a special
kind of moment somehow.
Anyone know about any othercultural traditions around first
periods?
I know there are cultures wherethey like celebrate a first
(14:12):
period openly because it's like,woo hoo, your fuzzy wuzzy was a
woman.
Now, you know.
So communities that look likeIndia, Japan, they hold like
coming of age ceremonies forspecial foods and customs.
That sounds way better thanhiding it, and maybe even being
slapped.
Nothing's better than getting toslap you.
I want a, I want a celebration.
I think that we deserve acelebration.
I'll take those special foods.
(14:34):
do all cultures view periodspositively?
Unfortunately, no.
In some cultures and religions,there are restrictions placed on
menstruating women.
They might be considered impureduring their periods and
restricted from religiousparticipation, cooking, or even
touching others.
Yeah.
I remember learning about in ahistory class, places where
girls are sent to separate hutsduring their periods.
(14:56):
It can be like dangerous andisolating.
Yeah.
And they can't go to schoolthen.
And yeah.
Practices like that I believeare illegal, but unfortunately
still have been.
That seems so unfair and scary.
Which is why education is soimportant.
Many of these harmful practicescome from misunderstandings
about menstruation.
Knowledge and open conversation.
They help.
(15:17):
I think it's important torespect cultural differences
while also making sure everyonehas accurate information and
dignity.
Can we talk about pads versustampon and how there are even
other products available nowtoo?
Great idea.
When I was a kid, we had twooptions.
One bulky pads that felt like adiaper or two cardboard, painful
(15:37):
to put in tampons, but now wegot pads, which are great
starters, thinner, morecomfortable than they used to
be.
Tampons, which are great forswimming and sports in, in my
opinion, every day.
Menstrual cups, which areeco-friendly.
Period.
Underwear, which is amazing forsleep or light days for the
people who have the pleasure ofthat being enough fun.
(15:58):
Having a light day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Menstrual discs, which arenewer, but similar cups and even
period swimwear now.
I started with pads and quicklymoved to tampons'cause we had
gone on vacation in a very nice,warm, tropical place called the
Dominican Republic.
Almost on my second or thirdperiod it was, and of course I
wanted to go swimming, so I hadto quickly learn.
(16:19):
But I sadly sometimes still needpads as a backup on the first
day or even night for me.
My periods can be really heavyand period.
Underwear doesn't always work orisn't as absorbent I just always
use tampons.
I feel like I've heard likehorror stories about people
getting like.
Shock or something Toxic.
Toxic shock syndrome.
Toxic shock syndrome fromwearing tampons.
But I feel like gotta changethem.
(16:39):
You can change them, it's fine.
So yeah, you have to be educatedabout, and this is why it should
be a good, open conversationwith, you know, moms and
daughters, and you're allowed tofigure it out for yourself.
I have friends that even afterdecades of periods, still don't
like using tampons.
And others who would never notuse a tampon.
It's up to each person.
Mom helped me at first create astarter kit for school when I
(17:01):
got my first period.
And now that's just like thingsI bring every day when I have
it.
So I think we should talk aboutwhat goes in that.
Yeah, I mean I think everybodyshould have with them a couple
pads or tampons, whichever youprefer.
Are both right.
A whiteboard two just in case,put'em in a nice little small
zip pouch.
You don't have to shove a tamponin your sleeve, but you have a
cute little, well looks likemakeup bag or pencil case.
(17:23):
When you go to the bathroom, aspare pair of underwear can hurt
and maybe a little love note formom that says, you got this.
I love you.
You're a woman now.
Yeah.
Personally, I always just try tomake sure there's a tampon
loosely thrown in the bottom ofmy bag.
Every bag.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Getting caught without suppliesis the worst.
The worst, yep.
(17:44):
So let's talk about accidentsbecause they unfortunately
happen.
I have recently bled through mylight gray sweatpants at school.
I had to tie a sweatshirt aroundmy waist and call my mom to come
get me.
I feel like I often end upbleeding through my underwear
and always just end up likewrapping toilet paper around my
underwear and moving on with mydad.
Yep.
We've all had a moment.
I once worked with a woman.
(18:06):
This was such, so sad and I feltso bad, but she got up from her
chair in a meeting.
And there was a clear periodstain for all to see left on the
chair.
She was so embarrassed.
I felt terrible, but we womenlike whi off to the bathroom and
then everyone else grabbed blacktowels and cleaned that chair
and swapped it out with anotherone.
