July 15, 2025 • 11 mins
What happens when your career hits pause… but the rest of your life keeps going?
In this honest (and sometimes funny) solo episode, Elissa reflects on the past year since getting laid off after 26 years in the workforce. From job loss grief and imposter syndrome to the weird freedom of unscheduled days and a happy dog who thinks she now lives at home forever, this is a candid look at identity, parenting, and reinvention in midlife.
Along the way, Elissa shares what surprised her most: how her daughters didn’t flinch when she stopped working, how her value was never tied to a paycheck in their eyes, and how, slowly, she’s learning to see herself that way too.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, sidelined, or simply in between roles, professionally or personally, this episode is for you.
For more reflections on parenting, career pivots, and trying to make sense of what comes next, follow along on:
Threads: @elissa_igetitfrommymom
Substack: https://igetitfrommymom.substack.com/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:00):
Welcome back to, I Get It from My mom, the podcast
(00:03):
where we talk about the thingsparents and children should be
talking about, but sometimesavoid.
I'm Elissa host mom, emotionalBarometer for my household, and
someone who until recently had aLinkedIn headline that actually
made sense.
Today I'm flying solo.
(00:25):
No Ava, no Maggie.
Just me.
Again, frankly, we're findingour summer schedules are a bit
hard to coordinate, but not tofret.
We'll be back to our regularlyscheduled family content soon
enough.
Lots to talk about regardinggoing off to college, but it's
my turn again to be in thespotlight, and we're talking
(00:46):
about my past year.
In an episode, I'll call.
The year I got laid off and tryto sort of, kind of find myself,
let's get into it.
(01:11):
It happened kind of like abreakup, but with fewer tissues
and more legal sounding emails.
I'd been working full-time for26 years balancing work,
motherhood, project deadlines,appointments, babies, and
laundry that somehow reproduceswhen no one's looking.
(01:32):
Then one day I got the call,well, actually I got a Sunday
night email scheduling theMonday call for structure
elimination.
Thank you for your service,yada, yada, yada.
Frankly, I wasn't fullysurprised the company was, and
continues to go through a lot ofdownsizing, unfortunately, and I
(01:55):
knew my role was at risk, notreflective at all of my
performance, just my position.
In fact, much of my team,including my boss, my peers, and
my subordinates were eliminatedthat day and many, many more
have unfortunately gone throughsimilar rounds of restructuring
since then, and I wasn't evenloving my job at the time.
(02:16):
I had worked so hard for so longto constantly move up and take
on more responsibility and makemore money that I found myself
owning capabilities andresponsible for work.
I was a bit too far for myinterests and skills, but
nevertheless, I found myselfgoing through all the stages of
job loss that come with thisnews.
(02:39):
Fear, stress, sadness, fear,madness, fear maybe at the
beginning a little too muchoptimism.
So I first, I tried to make thebest of it.
I'm Marie Condoed my entirehouse like I was on a home
organization show for moms Indenial.
I walked the dog a lot.
(03:01):
Very long walks.
I made very detailed grocerylists and cooked a whole bunch
of meals.
I hadn't cooked in a while.
I got to relax at the beach andbe there for Ava as she shopped,
packed, and went off to collegefor the first time.
I even flirted with the idea offinally working out again.
But underneath all that, I was alittle lost.
(03:23):
Without the structure of work, Iwasn't sure who I was.
I'd spent years being busy, toobusy being needed, being
efficient, being everywhere atonce.
I defined myself so often by mycareer and my paycheck.
Suddenly, no one was waiting onmy reply.
No one needed a Zoom link.
(03:43):
My inbox was quiet.
My phone was quiet.
My calendar looked like an emptysnow.
Globe blank, no matter which wayI shook it.
Here's where the mom piece comesin.
I had built a system where everymoment of my day was defined by
either being productive oruseful to someone or something
else.
(04:03):
Without that, I kind of feltinvisible.
I didn't know how to definemyself.
So let's talk about the funpart, the spiral.
I've applied to countlessjumbles things to no avail.
I have stared at LinkedIn solong.
I feel like I'm no longerqualified to do anything,
(04:24):
including things I've alreadydone and done my, well, I must
say at must hire pay grades.
I have had many initialinterviews and then gotten
ghosted, including just byrecruiters.
I called, I've rewritten myresume 74 times.
I've updated LinkedIn so much.
It looks like I'm launching astartup called Please someone
(04:45):
hire me.
Notice me.
Anyone please LLC.
I've questioned whether I willfind my footing again and what
that footing is, but meanwhile,my kids, they've been unfazed.
No.
Why aren't you working?
No.
Do you just like stay home now?
They just kept being them,asking for snacks, for getting
(05:08):
towels after showers.
