October 13, 2025 • 47 mins
Theresa’s courage proves that even after 17 years of silence, a voice can rise stronger than the violence that tried to silence it.
When Teresa heard glass shatter that March morning in 2007, her life changed forever. She survived a horrific sexual assault in her own home, and though her attacker was never caught, her story is defined by resilience, not violence.
Alert and courageous during the attack, Teresa later reclaimed her life through faith, therapy, supportive friends, and artistic expression. Now, she shares her journey to empower others to speak, heal, and move forward with God guiding them.
If you or someone you know is a victim of sexual assault, visit:
https://rainn.org for free, confidential support.
National hotline: Available 24 hours. 1-800-656-4673
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By sharing the hidden lines of our stories, we remind each other we are not alone — together, we step out of hiding and into healing.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Imagine when you share your darkest hours they
become someone else's light.
I'm Jennifer Lee, a globalcommunity storyteller, host,
author and survivor, guiding youthrough genuine, unfiltered
conversations.
Together we break the silence,shatter stigma and amplify
(00:34):
voices that need to be heard.
Each episode stands as atestament to survival, healing
and reclaiming your power.
Listen to I Need Blue on ApplePodcasts, spotify, youtube or
your favorite platform.
Learn more at wwwineedbluenet.
(01:00):
Trigger warning I Need Blueshares real-life stories of
trauma, violence and abuse meantto empower and support.
Please take care of yourself andask for help if needed.
Now let's begin today's story.
(01:20):
She's barely a hundred pounds,but what she carries is
immeasurable.
Beneath her fragile frame is aheart of iron, unshakable
perseverance and a smile thatshines with the warmth of the
sun.
I often say everyone has astory, and it's true.
(01:43):
Most people walk through lifewearing invisible armor, smiles
hiding the weight of pain,trauma and memories too heavy to
speak.
Imagine carrying that burdenfor years.
At some point it becomes toomuch.
That's when we realize it'stime to let go, time to lose the
(02:09):
weight of trauma, ptsd,depression and take our voice
back.
One day, teresa said to me Ihave a story.
Saturday, march 31st, 7.26 am.
She heard glass shatter andassumed it was the handyman.
(02:31):
But it wasn't.
It was the start of a nightmare.
A stranger was outside her homeand minutes later she endured
something no one ever should shewould be raped in the very
place where she should have feltsafest.
(02:51):
The details remain etched inher mind clear, precise.
It's not just a memory, it'sher truth.
Though Teresa was raised bygovernment investigator parents
who taught her to recognizedanger, nothing could have
prepared her for what happenedthat day, because maybe nothing
(03:13):
ever truly can.
But there's a truth that ringsloud and clear you never truly
know how strong you are untilyou're faced with danger.
Know how strong you are untilyou're faced with danger.
You never truly understand thedepths of your resilience until
you are forced to fight your waythrough it.
(03:34):
Before we began recording,teresa said I think this is
going to be cathartic.
For me, her story is more thanher own.
It's a spark that could inspireothers to speak their truth.
Today, it's not just aboutsharing her story.
(03:55):
It's about shedding the weightof the past and embracing the
power of reclaiming what wasonce taken power of reclaiming
what was once taken.
It's time to take our voicesback.
Teresa, thank you so much forbeing my friend and for being my
(04:19):
guest today.
Welcome to the.
I Need.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Blue podcast.
Thank you very much, Jennifer.
I really appreciate thisopportunity.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Thank you very much, Jennifer.
I really appreciate thisopportunity.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Absolutely, you know.
I want to start with asking,because not many of us grow up
with government investigativeparents.
What was that like?
Lots of phone number changes,parents very careful about where
we went, what we did.
My sister prefers to say theywere very too strict, let's put
it that way.
I prefer to say they taught usa lot of lessons and warned us
(05:07):
about what we could face.
And when I mentioned to my dadthat I was interested in going
into the same field, he lookedme square in the face and he
said don't.
He said it's too dangerous andI don't want my daughter being
put in danger did you heed hiswarning or did your own?
(05:31):
well, I tried to apply for thelocal sheriff's office.
I tried even without himknowing I was old enough and I
couldn't pass the physicalbecause of my eyes.
So you know there was no sensein mentioning it.
You know at the time, yes.
(05:53):
So I figured if I couldn't passthe physical for that then I
probably wouldn't pass thephysical for anything else.
So I could have done somethingon the back end and pursued
criminal justice in another way,maybe in legal field or
something like that.
I chose to go into anotherfield that was more humanities
(06:16):
related and in advertising, so Ididn't have to face too much of
what I grew up with.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Right.
Did they ever share any storiesor experiences with you, or was
that more of a hush hush?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
A lot of it was hush hush because it was still under
investigation.
My dad was not allowed to talkabout anything that was still
under investigation, but I didhave access to his closed cases,
everything that was on record,and sometimes he would let me
read his copy of the transcriptsfrom the trials, which was
(06:54):
absolutely fascinating for me,and that was one reason I really
wanted to pursue the field andI really wanted to pursue the
field, anyway.
So I learned a lot from thetranscripts about what he faced
and about being on stakeouts andthings like that.
And stakeouts aren't all likethey see on TV, they're peanut
(07:17):
butter sandwiches that you takewith you and you wait for hours
and hours and hours, sometimesfor nothing to happen, you know,
and a thermos of coffee.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
So what was dating like?
I have to ask.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Oh my heavens, my dad would answer the door and
literally size them up and checkthem out.
There were a couple that heactually turned away and said no
, you're not good enough to datemy daughter.
And in retrospect, of course,he was right and he's like do
(07:50):
not accept dates without meknowing who it is.
And my mom too.
Both of them.
They had to meet them first.
They went through the grillingwho are you?
What are your plans for thefuture?
What do you do now?
Where do you go to school?
You know all of that and mostof the time when I started
(08:15):
dating, it was parental guidance.
Along the way they had to drivethe kids you know a parent and
then they'd wait for us in thecar if we were having dinner or
that kind of thing.
It was really or a movie.
It was fine.
In retrospect it was just fineand I understand why they did
(08:37):
that.
And the other parents of theboys understood too.
And I eventually started datingon my own and started making
different types of decisions,remembering what my mom and dad
had given me as parameters tofollow.
I pretty much stayed within theparameters, you know, except
(09:00):
for maybe the length of the hairor a beard and mustache.
You know that kind of thing.
My sister, on the other hand,at one point she was dating a
guy who worked for a subversivenewsletter based out of Cuba,
and my father had a sit downwith us and he said do you
realize?
I could lose my job, your foodon the table, if you continue to
(09:25):
see this young man behind ourbacks.
I only saw my dad cry twice,three times.
Once was that day, once waswhen I got married the first
time and once when my motherdied.
He was a very, very strongcharacter and my hero.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
What did you learn from watching your hero a very
strong person cry?
Speaker 2 (09:55):
That everybody has some vulnerability, everybody
has a crack in that shell has acrack in that shell, and it made
me feel like he was more human.
I don't know if my sister feltthat because the conversation
was truly directed at thesituation that she was in, but I
(10:19):
certainly hope so.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
I know in sharing today, there's definitely a part
of you that's feelingvulnerability.
We were talking about this.
Are you drawing some of yourstrength from your dad?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Oh yes, oh yes, I have his genes.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Well, thank you dad.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yes, I have his genes in many, many ways.