So what's much less used?
These things happen and I thinkmost women are incredibly
(18:28):
understanding.
We've all been there.
It's usually our ownembarrassment.
That's the worst part, not otherpeople's reaction.
I mean, what I've from learnedfrom that is that to always,
always carry back of suppliesand dark pants are your best
friend during your period.
I've learned that there is noharm in always using the highest
absorbency product.
Always the highest appropriateabsorbency, I'd say, because
(18:50):
again, toxic shock syndrome is areal thing.
Don't wear super plus if youdon't need it.
Maybe you girls do, but don't.
I feel like there's importantemergency tips for people that
we should talk about.
Yes.
So one, don't be afraid to ask afriend, teacher, or even a
stranger in the bathroom if youneed attention.
Guidance counselor offices willhave in a school too.
(19:11):
Yeah.
Yep.
Nurse or guidance counselor for,so for sure, Eva mentioned
early, but in an absoluteemergency, toilet paper folded
around your underwear, works asa temporary pad.
And most public bathrooms havethose machines for products.
So maybe keeping a quarter ortwo isn't the worst thing, but
those are also really bad oldcardboard types that aren't just
great.
(19:31):
And truth of the matter is thereis literally no shame in
screaming.
Does anyone have a tampon in themiddle of a woman's bathroom?
Because if someone's in there,they probably do.
Yep.
Judgment free zone.
We've all been there.
So here's the truth.
Boys need to be part of thisconversation too.
So do dads, brothers, andteachers, period.
Stigma hurts everyone.
(19:52):
We all live in this world andwe're not helping anyone by
keeping half the population inthe dark.
I think it's a normal thing forboys, especially teenage boys
who are younger, always likegiggle at the idea of a period
as they're five, and they'llmake these dramatic grossed out
faces.
If anyone mentioned a tampon.
And that reaction comes from alack of education.
You gotta normalize it at home.
Say the word, period.
(20:12):
Don't hide your products.
Let your partner buy you tamponsand demand better in schools.
This is health, not taboo.
Actually, Maggie, I was superimpressed a few weeks ago when
you were talking about yourperiod with your boyfriend in
the car.
It's great that you're so matterof fact, it's healthy and it's
normal.
He needs to know what I'm gonnacomplain about it all day too.
Yep.
I've noticed that guys who growup with sisters or whose moms
(20:35):
talk openly about periods areway more mature about it.
It's all about exposure andeducation.
I mean, with living with threegirls, dad's actually pretty
good about it.
He'll pick up supplies at thestore without making a big deal
of it and he never asked for it.
If I say I have cramps orsomething, yeah, dad's come a
long way.
When we first got together, hewas certainly more awkward, but
he made the in effort to getcomfortable with it.
'cause he is got three women, asyou said, even though he still
(20:56):
kind of pretends he's worded outby it all.
I think schools need, sorry.
That's why resources like thispodcast matter.
If your school or family isn'tgiving what you need, find other
trusted sources.
All right ladies, so if we couldleave listeners with some final
takeaways.
Mine would be that periods arenatural, not shameful.
(21:18):
There's nothing to hide.
Yeah, and education equalsempowerment.
The more you understand yourbody, the less scary or
overwhelming it feels, and nomore whispering.
The more openly we talk, theless weird it feels and the more
normal it becomes for everyone.
And if you're confused oroverwhelmed, ask questions.
Find trusted adults, reliablewebsites, books.
(21:38):
Whatever works for you.
Don't stay confused and thanksgirls for having this honest and
open conversation with me.
I know it wasn't necessarilyeasy and a little bit cringey.
And for the audience, if youenjoyed the episode, please
share it with a friend, adaughter, a student, or a parent
who needs a little help stirringthe conversation.
Follow us on instagram@iget.itfrom.my mom.
(22:02):
And now on TikTok atelissa_igetitfrommymom and tell
us.
What's one thing you wish youhad known before your first
period?
We'd love to hear your storiesand remember whether you're on
day one or day 27, your periodis yours and you don't need to
apologize for it.
We all get them.
Even our moms.
See you next time, and thank youfor listening.
welcome back to, I Get It fromMy mom, where we tackle all the
(00:03):
conversations parents andchildren should be having, but
often don't.
I'm Elissa, a mom of two amazingdaughters, and today we're
diving into a topic thatdeserves way more honesty and
way less embarrassment (00:14):
periods.
