May 12, 2025 • 45 mins
Mika’s story is one of trauma, loss, and resilience. Growing up in a humble immigrant household, she was shaped by responsibility and a strong moral compass, but a violent relationship and the tragic loss of her father changed her life forever. Through grief, guilt, and healing, Mika discovered forgiveness and purpose, now guiding her to create a non-profit educating youth on emotional awareness and healthy relationships. Join us for this heartfelt conversation about recognizing warning signs, prioritizing self-love, and turning pain into advocacy.
Connect with Mika:
Personal Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/k.banks.1?igsh=MXA5cWZzMjRqMmYxdQ==
Business URL:
https://www.instagram.com/aladinsevents?igsh=enlkdzVwczM1eXcz
Connect with Jen:
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By sharing the hidden lines of our stories, we remind each other we are not alone — together, we step out of hiding and into healing.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You never think it will happen to you until it does
.
One moment.
Life is normal, routine,predictable, and then suddenly
you're fighting to survive.
I'm Jennifer Lee, a survivorauthor and host of I Need Blue
(00:24):
podcast.
You belong, are loved,understood and empowered to
share.
Welcome to season five.
Listen to I Need Blue on ApplePodcasts, spotify, youtube or
your favorite listening platform.
(00:46):
Learn more at wwwineedbluenet.
Before we get started, I mustshare a trigger warning.
I Need Blue shares real-lifesurvivor stories, including
discussions of trauma, violenceand abuse.
These conversations are meantto empower, support and let
(01:11):
others know they are not alone.
Please prioritize yourwell-being and ask for help if
needed.
Now let's get started withtoday's story.
I unexpectedly met Micah bywinning her giveaway at a
networking lunch.
Among the items was a bluejournal.
(01:32):
Wanting to express my gratitude, I sent her a thank you email.
That simple act of appreciationturned into a conversation that
left me speechless.
Turned into a conversation thatleft me speechless.
As we emailed back and forth,micah shared a glimpse of her
past.
I've overcome a lot of traumamy ex tried to kill me but my
(02:03):
dad died saving me.
I've been kidnapped, dragged bya car, shot at and so much more
, but I'm here, I'm alive and Ishare my story because it
matters.
Then she said something thathit my heart in a way I can't
describe.
The steps you are taking willtouch many women.
Please never quit doing this.
(02:24):
We later met for coffee and ourconnection deepened.
I was drawn to her unwaveringfaith, her vision of creating a
non-profit to help others andher incredible resilience.
Despite all she had beenthrough, she carried a light
within her that refused to bedimmed.
(02:44):
Micah, your story is one theworld needs to hear.
Thank you for your friendship,your strength and for being my
guest on the I Need Blue podcast.
Thank you, it's a pleasure,absolutely.
Now, with the podcast, I tendto do things in a little bit
(03:07):
more of a chronological order,so do you mind kind of taking us
into what it was like for youas a child and growing up?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yes, my parents are from Haiti.
They came here and they starteda family.
They came here for a betterlife.
I am the second child out offour.
I have three brothers and I amthe only girl.
Growing up we didn't have a lot, but I am raised from love.
(03:43):
Watching my parents just cometo America and just making
things happen and being able topurchase a home was just major
for me.
My father didn't know how toread and write, so at a very
young age I would write thechecks for the mortgage.
I'll be responsible for goingwith them to pay FPL bills,
comcast bills, whatever it was.
So at a very early age Iunderstood bills.
Growing up, my childhood waswonderful Me and my brothers.
(04:06):
We loved to play outside,whether it was football, whether
it was racing, riding our bikes, roller skates.
I moved to North Miami in 2000.
It was a home.
My father ended up purchasing ahome, so that was something
major, coming from an immigrantthat did not speak English.
From there, it was wonderful.
I was closer to more familymembers.
(04:26):
I was raised in a betterneighborhood.
I went to public schools all mylife.
But it was wonderful and I lovemy childhood.
Honestly, I don't think I'lltake anything back from it.
It kind of played a role ofwhere I'm at today in life, even
though I had big roles as alittle girl.
(04:46):
I do appreciate my parents forthat.
I really do Certain things Ididn't understand because we
would only get like one or twopair of shoes every school year
and I always wished I had more.
But it was not until my fatherpassed away and I seen the
income that he had and thesacrifices that he made for us
and he made sure that we hadshelter.
(05:06):
He made sure that we were wellfed and well taken care of.
So coming into my adult life,when I was able to see it, I
understood more of what myparents had to sacrifice to get
us the better life that we havenow.
So I'm very grateful for that.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Yeah, you know, I often describe my childhood as
well, as we didn't always havewhat we want, but we always had
what we needed.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yes, and that was love.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Absolutely, and you say that with such love.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yes, because I come from a stable family where it
was not that we were rich oranything, but it was centered
around love.
And I watched my dad love mymother Like I can't say I ever
seen him put his hands on her,mistreat her or anything Like my
parents never even went to themovies or went on certain dates
because it's something thatthey're not used to, but I seen
(05:57):
them like come together and makeit happen for one another and
just build a family and build it.
It's like building a legacy,because back home they don't
have what we have, they don'thave the opportunity that we
have.
So for me it was definitelyraised from love.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
And speaking of back home, then have you visited
Haiti?
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yes, so I know I say back home as if I was there, but
my parents, you know,originated from there, but I
would go every summer for aboutthree months.
I love it so much.
I haven't been back since 2016because that's when all the
chaos in Haiti started.
All the gangs took over thestreets.
So I haven't been back eversince.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I bet that's hard to not go back and to know what
they're going through.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
By the grace of God, majority of my family has left
Haiti and came to the US.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Well, I'm glad to hear that most of them have been
able to come to the UnitedStates.
Yes, and three brothers.
How is that?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
It gave me tough skin .
I didn't have anybody to playBarbie dolls with but my
imaginary friend, but it gave metough skin.
I just was a tomboy for a verylong time until I hit my
freshman year of high school.
A young lady by the name ofPatricia, she moved across the
street from us and then shestarted to style my hair a
(07:19):
certain way.
So now I became more girly,wanting to get my nails done and
, you know, she just shifted mein a way.
So having a brother, brotherswas very nice because they were
overprotective of me.
My older brother, of course.
He went to high school beforeme.
So when I got to high school itwas like, yeah, this is my
little sister, y'all better notmess with her.
(07:39):
And then my little brother, weare very, very close.
The two that's under me, we'revery close.
So I love my brothers, I lovethem.
God did bless me with a cousin.
Like one of my cousins came toVids and she ended up living
with us for a few years.
That was also when I was inhigh school, transitioning into,
like, my girly phase.
So I consider her like mysister as well.
But I didn't have a sister at ayounger age where we could play
(08:02):
with Barbie dolls and you know,do all the fun stuff together.
But as I transitioned and Istarted getting my hair done and
my nails done, that wassomebody that took me under her
wing Like let's go, sister,let's go do this, let's go do
that.
So God did bless me in my likelater on.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
That's awesome At a time when, like you said, that
transitioning just as a girl initself can be very challenging,
so love that you had the supportthere for you.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Yes, I'm so grateful for it.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
So as you're getting older, you're in high school,
you know generally there's thewhole boyfriend thing, but you
also had brothers.
How was that?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
My brothers never really stopped me from having a
relationship.
They were more supportive.
They'll get to know whoever itwas I was dating at the time.
I don't feel like there was abrother that was like, hey, you
better leave my sister alone.
No, it was more like, hey, okay, what's going on?
So I didn't have mean brothers.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
And were you protective of them as they were
of you?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Very, and being the older sister, I remember the
school would call me my brotherswhen they got in trouble, my
younger brothers when they gotin trouble in school.
They would be afraid to call mymom.
So they would call me.
But little did they know is I'mgoing to give you discipline as
well.
So I used to come out to theschool.
Big sister, stop being bad, youknow, embarrass them in front
of their friends.
(09:24):
But little school big sister,stop being bad, you know,
embarrass them in front of theirfriends.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
But I was always overprotective.
I've always been there tosupport them and help them make
better choices in life as well.
That's awesome.
I think it's great that youhave them and they have you.
So now in the introduction youhave quite the story, and I
always say on my podcast thatyou share what you're
comfortable sharing how you'recomfortable sharing it, and so I
(09:52):
always like to let the guestskind of take the lead.
So wherever you would like tostart in sharing that journey,
we are here to listen.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Okay, I have definitely endured a lot of
trauma and I'm so glad that Godhas gave me the strength to just
keep it moving.
I was in a five and a half yearrelationship where my partner
was a very good boyfriend.
Like he was a great boyfriend.
He put me through the beginningof my college.
(10:22):
He brought me my first car.
He was always there.
But everybody had flaws and hisflaw was kind of something I
should have walked away from assoon as I seen the red flags,
but I didn't.
So I remember once we had atiny argument and I was like you
know, I'm not going to talk tohim for a couple of days.
And this man pops up to one ofmy friend house and he's like oh
(10:43):
, come outside.
And I'm like how does he evenknow where I'm at?
I'm like you don't even knowwhere I'm at.
He was like oh, you think Idon't know where you at.
And I looked out the window andI seen his car.
I told him I was like listen,don't cause any trouble here,
leave and I'll meet you at home.
So he was like all right, yougot five.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
How early on in the relationship did that incident
occur?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Probably after a year and a half I want to say I'm
not too sure what the timeline,but that was the first red flag
that I did see.
And when I went outside to getthe car, I was telling my best
friend's brother-in-law to movethe car out the yard and while
he was doing so he came backaround the block.
And when he came back aroundthe block, he's like back around
(11:24):
the block.
He's like give me the car, giveme the car.
And I'm like you're not gonnado this right now.
Whatever, and I did not know,he had a gun.
The gun ended up falling, buthe picked it up and got in the
car and left.
So that was the first red flag,but I ignore it, being young
and dumb, um, so I went back tohis home and then I spoke to him
.
I was like you don't do nothinglike that, that's embarrassing.
I just put it on a shelf and Ikept going in that relationship
(11:47):
because he apologizedimmediately and promised it
would happen again.
It was another time.
This is the second red flagthat I've got and that I ignored
as well.
The second time, anotherincident happened and I was like
you know what, I'm going totake a break from him, just not
talk to him today.
