November 24, 2025 • 51 mins
When truth is stolen, healing begins with reclaiming your story—one memory, one voice, one fearless step at a time.
What happens when a child is abducted by a parent and raised in a world of control and religious manipulation? Dawn McCarty’s nightmare began at age four when her mother kidnapped her, erased her identity, and filled her life with fear and lies. Subjected to psychological abuse and weaponized Mormon theology, Dawn was taught to obey blindly and fear her real father. By eight, she was adopted by her stepfather and sealed to her abductor in temple rituals. At 15, she was groomed under the guise of religious trust.
After escaping at 16, Dawn rebuilt her life. Now a senior cybersecurity analyst with over 20 years of experience, she helps families protect children online, driven by her own trauma. Her most powerful chapter came 44 years later—reuniting with her biological father. Her story is one of survival, truth, and unbreakable spirit.
Connect with Dawn:
Learn more about my memoir & advocacy site: Sealed To My Abductor
Subscribe to my blog & newsletter: Unsealed Press on Substack
Watch my story (including my reunification with my father): YouTube Channel
Connect with Jen:
I Need Blue now has a new home at The Healing in Sharing! Visit thehealinginsharing.com to explore Round Chair Conversations, all relevant I Need Blue content, and ways to support the mission of sharing stories that inspire hope and resilience.
By sharing the hidden lines of our stories, we remind each other we are not alone — together, we step out of hiding and into healing.
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Memoir: Why I Survived, by Jennifer Lee on Amazon
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Imagine when you share your darkest hours they
become someone else's light.
I'm Jennifer Lee, a globalcommunity storyteller, host,
author and survivor, guiding youthrough genuine, unfiltered
conversations.
Together we break the silence,shatter stigma and amplify
(00:34):
voices that need to be heard.
Each episode stands as atestament to survival, healing
and reclaiming your power.
Listen to I Need Blue on ApplePodcasts, spotify, youtube or
your favorite platform.
Learn more at wwwineedbluenet.
(01:00):
Trigger warning I Need Blueshares real-life stories of
trauma, violence and abuse meantto empower and support.
Please take care of yourselfand ask for help if needed.
Now let's begin today's story.
(01:21):
The waves rocked the houseboatgently.
Side to side, a small girl,just four years old, sat her
wide eyes scanning theunfamiliar horizon.
She turned to the woman besideher, her mother, and asked in a
quiet voice Where's my dad?
(01:43):
Her mother frowned and grewagitated.
Dawn didn't know she had justasked a dangerous question.
She didn't know that the flight, the strange boat and the
sudden disappearance ofeverything familiar had a dark
purpose.
She had been taken.
She had been taken Over time.
(02:04):
Her new reality was rewritten.
Her stepfather, a stranger,adopted her at age eight.
She was told to call him Daddy.
The name that once meantcomfort and safety now belong to
someone else and the memory ofher real father.
They tried to erase it.
(02:25):
Behind the polished facade of adevout Mormon household, dawn's
world became a prison of control, emotional manipulation,
psychological torment and abelief system weaponized against
her developing mind.
Developing mind she was taughtobedience not love, silence not
(02:47):
truth, survival not freedom.
For decades, she believed thisis all there was, that maybe she
had imagined the love of thefather she once knew.
But the truth never dies.
It waits.
A decade ago, dawn stoppedserving the church that had
(03:07):
served as a veil for hersuffering.
She entered therapy and, forthe first time, gave her pain a
name Child psychological abuserelated to abduction and
parental alienation.
She began to reclaim her voiceand then her story and the
miracle 44 years after beingstolen from him, dawn was
(03:34):
reunited with her father.
I am honored to welcome my guesttoday, dawn McCarty.
She is a senior cybersecurityanalyst, founder of Securing
Everything and a passionateadvocate for digital safety, who
empowers families, survivorsand small businesses to protect
(03:56):
themselves in the online world.
With over 20 years ofexperience and a trauma-informed
approach, she exposes hiddenthreats like grooming,
catfishing scams and identitytheft issues often overlooked in
mainstream cybersecurity,through her predator prevention
(04:17):
protocol, safe methodology anddigital safe zones academy.
Dawn equips everyday peoplewith practical tools to fight
cybercrime and abuse.
She is also the author of theupcoming true-life thriller
Sealed to my Abductor, aharrowing story of child
(04:39):
abduction, violence and theweaponization of Mormon religion
, amplifying her mission toshine light on the darkest
corners of both the digital andreal world.
Dawn, thank you so much forbeing here today, sharing your
journey with us and a lot ofvaluable lessons so other
(05:02):
families don't have toexperience what you did.
Dawn, thank you for being myguest today and welcome to the I
Need Blue podcast.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I'm so excited to be here to talk about this.
It's very important issues forchildren today and the children
of our future.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Absolutely, and parental alienation is a topic I
had talked about in the past,but your situation is very
different from that one, and letme first say that I have been
following you on LinkedIn and Idefinitely am going to put that
in the show notes.
The information you share andhow you share it is so
(05:42):
intriguing.
It captures my attention everytime.
So thank you.
Oh good, that's great feedback.
Thank you, I love that.
Yeah, of course.
Of course, there are so manylayers to your story, so at four
you're taken.
What did life look like?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
It starts back then with this crime of abduction.
Nothing was familiar.
The only thing I knew was thatmy name was Dawn and this was my
mom.
I had a new house, a new bed.
I didn't even have the only theclothes that I was wearing and
I don't even know if I still hadthose, so nothing was familiar
(06:24):
in this new.
So to me it was an instanttwilight zone and an identity
crisis.
But when they brought me intoColorado, I had a new stepsister
who was six years older than meand she hated me, calling her
dad, daddy.
That was her dad, and who isthis booger, snot-faced child
(06:46):
coming into my world and tryingto claim her?
You know, he is her daddy.
So there was a lot of violenceover the next eight years where
severe violence and then the bigone was when I was in sixth
grade.
She graduated from high school,she was about to go to college
(07:07):
that next fall and she strangledme and I nearly died from that,
wow.
But our parents pulled in thedriveway just in time for her to
snap out of it.
I call her my demon.
I go into that in the bookbecause she morphed into
something that most other peopledidn't see but I saw quite
(07:29):
often and when she saw them pullinto the driveway she snapped
out of that and dropped me,saving life-saving breath, and
was able to scramble, get, tryto get to my feet and run.
I just ran.
(07:52):
I ran to my friend's house andI hid behind their couch for
hours.
I would not come out and theydon't know what's going on.
They just know I just come intotheir house and was hiding
behind a couch and when I waseight my step-sister and I fly
off to Florida visit mygrandmother.
Was that your biological?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
grandmother.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
My biological her mother.
I'd been going there since Iwas six years old.
That was the first thing shestarted doing after the
abduction was to send me there.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
So the grandmother didn't say anything?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
No, she didn't.
She didn't like my dad, so shewas fine with it.
Every now and then mystepsister would be sent with me
, which she loved.
She absolutely loved that.
So now we're in Florida whilethey're going through this
adoption process, so I'm noteven in the room when this
(08:39):
happens and they get it approvedwithout the investigation.
Theyived the 60-day mandatorystate statute investigation
because she had someone ready tostep in and take over, and that
was.
All it took was that somebodywas willing to step in, and
(09:02):
that's where my problem lieswith these adoptions is that he
looked the part but he neverstepped in.
He wasn't my dad, who loved meunconditionally.
He was a father figure and heput a roof over my head.
But there was a lot more thanthat.
Now I'm adopted, my name hadalready been changed from the
(09:24):
time they abducted me.
I mean, I have an airplaneticket that I found in my
storage inheritance that has myname as his last name instead of
Don McCarty.
Before he even legally adoptedme, they had already changed my
name, so when they adopted me, Ididn't even notice any change.
(09:47):
That's when they decided theywanted to join a church.
Their names had been turnedinto the Mormon church, so now,
all of a sudden, we havemissionaries visiting.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
He was not raised in this religion.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
We were not religious at all, at least not that I
remember.
Dad was in the foster system,aged out at 18.
He didn't have a religion thatI know of.
So when I was younger, I can'tremember anything being
mentioned about God.
We didn't pray, we didn't doany of that.
As we're going through thesemissionary lessons, the
(10:21):
missionaries, when they finallygot us to agree to be baptized,
they're asking us well, do youbelieve this church is true?
And I'm like okay, I mean, I'ma hostage, indoctrinated child.
I know what I'm expected to do.
I know I'm expected to go alongwith whatever it is that they
want, with what my captor wants,and agree.
So it didn't matter if I reallybelieved in Joseph Smith, it
(10:45):
didn't matter that I read theBook of Mormon or not.
My stepfather did.
And he decided we're joiningthis church and we're going to
be baptized on my birthday.
And my mom's like I don't knowif I have totally believed in
this yet.
And he goes don't worry aboutit, you will Wow believed in
this yet and he goes oh, don'tworry about it, you will Wow.
(11:09):
So she's now agreeing to jointhe church and she hasn't even
determined for herself if shebelieves that this is the one
true church on the face of theplanet.
So all I heard was, when you'rebaptized, you go into this big
bathtub and I'm like sign me up,I'm in, what do you need?
I'm all over that.
So they show pictures of it.
They have like these flip cardsback then where they just show
(11:31):
up these cards with the picturesof stuff on it.
And I saw that huge bathtub andI thought, oh, I mean, I'm a
kid that used to play in thegutters in the rain.
You know, I love just beingable to play in a tub.
I love just being able to playin a tub.
So I saw that it was like theking of tubs.
We're signed up to be baptizedon his birthday, which was a
(11:52):
Sunday.
They don't typically dobaptisms on Sundays.
Sundays is the Lord's Day.
So he fought this is the Lord'sDay, it is bringing someone
into the fold.
So he convinced that bishop toallow us to be baptized on the
Sunday.
So most of the time you get up,you go to church in the morning,
(12:12):
you go home, you have lunch,you rest, then you go back to
sacrament meeting later, partakeof the sacrament, you're done.
