Social Media & Influence on the Culture w/ Rob Hill Sr.

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm super.

(00:16):
Yeah, because she's I think she's going through that right now.
You know, I mean, so.
But hopefully that brings us.
They're giving me the eye like, all right, bro, let's start.
I mean, like, you're OK, Rob, you'll catch.
No, but a lot of this stuff we got to.
That's that's it's a good segue.
Yeah, yeah. It's definitely going to.

(00:37):
Connect to a bunch of the stuff.
Yeah, for sure.
But so let me go ahead, let me go ahead and introduce
as a special, special big Rob is what I call
Rob Hill, senior. What's up, man?
What's going on? Welcome, welcome to the I see you, bro podcast.
Today, we're talking about

(00:59):
media's influence on youth and culture.
And we thought that you would be a great person to bring into this conversation.
Just giving your track record your all of just who you are.
More than what you do and what you've done, we appreciate who you actively are.

(01:19):
And so that's why we wanted to invite you into this conversation.
Like bump what you've done as a black man or what people know you as.
We get to watch you every single, you know, every single day.
We know what it looks like for you.
Everybody doesn't get to know that.
So thank you. Shout out to you for coming in into this conversation, bro.
Thank you so much for sharing this space with the I see you, bro pod.

(01:44):
Cheers. Cheers.
All right, you're what you got for us, man.
Today, I want to start the conversation, you know, based on what we were just
speaking about.
But I wanted to ask each of you individually
how we were how you were able to forge your own identity
and any influence that social media had within that.

(02:08):
And I can start by saying that Twitter, as I remember, came around 2009.
I'm around 16 at that time.
Yeah. Instagram around 2011, around 18.
So this is this is me becoming my own person, my own man.
So I would say, like a lot of it was.

(02:31):
You feel lost in that time, right?
You're not sure if what you're doing is the right thing.
You're not sure about a lot of things, right?
So you in that point in time in my life, I was seeking externally for a lot of
answers, right?
Thinking that that's why I needed to go for them.
So social media, it was almost like I was just studying what a lot of people

(02:55):
were just saying, like, how do you carry yourself?
What's done here? What's done?
And I would just and I felt like I would just read up on it.
I would look and I would just like discard whatever I wasn't feeling
and then just try to apply whatever I felt, you know, would benefit me or was

(03:15):
right for me at that time. Was it always right?
No, of course not. But you learn through that process.
So whoever wants to go next, I'd love to learn about kind of how you were able to
like forge your own identity, you know, from your experience in downloading
these apps and kind of logging in for the first time and to, you know, where you are now.

(03:37):
I'll share.
I think for me, a lot of my a lot of my success, right, in my career has come from
social media.
A lot of opportunities for me have come from social media.
And so I think I started really taking it serious in about like 2016, right?

(04:00):
And I was going to start I was going to start I was going to start vlogging.
It was around that age where people had YouTube videos and, you know, like they were like,
you know, that's when influencer had become really, really popular from from my perspective.

(04:20):
And I felt like I was like, bro, that's cool.
But like, what if you like actually took that and you told stories about not only yourself
and your journey, but you did that for other people.
And so that's how I started my first brand is I like is I started creating and writing stories
about people in the seven five seven area.

(04:41):
Subconsciously, what I didn't know, though, is that I had figured out a formula to self soothe.
And in the background, what was happening is I noticed that people clapped when you won.

(05:05):
And it got a lot of attention.
I realized that we lived in a very, very fearful culture.
People were not taking chances.
So me taking a chance meant that I was in the top percent of I possibly was going to win
because there wasn't nobody doing it.
It was afraid.
Right.
So I knew that if I continue to win, I would continue to get claps.

(05:27):
Right.
It wasn't until recently that I figured out like, yo, bro, like you outside of what you're showing people.
Outside of your wins and your accolades in this identity that you're showing people,
you're still good enough outside of that.
Right.
And so it forced me to take off all of these mask and identities that I had created for myself that I had

(05:59):
kind of found safety in when it came to social media.
Right. Like as a kid.
Right. I never felt seen.
Right.
And so I was able to create this world for myself or this identity for myself in this space.
I was good at it.
You know, being able to tell a story.
Right.
That's a gift of mine.
Right.

(06:20):
And so social media, it has been a beautiful part.
Right.
But it has also been like a very daunting part to where I've had to be like, yo, this might not be the right space for you all the time.
This is a tool.
Right.
So I say that to say it's been great and amazing for my journey.
But here at the end of it, I'm realizing, like, if I'm being honest with you all, I talk to you all about it all the time.

(06:46):
It's like I can do without it a lot of times.
So, yeah.
What about you, Rob?
I'll jump in.
Yeah.
I think my upbringing probably had the most impact on me forming an identity.
I went to 11 schools before 12th grade.
I was constantly around different people and other environments.
And you just can't pretend.

(07:07):
Right.
What's that?
What's cool in California is not the same thing as school was cool in New Jersey.
What's cool in Virginia is not the same thing that was going on in North Carolina.
You have to learn to be OK with you and how you walk into the room, regardless of how other people respond to you.
I tried to apply that form of thinking to social media.
My identity in real life, I believed up until that point was somebody who brought some energy.

(07:35):
Right.
Somebody who was positive, somebody who could lead, somebody who was well-read, somebody who had a pretty good memory and could contribute something to the conversation.
Right.
Or at least spark a conversation that was worthwhile.
So, bring Twitter and these platforms.

(08:00):
My first...all right, so there's kind of two beliefs that I started growing up with.
It was like you could either be the contributor or the consumer.
So, my identity is that I'm a contributor.
Yeah, that's good.
I'm going to contribute.
So, on social media, it was an extension of my chance to contribute.

(08:24):
And what do I like?
I like quotes.
I've always liked quotes.
I've always...because I think quotes are digestible pieces of information that you can take action on.
Right.
And I love them for that purpose.
And I wanted to share more of these things.
It just so happens that I was kind of formed and shaped to be a writer.

(08:46):
Right.
My mom's a writer.
Her friends were writers.
And it really influenced how I saw myself existing.
When we talk about social media's impact on my identity, I think more than any other experience in the world, social media made me want to be me.

(09:08):
Like, I don't want to be anybody else.
I felt that.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, if we were to all write our problems on a plate, I would want mine.
Especially when you see so many mimicking others, too, in that space.
Social media taught me how many people were absent at clear purpose.

(09:31):
How many people...and it's not to say that they weren't assigned one.
They just did not...they weren't aware.
Right.
And for me, I gravitated to people who had good information.
I gravitated to people who felt unique.
Right.
But I really gravitated to people who I think had a presence offline.

(09:56):
To me, those are like the most fascinating people online because they don't pretend.
Right.
Like, I didn't come to social media because I thought everyone ignored me in all my classes.
I went to 11 schools.
I felt heard at every one of them.
I felt seen and remembered.
Like, that's one thing that I've always felt in my life.
Remembered.

(10:17):
And I've always thought, damn, that's a gift.
Right?
When you bounce around like this, you expect to be forgotten.
Right.
But it was something that wanted me to show up and be remembered.
Right?
So social media gave me another chance to make those impressions.
And I thought, like, you know, very young, my mom told me don't ever say or write something
that you can't sign your name beside.

(10:39):
So I wasn't worried about social media for, like, a while now.
I think, you know, when I'm 36 now, so to put this in context, I signed up for MySpace
in like 04, 03.
Damn.
I was sharing notes.
Like, when they dropped that, I was sharing my first poems and notes.
Prior to that, I would share my poems as the away message on AIM.

(11:01):
Oh, word.
Right?
And then Facebook had grown.
And I started sharing it there.
In 2007, I built my own blog spot and started, you know, sharing, like, trying to divert
the audience from Facebook to my own platform.
Right?
And then from there, I grew an email list.
But social media has always been an integral part about reaching the lands that my feet

(11:26):
can't walk to yet.
Right?
I've been able to sell books in 50 plus countries because of social media.
Right?
And the fact that good ideas can travel fast there if they reach the right eyes.
And reflective prompts can travel fast.
Like, so much information can travel fast if people feel like, damn, that's something
for me in there.
You know?
So informing my identity, social media really made me want to be me.