I've got my mom's genes when itcomes to size, my dad's genes
when it comes to character.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I love it.
Thank you so much for sharingall of that.
I love getting to know ourguests and I think it's really
important for the audience to beable to understand that as well
.
So thank you again for sharing,of course.
So, moving on to your story,what year was it?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
It was 2007.
It was 18 years ago and I'mhoping by saying what I have to
say will release the negativeenergy that I have every single
year.
In March, I start having wickednightmares.
And it's been 18 years andyou'd think I'd quote be over it
(11:32):
.
But you never get over it,never.
My dad gave me a lot of strengthafterwards.
My concern was oh my God, whatam I going to say to my parents?
But they raised me.
To be honest, they treated melike an adult that got into a
(11:52):
bad situation.
That was not my fault.
It took me days to tell them,days.
But my dad was the first tosuggest that I start carrying a
weapon and learn how to use it,even though he had trained us as
(12:13):
kids about guns and gun safetyand taking us to the range and
outdoor ranges, and taught mehow to shoot a shotgun and his
couple of his weapons not hisservice revolver by any means.
That was totally outside therealm of reality.
(12:37):
But it never occurred to me toown one of my own.
It never occurred to me to ownone of my own.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Delicate question.
It took you a few days to tellyour parents.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
How long did it take you to say the word rape?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Well, it didn't take me long because I had to give a
statement after it was all saidand done and the detective was
very, very understanding.
You could tell he'd been in thefield for a long time.
I was treated with respect.
He listened to every word thatI said.
He wrote everything down, thingdown.
(13:29):
Also, because of my upbringing,I noticed a lot of details that
were very helpful to them inthe investigation and he told me
that I'd given one of the mostvivid descriptions of what
happened in his career.
So I was very, very glad that Icomplied and didn't curl up
like a ball in the fetalposition and say no, I can't
(13:53):
talk about it.
And that strength came from mydad for sure.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yes, you lived alone at this time, correct?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Yes, you lived alone at this time, correct?
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Yes, Are you comfortable, in this moment,
taking us what it was like atthose?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
moments, 18 years, exactly what happened, except
that detective I mean my dearestfriend knows about the incident
.
The woman who was actually mysavior was a friend that I ran
(14:35):
to after the incident Incidentis such a light word Afterwards
knew what happened.
She knew more of the detailsthan anybody because she heard
me.
I mean, I babbled at first butshe calmed me down quite a bit
(14:57):
and that's part of the story too, but nobody's ever heard it
before too, but nobody's everheard it before.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Well, thank you for trusting me to share it and for
sharing it with our audience.
As I said in the beginning,this is going to spark somebody
who hasn't been able to findtheir voice yet, maybe hasn't
been able to say the word rape,and name it for what it actually
is that violation, even if it'sjust taking that first step.
(15:28):
So what you are doing today isamazing, I hope it can help
somebody.
It will.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Too many people, especially women, vulnerable
women, are afraid to report it.
Women, vulnerable women, areafraid to report it.
They're afraid to say it even,especially date rape, because
they somehow or another feellike it's their fault because
they went out on a date with theguy or men.
I've heard of men being raped,you know, drugged, and they are
(16:04):
way too embarrassed to tell thetruth.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
You are right.
Your story began with shatteredglass.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
So I was sleeping.
It was a weekend, saturday.
I was on jury duty at the timeand I was awakened by the
shattered glass.
And it was early in the morning.
(16:36):
I remember looking at the clockwhen I went.
Anyway, I went to the window inmy dining room and the glass in
two of my panes had been brokenout.
They were awning windows, sothe two bottom panes were broken
and there was glass everywhere.
I was just grateful it was onthe floor and not near my birds,
(16:58):
because I kept my birds in thedining room.
I had no dining room table.
I saw somebody hunched overoutside my window and I thought
it was my handyman our handyman,because I had a problem with
the bottom window pane closing.
All the way Before that I'dthrown on some shorts because I
(17:21):
was sleeping and I didn't wantto go out undressed.
On some shorts because I wassleeping and I didn't want to go
out undressed.
So I went out to see Ulyssesthat was the name of our
handyman.
I called his name but I didn'thear him call back.
Great man always on the ballfixing stuff.
I had just reported the windowthe day before and I figured
(17:44):
he'd come early before the day.
Went crazy on him because I wasin the corner unit and he knew
that I wanted my window fixed assoon as I could get it fixed.
So I opened the back door and Iwent out onto the patio and this
(18:05):
man came, stood up from mydining room window and he had
one of my gardening tools, oneof my sharp gardening tools, in
his hand, and it wasn't Ulysses.
He had broken the glass with mygardening tool trying to get in
.
He headed towards me Mike, whatdo you want?
(18:32):
Who are you?
I realized he was drunk, hesmelled like alcohol and I don't
know where he came from.
But before I knew it he shovedme down onto the concrete and
literally jumped on top of me.
He tossed the gardening tooland pulled out a knife.
(18:58):
I don't know where the knifecame from, but it was really
rusty, dirty.
He might have gotten it becauseI lived in an apartment that
had a view of a lake and a golfcourse that was not used anymore
.
He could have picked it up inthe field.
I don't know.
But all I knew was that if hecut me with that, it was
(19:21):
infection crazy and I wouldprobably die.
And he had it at my throat, sobleeding out didn't even occur
to me, it was the infection.
I mean, how silly is that?
But I kept pushing him off,trying to push him off, push him
(19:44):
off and push him off and fight,and I kept crawling backwards
and wiggling backwards towardsthe door.
And I made it to the door and Iopened the screen door.
I managed to get that open, butwhile he was getting up and I
(20:05):
ran to my apartment and heshoved me down, punched me in
the back and I hit the floor.
Well, he came in, left thescreen door open and I kept
saying this is very odd in mybrain what is happening?
Don't let my dog out.
Oh my God.
I just kept trying to say tohim don't let my dog out.
(20:29):
And he couldn't speak English.
He was, it turns out, mexican,of Mexican descent.
He kept talking to me inSpanish and waving the knife,
and I was still on the floor atthis time.
(20:52):
He turned me over and he startedpulling down my pants.
He turned me over and hestarted pulling down my pants
and at that point I rememberthinking, jesus Christ, I'm
being raped.
And I tried to squirm out ofthat, because he was trying,
using both hands, to pull downmy pants with the knife in his
(21:14):
hand, and no, my pants keptcoming off.
So he raped me right there onthe living room floor and I'm
thinking okay, comply, don'tfight.
Unless you see an out, don'tfight, just comply, because
(21:39):
that's what I was told to do tosave my life, if that was a
possibility of losing my lifeand there was.
So after he was finished, atthat point he grabbed me by the
throat and lifted me up.
He grabbed me by the throat andlifted me up.
I couldn't scream, I couldn'tholler, I kept screaming on the
(22:00):
patio.
He had one hand over my mouth,his body weight was on top of me
, and then he had the knife inthe other.
After he picked me up by thethroat, he started dragging me
(22:21):
further into the apartment.
Well, there were only two placesto go.
It was either well, three, thekitchen, the bathroom or the
bedroom.
And then he stopped grabbing meby the throat and he grabbed me
by the hair and starteddragging me down the hallway.
