May 26, 2025 • 34 mins
When a desperate mother walked into a foster care group home asking for help, the psychologist's response, "until something bad happens, I can't help you," led her to say, "If you don't help me, something bad is going to happen."
This moment sparked the creation of Safe Families for Children, an organization that now spans over 100 chapters across the U.S. and internationally. Safe Families addresses the needs of vulnerable parents by offering volunteer-based support networks, connecting families to resources and providing temporary care, ensuring children are supported without resorting to foster care.
Jessie, Director of the Treasure Coast Chapter, shares how Safe Families fosters connections through host families, day support from family friends, and coaches who help parents achieve their own goals. Focusing on dignity and peer relationships, Safe Families combats the root causes of family crisis—lack of support, homelessness, and childcare issues—without imposing external judgments. By empowering parents and validating their strengths, Safe Families builds resilience and offers a path for families to weather crises and stay together.
As mentioned in the episode:
Safe Families for Children – Treasure Coast
- Intake line: 772-217-9066
https://treasurecoast.safe-families.org
Contact Jesse Ray about volunteering: jray@safefamilies.net
Hope for Family Center:
- 720 4th Street, Vero Beach, FL 32962
- 772-567-5537
https://hopeforfamiliescenter.org
Indian River, United Against Poverty:
- 1400 27th Street, Vero Beach, FL 32960
- 772-564-9365
https://unitedagainstpoverty.org/campus/indian-river
St. Lucie Count, United Against Poverty:
- 2520 Orange Ave, Fort Pierce, FL 34947
- 772-468-8543
https://unitedagainstpoverty.org
Treasure Coast Homeless Services:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You never think it will happen to you until it does
.
One moment.
Life is normal, routine,predictable, and then suddenly
you're fighting to survive.
I'm Jennifer Lee, a survivorauthor and host of I Need Blue
(00:24):
podcast.
You belong are loved,understood and empowered to
share.
Welcome to season five.
Listen to I Need Blue on ApplePodcasts, spotify, youtube or
your favorite listening platform.
(00:46):
Learn more at wwwineedbluenet.
Before we get started, I mustshare a trigger warning.
I Need Blue shares real lifesurvivor stories, including
discussions of trauma, violenceand abuse.
These conversations are meantto empower, support and let
(01:10):
others know they are not alone.
Please prioritize yourwell-being and ask for help if
needed.
Now let's get started withtoday's story.
Every child deserves a safe andloving home, but sadly, 75% of
children in foster care arethere because of unmet needs in
(01:34):
their families.
These numbers are not juststatistics.
They represent real lives,children and families who need
our support.
Today I welcome Jesse, theDirector of Safe Families for
Children, the Treasure CoastChapter.
This incredible organization isdedicated to strengthening
(01:58):
families, preventing child abuseand neglect and working
tirelessly to reduce the numberof children who enter the foster
care system unnecessarily.
Jessie is here to educate andshare how you can make a
difference and help support yourcommunity.
Jessie has poured her heartinto community development work
(02:23):
for years.
She's worked with severalnonprofits from Virginia to
Florida and is always deeplycommitted to helping others.
A lifelong resident of VeroBeach, she feels incredibly
blessed to serve with safefamilies.
Jessie is a loving wife.
(02:43):
Families Jessie is a lovingwife, mom and Enneagram coach,
guiding others in their journeysoutside of her work.
Today, let's learn how we cancontribute to the change and
support these families beforeit's too late.
Jessie, thank you for being myguest today and welcome to the I
(03:05):
Need Blue podcast.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Oh, thank you so much for having me.
It's a pleasure to be with you.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Of course, you and I had an opportunity to talk
before this interview so I couldlearn a little bit more about
Safe Families, the TreasureCoast chapter.
You shared the history and thestory and how Safe Families came
about based out of a need.
Can you share that story withthe audience?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Sure Safe Families for Children started over 20
years ago in Chicago Illinois.
Our founder, dave Anderson, wasworking in a foster care group
home as a licensed psychologist.
A mom came in asking for help.
She was frantic, trying to askfor help with her children, and
(03:56):
of course it hadn't occurred tohim that her children weren't
there in the group home orweren't in foster care.
So he was asking who's yourcase manager?
And you know who have youtalked to before, you know?
Trying to point her to theright person.
And it turned out that sheactually did not have a case
manager.
Her children had not beenremoved, but she was in a crisis
(04:16):
and she didn't know where elseto go for help.
And so she walked into thedoors of a foster care group
home and this was 20 years ago,so there were not a lot of other
options.
When he tells this story, hevery defeatedly, you know,
looked back at this mom and justsaid I'm really sorry, but
until something bad happens Ican't help you.
(04:37):
But she was very brave and shewould not take that for an
answer.
And she looked back at him andsaid you don't understand that
if you don't help me, somethingbad is going to happen.
So this was a mom who clearlycared about her children, loved
her kids, was concerned fortheir well-being, but there was
(04:59):
no structure, there was noorganization, there was no
opportunity for her to go andget help on the front end.
There was no organization,there was no opportunity for her
to go and get help on the frontend.
So, being a Christian, dave'sin a small group with his church
and his small group that nightand said I had a really lousy
day at the office and you knowhe's telling the story of this
(05:23):
mom and just really waslamenting how the church had
really stepped back.
And for so long in our churchhistory, even from ancient
church history, christians werethe ones who were helping in
Rome and caring for the lame andthe vulnerable and the babies
who had been discarded outsidethe city, and we were the ones
who started orphanages in theUnited States.
This has been a part of ourchurch history for so long to
(05:45):
care for the vulnerable.
Over the last several decadeswe'd really stepped back and he
was lamenting that and sayingwhat if there was a way that we
could get involved beforesomething bad happened?
What would that look like forus to really help families who
want help.
They're not abusing theirchildren, they just are
struggling and they don't knowwho to call in this time of
(06:09):
crisis.
His group, his friends, werereally inspired by that.
They wanted to help him andthey said we will, you know,
we'll help you, dave.
So he and his wife, karen tookthese children into their home,
mom resolved her crisis and thenkids went back to mom, and so
that was really how SafeFamilies was born.
It was this very organic,heartfelt, you know, passion and
(06:33):
desire to want to strengthenfamilies and support them in the
ways that all of us haveexperienced.
So many of us have friends, wehave family members, you know.
We have relatives that we cancall when something crazy starts
to happen or if we hit a roughpatch.
And it's just shocking how manypeople that we encounter now
(06:56):
who don't have that kind ofsupport system, for whatever
reason.
Sometimes it's moving away, youknow, sometimes it's more
complicated than that, but atthe end of the day, it's just
that desire to have somebodysafe that you trust with your
kids, that you trust is going tohave your back and is in your
corner and rooting for you.
And so that's really how StayFamilies got started.
(07:16):
It was just this very organicvision of how can we become like
extended family to people inour community who don't have
anyone, so that they can keeptheir kids safe and so that
their family can stay together.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
I think that's great and you brought up a couple of
really great points, you know.
Number one we take for grantedthose healthy relationships that
we have, like you said, whetherwe have a trusted babysitter
and you're right, not everybodyhas that, and that's where you
all want to create awareness, sonobody has to wake up and say,
(07:51):
oh my gosh, I'm in crisis, whatdo I do?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
now it is.
