August 31, 2025 • 47 mins
Football Frenzy and Cocktails: Touchdowns, Tailgating, and Talk
Join Cindy and April for a lively discussion about football, both college and NFL, as they sip on cocktails and share hilarious stories about tailgating, memorable games, and friendly rivalries. They also introduce a new drink called the 'Hurricane' in honor of the Miami Hurricanes and recall past adventures at various sporting events. Expect a blend of humor, spirited banter, and a sneak peek into their personal lives as fans. Remember to like, subscribe, and share for more entertaining episodes!
00:00 Welcome and Introductions
00:21 Cocktail Time: Introducing the Hurricane
00:45 College Football Talk
02:06 UCF Game Experience
04:14 Special Guests and Funny Stories
06:37 The Infamous Steelers vs. Broncos Game
12:52 NFL Game Bets and Rivalries
16:29 Football Fandom and Stadium Experiences
24:33 Unexpected Conversations Begin
24:48 Drinks and College Game Day
25:51 Holiday Weekend Plans
28:14 Birthday Weekend Plans
31:28 Football Bets and Vegas Trips
41:10 Random Stories and Final Thoughts
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi guys.
Welcome back to, if you Want Meto be honest with Cindy and
April.
I'm April.
I'm Cindy.
We're gonna be talking todayabout football.
The NFL.
I don't know if you're allowedto do that, but I'm doing it
anyway.
Yes, she loves the Steelers.
We all know.
Mm-hmm.
We'll talk about that shitlater.
(00:21):
But we first got a brand newsign, as you all can see, it
says, but first cocktails.
Mm-hmm.
And why is that?
Because it's, but firstcocktails.
But first, Hey, hey.
We introduce our cocktails.
Yep.
This one is called a hurricane.
Yep.
In honor of the MiamiHurricanes.
(00:43):
Yep.
College football team.
This weekend they play Sundaynight at seven.
So decided my son decidedcollege team.
Yeah.
And Scott's favorite?
Yeah.
And Zach's favorite.
Oh, everybody's favorite.
And not Brandon's favorite.
And not Shane's favorite.
All right.
But hey, three out of five's.
Not bad.
Hey.
Hey.
I'm good.
I don't know who Gabby.
(01:03):
I don't even think Gabby givestwo shits about college.
Well, I like UCF, right?
See, because my daughter's atU-C-F-U-C-F alumni.
They won last night.
Sure did.
So in honor of hopefully MiamiHurricanes.
Winning Sunday night.
Yep.
Cheers, buddy.
Let's taste, taste.
(01:24):
That's good.
Ooh, got your ass, got a littlekick.
Got some liquor in there, right?
Mm-hmm.
I like it.
What kind of liquor in there?
He said that's pretty strong.
I don't think so.
It's not that strong.
I'm kind of numb to it.
It's got some brown liquor inthere.
We can be rude to the brownliquor.
Okay.
Well, uh, because I can tell youthere's like, um.
This got some pink liquor in it.
(01:45):
What is it?
Seagrams or something?
Look, everybody needs to belicked in the brown every once
in a while.
Okay.
She went too far again.
Oh god, dog.
No singer.
Well, I'm just saying stop.
Okay.
Football back to collegefootball.
Yes.
(02:06):
Football.
So, um, you went to a UCF game,right?
Yep.
Last year.
I have never been to a collegefootball game.
I didn't wanna go.
Yeah.
Brina asked me the year before.
Nope, nope, nope, nope.
It's too hot.
I don't like, I'm not doing it.
Nope.
Nope.
I had the best time.
That's how it usually works forher.
I did have the best time.
Yeah.
It was very lively.
It was very Who did you go with?
(02:27):
I went with Brina, her, one ofher best friends.
Mm-hmm.
Kimmel, um, her, uh, herparents.
Tabitha, her parents.
Oh, a big group.
Like a bunch of, so that's good.
Yes.
Did you got a tailgate?
I was the driver.
Oh shit.
You got screwed.
Well because, um, yeah, I wasdriving home night.
'cause your husband's obsessive.
(02:47):
Well I was driving home thatnight anyway.
I drove, um, Ava's and Ava andher parents went.
I drove Ava's mom's van with allof them in the, oh my.
They were all drinking, theywere all partying.
Wuhan.
She shots before we even leftthe apartment to go.
They were pregaming, they weredrinking.
I, I did have one drink, but wewere there for about three hours
(03:07):
and then we drove.
It was, I was there for hours.
Oh.
We don't found that.
I had one.
Okay.
I didn't have any.
And then I drove them and thenwe had fun though.
Yeah.
We all had, we had food andeverything.
And then, uh, they had plenty ofdrinks.
Kids.
Did you called meet the, um, theKnights, the mascot?
He's got a name.