Well, when my hair let loose,he grabbed me by the arms and
stood me up, the knife to myneck, and shoved me into the
(22:48):
bedroom.
And I was trying to scream.
Nobody could hear me becauseeverybody was asleep and there
were thick walls and you know.
But he kept coming and lungedat me to shut up.
(23:12):
Thank God he didn't close thebedroom door, for the reasons
I'll tell you later and gave meanother punch in the back and I
landed on the bed face down.
(23:32):
Well, my phone in the bedroom.
We had already passed my cellphone.
My cell phone was in thekitchen and we had already
passed that.
So I tried to reach for thephone on the opposite side of
the bed, since I was face down,and he pulled the phone out of
(23:58):
the wall and onto the floor andhe sodomized me there.
At this point I had nounderwear and no pants on,
obviously, and he just keptgripping me by the neck from the
(24:21):
back of the neck and shoved myface down into the bed.
So I couldn't scream and Icouldn't make any noise and
obviously the phone was gone.
So that was out of the question.
And then he grabbed me by theshoulders and turned me over and
(24:43):
with one hand on my mouth, heraped me again from the front.
All this time, at least, I hadmy T-shirt on Still it was a
(25:03):
crop T-shirt because I wassleeping in it which eventually
ended up in evidence.
So he raped me again and thenat one point he had put the
knife down onto the bed becausehe needed both hands.
(25:27):
He tried to lift my legs.
I don't know how long this wenton.
At this point I have no clue.
All I know is that my dog wastrembling in the chair in the
corner of my bedroom and I'mlike just don't hurt my dog,
hurt me, don't hurt my dog.
(25:49):
At this point my brain wasalways thinking for a way out,
thinking for a way out.
You know, look forvulnerabilities, look for a way
out.
You know.
That was why I tried to get thephone.
That's why I tried to push himoff of me and squirm a lot, you
know, because he was drunk and Ifeel.
(26:11):
But he was physically just toostrong.
He was very heavy weight Ibarely weighed 100, like you
said, and I was in goodcondition physically.
After he turned me over, Inoticed the knife on the bed.
(26:31):
When he rolled me over, heyanked me over by the shoulders
and threw me back on the bedface up and I started to scream.
Of course a hand went over mymouth and he let go and he
realized nobody could hear me.
(26:52):
My voice was getting weaker, mysounds were getting more
shallow, I could hardly breathebecause of the punches in my
back, and he punched me in theface, knocked me out for a
couple of seconds and when Iwoke up I see him trying to push
(27:13):
my legs over my head, above myhead, so he could sodomize me
from the front.
Well, that woke me up quite abit and I reared back with both
my feet when the opportunityarose and I kicked him as hard
as I could at the shoulders andhe went flying about seven or
(27:38):
eight feet into the vanitysection of my bedroom.
So at that point I jumped up.
He grabbed my ankle, couldn'thang on to it.
I squiggled out of that and Iran out the back door barefoot,
(27:59):
no panties on, no nothing,screaming for Dorothy, my
neighbor, but she was very heavyand handicapped.
I knew she couldn't do anythingexcept open the door and she
was too close.
He was right behind me and Ijust ran down the back of the
apartment complex and I saw myneighbor upstairs and I screamed
(28:21):
for her name.
She saw me running.
By the grace of God, she heardme, she saw me and she's like
come up here, come up here, comeup here, and I ran upstairs to
her apartment.
She opened the door and flungit open and she grabbed a beach
(28:44):
towel because she was a beachhound and wrapped it around my
bottom and I told her whathappened and she went back out
onto her patio.
And she went back out onto herpatio and I followed her and we
could see him throw thegardening tool and the knife
into the lake.
He had his pants down aroundhis ankles, he was still there
(29:12):
and she was on the phone with911.
So at that point she went andgot me a pair of pants I could
wear and changed my shirt and Iremember just sitting there
(29:34):
waiting for the police to comeand I was shaky like I am now.
They were there in a matter ofthree minutes.
It was very quick responsebecause we were in the back of
the apartment complex.
There was a gate they had tocome through and they were quick
.
They had to be there.
Like it probably took them aminute just to get to the back
(29:55):
of the apartment complex, evenflying.
They came up to her apartmentand I was in the living room at
this point and they took a shortstatement from me there, but
within minutes they had the dogsout.
But within minutes they had thedogs out.
(30:20):
Within a few minutes after thatthey had swimmers out in the
lake.
They had swarmed my apartment.
It was quite an entourage, I'lltell you.
It was wonderful to see theyresponded so quickly and I had a
(30:41):
female officer with me sittingwith me and um, and the sergeant
arrived almost immediately andhe was in special crimes,
special victims unit along withbut I had the regular police
(31:02):
along with his team and myneighbor, whose name I won't
mention.
She was there in a serious timeof need and I honestly believe
that God put her there and shewas so quick to get me new
(31:25):
clothes.
She said the police are goingto want your top.
She was so smart and so savvy.
She stayed calm.
Let me break down for a fewminutes.
And all the while I kept sayingmake sure my dog is okay, make
(31:47):
sure Willie's okay, please,because he was in the apartment
after I left for quite a whileand I didn't want anything to
happen to him or my birds.
I couldn't have kids and he wasmy baby, so it was just very
(32:08):
surreal.
I felt like I was in a movie.
You know that wasn't happeningto me and I was like this spirit
on the wall watching what washappening.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Did they catch him?
Speaker 2 (32:23):
No they never did, which is also part of my story.
Eventually they took my clothesthat my friend had given me and
that I was wearing for DNA.
They had already gotteneverything.
They'd stripped my sheets.
They had gone to my apartment.
They said it was all smashed upbut Willie was okay and my
(32:51):
friend went down and got him andbrought him to her apartment
and she also had a dog and theygot along just fine.
I didn't get to see him before.
I had to go to the crisiscenter so I rode with the
detective on the way.
She gave me fresh clothes.
(33:12):
My friend gave me fresh clothesto wear.
Poor thing lost two sets ofclothes that day.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
If this is hard, I'm working to transition you out of
having to continue to talkabout the experience if it's
difficult, if it's difficult.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
It's okay because it's tough, but it's okay
because the process was sothorough.
So I rode with the detective,followed by a police car, down
to the crisis center.
They did the whole rape kit onme and they found torn vaginal
skin and torn rectal skin andblood.
(33:56):
They got a lot of DNA, theytold me, and the detective and I
stayed in touch.
I gave a full statement, like Idid just to you, to the
detective, and probably in moredetail, because I gave him a
description and what he waswearing.
(34:18):
I noticed everything about him,just like I was raised to do,
and got in a bad situation.
The detective and I stayed intouch daily for weeks, daily for
(34:40):
weeks, and it turns out thatthe guy who raped me had also
been matched to two other rapesin the same city, but they
didn't have a name, and alsoseveral rapes in Mexico, but the
Mexican police would notrelease his name to the
sheriff's office so they couldput a name to him.
(35:02):
So our police never caught him.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Was he a resident of Mexico?
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Oh yeah, of Mexico.
He traveled back and forth.
That was his thing.
He was illegal and he'd been injail several times in Mexico.
They didn't keep him.
They never kept him very longbecause Mexican jails get
crowded and they let him go.
I don't know if he ever gotcaught in Mexico or not, got
(35:36):
caught in Mexico or not.