We see that regularly.
It's often single moms notalways, but often single moms
who are low income and they'vebeen in survival mode.
You know this was how they wereraised.
That's what they're used toseeing.
They've been making it on theirown, you know they've had to
figure it out and so they'reoften very resourceful.
(08:15):
You know, and very adept at,you know, navigating different
resources.
But the place where they canoften get stuck is who watches
my kids.
But the place where they canoften get stuck is who watches
my kids.
That is a lot of what we havestarted to see, and you know.
Be able to respond to parentswho finally, are willing to
acknowledge I need somebody else.
You know I need to be able tocall someone else for my
(08:36):
children.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Absolutely.
You know, they say everythingis figureoutable.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I will figure it out this woman daily.
Right, I will figure it outthis woman daily right?
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yes, and you know, it's true, you manage to figure
things out, but I guess thequestion is what support have
you had along the way?
What resources were there tohelp you as you figured it out?
Can we talk about the differentvolunteer programs that you
have to offer these families?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Of course.
Really what evolved from thedifferent needs that our Chicago
headquarters was seeing, andthen Safe Families, grew very
quickly.
You know we have over.
I think we're at 100 chaptersor something across the United
States.
We've been in the UK for gosh12 or so years.
We have a network in Canada.
(09:28):
It very quickly grew to thesense of people go, oh my gosh,
we need this in our community.
And so what evolved from well,how can we serve families with
different types of requests forhelp has been what we call our
circle of support.
The national office submittedthis for research and it's been
reviewed and evaluated.
(09:49):
The circle of support is nowvetted as an evidence-based
model, which is pretty cool.
It's been proven that this cannow keep children out of foster
care and that they can receivethe same level of support as
even like in-home services fromchild welfare agencies.
So that can look like a fewdifferent roles.
(10:10):
What started in that sort oforiginal crisis is what we call
our host family opportunity.
So there are some situationswhere it's not safe or, you know
, maybe the parent is living intheir car and they just want to
give their kids a break whilethey're trying to get into their
next apartment or place to live.
It could be that maybe a parentis finally ready to go into a
(10:34):
treatment center for a drugaddiction.
Part of what's been holdingthem back is that I don't know
who's going to keep my kids.
I don't want them to go intofoster care just because I'm
finally going to get treatment.
It could be domestic violence,you know.
It could be that there is anunsafe situation and I want to
have my kids stay somewhere safeovernight, and so that's what
our host families can do is thatthey can keep children in their
(10:57):
homes overnight without parentslosing custody.
So this is a voluntaryarrangement.
We fully vet our volunteers.
But it is an opportunity forthe parent to say I need to know
that my kids are in a safeplace so that I can go and focus
on this other stuff that'sgoing on.
So it's voluntary.
(11:17):
The parent chooses toparticipate in that way.
Nothing is forced.
We have legal paperwork, wehave all the safety paperwork,
things like that that they agreeto it's for a set amount of
time, and then we stay incommunication with the parent.
They get to see their childrenthroughout the week.
You know we set up times forthem to talk and see each other
so it doesn't feel like theirmom or dad has now abandoned
(11:41):
them.
We minimize the trauma for thechild.
They stay in relationship withtheir parent.
It's just like, okay, you'regoing to go stay with Miss
Jessie for a little while, youknow, while while mama goes to
work on these apartments orsomething Right?
So sometimes it has to beovernight hosting, but it
doesn't have to be.
We work very closely with ourchildcare centers and our
(12:02):
homeless shelters to offersupport to families.
So these are families they needthat day help.
Sometimes it's more about theparents or the grandparent who
needs a friend We've had agrandparent raising a grandchild
or the single parent who's justlonely and they don't have
friends and they need someone totalk to, and so that's what we
call our family friend role,which can, like I said, be
(12:26):
focused more on the adult or onthe child.
My family and I we are going todo day hosting this Saturday.
We are family friends with amom at the Hope for Family
Center right now.
They have, like I said,overnight shelter, but
occasionally mom has to work onthe weekends and so she can call
us and she has another familyfriend and so we'll keep her
(12:48):
kiddo during her day shift andthen at the end of her shift we
take him back to mom.
We get to bond with him and weget to bond with her.
So that's our family friendrole.
We also have what we call ourfamily coaches.
So this is one of theprofessional pieces that we hold
.
You know we're a smallprofessional team.
We want to be professionallysupported, make sure we're
following guidelines and ourfidelity model all of those
(13:11):
kinds of things that theassignments are being overseen
by more well-versed in communityresources.
They will support a parent whomaybe they do need to fill out
job applications and they needsome job coaching on how to
prepare for the interview.
(13:32):
Maybe they need help withmedical appointments, sort of
navigating some of the medicalsystem either for themselves or
for their child, and so thecoach might let them know about
different resources and placesthey can go.
It's been as simple as theyneed help paying for groceries,
and so we say do you know aboutUnited Against Poverty?
Coaches are going to help ourfamilies connect to the
(13:54):
additional community resources.
Besides, just Save Families,that will help them stabilize
and really be able to staytogether.
So those are our three mainvolunteer rules within the
circle of support.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
That's a lot of great information and I took away a
lot of things, and some of themI want to dig a little bit
deeper.
The first one is I love hearingthe collaboration with other
nonprofits in the community.
That is great, so thank you forthat.
And one of the things that yourecently said is you're kind of
a smaller organization andthat's by design, right.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yes, the vision was always to mobilize volunteers.
We wanted to mobilize thecommunity to be better neighbors
, you know, to come alongsidefamilies.
There's such a difference whenyou have that peer-to-peer
relationship than just theprofessional to client
relationship.
We value the professionalservices in our community.
(14:52):
We're very focused on this isour lane, we're very relational.
You know, that is the gap thatwe fill and we couldn't see and
support families in all of thedifferent ways that they need it
without our community partners.
So collaboration is huge to us.
I tell this story a lot.
If I've been to the doctor orif I was working with a
professional in some way andthey make a recommendation to me
(15:15):
, I go.
Oh, thank you very much.
You know it's a goodinformation.
But when I'm struggling, I needto make a change around how I'm
living, when it comes to whetheror not I'm going to work out or
eat right.
Or, you know, when I'mfrustrated with my kids and I'm
trying to remember what thatparenting educator said about
something, I'm not going to callthe expert.
(15:35):
I'm not going to call my doctor.
That's not who I turn to forsupport.
I'm going to call my friendwho's willing to go walk the
bridge with me or go for a walkinstead of going out for drinks
or something like that.
I call my friend who's had achild with special needs and
needed to go through the schoolsystem.
And how do you apply for a 504plan and what's an IEP and how
do we do that right?
(15:56):
I can ask questions ofprofessionals, but it's my
friends who are really going towalk me through it and help make
that difference in my life.
And that's the other importantpiece for us if we can take out
that power dynamic between theprofessional and the client
scenario and help it feel likeit's peer to peer.
We very intentionally don'tstipend our host families
(16:18):
because that makes it feel alittle bit more forced.