I am Maggie.
I'm 16 and I think that periodshouldn't be a topic of
weirdness anymore.
I mean, almost half the worldhas them.
So why are we acting like it'ssome big secret?
And I'm Ava, I'm 19.
And honestly, if you've ever hada period, will have one or have
to parent someone through one.
You need this episode.
(00:36):
Because pretending it's a bigsecret helps no one.
And trust me, college is wayeasier when you're not hiding.
Tampons up your sleeve on theway to the bathroom.
Exactly.
Today we're talking abouteverything first, periods,
symptoms, awkward moments, thecost, the politics, the science
behind it, all of it.
So whether you're on cycle dayone, thinking about when it
(00:57):
might happen, or just trying tosupport someone else, you're in
the right place.
And this is your officialinvitation.
Ditch the shame.
Grab a heating pad if you needit, and join the conversation
because honestly, I wish I heardan episode like this before.
I got my first period.
Let's get into it.
(01:24):
Okay, let's back up before thefirst pad, before the cramps,
and let's discuss what a periodeven is because commercials
showing blue, liquid beingpoured into what looks like
diapers or women riding horsesand white pants don't really
explain much, right?
So science moment, woo.
A period is part of themenstrual cycle, which prepares
(01:45):
the body for pregnancy eachmonth.
When a pregnancy doesn't happen,ladies does not happen.
It's the shedding of the uterinelining.
So your body builds up this nicecushioning lion leaning in case
an egg gets fertilized.
But since it doesn't, your bodysays, well, we don't need this
anymore.
And out it goes.
But puberty actually starts muchearlier than when periods begin.
(02:07):
Do you remember those earlysigns that you noticed that
parents and kids should watchfor?
Yeah.
I remember being confused aboutthe changes happening and
sometimes even frustrated waybefore my first period came.
Yep.
Breast buds, I think they'recalled are usually the first
sign.
Girls around nine or 10 maystart to get kind of puffier
nipple areas, which are thebeginning of puberty.
(02:28):
Depending on body shape, itcould be two to three years to
more years before a periodstarts.
Yeah, that's kind of like thatawkward age where you're wearing
like the camisole training brabras, basically tank tops
because it was kind ofnoticeable in like light
colored, thin shirts And bodyhair starts growing in new
places.
I noticed hair in all places ofmy body more than a year before
(02:49):
my period even started.
If there's also a growth spurtthat usually happens, girls
often grow taller at a fasterrate ahead of their period,
especially faster than boys.
Yep.
Although parents don't fret toomuch about this, I was actually
very worried that you girlswould be super short forever
since you didn't necessarilyshoot up before your periods and
(03:09):
by the time your periods came.
I was a little concerned youweren't really averages height
even for our family, but youboth grew like two to three
inches for a year or twoafterwards, so at least you're
now very good heights.
And so don't be too concernedabout what height your child is
as soon as that period comes,there's time.
And don't forget about bodyorder, when people suddenly had
(03:31):
to start wearing deodorant whenthey never needed it before.
Yep.
Parents, these early signs areyour cue to start conversations
about periods.
Even if they seem years away,the research shows that the time
between first breast developmentand first period is typically
two to three years.
It can be as long as six years,but let's get our girls ready,
which brings up a great point.
(03:53):
There's this strange competitionsometimes.
Either you don't wanna be thefirst, you don't wanna be the
last to get it, but obviouslyeveryone's body has its own
schedule.
Well, what's considered averageor normal, because everyone
seems to be on a differentschedule.
I did look this up and it saysthe average age for menstruation
in the US is around 12.4 yearsold, but anything between nine
(04:15):
and 16 is actually considerednormal.
And that's a very big range.
And I feel like my periods weresuper irregular for the first
few years.
My cycle was like 21 days, onemonth, and 45 the next.
I mean, I feel like that'snormal too, while your body's
kind of figuring things out.
Frankly, that still kind ofhappens to me.
Mine were actually differently.
Regular.
Right away.
I had one the first month, thesecond month and every month
(04:37):
from then on I was never gonetwo months without one and never
had two very close together.
Mine was pretty regular from thestart.
Alright, you special.
Clearly, but that's why trackingcan be helpful and there's I
think some apps for that too,but also why we.
Flow.
Flow.
Flow, okay.
FO flow.
If you wanna come sponsor us.
That's what I use.