The mascot.
Yeah.
I forget his name though.
(03:28):
No, but I can tell you this, Ihave never.
Ever in my life seen so manycops in my life.
Oh yeah.
Streets of lined up.
Cars of cops.
Yeah.
They're not in their car.
Yeah.
That's the best time to, theywalk around.
Oh my gosh.
It was commit some crime isduring a college game, right
around the I don't promote that.
Yeah.
It, it was all the cops are atso many cops.
(03:50):
Well, and they should be.
I mean, that's a, it was a lot.
I was like, um, is some corn on?
I should be knowing about?
Were there some kind of threats?
I didn't know.
So it always looks like this.
So.
It's a good thing.
It's a security thing.
Absolutely.
Um, yeah, it was a good time,actually.
Well, that's good.
I definitely go again.
Yeah.
I've never, I've always wantedto go to a game.
(04:11):
Scott's been to a game.
Mm-hmm.
Scott, dude, this is one ofthose times that sometimes we
should interview people.
Like we're gonna have to startbringing some guests on some
special guest appearances.
Special.
Um, well, they special, I, I wasjust gonna say, but any who, um.
We should start bringing somepeople on to talk about those
different things.
(04:32):
'cause Scott's got some funnyass stories about him and the
boys.
Like not just my boys, you know,his guy friends.
Yeah.
Going to, uh, Gaines, uh, Gatorsgame.
Oh yeah.
I think it was the Georgia,Florida game, which is what Paul
go to all the time.
Yeah.
But I think this year we'regonna go, I'm gonna go to the
(04:54):
Florida, Georgia game.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've, I, I just only beento one college game and that was
UCF, but it was, it was a lot offun.
Yeah.
It looks like it's a lot ofhyped up.
It's very hyped up, extra funcurricular, you know.
Yeah.
Especially if you tailgate.
Yes.
And I heard that they shut offat the college games.
Um, there's no drinking in thestadiums.
(05:17):
Let me think.
Yeah, I don't think they weredrinking.
I don't, they don't servealcohol in the college stadiums.
Right.
I don't re, I wasn't drinking,so I don't know.
Go ahead and comment if y'allknow.
Yeah, I'll take a drink forthose people without that
stadium, maybe beer.
Mm-hmm.
Nothing.
I don't believe so.
Alright.
But we'll drink enough for allof them.
(05:39):
Wine today.
You want me to wine?
No, you hear me.
Wh every day Wine and hisbitching.
Anyway, so yeah, that, thatsounds, I need to go to a game,
a college game for sure.
I'm surprised you haven't.
You've been to every I know.
I know.
It's as sports fanatics as,yeah, I've been to NASCAR races.
Yeah.
Football game.
(05:59):
I know.
It's crazy.
I haven't been to the Steelerstadium either.
That's weird.
That's some bullshit.
That is bullshit.
My brother could take me onetime.
Would be nice.
Why your brother?
But why can't your husbandbecause he lives right there.
Or your best friend, whoeverthat is, my brother.
Just kidding.
(06:20):
Um, because.
First of all, you're not allowedto a fucking Steelers game ever.
I would like to go ever.
I would like to go.
I bet you fucking to supportyou.
Fucking you bitch.
I need to go to, to support youbitch.
Really not to.
That's what against me.
Is it?
What you did back in the daysaid, we're gonna talk about
this.
It was one game.
(06:43):
The the main game, was it main,I mean, you're talking Yeah, it
was, was it a Super Bowl?
It was to get into the SuperBowl.
Oh, shit.
Championship.
Yeah, babe.
Damn.
Well I wasn't thinking, Iactually think it was a playoff
game.
Yeah.
Calm down.
I don't know if it was achampionship game.
You trying to blame me.
I can't remember.
It was so many years, years ago.
But I, it is not really funny,but it's just funny how it
(07:06):
happened.
It's funny that you continue tostill.
Fucking giggle every time.
Sounds, sorry.
So lemme tell you all thescenario.
Okay.
Tell the story.
Speaking of college, becausethey'll feel bad for me.
I don't believe they will.
Okay, go ahead.
But Okay.
We going get some comments?
I'd appreciate some comments andnot you.
(07:26):
Hater Steelers fans and not youLoving ass Patriot fans.
I won.
I wanna hear from reality.
Okay.
Okay.
How would you feel if your best.
Friend, I'll let you tell yourside and then my side comes
over.
Okay.
Go ahead.
For football Sunday, let me justhave a drink.
Why here at the time I'm gonnahave to drop a name.
(07:49):
Tim Tebow was a quarterbackfour.
The Denver Broncos?
Yep.
I think it was his first year orsomething.
That's why it's so disgraceful.
Anyway, go ahead.
And they were playing thePittsburgh Steelers.