It makes it feel a little bitmore like foster care and we are
really trying to create thatfamilial like relationship,
absolutely.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And you know, going back to having that friend to
talk, to get advice, sometimeswhat we need is as simple as
just someone to listen,absolutely.
Yeah, we forget about that.
We're so engaged witheverything right Social media
and whatnot that sometimes justa lending ear is all we really
(16:53):
need.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Well, and what's really neat about that is many
of us know that intuitively andthat relationships matter, that
these social connections,listening matters.
It's become a joke in somerelationships, right, Like, I
just want you to listen, I don'tneed you to fix it.
And so sometimes our volunteerscan feel overwhelmed and they
go oh my gosh, there's so manyneeds, Like I don't know how to
(17:14):
help them.
We say we're not asking you tosolve all their problems, we're
not asking you to fix it all.
We're asking you to be present.
We use the phrase being afaithful presence in their lives
.
You are that steady, that calm,reassuring connection.
When they're freaking out aboutsomebody in their family
calling them, asking for help orsomething that's happened with
(17:37):
their kids, and when you canbring that calm and that support
and that encouragement just bylistening, it makes all the
difference.
And the science is backing thatup.
Now you know all of theresearch is showing how
important that is.
So you know we tell ourvolunteers it can feel like a
lot, but we're not asking you toown that, we just want you to
be that friend you know, to bethat good listener in their
(17:59):
lives.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah, by simply listening, you're telling that
person that you matter, yourfeelings matter, your thoughts
matter, you matter, right, it'sso important thoughts matter,
you matter, right, it's soimportant, yes, and the
difference that that makes inconfidence.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
We talk about resilience.
There's an evidence-basedframework called the protective
factors, so that's kind of themethod behind our madness.
You know people go ohrelationships and that's kind of
squishy, but there is science,there is research backing up
what we do and why we do it, andit builds resilience.
Families have hope, and whenfamilies can self-report that
(18:38):
they're feeling more confidentand you know some of these
different criteria than thatframework then that's what
builds their persistence andtheir ability to then be able to
push through hard times andkeep going and not give up.
And then they're less likely tospiral and they know where to
go for help so that even ifsomething happens again and
which it often does they'restill more able to navigate
(19:02):
those challenging circumstances.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Absolutely.
How do you assist?
Let's say, the parent isharboring feelings of I'm not
good enough, I'm not a goodparent, I can't take care of my
child.
How do you support them?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
we talk about a strengths-based approach.
It's certainly moreindividualized per parent, you
know, kind of depends on theirsituation.
But yes, our coaches andvolunteers, we train them and
paying attention to the good,you know, finding the strengths
in what they're doing, whateverit might be like.
We call those out so that theycan can have some perspective
(19:41):
and hopefully put the judgmentdown and learn to be
compassionate with themselvestoo.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Yeah, the validation can be really hard to ask for
help.
It can be a very humbling thingand that could be part of the
reason really hard to ask forhelp.
It can be a very humbling thingand that could be part of the
reason people don't ask for help.
They don't want to feel likethey failed or something.
But at the end of the day theydidn't fail and you show them
like, listen, here's all of theamazing things that you are
doing within your control andnow let us help you further
(20:09):
advance where you are right now.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
You know we work directly with the parent.
That's.
Our initial conversations withthem are around what are your
goals?
This isn't about imposing ourstandards what we think is a
good child care center or whatwe think you know should be
their top priority and it'sabout working with them to
really kind of realize thedreams for themselves and help
(20:33):
them, you know, be able to calmdown enough, right, that's that
crisis mode.
But then once they're calm andkind of out of their brainstem
and able to start to thinkcritically again and, you know,
dream again, we say what areyour goals?
You know where would you liketo start.
What do you think would make thebiggest difference for your
family?
You know where would you liketo start.
What do you think would makethe biggest difference for your
family?
We really let them lead when itcomes to goal setting so that
(20:54):
it feels like a win for them.
Right, it's something theychose and that they accomplished
for themselves and that it'salso sustainable for their
family.
It's not a crime to live inyour car, it's not a crime to be
homeless, and if they're makingthat work and a lot of families
do it then great way to be aresourceful parent and you are
still providing for yourchildren.
(21:14):
We really work within whatmakes sense for them and their
situation and what they feellike is going to be most helpful
to getting their family to thatnext level of stability.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
For however they want to define that, you know the
question how can I help you isso powerful, especially as
parents, because you're in thatcaregiver role of you know
you're helping, helping, helpingthat to have someone come in
and say how can I help you ispowerful.
Can you share some additionalreasons why a parent might reach
(21:45):
?
Speaker 2 (21:45):
out.
I think our top three reasonsthat parents call us are lack of
support and homelessness andlack of child care.
Those are usually some of thefirst things that we start to
address Now.
Housing obviously is far morechallenging in the last two and
a half years than it waspreviously, but we are always
(22:06):
keeping up with what are the newopportunities in our community
and who are the Treasure CoastHomeless Services Council and
United Against Poverty orCommunity Services.
What are those resources?
How can we help them navigatethose?
But sometimes it's more focusedon that lack of support and
they just really need a friend.
We've had several single momsrecently who were just lonely.
(22:28):
Maybe their children had somechallenging behaviors.
It might not be appropriate forus to host them or even day
host them right away, but it'show can we support you?
Where are you feeling the mostdiscouraged?
Does that need to be anotherreferral?
You know we've certainlyconnected people and pointed
them to, like the Mental HealthAssociation, or you know other
(22:49):
counseling types and teams.
You know other counselingservices, things like that.
So sometimes it is more of adirect referral, but other times
it is that friending, it isthat child support.
So those are the top threereasons that they come to us Do
people find you on their own orare they generally referred to
you?
That's a great question.
(23:10):
We often get referrals fromorganizations, but families can
self-refer.
That happens a lot too,especially, you know, the longer
we're in a community, and thenother families talk about us to
other folks and you know, oh mygosh, they were so helpful to me
, you should call them.
And so there is some of thathappening for sure.
It kind of comes in waves, isreally what we've seen.
(23:32):
Last year we had a few parentswho ended up needing to do short
jail sentences and they neededsomeone to watch their kids.
So we did that last year acouple of times.
So yeah, it kind of comes inwaves.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
What ages do you serve?
Speaker 2 (23:48):
The majority of children are under the age of 10
, but we can support 0 to 17.
If they are 18, then we wouldconsider them an adult and there
have been a couple of scenarioswhere it was a child who had
maybe aged out of foster care,or maybe they never went
completely into foster but werefunctionally not in a healthy
(24:11):
home and ended up kind of beingkicked out or would move out on
their own, and so they don'thave to have children if they're
in that young adult range.
But maybe they need a mentorand they need their own friend,
you know, just to kind of coachthem and parent them a little
bit.
We had two who needed to learnhow to drive they never learned
how to drive and one he wasworking and he had never been
(24:33):
apartment hunting.
He didn't know what he waslooking for.
You know, wanted someone toteach him what do you look for
in an apartment, what questionsdo you ask and how do you figure
out how much you can afford andthat sort of thing.
So that was a young adult.
You know he didn't have anychildren or anything, but we
were still able to support him.
That's great.
Otherwise, families it can beanyone, but they do have to have
(24:54):
custody of the children.