Again, the detectives said hetraveled regularly between
Mexico and the southeast area ofthe United States and that
included Louisiana.
He matched DNA in Louisiana andFlorida, so he was a real
traveler.
So I just hope really that thiscan empower women to report
(35:59):
this stuff.
Don't let it go.
I even called the judge overthe weekend, that Sunday.
I told him what happened.
I said, but I can do jury dutytomorrow.
He's like no, you can't, you'restaying home and you're
dismissed.
And I called my boss thatSunday and told her what
(36:23):
happened briefly and she's likeno, you're on leave.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Do you live with fear that he would come back, but
how?
Also the greatest justice I'mthinking and I could definitely
be wrong, please correct mewould be in capturing him and
putting him in jail or whateverthe sentence is.
And that didn't happen for you,right?
Speaker 2 (36:50):
And I'm hoping to get some kind of closure with this
podcast because it has been thatlong.
And yes, I lived in fear.
The media were out of controlafter this.
They wanted me to go on TV withmy face blackened out.
I wouldn't do it, but I gave agood description of the guy.
(37:12):
It did make the papers and theyhounded the gate.
I lived with my friend for acouple of weeks and when the
media wouldn't let up, I movedout of her place.
I went back to my apartment.
A couple weeks later I got someclothes and I stayed with a
(37:33):
friend of mine that lived in anearby town, who was just as
gracious as you could believe.
I was very fortunate there, butI did not go home.
Luckily, my dog was not harmed.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Did you ever go back?
Yep, and you lived there.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
I did.
I moved the furniture around, Icleaned the carpet.
I couldn't afford to move.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Was it triggering?
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yes, how did you deal with that?
Well, I was going throughcounseling and if I hadn't been
going through counseling,frankly I wouldn't have been
able to do it.
You know, she walked me throughwhat I could do.
My parents offered for me tomove back in with them, but that
I didn't feel was an option.
(38:24):
Number one, it was 20 milesaway from my job, more away from
my job.
And number two, I felt like Ineeded to face it.
You know, I felt like I neededto face it.
You know, I didn't sleep.
I was on medication for a whileto sleep.
I got an alarm system within twoweeks after I was back into the
(38:46):
apartment, a full-fledged alarmsystem on every window, every
door.
Even my neighbors could hearthe alarm if it was set off.
I had an outdoor horn, so Ifelt safer.
The media knew that.
(39:06):
It was back in the corner ofthe complex and I even had a guy
with a camera following me intomy apartment saying do you know
who it was?
Do you know who it was?
Which apartment was it?
I'm like I don't know, I don'tknow.
Leave her alone.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
As a woman of faith.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
did you ever ask God why did you let this happen to
me?
I did, and the answer that Ieventually got I meditated on it
, I prayed about it was that heknew he was with me, he gave me
the strength to get out when Icould get out and to think
logically, and that my faith wasgoing to grow stronger and that
(39:55):
I would become a strongerperson.
That's what I got from myprayer Many, many, many prayers.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
And how long did it take you to get that message?
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Almost a year.
Luckily, I had a counselor thatwas also a woman of faith.
We prayed before every session.
I saw her for two years.
Afterwards.
She extended my counselingbecause she knew I needed it.
I thank God for her every day.
(40:28):
She's still working at the sameplace at the Crisis Center.
I love her.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
There are lots of angels on earth, aren't there?
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Oh yes, there are.
My friend was an angel and Itold her that.
You know, when I moved here andI found out she was so close by
, we connected and she came forlunch and we talked about it and
she said I was the person youneeded at that point in time and
(40:58):
I was there and God knew it.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Absolutely.
How do you feel?
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Relieved right now Relieved, much calmer.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Yeah, I was actually going to ask you because, while
I don't record video, like wecan see each other and I can see
when you speak that you areliterally back in.
What are you going to do nowfor the rest of the day to heal
the emotional memories,everything that you have just
been through?
Speaker 2 (41:36):
been through.
I'm going to use the morning tomeditate about it and pray
about it.
Maybe let all my crittersmingle and watch them a little
bit, and I'll probably find somerelease in my artwork this
afternoon.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Yes, you are a beautiful artist and I think
that is another gift from God,and I think, in all honesty,
when it comes to angels on earth, I think we are given gifts in
different ways.
I agree when I look at you, Isee an angel who God has
bestowed this beautiful spiritupon.
(42:08):
No matter what you have beenthrough, you have persevered
through it, you have leaned intoGod for strength and he gave
you this beautiful ability todraw and paint, and you share
that with others generously.
I do, yes, you do, and that isa beautiful thing because, like
(42:28):
you said earlier, you could havelived in darkness, right?
Speaker 2 (42:33):
I could have curled up like in fetal position and
not said anything or, you know,not let the police know exactly
what happened, or I could havegone on television.
But I knew a lot of people,since I worked in one city and
lived in another and I hadfriends in both areas and you
(42:54):
know it was in all thenewspapers and I figured that
was enough public media.
But I didn't want to curl upand just ignore it like it
didn't happen, I imagine.
Frankly, I'd like to think hegot caught and if he didn't get
(43:16):
caught, then with the uptake anddeportations now he's going to
get caught now and I have faithin that and I'm just grateful
that God has been with me.
I couldn't have gotten throughit without God.
(43:38):
I just could not.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Do you find solace in knowing that you are not alone.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
I do and I've spoken to women one-on-one many, many
times.
I haven't gone through thedetails on one, many, many times
I haven't gone through thedetails, but I have spoken to
women one on one about theirreactions and they don't want to
talk about it and they don'twant to go for counseling.
They're like I'll handle it onmy own.
(44:07):
You can't At least that's myexperience.
You just can't At least that'smy experience.
You just can't do it on yourown, you know, and admitting
that you can't do it on your ownis half the battle.
Absolutely Finding a therapistis the second part.
(44:30):
Once you start opening up to atherapist, the sooner the better
.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
And how has sharing today helped in your healing
process.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
Oh, I think it's especially after thinking about
it during the day and meditatingthis morning and this afternoon
.
I think it's going to become myclosure on the incident.
Every year I have had thosenightmares.
It starts in mid-March andlasts until through April.
(45:08):
I've had to have medication tocalm down the nightmares.
I want to be off thatmedication.
I don't want to take it nextyear.
I don't want to take it anytime.
You know, I just don't.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
You know, sometimes when I see you, we pray.
Would it bring a lot of comfortto you if you said a prayer and
we prayed together for all ofthose who either have shared
their voice or are stuck in thedarkness, not sure what to do,
or maybe don't believe in God.
Can we say prayer, sure?
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Absolutely.
Father God, thank you for thisoutlet, thank you for Jennifer,
thank you for the release thatI've been offered the
opportunity to have today.
Thank you that it will helpwomen of all sizes, shapes,
(46:01):
colors, faiths to come forwardwith their stories.
It is cathartic, it isreleasing, and we thank you for
the opportunity.
But, jesus, I couldn't havemade it through without you,
knowing that your hand is on myshoulder, knowing it will be
(46:24):
forever.
In Jesus' name, we pray Amen.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
Amen Trace.
Before we go today, is thereany final message you would like
to share with the women and themen who are suffering?
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Yes, I'd like for them to feel empowered.
I don't want them to feel likethey are victims for the rest of
their lives.
Victimhood is a mindset.