(11:50):
But it also made me want to be a helpful part of society.
Like, it showed me where I could fit, where I could solve things, where I could speak
up a little bit more, where I needed to show up a little bit more, which conversations
I don't need to fan and flame.
Right?
Which conversations, like, it just, I think social media just gave me a view of one of

(12:15):
my generation, but also of, like, the pulse of the generation.
Right?
And I think lastly, I say it made me want to be me because I think that in modern times,
there is a social media personality.
Right?
And it's like, you got all of your ideas from tweets.

(12:36):
Like, you got all of your style and personality from what you think is the Instagram aesthetic
or thought process.
And I think that that is just so detrimental to, like, our overall development.
Because the thing that makes us beautiful, people are trying to dull it out now.

(12:57):
Right?
So, again, I'm not an anti-social media.
I think it's really good when you know who you are.
I think it's really good when you know what you want to learn.
I think it's incredible when you have a purpose and you want to connect with like-minded people.
I think, you know, it's just dope for those things.

(13:19):
I think it can be harmful when you are absent those things, you know?
Yeah, you said I had that moment too.
And it's like, okay, it's one of two people in this world, a contributor or a consumer.
And I am a consumer.
But I'm definitely, it's like, I'm not, I'm going to put more into this.

(13:43):
I'm always going to deposit, you know, more.
So that's a good point.
And I think that's something that we should bring up to everybody listening when it comes to the Internet.
And like when it comes to the young people that might be listening, right?
Like, you can either consume everything that's given to you.
And if you, we're old enough now to know that like everything that's given to you is not good.

(14:06):
It is not of value.
Right?
Being a contributor is knowing your purpose and what you want to add to this world.
So everybody can eat the best way.
Right?
And so everybody that is like trying to figure out their journey on like, like, or like their place in social media.

(14:28):
It's like, understand that you don't need to take in everything.
And you only need to put out what is what you absolutely feel like you're led to.
Yeah, because I didn't even start contributing until I got to that point.
Like, oh, I know what I want to do.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, that's when I'm like, OK, I'm going after this.
You know, but until then, I was just a student.

(14:50):
I was observing.
I'm like trying to figure out not to go too deep because it goes into another question.
But what's your perspective, Mars?
What was it like for you?
Yeah, Mr. Yeah, because you out here, bro.
You missed the popular right now.
Right.
Yeah.
The walking ticket.

(15:11):
Exactly.
It kind of actually is a testament to kind of how it influenced me or my journey,
because you see, I'm kind of late to the party, shall we say, but it's right on time.
I wouldn't say I guess my journey.
But I didn't have my purpose on what I wanted to contribute.
Right.
And I also didn't really care to contribute.
I was more so consuming.
I used social media as a youngster like I can say, I can say, I can say, basically,

(15:38):
like you said, aimlessly, just trying to, you know, maybe a thirst trap here, maybe.
What are they doing over there?
And kind of just a way of communicating just groupiness.
Right.
And so back in the thing that was popular was vines.
Right.
Remember vines.
And so it was just small clips of just random things.
Right.
And so that's kind of how I used it.

(16:00):
And my mom told me I couldn't have a my space.
So I quickly moved from that.
When I got on Instagram, like I said, it was just totally different.
I was more so the people that you said you like to gravitate towards more.
What are you behind the screen?
Right.
And so I guess I was more so a healer in that purpose that I didn't really know until now.

(16:24):
And now I can harness it to use it for social media.
But I was a DM guy.
You know what I mean?
I mean, I wanted to make people feel good differently outside of social media and people would gravitate towards that energy.
So it's actually pretty weird.
I mean, I never really use social media until recently like I do.

(16:45):
And I said, I guess I use social media to help others feel good about themselves.
And that's kind of really what I harness it for now.
But there's so much on there that take people left.
I just don't want to lose my specific message now that I have a purpose.
So if it was if it was up to me, I feel like I like you said, we can do so much better without it.

(17:10):
I don't really need it, but it does help me communicate and reach further audience benefit.
You know, and especially as ever evolving to you guys.
Cool.
If I see something like that's a tick tock challenge or something like that,
I want to see how I can switch it to actually what my message is, which is, you know, mental health advocacy and stuff.
So that in itself is a challenge to me and it helps me stay on my toes with my purpose.

(17:35):
So right now it's it's it's what I use to keep people happy.
So yeah, I would vote to keep social media.
They can adopt the same hours as Chick-fil-A Sundays off.
I was at close at nine or ten.
So I was going to take the Internet off.
We just don't need it. 24 hours a day.
Yeah, that's going to lead right into this next question.

(17:57):
We've had a couple stances on on social media.
Right. So what is your individual stance on if it's helped or hindered the culture as a whole?
I'll go first with my stance.
I'll say as a whole, social media has hindered our culture.

(18:20):
I say that because for as many people, you're not going to come into many rooms where everyone in the room knows their purpose and what they want to contribute to society.
For every one of us here, it's a lot of other people that are lost.
Right. It's a lot of other people like that at a certain point, like I was, that were looking externally for answers.

(18:47):
Only thing is, is that they continue to do so as they grow.
Right. Like I said, it's we are blessed to have found our purpose, to have acted on our purpose and to still do so and continue to do so.
But realize that in the grand scheme of things in the world of eight billion people.

(19:08):
We're rare. Right.
I think that social media with all the BS that's on there with all the satire, with all the street fights, with all the violence, with all the misinformation, leads a lot more people astray than it does leading them on the path that they need to be on.

(19:29):
There are some voices out there that are helping folks.
There are some folks we got we got a few in this room right now sitting with us. Right.
But it's so much more damage that can be caused out there from and folks consuming it that I feel like overall, it has hindered because it's, it's gotten people away from instead I feel relying on community, relying on on on maybe parents or family for guidance for wisdom.

(20:00):
Right. They're trying to search that for that on Instagram because this guy told them to open up three credit cards and he got a rose like they're looking for the message in the wrong places I feel and I just use that as an example but it's so many things that we can just lean on family that we can lean on community for that I feel like it's separating people from that to this one device this one app to these accounts right to look for that, and I feel like that's where the hindrance came from I think there was a separation.

(20:29):
There was a separation and in community, although social media, there is places where community is being built to so it's very, it's very double sided I'll say but from my stance where I stand from, it's caused more hindrance so that's that's my stance and my point on why I feel that way but I would love to get your points because I know at least one or two of y'all are for it.

(20:54):
So, yeah, as you were talking I'm like, let him finish.
Yeah, I heard you trying to interrupt a couple times I was not because I was like, ignore your ignore.
I'm reporting y'all. Okay, so I can't understand why you're absolutely saying this is a hindrance to us right, I agree.
There is absolutely

(21:18):
a downfall to socials.
There is a downfall to everything in this world.
I don't think anything created.
I don't think anything created is by chance.
Everything has a negative component to it.
And because this is something that's so new.

(21:42):
Like it just said in this article, that was the early 2000s. Right.
That's how we should be approaching this, how we should
be using this is still developing.
Like, and if you like notice, even when it comes to porn right like porn dominates a lot of the internet, a lot of social platforms.

(22:07):
Right. And now there are laws that say like in order for you to get on those websites in certain states, you have to like, essentially like you have to give consent and register and do all these things it's not it's not.
So I'm saying that to say like, y'all get on my nerves.
You know, this is definitely a boy's podcast like now.

(22:31):
But the point that I'm trying to make is, y'all get on my nerves, is that there, there's going to be hindrance to everything there's going to.
And it's there and they're going to be bad. There's going to be bad to everything.
Can we like shift that right. And so I guess my stance is not so much of like not in support of the internet or supporting the internet but I guess more so optimistic perspective of something like this is a tool that has the potential to really change the way that we

(23:06):
see things and receive things and receive information, but good bound like everything boundaries on it is what is what we really need because the way that I can Google something.
I'm not, I'm not my, my 2024 brain is not going to the library to get an encyclopedia.