So it could be a grandparent,it could be an aunt or an uncle,
but if they've been givencustody of the child and they
can, you know, sign paperworkand make decisions on behalf of
the child, then we can supportthat family unit.
But once they've been shelteredor if it's like a kinship
placement within foster care youknow some of those kinds of
(25:15):
scenarios, when they've beenremoved from the parent and the
state is involved then that'snot our lane anymore.
You know that really is fostercare.
But then once a family, if theyare set to be reunified with
their children that date iswithin about six months that
they are going to get reunifiedwith their children, that date
is within about six months thatthey are going to get their kids
back we could also come backalongside that family and start
(25:35):
to get involved then too andhelp them with a family friend
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
I wanted to ask you what the process looks like.
So the scenario is, say, I'm ahomeless mom and I have a child
and I need somebody to help takecare of him.
Right now, while I figure outmy living situation, and let's
say I've been referred to you,what does the process look like
(25:59):
now that we have been connected?
Speaker 2 (26:02):
So we start with an intake interview.
We do have a form that we wouldhave parents fill out, but we
usually would just do that withthem over the phone too, just to
get a little bit of backgroundon their situation and best way
to contact them.
And who are the family members.
Is there anybody else that theywould consider, you know, like
an emergency contact, and thenwe do an interview.
(26:23):
We just have a lot of differentquestions that we go through.
You know, how are you feelingnow and how did you get here?
What are your goals?
What's your priority?
Where would you like to start?
Who are they already workingwith, or what kinds of other
resources do they need?
We have a child informationform and a parent information
form, so they give us a littlebit of their background.
We don't always get the wholestory, but are there mental
(26:46):
health concerns that we shouldknow about?
Are there behavioral concernsfor the child that we should
know about?
What are their favorite foods?
What's their bedtime routine?
What school do they go to?
Do they have teachers thatyou've talked with, or
after-school programs?
We really want to try andmaintain the child's schedule
and relationships as much as wecan, and so we are able to keep
(27:07):
them in their home school,whether that's child care center
or a public school and wereally work with the parent to
know, you know, how are we goingto make them comfortable in
this volunteer's home, you know,is there a levy or a blanket
that's important to them, andwhat are the foods that we
should have on hand?
And then we would set up, youknow, a visit schedule.
(27:28):
Yeah, so we get all thatinformation from the parent and
then our staff member, my intakespecialist and family coach
supervisor, then she puts outthe ask to the volunteers.
So in that scenario it soundslike there would be overnight
hosting that would be wanted.
So then we would contact thehost families and say we have
this opportunity, you know, foryou to serve who's available.
(27:48):
So then we have a meet andgreet that we set up.
So once a volunteer says, yes,available.
So then we have a meet andgreet that we set up.
So once a volunteer says yes,we have the volunteer and the
family meet in a neutrallocation.
We still work protectively forour volunteers.
We do not give out theiraddresses.
We just never know who, even ifit's not the parent, who the
parent might be connected to andthat's also something that's in
the paperwork, you know, forour volunteers.
(28:10):
So the parent has to sign whatwe call temporary guardianship
and so that gives the hostfamily permission to take them
to the doctor or take them toschool, you know, get school
information, that sort of thing,kind of act on their behalf.
But it also says that I agree tohold harmless, you know, this
host family.
I understand they're doing thisout of the goodness of their
(28:31):
heart.
They're not being compensated.
Even when adults are vigilant,accidents can happen, right,
it's that sort of thing.
So again, we're still workingprotectively for our volunteers
and then that's what we sign andwe talk through the scenario
and then we work out the timesthat you know maybe the parent
would want to see their kiddowhile they're in hosting and how
they're going to talk.
(28:51):
Or you know you send thempictures of their child when
they're eating or maybe swimmingin the pool or something like
that.
And then we set them on theirway and everybody's good to go.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Thank you for sharing .
I think sometimes people areafraid in general to reach out
because they don't necessarilyunderstand what's going to
happen next, right, what's theprocess?
So by sharing what you shared,I hope that it will ease the
minds of somebody that maybeneeds some help and has just
been reluctant to ask for it.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Absolutely, and even with our host families.
You know, I know I said that wedon't stipend them, but the
last piece of our circle ofsupport is our resource friend,
and those are folks who arewilling to take a meal to a host
family, or maybe they donatethe grocery gift card, you know,
maybe they're even willing todonate some supplies or things
like that, or help with goodsand services in any way so that
(29:40):
it eases the burden of hosting achild.
It is a lot that we ask ourvolunteers to take on, but we do
our best to resource them aswell, so it's not a complete
out-of-pocket sacrifice.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
So, speaking of volunteers, in order to support,
say, families, the TreasureCoast chapter, how many
volunteers would you need?
Speaker 2 (30:00):
We're always in need of host families to be able to
accommodate the multiplescenarios or even multiple
siblings.
You know we've had siblinggroups of three and four that we
have had to split up, whichreally is not always a bad thing
.
Most of the time there's enoughof an age gap that it is
actually a blessing for the kidsto get some alone time, and
they're happy for that.
(30:21):
But there are other scenariosthat we would have liked to keep
all three of the kids togetherand we just aren't able to
because host families don't haveenough room.
It could be that there's ateenager, and so maybe some of
our host families don't haveenough room.
It could be that there's ateenager, and so maybe some of
our host families aren'tcomfortable working with
teenagers or they don't have aspare bedroom Aside from being a
volunteer.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
How can the community support you?
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Well, we are always looking for business partners.
We do have what we call theStrong Families Tax Credit.
It is something that's beenaround in Florida for about four
years now.
We do qualify for that.
So, depending on, there arecertain types of taxes that
qualify.
So if a business thinks theywould be interested in doing
that, it's their tax liability,so it's nothing additional out
(31:05):
of their bottom line.
So that's an opportunity thatthey could use to possibly work
with us and support us.
We certainly are.
Also look for sponsors for ourevents that we host.
We like to do family fun dayswhere we can do picnics with our
volunteer families and thefamilies we support, and so we
usually provide a main dish.
Or, you know, we might rent abounce house or something like
(31:25):
that, and so having support forthat is always helpful.
But just getting the word out,you know, letting people know
that we're here, makingreferrals to families, helping
people really understand who weare and what we're about, is
always helpful.
If you have a civic club,rotary Club or retired educators
, anything like that, yourchurch group, your small group,
(31:46):
anybody that you think might bewilling to be a part of that
circle of support in any way, Iwould welcome the chance to talk
to them and work together onthose things.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Awesome.
Have I missed anything that isimportant with you to share?
Speaker 2 (32:01):
We're not the traditional after-school program
and you know checkbox, allthese things right, but we're
about deep relationship and wego all in with these families
for as long as they're willingto work with us, and so that may
be six months, it's been 18months.
It really is about that depthof relationship and support to
(32:21):
really stabilize families forthe long haul.
So I just appreciate all ofyour questions and you know
getting to talk all the wayaround the circle of support and
the families and just all ofthose things.
So thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Of course, funny because I say okay, 30 minutes,
but then you know you gettalking and it's so engaging and
so informative and I'm curious.