Did I think we was broken up oranything like that?
No, so what happened is I gotin my car and then I was driving
(12:11):
.
I see a car behind me and whenI look back I'm like oh, that's
his mom's car.
She had a sign in the frontthat said blood of Jesus in
Creole.
So that's how I noticed it washer car.
So I pulled over to the side alittle bit and he jumps out the
car and I'm like why he looks soangry and he started to bang on
the window.
Pow, pow, pow, pow right.
He started to bang on thewindow and I'm like what's going
(12:32):
on?
So I drive off.
As I'm driving off, I looked atthe rear view mirror and I
noticed that he had a gun.
So the first time he didn'tshoot, he dropped a gun.
The second time he did shoot.
It pierced the back of my carand I kept driving.
The gun fell again.
So I do believe that was Godthat was dropping the gun all
this time, and God gave mechances.
(12:52):
But sometimes what we don'trealize is that we don't pay
attention to the red flags.
You know, sometimes we have tolook and say you know what this
person have anger issue.
Let me just walk away.
So I was speeding throughtraffic and I caught the 911
operator and as I'm driving I'mexplaining what's going on and I
(13:13):
made it to the police station.
So that day he did get arrestedand he was arrested for about, I
want to say, two to threemonths.
He was in there for a while andbeing dumb again, oh my God, I
hate to.
I really hate to see people injail because you know you don't
get treated good.
But at the same time, what I'velearned is some people earned
jail because of their actions,not able to control their
(13:36):
emotions, and that's what Ilearned later on.
So I ended up contacting hislawyer and saying, hey, I would
like to drop the charges, andthey still made him sit for a
month or two months or whateverthe time was right.
They still made him sit forthat amount of time and I
believe that the judge was fairbecause it was like you know
what, instead of me, just lethim go, let him get a taste of
(13:56):
what it's like to be behind bars.
When he came back out, we wasdoing wonderful.
Then he ended up doing federaltime for something that happened
before he even started talkingto me.
So he was gone for about threeand a half years.
I found out that he was talkingto somebody else, so I kept
hearing about this person andthen I'm like I brought it to
(14:17):
his attention Are you talking tothis person?
And he admitted that he wastalking to her.
That's why his phone was alwaysunder the bed when we went to
bed at night.
I wanted to leave at that timeand I felt like that was a
perfect opportunity to leave,but I cared too much about what
other people would think.
So in my mind I'm like, hmm, ifI leave, they're going to say I
(14:40):
used him.
If I leave, they're going tosay that I am using him for his
money.
I forgave him.
He came home.
She kept popping up again, so Itold him you have one last time
.
I remember one time we went tothe bar and while we was at the
bar and he was sitting there,his phone begins to ring.
So when his phone began to ring, I said who was that calling
you?
And then, once he realized thatthe number that he had saved
her under was a guy number, hetried to play it off.
(15:01):
I said, uh-uh, put on speaker.
And she spoke oh, we have eachother back, no matter what, and
this and that.
So I told him to drop me home.
He got extremely upset, so hedropped me home.
That night, I no longer hadintercourse with him.
I no longer went to certainplaces with him.
I no longer went back to hishouse.
Now this is October 2016.
(15:21):
So in January of 2017, I decidedto go to the park and have a
talk with him.
So we're talking at a park andhis phone was about to die.
So we went back to the house.
And when we went back to thehouse, he got a charger.
He said hey, my mom wants tosee you.
And I was like no, it's okay.
Like I don't want to go in yourhouse, you know.
(15:41):
So when we drive off, one of myfriends texts me and I laugh
and I'm like oh my gosh, she'sso funny.
He was like how did you forgiveher?
But you did not forgive me.
And I'm like, because you aremy partner and you continue to
do the same thing, her, she's afriend.
That incident was minor, so hegot so mad.
He was like don't worry, don'tworry, I'm tired of this.
He was like you treat me unfair.
(16:02):
And he was like you know what,if you move on, I'm going to
kill you in that N-word.
So then I took my phone.
I said say it again.
Say it again so I can recordyou.
So if anything happens to me,they know exactly who did it.
He got extremely quiet.
So then I calmed down and Ijust put my phone on my lap.
He took my phone, he threw itout the window.
(16:25):
So at that time I was startingmy last business.
I recently took a course and Ialso was selling waste trainers
around that time.
So all my vendors andeverything was good, and at that
age I wasn't good withpasswords.
So now I get extremely mad.
So we start going back andforth in the car and I was like,
let me out of the car.
He didn't want to let me out.
He was driving crazy, he wasrunning into cars, he was
running into all type of stuff.
So finally I was able to getout the car but I had a backpack
(16:46):
on.
So he grabbed my backpack andhe started to accelerate.
So I started to run backwardsand I fell on my rear and he
pressed the gas and my wholerear was.
The skin was off and I almostgot ran over by another car.
When this happens again, thisis another red flag that you're
just ignoring.
So after that date I decided tonot communicate with him.
(17:07):
No more, have no dealings withhim at all.
I went to the hospital.
I did not do any reports, whichI should have did reports.
I let it go.
So that was basically the donedata.
I'm not dealing with thisperson anymore.
He kept trying.
Valentine's Day he sent stuffto my mom's house a whole bunch
of balloons and teddy bears andchocolate.
(17:34):
I started dating the father ofmy child kind of after that
incident occurred, but it wasprivate.
So when it was finally hisbirthday, I posted him for the
first time.
And when I posted him for thefirst time, my ex-boyfriend went
crazy.
He was very upset, I believe.
I posted him and like 30minutes later he called me.
He was like is that your new in?
Let him know, we're going tobump heads.
We're going to bump heads andI'm like what?
And I was planning my dude atthe time's birthday.
(17:57):
I was getting a chef together,I had to go prepare a room, I
had to do so much stuff.
The father of my child contactsme.
He goes hey, what's up withlooking for my address?
So he started to ask for hisaddress and a friend notified
him.
Hey, be careful, because thisguy said he's looking for you.
(18:17):
At that time I was like youknow what I text him and I said,
hey, you know, you just got outof jail.
It's so much fish is in the sea, do not go messing anything up
for something that you did.
So, I guess because he couldn'tget the address.
He just made a U-turn.
I was still talking to myfriend trying to plan everything
, and then I started to hearfootsteps and then I hear
gunshots.
Immediately the Holy Spiritjust told me like he's here.
(18:39):
So I got up off my bed and Ilooked and I could see somebody
running across, but it didn'tmake sense to me.
So I got up and I went to theliving room and my dad was at
the door.
Two weeks prior, my dad changedthe doorknobs of the house.
I love to share this part ofthe story just to bring
awareness.
You know how on the inside youcan just lock it, the doorknob.
So my dad changed it from youneed the key on the inside and a
(19:02):
key on the outside.
So I told my father.
I said, dad, I don't think thatwas a good idea, but my dad had
his way, where it's like oh,you don't know, no better,
you're just a child.
And my dad carried a lot ofkeys.
He had multiple cars and he hadproperties in Haiti and he had
a ring with a whole bunch ofkeys.
So my dad looks at me.
He goes, oh, it's here the guy.
(19:28):
My ex-boyfriend is here.
So he's looking for the key.
And as I'm looking becauseeverything has happened so fast
as I'm looking, he ran this wayand I see him coming into the
gate and shooting again.
Mind you, he was shooting myfriend.
I didn't know he was shootingat him.
My dad is like run, he lockedthe door.
I ran and as I'm turning toclose the door, I see they're
tussling.
Instead of going into my room,which was immediately on the
left, I went straight down to mybrother's room because he
(19:49):
wouldn't know exactly where I am.
So I went into my brother'scloset and I threw some sheets
over me.
When I threw the sheet over me,I was on the phone with the
operator.
Yeah, this is what's going on.
This is my address.
I shared all the informationand I hear him tussling with my
father.
I seen him first, but he wasstill.
(20:10):
You could hear things falling.
And I told him he's.
I heard a gunshot, like onemore gunshot, pow, and I'm like
I think he shot my dad.
I think he shot my dad and Ihear everything falling.
So then I'm like he's going toget me next, he's going to get.
I started hanging.
I hung up the phone.
So when I hung up the phone, Iimmediately got scared.
(20:30):
And then I had a cousin that wasvisiting me from Haiti, from my
dad's side.
She was visiting, so I heardthe bathroom door open.
When it opened, I thought itwas him going door for door
looking for me.
So I got more scared.
I became more afraid.
She discovered him on the floorright.
So when she discovered him onthe floor, she started to scream
, which in Creole means uncle,uncle.
So as she's screaming, uncle,uncle, I'm like, oh my God, he's
(20:52):
about to kill her.
So I start to do a countdown.
So I'm like five, four, three,two, one.
And it wasn't until recentlythat I realized that God was
with me at that time, because Iwas like what made me count down
?
Like I've never been throughthis situation before.
I wasn't trained for thissituation.
So I was like what made mecount from five?
I was like five, four, three,two, one.
(21:13):
And when I ran out I seen herlike jumping around and I seen
him laying on the ground.
So then when I ran to him, Iseen his dentures was on the
floor, his wallet, his keysRemember, he was holding the
keys so everything just came outand I noticed that it was a
hole on his chest.
So as she's jumping aroundgoing crazy, I decided to apply
pressure on it and as I'mapplying the pressure, the blood
(21:35):
is coming out, like I'm like OK, he's gone.
His eyes was rolling back.
I was checking for a pulse.
I didn't feel anything.
It's as if he died immediately.
So I was just over him and I'mjust like I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry that this happened toyou.
I'm just apologizing to him.
I started kissing him all overhis face.
I'm like I'm so sorry orwhatever.
At this time I'm not losing mymind yet because I haven't fully
(21:57):
processed it.
The father of my child startedto call me and when he called me
and I answered, I said hey, hejust killed my dad, in a very
calm voice because it stilldidn't hit me.
Then I received another textmessage from the guy he texts me
.
He goes you broke my heart andthen I looked at the phone and I
put it back down.
So my other friend, the onethat ran he ran to another
(22:17):
neighbor's house.
The neighbor's brother ended upcoming over and when he came
over he was like what's going on?
What's going on and at thispoint I'm still calm because I
still haven't processed what wasgoing on and I told him I said
my ex just killed my dad.