(23:28):
I'm just Google it.
And so like the internet. Yes, social media, like, and I guess clarification moment, are we saying that, are you asking specifically about social media, like like the tick tock the Instagram the Twitter is it a hindrance.
No, no, no, I still I think. No, I'm still keeping my same stance like I love being able to like chat with my friends real quick, or like see how can I, how can I, how can I support you right so again boundaries boundaries, like, what are the boundaries on this space

(24:05):
but like like what I would speak like when we speak about how we navigate social media.
I don't know if she's speaking on before didn't set boundaries. Yeah, in her own personal life in her own like in the story. You can say a hinder and stuff bro. That's wild to me, it is like the fact that we're able to learn so fast.

(24:36):
I discount that that fact that I'm able to download you can say you can learn from.
That's powerful. Brand stance is powerful.

(25:09):
That's a good point or collectively for black people's advancement, or collectively for women to be able to not have their bodies control right we we haven't agreed on a collective purpose for social media, but we do have a collective understanding.
We don't want to live in this world without each other. We don't want to live in a world where there are no ideas exchanged, where there's no funny things said, where there's no reflective moments where there's no spirituality being exchanged we don't want to live in that

(25:40):
place. And I think that I think that it's not a Hendrix just because of that, right, because some people need it for entertainment I know the people who, you know, pass jokes and memes, and that helps them get through a job they may not love.
Right. And I think that that is important, and that is valuable, because not everybody is going to have the privilege of loving what they do, but that does not mean that their job doesn't serve a greater good.

(26:11):
Right, so even the people are doing stuff that they hate, I need them to be able to get through it in a way that benefits us. Right. When I was in the military I did not love the job.
I didn't term it at a standard. Right, that would what keep my family home would would would allow a future or some different things you get what I'm saying. So I don't call it a Hendrix for that.
I also, on the other side, I am a glass half full type of person.

(26:38):
I want to see the benefits of a thing. And just because I saw people misusing a spoon, I wouldn't say it was a valuable utensil. Right, and I see social media similarly. Right, people have a tool that is vast, that is dynamic, that moves at the speed of light that crosses international boundaries
that weaves in between age groups and all types of dynamics. And some people just don't understand the full power of that tool. Yeah. So seeing it being misused. I, I try to deal with it the same way I'll interact with a sick person, which is without anger, with this with patience, with this with understanding.

(27:15):
I'm not trying to be a drop. So you sick. No, not just but I'm saying like, I do think there's a certain element of sickness that is attracted to people's despair that is attracted to hate trains that is attracted to just ganging up on people because you don't like how they look,
you don't enjoy their features, or they may have done something that your friend didn't like. Right. And then now that there's this year's worth of attacks. I don't agree with those yieldings right but I don't agree with those in any setting, not just on social media.

(27:52):
I, I do see some harmful aspects and they are very hard to ignore so I'm there with you on the ideas that could be exchanged for our greater good.
I do think that we are maybe underestimating the value of that, but also just like over calculating the time we have to deal with and fix certain things.

(28:24):
I think that some of the urgency I hear you express is important and should be encouraged. Right, but it's also like, you know, I like to ask you why you think it took Moses 40 years to lead the people.
Right. It's probably because you have to go back and convince some people to keep walking. Right. It's probably had he had to go back and remind some people what they were leaving and where they were going to.

(28:48):
Right. I think that sometimes wilderness is hard to navigate and that lends to your point. This is still such a new technology. We are still like you interacted at it when you were a teen I interacted with it when I was in my early 20s.
Some people interacted with it when they were in their 30s some people like I was a guy in my class. He was born in 2002 he interacted with it like when he was like eight.

(29:11):
So, yes, can I talk about all the things I dislike seeing on social media sure but I would just be talking about TV. I would just be talking about certain aspects of video games on a regular.
Right. Because I don't, you know, like I see how GTA can consume people's time but I don't get the interest in just robbing people all the time.

(29:32):
I'm from a neighborhood that that that's not fun to me. Yeah. I'm saying so I just I just think that us as a generation we're going to have to ask ourselves some very specific questions about where we want to be on the other side of all this.
Yeah.

(29:53):
And go ahead.
You didn't ask a question. Oh, so, before I say ask the question is my stance comes then that urgency comes from.
We're 20 years in now, early 2000s.
2024.
This is an extremely powerful tool can be used for good, bad, neutral, whatever. My sense of urgency comes from the fact that I feel one, the trauma that black people as a whole, and just immigrants in this country as a whole faced.

(30:31):
Right.
It has been passed down generation through generation. It's something that still not been healed yet right.
Social media, we live in in, we live in an information surplus as well.
But reading comprehension, writing comprehension is going down in a lot of areas in this country. Right, and you can pull up the statistics to to see it. So it's just like, it's not being used for what it can truly be used that's where I have a problem with the content

(31:10):
creators, that's where I have a problem with just it as a whole and maybe it's because I have kids and that was the question like,
do you feel that the perspective changes when you have a little one because the shit I see I'm like boy he ain't not seeing this. Right. So it's like, my urgency comes from the fact that nigga we not going to live forever, bro.

(31:35):
We're not.
So, when is it going to be time where we're as a collective we're like look, this is a powerful as tool.
Black people are scheduled to have a net worth of $0 by 2050 it's probably going to happen before that.
When are we going to use these tools for our benefit.

(31:59):
When are we going to use these tools to create the communities that we've been longing for.
Like, what are we doing. You know what I'm saying so that that's where it comes from.
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(33:19):
These are powerful questions.
But there's a lot of nuance that goes into that. Yeah, I don't believe that black people just wake up.
How can we underperform.
Yeah, I know this is like we wake up thinking.

(33:40):
Not specifically like that but I agree with you. So, get close to your mic.
Let me let me say it this way. All right, so I'm on I'm on the, I'm not on the fence but I'm on the same side as you as how it hinders us right with everything through your life's journey you should come up with the pros and cons.
Right. You said something obviously that a lot of people won't get a lot of people will call cocky or whatever. We're rare.

(34:05):
Even in the black community we're rare. Right. Men community we're rare. We're thinking about our journeys we're thinking about how do we evolve. How do we help humanity.
Right. And that's why we stand out that's why we're here today.
Unfortunately, there's not too many like us, because of that rare kind. And so why I'm on this side and when I'm saying I've been the differ is because when do we ask these questions I've been asked.

(34:30):
Anytime I pose questions like that to people they're like well that's just the way it is.
Well when is it, when does it stop being the way it is, you have to ask these questions and then you have to act on these questions right.
So like I said once again, with anything you should have a pros and cons list. When you have more cons on that list and pros.
Right. And so if you want to talk about social media is influence or hindrance on black men as a whole.

(35:02):
Here's what I'll say. This is my three ideas is that there's focused on the emasculation of black men.
Right. They're going to portray a culture of disrespect sex and death on our black men and our culture as a whole.
And they have success. And very successfully it's subconscious now.
And then one of the pros is it poses opportunities. Right.

(35:26):
And that's one of the biggest pros and that's what we continuously say to be on the side of oh it helps you know social media is a good thing for us.
You know I mean outreach and reach in that way but I feel like we're at a point as a culture where outreach is not important anymore.
We have to find you know technically that is outreach but you find the rare people you start leading right.

(35:50):
You start creating again your green woods and all these other places that got sunk in or torn down.
Right. And it's not so much anymore about opportunities. We're so much worried about these opportunities.
What about the opportunity to come together and not be a zero work network. Right.
And so when I say it's a hindrance you said this earlier we can live without it. We really can't.

(36:13):
And as you're saying yes this stuff is new. Right. But all your statistics point towards cons.
And I've done these research because of him when I was in school for that's all that I've done research.
You know me. I'll get the statistics. But I've done plenty and it's on.
We could do episode two when you got the other one. OK. I hear what you're saying. I'm going to let you know.

(36:35):
I'm not saying that it poses opportunities. Right. We can keep saying that all day. Right.
But what opportunities. And you one thing that stuck out to me was you said we don't all have a collective goal.
I was like damn I'm a spin. Yeah for real. We don't. But but guess who does.
The people that own Instagram the people that own Facebook the people that own the social media platforms.