That swallows up your entireSunday.
We get baptized in between thesessions and then sacrament.
We had to get dressed into ourregular dresses and dry.
Our hair was still kind of wet.
But then we go into thesacrament meeting and we have to
(12:33):
sit in the front row and I'msitting here watching as they're
saying we have new members ofthe church.
They had to stand up and thenthey had.
My stepdad went first and theydo a prayer for confirming you a
member and the prayer is totell you to receive the Holy
Ghost.
And that's when you get theHoly Ghost and you live by that
(12:58):
belief of the God the Father andthe Holy Ghost, that belief of
the God the Father and the HolyGhost.
That's where Mormons are kindof different.
So then my mom went and then mystepsister went and then I went
.
There was an opening prayer,four prayers of confirmation,
then the two sacrament prayersbefore the meeting actually
(13:18):
started.
It took forever, but after thefour prayers the Lord has to
accept you as members.
So they're asked to confirm usas members and they have to
raise the right hand toacknowledge and accept us.
And anybody can disagree.
Of course that rarely everhappens.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
How many people were in the church?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
out of curiosity, would you say this was such a
small town it was Madras, oregon, and there was just a little
teeny chapel on the top of thishill.
So there's probably I don'tknow 100, 150 people, maybe at
the max as members.
I don't know if they were allthere that day.
It was a small chapel, but itwas probably not a full-fledged
(14:03):
ward.
It was probably small chapel,but it was probably not a
full-fledged ward.
It was probably called a branch.
It was a derivative of themainstream Mormon LDS religion,
as they like to be called today.
I was born and raised as Mormon, so that's what I say.
I'm going to be a hard habit tobreak.
We were Mormons.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
That's what we identified as what was the
craziest thing you can recallthat occurred.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Well, I was in what they called primary.
We have all these different agegroups and we joined the
primary session at first, wherewe sing all the songs and then
we split up into our age groupand have independent, age
appropriate type of lessonsright group and have independent
, age-appropriate type oflessons right.
(14:48):
Well, the songs that we'resinging are designed to
indoctrinate the young mind.
They're telling you things likefollow the prophet, follow the
prophet because he knows the way.
So we're singing these songs.
That's kind of confirming orreinforcing these beliefs as
young children.
Now, the youngest I everattended primary was eight years
old, so I didn't have thatthree to eight years old
(15:11):
timeframe of constantindoctrination and I was raised
without knowing any of this, soit was kind of a foreign concept
.
But I love singing the songsand one of my favorite songs
believe it or not and this is ahorrible song, but my favorite
song was the Book of MormonStories.
It had a beat To me, it wasenergetic and it was Book of
(15:36):
Mormon Stories that my teachertells to me all about the
Lamanites.
I can't believe.
I remember this.
In ancient history, long ago,our fathers came from far across
the sea.
Given this land if we liverighteously.
I can't believe.
I remember that After all, thistime I was eight years old and
(16:00):
now I don't want to tell you howold I am today, but I'm
definitely five decades old,almost.
So this song, because of mytrauma.
Background words are alwaysimportant to me because I had to
understand the underlyingmeaning in order to maintain
safety.
So I analyze what people sayand I also analyze what they
(16:23):
don't say.
So this is something that I'vebeen able to do my whole life,
just as from inheriting it fromthis childhood.
So if you look at the lyrics ofthe Book of Mormon, this is
stories that our teachers aretelling to us our primary
teachers and that how long agothe Nephites, who were in Israel
(16:46):
, jerusalem in that area, cameacross the sea in these like
submarine type ships and weregiven this land the United
States of America, north Americaif they lived righteously.
So, in other words, it didn'tmatter about all the people that
were already inhabiting thisland.
(17:08):
We came in as the superiorsaying we now own this land, but
there's no evidence of theNephites.
Just unbelievable what we aresinging and starting to believe
because we're singing it everySunday, the day that I was
sealed and we went to the myTurn on Earth play.
(17:29):
If I didn't already believe inany of this stuff, that first
year I was a member singingthese songs.
Going to that play showed meexactly what I needed to believe
and it was energizing, it wasfun, it was just like everything
I loved about these songs andthese people.
(17:52):
And Barbara, who's the maincharacter, is a spirit and she's
learning how she's going tocome to earth and get a body and
she had to make all thesechoices of right and wrong and
opposition.
And then there's Satan therebecause there was a war in
heaven.
So it goes through this war inheaven and it's played out
before me in this play.
(18:14):
That actually made sense to mynine-year-old mind.
That's what the war in heavenmeans.
Satan is the bad guy.
Satan is the bad guy.
No-transcript the adversary andget to the temple to be sealed
(18:38):
together for all time andeternity, which erases my father
in the afterlife, because Godwill not recognize him as my
father now, because I'm sealedto this death.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
So, basically, you had to be a part of this church,
if you will, in order to berighteous, Because if you were
not, you were like the devil.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
You would have been either a victim of that or
become possessed yourself.
There's a lot of Mormondoctrine that talks about demons
being around you at all times,just ready to take your body If
you give them an opportunity, ifyou watch porn, if you do
something that is illegal, ifyou enter a room that the Holy
(19:20):
Ghost won't want you to go into,the Holy Ghost leaves you and
stays outside, and you're nowvulnerable to anything that goes
on without the Holy Spirit withyou.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
It's a lot.
So let me ask you this Were youallowed to go to a public
school?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Were you allowed to have friends outside of the
religion?
Yeah, was there?
Abuse was never going to do.
They weren't going to spoil thechild.
She thinks she spoiled me, butI remember those wet spoons and
broken brushes over my butt.
I remember the belt bucklebecause she grabbed the wrong
end of the belt one day.
I remember those.
And then, on top of that, I hadmy stepsister beating me up,
kicking me with cowboy boots,strangling me.
(20:12):
There was so much abuse in thatfirst eight years until she
finally went to college and Ithought I'd finally be free.
But then I moved to Californiaand I'm in high school and I
have a whole differentexperience with the Mormon
church, where there was a lot ofjudgment, a lot of shaming, a
(20:36):
lot of actually like keeping Tom, kind of things that my cohorts
were doing during church camp,girls camp.
It's very embarrassing thingsthat took place.
And these are Mormons, theseare Christ-like people, the true
church of Christ, and this ishow they're behaving and I've
(20:57):
heard oh well, you know, peoplewill be people, not people that
claim to be the only true churchand live the life of Christ.
You don't get to say that yougot to live it.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Can you get out of the religion?
Let's say your mom wanted toleave.
Would she be able to leave it?
Speaker 2 (21:15):
would be very difficult, depending on the
level of mind, control the undueinfluence, because some people
don't have any problem leaving,they're just like gone, you're
not going to tell me anything,I'm out.
And then you have people thatare worried about what is their
spouse going to think?
What if they jeopardize theirchildren?
(21:36):
What if they are no longeraccepted?
Because the concept of a parentand a child is, it's her
responsibility to make sure Istay on the straight and narrow
and if I don't stay on thatstraight and narrow, she would
have to turn away from me inorder to maintain her salvation.
(21:56):
It makes it really hard toleave if you think your eternity
is going to be jeopardized, ifyou won't be able to make it to
the celestial kingdom because Ididn't parent good enough or I
wasn't the best spouse.
So there's a lot ofindoctrination and not to excuse
any of that abuse that happensin that scenario, because it's
(22:17):
atrocious, it's just terriblewith what this indoctrination
will make people do or whatpeople end up doing because of
that fear of leaving.
So a lot of people haven't left.
They'd rather stick it out thanrisk losing family.
So when I left, I left at 16.
(22:39):
And I basically I hung up thephone with the bishop and said
fuck off, excuse my language,but he was talking about
excommunicating me for rumors,and the problem is that, not
that they weren't true, theproblem was weren't true.
The problem was he had themmixed up, so what he said to me
(23:01):
was not true.
If you took this piece out ofthat one and this piece out of
that one, then you'd have astory that could be true, but
what you just said is not trueand therefore you don't know
shit.
So I slammed that phone downand I ended up bolting and
(23:21):
there's a lot that was going on.
My junior high school year wasso incredibly difficult because
I had the problems going on withthe church, the problems with
not keeping the law of chastitywhich, when you're baptized,
you're agreeing, at eight yearsold, that you're going to follow
this law of chastity.
(23:41):
Which, when you're baptized,you're agreeing, at eight years
old, that you're going to followthis law of chastity that you
don't even know what that means,right?
That could be someone's firstname, for all you know, right?
So what is the law of chastity?
(24:02):
I was going to be taken beforechurch disciplinary court and if
it was determined to be true,they were going to excommunicate
me as a 16-year-old.
In addition to that, my parentswere also groomed by a child
predator and they invited himinto our home because he saw me
working at the airport washingand waxing my stepfather's plane
(24:26):
, because he was getting readyto take a trip with the
executives.
They like the clean plane, helikes to make them happy, so he
would pay me something to go andclean this plane.
Something to go and clean thisplane.
And this predator was a pilotand he saw me out there in
shorts and a bathing suit and hestarts befriending my stepdad
Before you know it, my stepdadbeing the perpetual missionary
(24:50):
leader.
If you're a Mormon, that meansthat you are over the missionary
program for your ward and yourjob is to convert, convert,
convert, convert.
Either by you or by themissionaries You're to support
that conversion to bring morepeople into the church.
So he sees this as anopportunity.
If you know a predator's mind,they're going to adapt to
(25:13):
whatever it is you need them toadapt.
If you need them to play thisrole, they'll play that role.
If you need them to play thisrole, they'll play that role.
If you need them to act likethis, they'll do that.
So this guy knew that if hewanted to get close to me, he
needed to act like somebody thatwas interested in joining this
church in order to gain accessto me.
So he's saying, yeah, well, I'minterested in the lesson.
(25:36):
So he's invited over the houseto have people over the house
for dinner all the time.
There was nothing out of theordinary.