We're touting you FLO, butthat's why, you know, again,
(05:00):
tracking could be helpfulbecause it's all our bodies are
different and we need to bepatient'cause they're doing very
complicated work.
But I think most important forparents and children to
recognize is that this is allnormal.
Puberty happens and there's noreason to be embarrassed or
ignore it.
Embrace it.
If your breasts are growing,then be sure to shop for bras or
(05:21):
supportive tank tops.
If you need to start shaving,grab a razor.
If your child has body odor, besure to buy them.
Deodorant, please.
We thank you for it.
I can't tell you how many momsI've seen in Facebook parenting
groups not willing to let theirdaughter shave or use deodorant.
'cause they just feel they'retoo young, even though the kids
want it.
And that to me just sets yourchild up for shame of their body
(05:43):
and around other people, andthat's just silly.
Alright.
Let's talk first periods becausethat's one of those moments that
lives rent free in your brainforever.
Everyone remember their firstperiod?
I do.
I was about 12 and a half yearsold.
I noticed a stain in myunderwear in the evening and
called my mother into thebathroom.
I knew what it was, but I wasconfused and scared about it.
(06:03):
Anyway, I hid in my bedroomafter that.
We had plans the next day to goon our cousin's boat, and I was
so embarrassed by it all that Ijust lied in the front of the
boat all day, not talking toanyone with shorts over my
bailing suit, and as a result Igot so super sunburned because I
was hiding away in the sun.
Personally for me, I was exactly12 and a half.
(06:25):
It was on my 12 and a halfbirthday.
I really don't remember exactlyhow it happened.
I think I just kind of felt likea weird feeling and thought
maybe I peed my pants.
But no, it was just my period.
But I, being my dramatic self,um, I was terrified.
I cried in the bathroom.
I think I like, took a showerand cried the whole shower.
(06:47):
Like I just.
Cried for a very long time whenI got my period.
Yeah.
A you weren't upset or scared,you just said like, I don't want
this, and I get it.
It's a big change.
It's very overwhelming.
Mine came when I was 11 and ahalf, lucky me.
And I actually noticed it.
I had gone to the bathroom inthe middle of the night and I
had noticed it, but I didn't sayanything'cause.
(07:10):
I kind of like, I didn't wannawake him up and I was still kind
of scared.
And then I woke up the nextmorning knowing I already had it
and kinda went, mom, I think Igot my period.
You had packed me a pad, wipesin a note.
'cause I still had to go toschool that day.
And honestly that made adifference.
That's a big parenting tip rightthere.
Prepare your children before ithappens.
Don't wait until it's urgent.
(07:30):
Have the conversation early.
Make it normal and give them thesupplies they might need.
I remember sending you both tosleepaway camp and to school.
Armed with information andsupplies just in case.
And if I could tell my youngerself something, it would be not
to freak out about usingtampons.
I was so intimidated by them atfirst, but they actually give me
so much more freedom once Ifigured them out.
(07:51):
I started with pads like I feellike everyone else does, but
switch to tampons a few monthsin when summer was coming up.
Figure them out.
Afe, I'm still traumatized bydoing a demo for you of a
tampon.
We're both, we're bothtraumatized.
So how did you feel when itfinally happened?
Were you guys excited, nervous,grossed out?
I don't really remember.
(08:11):
I think I was a little scaredbecause I was also like the
first of my close friends to getit.
As far as you know, as far as I,well, I, I now know in the
future when they got theirs, Iwas the first of them to get it.
but I was more just like annoyedbecause it's just so
inconvenient and annoying.
(08:33):
I mean, I think, I, I don'twanna say handle situations
better than Ava, but get lessfreaked out over them.
And especially after Ava alreadygetting hers.
We had talked about it a lot andI had been there for mommy's
whole talk to Ava for her firstone, even though it was like two
or two years before I got mine.
So I kind of was like preparedfor it.
I mean it feels weirdly grownup.
'cause I also got mine youngerthan you two had had.
(08:55):
And I think also before most ofmy close friends, from what I
remember, but like it was kindof like you, you feel so
prepared, but then also at thesame time you're so unprepared.
Like you knew the biology.
But you never know the practicalstuff.
You don't always know what toexpect, especially since it's
different for everybody.
Yeah.
Like how often to change a pador what to do at night or even
(09:16):
just like all the things youpersonally will feel.
Yeah.