So I'm like I want to learnmore and so I'm sure the
audience is probably.
They'll probably have even morequestions after this, but
nonetheless I appreciate youmaking time for me and wanting
to come on and share yourmessage and your mission.
(32:57):
So thank you.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Oh well, thank you just for being curious, for
asking good questions and forcaring about how we can support
one another in the communityBecause, like you've shared, you
know, people want to sharetheir stories, they want to be
seen, they want to be heard,they want to be loved, and
that's what we, that's what wewant to do.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
We are a community.
Jessie, thank you for being myguest today on the I Need Blue
podcast.
It was my pleasure.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Thank you so much, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
And this is Jen Lee, host of the I Need Blue podcast.
You can learn anything andeverything about I Need Blue on
my website, wwwineedbluenet.
And remember you are strongerthan you think.
Until next time, I love you.
You never think it will happen to you until it does
.
One moment.
Life is normal, routine,predictable, and then suddenly
you're fighting to survive.
I'm Jennifer Lee, a survivorauthor and host of I Need Blue
(00:24):
podcast.
You belong are loved,understood and empowered to
share.
Welcome to season five.
Listen to I Need Blue on ApplePodcasts, spotify, youtube or
your favorite listening platform.
(00:46):
Learn more at wwwineedbluenet.
Before we get started, I mustshare a trigger warning.
I Need Blue shares real lifesurvivor stories, including
discussions of trauma, violenceand abuse.
These conversations are meantto empower, support and let
(01:10):
others know they are not alone.
Please prioritize yourwell-being and ask for help if
needed.
Now let's get started withtoday's story.
Every child deserves a safe andloving home, but sadly, 75% of
children in foster care arethere because of unmet needs in
(01:34):
their families.
These numbers are not juststatistics.
They represent real lives,children and families who need
our support.
Today I welcome Jesse, theDirector of Safe Families for
Children, the Treasure CoastChapter.
This incredible organization isdedicated to strengthening
(01:58):
families, preventing child abuseand neglect and working
tirelessly to reduce the numberof children who enter the foster
care system unnecessarily.
Jessie is here to educate andshare how you can make a
difference and help support yourcommunity.
Jessie has poured her heartinto community development work
(02:23):
for years.
She's worked with severalnonprofits from Virginia to
Florida and is always deeplycommitted to helping others.
A lifelong resident of VeroBeach, she feels incredibly
blessed to serve with safefamilies.
Jessie is a loving wife.
(02:43):
Families Jessie is a lovingwife, mom and Enneagram coach,
guiding others in their journeysoutside of her work.
Today, let's learn how we cancontribute to the change and
support these families beforeit's too late.
Jessie, thank you for being myguest today and welcome to the I
(03:05):
Need Blue podcast.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Oh, thank you so much for having me.
It's a pleasure to be with you.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Of course, you and I had an opportunity to talk
before this interview so I couldlearn a little bit more about
Safe Families, the TreasureCoast chapter.
You shared the history and thestory and how Safe Families came
about based out of a need.
Can you share that story withthe audience?
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Sure Safe Families for Children started over 20
years ago in Chicago Illinois.
Our founder, dave Anderson, wasworking in a foster care group
home as a licensed psychologist.
A mom came in asking for help.
She was frantic, trying to askfor help with her children, and
(03:56):
of course it hadn't occurred tohim that her children weren't
there in the group home orweren't in foster care.
So he was asking who's yourcase manager?
And you know who have youtalked to before, you know?
Trying to point her to theright person.
And it turned out that sheactually did not have a case
manager.
Her children had not beenremoved, but she was in a crisis
(04:16):
and she didn't know where elseto go for help.
And so she walked into thedoors of a foster care group
home and this was 20 years ago,so there were not a lot of other
options.
When he tells this story, hevery defeatedly, you know,
looked back at this mom and justsaid I'm really sorry, but
until something bad happens Ican't help you.
(04:37):
But she was very brave and shewould not take that for an
answer.
And she looked back at him andsaid you don't understand that
if you don't help me, somethingbad is going to happen.
So this was a mom who clearlycared about her children, loved
her kids, was concerned fortheir well-being, but there was
(04:59):
no structure, there was noorganization, there was no
opportunity for her to go andget help on the front end.
There was no organization,there was no opportunity for her
to go and get help on the frontend.
So, being a Christian, dave'sin a small group with his church
and his small group that nightand said I had a really lousy
day at the office and you knowhe's telling the story of this
(05:23):
mom and just really waslamenting how the church had
really stepped back.
And for so long in our churchhistory, even from ancient
church history, christians werethe ones who were helping in
Rome and caring for the lame andthe vulnerable and the babies
who had been discarded outsidethe city, and we were the ones
who started orphanages in theUnited States.
This has been a part of ourchurch history for so long to
(05:45):
care for the vulnerable.
Over the last several decadeswe'd really stepped back and he
was lamenting that and sayingwhat if there was a way that we
could get involved beforesomething bad happened?
What would that look like forus to really help families who
want help.
They're not abusing theirchildren, they just are
struggling and they don't knowwho to call in this time of
(06:09):
crisis.
His group, his friends, werereally inspired by that.
They wanted to help him andthey said we will, you know,
we'll help you, dave.
So he and his wife, karen tookthese children into their home,
mom resolved her crisis and thenkids went back to mom, and so
that was really how SafeFamilies was born.
It was this very organic,heartfelt, you know, passion and
(06:33):
desire to want to strengthenfamilies and support them in the
ways that all of us haveexperienced.
So many of us have friends, wehave family members, you know.
We have relatives that we cancall when something crazy starts
to happen or if we hit a roughpatch.
And it's just shocking how manypeople that we encounter now
(06:56):
who don't have that kind ofsupport system, for whatever
reason.
Sometimes it's moving away, youknow, sometimes it's more
complicated than that, but atthe end of the day, it's just
that desire to have somebodysafe that you trust with your
kids, that you trust is going tohave your back and is in your
corner and rooting for you.
And so that's really how StayFamilies got started.
(07:16):
It was just this very organicvision of how can we become like
extended family to people inour community who don't have
anyone, so that they can keeptheir kids safe and so that
their family can stay together.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
I think that's great and you brought up a couple of
really great points, you know.
Number one we take for grantedthose healthy relationships that
we have, like you said, whetherwe have a trusted babysitter
and you're right, not everybodyhas that, and that's where you
all want to create awareness, sonobody has to wake up and say,
(07:51):
oh my gosh, I'm in crisis, whatdo I do?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
now it is.
We see that regularly.
It's often single moms notalways, but often single moms
who are low income and they'vebeen in survival mode.
You know this was how they wereraised.
That's what they're used toseeing.
They've been making it on theirown, you know they've had to
figure it out and so they'reoften very resourceful.
(08:15):
You know, and very adept at,you know, navigating different
resources.
But the place where they canoften get stuck is who watches
my kids.
But the place where they canoften get stuck is who watches
my kids.
That is a lot of what we havestarted to see, and you know.
Be able to respond to parentswho finally, are willing to
acknowledge I need somebody else.
You know I need to be able tocall someone else for my
(08:36):
children.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
Absolutely.
You know, they say everythingis figureoutable.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I will figure it out this woman daily.