Feel empowered to go forward,tell your story and move on,
with God behind you, guiding infront of you, guiding you.
(47:03):
Take that as a solace that he'salways there.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
Teresa, thank you for those words of encouragement
and inspiration.
Thank you for being my guesttoday on the I Need Blue podcast
.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
You're very welcome.
Thank you for having me, ofcourse.
Imagine when you share your darkest hours they
become someone else's light.
I'm Jennifer Lee, a globalcommunity storyteller, host,
author and survivor, guiding youthrough genuine, unfiltered
conversations.
Together we break the silence,shatter stigma and amplify
(00:34):
voices that need to be heard.
Each episode stands as atestament to survival, healing
and reclaiming your power.
Listen to I Need Blue on ApplePodcasts, spotify, youtube or
your favorite platform.
Learn more at wwwineedbluenet.
(01:00):
Trigger warning I Need Blueshares real-life stories of
trauma, violence and abuse meantto empower and support.
Please take care of yourself andask for help if needed.
Now let's begin today's story.
(01:20):
She's barely a hundred pounds,but what she carries is
immeasurable.
Beneath her fragile frame is aheart of iron, unshakable
perseverance and a smile thatshines with the warmth of the
sun.
I often say everyone has astory, and it's true.
(01:43):
Most people walk through lifewearing invisible armor, smiles
hiding the weight of pain,trauma and memories too heavy to
speak.
Imagine carrying that burdenfor years.
At some point it becomes toomuch.
That's when we realize it'stime to let go, time to lose the
(02:09):
weight of trauma, ptsd,depression and take our voice
back.
One day, teresa said to me Ihave a story.
Saturday, march 31st, 7.26 am.
She heard glass shatter andassumed it was the handyman.
(02:31):
But it wasn't.
It was the start of a nightmare.
A stranger was outside her homeand minutes later she endured
something no one ever should shewould be raped in the very
place where she should have feltsafest.
(02:51):
The details remain etched inher mind clear, precise.
It's not just a memory, it'sher truth.
Though Teresa was raised bygovernment investigator parents
who taught her to recognizedanger, nothing could have
prepared her for what happenedthat day, because maybe nothing
(03:13):
ever truly can.
But there's a truth that ringsloud and clear you never truly
know how strong you are untilyou're faced with danger.
Know how strong you are untilyou're faced with danger.
You never truly understand thedepths of your resilience until
you are forced to fight your waythrough it.
(03:34):
Before we began recording,teresa said I think this is
going to be cathartic.
For me, her story is more thanher own.
It's a spark that could inspireothers to speak their truth.
Today, it's not just aboutsharing her story.
(03:55):
It's about shedding the weightof the past and embracing the
power of reclaiming what wasonce taken power of reclaiming
what was once taken.
It's time to take our voicesback.
Teresa, thank you so much forbeing my friend and for being my
(04:19):
guest today.
Welcome to the.
I Need.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Blue podcast.
Thank you very much, Jennifer.
I really appreciate thisopportunity.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Thank you very much, Jennifer.
I really appreciate thisopportunity.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Absolutely, you know.
I want to start with asking,because not many of us grow up
with government investigativeparents.
What was that like?
Lots of phone number changes,parents very careful about where
we went, what we did.
My sister prefers to say theywere very too strict, let's put
it that way.
I prefer to say they taught usa lot of lessons and warned us
(05:07):
about what we could face.
And when I mentioned to my dadthat I was interested in going
into the same field, he lookedme square in the face and he
said don't.
He said it's too dangerous andI don't want my daughter being
put in danger did you heed hiswarning or did your own?
(05:31):
well, I tried to apply for thelocal sheriff's office.
I tried even without himknowing I was old enough and I
couldn't pass the physicalbecause of my eyes.
So you know there was no sensein mentioning it.
You know at the time, yes.
(05:53):
So I figured if I couldn't passthe physical for that then I
probably wouldn't pass thephysical for anything else.
So I could have done somethingon the back end and pursued
criminal justice in another way,maybe in legal field or
something like that.
I chose to go into anotherfield that was more humanities
(06:16):
related and in advertising, so Ididn't have to face too much of
what I grew up with.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Right.
Did they ever share any storiesor experiences with you, or was
that more of a hush hush?
Speaker 2 (06:32):
A lot of it was hush hush because it was still under
investigation.
My dad was not allowed to talkabout anything that was still
under investigation, but I didhave access to his closed cases,
everything that was on record,and sometimes he would let me
read his copy of the transcriptsfrom the trials, which was
(06:54):
absolutely fascinating for me,and that was one reason I really
wanted to pursue the field andI really wanted to pursue the
field, anyway.
So I learned a lot from thetranscripts about what he faced
and about being on stakeouts andthings like that.
And stakeouts aren't all likethey see on TV, they're peanut
(07:17):
butter sandwiches that you takewith you and you wait for hours
and hours and hours, sometimesfor nothing to happen, you know,
and a thermos of coffee.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
So what was dating like?
I have to ask.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Oh my heavens, my dad would answer the door and
literally size them up and checkthem out.
There were a couple that heactually turned away and said no
, you're not good enough to datemy daughter.
And in retrospect, of course,he was right and he's like do
(07:50):
not accept dates without meknowing who it is.
And my mom too.
Both of them.
They had to meet them first.
They went through the grillingwho are you?
What are your plans for thefuture?
What do you do now?
Where do you go to school?
You know all of that and mostof the time when I started
(08:15):
dating, it was parental guidance.
Along the way they had to drivethe kids you know a parent and
then they'd wait for us in thecar if we were having dinner or
that kind of thing.
It was really or a movie.
It was fine.
In retrospect it was just fineand I understand why they did
(08:37):
that.
And the other parents of theboys understood too.
And I eventually started datingon my own and started making
different types of decisions,remembering what my mom and dad
had given me as parameters tofollow.
I pretty much stayed within theparameters, you know, except
(09:00):
for maybe the length of the hairor a beard and mustache.
You know that kind of thing.
My sister, on the other hand,at one point she was dating a
guy who worked for a subversivenewsletter based out of Cuba,
and my father had a sit downwith us and he said do you
realize?
I could lose my job, your foodon the table, if you continue to
(09:25):
see this young man behind ourbacks.
I only saw my dad cry twice,three times.
Once was that day, once waswhen I got married the first
time and once when my motherdied.
He was a very, very strongcharacter and my hero.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
What did you learn from watching your hero a very
strong person cry?
Speaker 2 (09:55):
That everybody has some vulnerability, everybody
has a crack in that shell has acrack in that shell, and it made
me feel like he was more human.
I don't know if my sister feltthat because the conversation
was truly directed at thesituation that she was in, but I
(10:19):
certainly hope so.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
I know in sharing today, there's definitely a part
of you that's feelingvulnerability.
We were talking about this.
Are you drawing some of yourstrength from your dad?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Oh yes, oh yes, I have his genes.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Well, thank you dad.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yes, I have his genes in many, many ways.
I've got my mom's genes when itcomes to size, my dad's genes
when it comes to character.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I love it.
Thank you so much for sharingall of that.
I love getting to know ourguests and I think it's really
important for the audience to beable to understand that as well
.
So thank you again for sharing,of course.
So, moving on to your story,what year was it?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
It was 2007.
It was 18 years ago and I'mhoping by saying what I have to
say will release the negativeenergy that I have every single
year.