We had missionaries over, wehad investigators over.
It was nothing different.
It was just another meal to becooked and an extra plate to be
set.
So now this guy is sitting nextto me at my dinner table and
months go by he's talking to themissionaries and months go by
(25:58):
he's taking the.
You know, he's talking to themissionaries and he's just kind
of he's challenging them.
I remember him challenging themand asking them some of these
questions and he eventuallystarted talking about, well,
what happens after I get marriedor after I joined the church.
And they said, well, you know,you can find a spouse, you can
get married in the temple.
And they said, well, you haveto be a member for a year before
(26:19):
you can go to the temple.
And he's like what do I do?
For a whole year?
He's thinking he can marry mein the temple telling me I would
look pretty in a white gown,you picture being married in
that temple someday too.
And they said well, first youhave to go through the
priesthoods.
You need to become an Aaronicpriesthood holder, then you need
to become a priest, then you gointo being a Mephistic
(26:41):
priesthood holder and by thetime you do all of that and you
learn everything you need tolearn, then you'll be ready to
be married in the temple.
So my parents actually allowedhim to court me.
How old is he and how old areyou?
He's 22 and I'm 16, 15 at first.
I was 15 at first.
Wow, so 15 and 22, and then 16and 23.
(27:04):
And he hadn't said anything tome yet about any of this.
Neither have they.
But I just know, all of asudden his hands go, you know,
resting on top of my hand at thetable.
He'll touch my shoulder.
And this is desensitization,where that progressive stage of
touching, where these simplelittle gestures, and if nobody
(27:24):
flinches, then they take it tothe next level.
And when someone sees that allthe time and especially if
someone is becoming a friend oran investigator their guards are
down, they're not questioninganything.
This person is wholesome,they're coming into the light.
They're a good person if theywant to join this church.
So there's no guardrails at all.
(27:47):
So now I'm doing the dishes, I'mtaking plates into the kitchen,
I'm rinsing them off in thesink.
He comes up behind me with moredishes, saying I'd like to help
.
He has his hands on myshoulders at first.
Then there's a hand on the lowpart of my back and he's like
I'll be right back, your dadwants to talk to me.
So he's already making theseadvancements and none of us are
(28:09):
privy to what he's doing, thisgrooming tactic.
So it's happening in my ownhome and I don't even know
what's going on, and neither dothey, because this guy has good
intentions.
Right, he's going to become LDS.
So now he's convincing themthat he would love to be able to
(28:30):
get married in the temple andthat I would make a great wife.
Well, in the state ofCalifornia, with parents'
permission, you can get married.
So by the time he goes throughthat whole year, he has to do
all these things to becometemple worthy.
His intention wasn't toactually do any of this.
His intention is to separate meand get me out of the house so
(28:52):
he finally gets them to thepoint where he feels comfortable
enough to ask them if he couldtake me out.
He comes into the living roomand asks me and my mom is
standing right over, rightbehind him, where I can see her
over his shoulder and he saysI'd like to take you out for a
cup of tea and a slice of pie.
You can imagine what a teenagerthinks about a cup of tea and a
(29:15):
slice of pie.
I'm like I want to say dude, Idrink vodka, why would I?
But I couldn't because my momwas right there, right Right, I
live in the AZDC.
I'm not what.
What do you mean?
Slice of pie?
This is such a corny thing toask.
And my mom just loved this guy.
He played the piano, he sang,he helped her with her piano
(29:36):
playing.
She just absolutely loved thisguy.
So she's got this big grin onher face and I'm thinking oh my
God, this is a trick question,because I was often in these
positions of feeling like atrick question.
And he said cup of tea.
So my mind is racing for allthese different scenarios Like
why is he asking me this?
Why is she smiling?
And he says cup of tea.
(29:58):
Well, guess what the word ofwisdom says about Mormons we
don't drink coffee or tea.
So now my mind's going that'sit.
If I say I go, I'll be introuble because I'm agreeing to
go for tea.
So I look at this guy and I'mthinking the only thing that I
(30:18):
could come up with withoutfeeling like I would get
grounded for saying vodka oranything else I like.
I'm like dude, I listen to ACDC, I don't go out for pie.
And I ran out of the house andslammed the door.
That didn't stop him, though hekept coming over for a while.
I started having to invite myfriends, because I know I'm
thinking this guy is weird.
Why is he asking me out?
(30:39):
And so my mind I'm the teenager, but in my mind I'm having to
protect myself from a predatorbecause my parents aren't.
So now I'm taking the positionof the parent and I'm inviting
my own friends, my own age, tomy house so that I'm not alone
with this person and my parents,because that's dangerous.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Your parents.
I mean, they still wanted youto marry him or him court you.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Yeah, my mom told me he'll make a great son-in-law.
I'm like mom, he's so mucholder than me.
That's gross, I mean.
I was appalled by this and shewasn't.
She didn't think it wasanything wrong with this Now
adult Dawn, who profilespredators, would say if I left
the house that day, I may nothave ever returned.
(31:25):
We don't know.
If I wasn't, so like what theheck are you asking me?
And if I didn't say no or itdidn't run and bolt out of the
house, I could have easily gonewith him.
Thankfully, I had this twingeof something to feel right here.
That's a hypervigilant thatkicks in and you're having to
(31:46):
determine which scenario isgoing to keep me the safest.
I felt.
If I didn't feel like there wasa problem with the word T, I
would have gone with him.
I would have definitely gonewith him because that's what was
expected, right?
It wasn't because I wanted to.
She's standing behind him witha big grin on her face, which is
you're going to do this.
That's the lingo, that's thelanguage.
(32:08):
It's unspoken but it'sunderstood.
He eventually gave up and guesswhat?
He never did join the church.
Yeah, he's never interested inthat.
So all of this is going on atthe same time.
So all these layers arehappening.
I'm going through the problemswith the bishop I'm now dealing
with this guy, my parents sayingyou should go for this, and I'm
(32:29):
going through problems in thesecular world.
You know, I started hangingaround with the what the church
considers low lives, the peoplethat aren't members.
They do things they shouldn'tbe doing, like maybe potheads or
alcohol, you know, drinkingalcohol, partying.
I started hanging out withpeople that were in the LGBTQ
(32:50):
community and these peopledidn't judge me.
They let me be, they let me bewho I was.
And that was the special momentof kindness that I had from
these people that are supposedlyterrible, but they were kinder
than the people that I wasexperiencing at church.
(33:11):
Were you able to get out of yourhouse?
I spent a lot of time over atpeople's houses that I would
babysit for or clean house for,and I would stay for as long as
I could.
So one lady that I stayed atquite often she had three little
kids and her husband was oftengone traveling.
So at what point were you ableto move out, lady I was
(33:34):
babysitting, for I ended uphaving her drive me over to
where my cousin was staying so Icould pick up my duffel bag,
but also she's never tried pot.
So I ended up having her driveme over to where my cousin was
staying so I could pick up myduffel bag, but also she's never
tried pot.
So I picked up a joint, drovethat home.
Then we're just doing that andnext thing I know all hell is
breaking loose.
The world's crashing down aroundme.
Their house was undersurveillance.
(33:54):
There was a known drug housethat I just took her over to.
She was driving her husband'struck and he was called from
Oklahoma saying why is yourtruck at a known drug house
Flies home?
He walked in on her and her.
You know she was seeing someother guy and I'm now the target
of everything coming crashingdown.
(34:16):
I'm the one that narked on allmy friends and my cousins Like
I'm getting death threats atthis point.
Now the church is breathingdown my neck and I'm finally
like you know what?
Fuck all of you guys.
Again, excuse my language, butI'm out.
I can't live like this anymore.
This is too much and I told mymom I'm leaving.
So she bought me a one wayticket to Hawaii, which is where
(34:39):
, ironically, my sister wasstaying.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
What was your journey like after that?
How did you end up in thecareer that you are in?
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Ironically right Security.
I needed security.
Well, I, you know, I wentthrough bad relationships, got
married, had two kids, ended upleaving him, and then my kids
and I I mean, I'm a single momfor most of their lives and I
needed a career that I couldraise them in.
So I put myself through collegeand through computer school,
(35:10):
and that's how it all gotstarted.
One thing just led to the next.
I guess I just had this desireto be secure and then I ended up
getting two degrees in criminaljustice, ironically, and the
first one was the psychology ofa victim, and that was my focus,
was understanding the victim'spsychology.
So that's what started thewhole criminal justice, the
(35:35):
forensic stuff and mycybersecurity kind of all
wrapped into one.
And then 2020 came, and that'swhen my epiphany finally hit me,
when I realized we're sendingall these people home to use
their personal laptops to workfrom home.
In my research that year, Ifound that in the National
(35:57):
Center of Missing and ExploitedChildren had reported that there
was a 92% increase in callvolume for missing and exploited
children that year.
Wow, so that was huge.
I'm like why?
Why is there such a huge?
That's a huge jump.
So I wanted to know why.
And so I started thinking aboutit and started just kind of
(36:20):
doing some research and digging.
And I'm like, because we're allat home and we're all seeing
things, we're seeing things weweren't seeing before because we
are at work.
So, if you think about thingshappening for a reason not to
say that we deserved havingCOVID at all, because that was
horrific, never want to gothrough that again.
But it did expose this.
Because that was horrific.
Never want to go through thatagain.
(36:40):
But it did expose this.
It exposed this pathogen,another form of pathogen, of a
predator that is exploitingchildren.
And it took that for us torealize how bad it was.
And that's when I decided I wasgoing to start doing more of
this and protecting children.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
I think that's so great.
You went from not beingprotected to having to protect
yourself and now being able toprotect others.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
Now I'm able, I'm in that position, I have the lived
experience, I have four collegedegrees.
I have the work experience over25 years in information and
cybersecurity.
I'm able to combine all thosetogether and have a unique
perspective, and I see thingsthat other people don't.
And I see things that are notnormally accepted.
(37:27):
Other people think, oh no,that's not what I have a
different perspective of the wayI look at things.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Absolutely.