Right, I will figure it outthis woman daily right?
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yes, and you know, it's true, you manage to figure
things out, but I guess thequestion is what support have
you had along the way?
What resources were there tohelp you as you figured it out?
Can we talk about the differentvolunteer programs that you
have to offer these families?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Of course.
Really what evolved from thedifferent needs that our Chicago
headquarters was seeing, andthen Safe Families, grew very
quickly.
You know we have over.
I think we're at 100 chaptersor something across the United
States.
We've been in the UK for gosh12 or so years.
We have a network in Canada.
(09:28):
It very quickly grew to thesense of people go, oh my gosh,
we need this in our community.
And so what evolved from well,how can we serve families with
different types of requests forhelp has been what we call our
circle of support.
The national office submittedthis for research and it's been
reviewed and evaluated.
(09:49):
The circle of support is nowvetted as an evidence-based
model, which is pretty cool.
It's been proven that this cannow keep children out of foster
care and that they can receivethe same level of support as
even like in-home services fromchild welfare agencies.
So that can look like a fewdifferent roles.
(10:10):
What started in that sort oforiginal crisis is what we call
our host family opportunity.
So there are some situationswhere it's not safe or, you know
, maybe the parent is living intheir car and they just want to
give their kids a break whilethey're trying to get into their
next apartment or place to live.
It could be that maybe a parentis finally ready to go into a
(10:34):
treatment center for a drugaddiction.
Part of what's been holdingthem back is that I don't know
who's going to keep my kids.
I don't want them to go intofoster care just because I'm
finally going to get treatment.
It could be domestic violence,you know.
It could be that there is anunsafe situation and I want to
have my kids stay somewhere safeovernight, and so that's what
our host families can do is thatthey can keep children in their
(10:57):
homes overnight without parentslosing custody.
So this is a voluntaryarrangement.
We fully vet our volunteers.
But it is an opportunity forthe parent to say I need to know
that my kids are in a safeplace so that I can go and focus
on this other stuff that'sgoing on.
So it's voluntary.
(11:17):
The parent chooses toparticipate in that way.
Nothing is forced.
We have legal paperwork, wehave all the safety paperwork,
things like that that they agreeto it's for a set amount of
time, and then we stay incommunication with the parent.
They get to see their childrenthroughout the week.
You know we set up times forthem to talk and see each other
so it doesn't feel like theirmom or dad has now abandoned
(11:41):
them.
We minimize the trauma for thechild.
They stay in relationship withtheir parent.
It's just like, okay, you'regoing to go stay with Miss
Jessie for a little while, youknow, while while mama goes to
work on these apartments orsomething Right?
So sometimes it has to beovernight hosting, but it
doesn't have to be.
We work very closely with ourchildcare centers and our
(12:02):
homeless shelters to offersupport to families.
So these are families they needthat day help.
Sometimes it's more about theparents or the grandparent who
needs a friend We've had agrandparent raising a grandchild
or the single parent who's justlonely and they don't have
friends and they need someone totalk to, and so that's what we
call our family friend role,which can, like I said, be
(12:26):
focused more on the adult or onthe child.
My family and I we are going todo day hosting this Saturday.
We are family friends with amom at the Hope for Family
Center right now.
They have, like I said,overnight shelter, but
occasionally mom has to work onthe weekends and so she can call
us and she has another familyfriend and so we'll keep her
(12:48):
kiddo during her day shift andthen at the end of her shift we
take him back to mom.
We get to bond with him and weget to bond with her.
So that's our family friendrole.
We also have what we call ourfamily coaches.
So this is one of theprofessional pieces that we hold
.
You know we're a smallprofessional team.
We want to be professionallysupported, make sure we're
following guidelines and ourfidelity model all of those
(13:11):
kinds of things that theassignments are being overseen
by more well-versed in communityresources.
They will support a parent whomaybe they do need to fill out
job applications and they needsome job coaching on how to
prepare for the interview.
(13:32):
Maybe they need help withmedical appointments, sort of
navigating some of the medicalsystem either for themselves or
for their child, and so thecoach might let them know about
different resources and placesthey can go.
It's been as simple as theyneed help paying for groceries,
and so we say do you know aboutUnited Against Poverty?
Coaches are going to help ourfamilies connect to the
(13:54):
additional community resources.
Besides, just Save Families,that will help them stabilize
and really be able to staytogether.
So those are our three mainvolunteer rules within the
circle of support.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
That's a lot of great information and I took away a
lot of things, and some of themI want to dig a little bit
deeper.
The first one is I love hearingthe collaboration with other
nonprofits in the community.
That is great, so thank you forthat.
And one of the things that yourecently said is you're kind of
a smaller organization andthat's by design, right.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yes, the vision was always to mobilize volunteers.
We wanted to mobilize thecommunity to be better neighbors
, you know, to come alongsidefamilies.
There's such a difference whenyou have that peer-to-peer
relationship than just theprofessional to client
relationship.
We value the professionalservices in our community.
(14:52):
We're very focused on this isour lane, we're very relational.
You know, that is the gap thatwe fill and we couldn't see and
support families in all of thedifferent ways that they need it
without our community partners.
So collaboration is huge to us.
I tell this story a lot.
If I've been to the doctor orif I was working with a
professional in some way andthey make a recommendation to me
(15:15):
, I go.
Oh, thank you very much.
You know it's a goodinformation.
But when I'm struggling, I needto make a change around how I'm
living, when it comes to whetheror not I'm going to work out or
eat right.
Or, you know, when I'mfrustrated with my kids and I'm
trying to remember what thatparenting educator said about
something, I'm not going to callthe expert.
(15:35):
I'm not going to call my doctor.
That's not who I turn to forsupport.
I'm going to call my friendwho's willing to go walk the
bridge with me or go for a walkinstead of going out for drinks
or something like that.
I call my friend who's had achild with special needs and
needed to go through the schoolsystem.
And how do you apply for a 504plan and what's an IEP and how
do we do that right?
(15:56):
I can ask questions ofprofessionals, but it's my
friends who are really going towalk me through it and help make
that difference in my life.
And that's the other importantpiece for us if we can take out
that power dynamic between theprofessional and the client
scenario and help it feel likeit's peer to peer.
We very intentionally don'tstipend our host families
(16:18):
because that makes it feel alittle bit more forced.
It makes it feel a little bitmore like foster care and we are
really trying to create thatfamilial like relationship,
absolutely.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And you know, going back to having that friend to
talk, to get advice, sometimeswhat we need is as simple as
just someone to listen,absolutely.
Yeah, we forget about that.
We're so engaged witheverything right Social media
and whatnot that sometimes justa lending ear is all we really
(16:53):
need.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
Well, and what's really neat about that is many
of us know that intuitively andthat relationships matter, that
these social connections,listening matters.
It's become a joke in somerelationships, right, Like, I
just want you to listen, I don'tneed you to fix it.
And so sometimes our volunteerscan feel overwhelmed and they
go oh my gosh, there's so manyneeds, Like I don't know how to
(17:14):
help them.
We say we're not asking you tosolve all their problems, we're
not asking you to fix it all.
We're asking you to be present.
We use the phrase being afaithful presence in their lives
.