In March, I start having wickednightmares.
And it's been 18 years andyou'd think I'd quote be over it
(11:32):
.
But you never get over it,never.
My dad gave me a lot of strengthafterwards.
My concern was oh my God, whatam I going to say to my parents?
But they raised me.
To be honest, they treated melike an adult that got into a
(11:52):
bad situation.
That was not my fault.
It took me days to tell them,days.
But my dad was the first tosuggest that I start carrying a
weapon and learn how to use it,even though he had trained us as
(12:13):
kids about guns and gun safetyand taking us to the range and
outdoor ranges, and taught mehow to shoot a shotgun and his
couple of his weapons not hisservice revolver by any means.
That was totally outside therealm of reality.
(12:37):
But it never occurred to me toown one of my own.
It never occurred to me to ownone of my own.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Delicate question.
It took you a few days to tellyour parents.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
How long did it take you to say the word rape?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Well, it didn't take me long because I had to give a
statement after it was all saidand done and the detective was
very, very understanding.
You could tell he'd been in thefield for a long time.
I was treated with respect.
He listened to every word thatI said.
He wrote everything down, thingdown.
(13:29):
Also, because of my upbringing,I noticed a lot of details that
were very helpful to them inthe investigation and he told me
that I'd given one of the mostvivid descriptions of what
happened in his career.
So I was very, very glad that Icomplied and didn't curl up
like a ball in the fetalposition and say no, I can't
(13:53):
talk about it.
And that strength came from mydad for sure.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yes, you lived alone at this time, correct?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Yes, you lived alone at this time, correct?
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Yes, Are you comfortable, in this moment,
taking us what it was like atthose?
Speaker 2 (14:13):
moments, 18 years, exactly what happened, except
that detective I mean my dearestfriend knows about the incident
.
The woman who was actually mysavior was a friend that I ran
(14:35):
to after the incident Incidentis such a light word Afterwards
knew what happened.
She knew more of the detailsthan anybody because she heard
me.
I mean, I babbled at first butshe calmed me down quite a bit
(14:57):
and that's part of the story too, but nobody's ever heard it
before too, but nobody's everheard it before.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Well, thank you for trusting me to share it and for
sharing it with our audience.
As I said in the beginning,this is going to spark somebody
who hasn't been able to findtheir voice yet, maybe hasn't
been able to say the word rape,and name it for what it actually
is that violation, even if it'sjust taking that first step.
(15:28):
So what you are doing today isamazing, I hope it can help
somebody.
It will.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Too many people, especially women, vulnerable
women, are afraid to report it.
Women, vulnerable women, areafraid to report it.
They're afraid to say it even,especially date rape, because
they somehow or another feellike it's their fault because
they went out on a date with theguy or men.
I've heard of men being raped,you know, drugged, and they are
(16:04):
way too embarrassed to tell thetruth.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
You are right.
Your story began with shatteredglass.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
So I was sleeping.
It was a weekend, saturday.
I was on jury duty at the timeand I was awakened by the
shattered glass.
And it was early in the morning.
(16:36):
I remember looking at the clockwhen I went.
Anyway, I went to the window inmy dining room and the glass in
two of my panes had been brokenout.
They were awning windows, sothe two bottom panes were broken
and there was glass everywhere.
I was just grateful it was onthe floor and not near my birds,
(16:58):
because I kept my birds in thedining room.
I had no dining room table.
I saw somebody hunched overoutside my window and I thought
it was my handyman our handyman,because I had a problem with
the bottom window pane closing.
All the way Before that I'dthrown on some shorts because I
(17:21):
was sleeping and I didn't wantto go out undressed.
On some shorts because I wassleeping and I didn't want to go
out undressed.
So I went out to see Ulyssesthat was the name of our
handyman.
I called his name but I didn'thear him call back.
Great man always on the ballfixing stuff.
I had just reported the windowthe day before and I figured
(17:44):
he'd come early before the day.
Went crazy on him because I wasin the corner unit and he knew
that I wanted my window fixed assoon as I could get it fixed.
So I opened the back door and Iwent out onto the patio and this
(18:05):
man came, stood up from mydining room window and he had
one of my gardening tools, oneof my sharp gardening tools, in
his hand, and it wasn't Ulysses.
He had broken the glass with mygardening tool trying to get in
.
He headed towards me Mike, whatdo you want?
(18:32):
Who are you?
I realized he was drunk, hesmelled like alcohol and I don't
know where he came from.
But before I knew it he shovedme down onto the concrete and
literally jumped on top of me.
He tossed the gardening tooland pulled out a knife.
(18:58):
I don't know where the knifecame from, but it was really
rusty, dirty.
He might have gotten it becauseI lived in an apartment that
had a view of a lake and a golfcourse that was not used anymore
.
He could have picked it up inthe field.
I don't know.
But all I knew was that if hecut me with that, it was
(19:21):
infection crazy and I wouldprobably die.
And he had it at my throat, sobleeding out didn't even occur
to me, it was the infection.
I mean, how silly is that?
But I kept pushing him off,trying to push him off, push him
(19:44):
off and push him off and fight,and I kept crawling backwards
and wiggling backwards towardsthe door.
And I made it to the door and Iopened the screen door.
I managed to get that open, butwhile he was getting up and I
(20:05):
ran to my apartment and heshoved me down, punched me in
the back and I hit the floor.
Well, he came in, left thescreen door open and I kept
saying this is very odd in mybrain what is happening?
Don't let my dog out.
Oh my God.
I just kept trying to say tohim don't let my dog out.
(20:29):
And he couldn't speak English.
He was, it turns out, mexican,of Mexican descent.
He kept talking to me inSpanish and waving the knife,
and I was still on the floor atthis time.
(20:52):
He turned me over and he startedpulling down my pants.
He turned me over and hestarted pulling down my pants
and at that point I rememberthinking, jesus Christ, I'm
being raped.
And I tried to squirm out ofthat, because he was trying,
using both hands, to pull downmy pants with the knife in his
(21:14):
hand, and no, my pants keptcoming off.
So he raped me right there onthe living room floor and I'm
thinking okay, comply, don'tfight.
Unless you see an out, don'tfight, just comply, because
(21:39):
that's what I was told to do tosave my life, if that was a
possibility of losing my lifeand there was.
So after he was finished, atthat point he grabbed me by the
throat and lifted me up.
He grabbed me by the throat andlifted me up.
I couldn't scream, I couldn'tholler, I kept screaming on the
(22:00):
patio.
He had one hand over my mouth,his body weight was on top of me
, and then he had the knife inthe other.
After he picked me up by thethroat, he started dragging me
(22:21):
further into the apartment.
Well, there were only two placesto go.
It was either well, three, thekitchen, the bathroom or the
bedroom.
And then he stopped grabbing meby the throat and he grabbed me
by the hair and starteddragging me down the hallway.
Well, when my hair let loose,he grabbed me by the arms and
stood me up, the knife to myneck, and shoved me into the
(22:48):
bedroom.
And I was trying to scream.
Nobody could hear me becauseeverybody was asleep and there
were thick walls and you know.
But he kept coming and lungedat me to shut up.
(23:12):
Thank God he didn't close thebedroom door, for the reasons
I'll tell you later and gave meanother punch in the back and I
landed on the bed face down.