And in regards to preventionand awareness, what is like one
of the most important tips youcould give our audience in
regards to spotting this type ofbehavior and what to do with it
?
Speaker 2 (37:45):
It is so important for parents and caregivers and
that goes clear from a parent toa teacher, to family courts, to
mental health experts, toeducation.
You know, everybody needs to beable to spot these red flags
and determine where are thesedangers.
Because we're not sitting on aplayground anymore with a van or
(38:06):
some ugly looking dude hidingbehind a bush.
We're talking about yourneighbor, the normal looking
person, the nice guy.
Some women Creditors are niceguys.
This guy that was my creditorwas a pilot.
He looked normal.
He doesn't look like a scarylooking dude.
These are people that, if youhave a gut feeling, you need to
(38:26):
really think about it.
You need to think about why areyou getting this gut feeling?
We have this ability to havethat first impression.
We have the ability to havegood vibes or bad vibes.
You need to pay attention tothose.
That's the first thing.
Second thing is the internet isnot a playground, but we treat
it like one.
We think, okay, kids go play,give them their own devices and
(38:49):
say have at it.
Here's the thing.
If your kid is 16 years old andthey want to get a driver's
license in school, they'rerequired to have great grades,
so you have to have a B plusaverage, I think to get into
driver's education.
And then you spend a semesteror two learning about driving a
vehicle.
And then you get to practice ina car with an educator who's
(39:12):
teaching you what to do and howto do it.
You're going too fast, you needto slow down, you forgot to
stop, you need to use yourblinker, you know all these
things you're being trained todo to drive a 3,000 pound or
more vehicle.
And then you have to take atest to see if you actually can
remember and know how to drivethis without the educator.
(39:34):
So you take that test, you haveto pass it and then you get a
permit.
Right Now you have to drivewith another adult who has
licensed.
They have to be licensed.
You have to drive six months toanother year and then you can
get a license to drive on yourown.
We do not put any one of thosemechanisms or guardrails in
(39:57):
place when we give them accessto the internet.
We're doing all this for a3,000-pound vehicle.
The internet can be muchdeadlier, against the odds.
You're talking about cyberbullying.
You're talking about predators,catfish, scam artists there's
so many more opportunities fordanger online but we don't give
them the education.
(40:18):
We don't test their skills andwe don't give them any kind of
internship in joining theinternet.
So we were not prepared for this.
We did not have.
We have this technologyparenting gap.
They didn't have training fromtheir childhood to prepare them
for their children who haveaccess to the internet.
(40:41):
So there's this training gap.
So what we have to do is now goback and provide that kind of
training and expertise forparents who didn't learn
technology when they were kids.
You have to pick up the toolsyou have to protect your child
because they are now thetechnology experts.
They don't have the securityexpertise that you have.
(41:02):
It's a lot for me to keep upwith.
I keep thinking I'm going to dothis and I'm like, oh, that's
old.
Now I got to do this Threeweeks.
Something can be out of date.
So I am having to figure outhow to teach the fundamentals
and then how they can adapt towhat's changing.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Yep and AI.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
that'll be the next conversation, because that is
yeah, that is a big conversationsealed to my abductor is where
the book starts, which is when Iwas nine years old.
(41:42):
If you're watching on youtubeyou can see the background
behind me as an upside down orinverted Salt Lake City temple.
It's actually the reflectionpool that I've captured for the
book, because this is a memoirabout reflecting on my childhood
(42:03):
and the weaponization of theMormon religion.
So it's not a depiction of anykind of demonish or anything
like that.
It's about the reflection andstopping to go back and use
critical thinking and go throughand dissecting and deculting
everything.
I want to draw that to theattention of my prospective
(42:25):
readers, that this is a storyabout being raised Mormon as
well as being abducted, becausethey kind of go together in an
undue influence kind of culturalfamily dynamic that also was
Mormon.
So we start with flying intoSalt Lake City, going through a
massive winter storm, and therewere six other couples that were
(42:49):
supposed to go with us to thetemple in December of 1977.
And we kept being told theadversary is going to try and
stop you, it's going to doeverything it can to prevent you
from reaching the temple.
And one by one, those sixcouples canceled.
Somebody got sick, somebodyelse got in a car accident or
(43:11):
something like that, and so, oneby one, we were the only family
left to go to Salt Lake.
My stepfather he's a legalguardian, but I don't give him
any further title thanstepfather, than stepfather, and
(43:31):
there's a reason for that,which we go into in the book.
But my stepfather was a pilotand he was egotistical, very
prideful in his skills andabilities as a pilot.
He's that daredevil, that evilkind of spirit, and it gave him
an ego boost.
We were going to fly throughthat storm to Salt Lake, no
matter what, because theadversary was his challenge and
(43:54):
he was going to defeat theadversary by getting us to the
temple, even through this severestorm.
1977, the my Turn on Earth playmade its debut in Salt Lake
City.
So it was right there in thesame and we had tickets to go.
So we got to go see the veryfirst showing of my Turn on
Earth and then the next day wego to the temple and we're
(44:17):
sealed as a family for all timeand eternity.
It's really hard for survivorsand their left behind parents.
(44:39):
Because I finally found himafter 44 years in 2015, I'm
going to go ahead and set up aFacebook account.
I found a marriage license atone point that had a bride's
name on it, and when I foundthat on Facebook I found a
Patrick McCarty, which is.
There's thousands of PatrickMcCarty's out there, but on
(45:01):
Facebook I found one that hadhad a friend with that name and
I thought this has to be it.
So I was able to find him, findher Facebook has the other
inbox.
There's a secondary inbox forpeople that aren't connected.
That's where my messages weregoing.
So I was like, how am I going toget his attention?
(45:23):
So I reached out to my halfbrother, which I didn't know.
I didn't have any idea at thetime, but I finally thought, ok,
he must be a son.
So I said, hey, my name is Don,I'm looking for my biological
father, I'm wondering if youmight have any information about
this person.
And he's like yeah, I have asister named Don.
(45:45):
That was his response to me.
And I said he says but wehaven't seen her in a long time.
And I thought this can't beright.
So I said, well, I waskidnapped when I was 40.
He goes yeah, that's the storywe were told.
And all of a sudden I could justfeel I don't know if it was a
state of shock or whatever, butI almost started feeling dumb
(46:05):
and staring at the screen indisbelief of what I just read.
So I called my son and I'm likeread this and tell me if that's
what it's saying, what I thinkit's saying.
So he did, he goes yeah, Ifound your dad.
I went really.
So it was really quite shockingto have that moment.
So I went back to him and saiddo you think he'd be interested
(46:28):
in talking to me?
I wanted to be careful not todisrupt a whole family life, so
I didn't want to come in withdemands or anything.
Do you think he'd be interestedin talking to me?
He's like well, let me find out.
And within five minutes I hadmy dad's phone number and I sat
there staring at that number andthinking that's a Florida
number.
(46:48):
I was born in Florida.
I lived in Florida.
Little did we know which wefound out during this 2016, 2017
timeframe that we lived atfirst, before I got my own
divorce and left Florida andmoved to Colorado.
That my dad lived less than 30minutes away.
Wow, he was living in TarponSprings.
(47:10):
I was living in St Petersburg,florida.
I didn't know that.
So I left the state and went toColorado.
So there was about a two-yeartime frame that I was in
Colorado and then I moved backto Florida temporarily and I
lived in Tarpon Springs.
I lived less than four minutesaway from where they were living
(47:31):
and we didn't know it.
We had no idea that we wereliving within four minutes of
each other.
So it was aggravating to feelsuch a loss that's a huge loss
that I could have had access tomy dad from 1998, when they
moved there somewhere in thattimeframe I could have been
(47:53):
reunited with him that wholetime and yet I had to wait until
2016.
So it was really hard toinstantly become a father to a
daughter he didn't see grow upand for me to feel like the
daughter of a dad I can barelyremember.
(48:14):
There is a, not a conflict, butjust a huge gap Like how do we
become these people?
How do we even know we're theright people?
My mom and dad when we moved toCalifornia when I was six
months old, they worked forSammy Davis Jr and so we were
(48:34):
around him a lot.
We were at his house quitefrequently.
So when I found my dad the onlyway I could know for sure,
without demanding a DNA test,was to say what celebrity were
we around when I was a baby?
And he goes you mean Sammy?
And instantly we knew we didn'tneed a DNA test.
(48:56):
We knew we had the right people, because only my real dad would
know that answer.
That's when it hit us like holycow.
We finally found each other andwe had to learn how to be in
each other's lives.
And for me, I felt like I hadall these instant walls all of a
sudden, like all thatindoctrination and brainwashing
kept sneaking in, saying he'sdangerous.
(49:18):
And I'm like he doesn't sounddangerous.
So I'm having this battle in myown head.
He doesn't look dangerous.
He doesn't, you know, act likehe's dangerous.
When I'm around him, he'sloving, he's kind, he's got a
family, he's got sons.
His sons care about me, theywelcome me into the family.
How could he be dangerous?
So I'm battling myself and I'vegot almost like skin crawling
(49:40):
kind of reaction when he triesto reach out and touch me.
Like even just his hand on myshoulder would just make me go
out and touch me.
Like even just his hand on myshoulder would just make me go.
Whoa.
It felt so foreign in thebeginning.
It was really hard and I thinkthat's probably a complication,
that a lot of people who arereunited, they don't know how to
(50:01):
become the person they were andthat's one of my points in my
manifesto is you're not, You'restarting over, you're meeting
now and that's the person you'regetting to know.
The person you used to knowdoesn't come back because
they've changed, they've grown,they've been hurt, they've been
scarred, they went throughtrauma, they've had life
experiences.
He got remarried, he had threesons.
(50:24):
There were so many things thatchanged us along the way that
you cannot expect them to justbe daddy and dawn again.
You're starting over, you'remeeting now and that's the
person you're getting to knowdawn.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Thank you so much for everything you do to keep us
safe.