He was like what I said, my exjust killed my dad.
So he walked in and he cameback.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
(22:38):
So I seen the officer come andI guess he was waiting for
backup because it was shooting.
So he didn't come along.
So when they actually came in,the paramedics came as well as
soon as they came in and theysaid that this is everybody to
get out, because now it's acrime scene.
That's when it hit me like, ohmy God, this is real, it's
actually happening.
I started crying you know thewhole process and they took me
(23:00):
in for questioning, answered allthe questions.
As I was getting questioned,they asked me was somebody else
involved in the shooting.
Did somebody else get shot?
I said no, I don't think nobodyelse got shot.
No, so what happened is when Icame back to the crime scene,
completely forgot that I wastalking to my friend, I seen the
vehicle.
So when I seen the vehicle, Iwas like, oh my God, he got shot
(23:23):
.
So I'm like, hey, did you guysremember?
You guys asked me, did somebodyelse get shot?
And I completely forgot that Iwas talking to my friend.
They was like okay, they wrotedown his information.
So not only did my father die,but for the next three days in
my mind, I thought he died aswell.
Three days later he camewalking into my mom's yard.
He had the hospital gown.
(23:44):
I was like, oh my God, thankGod you're alive, because I'm
already tripping about my dad'ssituation and I thought you were
gone.
He was like no.
So he got shot several times inthe legs, he got grazed a
couple of times and then he gotshot, but he was able to stand
up and walk and everything.
So I was like thank you God, bythe grace of God, that he's
still alive.
Through this trauma, throughthis experience that I went
(24:04):
through, I realized that as thedays were going by, bills were
still coming and at that time Iwas doing lashes at my mom's
house and actually that day thathe came, when everything
happened.
I was supposed to do somebodylashes that morning, but she
came late.
So I was very, very strict onmy time because I felt like once
somebody come late, they'regoing to always do it.
(24:24):
So because she was 15 minuteslate, I didn't have nobody after
her I did not take her.
It's like God made that happen,because would she have been in
the living room while I wasdoing her lashes, she would have
been a victim as well and Iwould have been dead.
It would have been three peopledead in one shot in the front.
So I thank God for that.
(24:45):
It was a lot and as everythingwas going, bills were still
going, so I had to pop open mylash bed and keep doing lashes.
My family members were comingto visit.
I had to take over.
After the funeral happened, Iused to tell my brothers like yo
, like y'all, need to step upand help me.
And one of my brothers lookedme in my eyes and he said this
is all your fault, so you haveto pay all the bills, and it
hurt my heart so bad.
(25:05):
So ever since then I workedextra hard.
I tried my best to make it meetfor my mom.
You know I tried my best to bethere for her, so that's one of
the main traumatic thing thathappened to me was my father's
death.
So he died in 2017.
We finally got justice lastyear, 2023.
He did get sentenced to life.
He got sentenced to two lifesentences, one for my father and
(25:28):
one for my friend that wasoutside.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Where was your mom during the whole incident?
Speaker 2 (25:35):
My mom that day.
She said that I caught herright Because she appeared about
15 minutes after everythinghappened.
And she told me I called herand I don't remember calling her
.
She was like Mika, you calledme.
And when she came to the sceneshe was like what's going on?
What's going on?
And she started to look aroundand she goes OK, mika's right
here, johnny's right here,jesse's right here.
(25:57):
She's looking around naming allher kids, like everybody that
live in the house, and she waslike where's Poppy?
Where's Poppy?
And I'm like, oh my God, how amI going to tell my mom this?
So the paramedics and theofficers were like ma'am, do you
have high blood pressure or doyou suffer from anything?
You know, just before she knowsthe news and she was already
putting two together becauseit's a crime scene.
(26:18):
There's an ambulance truckthere, you know just, and it
happened so fast, like theytaped it up so fast.
So she found out about it andit was a lot for her to deal
with, because my parents weremarried for over 30 years.
They were together not married,but together for over 30 years.
They came to America together.
They started a family together.
I don't know any other woman orany other men but my parents.
(26:39):
That was very hurtful for her.
I thank God that her sister wasable to come, because now that
she's here they actually aretogether, so she doesn't feel
alone.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yeah, that's awesome when you came out of the closet
and you went to your dad.
Where was the ex-boyfriend atthat time?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
At that time I didn't know where he was.
He had gotten back into the carwhen officers finally came and
they wanted to question me.
I said I will not speak untilyou guys catch this person.
So when I went there they waslike, okay, we're going to take
you, we want you to point himout.
So I was like, okay, yeah, hegot arrested at his parents'
house.
He actually got arrested infront of his mother, father, his
family members.
(27:20):
He was able to go in and changehis clothes and shortly after.
Yes, immediately.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Wow.
You and I also had conversationabout what it was like for you
going to court.
Would you like to share?
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Oh my God, it was so frustrating because it was a
process that started over andover again.
So when we first started, thepublic defender that he had
didn't want to pick up his case.
So he kept saying, I have thiscase, I have that case.
So it kept, you know, justgoing backwards.
And then 2020 happened.
So when COVID happened, itpushed all the dates back.
(27:58):
Then, when he found a lawyer,you know the lawyer was very
rude.
He was just like, oh well, ifhe's like this, then why did you
marry him?
Or your dad would be alive,like he'll say certain things
just to make me angry, but itdidn't work because I guess he
tried to make me look crazy ormake it look like I have a bad
reaction.
(28:19):
That did not work.
That lawyer ended up gettingsuspended for a while.
So everything was on breakagain.
When it was time to come backto court like we started with
questioning and everything westarted the whole process.
We started trial.
He ended up getting suspended.
They paused the whole thing.
Then, when it was time for herto come back, he ended up
passing away the same lawyer.
So the lawyer passed away.
(28:40):
So they pushed everything backagain.
Finally, we was assigned to anew judge.
So this judge said you knowwhat?
This has been going on for toolong.
This needs to be done by theend of the year.
So this happened 2017, 2018,2019, 2020, 2021, 2022.
And then finally, in 2023, wewere able to finally start trial
in the ending of December In2024, in January he was finally
(29:03):
sentenced.
Start trial in the ending ofDecember In 2024, in January he
was finally sentenced.
It was very annoying becauseit's like you have to keep
reliving your trauma and it'sone thing to tell a story and
it's another thing to actuallysee everything.
The first time I didn't get tosee none of the evidence,
because it never made it thatfar, but I did have meetings
that I had to sit down with myattorney and, just you know,
(29:25):
just go over some things.
So I had to relive the moment,relive the moment, relive the
moment.
And finally, when courthappened, I had to sit outside.
So I had to hear my family tellme what they had to experience.
I wouldn't want my familymembers to experience what I
experienced, or nobody else, sothey had to hear the 911 call.
They had to see my reaction,how I was calm one minute, going
(29:46):
crazy the next minute calm,another minute.
Going crazy the next minute.
I was just all over the placenot understanding that somebody
that I love just killed somebodythat I love as well.
For my mom, I felt really badbecause you know, when you go
through these court processes,the medical examiner comes, so
you're seeing body parts, you'reseeing the brain, you're seeing
the bloody scenes.
(30:06):
My mom didn't see the bloodyscenes.
Yes, she's seen a little bit ofresidue, because when they
clean up they don't really cleanup thoroughly.
So to see him laying down therelifeless although I faced my
own trauma, I know it's atraumatic experience for her to
see her husband in thatsituation and it wasn't his
fault.
He did not deserve that.
(30:27):
He came to America just for abetter life and to provide for
his kids.
So for that to happen, I knowit hurt them a lot and it hurt
my family.
This whole situation hurt myfamily a lot.
One of my brother became analcoholic and then another one
of my brother he started reallysmoking marijuana.
But one thing that I did say Isaid when I go through this, I'm
not going to drink or I'm notgoing to smoke, I'm not turning
(30:49):
to drugs.
And I didn't have time toreally grieve because I had to
go back to work and because ofmy story, because of what took
place, I was so booked, so manypeople started to find out about
me and find out about mybusiness and they started to
support me.
So I was working nine to nine,nine to nine, nine to nine, so I
didn't have time to grieve tilllike later on.
(31:10):
I'm very thankful because theysaid that a lot of time trials
doesn't go that long.
Usually they'll just pleadguilty and then be over with.
So a lot of the people that cameto the court that was from the
city that was working at thepolice department at that time
the detectives, a lot of themremember my dad's situation.
There was one lady she actuallyis an officer in a whole
(31:31):
different state now and she camedown and she was like I can
remember your story like it wasyesterday.
She was like your story wasdifferent, like I remember your
dad.
I remember the way you panicand I got to sit with her like
outside.
Your dad, I remember the way youpanic and I got to sit with her
like outside and I spoke to herfor a while and she was like I
would never miss this.
She said I had to be here, likeI had to be here, and then one
(31:52):
of the crime scene investigatorsthat was there she no longer
worked for them as well.
She also told me your storyreally impacted me and showed me
a different, you know life, ofthings that can happen and I
never experienced it before.
So she made sure that she wasthere.
So I was very grateful foreverybody that came out and
didn't give up on us.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Do you feel like you ended up having more support
than you ever realized in goingthrough this?
Yes, I have a very big familyand they flew from all over.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
I have a very big family and they flew from all
over.
And another thing was like mydad had life insurance for a
while and the life insurance hehe told him I never received my
packet was going on.
I keep asking you guys forinformation.
He was like you know what I'mgoing to go ahead and change.
So literally three monthsbefore he passed away, he
(32:42):
changed his life insurance to adifferent company and because
was so new and fresh, it didn'tcover anything.
So thank god for having a bigfamily, because with haitians
our culture when somebody passesaway, everybody comes together
and bring money.
So he was able to have awonderful, wonderful funeral
ceremony.
Um, we had about 300 guests orprobably plus, like the
(33:03):
community came out verysupportive.
So I really thank God for a lotof things.
Thank God for my family as well.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Absolutely.
You know it had to be tough tomove forward with court hanging
over your head.
How did you get through that?
How did you manage that?
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Grace of God, I had to keep going.
My dad trained me growing up,like everything that he taught
me, it played on, it benefitedme during that time, during that
season, because I had to get up.
And you know what?
I got to handle this FPL.
I got to handle this, I have tohandle that.