(36:58):
They have a collective goal and that's what they're showing us. Right.
And then that's what they're able to successfully give to us. Back to what my opinion of what's going on.
The emasculation of black men portraying sex death and stupidity upon you know just whatever gets you to consume their product.
And that day right. Whatever whoever is endorsing them or sponsoring them more for their Super Bowl commercial.

(37:22):
You know so doing the same thing to expect different results is insanity and insanity is exactly what you said.
How can I underperform today. And that's what we're doing continuously.
Yeah. You know I mean I feel like the only I got you.
But the only way to change that is to stop saying this is how it is or there's opportunity.

(37:44):
But the opportunity is going to only keep going where that collective goal is is continuously gathering mindless people.
I say if that makes sense I hope I kind of know made sense. I want to hear it.
And then I'll jump in. You know I stress me out. I know I'm supposed to go ahead and join the ball game brother.

(38:09):
So I see what you say. I see what you say. But it's kind of like OK I get dropped off on this island.
And it's like OK I stumble across a stream of water but I don't know how to swim.
You know what I mean. Do I stay away from it because I might drown or do I just like take the time that I need.

(38:31):
That's that's just an analogy that I want to bring into that. And that's kind of how I see it.
Anything revolutionary like the Internet. Anything that we've read about anything that we've experienced.
It takes time to tailor. How much. But also also also like that's why these types of conversations are important right.

(38:59):
Because we're 20 years into something that is revolutionary right.
And we're like OK we do see the hindrance of it. But the pro is like we're going to use this to our benefit.
And so it's like I see what you're saying but we're also on Beyonce's Internet promoting this.
But like you just said though it's somebody else's right. It's somebody else's.

(39:22):
And so it's somebody else's product. So so I get what you say. I get what you say.
Also to your point Mars like it has it has done. It's done a terrible job of portraying us and telling our stories.
It does it does not reach which we retweet and then continue help you know pass in the.

(39:45):
I think we're conflating some ideas since the nineteen hundreds that white men portraying us in blackface and doing caricatures of how we behave and what we find funny and our voices and our sling.
Yeah we are depending on an American system to portray us accurately. I think that's a false premise. Yeah right.

(40:10):
This country has never been invested in your honorable representation or in your honorable presentation right.
It's just not of interest. So to act like we need social media to model something that Fox CNN B.T. MTV every network that's ever existed could not do.

(40:36):
I think it's it's misleading right. Now we're saying how long do we wait. How many.
Guys let's not be naive any issue that is honorable or important to you. There is somebody on social media fighting right now.
Ten people let's not be naive in the sense that is because it's not the popular thing that it's not happening.

(41:01):
I think that that would make us trendy in our thoughts. Yeah right.
I also believe that so they of course the miracles talks about the power to mine right. The mind is so powerful you can only misuse its power but you can never diminish it right.
Social media we are just misusing it right. But I think that misuse causes us to diminish what it really is you know.

(41:25):
And I don't think that we should be diminishing what it is just because we've seen people misuse it right.
And when we just really talk about our representations of us and all that things it's like Mother Teresa says if you really want to change the world go home and love your family.
So this idea that there needs to be this critical mass of everybody saying boom we saw it we guess what is still going to be some people who are pretending.

(41:53):
It's still going to be some people who are just doing it because it's trendy. There's still going to be some homes left unchanged.
So until we we really accept that social media is not the the leader or the safeguard it's neither one of them right.
It's not the thing that we all should be focusing on the thing that we all should be focusing excuse me the thing that probably is more important is the ideas that are proliferated there right.

(42:25):
So you have this in your heart and you feel like it's safe here on social media.
Why I've never heard you say that in person. You know you believe these things. Why. Right. And I think that there is a personality that's developing on the Internet that people use to escape maybe their real life or some some form of that.

(42:47):
Right. But I don't I don't I don't see social media as the thing that's breaking us down.
I look back historically on all the black men I've ever tried to look up on TV and probably 90 percent of them were had to be comedians first.
How many famous black men you know weren't comedians first they broke through on the Hollywood screen. Yeah. Why we always gotta be funny.

(43:12):
Why we can't be brilliantly intelligent you know why we just gotta be fun you're athletic. That's it. Right.
When I hear you talk about us being rare I respect W.E. Du Bois but I'm not a member of the talented team.
I think specialness and of course the miracles talks about this specialness is the root of all bad decisions.
This idea that I'm special I'm set apart. See the only thing that's happening right now is the belief that we're separate.

(43:39):
That's what's keeping us all from love. That's what's keeping us all from the magnitude and glory that God designed for us to experience in heaven on earth.
Right. But this belief that I'm special I'm rare I'm different I'm set apart. Right.
That requires you to think less of people that you're here to serve. I can't do it. I'm not special.

(44:01):
I had the opportunity to make a decision when I did. Now I get a lifelong of service towards trying to spark other people recognizing their opportunity to do the same.
I could do it on social media. I could do it by showing up in person. I could do it through my family. I could do it through a lot of ways.
But I am not going to depend on social media to spark that because I just think that I just think that that would be naive.

(44:26):
You know just much like I would I would depend on the seat of the presidency to change the tone of the country.
It's a little naive. It's not it's not it's not going to happen. How many people you know think that way.
But before that it's not about how many that think that way in order for critical mass to be reached.
You don't need every person just the right people. You get I'm saying.

(44:49):
And you you so I've traveled from where was from Toronto to Johannesburg to California to New York.
And I've seen the right people in all types of environments. I do know that maybe they don't have all the resources.
I do know that you know we talk about us uplifting it's like all right we'll start another Greenwood right.
But even the Greenwood that Killer Mike and them started is founded by white investment banks.

(45:15):
The Friedman Bank that was you know that that that got robbed and that we started as be a white investment banks.
That's why they were then able to take it and bankrupt it right when it started exceeding their stuff.
They didn't they didn't they didn't reward us by giving us lower interest.
You know so this idea that oh why are we not thinking about the greatness.

(45:39):
I think people are but to act like life isn't really happening.
Like there's that's so there are people who literally go to school for 20 years to study how to keep us in this predicament right to keep us talking about the same things to keep us concerned with the same things.
And that's why I bring up those questions to package the new products right.

(46:01):
You bring up those questions there's there's one main thing that we all as leaders have to have to hold on to which is you cannot antagonize and influence at the same time.
Yeah but when I say rare it's not to diminish anybody that we're serving.
Take a look around at your family's how many of those men are truly living their purpose.

(46:24):
It's not many in mind. So when I say rare it's it's it's not to say I think of myself more than them is to say as I stated before we're blessed to have gone through the journey to find ourselves in this predicament where we found our purpose through our life's journey.
Many didn't get the opportunity.
We have people that we have people that didn't make it to 21 25 30.

(46:45):
They didn't get the opportunity. So we are blessed. And that's where I say rare because through life circumstances through upbringings through traumas through death.
A lot of people don't get that chance. So I say that to uplift us not to diminish others but to say that it is great to be in this room in this space of people that know exactly what the fuck they want to contribute to society.

(47:09):
Whatever that is what is the thing that we have that the people in that generation didn't social media.
A lot more things a lot more freedom I would say a lot.
We're able to see lifestyles we're able to like you can just be in the middle of your Virginia day and then you can tap into a California lifestyle instantly.
You can tap into a New York lifestyle. Your awareness has to be shifted as a result of seeing this.

(47:34):
You know and I think that the idea that like you know other generations just didn't want to say.
Really you know I don't believe on my ancestors wildest dreams.
I believe on what they fought for and believe they what they sacrifice for right.
But they were their wildest dreams are my dreams.

(47:56):
You know I think that they were dreaming for opportunity for me to to be able to exercise some freedom and some autonomy right.
But I think that in me doing that one it needs to honor the past but also it needs to just make way for the future.
So I don't want to believe social media is going to be a part of their future right.
So it's like how can I get you to see it in a way that is constructive.

(48:20):
How can I get us to use it in a way it's constructive.
But also how can I suggest it like I just suggested social media have closing hours.
Yeah right. I do have ideas for for how too much of something can be negative right.
But I also I don't.
Used to be too so when I was growing I would go up in a neighborhood called Camelot.