(23:32):
Well, my phone in the bedroom.
We had already passed my cellphone.
My cell phone was in thekitchen and we had already
passed that.
So I tried to reach for thephone on the opposite side of
the bed, since I was face down,and he pulled the phone out of
(23:58):
the wall and onto the floor andhe sodomized me there.
At this point I had nounderwear and no pants on,
obviously, and he just keptgripping me by the neck from the
(24:21):
back of the neck and shoved myface down into the bed.
So I couldn't scream and Icouldn't make any noise and
obviously the phone was gone.
So that was out of the question.
And then he grabbed me by theshoulders and turned me over and
(24:43):
with one hand on my mouth, heraped me again from the front.
All this time, at least, I hadmy T-shirt on Still it was a
(25:03):
crop T-shirt because I wassleeping in it which eventually
ended up in evidence.
So he raped me again and thenat one point he had put the
knife down onto the bed becausehe needed both hands.
(25:27):
He tried to lift my legs.
I don't know how long this wenton.
At this point I have no clue.
All I know is that my dog wastrembling in the chair in the
corner of my bedroom and I'mlike just don't hurt my dog,
hurt me, don't hurt my dog.
(25:49):
At this point my brain wasalways thinking for a way out,
thinking for a way out.
You know, look forvulnerabilities, look for a way
out.
You know.
That was why I tried to get thephone.
That's why I tried to push himoff of me and squirm a lot, you
know, because he was drunk and Ifeel.
(26:11):
But he was physically just toostrong.
He was very heavy weight Ibarely weighed 100, like you
said, and I was in goodcondition physically.
After he turned me over, Inoticed the knife on the bed.
(26:31):
When he rolled me over, heyanked me over by the shoulders
and threw me back on the bedface up and I started to scream.
Of course a hand went over mymouth and he let go and he
realized nobody could hear me.
(26:52):
My voice was getting weaker, mysounds were getting more
shallow, I could hardly breathebecause of the punches in my
back, and he punched me in theface, knocked me out for a
couple of seconds and when Iwoke up I see him trying to push
(27:13):
my legs over my head, above myhead, so he could sodomize me
from the front.
Well, that woke me up quite abit and I reared back with both
my feet when the opportunityarose and I kicked him as hard
as I could at the shoulders andhe went flying about seven or
(27:38):
eight feet into the vanitysection of my bedroom.
So at that point I jumped up.
He grabbed my ankle, couldn'thang on to it.
I squiggled out of that and Iran out the back door barefoot,
(27:59):
no panties on, no nothing,screaming for Dorothy, my
neighbor, but she was very heavyand handicapped.
I knew she couldn't do anythingexcept open the door and she
was too close.
He was right behind me and Ijust ran down the back of the
apartment complex and I saw myneighbor upstairs and I screamed
(28:21):
for her name.
She saw me running.
By the grace of God, she heardme, she saw me and she's like
come up here, come up here, comeup here, and I ran upstairs to
her apartment.
She opened the door and flungit open and she grabbed a beach
(28:44):
towel because she was a beachhound and wrapped it around my
bottom and I told her whathappened and she went back out
onto her patio.
And she went back out onto herpatio and I followed her and we
could see him throw thegardening tool and the knife
into the lake.
He had his pants down aroundhis ankles, he was still there
(29:12):
and she was on the phone with911.
So at that point she went andgot me a pair of pants I could
wear and changed my shirt and Iremember just sitting there
(29:34):
waiting for the police to comeand I was shaky like I am now.
They were there in a matter ofthree minutes.
It was very quick responsebecause we were in the back of
the apartment complex.
There was a gate they had tocome through and they were quick
.
They had to be there.
Like it probably took them aminute just to get to the back
(29:55):
of the apartment complex, evenflying.
They came up to her apartmentand I was in the living room at
this point and they took a shortstatement from me there, but
within minutes they had the dogsout.
But within minutes they had thedogs out.
(30:20):
Within a few minutes after thatthey had swimmers out in the
lake.
They had swarmed my apartment.
It was quite an entourage, I'lltell you.
It was wonderful to see theyresponded so quickly and I had a
(30:41):
female officer with me sittingwith me and um, and the sergeant
arrived almost immediately andhe was in special crimes,
special victims unit along withbut I had the regular police
(31:02):
along with his team and myneighbor, whose name I won't
mention.
She was there in a serious timeof need and I honestly believe
that God put her there and shewas so quick to get me new
(31:25):
clothes.
She said the police are goingto want your top.
She was so smart and so savvy.
She stayed calm.
Let me break down for a fewminutes.
And all the while I kept sayingmake sure my dog is okay, make
(31:47):
sure Willie's okay, please,because he was in the apartment
after I left for quite a whileand I didn't want anything to
happen to him or my birds.
I couldn't have kids and he wasmy baby, so it was just very
(32:08):
surreal.
I felt like I was in a movie.
You know that wasn't happeningto me and I was like this spirit
on the wall watching what washappening.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Did they catch him?
Speaker 2 (32:23):
No they never did, which is also part of my story.
Eventually they took my clothesthat my friend had given me and
that I was wearing for DNA.
They had already gotteneverything.
They'd stripped my sheets.
They had gone to my apartment.
They said it was all smashed upbut Willie was okay and my
(32:51):
friend went down and got him andbrought him to her apartment
and she also had a dog and theygot along just fine.
I didn't get to see him before.
I had to go to the crisiscenter so I rode with the
detective on the way.
She gave me fresh clothes.
(33:12):
My friend gave me fresh clothesto wear.
Poor thing lost two sets ofclothes that day.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
If this is hard, I'm working to transition you out of
having to continue to talkabout the experience if it's
difficult, if it's difficult.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
It's okay because it's tough, but it's okay
because the process was sothorough.
So I rode with the detective,followed by a police car, down
to the crisis center.
They did the whole rape kit onme and they found torn vaginal
skin and torn rectal skin andblood.
(33:56):
They got a lot of DNA, theytold me, and the detective and I
stayed in touch.
I gave a full statement, like Idid just to you, to the
detective, and probably in moredetail, because I gave him a
description and what he waswearing.
(34:18):
I noticed everything about him,just like I was raised to do,
and got in a bad situation.
The detective and I stayed intouch daily for weeks, daily for
(34:40):
weeks, and it turns out thatthe guy who raped me had also
been matched to two other rapesin the same city, but they
didn't have a name, and alsoseveral rapes in Mexico, but the
Mexican police would notrelease his name to the
sheriff's office so they couldput a name to him.
(35:02):
So our police never caught him.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Was he a resident of Mexico?
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Oh yeah, of Mexico.
He traveled back and forth.
That was his thing.
He was illegal and he'd been injail several times in Mexico.
They didn't keep him.
They never kept him very longbecause Mexican jails get
crowded and they let him go.
I don't know if he ever gotcaught in Mexico or not, got
(35:36):
caught in Mexico or not.
Again, the detectives said hetraveled regularly between
Mexico and the southeast area ofthe United States and that
included Louisiana.
He matched DNA in Louisiana andFlorida, so he was a real
traveler.
So I just hope really that thiscan empower women to report
(35:59):
this stuff.
Don't let it go.
I even called the judge overthe weekend, that Sunday.
I told him what happened.
I said, but I can do jury dutytomorrow.