So there's a lot of stuff thathe put in me that I was like,
(33:45):
okay, I kept myself busy,basically Because if I was free
I probably would have just wentcompletely crazy.
After my dad passed away, I wentto the cemetery every single
day for about three months andthen my mom, she came out there
one time and she was like leavehim alone, you're not letting
him rest, just leave him alone.
And then after that day Ireally haven't been back and I
don't really plan on going back,because something my pastor
(34:07):
said is like when you're goingto the cemetery, you're not
visiting anybody.
The soul is already gone, it'sleft from the body.
So you know you're just goingto the cemetery and I'm like you
know what?
He's absolutely right.
I would always kiss my dad.
I'm a very affectionate person,so I would kiss.
I was kissing him.
I remember being in the kitchenlike he was cleaning, he was
mopping the floor and I waskissing him.
I was like I love you and helooked at me a certain way, like
(34:28):
you know, like you know, thatmemory lives with me forever
because I had a sweet momentwith my father before it
happened and, um, you know, I'm,I'm just, I'm grateful for it.
Honestly, I'm grateful for it.
It was challenging I'm notgoing to say it was easy, but I
feel like the best thing that Idid was to keep going.
(34:49):
Life goes on after death.
Was there a moment for you whereit all just kind of hit the
grief and the loss and all ofthat.
Of course, the funeral homeallowed us to see his body
before he got embalmed, um, sothey covered him in a blanket
(35:09):
and only his head was like hisface was out the only thing.
And I went me my mom, my aunt,they allowed the family, the
immediate family, to come and Ijust released it all like I
cried so much I couldn't hold it, you know, and I am a feet
person, like I love I love feet.
So I went to my, you know, andI am a feet person, Like I love
feet.
So I went to my dad and I wouldalways mess with his feet and I
was just holding onto his feetand I was just crying so hard
(35:31):
Like I can't believe this ishappening right now, Like I
can't believe this is real.
And even at the extra funeral Ididn't hear nothing they were
talking about.
I had a boo-hoo cry the wholetime because it was just a
feeling of guilt, because myfather at one point didn't want
him around, like didn't like theguy for me anymore, Because
they ended up finding out thathe shot at my car, like later on
(35:53):
when they went to go pick himup for the federal case.
So after that time my fathernever wanted me to be with him
anymore and I'm like it's all myfault.
I should have listened.
Like you know, your parentsknow best and even though we
don't understand that at thetime, at the moment but the
parents, your parents, willalways want what's best for you
and I didn't realize that tillafter and I had so much guilt
(36:14):
I'm like this is all my fault.
This is somebody that I pickedto love.
I blamed myself for a longperiod of time, Even sometimes,
like when I sit down like I justrecently purchased a home, I'm
like you know, my dad sacrificedhis life to come to America for
a better life.
I was like he would be so happyto see me in this home.
Like I think about it all thetime.
I always say, man, I'm soblessed that I had the father
(36:35):
that I had.
He didn't abandon us, he didn'tleave us for dead.
He really was a real man.
So when I date, I should lookat people that have the same
mindset as my father, that wantsto provide for the family, that
wants the sweet love that youknow just understand the
importance of family.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
What does forgiveness look like for you?
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
God, that was the hardest thing to do, ok, so it
was very hard.
I had a lot of bitterness in myheart.
So in 2019, I remember gettingon my knees and I said God, give
me the ability to forgive thisman.
Like I don't want to take thisinto the next year, like I want
to be able to release it.
(37:16):
You know, and I prayed about itand I'm not going to lie it,
just it wasn't easy because Ihad to keep seeing him and when
everything first happened, heflicked a birdie at my brother.
So you know, it made him morehurtful, more intense, like you
know what you did.
But I did forgive him.
I had to in order to move on,in order to not be in a dark
(37:36):
space.
In January 2024, during hissentencing, we were able to
speak to him.
Just final statements.
My mom spoke, my brothers hadthe opportunity to speak and I
was one that spoke and I waslike you know what?
I forgive you, you know, butyou made a bet and you have to
lay in it.
And I was like God gave you somuch chances.
I seen the red flags and Iignored them and I said God gave
(37:58):
you so much chances.
I said the first time you know,you dropped a gun.
The second time you pierced abullet and you dropped a gun and
the third time you actuallykilled somebody.
So you had chances.
So it wouldn't be fair for youto be released running the
streets wild because God gaveyou your chances.
So now you have to lay in thatbed.
But I do believe even my momforgave him.
I forgave him, my older brotherforgave him.
(38:20):
It's just one of my brotherthat he hasn't gotten to the
forgiving part yet.
Like he's not there yet and Icannot force him.
That's something that he willhave to do on his own.
But honestly, I forgave him.
I did Like I had to, likethat's the only way that I was
able to keep going.
And did you forgive yourself?
Yes, eventually I did, becauseI had to realize that my dad did
(38:45):
what any father would do.
He told me to run, he wasprotecting me.
He's a superhero.
It's so crazy that I had aconversation with my father
probably like two weeks before.
It's like family members werecalling us, like oh, we see,
we're having dreams thatsomebody is robbing the house
and we're having dreams aboutthis and having that.
And what my father told me.
My father said if I die, itwon't matter to me.
(39:07):
He said I accomplishedeverything I wanted to
accomplish in life.
He said I came to America, Igave my family a better life and
in the house where my parents'house are paid off.
And he said I paid the houseoff so if anything ever happened
to my kids where they can'tafford a home, they always have
a home that they can go back to.
So I think about that a lot.
(39:27):
And another thing that I thinkabout what my dad said a couple
months before that is you see,your mother.
I love her and I would doanything for her.
Whatever I can do for her, Iwill do it because at my lowest
she was there.
When I got sick, she was there.
She didn't miss no doctorappointments.
She was always there.
Those two things live with meand I hear it all the time.
It's as if I could hear hisvoice just speaking to me.
(39:50):
Our life was written before wewere even born.
So I do believe that it wassupposed to happen the way it
happened, even though it'sunfortunate, because I feel like
God has given me a voice tospeak and I'm training the bad
for good.
I want to get out into thecommunity and speak about
controlling our emotions,because majority of the people
(40:11):
that is incarcerated is becausethey couldn't control their
emotions Boyfriends killinggirlfriends, girlfriends killing
boyfriends.
I do believe that a lot of mystory, a lot of my trauma, is
testimonies as well.
Because I survived it, I'm ableto speak about it and hopefully
my story can change others.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Absolutely.
It starts with one voice, right?
Yes, Controlling your feelings.
Love that you're bringing thatto light.
Is there anything you wouldlike to add in regards to that
topic of controlling youremotions?
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Controlling your emotions is very important
because in a second your lifecan change.
One wrong decision.
Your life can change because,like I said, this guy has so
much potential and, just likethat, now you're behind bars for
the rest of your life.
And when I look at the videobecause our neighbor had a
camera that was facing towardsthe house and when I look at the
(41:09):
video, everything happened in afew seconds, not even a minute.
Him coming up, coming out thecar, shooting this person, going
back to the car.
He shot with one gun.
He went back to the car and hewent and got a bigger gun and
then went in the house.
In those few seconds of youbeing angry and not being able
to calm down, you lost your life.
(41:30):
Two people died behind us andone person got injured behind us
, just because of you notcontrolling your emotions.
One mistake, you only take onemistake.
That's what I would mean.
Now I learned how to control myanger because I feel like with
the trauma, with all my traumastogether, it's like I learned
(41:51):
how to control my emotions.
I'll shut down, I won't talk.
I will just try my best not toget control my emotions.
I'll shut down, I won't talk.
I will just try my best not toget out of character and I don't
feel like some peopleunderstand me, like some people
will be like why are you nottalking or why are you not
engaging with me?
And it's not that.
It's like I don't want to saythe wrong thing, I don't want to
go beyond myself.
Like it's very important,that's something that's very
(42:12):
important for me.
It's just controlling myemotions.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
What advice would you give to your younger self?
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Pay attention to those red flags.
Red flags, red flags.
That is very important to payattention to the red flags.
If you see somebody is able topull out a gun once, they'll do
it twice.
Sorry sounds good, but is theperson really sorry?
My advice to my younger self ispay attention to the red flags
and don't be afraid to walk away.
God will give you much, muchmore a better person that
(42:42):
understands you, somebody thatwill control their emotions.
So that would be the advice Igive my younger self.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Thank you for sharing .
Now your journey has broughtyou to where you are today and
wanting to establish thisnonprofit.
Can we take a minute and youtell us about that?
Speaker 2 (43:15):
friends.
I want it to be somethingthat's nationwide.
I want to travel and speakabout it.
I want to go to schools andeducate students.
It's very important that weattack our youth first, because
they are the main ones that aregoing through the emotional
phase where they're learningtheir stuff at that time.
So you know, it's veryimportant to speak to them as
well.
In my venue that I'm opening,since it's a community outreach,
I do plan on teaching financialliteracy.
(43:36):
I do want to gather peopletogether that can come and speak
to our community about what'sgoing on.
My goal is to tell people aboutcontrolling their emotions, and
I feel like it's very important.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Yeah, you're definitely on to something there
.
So, kudos, keep moving forwardas it it evolves.
And you have more information,please pass it on and I will
share it with the audience aswell, and quickly tell us about
your ebook.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
Yes, so I do have a personal credit ebook that I
will be releasing soon.
I myself, in my adult life, hasalways been doing cash, cash,
cash cash until it was time topurchase my house.
During the process of my house,I see how important it was.
So after purchasing my home, alot of people started asking me
like, oh, what did you do?
And I'm like you know one ofthe main things that you need is
(44:26):
credit.
And I realized that a lot of myfamily and friends are in the
five 600, like lower creditscores.
And you know, I startedinvesting and learning more
about credit.
So I put all of my knowledgethat I have learned into one
book.
It's full of information.
It's literally full ofinformation.
It could take you from to 500to the 750s, maybe 800.
(44:48):
To fix your credit, if you goto a credit person, they'll have
you pay $1,000, $2,000 when youcould just purchase an ebook
for about 68 bucks, and it'llhave all the information
there,000, $2,000 when you couldjust purchase an ebook for
about $68.
And it'll have all theinformation there.
So you just have to read it andget it done.