(48:42):
We had a store. It was cool right. That's cool right.
So but we used to say in the summer like you can go all summer without leaving Camelot.
You got everything you need right. You got a family parties. You got a store.
You got everything the church next door. That's my family's church.
You know at this store you get hot sauce white Air Force t-shirt like you get fresh as hell.
Right. So that was so small minded of us right.

(49:05):
It was the world we knew right. I think a lot of times social media people are just only bring even in art.
Even if they are contributing they're only bringing the world they know right.
But something I learned as a writer is that we write to discover the things we don't know.
We write to discover the things we still need to learn right.
And I wish people use social media for that. That's yeah.

(49:27):
That's cover more to evolve more to bloom right.
And I think people now are using social media like I'm angry.
Let me go on social media and look for another reason to be angry right.
Now let me find a quote that excuses my anger and completely blames it on everybody else who makes me mad.
And then now let me find something else right. And it's just a.
Leave a negative comment here on something that I don't like.

(49:50):
Can I ask you a question. Yeah go ahead.
Especially everyone is here. Everyone here is a father except for me.
The two of you have black men as sons.
And so I definitely want to ask you this too Mars.
What are you telling and what will you tell your young people when it comes to social.

(50:11):
And not only social media right but just the Internet right.
Like what. That's a good fucking like Rob.
What are what do you because you have a large presence online.
What do you what what what does that conversation look like in his development.
What does that look like in the development of just like what do you say to that.

(50:34):
Because this is a part of our life now.
And what do you say to the people that have young people that are looking up to them and young black men that are in this new age of the Internet and social media.
What advice do you give to them.
For my side I try to make it less about social media more about.

(50:59):
Who his identity and who he understands himself to be.
Yeah I think that in the matrix more fierce he says.
So my response to him like not everybody believes what you do right.
And he's like my beliefs don't require them to write.
And I just thought it was an eloquent response because I need my son to know that your beliefs are yours.

(51:24):
You may try to share the one in there but you don't need everybody to confirm them.
You don't need to fit in on the Internet to be loved.
Right. And I think that when you talk about the vastness of that conversation it's not a one time thing.
It is something that's a part of them.
I did not have social media in high school.

(51:46):
Right. So when I left school unless you lived out my neighborhood it was over with.
You weren't in my world.
Right. Now these people can exist in your room all day.
3 a.m. 2 a.m. It's a different existence.
So the goal for me with my son is one to hear him out.
But two to monitor his consumption.
Right. One what are you watching.

(52:08):
Why are you interested in that.
What how do you feel when you when you consume that.
Right. What does it make you think about afterwards.
Right. Did you know I try to present like scientific facts and stuff.
Right. So did you know that if you had a game and you were to stay off of social media.
For that hour before game time that you would be calmer that you you you would respond quicker.

(52:31):
That your cognitive ability would be more polished all of these things.
So my goal is to just try to start up things that we can talk about when it comes to social media.
My goal is to trust my parenting and know that my kid is not going to operate outside himself in a way that's detrimental.
Right. Should he do that.

(52:55):
My goal is to be someone who.
Responds appropriately and not someone who responds with my own ideas and beliefs.
You know I do not know how his I think his generation is going to be bored with social media.
I think they really like YouTube more than anything else.

(53:16):
You know I don't think that they're going to love it and be fascinated with it in the same way that we are because they're not going to be the daily active users.
They be deleting post. Right.
They got a basketball season and delete every picture before track season.
So they just operate differently when it comes to that.
And then you know they really helped me understand that the Internet is like really fake.

(53:38):
You have a 14 year old with like four accounts.
Yeah. Yeah.
You got a backup for his backup for the backup for the Finster for the good of the year.
So it's just it's just so wide and range.
But I really think that it's a it's an ongoing conversation.
Yeah. As my son ages as things happen in the world as I see different things because he loves to talk.

(54:07):
Right. And I'm not on Tic Tac so I don't completely understand Tic Tac.
Right. But I just try not to overreact about any of this.
You know I feel like I am going to serve you to my last dying breath and you are going to be all right as a result of that.
And the mistakes you make I am trying to provide a cushion that builds up your resiliency.

(54:33):
Right. And outside of that I try not to make it such a thing partly because I am popular there.
Right. But also because I try.
So you asked me during the panel what was that air of privacy that I kept and why I didn't post certain amounts.
Right. It's because my son I don't want him to think that the just of all of this is because it's an Internet thing.

(54:57):
Well my son knows he knows it's like it's a real business.
There are really books moving. There's really things that you know I don't see my dad do seven things this week and then post it on social media.
So I can't just be about that. Right. Because the idea or his belief could be easy to misconstrue that is just about that.
Right. And there's a there's a purpose to how I move in reinforcing the fact that there is a lot more going on.

(55:23):
And that should just be a side aspect. Right.
So that's a long answer to say that I'm I'm still navigating the ongoing conversation.
He's 16. Right. Yeah. For me it's a bit different.
You have a 16 year old. I saw him pulling up for a three and a fast break.
But now mine is three. That was basketball talk. Yeah. Yeah.

(55:45):
So what the hell.
Yeah. Yeah. Speaking higher. No. So I would say my son is he's three he's turning four this year.
So my big thing is more so leading by example because he's learning to be human through me through his mother right right now.

(56:06):
So it's not so much talks about social media because he's not exposed. He doesn't know. Right.
So it's more so just leading by example. And what I what I mean by that is is whenever I'm around him being present putting my phone down being present making sure that when he speaks to me if I'm on my phone it goes down in my pocket somewhere.

(56:28):
Like but just not giving him half ass attention right being very fully present.
To your point. He is three. We do screen time. We limit it. It's 35. It can be it's 30 minutes to 45 on average a day 30 30 to 45 minutes on average a day of TV time.

(56:51):
Right. All educational. He reads books like a madman. He will go through English Spanish. It doesn't matter.
He will read books and we love that. And he had like we just try to instill a lot of playtime a lot of a lot of things that we just don't want him to just sit around and just be watching TV because I've had some family members that do that and they are very very heavily into social media into their phones.

(57:17):
Right. Because as you said it's like I don't want to misphrase your quote quote but it's like how they grew up and what they grew up knowing is essentially the traits that they're going to continue to carry into adulthood because what 90 something percent of what we do every day is what we did yesterday.
You know what I'm saying. So it's more so having him explore his creativity at this point this morning he had headphones on he was listening to a kid's audio book playing with Legos. Right. So it's like giving him some type of consumption in media but that's very educational beneficial for him so that when he is consuming media on social media.

(57:57):
He's looking for things that are educational that are beneficial more than he's just looking for entertainment.
You make me think of something in the sense that there is a certain element of mature use that's happening. Yeah. Because in 2005 like just for say you like you hang out you go to a party you might have a digital camera you go upload like 200 pictures.

(58:19):
Boy Facebook boy right. Just the whole the whole role the whole clip upload the whole role nowadays people maybe 10 pictures Max right. Seven. There's already a maturity in our usage that's happening.
There's a discipline with our generation. Yeah. Right. So I definitely think is going to come moving forward because if we were to tell them like what we just upload all 300 pictures just put the put the SD card in there.

(58:46):
Right. And then you just had like 20 albums of different weekends. Right. With a lot of pictures tag and it's like that would be ridiculous nowadays. So I do think there are some elements of maturity happening but much like like us and previous generations we probably overestimate our maturity.

(59:08):
That's what I would say. I would teach my daughter that's all just about to teach you what would you do. Yeah. Kind of how you said identity will alleviate all the other problems. Right. I like to think that if I if I teach her and well if I teach them I'm just getting used to having to know if I teach them how to be how does your second girl.

(59:30):
She's one now. Okay. I was just turned one so if I teach them how to live they can live without me. So if I'm gone tomorrow this is why I'm telling you this is why I'm teaching you this. So yeah I mean as a whole I can't really say that it is a hindrance because that's like you said it's a choice for that person for something to be a hindrance to them.

(59:53):
Right. However I just don't believe we have enough people with the proper like mindset to not allow it to be a hindrance and that's the only that's why I'm on that that stance and that's why kind of where the rareness comes from because the choice part.
And make that choice you know far a few in between nowadays. Yeah you know denying the reality that you see and experience. Yeah you know and I give credence to that. Yeah you know 100 percent. If you see a lack of you going to be inclined to believe that that's the majority.