He's like no, you can't, you'restaying home and you're
dismissed.
And I called my boss thatSunday and told her what
(36:23):
happened briefly and she's likeno, you're on leave.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Do you live with fear that he would come back, but
how?
Also the greatest justice I'mthinking and I could definitely
be wrong, please correct mewould be in capturing him and
putting him in jail or whateverthe sentence is.
And that didn't happen for you,right?
Speaker 2 (36:50):
And I'm hoping to get some kind of closure with this
podcast because it has been thatlong.
And yes, I lived in fear.
The media were out of controlafter this.
They wanted me to go on TV withmy face blackened out.
I wouldn't do it, but I gave agood description of the guy.
(37:12):
It did make the papers and theyhounded the gate.
I lived with my friend for acouple of weeks and when the
media wouldn't let up, I movedout of her place.
I went back to my apartment.
A couple weeks later I got someclothes and I stayed with a
(37:33):
friend of mine that lived in anearby town, who was just as
gracious as you could believe.
I was very fortunate there, butI did not go home.
Luckily, my dog was not harmed.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
Did you ever go back?
Yep, and you lived there.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
I did.
I moved the furniture around, Icleaned the carpet.
I couldn't afford to move.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Was it triggering?
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Yes, how did you deal with that?
Well, I was going throughcounseling and if I hadn't been
going through counseling,frankly I wouldn't have been
able to do it.
You know, she walked me throughwhat I could do.
My parents offered for me tomove back in with them, but that
I didn't feel was an option.
(38:24):
Number one, it was 20 milesaway from my job, more away from
my job.
And number two, I felt like Ineeded to face it.
You know, I felt like I neededto face it.
You know, I didn't sleep.
I was on medication for a whileto sleep.
I got an alarm system within twoweeks after I was back into the
(38:46):
apartment, a full-fledged alarmsystem on every window, every
door.
Even my neighbors could hearthe alarm if it was set off.
I had an outdoor horn, so Ifelt safer.
The media knew that.
(39:06):
It was back in the corner ofthe complex and I even had a guy
with a camera following me intomy apartment saying do you know
who it was?
Do you know who it was?
Which apartment was it?
I'm like I don't know, I don'tknow.
Leave her alone.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
As a woman of faith.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
did you ever ask God why did you let this happen to
me?
I did, and the answer that Ieventually got I meditated on it
, I prayed about it was that heknew he was with me, he gave me
the strength to get out when Icould get out and to think
logically, and that my faith wasgoing to grow stronger and that
(39:55):
I would become a strongerperson.
That's what I got from myprayer Many, many, many prayers.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
And how long did it take you to get that message?
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Almost a year.
Luckily, I had a counselor thatwas also a woman of faith.
We prayed before every session.
I saw her for two years.
Afterwards.
She extended my counselingbecause she knew I needed it.
I thank God for her every day.
(40:28):
She's still working at the sameplace at the Crisis Center.
I love her.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
There are lots of angels on earth, aren't there?
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Oh yes, there are.
My friend was an angel and Itold her that.
You know, when I moved here andI found out she was so close by
, we connected and she came forlunch and we talked about it and
she said I was the person youneeded at that point in time and
(40:58):
I was there and God knew it.
Speaker 1 (41:01):
Absolutely.
How do you feel?
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Relieved right now Relieved, much calmer.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Yeah, I was actually going to ask you because, while
I don't record video, like wecan see each other and I can see
when you speak that you areliterally back in.
What are you going to do nowfor the rest of the day to heal
the emotional memories,everything that you have just
been through?
Speaker 2 (41:36):
been through.
I'm going to use the morning tomeditate about it and pray
about it.
Maybe let all my crittersmingle and watch them a little
bit, and I'll probably find somerelease in my artwork this
afternoon.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Yes, you are a beautiful artist and I think
that is another gift from God,and I think, in all honesty,
when it comes to angels on earth, I think we are given gifts in
different ways.
I agree when I look at you, Isee an angel who God has
bestowed this beautiful spiritupon.
(42:08):
No matter what you have beenthrough, you have persevered
through it, you have leaned intoGod for strength and he gave
you this beautiful ability todraw and paint, and you share
that with others generously.
I do, yes, you do, and that isa beautiful thing because, like
(42:28):
you said earlier, you could havelived in darkness, right?
Speaker 2 (42:33):
I could have curled up like in fetal position and
not said anything or, you know,not let the police know exactly
what happened, or I could havegone on television.
But I knew a lot of people,since I worked in one city and
lived in another and I hadfriends in both areas and you
(42:54):
know it was in all thenewspapers and I figured that
was enough public media.
But I didn't want to curl upand just ignore it like it
didn't happen, I imagine.
Frankly, I'd like to think hegot caught and if he didn't get
(43:16):
caught, then with the uptake anddeportations now he's going to
get caught now and I have faithin that and I'm just grateful
that God has been with me.
I couldn't have gotten throughit without God.
(43:38):
I just could not.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Do you find solace in knowing that you are not alone.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
I do and I've spoken to women one-on-one many, many
times.
I haven't gone through thedetails on one, many, many times
I haven't gone through thedetails, but I have spoken to
women one on one about theirreactions and they don't want to
talk about it and they don'twant to go for counseling.
They're like I'll handle it onmy own.
(44:07):
You can't At least that's myexperience.
You just can't At least that'smy experience.
You just can't do it on yourown, you know, and admitting
that you can't do it on your ownis half the battle.
Absolutely Finding a therapistis the second part.
(44:30):
Once you start opening up to atherapist, the sooner the better
.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
And how has sharing today helped in your healing
process.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
Oh, I think it's especially after thinking about
it during the day and meditatingthis morning and this afternoon
.
I think it's going to become myclosure on the incident.
Every year I have had thosenightmares.
It starts in mid-March andlasts until through April.
(45:08):
I've had to have medication tocalm down the nightmares.
I want to be off thatmedication.
I don't want to take it nextyear.
I don't want to take it anytime.
You know, I just don't.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
You know, sometimes when I see you, we pray.
Would it bring a lot of comfortto you if you said a prayer and
we prayed together for all ofthose who either have shared
their voice or are stuck in thedarkness, not sure what to do,
or maybe don't believe in God.
Can we say prayer, sure?
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Absolutely.
Father God, thank you for thisoutlet, thank you for Jennifer,
thank you for the release thatI've been offered the
opportunity to have today.
Thank you that it will helpwomen of all sizes, shapes,
(46:01):
colors, faiths to come forwardwith their stories.
It is cathartic, it isreleasing, and we thank you for
the opportunity.
But, jesus, I couldn't havemade it through without you,
knowing that your hand is on myshoulder, knowing it will be
(46:24):
forever.
In Jesus' name, we pray Amen.
Speaker 1 (46:30):
Amen Trace.
Before we go today, is thereany final message you would like
to share with the women and themen who are suffering?
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Yes, I'd like for them to feel empowered.
I don't want them to feel likethey are victims for the rest of
their lives.
Victimhood is a mindset.
Feel empowered to go forward,tell your story and move on,
with God behind you, guiding infront of you, guiding you.
(47:03):
Take that as a solace that he'salways there.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
Teresa, thank you for those words of encouragement
and inspiration.
Thank you for being my guesttoday on the I Need Blue podcast
.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
You're very welcome.
Thank you for having me, ofcourse.
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