You just have to take action.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
Yep All the information at your fingertips
right.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Yes, it's there.
The extra bonus that's in there.
It has 20 different disputeletters.
So it's phenomenal it has somuch information in there.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
All right, I can't wait to see it, so very excited
for that.
So this is going to be great.
Micah, thank you for being myguest today on the I Need Blue
podcast.
Of course, it was a pleasure,absolutely, and thank you for
listening.
No-transcript.
You never think it will happen to you until it does
.
One moment.
Life is normal, routine,predictable, and then suddenly
you're fighting to survive.
I'm Jennifer Lee, a survivorauthor and host of I Need Blue
(00:24):
podcast.
You belong, are loved,understood and empowered to
share.
Welcome to season five.
Listen to I Need Blue on ApplePodcasts, spotify, youtube or
your favorite listening platform.
(00:46):
Learn more at wwwineedbluenet.
Before we get started, I mustshare a trigger warning.
I Need Blue shares real-lifesurvivor stories, including
discussions of trauma, violenceand abuse.
These conversations are meantto empower, support and let
(01:11):
others know they are not alone.
Please prioritize yourwell-being and ask for help if
needed.
Now let's get started withtoday's story.
I unexpectedly met Micah bywinning her giveaway at a
networking lunch.
Among the items was a bluejournal.
(01:32):
Wanting to express my gratitude, I sent her a thank you email.
That simple act of appreciationturned into a conversation that
left me speechless.
Turned into a conversation thatleft me speechless.
As we emailed back and forth,micah shared a glimpse of her
past.
I've overcome a lot of traumamy ex tried to kill me but my
(02:03):
dad died saving me.
I've been kidnapped, dragged bya car, shot at and so much more
, but I'm here, I'm alive and Ishare my story because it
matters.
Then she said something thathit my heart in a way I can't
describe.
The steps you are taking willtouch many women.
Please never quit doing this.
(02:24):
We later met for coffee and ourconnection deepened.
I was drawn to her unwaveringfaith, her vision of creating a
non-profit to help others andher incredible resilience.
Despite all she had beenthrough, she carried a light
within her that refused to bedimmed.
(02:44):
Micah, your story is one theworld needs to hear.
Thank you for your friendship,your strength and for being my
guest on the I Need Blue podcast.
Thank you, it's a pleasure,absolutely.
Now, with the podcast, I tendto do things in a little bit
(03:07):
more of a chronological order,so do you mind kind of taking us
into what it was like for youas a child and growing up?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yes, my parents are from Haiti.
They came here and they starteda family.
They came here for a betterlife.
I am the second child out offour.
I have three brothers and I amthe only girl.
Growing up we didn't have a lot, but I am raised from love.
(03:43):
Watching my parents just cometo America and just making
things happen and being able topurchase a home was just major
for me.
My father didn't know how toread and write, so at a very
young age I would write thechecks for the mortgage.
I'll be responsible for goingwith them to pay FPL bills,
comcast bills, whatever it was.
So at a very early age Iunderstood bills.
Growing up, my childhood waswonderful Me and my brothers.
(04:06):
We loved to play outside,whether it was football, whether
it was racing, riding our bikes, roller skates.
I moved to North Miami in 2000.
It was a home.
My father ended up purchasing ahome, so that was something
major, coming from an immigrantthat did not speak English.
From there, it was wonderful.
I was closer to more familymembers.
(04:26):
I was raised in a betterneighborhood.
I went to public schools all mylife.
But it was wonderful and I lovemy childhood.
Honestly, I don't think I'lltake anything back from it.
It kind of played a role ofwhere I'm at today in life, even
though I had big roles as alittle girl.
(04:46):
I do appreciate my parents forthat.
I really do Certain things Ididn't understand because we
would only get like one or twopair of shoes every school year
and I always wished I had more.
But it was not until my fatherpassed away and I seen the
income that he had and thesacrifices that he made for us
and he made sure that we hadshelter.
(05:06):
He made sure that we were wellfed and well taken care of.
So coming into my adult life,when I was able to see it, I
understood more of what myparents had to sacrifice to get
us the better life that we havenow.
So I'm very grateful for that.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Yeah, you know, I often describe my childhood as
well, as we didn't always havewhat we want, but we always had
what we needed.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Yes, and that was love.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
Absolutely, and you say that with such love.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yes, because I come from a stable family where it
was not that we were rich oranything, but it was centered
around love.
And I watched my dad love mymother Like I can't say I ever
seen him put his hands on her,mistreat her or anything Like my
parents never even went to themovies or went on certain dates
because it's something thatthey're not used to, but I seen
(05:57):
them like come together and makeit happen for one another and
just build a family and build it.
It's like building a legacy,because back home they don't
have what we have, they don'thave the opportunity that we
have.
So for me it was definitelyraised from love.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
And speaking of back home, then have you visited
Haiti?
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Yes, so I know I say back home as if I was there, but
my parents, you know,originated from there, but I
would go every summer for aboutthree months.
I love it so much.
I haven't been back since 2016because that's when all the
chaos in Haiti started.
All the gangs took over thestreets.
So I haven't been back eversince.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
I bet that's hard to not go back and to know what
they're going through.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
By the grace of God, majority of my family has left
Haiti and came to the US.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Well, I'm glad to hear that most of them have been
able to come to the UnitedStates.
Yes, and three brothers.
How is that?
Speaker 2 (06:57):
It gave me tough skin .
I didn't have anybody to playBarbie dolls with but my
imaginary friend, but it gave metough skin.
I just was a tomboy for a verylong time until I hit my
freshman year of high school.
A young lady by the name ofPatricia, she moved across the
street from us and then shestarted to style my hair a
(07:19):
certain way.
So now I became more girly,wanting to get my nails done and
, you know, she just shifted mein a way.
So having a brother, brotherswas very nice because they were
overprotective of me.
My older brother, of course.
He went to high school beforeme.
So when I got to high school itwas like, yeah, this is my
little sister, y'all better notmess with her.
(07:39):
And then my little brother, weare very, very close.
The two that's under me, we'revery close.
So I love my brothers, I lovethem.
God did bless me with a cousin.
Like one of my cousins came toVids and she ended up living
with us for a few years.
That was also when I was inhigh school, transitioning into,
like, my girly phase.
So I consider her like mysister as well.
But I didn't have a sister at ayounger age where we could play
(08:02):
with Barbie dolls and you know,do all the fun stuff together.
But as I transitioned and Istarted getting my hair done and
my nails done, that wassomebody that took me under her
wing Like let's go, sister,let's go do this, let's go do
that.
So God did bless me in my likelater on.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
That's awesome At a time when, like you said, that
transitioning just as a girl initself can be very challenging,
so love that you had the supportthere for you.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Yes, I'm so grateful for it.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
So as you're getting older, you're in high school,
you know generally there's thewhole boyfriend thing, but you
also had brothers.
How was that?
Speaker 2 (08:39):
My brothers never really stopped me from having a
relationship.
They were more supportive.
They'll get to know whoever itwas I was dating at the time.
I don't feel like there was abrother that was like, hey, you
better leave my sister alone.
No, it was more like, hey, okay, what's going on?
So I didn't have mean brothers.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
And were you protective of them as they were
of you?
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Very, and being the older sister, I remember the
school would call me my brotherswhen they got in trouble, my
younger brothers when they gotin trouble in school.
They would be afraid to call mymom.
So they would call me.
But little did they know is I'mgoing to give you discipline as
well.
So I used to come out to theschool.
Big sister, stop being bad, youknow, embarrass them in front
of their friends.
(09:24):
But little school big sister,stop being bad, you know,
embarrass them in front of theirfriends.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
But I was always overprotective.
I've always been there tosupport them and help them make
better choices in life as well.
That's awesome.
I think it's great that youhave them and they have you.
So now in the introduction youhave quite the story, and I
always say on my podcast thatyou share what you're
comfortable sharing how you'recomfortable sharing it, and so I
(09:52):
always like to let the guestskind of take the lead.
So wherever you would like tostart in sharing that journey,
we are here to listen.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Okay, I have definitely endured a lot of
trauma and I'm so glad that Godhas gave me the strength to just
keep it moving.
I was in a five and a half yearrelationship where my partner
was a very good boyfriend.
Like he was a great boyfriend.
He put me through the beginningof my college.
(10:22):
He brought me my first car.
He was always there.
But everybody had flaws and hisflaw was kind of something I
should have walked away from assoon as I seen the red flags,
but I didn't.
So I remember once we had atiny argument and I was like you
know, I'm not going to talk tohim for a couple of days.
And this man pops up to one ofmy friend house and he's like oh
(10:43):
, come outside.
And I'm like how does he evenknow where I'm at?
I'm like you don't even knowwhere I'm at.
He was like oh, you think Idon't know where you at.
And I looked out the window andI seen his car.
I told him I was like listen,don't cause any trouble here,
leave and I'll meet you at home.
So he was like all right, yougot five.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
How early on in the relationship did that incident
occur?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Probably after a year and a half I want to say I'm
not too sure what the timeline,but that was the first red flag
that I did see.
And when I went outside to getthe car, I was telling my best
friend's brother-in-law to movethe car out the yard and while
he was doing so he came backaround the block.
And when he came back aroundthe block, he's like back around
(11:24):
the block.
He's like give me the car, giveme the car.
And I'm like you're not gonnado this right now.
Whatever, and I did not know,he had a gun.
The gun ended up falling, buthe picked it up and got in the
car and left.
So that was the first red flag,but I ignore it, being young
and dumb, um, so I went back tohis home and then I spoke to him
.
I was like you don't do nothinglike that, that's embarrassing.
I just put it on a shelf and Ikept going in that relationship
(11:47):
because he apologizedimmediately and promised it
would happen again.
It was another time.
This is the second red flagthat I've got and that I ignored
as well.
The second time, anotherincident happened and I was like
you know what, I'm going totake a break from him, just not
talk to him today.
Did I think we was broken up oranything like that?
No, so what happened is I gotin my car and then I was driving
(12:11):
.
I see a car behind me and whenI look back I'm like oh, that's
his mom's car.
She had a sign in the frontthat said blood of Jesus in
Creole.
So that's how I noticed it washer car.
So I pulled over to the side alittle bit and he jumps out the
car and I'm like why he looks soangry and he started to bang on
the window.