Thank you for having thecourage to come forward and
share your story and cannot waitfor your book to come out.
It's called Sealed to myAbductor.
The link for that book will bein the show notes.
I'm assuming it'll also beavailable on Amazon too.
Speaker 2 (51:03):
So when it's published, it will be yes.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Yep, perfect.
We'll keep everybody up to dateon when they can find it Okay.
Thank you so much for being myguest today on the I Need Blue.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
I loved it.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
You're so welcome.
This is Jen Lee, host of the INeed Blue podcast.
To learn anything andeverything about I Need Blue,
visit my website ineedbluenet.
And remember you, blue.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
Visit my website inadebluenet and remember you
are stronger than you think.
Until next time.
Imagine when you share your darkest hours they
become someone else's light.
I'm Jennifer Lee, a globalcommunity storyteller, host,
author and survivor, guiding youthrough genuine, unfiltered
conversations.
Together we break the silence,shatter stigma and amplify
(00:34):
voices that need to be heard.
Each episode stands as atestament to survival, healing
and reclaiming your power.
Listen to I Need Blue on ApplePodcasts, spotify, youtube or
your favorite platform.
Learn more at wwwineedbluenet.
(01:00):
Trigger warning I Need Blueshares real-life stories of
trauma, violence and abuse meantto empower and support.
Please take care of yourselfand ask for help if needed.
Now let's begin today's story.
(01:21):
The waves rocked the houseboatgently.
Side to side, a small girl,just four years old, sat her
wide eyes scanning theunfamiliar horizon.
She turned to the woman besideher, her mother, and asked in a
quiet voice Where's my dad?
(01:43):
Her mother frowned and grewagitated.
Dawn didn't know she had justasked a dangerous question.
She didn't know that the flight, the strange boat and the
sudden disappearance ofeverything familiar had a dark
purpose.
She had been taken.
She had been taken Over time.
(02:04):
Her new reality was rewritten.
Her stepfather, a stranger,adopted her at age eight.
She was told to call him Daddy.
The name that once meantcomfort and safety now belong to
someone else and the memory ofher real father.
They tried to erase it.
(02:25):
Behind the polished facade of adevout Mormon household, dawn's
world became a prison of control, emotional manipulation,
psychological torment and abelief system weaponized against
her developing mind.
Developing mind she was taughtobedience not love, silence not
(02:47):
truth, survival not freedom.
For decades, she believed thisis all there was, that maybe she
had imagined the love of thefather she once knew.
But the truth never dies.
It waits.
A decade ago, dawn stoppedserving the church that had
(03:07):
served as a veil for hersuffering.
She entered therapy and, forthe first time, gave her pain a
name Child psychological abuserelated to abduction and
parental alienation.
She began to reclaim her voiceand then her story and the
miracle 44 years after beingstolen from him, dawn was
(03:34):
reunited with her father.
I am honored to welcome my guesttoday, dawn McCarty.
She is a senior cybersecurityanalyst, founder of Securing
Everything and a passionateadvocate for digital safety, who
empowers families, survivorsand small businesses to protect
(03:56):
themselves in the online world.
With over 20 years ofexperience and a trauma-informed
approach, she exposes hiddenthreats like grooming,
catfishing scams and identitytheft issues often overlooked in
mainstream cybersecurity,through her predator prevention
(04:17):
protocol, safe methodology anddigital safe zones academy.
Dawn equips everyday peoplewith practical tools to fight
cybercrime and abuse.
She is also the author of theupcoming true-life thriller
Sealed to my Abductor, aharrowing story of child
(04:39):
abduction, violence and theweaponization of Mormon religion
, amplifying her mission toshine light on the darkest
corners of both the digital andreal world.
Dawn, thank you so much forbeing here today, sharing your
journey with us and a lot ofvaluable lessons so other
(05:02):
families don't have toexperience what you did.
Dawn, thank you for being myguest today and welcome to the I
Need Blue podcast.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I'm so excited to be here to talk about this.
It's very important issues forchildren today and the children
of our future.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Absolutely, and parental alienation is a topic I
had talked about in the past,but your situation is very
different from that one, and letme first say that I have been
following you on LinkedIn and Idefinitely am going to put that
in the show notes.
The information you share andhow you share it is so
(05:42):
intriguing.
It captures my attention everytime.
So thank you.
Oh good, that's great feedback.
Thank you, I love that.
Yeah, of course.
Of course, there are so manylayers to your story, so at four
you're taken.
What did life look like?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
It starts back then with this crime of abduction.
Nothing was familiar.
The only thing I knew was thatmy name was Dawn and this was my
mom.
I had a new house, a new bed.
I didn't even have the only theclothes that I was wearing and
I don't even know if I still hadthose, so nothing was familiar
(06:24):
in this new.
So to me it was an instanttwilight zone and an identity
crisis.
But when they brought me intoColorado, I had a new stepsister
who was six years older than meand she hated me, calling her
dad, daddy.
That was her dad, and who isthis booger, snot-faced child
(06:46):
coming into my world and tryingto claim her?
You know, he is her daddy.
So there was a lot of violenceover the next eight years where
severe violence and then the bigone was when I was in sixth
grade.
She graduated from high school,she was about to go to college
(07:07):
that next fall and she strangledme and I nearly died from that,
wow.
But our parents pulled in thedriveway just in time for her to
snap out of it.
I call her my demon.
I go into that in the bookbecause she morphed into
something that most other peopledidn't see but I saw quite
(07:29):
often and when she saw them pullinto the driveway she snapped
out of that and dropped me,saving life-saving breath, and
was able to scramble, get, tryto get to my feet and run.
I just ran.
(07:52):
I ran to my friend's house andI hid behind their couch for
hours.
I would not come out and theydon't know what's going on.
They just know I just come intotheir house and was hiding
behind a couch and when I waseight my step-sister and I fly
off to Florida visit mygrandmother.
Was that your biological?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
grandmother.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
My biological her mother.
I'd been going there since Iwas six years old.
That was the first thing shestarted doing after the
abduction was to send me there.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
So the grandmother didn't say anything?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
No, she didn't.
She didn't like my dad, so shewas fine with it.
Every now and then mystepsister would be sent with me
, which she loved.
She absolutely loved that.
So now we're in Florida whilethey're going through this
adoption process, so I'm noteven in the room when this
(08:39):
happens and they get it approvedwithout the investigation.
Theyived the 60-day mandatorystate statute investigation
because she had someone ready tostep in and take over, and that
was.
All it took was that somebodywas willing to step in, and
(09:02):
that's where my problem lieswith these adoptions is that he
looked the part but he neverstepped in.
He wasn't my dad, who loved meunconditionally.
He was a father figure and heput a roof over my head.
But there was a lot more thanthat.
Now I'm adopted, my name hadalready been changed from the
(09:24):
time they abducted me.
I mean, I have an airplaneticket that I found in my
storage inheritance that has myname as his last name instead of
Don McCarty.
Before he even legally adoptedme, they had already changed my
name, so when they adopted me, Ididn't even notice any change.
(09:47):
That's when they decided theywanted to join a church.
Their names had been turnedinto the Mormon church, so now,
all of a sudden, we havemissionaries visiting.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
He was not raised in this religion.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
We were not religious at all, at least not that I
remember.
Dad was in the foster system,aged out at 18.
He didn't have a religion thatI know of.
So when I was younger, I can'tremember anything being
mentioned about God.
We didn't pray, we didn't doany of that.
As we're going through thesemissionary lessons, the
(10:21):
missionaries, when they finallygot us to agree to be baptized,
they're asking us well, do youbelieve this church is true?
And I'm like okay, I mean, I'ma hostage, indoctrinated child.
I know what I'm expected to do.
I know I'm expected to go alongwith whatever it is that they
want, with what my captor wants,and agree.
So it didn't matter if I reallybelieved in Joseph Smith, it
(10:45):
didn't matter that I read theBook of Mormon or not.
My stepfather did.
And he decided we're joiningthis church and we're going to
be baptized on my birthday.
And my mom's like I don't knowif I have totally believed in
this yet.
And he goes don't worry aboutit, you will Wow believed in
this yet and he goes oh, don'tworry about it, you will Wow.
(11:09):
So she's now agreeing to jointhe church and she hasn't even
determined for herself if shebelieves that this is the one
true church on the face of theplanet.
So all I heard was, when you'rebaptized, you go into this big
bathtub and I'm like sign me up,I'm in, what do you need?
I'm all over that.
So they show pictures of it.
They have like these flip cardsback then where they just show
(11:31):
up these cards with the picturesof stuff on it.
And I saw that huge bathtub andI thought, oh, I mean, I'm a
kid that used to play in thegutters in the rain.
You know, I love just beingable to play in a tub.
I love just being able to playin a tub.
So I saw that it was like theking of tubs.
We're signed up to be baptizedon his birthday, which was a
(11:52):
Sunday.
They don't typically dobaptisms on Sundays.
Sundays is the Lord's Day.
So he fought this is the Lord'sDay, it is bringing someone
into the fold.
So he convinced that bishop toallow us to be baptized on the
Sunday.
So most of the time you get up,you go to church in the morning,
(12:12):
you go home, you have lunch,you rest, then you go back to
sacrament meeting later, partakeof the sacrament, you're done.
That swallows up your entireSunday.
We get baptized in between thesessions and then sacrament.
We had to get dressed into ourregular dresses and dry.
Our hair was still kind of wet.
But then we go into thesacrament meeting and we have to
(12:33):
sit in the front row and I'msitting here watching as they're
saying we have new members ofthe church.
They had to stand up and thenthey had.
My stepdad went first and theydo a prayer for confirming you a
member and the prayer is totell you to receive the Holy
Ghost.
And that's when you get theHoly Ghost and you live by that
(12:58):
belief of the God the Father andthe Holy Ghost, that belief of
the God the Father and the HolyGhost.
That's where Mormons are kindof different.
So then my mom went and then mystepsister went and then I went
.