(01:00:29):
You know and I see it mostly how people show up on their socials. Right. There's there's like a point in my manhood where I finally understood the difference between confidence and ego. Right. And it's like social media is the ultimate playground for those two things.
Right. And you see people who who who try to portray ego as confidence. It's just a it's just an interesting balance with those things you know.

(01:01:02):
And I only talk about our kids and how they should navigate I just think that that is something we should stay impressionable and multiple about you know because the way we see it just might not be how it really is.
I see you bro is brought to you by the Cannes Foundation. The Cannes Foundation is an arts nonprofit organization founded by artists for artists. The Cannes is dedicated to building sustainable careers for the creative class through artist development, arts education, and public art projects.

(01:01:39):
By creating a community, they empower artists, foster creativity, and contribute to the sustainable growth of the artistic ecosystem at large. To learn more about the Cannes Foundation visit their Instagram Contemporary Arts Network or their website at thecontemporaryartsnetwork.com
I was going to ask because this this goes right into this. How much do we play a factor into the state of the youth and the culture the people that come after us.

(01:02:12):
Undeniably we play a huge factor when we talk about the way social media is impacting youth. It's huge but to me it's that's why I say the youth are underserved because all they're getting is our fear and our complaints.
You know and they're getting bombarded with this and that is not a comprehensive way of looking at life. Right. It's not even a complete picture right it's a bullying, so to speak.

(01:02:37):
Right, because I think that's what they're experiencing. So when I think about like
today's 18 year old young man or young girl.
And they're looking at social media influences and they see the 50 year old man doing the same thing the 25 year old man is doing. I think that there is going to be some conflict.

(01:03:01):
Right. There's going to be some confusion. Right, but there also may be a complete turn towards apathy.
I'm not interested in any of it. It doesn't matter. Nothing's real. Right. And I think that's probably the worst in the sense that we get to, we get to influence, whether there is a hopeful generation or not.

(01:03:30):
We get to influence whether because right now if you ask young like it's very wide but if you ask young people about marriage they're like I don't forget that. I do my own thing. You know what I mean.
But is that from experience or is that from being bombarded with people's fears and people's unprocessed.

(01:03:51):
And their stories and their horror stories right now how many people are telling stories just to fit in. Right. Now how many people are exaggerating exaggerating their traumas to have the worst pain because you know we don't just want to be hurt.
We want to be the most hurt. Right. You ain't been hurt like me.
You know that. Now I went through this this this and this ever been the real you think you felt pain. Right. So it's like we want to outdo. And when I think about that, I think that that is completely irresponsible to the youth.

(01:04:22):
Yeah. Right.
Because way before social media we have flavor flavor was wilding out it was doing anything. Right. So I don't think social media makes people act like that.
I'm not sure. But I am aware of how the things I repeat will impact the young people following me.
Yeah. How the things that I give life to will impact the young people following me. I have to ask myself what were my motives. What were my true desires.

(01:04:51):
Where was I with my self esteem. I am confronted with a whole clash of thoughts that challenge my personal trust. Right.
We should not cast the world off as untrustworthy just because we have experiences with mistrust.
And when you do do that, you start to because I believe that our words are most powerful of our life. You start to create the life that you are going to live because you're talking about it. You're saying that I can't trust anybody.

(01:05:22):
So guess what? You will attract people who betray your confidence. You will attract people who who conflict with your beliefs. Right.
You're saying that I can't believe in everybody. Everybody just out here negative about you will attract people who complain to you. You will attract people who misuse your time. Right. And misuse your energy. You will be drained.
Right. And that's why I am just very conscious of this because when the Bible says it's a living word, it's not just this. These are living words. Right.

(01:05:51):
And we have the real time opportunity to change the real time opportunity to course correct. Right. And the one thing I promised my son nowadays is by beginning any social media conversations that I refuse to be a robot.
If we go every day this way tomorrow, we're going to just go this way. Right. And just figure it out. Yep. If we like I refuse to be a robot, you know, and I think that a lot of this programming the ease of convenience, it's turning us into.

(01:06:20):
Like autopilot in the worst way. Yeah. Autopilot in the worst way. You know, the biggest I guess in initiatives of 2020.
But I'm I don't know. It's like, you know, the the the people who are who have molded the people who have molded this society the longest.

(01:06:42):
Are they really invested in the foreign population? Nope. Right. Or do they need us to be entertainment focused?
Right. So that we can continue as we have. Right. Right.
Or or do we have the choice to see differently into the youth? Right. Because we we are aware of how we were seeded into some things we believe.

(01:07:13):
I don't know if you all were told, but when I heard Tupac say it and though it seems evident we're ready to see a black president at the same time, people in my family were saying you got two strikes against you.
You black and you a man. You know what I mean? So you need to exist in this world in a different way and all that.
So it's like these things have kind of been on us for a long time.

(01:07:35):
I don't know if social media is going to alleviate him more so than than than we are. Right.
But to kind of to kind of bring that point to a head.
Give me a moment. Oh, good. I can pick up, man.

(01:07:59):
We play to your point, a major role. I'm realizing it as a father seeing this young kid like he's looking up to me.
He I go to fix my shoe while we are in public. He's going to fix issue.
You know what I'm saying? I'm walking a certain way. He's going to walk the same way I'm walking like he's learning to be a human through me.

(01:08:23):
Right. To that point, I feel now with social media, I'm at a point right where I just want if I'm there, it's to contribute.
I'm literally not posting anything unless it's to contribute.

(01:08:46):
I feel it's a heavy responsibility because I do sit up sometimes and it's like what world would I, you know, at least envision for my son.
Right. And it's like if I can do anything in my power, you know, it's to leave things better off than what they were.
And so with I see you, bro. I think we can make a great impact because we've had youth.

(01:09:15):
We've had the next generation at our events. Twenty year old at our events. Right.
So I say that to say like it's on us and not and it may sound like a burden. It's really not.
It's a blessing to have this responsibility, this opportunity to influence the youth, to create community, to create environments and spaces for folks to be vulnerable, to reflect, to grow.

(01:09:47):
Right. And to continue pushing that forward. My disdain with social media is that there's not more of it.
Because like to Rob's point, you said that there there are people fighting the fight that we want to fight. Those numbers are just too few. Maybe for my liking.
Because I believe that my message will always be is we are way more powerful than they have led us to believe.

(01:10:11):
You know what I'm saying? And I feel like social media kind of takes away from that sometime in different ways.
But for those that know themselves, those that know their purpose can use it to drive the change that we want to see. Right.
So my disdain just comes from what I've been seeing for these years that I've been online. And it's really hasn't been much progression.

(01:10:39):
It's to the point where like sometimes I wonder what's the point. I keep it because I know that, like you said, the message travels further.
I can stand on top of of of an empty parking lot. Right. And just yell out, hey, come to I see you, bro.
On Saturday, who the fuck don't listen? We post that shit online is going to be heard. It's going to be received.

(01:11:03):
Right. So I think we have a great potential to help the youth and culture that come after us.
You know, it is a responsibility that we have to carry with us, you know, to ensure that we do it the right way and to the best of our ability.
But even social media aside, just being pillars in our families and our communities serving the right way is all going to lead towards positive change.

(01:11:32):
I said this quote before the show. Somebody said Frederick Douglass said this, if you want to Google it, go ahead.
But it said it's easier to raise strong children than to fix broken adults. Right.
We took on the challenge to help fix some broken adults, though, fellas. But that is in hopes that they pay it forward.

(01:11:54):
You know what I'm saying? But but it's in the hopes that they pay it forward.
Right. Because we're we're all flawed humans. We're just trying to get it right.
But all the traumas, everything we experienced, all the hurdles we had to overcome, we can help the next generation not have to go through the same things and kind of just take a few leaps.

(01:12:17):
Get ahead of us a bit quicker. Things that I learned at 25. My son going to learn at 12. You know what I'm saying?
Like all these things we have the ability to influence now that we're in this position and we have people that look to us.
We have people that we can lead and we have a purpose that we can follow.
So if you have your thought, love to hear it. If not, if you need a little more time, would love to get your perspective on it, too.