You are that steady, that calm,reassuring connection.
When they're freaking out aboutsomebody in their family
calling them, asking for help orsomething that's happened with
(17:37):
their kids, and when you canbring that calm and that support
and that encouragement just bylistening, it makes all the
difference.
And the science is backing thatup.
Now you know all of theresearch is showing how
important that is.
So you know we tell ourvolunteers it can feel like a
lot, but we're not asking you toown that, we just want you to
be that friend you know, to bethat good listener in their
(17:59):
lives.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah, by simply listening, you're telling that
person that you matter, yourfeelings matter, your thoughts
matter, you matter, right, it'sso important thoughts matter,
you matter, right, it's soimportant, yes, and the
difference that that makes inconfidence.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
We talk about resilience.
There's an evidence-basedframework called the protective
factors, so that's kind of themethod behind our madness.
You know people go ohrelationships and that's kind of
squishy, but there is science,there is research backing up
what we do and why we do it, andit builds resilience.
Families have hope, and whenfamilies can self-report that
(18:38):
they're feeling more confidentand you know some of these
different criteria than thatframework then that's what
builds their persistence andtheir ability to then be able to
push through hard times andkeep going and not give up.
And then they're less likely tospiral and they know where to
go for help so that even ifsomething happens again and
which it often does they'restill more able to navigate
(19:02):
those challenging circumstances.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Absolutely.
How do you assist?
Let's say, the parent isharboring feelings of I'm not
good enough, I'm not a goodparent, I can't take care of my
child.
How do you support them?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
we talk about a strengths-based approach.
It's certainly moreindividualized per parent, you
know, kind of depends on theirsituation.
But yes, our coaches andvolunteers, we train them and
paying attention to the good,you know, finding the strengths
in what they're doing, whateverit might be like.
We call those out so that theycan can have some perspective
(19:41):
and hopefully put the judgmentdown and learn to be
compassionate with themselvestoo.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Yeah, the validation can be really hard to ask for
help.
It can be a very humbling thingand that could be part of the
reason really hard to ask forhelp.
It can be a very humbling thingand that could be part of the
reason people don't ask for help.
They don't want to feel likethey failed or something.
But at the end of the day theydidn't fail and you show them
like, listen, here's all of theamazing things that you are
doing within your control andnow let us help you further
(20:09):
advance where you are right now.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
You know we work directly with the parent.
That's.
Our initial conversations withthem are around what are your
goals?
This isn't about imposing ourstandards what we think is a
good child care center or whatwe think you know should be
their top priority and it'sabout working with them to
really kind of realize thedreams for themselves and help
(20:33):
them, you know, be able to calmdown enough, right, that's that
crisis mode.
But then once they're calm andkind of out of their brainstem
and able to start to thinkcritically again and, you know,
dream again, we say what areyour goals?
You know where would you liketo start.
What do you think would make thebiggest difference for your
family?
You know where would you liketo start.
What do you think would makethe biggest difference for your
family?
We really let them lead when itcomes to goal setting so that
(20:54):
it feels like a win for them.
Right, it's something theychose and that they accomplished
for themselves and that it'salso sustainable for their
family.
It's not a crime to live inyour car, it's not a crime to be
homeless, and if they're makingthat work and a lot of families
do it then great way to be aresourceful parent and you are
still providing for yourchildren.
(21:14):
We really work within whatmakes sense for them and their
situation and what they feellike is going to be most helpful
to getting their family to thatnext level of stability.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
For however they want to define that, you know the
question how can I help you isso powerful, especially as
parents, because you're in thatcaregiver role of you know
you're helping, helping, helpingthat to have someone come in
and say how can I help you ispowerful.
Can you share some additionalreasons why a parent might reach
(21:45):
?
Speaker 2 (21:45):
out.
I think our top three reasonsthat parents call us are lack of
support and homelessness andlack of child care.
Those are usually some of thefirst things that we start to
address Now.
Housing obviously is far morechallenging in the last two and
a half years than it waspreviously, but we are always
(22:06):
keeping up with what are the newopportunities in our community
and who are the Treasure CoastHomeless Services Council and
United Against Poverty orCommunity Services.
What are those resources?
How can we help them navigatethose?
But sometimes it's more focusedon that lack of support and
they just really need a friend.
We've had several single momsrecently who were just lonely.
(22:28):
Maybe their children had somechallenging behaviors.
It might not be appropriate forus to host them or even day
host them right away, but it'show can we support you?
Where are you feeling the mostdiscouraged?
Does that need to be anotherreferral?
You know we've certainlyconnected people and pointed
them to, like the Mental HealthAssociation, or you know other
(22:49):
counseling types and teams.
You know other counselingservices, things like that.
So sometimes it is more of adirect referral, but other times
it is that friending, it isthat child support.
So those are the top threereasons that they come to us Do
people find you on their own orare they generally referred to
you?
That's a great question.
(23:10):
We often get referrals fromorganizations, but families can
self-refer.
That happens a lot too,especially, you know, the longer
we're in a community, and thenother families talk about us to
other folks and you know, oh mygosh, they were so helpful to me
, you should call them.
And so there is some of thathappening for sure.
It kind of comes in waves, isreally what we've seen.
(23:32):
Last year we had a few parentswho ended up needing to do short
jail sentences and they neededsomeone to watch their kids.
So we did that last year acouple of times.
So yeah, it kind of comes inwaves.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
What ages do you serve?
Speaker 2 (23:48):
The majority of children are under the age of 10
, but we can support 0 to 17.
If they are 18, then we wouldconsider them an adult and there
have been a couple of scenarioswhere it was a child who had
maybe aged out of foster care,or maybe they never went
completely into foster but werefunctionally not in a healthy
(24:11):
home and ended up kind of beingkicked out or would move out on
their own, and so they don'thave to have children if they're
in that young adult range.
But maybe they need a mentorand they need their own friend,
you know, just to kind of coachthem and parent them a little
bit.
We had two who needed to learnhow to drive they never learned
how to drive and one he wasworking and he had never been
(24:33):
apartment hunting.
He didn't know what he waslooking for.
You know, wanted someone toteach him what do you look for
in an apartment, what questionsdo you ask and how do you figure
out how much you can afford andthat sort of thing.
So that was a young adult.
You know he didn't have anychildren or anything, but we
were still able to support him.
That's great.
Otherwise, families it can beanyone, but they do have to have
(24:54):
custody of the children.
So it could be a grandparent,it could be an aunt or an uncle,
but if they've been givencustody of the child and they
can, you know, sign paperworkand make decisions on behalf of
the child, then we can supportthat family unit.
But once they've been shelteredor if it's like a kinship
placement within foster care youknow some of those kinds of
(25:15):
scenarios, when they've beenremoved from the parent and the
state is involved then that'snot our lane anymore.
You know that really is fostercare.
But then once a family, if theyare set to be reunified with
their children that date iswithin about six months that
they are going to get reunifiedwith their children, that date
is within about six months thatthey are going to get their kids
back we could also come backalongside that family and start
(25:35):
to get involved then too andhelp them with a family friend
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
I wanted to ask you what the process looks like.