There was an opening prayer,four prayers of confirmation,
then the two sacrament prayersbefore the meeting actually
(13:18):
started.
It took forever, but after thefour prayers the Lord has to
accept you as members.
So they're asked to confirm usas members and they have to
raise the right hand toacknowledge and accept us.
And anybody can disagree.
Of course that rarely everhappens.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
How many people were in the church?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
out of curiosity, would you say this was such a
small town it was Madras, oregon, and there was just a little
teeny chapel on the top of thishill.
So there's probably I don'tknow 100, 150 people, maybe at
the max as members.
I don't know if they were allthere that day.
It was a small chapel, but itwas probably not a full-fledged
(14:03):
ward.
It was probably small chapel,but it was probably not a
full-fledged ward.
It was probably called a branch.
It was a derivative of themainstream Mormon LDS religion,
as they like to be called today.
I was born and raised as Mormon, so that's what I say.
I'm going to be a hard habit tobreak.
We were Mormons.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
That's what we identified as what was the
craziest thing you can recallthat occurred.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Well, I was in what they called primary.
We have all these different agegroups and we joined the
primary session at first, wherewe sing all the songs and then
we split up into our age groupand have independent, age
appropriate type of lessonsright group and have independent
, age-appropriate type oflessons right.
(14:48):
Well, the songs that we'resinging are designed to
indoctrinate the young mind.
They're telling you things likefollow the prophet, follow the
prophet because he knows the way.
So we're singing these songs.
That's kind of confirming orreinforcing these beliefs as
young children.
Now, the youngest I everattended primary was eight years
old, so I didn't have thatthree to eight years old
(15:11):
timeframe of constantindoctrination and I was raised
without knowing any of this, soit was kind of a foreign concept
.
But I love singing the songsand one of my favorite songs
believe it or not and this is ahorrible song, but my favorite
song was the Book of MormonStories.
It had a beat To me, it wasenergetic and it was Book of
(15:36):
Mormon Stories that my teachertells to me all about the
Lamanites.
I can't believe.
I remember this.
In ancient history, long ago,our fathers came from far across
the sea.
Given this land if we liverighteously.
I can't believe.
I remember that After all, thistime I was eight years old and
(16:00):
now I don't want to tell you howold I am today, but I'm
definitely five decades old,almost.
So this song, because of mytrauma.
Background words are alwaysimportant to me because I had to
understand the underlyingmeaning in order to maintain
safety.
So I analyze what people sayand I also analyze what they
(16:23):
don't say.
So this is something that I'vebeen able to do my whole life,
just as from inheriting it fromthis childhood.
So if you look at the lyrics ofthe Book of Mormon, this is
stories that our teachers aretelling to us our primary
teachers and that how long agothe Nephites, who were in Israel
(16:46):
, jerusalem in that area, cameacross the sea in these like
submarine type ships and weregiven this land the United
States of America, north Americaif they lived righteously.
So, in other words, it didn'tmatter about all the people that
were already inhabiting thisland.
(17:08):
We came in as the superiorsaying we now own this land, but
there's no evidence of theNephites.
Just unbelievable what we aresinging and starting to believe
because we're singing it everySunday, the day that I was
sealed and we went to the myTurn on Earth play.
(17:29):
If I didn't already believe inany of this stuff, that first
year I was a member singingthese songs.
Going to that play showed meexactly what I needed to believe
and it was energizing, it wasfun, it was just like everything
I loved about these songs andthese people.
(17:52):
And Barbara, who's the maincharacter, is a spirit and she's
learning how she's going tocome to earth and get a body and
she had to make all thesechoices of right and wrong and
opposition.
And then there's Satan therebecause there was a war in
heaven.
So it goes through this war inheaven and it's played out
before me in this play.
(18:14):
That actually made sense to mynine-year-old mind.
That's what the war in heavenmeans.
Satan is the bad guy.
Satan is the bad guy.
No-transcript the adversary andget to the temple to be sealed
(18:38):
together for all time andeternity, which erases my father
in the afterlife, because Godwill not recognize him as my
father now, because I'm sealedto this death.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
So, basically, you had to be a part of this church,
if you will, in order to berighteous, Because if you were
not, you were like the devil.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
You would have been either a victim of that or
become possessed yourself.
There's a lot of Mormondoctrine that talks about demons
being around you at all times,just ready to take your body If
you give them an opportunity, ifyou watch porn, if you do
something that is illegal, ifyou enter a room that the Holy
(19:20):
Ghost won't want you to go into,the Holy Ghost leaves you and
stays outside, and you're nowvulnerable to anything that goes
on without the Holy Spirit withyou.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
It's a lot.
So let me ask you this Were youallowed to go to a public
school?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Were you allowed to have friends outside of the
religion?
Yeah, was there?
Abuse was never going to do.
They weren't going to spoil thechild.
She thinks she spoiled me, butI remember those wet spoons and
broken brushes over my butt.
I remember the belt bucklebecause she grabbed the wrong
end of the belt one day.
I remember those.
And then, on top of that, I hadmy stepsister beating me up,
kicking me with cowboy boots,strangling me.
(20:12):
There was so much abuse in thatfirst eight years until she
finally went to college and Ithought I'd finally be free.
But then I moved to Californiaand I'm in high school and I
have a whole differentexperience with the Mormon
church, where there was a lot ofjudgment, a lot of shaming, a
(20:36):
lot of actually like keeping Tom, kind of things that my cohorts
were doing during church camp,girls camp.
It's very embarrassing thingsthat took place.
And these are Mormons, theseare Christ-like people, the true
church of Christ, and this ishow they're behaving and I've
(20:57):
heard oh well, you know, peoplewill be people, not people that
claim to be the only true churchand live the life of Christ.
You don't get to say that yougot to live it.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Can you get out of the religion?
Let's say your mom wanted toleave.
Would she be able to leave it?
Speaker 2 (21:15):
would be very difficult, depending on the
level of mind, control the undueinfluence, because some people
don't have any problem leaving,they're just like gone, you're
not going to tell me anything,I'm out.
And then you have people thatare worried about what is their
spouse going to think?
What if they jeopardize theirchildren?
(21:36):
What if they are no longeraccepted?
Because the concept of a parentand a child is, it's her
responsibility to make sure Istay on the straight and narrow
and if I don't stay on thatstraight and narrow, she would
have to turn away from me inorder to maintain her salvation.
(21:56):
It makes it really hard toleave if you think your eternity
is going to be jeopardized, ifyou won't be able to make it to
the celestial kingdom because Ididn't parent good enough or I
wasn't the best spouse.
So there's a lot ofindoctrination and not to excuse
any of that abuse that happensin that scenario, because it's
(22:17):
atrocious, it's just terriblewith what this indoctrination
will make people do or whatpeople end up doing because of
that fear of leaving.
So a lot of people haven't left.
They'd rather stick it out thanrisk losing family.
So when I left, I left at 16.
(22:39):
And I basically I hung up thephone with the bishop and said
fuck off, excuse my language,but he was talking about
excommunicating me for rumors,and the problem is that, not
that they weren't true, theproblem was weren't true.
The problem was he had themmixed up, so what he said to me
(23:01):
was not true.
If you took this piece out ofthat one and this piece out of
that one, then you'd have astory that could be true, but
what you just said is not trueand therefore you don't know
shit.
So I slammed that phone downand I ended up bolting and
(23:21):
there's a lot that was going on.
My junior high school year wasso incredibly difficult because
I had the problems going on withthe church, the problems with
not keeping the law of chastitywhich, when you're baptized,
you're agreeing, at eight yearsold, that you're going to follow
this law of chastity.
(23:41):
Which, when you're baptized,you're agreeing, at eight years
old, that you're going to followthis law of chastity that you
don't even know what that means,right?
That could be someone's firstname, for all you know, right?
So what is the law of chastity?
(24:02):
I was going to be taken beforechurch disciplinary court and if
it was determined to be true,they were going to excommunicate
me as a 16-year-old.
In addition to that, my parentswere also groomed by a child
predator and they invited himinto our home because he saw me
working at the airport washingand waxing my stepfather's plane
(24:26):
, because he was getting readyto take a trip with the
executives.
They like the clean plane, helikes to make them happy, so he
would pay me something to go andclean this plane.
Something to go and clean thisplane.
And this predator was a pilotand he saw me out there in
shorts and a bathing suit and hestarts befriending my stepdad
Before you know it, my stepdadbeing the perpetual missionary
(24:50):
leader.
If you're a Mormon, that meansthat you are over the missionary
program for your ward and yourjob is to convert, convert,
convert, convert.
Either by you or by themissionaries You're to support
that conversion to bring morepeople into the church.
So he sees this as anopportunity.
If you know a predator's mind,they're going to adapt to
(25:13):
whatever it is you need them toadapt.
If you need them to play thisrole, they'll play that role.
If you need them to play thisrole, they'll play that role.
If you need them to act likethis, they'll do that.
So this guy knew that if hewanted to get close to me, he
needed to act like somebody thatwas interested in joining this
church in order to gain accessto me.
So he's saying, yeah, well, I'minterested in the lesson.
(25:36):
So he's invited over the houseto have people over the house
for dinner all the time.
There was nothing out of theordinary.
We had missionaries over, wehad investigators over.
It was nothing different.
It was just another meal to becooked and an extra plate to be
set.
So now this guy is sitting nextto me at my dinner table and
months go by he's talking to themissionaries and months go by
(25:58):
he's taking the.
You know, he's talking to themissionaries and he's just kind
of he's challenging them.
I remember him challenging themand asking them some of these
questions and he eventuallystarted talking about, well,
what happens after I get marriedor after I joined the church.
And they said, well, you know,you can find a spouse, you can
get married in the temple.
And they said, well, you haveto be a member for a year before
(26:19):
you can go to the temple.
And he's like what do I do?
For a whole year?
He's thinking he can marry mein the temple telling me I would
look pretty in a white gown,you picture being married in
that temple someday too.