(01:12:44):
I'm just I'm just going to add a little bit of that. Yeah, obviously, we have a huge. What's a burden, but a huge part in influencing the youth.
No matter if we want to intentionally or not as men, I believe, you know, like you said, you're looking at Tino, but that's your son.
You know, and when we talk about kids, they're going to naturally look up to us because they are offspring.

(01:13:08):
We're going to look up to them every day of the time. Right. And that's we're providing for them. So they're going to look up to us.
But no matter where you are, youth is looking at you.
You can be at the stove and youth is looking at you, watching you, no matter if they have a father figure at home or not.
A lot of our young men and young women's influencers are, you know, sexy, red and and watch it little baby. Hey, it don't matter.

(01:13:38):
I wouldn't want my daughter's, you know, influencer to be sexy, red. So you see I'm saying so.
I mean, there are different influencers out there. It don't matter. We're all we know how I feel about it.
That's OK. You know, whatever, breathe. You need to let's not let's not do that this pocket.
But we have to have the right influencers.
So since people really don't understand that their influencer, no matter if they're doing it intentionally or not.

(01:14:04):
And with so many ill intentional influencers out there, it's just, you know, we definitely have a huge I wouldn't say burden, but it's definitely happening regardless.
Yeah. When you said ill intention, influencers, it kind of made me think about.
It's kind of been a theme throughout that contributor consumer conversation.

(01:14:27):
And the reason why I just said because. Like, what a beautiful opportunity to get back and not just sit back and say all of this is supposed to serve me right.
You know, all of this is supposed to entertain me, serve me. It's supposed to be. What a beautiful thing to just snap out of that.
Get over yourself and give and contribute. Right. To me, that is an opportunity.

(01:14:54):
That's not a burden. That is not something heavy. That is an opportunity to like I said, I may not change the world, but I will spark the brain.
I will spark the mind. And what an opportunity is to spark minds. Yeah. Just by the way you live and just by the way you love it.
It's a blessing. Just by the things you choose to represent. Like what an opportunity that is.

(01:15:16):
And I think when the youth is like. That that should be the only mindset. Right.
And I think that when I talk about the ease of convenience, we've been we've been so drunk with convenience that we have this idea that if it don't serve me, I don't have nothing for it.
God did not say everything on his earth is supposed to serve you. Right. But your idea of what's serving you could be warped.

(01:15:43):
You could not think difficulty is serving you. You cannot think that having the pain of being this annoyed by certain content is serving you. But it is because it's making me want to put something that's more contribute.
Yeah. Yeah. You can choose to just be completely angry about it or you can choose to be an active responded to it. Right.

(01:16:05):
And ultimately it's presenting you with a choice. They say anything that we're annoyed by our pain by is a sign of where we're supposed to be served.
It's a sign of how we're supposed to be impacted. Right. And that's why I brought up the context of we can't antagonize and influence at the same time because at the end of day we all are trying to influence people to live a better life.
Right. Regardless of whether we're annoyed by them or not. You know. So when I think about this opportunity with the youth when I think about the opportunity with with just our generation as a whole I think if we can reframe it in a way that is not putting these things on my back.

(01:16:42):
You know I'm carrying it right. That's not really what it is sparking ideas. You get an opportunity to spark an idea. Right.
And at the end of your days you get a chance to have a conversation with God and he gets to say how did you use the gifts I gave you.
How did you treat the people I assigned in your life. Did you abandon them. Did you just try to find your own people. Right. Or did you love the people I assigned you to love.

(01:17:09):
Did you serve the people assigned to. Right. And I think that these questions are important because they can't be answered on social media.
Yeah. Right. Yeah. For sure. That's been a. That's been a present in a like an active lesson that I'm learning what it looks what what that looks like.

(01:17:34):
So your question was like what's our influence on the youth. Right. I just had a niece. I don't have kids but a lot of my life have been called to serve young people right. And I've always wondered why.
Well you are like amazing around. Yeah I love it. It is crazy. So my niece I just had my first niece. She's five months today before she got before or yesterday before she got here I created this whole list of things that I needed to be for her by the time she got here.

(01:18:07):
None of those things happen.
So I had a choice I said OK well.
You're not none of those things. And so there was a shame there was a guilt there right. And there was something that clicked into me and said the best thing that you can do for her is to be present.
And to show her how you live and how you love.

(01:18:32):
And that is going to be the best thing that you can do for her because essentially what you're doing on the other end the other option is to force upon this facade of a blueprint.
I went through that almost before I had my son and the Internet will tell us that we have to do this in this certain amount of time.
It has to look this way. You have to like be healed from these things in order to be acceptable or be considered black excellence.

(01:19:02):
And it's like I can't do that to her and I can't do that to myself. And I can't do that to the people around me.
And so it's been a consistent challenge every day to say the best thing that you can do to have influence on not only the young people around you but the adults around you is to show them how you live and how you love.

(01:19:27):
And so my challenge every day in in that has been to be like respond how you really want to respond don't respond from a place of how the culture teaches you to respond or don't love from a reactive or a transactional place like be human and present like tell people that you're sad.

(01:19:55):
Let people know that you hurt them. If you want to talk to them call them. If you're not your best self but you still want to be around still show up and be present.
You know, and so that that that is what my hope is that's what my purpose is right now because I think purpose changes as you as you change and as you evolve.

(01:20:21):
And so, well, would you would you think like purpose change or how you serve that purpose changes.
Can change to.
I just wanted to clarify that.
I think that my purpose has changed based off of this, the season that I'm in, and we have of where I've gone through because there's an overarching purpose right for me, but there are different things that I'm like working towards in that season.

(01:20:51):
So, the overall purpose for me right like is to is to live into love and to be present and to know God.
That's my purpose. Does that change and the expression of that change every season. Yes.

(01:21:15):
That's fair. Yeah. Can I ask you guys this love this question to wrap us up.
What advice, with all of y'all.
Because, like you said this is a kind of the conversation has now turned into.
I mean we talked about the.
The media's impact on culture and youth we now talk about have the conversation about identity and purpose.

(01:21:43):
What advice would you give to the listeners to people that are listening.
When it comes to they may be struggling with their place and culture, and what their thing maybe I talked to a lot of people and they're like, I don't know what my thing is, and they often is oftentimes I challenge people especially being someone who is public right.

(01:22:04):
I often kind of discourage. I'm like yo your expression doesn't have to be seen. Right.
So it's like look at them getting rid of the competition.
Because if you know me it is, it is no competition.
No, no, no, no, no. So like what advice would you give to people that like are having a hard time, like just finding their place in culture, or their place of impact, especially when we live in a culture that says, if it ain't seen.

(01:22:38):
It ain't valuable.
I would say as somebody that absolutely does not care to be seen.
But we'll probably end up in that place somewhere another clearly because we are on camera, but I will say it's, it's, at one point I did care about being seen because I wanted to be seen.
Right. I wanted to feel like I was seen. Right. But that came from feeling lonely right now.

(01:23:01):
Not feeling like I had community or just people around me at that time.
But what I will say for advice for those having trouble, you know just figuring out their place in culture and society and just even if they're lost in terms of identifying their purpose or their own identity is just, if you're having trouble, and you're currently on social media

(01:23:24):
or consuming social media or life through other people's eyes or experiences. Take a step away from it for a second, even if it's on a daily basis like give more time to yourself than you are to social media in this very time, right.
Give more time to really discover who you are right ask yourself certain questions in terms of like, what am I good at? What are what are my skills? What do I believe my gifts are? Once you uncover what you feel your gifts are it starts to lead you down this path of to, oh, I like to do this.

(01:24:01):
Like, this this is easy for me. Right. It's easy for me to get a present, tell a story and connect with people. Why? Because that's a that's a gift. I've been blessed with that right. You've been blessed with the gift to write and relate to people.
Right. In a way that you've been doing it for 10 years. That's not easy bro. You've been doing 10 plus. Right. It's not easy to do that. Right.