Needing help with social dramaand also definitely still
thinking I'm in charge oflaundry, mood management and
cooking dinner.
In their eyes, nothing hasreally changed.
I'm still the default parentjust now.
I have a lot more time to answertheir texts and FaceTimes and
run their errands.
(05:29):
And here's why.
That's a good thing andimportant.
They never define me by my job.
I did.
I was the one who tied my worthto how in demand I was to being
busy, to being booked andproductive and slightly
overwhelmed at all times.
But my girls, they still justsaw me as well.
(05:50):
Mom still come to me for comfortand advice and very specific
hair product recommendations.
They haven't been embarrassedthat I'm home, even though I am
home a lot.
They haven't asked when I'mgoing back to work.
They've just adjusted.
That acceptance, that's a giftbecause they remind me our kids
(06:10):
aren't watching us to see ifwe're crushing it at work every
second of the day.
They're watching how we respondwhen things fall apart, how we
handle change, how we speak toourselves in the in between.
So at some point, once theclosets were organized and the
novelty of weekday errands wereoff, I got bored.
(06:31):
Very bored.
I don't know how to sit still.
And in that boredom though,something interested has
happened.
I started having time to thinkagain, dream again.
Maybe be a little creative.
For the first time ever, Ithought about conversations I
wanted to have.
I scribbled ideas in notebooks.
I talked to friends about careershifts and creativity in
(06:54):
motherhood and midlife and themental load.
And eventually I sat down torecord a podcast episode with my
daughters, and that turned into,I get it from my mom.
Was it perfectly planned?
Nope.
Did I know what I was doingalso?
No.
Do I still have any idea of whatI'm doing?
Definitely not.
(07:14):
But it felt like something thatwas like mine hours and that
mattered more than perfecttiming or a LinkedIn job update.
I've explored social media moreto help promote this podcast.
Check me out on threads or asubstack.
I'm still learning to be oncamera for TikTok.
Not fully comfortable with thatone yet.
I'm also partnering with afriend and former colleague on
(07:36):
building new platforms andapplications that are intended
to help busy women to ease theirburden, to find community, to
get stuff done.
That's exciting.
I've learned a lot doing it andmore news to come on that
hopefully very soon.
Now none of this is making memoney.
And financially, I assure youthis is very stressful and David
(07:58):
and I are doing our best to bebalanced with the children, but
they've of course noticedchanges we've had to make.
But I'm doing my best to remainon top of and optimistic in this
crazy job market, but alsofocused on what else I can do in
the meantime.
And this part is weird.
I'm home now in any way.
I never was when the girls werelittle, but now they don't need
(08:22):
me as much.
They make their own meals ifneeded.
They take their own subways.
They manage their own lives.
Ava doesn't even live here ninemonths of the year, and yet I'm
here available, present everysingle day.
I wander around the house like aretired cruise director whose
guests are all off doingsomething on their own.
(08:43):
But the beauty is I am here whenthey do need me for the late
night venting for the, can youhelp me figure out what to email
this teacher for the, do I soundcrazy if I say this to my
friend?
For the, can you make me thisappointment?
I'm not central anymore in thework sense or in the dependence
on me sense, but I'm stillsteady and there, and maybe
(09:07):
that's more valuable thananything I was before.
I've also loved to learn thequiet again, not just the
absence of noise, but the pause,the space to think, to reflect,
to grieve what I've lost andimagine what might be next.
Here's what I hope my daughterstake from this season of my
life.
(09:28):
That reinvention isn't linear,that you don't need to have it
all figured out at 18 or 38, oram I now 48?
That failure, boredom andstarting over are not signs of
weakness.
They're signs of, I don't know,being alive, being human.
That confidence doesn't comefirst.
(09:48):
It comes after you start doingthe thing.
Most importantly, that justbecause someone is home doesn't
mean they're not doing somethingpowerful or meaningful or brave.
Even if I'm often napping, I'msuch a good napper, thank
goodness for time, for naps.
So this year cracked me open inways I didn't expect and made me
(10:11):
softer, yet also scrappier.
I've been figuring things outslowly.
I definitely don't have aperfect comeback plan.
I love one, but can't seem tofigure that out, but I started a
podcast of starting to hopefullymaybe build a business.
I started listening to the ideasthat used to get drowned out by
(10:31):
the noise and meetings andsubway commutes and stress.
I've had more time with my girlsand David, whether they wanted
this much time with me or not.
I've had more time with my dog,who, let's be honest, is the
most grateful for this newchapter, and I've spent more
time with myself, which is acomplicated relationship, but
(10:53):
we're working on it.
We've learned that we preferjeans to sweatpants.
We've learned that we likesleeping in a little bit or
going back to bed.
We've learned that we will neveragain wear heels because we are
only comfortable in sneakers orflip flops.