Pow, pow, pow, pow right.
He started to bang on thewindow and I'm like what's going
(12:32):
on?
So I drive off.
As I'm driving off, I looked atthe rear view mirror and I
noticed that he had a gun.
So the first time he didn'tshoot, he dropped a gun.
The second time he did shoot.
It pierced the back of my carand I kept driving.
The gun fell again.
So I do believe that was Godthat was dropping the gun all
this time, and God gave mechances.
(12:52):
But sometimes what we don'trealize is that we don't pay
attention to the red flags.
You know, sometimes we have tolook and say you know what this
person have anger issue.
Let me just walk away.
So I was speeding throughtraffic and I caught the 911
operator and as I'm driving I'mexplaining what's going on and I
(13:13):
made it to the police station.
So that day he did get arrestedand he was arrested for about, I
want to say, two to threemonths.
He was in there for a while andbeing dumb again, oh my God, I
hate to.
I really hate to see people injail because you know you don't
get treated good.
But at the same time, what I'velearned is some people earned
jail because of their actions,not able to control their
(13:36):
emotions, and that's what Ilearned later on.
So I ended up contacting hislawyer and saying, hey, I would
like to drop the charges, andthey still made him sit for a
month or two months or whateverthe time was right.
They still made him sit forthat amount of time and I
believe that the judge was fairbecause it was like you know
what, instead of me, just lethim go, let him get a taste of
(13:56):
what it's like to be behind bars.
When he came back out, we wasdoing wonderful.
Then he ended up doing federaltime for something that happened
before he even started talkingto me.
So he was gone for about threeand a half years.
I found out that he was talkingto somebody else, so I kept
hearing about this person andthen I'm like I brought it to
(14:17):
his attention Are you talking tothis person?
And he admitted that he wastalking to her.
That's why his phone was alwaysunder the bed when we went to
bed at night.
I wanted to leave at that timeand I felt like that was a
perfect opportunity to leave,but I cared too much about what
other people would think.
So in my mind I'm like, hmm, ifI leave, they're going to say I
(14:40):
used him.
If I leave, they're going tosay that I am using him for his
money.
I forgave him.
He came home.
She kept popping up again, so Itold him you have one last time
.
I remember one time we went tothe bar and while we was at the
bar and he was sitting there,his phone begins to ring.
So when his phone began to ring, I said who was that calling
you?
And then, once he realized thatthe number that he had saved
her under was a guy number, hetried to play it off.
(15:01):
I said, uh-uh, put on speaker.
And she spoke oh, we have eachother back, no matter what, and
this and that.
So I told him to drop me home.
He got extremely upset, so hedropped me home.
That night, I no longer hadintercourse with him.
I no longer went to certainplaces with him.
I no longer went back to hishouse.
Now this is October 2016.
(15:21):
So in January of 2017, I decidedto go to the park and have a
talk with him.
So we're talking at a park andhis phone was about to die.
So we went back to the house.
And when we went back to thehouse, he got a charger.
He said hey, my mom wants tosee you.
And I was like no, it's okay.
Like I don't want to go in yourhouse, you know.
(15:41):
So when we drive off, one of myfriends texts me and I laugh
and I'm like oh my gosh, she'sso funny.
He was like how did you forgiveher?
But you did not forgive me.
And I'm like, because you aremy partner and you continue to
do the same thing, her, she's afriend.
That incident was minor, so hegot so mad.
He was like don't worry, don'tworry, I'm tired of this.
He was like you treat me unfair.
(16:02):
And he was like you know what,if you move on, I'm going to
kill you in that N-word.
So then I took my phone.
I said say it again.
Say it again so I can recordyou.
So if anything happens to me,they know exactly who did it.
He got extremely quiet.
So then I calmed down and Ijust put my phone on my lap.
He took my phone, he threw itout the window.
(16:25):
So at that time I was startingmy last business.
I recently took a course and Ialso was selling waste trainers
around that time.
So all my vendors andeverything was good, and at that
age I wasn't good withpasswords.
So now I get extremely mad.
So we start going back andforth in the car and I was like,
let me out of the car.
He didn't want to let me out.
He was driving crazy, he wasrunning into cars, he was
running into all type of stuff.
So finally I was able to getout the car but I had a backpack
(16:46):
on.
So he grabbed my backpack andhe started to accelerate.
So I started to run backwardsand I fell on my rear and he
pressed the gas and my wholerear was.
The skin was off and I almostgot ran over by another car.
When this happens again, thisis another red flag that you're
just ignoring.
So after that date I decided tonot communicate with him.
(17:07):
No more, have no dealings withhim at all.
I went to the hospital.
I did not do any reports, whichI should have did reports.
I let it go.
So that was basically the donedata.
I'm not dealing with thisperson anymore.
He kept trying.
Valentine's Day he sent stuffto my mom's house a whole bunch
of balloons and teddy bears andchocolate.
(17:34):
I started dating the father ofmy child kind of after that
incident occurred, but it wasprivate.
So when it was finally hisbirthday, I posted him for the
first time.
And when I posted him for thefirst time, my ex-boyfriend went
crazy.
He was very upset, I believe.
I posted him and like 30minutes later he called me.
He was like is that your new in?
Let him know, we're going tobump heads.
We're going to bump heads andI'm like what?
And I was planning my dude atthe time's birthday.
(17:57):
I was getting a chef together,I had to go prepare a room, I
had to do so much stuff.
The father of my child contactsme.
He goes hey, what's up withlooking for my address?
So he started to ask for hisaddress and a friend notified
him.
Hey, be careful, because thisguy said he's looking for you.
(18:17):
At that time I was like youknow what I text him and I said,
hey, you know, you just got outof jail.
It's so much fish is in the sea, do not go messing anything up
for something that you did.
So, I guess because he couldn'tget the address.
He just made a U-turn.
I was still talking to myfriend trying to plan everything
, and then I started to hearfootsteps and then I hear
gunshots.
Immediately the Holy Spiritjust told me like he's here.
(18:39):
So I got up off my bed and Ilooked and I could see somebody
running across, but it didn'tmake sense to me.
So I got up and I went to theliving room and my dad was at
the door.
Two weeks prior, my dad changedthe doorknobs of the house.
I love to share this part ofthe story just to bring
awareness.
You know how on the inside youcan just lock it, the doorknob.
So my dad changed it from youneed the key on the inside and a
(19:02):
key on the outside.
So I told my father.
I said, dad, I don't think thatwas a good idea, but my dad had
his way, where it's like oh,you don't know, no better,
you're just a child.
And my dad carried a lot ofkeys.
He had multiple cars and he hadproperties in Haiti and he had
a ring with a whole bunch ofkeys.
So my dad looks at me.
He goes, oh, it's here the guy.
(19:28):
My ex-boyfriend is here.
So he's looking for the key.
And as I'm looking becauseeverything has happened so fast
as I'm looking, he ran this wayand I see him coming into the
gate and shooting again.
Mind you, he was shooting myfriend.
I didn't know he was shootingat him.
My dad is like run, he lockedthe door.
I ran and as I'm turning toclose the door, I see they're
tussling.
Instead of going into my room,which was immediately on the
left, I went straight down to mybrother's room because he
(19:49):
wouldn't know exactly where I am.
So I went into my brother'scloset and I threw some sheets
over me.
When I threw the sheet over me,I was on the phone with the
operator.
Yeah, this is what's going on.
This is my address.
I shared all the informationand I hear him tussling with my
father.
I seen him first, but he wasstill.
(20:10):
You could hear things falling.
And I told him he's.
I heard a gunshot, like onemore gunshot, pow, and I'm like
I think he shot my dad.
I think he shot my dad and Ihear everything falling.
So then I'm like he's going toget me next, he's going to get.
I started hanging.
I hung up the phone.
So when I hung up the phone, Iimmediately got scared.
(20:30):
And then I had a cousin that wasvisiting me from Haiti, from my
dad's side.
She was visiting, so I heardthe bathroom door open.
When it opened, I thought itwas him going door for door
looking for me.
So I got more scared.
I became more afraid.
She discovered him on the floorright.
So when she discovered him onthe floor, she started to scream
, which in Creole means uncle,uncle.
So as she's screaming, uncle,uncle, I'm like, oh my God, he's
(20:52):
about to kill her.
So I start to do a countdown.
So I'm like five, four, three,two, one.
And it wasn't until recentlythat I realized that God was
with me at that time, because Iwas like what made me count down
?
Like I've never been throughthis situation before.
I wasn't trained for thissituation.
So I was like what made mecount from five?
I was like five, four, three,two, one.
(21:13):
And when I ran out I seen herlike jumping around and I seen
him laying on the ground.
So then when I ran to him, Iseen his dentures was on the
floor, his wallet, his keysRemember, he was holding the
keys so everything just came outand I noticed that it was a
hole on his chest.
So as she's jumping aroundgoing crazy, I decided to apply
pressure on it and as I'mapplying the pressure, the blood
(21:35):
is coming out, like I'm like OK, he's gone.
His eyes was rolling back.
I was checking for a pulse.
I didn't feel anything.
It's as if he died immediately.
So I was just over him and I'mjust like I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry that this happened toyou.
I'm just apologizing to him.
I started kissing him all overhis face.
I'm like I'm so sorry orwhatever.
At this time I'm not losing mymind yet because I haven't fully
(21:57):
processed it.
The father of my child startedto call me and when he called me
and I answered, I said hey, hejust killed my dad, in a very
calm voice because it stilldidn't hit me.
Then I received another textmessage from the guy he texts me
.
He goes you broke my heart andthen I looked at the phone and I
put it back down.
So my other friend, the onethat ran he ran to another
(22:17):
neighbor's house.
The neighbor's brother ended upcoming over and when he came
over he was like what's going on?
What's going on and at thispoint I'm still calm because I
still haven't processed what wasgoing on and I told him I said
my ex just killed my dad.
He was like what I said, my exjust killed my dad.
So he walked in and he cameback.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
(22:38):
So I seen the officer come andI guess he was waiting for
backup because it was shooting.
So he didn't come along.
So when they actually came in,the paramedics came as well as
soon as they came in and theysaid that this is everybody to
get out, because now it's acrime scene.
That's when it hit me like, ohmy God, this is real, it's
actually happening.