(01:24:27):
It's just we all have gifts. Brenton, you have this is energy man that spreads throughout an entire room. Thank you bro. It's crazy. Mars you you give you give so much sometimes I wonder if you're given enough to yourself like and that in itself is a gift.
You know what I'm saying because sometimes you're probably running on fumes still given right. But it's just I say that to say it's like really take time away from viewing life through other people's lenses and figure out what you would like your life to look like through your right through your advice.

(01:25:05):
Right. And that's the advice I would give.
That's definitely something I wish I would have heard. I had to figure that out. But yeah. Can I jump in? Oh yeah. Let's do it. Yeah.
I took this course in New York a few years ago. It's called momentum education.

(01:25:27):
It was a great course but there was this big banner in the course and the what it said on the banner was what are you pretending not to know. And I thought that that was such a foundational question.
So the person who does not feel like they're fitting in the person who does not have that sense of belonging.

(01:25:48):
What are you pretending not to know about yourself.
Are you pretending to know that you know you're not in the right environment.
Are you pretending to that you don't need love. Are you pretending that you don't know your real gifts and your real purpose.
Are you pretending to like stuff that you don't even like but it's popular.

(01:26:12):
Right. What are you pretending not to know. And I think a lot of people know like God is never silent our intuition that that part of us that inner voice that speaking.
Right. And we could mute it. We can decide not to listen but it's going to be talking if we tap into it. Right. And I think a lot of people are pretending not to know themselves.

(01:26:34):
They're just trying to for fear of that that true that ugly truth. It's easier to be someone else in this modern society. It's easier to pretend.
Right. There's it's because you can detach from people's reactions.
Right. I think that the the challenge in this is for people to take full ownership of the things that they know deep down in their spirit.

(01:27:01):
The things that they know.
God put there. Right. And it's hard for me to separate spirituality from any of this context because it's like I believe we're just spiritual beings on a human path.
Right. So I think that you know if people can just want to say stop back like they don't know. Right. And many will say well I don't know. I don't know my purpose.

(01:27:25):
And I'll ask them what are the things that pain you most about the world.
What points was the last thing to happen in society that really angered you.
Was it a kid being murdered.
Was it a woman being raped.
Was it the banks being bailed out. Right. Was it a dishonest politician.

(01:27:47):
Is it seeing a family at the park and feeling an absence. What is it.
You know because I do think that there are real life things that we can explore that can help us all.
So anybody who I guess it is that sense of belonging. It really is a perspective issue. Right.

(01:28:10):
And most times you just have to ask people like why do you want to be separate so bad.
Right. Like why. Why do you need that so bad. And what.
What is keeping you safe as a result of keeping these ideas.
You know and what can we do to help you release some of these things that you've probably been holding on to for a long time.

(01:28:34):
That's probably the advice I give to somebody who said that they they had some trouble in the belonging aspects. Right.
And then along with the tangible things that you said. Right.
Which is zoning out not being so consumed with that. Of course I would suggest that.
But you know I think that people are way more brilliant than they reveal. Right.

(01:29:01):
And my goal is how can I get you to be comfortable revealing that.
How can I get you to be comfortable revealing that authenticity.
Regardless of my response regardless of how I react to it. Right.
How can I get you to trust that independent of reactions independent of reception. Right.

(01:29:23):
Because what we need is for people to do that weird dance long enough for everybody to break out doing the same way.
You know we need people to do that. And that's just really my goal while I'm loving while I'm interacting.
But I'm really just trying to reinforce that with people is the idea that you always have to be found is a myth.

(01:29:44):
Enjoy the wilderness. Wander a little bit. Right.
Go explore some paths that are not familiar to you.
You are going to find out that you were equipped with things that you have not yet tapped into.
That's good. But they were with you the whole time.
So I just want to emphasize that's good. That's good.
My advice basically what you said in that show is to just live you know live through experience live through heartache live through happiness live through just just live.

(01:30:16):
You know I mean and then those the answers to the questions that you that you mentioned how you bring it out of people will just start.
Those answers will be there because you live through you know happiness and heartache so that you already know the answers to those questions that you're asking.
I've been seeing people all my life. I wanted to be heard. I've never had a problem being seen.

(01:30:38):
It's really weird right. People can be seen but not heard and some people could be heard but not seen.
All my life I wanted to be heard. Yeah it's really weird right.
I was going to ask you that's a conversation I've always been seen you know I just never felt heard.
So I had to realize that that's what I wanted to be was heard.

(01:30:59):
I don't know how some of my purpose you know what you want the most in life kind of can help with what your purpose is and just stop chasing purpose.
I can try to tell people this all the time. Stop chasing purpose. It'll find like it'll uncover itself in your journey.
Just live and then those specific questions that everybody's you know aha question is different.

(01:31:22):
Some of those questions you had and they pose to people are super real like what pains you. What keeps you up at night.
Yeah. Combating that in some way is probably your purpose.
I heard somebody say if everyone likes you then you're not being your authentic self.
Yeah. Well and I'm like damn.

(01:31:46):
Because if I really was being my real self in a lot of spaces nobody would really fuck with you.
You know what I'm saying. Not in a bad way right.
But everyone probably wouldn't be a great and I think that's OK.
I think that's OK right. That's all right.
But yo shout out shout out to you all and shout out to I see you bro a space dedicated to us not having to know the answers all the time.

(01:32:14):
But a space also dedicated to us just providing a space for us to be dynamic and for us to discuss all of the things right.
Shout out to people like Rob and Yuri and Mars who create space for us to not have to know everything right.

(01:32:35):
And we always say before I move on we we don't want to.
These are not the answers. These are just open conversations that allow you to process in your perspective.
You know we're just all sharing our journeys with you. So shout out to everybody that's listening.
This is it was fire right. It was fire. It was absolutely fire.

(01:32:59):
Yeah Rob let them know where they can follow you purchase a book just.
I am a Rob Hills senior or B.H.I.S.R. on all platforms.
The quickest spot to see all my books would be Barnes and Noble or Amazon.
I own them so just support me wherever you can. I will be fine.

(01:33:21):
And I appreciate the love shout out to I see bro each of you the team behind the scenes who is not on camera.
I know you guys welcome here is very smooth but the purpose behind this right is just very clear.
So I appreciate you all when I accepted the invite.
It's very easy. Naturally the event made a great impression but I understand the necessity of the work.

(01:33:44):
And I would hate for me to not accept the invite and us to miss an opportunity to show how effective what you all do is.
Also the synergy that we have right because I think we all can leave here a little bit more hopeful.
I can't see you guys and ignore the fact that it's men doing it.
You know so I respect that I appreciate that and you guys give me many versions which are this is one thing if you really get to know me I appreciate this morning anything.

(01:34:14):
If you exist as somebody I could point my son to and that's the path that's the path you can take and I will point them to you.
I'll point them to you I'll point them to you I'll point them to you I'll point them to you I'll point them to you.
That is the most gratitude. Thank you.
The honesty as a father. Thank you.
That's the most gratitude I can get because I don't want my son to grow believe he's trapped or pigeonholed or any of that.

(01:34:37):
I want him to know that's a path that's a path that's a path.
Let me learn from him. Let me sit at his feet. Let me ask him questions. Let me be curious.
You will never know how valuable that is.
Right. So for you for the people in media all of that you know. Thank you. Thank you all. Thank you all.
I exist only because people want to listen. You know I'm grateful.

(01:34:59):
Thank you. Sure. Appreciate all you do. Appreciate your time and being here man.
This was this was one hell of an episode fellas. Yeah. Like this. This was a great conversation.
Don't give a damn. I didn't even feel that long.
No honestly no no. This was this was something I felt I'm leaving here. It's good. I'm learning something right.
I'm learning something about kind of our message. I'm like this.

(01:35:23):
Like I said there's going to be a car ride where I'm sitting and thinking right.
Hopefully the listeners gain something from this. We appreciate y'all tuning in.
There was a there were some controversial topics maybe some sides whether you're for social media or believe it's a hindrance.
There's there's there's many different sides that you could have taken on this for different reasons right.

(01:35:44):
Whether it's your experience or if you agree with how we feel.
Share in the comments a little bit about your experience or just whether you agree with us or not.
And we love to hear your experience or your perspective on that.
This your boy Yuri and we out. Yeah. Peace.

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