So if you're in the middle of ashift or just stuck in the weird
space between what was andwhatever's next, same, I see
(11:16):
you.
You're not behind.
You're just figuring it out.
We're allowed to start messy.
We're allowed to becomesomething new and we're allowed
to still want a paycheck.
We're also allowed to be contentto have the only title for
ourselves right now, be Mom, andthat works for me.
Until next time, I'm Elissa, andthis is, I get it from my mom.
Welcome back to, I Get It from My mom, the podcast
(00:03):
where we talk about the thingsparents and children should be
talking about, but sometimesavoid.
I'm Elissa host mom, emotionalBarometer for my household, and
someone who until recently had aLinkedIn headline that actually
made sense.
Today I'm flying solo.
(00:25):
No Ava, no Maggie.
Just me.
Again, frankly, we're findingour summer schedules are a bit
hard to coordinate, but not tofret.
We'll be back to our regularlyscheduled family content soon
enough.
Lots to talk about regardinggoing off to college, but it's
my turn again to be in thespotlight, and we're talking
(00:46):
about my past year.
In an episode, I'll call.
The year I got laid off and tryto sort of, kind of find myself,
let's get into it.
(01:11):
It happened kind of like abreakup, but with fewer tissues
and more legal sounding emails.
I'd been working full-time for26 years balancing work,
motherhood, project deadlines,appointments, babies, and
laundry that somehow reproduceswhen no one's looking.
(01:32):
Then one day I got the call,well, actually I got a Sunday
night email scheduling theMonday call for structure
elimination.
Thank you for your service,yada, yada, yada.
Frankly, I wasn't fullysurprised the company was, and
continues to go through a lot ofdownsizing, unfortunately, and I
(01:55):
knew my role was at risk, notreflective at all of my
performance, just my position.
In fact, much of my team,including my boss, my peers, and
my subordinates were eliminatedthat day and many, many more
have unfortunately gone throughsimilar rounds of restructuring
since then, and I wasn't evenloving my job at the time.
(02:16):
I had worked so hard for so longto constantly move up and take
on more responsibility and makemore money that I found myself
owning capabilities andresponsible for work.
I was a bit too far for myinterests and skills, but
nevertheless, I found myselfgoing through all the stages of
job loss that come with thisnews.
(02:39):
Fear, stress, sadness, fear,madness, fear maybe at the
beginning a little too muchoptimism.
So I first, I tried to make thebest of it.
I'm Marie Condoed my entirehouse like I was on a home
organization show for moms Indenial.
I walked the dog a lot.
(03:01):
Very long walks.
I made very detailed grocerylists and cooked a whole bunch
of meals.
I hadn't cooked in a while.
I got to relax at the beach andbe there for Ava as she shopped,
packed, and went off to collegefor the first time.
I even flirted with the idea offinally working out again.
But underneath all that, I was alittle lost.
(03:23):
Without the structure of work, Iwasn't sure who I was.
I'd spent years being busy, toobusy being needed, being
efficient, being everywhere atonce.
I defined myself so often by mycareer and my paycheck.
Suddenly, no one was waiting onmy reply.
No one needed a Zoom link.
(03:43):
My inbox was quiet.
My phone was quiet.
My calendar looked like an emptysnow.
Globe blank, no matter which wayI shook it.
Here's where the mom piece comesin.
I had built a system where everymoment of my day was defined by
either being productive oruseful to someone or something
else.
(04:03):
Without that, I kind of feltinvisible.
I didn't know how to definemyself.
So let's talk about the funpart, the spiral.
I've applied to countlessjumbles things to no avail.
I have stared at LinkedIn solong.
I feel like I'm no longerqualified to do anything,
(04:24):
including things I've alreadydone and done my, well, I must
say at must hire pay grades.
I have had many initialinterviews and then gotten
ghosted, including just byrecruiters.
I called, I've rewritten myresume 74 times.
I've updated LinkedIn so much.
It looks like I'm launching astartup called Please someone
(04:45):
hire me.
Notice me.
Anyone please LLC.
I've questioned whether I willfind my footing again and what
that footing is, but meanwhile,my kids, they've been unfazed.
No.
Why aren't you working?
No.
Do you just like stay home now?
They just kept being them,asking for snacks, for getting
(05:08):
towels after showers.
Needing help with social dramaand also definitely still
thinking I'm in charge oflaundry, mood management and
cooking dinner.
In their eyes, nothing hasreally changed.
I'm still the default parentjust now.
I have a lot more time to answertheir texts and FaceTimes and
run their errands.
(05:29):
And here's why.
That's a good thing andimportant.
They never define me by my job.
I did.
I was the one who tied my worthto how in demand I was to being
busy, to being booked andproductive and slightly
overwhelmed at all times.