And that's why we're making thisepisode because the biology is
important and you're all taughtthat in health class or in
science at some point in schoolwhen they separate the boys and
girls.
Right.
But so are the everyday detailsthat make living with periods
easier.
I actually missed out on myfirst health class for periods
'cause of COVID.
(09:36):
We were supposed to have it, butwe had like started with puberty
and we never got to the periodunit.
Now let's get into the symptoms.
Cramps, bloating, mood swings,headaches, fatigue.
It's a lot.
And it's not just in our heads,there's a real biology
happening.
I think I get what's called arage fog.
(09:57):
I don't even like feel myself, Ican just get really easily mad
or tired or upset last month.
I get like theories just'causesomeone like breathed too loudly
or talked too loudly near me andthat's not so normal for me.
Yeah, I get really bad cramps.
I get them both, like for thefirst two days of my period, I
get them like midway through mycycle sometimes.
(10:19):
I know when I started my period,I had really bad cramps.
I had really heavy periods, butI actually have been on birth
control for.
Years.
So God knows what it would belike if I wasn't, because I
can't even imagine.
Yeah.
And some people get reallyheadachey or just ache you all
over.
Yeah.
The symptoms don't really, I dosuck.
So here's the thing.
No one prepares you for how muchit can affect your mind and your
(10:41):
body.
And it is different foreveryone.
I think.
Let's talk about the science fora second, because understanding
what's happening helps me dealwith it better.
Absolutely.
Science moment.
Dr.
Mama.
So during your period, don't beso excited girls.
So during your period, yourhormones, so your estrogen and
(11:01):
your progesterone levels dropdramatically, and this affects
serotonin and dopamine, whichyou may know is kind of those
feel good chemicals, which iswhy your mood changes are really
valid, right?
Your, your hormones are goingdown, your.
Dopamine not doing what itshould.
And so moodiness and achinessand crankiness are all normal.
(11:22):
And something like 90% of peoplewho menstruate experience at
least one PMM S symptom, even ifit's just like a light headache.
So if you feel off before yourperiod, you're definitely not
alone.
Yeah, I mean we talked about itbefore, but I feel like tracking
my cycle definitely helps a lot.
It kind of just reminds me like,oh, be ready.
You're gonna be on your period.
(11:42):
But I think anything like evenmy birth control reminds me when
I'm supposed to get my period,if it's normal that week.
So let's share some practicaltips for dealing with symptoms.
Heating pads are absolute magicfor cramps.
Yeah, I have a microwaveable onethat I literally cannot live
without and I feel like I kindof just rely on like pain
(12:04):
relievers, Aleve, naproxendefinitely help, but sometimes
you just gotta thug it out.
So what's your go-to periodsurvival routine?
Um, get pissed off that I'm onmy period.
Wear loose fitting clothes andtake a handful of Advil.
Pain relievers all day, everyday.
(12:24):
And text my friends in themorning before school saying
that I don't know what to wearand I don't want to go to
school.
And sometimes that feels likeI'm dying, even though I know
I'm not.
But it helps to have someone whoknows how I'm feeling.
So during the day, if I'mannoyed, they know why.
And what's the one symptom thatalways guessed to you?
Cramps, period.
Cramps.
I definitely get really badheadaches.
(12:45):
Like I know sometimes I've evenhad like temperatures during my
period just'cause I get so like.
Lightheaded and dizzy so easily.
All just awful.
Awful.
Okay.
Something we haven't discussedyet is how different cultures
and religions view and celebratefirst periods.
And I think this is reallyfascinating because it shows how
(13:05):
universal this experience is.
Yeah.
Like the tradition in ourfamily.
Mom, why don't you go ahead andexplain that a little.
Well, I know I, go ahead.
So I think it's in Jewishfamilies, there's this old
tradition, certainly a traditionin our family.
Where the mother slaps lightly,we'll say her daughter on her
face when she gets her firstperiod.
My grandmother did it to my mom.
(13:26):
My mom did it to me, and I gotto do it to both of you.
Yeah.
I do think it's a Jewishtradition, but I remember being
really confused when you didthat To me, there are many
different beliefs regarding thetradition, but I tend to think
of it as the symbolic slap isto.
Welcome you to womanhood, whichcomes with fertility, so you
better be careful.
Plus the woman's life comes witha lot of pain and unexpected
(13:49):
moments.
So it's kind of the start of,huh?
Get used to this kid.