So the scenario is, say, I'm ahomeless mom and I have a child
and I need somebody to help takecare of him.
Right now, while I figure outmy living situation, and let's
say I've been referred to you,what does the process look like
(25:59):
now that we have been connected?
Speaker 2 (26:02):
So we start with an intake interview.
We do have a form that we wouldhave parents fill out, but we
usually would just do that withthem over the phone too, just to
get a little bit of backgroundon their situation and best way
to contact them.
And who are the family members.
Is there anybody else that theywould consider, you know, like
an emergency contact, and thenwe do an interview.
(26:23):
We just have a lot of differentquestions that we go through.
You know, how are you feelingnow and how did you get here?
What are your goals?
What's your priority?
Where would you like to start?
Who are they already workingwith, or what kinds of other
resources do they need?
We have a child informationform and a parent information
form, so they give us a littlebit of their background.
We don't always get the wholestory, but are there mental
(26:46):
health concerns that we shouldknow about?
Are there behavioral concernsfor the child that we should
know about?
What are their favorite foods?
What's their bedtime routine?
What school do they go to?
Do they have teachers thatyou've talked with, or
after-school programs?
We really want to try andmaintain the child's schedule
and relationships as much as wecan, and so we are able to keep
(27:07):
them in their home school,whether that's child care center
or a public school and wereally work with the parent to
know, you know, how are we goingto make them comfortable in
this volunteer's home, you know,is there a levy or a blanket
that's important to them, andwhat are the foods that we
should have on hand?
And then we would set up, youknow, a visit schedule.
(27:28):
Yeah, so we get all thatinformation from the parent and
then our staff member, my intakespecialist and family coach
supervisor, then she puts outthe ask to the volunteers.
So in that scenario it soundslike there would be overnight
hosting that would be wanted.
So then we would contact thehost families and say we have
this opportunity, you know, foryou to serve who's available.
(27:48):
So then we have a meet andgreet that we set up.
So once a volunteer says, yes,available.
So then we have a meet andgreet that we set up.
So once a volunteer says yes,we have the volunteer and the
family meet in a neutrallocation.
We still work protectively forour volunteers.
We do not give out theiraddresses.
We just never know who, even ifit's not the parent, who the
parent might be connected to andthat's also something that's in
the paperwork, you know, forour volunteers.
(28:10):
So the parent has to sign whatwe call temporary guardianship
and so that gives the hostfamily permission to take them
to the doctor or take them toschool, you know, get school
information, that sort of thing,kind of act on their behalf.
But it also says that I agree tohold harmless, you know, this
host family.
I understand they're doing thisout of the goodness of their
(28:31):
heart.
They're not being compensated.
Even when adults are vigilant,accidents can happen, right,
it's that sort of thing.
So again, we're still workingprotectively for our volunteers
and then that's what we sign andwe talk through the scenario
and then we work out the timesthat you know maybe the parent
would want to see their kiddowhile they're in hosting and how
they're going to talk.
(28:51):
Or you know you send thempictures of their child when
they're eating or maybe swimmingin the pool or something like
that.
And then we set them on theirway and everybody's good to go.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Thank you for sharing .
I think sometimes people areafraid in general to reach out
because they don't necessarilyunderstand what's going to
happen next, right, what's theprocess?
So by sharing what you shared,I hope that it will ease the
minds of somebody that maybeneeds some help and has just
been reluctant to ask for it.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Absolutely, and even with our host families.
You know, I know I said that wedon't stipend them, but the
last piece of our circle ofsupport is our resource friend,
and those are folks who arewilling to take a meal to a host
family, or maybe they donatethe grocery gift card, you know,
maybe they're even willing todonate some supplies or things
like that, or help with goodsand services in any way so that
(29:40):
it eases the burden of hosting achild.
It is a lot that we ask ourvolunteers to take on, but we do
our best to resource them aswell, so it's not a complete
out-of-pocket sacrifice.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
So, speaking of volunteers, in order to support,
say, families, the TreasureCoast chapter, how many
volunteers would you need?
Speaker 2 (30:00):
We're always in need of host families to be able to
accommodate the multiplescenarios or even multiple
siblings.
You know we've had siblinggroups of three and four that we
have had to split up, whichreally is not always a bad thing
.
Most of the time there's enoughof an age gap that it is
actually a blessing for the kidsto get some alone time, and
they're happy for that.
(30:21):
But there are other scenariosthat we would have liked to keep
all three of the kids togetherand we just aren't able to
because host families don't haveenough room.
It could be that there's ateenager, and so maybe some of
our host families don't haveenough room.
It could be that there's ateenager, and so maybe some of
our host families aren'tcomfortable working with
teenagers or they don't have aspare bedroom Aside from being a
volunteer.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
How can the community support you?
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Well, we are always looking for business partners.
We do have what we call theStrong Families Tax Credit.
It is something that's beenaround in Florida for about four
years now.
We do qualify for that.
So, depending on, there arecertain types of taxes that
qualify.
So if a business thinks theywould be interested in doing
that, it's their tax liability,so it's nothing additional out
(31:05):
of their bottom line.
So that's an opportunity thatthey could use to possibly work
with us and support us.
We certainly are.
Also look for sponsors for ourevents that we host.
We like to do family fun dayswhere we can do picnics with our
volunteer families and thefamilies we support, and so we
usually provide a main dish.
Or, you know, we might rent abounce house or something like
(31:25):
that, and so having support forthat is always helpful.
But just getting the word out,you know, letting people know
that we're here, makingreferrals to families, helping
people really understand who weare and what we're about, is
always helpful.
If you have a civic club,rotary Club or retired educators
, anything like that, yourchurch group, your small group,
(31:46):
anybody that you think might bewilling to be a part of that
circle of support in any way, Iwould welcome the chance to talk
to them and work together onthose things.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Awesome.
Have I missed anything that isimportant with you to share?
Speaker 2 (32:01):
We're not the traditional after-school program
and you know checkbox, allthese things right, but we're
about deep relationship and wego all in with these families
for as long as they're willingto work with us, and so that may
be six months, it's been 18months.
It really is about that depthof relationship and support to
(32:21):
really stabilize families forthe long haul.
So I just appreciate all ofyour questions and you know
getting to talk all the wayaround the circle of support and
the families and just all ofthose things.
So thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Of course, funny because I say okay, 30 minutes,
but then you know you gettalking and it's so engaging and
so informative and I'm curious.
So I'm like I want to learnmore and so I'm sure the
audience is probably.
They'll probably have even morequestions after this, but
nonetheless I appreciate youmaking time for me and wanting
to come on and share yourmessage and your mission.
(32:57):
So thank you.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
Oh well, thank you just for being curious, for
asking good questions and forcaring about how we can support
one another in the communityBecause, like you've shared, you
know, people want to sharetheir stories, they want to be
seen, they want to be heard,they want to be loved, and
that's what we, that's what wewant to do.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
We are a community.
Jessie, thank you for being myguest today on the I Need Blue
podcast.
It was my pleasure.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Thank you so much, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
And this is Jen Lee, host of the I Need Blue podcast.
You can learn anything andeverything about I Need Blue on
my website, wwwineedbluenet.
And remember you are strongerthan you think.
Until next time, I love you.
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