And they said well, first youhave to go through the
priesthoods.
You need to become an Aaronicpriesthood holder, then you need
to become a priest, then you gointo being a Mephistic
(26:41):
priesthood holder and by thetime you do all of that and you
learn everything you need tolearn, then you'll be ready to
be married in the temple.
So my parents actually allowedhim to court me.
How old is he and how old areyou?
He's 22 and I'm 16, 15 at first.
I was 15 at first.
Wow, so 15 and 22, and then 16and 23.
(27:04):
And he hadn't said anything tome yet about any of this.
Neither have they.
But I just know, all of asudden his hands go, you know,
resting on top of my hand at thetable.
He'll touch my shoulder.
And this is desensitization,where that progressive stage of
touching, where these simplelittle gestures, and if nobody
(27:24):
flinches, then they take it tothe next level.
And when someone sees that allthe time and especially if
someone is becoming a friend oran investigator their guards are
down, they're not questioninganything.
This person is wholesome,they're coming into the light.
They're a good person if theywant to join this church.
So there's no guardrails at all.
(27:47):
So now I'm doing the dishes, I'mtaking plates into the kitchen,
I'm rinsing them off in thesink.
He comes up behind me with moredishes, saying I'd like to help
.
He has his hands on myshoulders at first.
Then there's a hand on the lowpart of my back and he's like
I'll be right back, your dadwants to talk to me.
So he's already making theseadvancements and none of us are
(28:09):
privy to what he's doing, thisgrooming tactic.
So it's happening in my ownhome and I don't even know
what's going on, and neither dothey, because this guy has good
intentions.
Right, he's going to become LDS.
So now he's convincing themthat he would love to be able to
(28:30):
get married in the temple andthat I would make a great wife.
Well, in the state ofCalifornia, with parents'
permission, you can get married.
So by the time he goes throughthat whole year, he has to do
all these things to becometemple worthy.
His intention wasn't toactually do any of this.
His intention is to separate meand get me out of the house so
(28:52):
he finally gets them to thepoint where he feels comfortable
enough to ask them if he couldtake me out.
He comes into the living roomand asks me and my mom is
standing right over, rightbehind him, where I can see her
over his shoulder and he saysI'd like to take you out for a
cup of tea and a slice of pie.
You can imagine what a teenagerthinks about a cup of tea and a
(29:15):
slice of pie.
I'm like I want to say dude, Idrink vodka, why would I?
But I couldn't because my momwas right there, right Right, I
live in the AZDC.
I'm not what.
What do you mean?
Slice of pie?
This is such a corny thing toask.
And my mom just loved this guy.
He played the piano, he sang,he helped her with her piano
(29:36):
playing.
She just absolutely loved thisguy.
So she's got this big grin onher face and I'm thinking oh my
God, this is a trick question,because I was often in these
positions of feeling like atrick question.
And he said cup of tea.
So my mind is racing for allthese different scenarios Like
why is he asking me this?
Why is she smiling?
And he says cup of tea.
(29:58):
Well, guess what the word ofwisdom says about Mormons we
don't drink coffee or tea.
So now my mind's going that'sit.
If I say I go, I'll be introuble because I'm agreeing to
go for tea.
So I look at this guy and I'mthinking the only thing that I
(30:18):
could come up with withoutfeeling like I would get
grounded for saying vodka oranything else I like.
I'm like dude, I listen to ACDC, I don't go out for pie.
And I ran out of the house andslammed the door.
That didn't stop him, though hekept coming over for a while.
I started having to invite myfriends, because I know I'm
thinking this guy is weird.
Why is he asking me out?
(30:39):
And so my mind I'm the teenager, but in my mind I'm having to
protect myself from a predatorbecause my parents aren't.
So now I'm taking the positionof the parent and I'm inviting
my own friends, my own age, tomy house so that I'm not alone
with this person and my parents,because that's dangerous.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Your parents.
I mean, they still wanted youto marry him or him court you.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Yeah, my mom told me he'll make a great son-in-law.
I'm like mom, he's so mucholder than me.
That's gross, I mean.
I was appalled by this and shewasn't.
She didn't think it wasanything wrong with this Now
adult Dawn, who profilespredators, would say if I left
the house that day, I may nothave ever returned.
(31:25):
We don't know.
If I wasn't, so like what theheck are you asking me?
And if I didn't say no or itdidn't run and bolt out of the
house, I could have easily gonewith him.
Thankfully, I had this twingeof something to feel right here.
That's a hypervigilant thatkicks in and you're having to
(31:46):
determine which scenario isgoing to keep me the safest.
I felt.
If I didn't feel like there wasa problem with the word T, I
would have gone with him.
I would have definitely gonewith him because that's what was
expected, right?
It wasn't because I wanted to.
She's standing behind him witha big grin on her face, which is
you're going to do this.
That's the lingo, that's thelanguage.
(32:08):
It's unspoken but it'sunderstood.
He eventually gave up and guesswhat?
He never did join the church.
Yeah, he's never interested inthat.
So all of this is going on atthe same time.
So all these layers arehappening.
I'm going through the problemswith the bishop I'm now dealing
with this guy, my parents sayingyou should go for this, and I'm
(32:29):
going through problems in thesecular world.
You know, I started hangingaround with the what the church
considers low lives, the peoplethat aren't members.
They do things they shouldn'tbe doing, like maybe potheads or
alcohol, you know, drinkingalcohol, partying.
I started hanging out withpeople that were in the LGBTQ
(32:50):
community and these peopledidn't judge me.
They let me be, they let me bewho I was.
And that was the special momentof kindness that I had from
these people that are supposedlyterrible, but they were kinder
than the people that I wasexperiencing at church.
(33:11):
Were you able to get out of yourhouse?
I spent a lot of time over atpeople's houses that I would
babysit for or clean house for,and I would stay for as long as
I could.
So one lady that I stayed atquite often she had three little
kids and her husband was oftengone traveling.
So at what point were you ableto move out, lady I was
(33:34):
babysitting, for I ended uphaving her drive me over to
where my cousin was staying so Icould pick up my duffel bag,
but also she's never tried pot.
So I ended up having her driveme over to where my cousin was
staying so I could pick up myduffel bag, but also she's never
tried pot.
So I picked up a joint, drovethat home.
Then we're just doing that andnext thing I know all hell is
breaking loose.
The world's crashing down aroundme.
Their house was undersurveillance.
(33:54):
There was a known drug housethat I just took her over to.
She was driving her husband'struck and he was called from
Oklahoma saying why is yourtruck at a known drug house
Flies home?
He walked in on her and her.
You know she was seeing someother guy and I'm now the target
of everything coming crashingdown.
(34:16):
I'm the one that narked on allmy friends and my cousins Like
I'm getting death threats atthis point.
Now the church is breathingdown my neck and I'm finally
like you know what?
Fuck all of you guys.
Again, excuse my language, butI'm out.
I can't live like this anymore.
This is too much and I told mymom I'm leaving.
So she bought me a one wayticket to Hawaii, which is where
(34:39):
, ironically, my sister wasstaying.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
What was your journey like after that?
How did you end up in thecareer that you are in?
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Ironically right Security.
I needed security.
Well, I, you know, I wentthrough bad relationships, got
married, had two kids, ended upleaving him, and then my kids
and I I mean, I'm a single momfor most of their lives and I
needed a career that I couldraise them in.
So I put myself through collegeand through computer school,
(35:10):
and that's how it all gotstarted.
One thing just led to the next.
I guess I just had this desireto be secure and then I ended up
getting two degrees in criminaljustice, ironically, and the
first one was the psychology ofa victim, and that was my focus,
was understanding the victim'spsychology.
So that's what started thewhole criminal justice, the
(35:35):
forensic stuff and mycybersecurity kind of all
wrapped into one.
And then 2020 came, and that'swhen my epiphany finally hit me,
when I realized we're sendingall these people home to use
their personal laptops to workfrom home.
In my research that year, Ifound that in the National
(35:57):
Center of Missing and ExploitedChildren had reported that there
was a 92% increase in callvolume for missing and exploited
children that year.
Wow, so that was huge.
I'm like why?
Why is there such a huge?
That's a huge jump.
So I wanted to know why.
And so I started thinking aboutit and started just kind of
(36:20):
doing some research and digging.
And I'm like, because we're allat home and we're all seeing
things, we're seeing things weweren't seeing before because we
are at work.
So, if you think about thingshappening for a reason not to
say that we deserved havingCOVID at all, because that was
horrific, never want to gothrough that again.
But it did expose this.
Because that was horrific.
Never want to go through thatagain.
(36:40):
But it did expose this.
It exposed this pathogen,another form of pathogen, of a
predator that is exploitingchildren.
And it took that for us torealize how bad it was.
And that's when I decided I wasgoing to start doing more of
this and protecting children.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
I think that's so great.
You went from not beingprotected to having to protect
yourself and now being able toprotect others.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
Now I'm able, I'm in that position, I have the lived
experience, I have four collegedegrees.
I have the work experience over25 years in information and
cybersecurity.
I'm able to combine all thosetogether and have a unique
perspective, and I see thingsthat other people don't.
And I see things that are notnormally accepted.
(37:27):
Other people think, oh no,that's not what I have a
different perspective of the wayI look at things.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Absolutely.
And in regards to preventionand awareness, what is like one
of the most important tips youcould give our audience in
regards to spotting this type ofbehavior and what to do with it
?
Speaker 2 (37:45):
It is so important for parents and caregivers and
that goes clear from a parent toa teacher, to family courts, to
mental health experts, toeducation.
You know, everybody needs to beable to spot these red flags
and determine where are thesedangers.
Because we're not sitting on aplayground anymore with a van or
(38:06):
some ugly looking dude hidingbehind a bush.
We're talking about yourneighbor, the normal looking
person, the nice guy.
Some women Creditors are niceguys.
This guy that was my creditorwas a pilot.
He looked normal.
He doesn't look like a scarylooking dude.