Yeah.
I always thought of it as likeas a slap in the face and it's
like.
Boom woman like, yeah, it is.
I mean, you did it to me too,but you also immediately gave me
a big hug after.
It kind of felt weird for aminute, but it was a special
kind of moment somehow.
Anyone know about any othercultural traditions around first
periods?
I know there are cultures wherethey like celebrate a first
(14:12):
period openly because it's like,woo hoo, your fuzzy wuzzy was a
woman.
Now, you know.
So communities that look likeIndia, Japan, they hold like
coming of age ceremonies forspecial foods and customs.
That sounds way better thanhiding it, and maybe even being
slapped.
Nothing's better than getting toslap you.
I want a, I want a celebration.
I think that we deserve acelebration.
I'll take those special foods.
(14:34):
do all cultures view periodspositively?
Unfortunately, no.
In some cultures and religions,there are restrictions placed on
menstruating women.
They might be considered impureduring their periods and
restricted from religiousparticipation, cooking, or even
touching others.
Yeah.
I remember learning about in ahistory class, places where
girls are sent to separate hutsduring their periods.
(14:56):
It can be like dangerous andisolating.
Yeah.
And they can't go to schoolthen.
And yeah.
Practices like that I believeare illegal, but unfortunately
still have been.
That seems so unfair and scary.
Which is why education is soimportant.
Many of these harmful practicescome from misunderstandings
about menstruation.
Knowledge and open conversation.
They help.
(15:17):
I think it's important torespect cultural differences
while also making sure everyonehas accurate information and
dignity.
Can we talk about pads versustampon and how there are even
other products available nowtoo?
Great idea.
When I was a kid, we had twooptions.
One bulky pads that felt like adiaper or two cardboard, painful
(15:37):
to put in tampons, but now wegot pads, which are great
starters, thinner, morecomfortable than they used to
be.
Tampons, which are great forswimming and sports in, in my
opinion, every day.
Menstrual cups, which areeco-friendly.
Period.
Underwear, which is amazing forsleep or light days for the
people who have the pleasure ofthat being enough fun.
(15:58):
Having a light day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Menstrual discs, which arenewer, but similar cups and even
period swimwear now.
I started with pads and quicklymoved to tampons'cause we had
gone on vacation in a very nice,warm, tropical place called the
Dominican Republic.
Almost on my second or thirdperiod it was, and of course I
wanted to go swimming, so I hadto quickly learn.
(16:19):
But I sadly sometimes still needpads as a backup on the first
day or even night for me.
My periods can be really heavyand period.
Underwear doesn't always work orisn't as absorbent I just always
use tampons.
I feel like I've heard likehorror stories about people
getting like.
Shock or something Toxic.
Toxic shock syndrome.
Toxic shock syndrome fromwearing tampons.
But I feel like gotta changethem.
(16:39):
You can change them, it's fine.
So yeah, you have to be educatedabout, and this is why it should
be a good, open conversationwith, you know, moms and
daughters, and you're allowed tofigure it out for yourself.
I have friends that even afterdecades of periods, still don't
like using tampons.
And others who would never notuse a tampon.
It's up to each person.
Mom helped me at first create astarter kit for school when I
(17:01):
got my first period.
And now that's just like thingsI bring every day when I have
it.
So I think we should talk aboutwhat goes in that.
Yeah, I mean I think everybodyshould have with them a couple
pads or tampons, whichever youprefer.
Are both right.
A whiteboard two just in case,put'em in a nice little small
zip pouch.
You don't have to shove a tamponin your sleeve, but you have a
cute little, well looks likemakeup bag or pencil case.
(17:23):
When you go to the bathroom, aspare pair of underwear can hurt
and maybe a little love note formom that says, you got this.
I love you.
You're a woman now.
Yeah.
Personally, I always just try tomake sure there's a tampon
loosely thrown in the bottom ofmy bag.
Every bag.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Getting caught without suppliesis the worst.
The worst, yep.
(17:44):
So let's talk about accidentsbecause they unfortunately
happen.
I have recently bled through mylight gray sweatpants at school.
I had to tie a sweatshirt aroundmy waist and call my mom to come
get me.
I feel like I often end upbleeding through my underwear
and always just end up likewrapping toilet paper around my
underwear and moving on with mydad.
Yep.
We've all had a moment.
I once worked with a woman.