I started crying you know thewhole process and they took me
(23:00):
in for questioning, answered allthe questions.
As I was getting questioned,they asked me was somebody else
involved in the shooting.
Did somebody else get shot?
I said no, I don't think nobodyelse got shot.
No, so what happened is when Icame back to the crime scene,
completely forgot that I wastalking to my friend, I seen the
vehicle.
So when I seen the vehicle, Iwas like, oh my God, he got shot
(23:23):
.
So I'm like, hey, did you guysremember?
You guys asked me, did somebodyelse get shot?
And I completely forgot that Iwas talking to my friend.
They was like okay, they wrotedown his information.
So not only did my father die,but for the next three days in
my mind, I thought he died aswell.
Three days later he camewalking into my mom's yard.
He had the hospital gown.
(23:44):
I was like, oh my God, thankGod you're alive, because I'm
already tripping about my dad'ssituation and I thought you were
gone.
He was like no.
So he got shot several times inthe legs, he got grazed a
couple of times and then he gotshot, but he was able to stand
up and walk and everything.
So I was like thank you God, bythe grace of God, that he's
still alive.
Through this trauma, throughthis experience that I went
(24:04):
through, I realized that as thedays were going by, bills were
still coming and at that time Iwas doing lashes at my mom's
house and actually that day thathe came, when everything
happened.
I was supposed to do somebodylashes that morning, but she
came late.
So I was very, very strict onmy time because I felt like once
somebody come late, they'regoing to always do it.
(24:24):
So because she was 15 minuteslate, I didn't have nobody after
her I did not take her.
It's like God made that happen,because would she have been in
the living room while I wasdoing her lashes, she would have
been a victim as well and Iwould have been dead.
It would have been three peopledead in one shot in the front.
So I thank God for that.
(24:45):
It was a lot and as everythingwas going, bills were still
going, so I had to pop open mylash bed and keep doing lashes.
My family members were comingto visit.
I had to take over.
After the funeral happened, Iused to tell my brothers like yo
, like y'all, need to step upand help me.
And one of my brothers lookedme in my eyes and he said this
is all your fault, so you haveto pay all the bills, and it
hurt my heart so bad.
(25:05):
So ever since then I workedextra hard.
I tried my best to make it meetfor my mom.
You know I tried my best to bethere for her, so that's one of
the main traumatic thing thathappened to me was my father's
death.
So he died in 2017.
We finally got justice lastyear, 2023.
He did get sentenced to life.
He got sentenced to two lifesentences, one for my father and
(25:28):
one for my friend that wasoutside.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Where was your mom during the whole incident?
Speaker 2 (25:35):
My mom that day.
She said that I caught herright Because she appeared about
15 minutes after everythinghappened.
And she told me I called herand I don't remember calling her
.
She was like Mika, you calledme.
And when she came to the sceneshe was like what's going on?
What's going on?
And she started to look aroundand she goes OK, mika's right
here, johnny's right here,jesse's right here.
(25:57):
She's looking around naming allher kids, like everybody that
live in the house, and she waslike where's Poppy?
Where's Poppy?
And I'm like, oh my God, how amI going to tell my mom this?
So the paramedics and theofficers were like ma'am, do you
have high blood pressure or doyou suffer from anything?
You know, just before she knowsthe news and she was already
putting two together becauseit's a crime scene.
(26:18):
There's an ambulance truckthere, you know just, and it
happened so fast, like theytaped it up so fast.
So she found out about it andit was a lot for her to deal
with, because my parents weremarried for over 30 years.
They were together not married,but together for over 30 years.
They came to America together.
They started a family together.
I don't know any other woman orany other men but my parents.
(26:39):
That was very hurtful for her.
I thank God that her sister wasable to come, because now that
she's here they actually aretogether, so she doesn't feel
alone.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Yeah, that's awesome when you came out of the closet
and you went to your dad.
Where was the ex-boyfriend atthat time?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
At that time I didn't know where he was.
He had gotten back into the carwhen officers finally came and
they wanted to question me.
I said I will not speak untilyou guys catch this person.
So when I went there they waslike, okay, we're going to take
you, we want you to point himout.
So I was like, okay, yeah, hegot arrested at his parents'
house.
He actually got arrested infront of his mother, father, his
family members.
(27:20):
He was able to go in and changehis clothes and shortly after.
Yes, immediately.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Wow.
You and I also had conversationabout what it was like for you
going to court.
Would you like to share?
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Oh my God, it was so frustrating because it was a
process that started over andover again.
So when we first started, thepublic defender that he had
didn't want to pick up his case.
So he kept saying, I have thiscase, I have that case.
So it kept, you know, justgoing backwards.
And then 2020 happened.
So when COVID happened, itpushed all the dates back.
(27:58):
Then, when he found a lawyer,you know the lawyer was very
rude.
He was just like, oh well, ifhe's like this, then why did you
marry him?
Or your dad would be alive,like he'll say certain things
just to make me angry, but itdidn't work because I guess he
tried to make me look crazy ormake it look like I have a bad
reaction.
(28:19):
That did not work.
That lawyer ended up gettingsuspended for a while.
So everything was on breakagain.
When it was time to come backto court like we started with
questioning and everything westarted the whole process.
We started trial.
He ended up getting suspended.
They paused the whole thing.
Then, when it was time for herto come back, he ended up
passing away the same lawyer.
So the lawyer passed away.
(28:40):
So they pushed everything backagain.
Finally, we was assigned to anew judge.
So this judge said you knowwhat?
This has been going on for toolong.
This needs to be done by theend of the year.
So this happened 2017, 2018,2019, 2020, 2021, 2022.
And then finally, in 2023, wewere able to finally start trial
in the ending of December In2024, in January he was finally
(29:03):
sentenced.
Start trial in the ending ofDecember In 2024, in January he
was finally sentenced.
It was very annoying becauseit's like you have to keep
reliving your trauma and it'sone thing to tell a story and
it's another thing to actuallysee everything.
The first time I didn't get tosee none of the evidence,
because it never made it thatfar, but I did have meetings
that I had to sit down with myattorney and, just you know,
(29:25):
just go over some things.
So I had to relive the moment,relive the moment, relive the
moment.
And finally, when courthappened, I had to sit outside.
So I had to hear my family tellme what they had to experience.
I wouldn't want my familymembers to experience what I
experienced, or nobody else, sothey had to hear the 911 call.
They had to see my reaction,how I was calm one minute, going
(29:46):
crazy the next minute calm,another minute.
Going crazy the next minute.
I was just all over the placenot understanding that somebody
that I love just killed somebodythat I love as well.
For my mom, I felt really badbecause you know, when you go
through these court processes,the medical examiner comes, so
you're seeing body parts, you'reseeing the brain, you're seeing
the bloody scenes.
(30:06):
My mom didn't see the bloodyscenes.
Yes, she's seen a little bit ofresidue, because when they
clean up they don't really cleanup thoroughly.
So to see him laying down therelifeless although I faced my
own trauma, I know it's atraumatic experience for her to
see her husband in thatsituation and it wasn't his
fault.
He did not deserve that.
(30:27):
He came to America just for abetter life and to provide for
his kids.
So for that to happen, I knowit hurt them a lot and it hurt
my family.
This whole situation hurt myfamily a lot.
One of my brother became analcoholic and then another one
of my brother he started reallysmoking marijuana.
But one thing that I did say Isaid when I go through this, I'm
not going to drink or I'm notgoing to smoke, I'm not turning
(30:49):
to drugs.
And I didn't have time toreally grieve because I had to
go back to work and because ofmy story, because of what took
place, I was so booked, so manypeople started to find out about
me and find out about mybusiness and they started to
support me.
So I was working nine to nine,nine to nine, nine to nine, so I
didn't have time to grieve tilllike later on.
(31:10):
I'm very thankful because theysaid that a lot of time trials
doesn't go that long.
Usually they'll just pleadguilty and then be over with.
So a lot of the people that cameto the court that was from the
city that was working at thepolice department at that time
the detectives, a lot of themremember my dad's situation.
There was one lady she actuallyis an officer in a whole
(31:31):
different state now and she camedown and she was like I can
remember your story like it wasyesterday.
She was like your story wasdifferent, like I remember your
dad.
I remember the way you panicand I got to sit with her like
outside.
Your dad, I remember the way youpanic and I got to sit with her
like outside and I spoke to herfor a while and she was like I
would never miss this.
She said I had to be here, likeI had to be here, and then one
(31:52):
of the crime scene investigatorsthat was there she no longer
worked for them as well.
She also told me your storyreally impacted me and showed me
a different, you know life, ofthings that can happen and I
never experienced it before.
So she made sure that she wasthere.
So I was very grateful foreverybody that came out and
didn't give up on us.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Do you feel like you ended up having more support
than you ever realized in goingthrough this?
Yes, I have a very big familyand they flew from all over.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
I have a very big family and they flew from all
over.
And another thing was like mydad had life insurance for a
while and the life insurance hehe told him I never received my
packet was going on.
I keep asking you guys forinformation.
He was like you know what I'mgoing to go ahead and change.
So literally three monthsbefore he passed away, he
(32:42):
changed his life insurance to adifferent company and because
was so new and fresh, it didn'tcover anything.
So thank god for having a bigfamily, because with haitians
our culture when somebody passesaway, everybody comes together
and bring money.
So he was able to have awonderful, wonderful funeral
ceremony.
Um, we had about 300 guests orprobably plus, like the
(33:03):
community came out verysupportive.
So I really thank God for a lotof things.
Thank God for my family as well.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Absolutely.
You know it had to be tough tomove forward with court hanging
over your head.
How did you get through that?
How did you manage that?
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Grace of God, I had to keep going.
My dad trained me growing up,like everything that he taught
me, it played on, it benefitedme during that time, during that
season, because I had to get up.
And you know what?
I got to handle this FPL.
I got to handle this, I have tohandle that.
So there's a lot of stuff thathe put in me that I was like,
(33:45):
okay, I kept myself busy,basically Because if I was free
I probably would have just wentcompletely crazy.
After my dad passed away, I wentto the cemetery every single
day for about three months andthen my mom, she came out there
one time and she was like leavehim alone, you're not letting
him rest, just leave him alone.