These are people that, if youhave a gut feeling, you need to
(38:26):
really think about it.
You need to think about why areyou getting this gut feeling?
We have this ability to havethat first impression.
We have the ability to havegood vibes or bad vibes.
You need to pay attention tothose.
That's the first thing.
Second thing is the internet isnot a playground, but we treat
it like one.
We think, okay, kids go play,give them their own devices and
(38:49):
say have at it.
Here's the thing.
If your kid is 16 years old andthey want to get a driver's
license in school, they'rerequired to have great grades,
so you have to have a B plusaverage, I think to get into
driver's education.
And then you spend a semesteror two learning about driving a
vehicle.
And then you get to practice ina car with an educator who's
(39:12):
teaching you what to do and howto do it.
You're going too fast, you needto slow down, you forgot to
stop, you need to use yourblinker, you know all these
things you're being trained todo to drive a 3,000 pound or
more vehicle.
And then you have to take atest to see if you actually can
remember and know how to drivethis without the educator.
(39:34):
So you take that test, you haveto pass it and then you get a
permit.
Right Now you have to drivewith another adult who has
licensed.
They have to be licensed.
You have to drive six months toanother year and then you can
get a license to drive on yourown.
We do not put any one of thosemechanisms or guardrails in
(39:57):
place when we give them accessto the internet.
We're doing all this for a3,000-pound vehicle.
The internet can be muchdeadlier, against the odds.
You're talking about cyberbullying.
You're talking about predators,catfish, scam artists there's
so many more opportunities fordanger online but we don't give
them the education.
(40:18):
We don't test their skills andwe don't give them any kind of
internship in joining theinternet.
So we were not prepared for this.
We did not have.
We have this technologyparenting gap.
They didn't have training fromtheir childhood to prepare them
for their children who haveaccess to the internet.
(40:41):
So there's this training gap.
So what we have to do is now goback and provide that kind of
training and expertise forparents who didn't learn
technology when they were kids.
You have to pick up the toolsyou have to protect your child
because they are now thetechnology experts.
They don't have the securityexpertise that you have.
(41:02):
It's a lot for me to keep upwith.
I keep thinking I'm going to dothis and I'm like, oh, that's
old.
Now I got to do this Threeweeks.
Something can be out of date.
So I am having to figure outhow to teach the fundamentals
and then how they can adapt towhat's changing.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Yep and AI.
Speaker 2 (41:19):
that'll be the next conversation, because that is
yeah, that is a big conversationsealed to my abductor is where
the book starts, which is when Iwas nine years old.
(41:42):
If you're watching on youtubeyou can see the background
behind me as an upside down orinverted Salt Lake City temple.
It's actually the reflectionpool that I've captured for the
book, because this is a memoirabout reflecting on my childhood
(42:03):
and the weaponization of theMormon religion.
So it's not a depiction of anykind of demonish or anything
like that.
It's about the reflection andstopping to go back and use
critical thinking and go throughand dissecting and deculting
everything.
I want to draw that to theattention of my prospective
(42:25):
readers, that this is a storyabout being raised Mormon as
well as being abducted, becausethey kind of go together in an
undue influence kind of culturalfamily dynamic that also was
Mormon.
So we start with flying intoSalt Lake City, going through a
massive winter storm, and therewere six other couples that were
(42:49):
supposed to go with us to thetemple in December of 1977.
And we kept being told theadversary is going to try and
stop you, it's going to doeverything it can to prevent you
from reaching the temple.
And one by one, those sixcouples canceled.
Somebody got sick, somebodyelse got in a car accident or
(43:11):
something like that, and so, oneby one, we were the only family
left to go to Salt Lake.
My stepfather he's a legalguardian, but I don't give him
any further title thanstepfather, than stepfather, and
(43:31):
there's a reason for that,which we go into in the book.
But my stepfather was a pilotand he was egotistical, very
prideful in his skills andabilities as a pilot.
He's that daredevil, that evilkind of spirit, and it gave him
an ego boost.
We were going to fly throughthat storm to Salt Lake, no
matter what, because theadversary was his challenge and
(43:54):
he was going to defeat theadversary by getting us to the
temple, even through this severestorm.
1977, the my Turn on Earth playmade its debut in Salt Lake
City.
So it was right there in thesame and we had tickets to go.
So we got to go see the veryfirst showing of my Turn on
Earth and then the next day wego to the temple and we're
(44:17):
sealed as a family for all timeand eternity.
It's really hard for survivorsand their left behind parents.
(44:39):
Because I finally found himafter 44 years in 2015, I'm
going to go ahead and set up aFacebook account.
I found a marriage license atone point that had a bride's
name on it, and when I foundthat on Facebook I found a
Patrick McCarty, which is.
There's thousands of PatrickMcCarty's out there, but on
(45:01):
Facebook I found one that hadhad a friend with that name and
I thought this has to be it.
So I was able to find him, findher Facebook has the other
inbox.
There's a secondary inbox forpeople that aren't connected.
That's where my messages weregoing.
So I was like, how am I going toget his attention?
(45:23):
So I reached out to my halfbrother, which I didn't know.
I didn't have any idea at thetime, but I finally thought, ok,
he must be a son.
So I said, hey, my name is Don,I'm looking for my biological
father, I'm wondering if youmight have any information about
this person.
And he's like yeah, I have asister named Don.
(45:45):
That was his response to me.
And I said he says but wehaven't seen her in a long time.
And I thought this can't beright.
So I said, well, I waskidnapped when I was 40.
He goes yeah, that's the storywe were told.
And all of a sudden I could justfeel I don't know if it was a
state of shock or whatever, butI almost started feeling dumb
(46:05):
and staring at the screen indisbelief of what I just read.
So I called my son and I'm likeread this and tell me if that's
what it's saying, what I thinkit's saying.
So he did, he goes yeah, Ifound your dad.
I went really.
So it was really quite shockingto have that moment.
So I went back to him and saiddo you think he'd be interested
(46:28):
in talking to me?
I wanted to be careful not todisrupt a whole family life, so
I didn't want to come in withdemands or anything.
Do you think he'd be interestedin talking to me?
He's like well, let me find out.
And within five minutes I hadmy dad's phone number and I sat
there staring at that number andthinking that's a Florida
number.
(46:48):
I was born in Florida.
I lived in Florida.
Little did we know which wefound out during this 2016, 2017
timeframe that we lived atfirst, before I got my own
divorce and left Florida andmoved to Colorado.
That my dad lived less than 30minutes away.
Wow, he was living in TarponSprings.
(47:10):
I was living in St Petersburg,florida.
I didn't know that.
So I left the state and went toColorado.
So there was about a two-yeartime frame that I was in
Colorado and then I moved backto Florida temporarily and I
lived in Tarpon Springs.
I lived less than four minutesaway from where they were living
(47:31):
and we didn't know it.
We had no idea that we wereliving within four minutes of
each other.
So it was aggravating to feelsuch a loss that's a huge loss
that I could have had access tomy dad from 1998, when they
moved there somewhere in thattimeframe I could have been
(47:53):
reunited with him that wholetime and yet I had to wait until
2016.
So it was really hard toinstantly become a father to a
daughter he didn't see grow upand for me to feel like the
daughter of a dad I can barelyremember.
(48:14):
There is a, not a conflict, butjust a huge gap Like how do we
become these people?
How do we even know we're theright people?
My mom and dad when we moved toCalifornia when I was six
months old, they worked forSammy Davis Jr and so we were
(48:34):
around him a lot.
We were at his house quitefrequently.
So when I found my dad the onlyway I could know for sure,
without demanding a DNA test,was to say what celebrity were
we around when I was a baby?
And he goes you mean Sammy?
And instantly we knew we didn'tneed a DNA test.
(48:56):
We knew we had the right people, because only my real dad would
know that answer.
That's when it hit us like holycow.
We finally found each other andwe had to learn how to be in
each other's lives.
And for me, I felt like I hadall these instant walls all of a
sudden, like all thatindoctrination and brainwashing
kept sneaking in, saying he'sdangerous.
(49:18):
And I'm like he doesn't sounddangerous.
So I'm having this battle in myown head.
He doesn't look dangerous.
He doesn't, you know, act likehe's dangerous.
When I'm around him, he'sloving, he's kind, he's got a
family, he's got sons.
His sons care about me, theywelcome me into the family.
How could he be dangerous?
So I'm battling myself and I'vegot almost like skin crawling
(49:40):
kind of reaction when he triesto reach out and touch me.
Like even just his hand on myshoulder would just make me go
out and touch me.
Like even just his hand on myshoulder would just make me go.
Whoa.
It felt so foreign in thebeginning.
It was really hard and I thinkthat's probably a complication,
that a lot of people who arereunited, they don't know how to
(50:01):
become the person they were andthat's one of my points in my
manifesto is you're not, You'restarting over, you're meeting
now and that's the person you'regetting to know.
The person you used to knowdoesn't come back because
they've changed, they've grown,they've been hurt, they've been
scarred, they went throughtrauma, they've had life
experiences.
He got remarried, he had threesons.
(50:24):
There were so many things thatchanged us along the way that
you cannot expect them to justbe daddy and dawn again.
You're starting over, you'remeeting now and that's the
person you're getting to knowdawn.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Thank you so much for everything you do to keep us
safe.
Thank you for having thecourage to come forward and
share your story and cannot waitfor your book to come out.
It's called Sealed to myAbductor.
The link for that book will bein the show notes.
I'm assuming it'll also beavailable on Amazon too.
Speaker 2 (51:03):
So when it's published, it will be yes.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Yep, perfect.
We'll keep everybody up to dateon when they can find it Okay.
Thank you so much for being myguest today on the I Need Blue.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (51:15):
I loved it.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (51:17):
You're so welcome.
This is Jen Lee, host of the INeed Blue podcast.
To learn anything andeverything about I Need Blue,
visit my website ineedbluenet.
And remember you, blue.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
Visit my website inadebluenet and remember you
are stronger than you think.
Until next time.
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