(18:06):
This was such, so sad and I feltso bad, but she got up from her
chair in a meeting.
And there was a clear periodstain for all to see left on the
chair.
She was so embarrassed.
I felt terrible, but we womenlike whi off to the bathroom and
then everyone else grabbed blacktowels and cleaned that chair
and swapped it out with anotherone.
So what's much less used?
These things happen and I thinkmost women are incredibly
(18:28):
understanding.
We've all been there.
It's usually our ownembarrassment.
That's the worst part, not otherpeople's reaction.
I mean, what I've from learnedfrom that is that to always,
always carry back of suppliesand dark pants are your best
friend during your period.
I've learned that there is noharm in always using the highest
absorbency product.
Always the highest appropriateabsorbency, I'd say, because
(18:50):
again, toxic shock syndrome is areal thing.
Don't wear super plus if youdon't need it.
Maybe you girls do, but don't.
I feel like there's importantemergency tips for people that
we should talk about.
Yes.
So one, don't be afraid to ask afriend, teacher, or even a
stranger in the bathroom if youneed attention.
Guidance counselor offices willhave in a school too.
(19:11):
Yeah.
Yep.
Nurse or guidance counselor for,so for sure, Eva mentioned
early, but in an absoluteemergency, toilet paper folded
around your underwear, works asa temporary pad.
And most public bathrooms havethose machines for products.
So maybe keeping a quarter ortwo isn't the worst thing, but
those are also really bad oldcardboard types that aren't just
great.
(19:31):
And truth of the matter is thereis literally no shame in
screaming.
Does anyone have a tampon in themiddle of a woman's bathroom?
Because if someone's in there,they probably do.
Yep.
Judgment free zone.
We've all been there.
So here's the truth.
Boys need to be part of thisconversation too.
So do dads, brothers, andteachers, period.
Stigma hurts everyone.
(19:52):
We all live in this world andwe're not helping anyone by
keeping half the population inthe dark.
I think it's a normal thing forboys, especially teenage boys
who are younger, always likegiggle at the idea of a period
as they're five, and they'llmake these dramatic grossed out
faces.
If anyone mentioned a tampon.
And that reaction comes from alack of education.
You gotta normalize it at home.
Say the word, period.
(20:12):
Don't hide your products.
Let your partner buy you tamponsand demand better in schools.
This is health, not taboo.
Actually, Maggie, I was superimpressed a few weeks ago when
you were talking about yourperiod with your boyfriend in
the car.
It's great that you're so matterof fact, it's healthy and it's
normal.
He needs to know what I'm gonnacomplain about it all day too.
Yep.
I've noticed that guys who growup with sisters or whose moms
(20:35):
talk openly about periods areway more mature about it.
It's all about exposure andeducation.
I mean, with living with threegirls, dad's actually pretty
good about it.
He'll pick up supplies at thestore without making a big deal
of it and he never asked for it.
If I say I have cramps orsomething, yeah, dad's come a
long way.
When we first got together, hewas certainly more awkward, but
he made the in effort to getcomfortable with it.
'cause he is got three women, asyou said, even though he still
(20:56):
kind of pretends he's worded outby it all.
I think schools need, sorry.
That's why resources like thispodcast matter.
If your school or family isn'tgiving what you need, find other
trusted sources.
All right ladies, so if we couldleave listeners with some final
takeaways.
Mine would be that periods arenatural, not shameful.
(21:18):
There's nothing to hide.
Yeah, and education equalsempowerment.
The more you understand yourbody, the less scary or
overwhelming it feels, and nomore whispering.
The more openly we talk, theless weird it feels and the more
normal it becomes for everyone.
And if you're confused oroverwhelmed, ask questions.
Find trusted adults, reliablewebsites, books.
(21:38):
Whatever works for you.
Don't stay confused and thanksgirls for having this honest and
open conversation with me.
I know it wasn't necessarilyeasy and a little bit cringey.
And for the audience, if youenjoyed the episode, please
share it with a friend, adaughter, a student, or a parent
who needs a little help stirringthe conversation.
Follow us on instagram@iget.itfrom.my mom.
(22:02):
And now on TikTok atelissa_igetitfrommymom and tell
us.
What's one thing you wish youhad known before your first
period?
We'd love to hear your storiesand remember whether you're on
day one or day 27, your periodis yours and you don't need to
apologize for it.
We all get them.
Even our moms.
See you next time, and thank youfor listening.
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