But my girls, they still justsaw me as well.
(05:50):
Mom still come to me for comfortand advice and very specific
hair product recommendations.
They haven't been embarrassedthat I'm home, even though I am
home a lot.
They haven't asked when I'mgoing back to work.
They've just adjusted.
That acceptance, that's a giftbecause they remind me our kids
(06:10):
aren't watching us to see ifwe're crushing it at work every
second of the day.
They're watching how we respondwhen things fall apart, how we
handle change, how we speak toourselves in the in between.
So at some point, once theclosets were organized and the
novelty of weekday errands wereoff, I got bored.
(06:31):
Very bored.
I don't know how to sit still.
And in that boredom though,something interested has
happened.
I started having time to thinkagain, dream again.
Maybe be a little creative.
For the first time ever, Ithought about conversations I
wanted to have.
I scribbled ideas in notebooks.
I talked to friends about careershifts and creativity in
(06:54):
motherhood and midlife and themental load.
And eventually I sat down torecord a podcast episode with my
daughters, and that turned into,I get it from my mom.
Was it perfectly planned?
Nope.
Did I know what I was doingalso?
No.
Do I still have any idea of whatI'm doing?
Definitely not.
(07:14):
But it felt like something thatwas like mine hours and that
mattered more than perfecttiming or a LinkedIn job update.
I've explored social media moreto help promote this podcast.
Check me out on threads or asubstack.
I'm still learning to be oncamera for TikTok.
Not fully comfortable with thatone yet.
I'm also partnering with afriend and former colleague on
(07:36):
building new platforms andapplications that are intended
to help busy women to ease theirburden, to find community, to
get stuff done.
That's exciting.
I've learned a lot doing it andmore news to come on that
hopefully very soon.
Now none of this is making memoney.
And financially, I assure youthis is very stressful and David
(07:58):
and I are doing our best to bebalanced with the children, but
they've of course noticedchanges we've had to make.
But I'm doing my best to remainon top of and optimistic in this
crazy job market, but alsofocused on what else I can do in
the meantime.
And this part is weird.
I'm home now in any way.
I never was when the girls werelittle, but now they don't need
(08:22):
me as much.
They make their own meals ifneeded.
They take their own subways.
They manage their own lives.
Ava doesn't even live here ninemonths of the year, and yet I'm
here available, present everysingle day.
I wander around the house like aretired cruise director whose
guests are all off doingsomething on their own.
(08:43):
But the beauty is I am here whenthey do need me for the late
night venting for the, can youhelp me figure out what to email
this teacher for the, do I soundcrazy if I say this to my
friend?
For the, can you make me thisappointment?
I'm not central anymore in thework sense or in the dependence
on me sense, but I'm stillsteady and there, and maybe
(09:07):
that's more valuable thananything I was before.
I've also loved to learn thequiet again, not just the
absence of noise, but the pause,the space to think, to reflect,
to grieve what I've lost andimagine what might be next.
Here's what I hope my daughterstake from this season of my
life.
(09:28):
That reinvention isn't linear,that you don't need to have it
all figured out at 18 or 38, oram I now 48?
That failure, boredom andstarting over are not signs of
weakness.
They're signs of, I don't know,being alive, being human.
That confidence doesn't comefirst.
(09:48):
It comes after you start doingthe thing.
Most importantly, that justbecause someone is home doesn't
mean they're not doing somethingpowerful or meaningful or brave.
Even if I'm often napping, I'msuch a good napper, thank
goodness for time, for naps.
So this year cracked me open inways I didn't expect and made me
(10:11):
softer, yet also scrappier.
I've been figuring things outslowly.
I definitely don't have aperfect comeback plan.
I love one, but can't seem tofigure that out, but I started a
podcast of starting to hopefullymaybe build a business.
I started listening to the ideasthat used to get drowned out by
(10:31):
the noise and meetings andsubway commutes and stress.
I've had more time with my girlsand David, whether they wanted
this much time with me or not.
I've had more time with my dog,who, let's be honest, is the
most grateful for this newchapter, and I've spent more
time with myself, which is acomplicated relationship, but
(10:53):
we're working on it.
We've learned that we preferjeans to sweatpants.
We've learned that we likesleeping in a little bit or
going back to bed.
We've learned that we will neveragain wear heels because we are
only comfortable in sneakers orflip flops.
So if you're in the middle of ashift or just stuck in the weird
space between what was andwhatever's next, same, I see
(11:16):
you.
You're not behind.
You're just figuring it out.
We're allowed to start messy.
We're allowed to becomesomething new and we're allowed
to still want a paycheck.
We're also allowed to be contentto have the only title for
ourselves right now, be Mom, andthat works for me.
Until next time, I'm Elissa, andthis is, I get it from my mom.
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