And then after that day Ireally haven't been back and I
don't really plan on going back,because something my pastor
(34:07):
said is like when you're goingto the cemetery, you're not
visiting anybody.
The soul is already gone, it'sleft from the body.
So you know you're just goingto the cemetery and I'm like you
know what?
He's absolutely right.
I would always kiss my dad.
I'm a very affectionate person,so I would kiss.
I was kissing him.
I remember being in the kitchenlike he was cleaning, he was
mopping the floor and I waskissing him.
I was like I love you and helooked at me a certain way, like
(34:28):
you know, like you know, thatmemory lives with me forever
because I had a sweet momentwith my father before it
happened and, um, you know, I'm,I'm just, I'm grateful for it.
Honestly, I'm grateful for it.
It was challenging I'm notgoing to say it was easy, but I
feel like the best thing that Idid was to keep going.
(34:49):
Life goes on after death.
Was there a moment for you whereit all just kind of hit the
grief and the loss and all ofthat.
Of course, the funeral homeallowed us to see his body
before he got embalmed, um, sothey covered him in a blanket
(35:09):
and only his head was like hisface was out the only thing.
And I went me my mom, my aunt,they allowed the family, the
immediate family, to come and Ijust released it all like I
cried so much I couldn't hold it, you know, and I am a feet
person, like I love I love feet.
So I went to my, you know, andI am a feet person, Like I love
feet.
So I went to my dad and I wouldalways mess with his feet and I
was just holding onto his feetand I was just crying so hard
(35:31):
Like I can't believe this ishappening right now, Like I
can't believe this is real.
And even at the extra funeral Ididn't hear nothing they were
talking about.
I had a boo-hoo cry the wholetime because it was just a
feeling of guilt, because myfather at one point didn't want
him around, like didn't like theguy for me anymore, Because
they ended up finding out thathe shot at my car, like later on
(35:53):
when they went to go pick himup for the federal case.
So after that time my fathernever wanted me to be with him
anymore and I'm like it's all myfault.
I should have listened.
Like you know, your parentsknow best and even though we
don't understand that at thetime, at the moment but the
parents, your parents, willalways want what's best for you
and I didn't realize that tillafter and I had so much guilt
(36:14):
I'm like this is all my fault.
This is somebody that I pickedto love.
I blamed myself for a longperiod of time, Even sometimes,
like when I sit down like I justrecently purchased a home, I'm
like you know, my dad sacrificedhis life to come to America for
a better life.
I was like he would be so happyto see me in this home.
Like I think about it all thetime.
I always say, man, I'm soblessed that I had the father
(36:35):
that I had.
He didn't abandon us, he didn'tleave us for dead.
He really was a real man.
So when I date, I should lookat people that have the same
mindset as my father, that wantsto provide for the family, that
wants the sweet love that youknow just understand the
importance of family.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
What does forgiveness look like for you?
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
God, that was the hardest thing to do, ok, so it
was very hard.
I had a lot of bitterness in myheart.
So in 2019, I remember gettingon my knees and I said God, give
me the ability to forgive thisman.
Like I don't want to take thisinto the next year, like I want
to be able to release it.
(37:16):
You know, and I prayed about itand I'm not going to lie it,
just it wasn't easy because Ihad to keep seeing him and when
everything first happened, heflicked a birdie at my brother.
So you know, it made him morehurtful, more intense, like you
know what you did.
But I did forgive him.
I had to in order to move on,in order to not be in a dark
(37:36):
space.
In January 2024, during hissentencing, we were able to
speak to him.
Just final statements.
My mom spoke, my brothers hadthe opportunity to speak and I
was one that spoke and I waslike you know what?
I forgive you, you know, butyou made a bet and you have to
lay in it.
And I was like God gave you somuch chances.
I seen the red flags and Iignored them and I said God gave
(37:58):
you so much chances.
I said the first time you know,you dropped a gun.
The second time you pierced abullet and you dropped a gun and
the third time you actuallykilled somebody.
So you had chances.
So it wouldn't be fair for youto be released running the
streets wild because God gaveyou your chances.
So now you have to lay in thatbed.
But I do believe even my momforgave him.
I forgave him, my older brotherforgave him.
(38:20):
It's just one of my brotherthat he hasn't gotten to the
forgiving part yet.
Like he's not there yet and Icannot force him.
That's something that he willhave to do on his own.
But honestly, I forgave him.
I did Like I had to, likethat's the only way that I was
able to keep going.
And did you forgive yourself?
Yes, eventually I did, becauseI had to realize that my dad did
(38:45):
what any father would do.
He told me to run, he wasprotecting me.
He's a superhero.
It's so crazy that I had aconversation with my father
probably like two weeks before.
It's like family members werecalling us, like oh, we see,
we're having dreams thatsomebody is robbing the house
and we're having dreams aboutthis and having that.
And what my father told me.
My father said if I die, itwon't matter to me.
(39:07):
He said I accomplishedeverything I wanted to
accomplish in life.
He said I came to America, Igave my family a better life and
in the house where my parents'house are paid off.
And he said I paid the houseoff so if anything ever happened
to my kids where they can'tafford a home, they always have
a home that they can go back to.
So I think about that a lot.
(39:27):
And another thing that I thinkabout what my dad said a couple
months before that is you see,your mother.
I love her and I would doanything for her.
Whatever I can do for her, Iwill do it because at my lowest
she was there.
When I got sick, she was there.
She didn't miss no doctorappointments.
She was always there.
Those two things live with meand I hear it all the time.
It's as if I could hear hisvoice just speaking to me.
(39:50):
Our life was written before wewere even born.
So I do believe that it wassupposed to happen the way it
happened, even though it'sunfortunate, because I feel like
God has given me a voice tospeak and I'm training the bad
for good.
I want to get out into thecommunity and speak about
controlling our emotions,because majority of the people
(40:11):
that is incarcerated is becausethey couldn't control their
emotions Boyfriends killinggirlfriends, girlfriends killing
boyfriends.
I do believe that a lot of mystory, a lot of my trauma, is
testimonies as well.
Because I survived it, I'm ableto speak about it and hopefully
my story can change others.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Absolutely.
It starts with one voice, right?
Yes, Controlling your feelings.
Love that you're bringing thatto light.
Is there anything you wouldlike to add in regards to that
topic of controlling youremotions?
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Controlling your emotions is very important
because in a second your lifecan change.
One wrong decision.
Your life can change because,like I said, this guy has so
much potential and, just likethat, now you're behind bars for
the rest of your life.
And when I look at the videobecause our neighbor had a
camera that was facing towardsthe house and when I look at the
(41:09):
video, everything happened in afew seconds, not even a minute.
Him coming up, coming out thecar, shooting this person, going
back to the car.
He shot with one gun.
He went back to the car and hewent and got a bigger gun and
then went in the house.
In those few seconds of youbeing angry and not being able
to calm down, you lost your life.
(41:30):
Two people died behind us andone person got injured behind us
, just because of you notcontrolling your emotions.
One mistake, you only take onemistake.
That's what I would mean.
Now I learned how to control myanger because I feel like with
the trauma, with all my traumastogether, it's like I learned
(41:51):
how to control my emotions.
I'll shut down, I won't talk.
I will just try my best not toget control my emotions.
I'll shut down, I won't talk.
I will just try my best not toget out of character and I don't
feel like some peopleunderstand me, like some people
will be like why are you nottalking or why are you not
engaging with me?
And it's not that.
It's like I don't want to saythe wrong thing, I don't want to
go beyond myself.
Like it's very important,that's something that's very
(42:12):
important for me.
It's just controlling myemotions.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
What advice would you give to your younger self?
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Pay attention to those red flags.
Red flags, red flags.
That is very important to payattention to the red flags.
If you see somebody is able topull out a gun once, they'll do
it twice.
Sorry sounds good, but is theperson really sorry?
My advice to my younger self ispay attention to the red flags
and don't be afraid to walk away.
God will give you much, muchmore a better person that
(42:42):
understands you, somebody thatwill control their emotions.
So that would be the advice Igive my younger self.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Thank you for sharing .
Now your journey has broughtyou to where you are today and
wanting to establish thisnonprofit.
Can we take a minute and youtell us about that?
Speaker 2 (43:15):
friends.
I want it to be somethingthat's nationwide.
I want to travel and speakabout it.
I want to go to schools andeducate students.
It's very important that weattack our youth first, because
they are the main ones that aregoing through the emotional
phase where they're learningtheir stuff at that time.
So you know, it's veryimportant to speak to them as
well.
In my venue that I'm opening,since it's a community outreach,
I do plan on teaching financialliteracy.
(43:36):
I do want to gather peopletogether that can come and speak
to our community about what'sgoing on.
My goal is to tell people aboutcontrolling their emotions, and
I feel like it's very important.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Yeah, you're definitely on to something there
.
So, kudos, keep moving forwardas it it evolves.
And you have more information,please pass it on and I will
share it with the audience aswell, and quickly tell us about
your ebook.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
Yes, so I do have a personal credit ebook that I
will be releasing soon.
I myself, in my adult life, hasalways been doing cash, cash,
cash cash until it was time topurchase my house.
During the process of my house,I see how important it was.
So after purchasing my home, alot of people started asking me
like, oh, what did you do?
And I'm like you know one ofthe main things that you need is
(44:26):
credit.
And I realized that a lot of myfamily and friends are in the
five 600, like lower creditscores.
And you know, I startedinvesting and learning more
about credit.
So I put all of my knowledgethat I have learned into one
book.
It's full of information.
It's literally full ofinformation.
It could take you from to 500to the 750s, maybe 800.
(44:48):
To fix your credit, if you goto a credit person, they'll have
you pay $1,000, $2,000 when youcould just purchase an ebook
for about 68 bucks, and it'llhave all the information
there,000, $2,000 when you couldjust purchase an ebook for
about $68.
And it'll have all theinformation there.
So you just have to read it andget it done.
You just have to take action.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
Yep All the information at your fingertips
right.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Yes, it's there.
The extra bonus that's in there.
It has 20 different disputeletters.
So it's phenomenal it has somuch information in there.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
All right, I can't wait to see it, so very excited
for that.
So this is going to be great.
Micah, thank you for being myguest today on the I Need Blue
podcast.
Of course, it was a pleasure,absolutely, and thank you for
listening.
No-transcript.
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