I'm pretty sure it was a playoffgame.
(08:10):
99% sure it was a playoff game,and it comes down to a tie
fourth quarter overtime.
Sure bitch.
I feel like I rude for the otherteam the whole time.
No, you showed up at likehalftime and I said to you, quit
fucking around.
Don't do that.
(08:30):
You're like, hoo, I'm kidding.
Big dummy.
Your big Dum dum is all gigglyand shit.
Okay.
Oh, I'm starting to get heated.
She get, feel it.
My hands are sweating.
It.
Take me back.
And that was a long time ago,dude.
Like 16 years.
It really was really 15 years.
I'll Google that shit, but I sayI definitely passed.
(08:53):
Yeah, it was probably about 15,15 years'.
Just saying I think it was.
So anyway, needless to saytalking.
Well, I Google this still.
Okay.
Um, she is rooting the entiretime.
Mm-hmm.
For the Broncos against her bestfriend, friend was doing it.
Stop.
(09:13):
That's not why.
You didn't even like Tim Tebow.
Well, yeah.
Okay.
Lemme, you didn't even watchfootball.
I'm gonna, yep, you're right.
I'm gonna let you tell thestory.
That's fine.
I did root for them the wholetime she did.
And so I have serious angerissues.
She does.
Overtime comes and I said, okay,bitch, enough.
(09:37):
This is serious.
Fourth, uh, the overtime startsand she goes, it's not like he's
gonna throw a touchdown to endthe game.
And I said, he could bitch.
He could.
She's like, no they're not.
No, he is not.
I said he could.
She goes, I hope he does.
And sure as shit, he throws abomb.
(10:03):
Steelers loose.
Okay.
Are you done with your side ofthe story?
No.
'cause I kicked your ass outnight.
There's always Yes, you did.
Said you get the fuck outta myhouse.
You motherfucking bitch assbitch.
Fuck that shit.
That's what I was thinking in myhead the whole time.
I wanted to choke you.
Oh, well, should have choke.
Good.
Let's hear your story.
Then we went to Hooligan's amonth or two later, or, oh, that
(10:26):
was recent.
A couple weeks ago.
Mm-hmm.
Or something.
Mm-hmm.
And they were replaying thegame.
I said, look.
Look, the Steelers and Tim, TimTebow.
Huh.
So that's a fun game to watchthe real story.
Yeah.
Okay.
Give it to us.
All that is true except, but I,a thousand percent here it is.
(10:50):
Didn't think it all.
January 8th, my baby's birthday,my baby.
Okay.
January 8th, 2012.
13 years ago.
All right.
And she's still bitching aboutand it still hurts.
So I didn't expect at all, Ithink Tim Tebow, that was his
(11:10):
first year being a quarterbackwith the NFL or something, that
they would be, praise Jesus,that they would beat Pittsburgh
Steelers.
What in the world would you eventhink of that?
So I was just messing with her'cause I didn't think they went.
And then when they won, I waslike, oh shit.
Shit.
And then I got kicked out.
And then you got banned fromever?
(11:30):
Yes.
Watching another football game Iknow in my house.
I know, dude, that's a littlebit too much.
I'm going to be honest with you.
Okay.
Didn't think were didn't want meto be honest.
I honestly didn't care who won.
No fucking shit.
That's why it pissed me all sobad.
Who roots against their friendbecause they, I never would do
that to you, but it's fun.
(11:50):
It's only bad if you lose.
So here's the karma that you gotfor that.
Yeah.
I fucking know Karma Karma's.
Let's talk about it.
Sip it up, bitch.
Uh, it was a Super Bowl though.
You're rude.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck.
That's the thing.
Actually, it was Scott.
Oh.
I was behind him pushing processa lot of money.
I was pushing him.
(12:11):
It was the Cols.
No.
Yes.
Giants.
Patriot.
Oh yeah.
No, but was that Peyton Manny?
That was, it was Peyton thatbeat us.
Peyton Manning was thequarterback and he beat us,
whoever he, I thought it waswith the Cols.
Anyway, it was years and yearsago.
My god, I can't remember becausehe har HARs on shit, so we gotta
(12:32):
talk about it.
I can't even remember, to behonest, honest with you.
Anyway, it was, I thought it wasthe Giants, Patriots, and I
thought it was not Peyton.
I thought it was Eli Manning wasthe quarterback.
Shit.
I don't know.
I'm pretty sure.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure it wasthat.
It was the Super Bowl and Markfor sure thought he was gonna
win the Patriots win.
(12:52):
So, um, we put a bet, whoeverwon the loser would have to take
us to Miami to WA and stay in ahotel and go to an NFL game,
Miami against the Patriotsbecause guaranteed Miami always
plays one game at home in Miamiagainst the Patriots.
(13:14):
And one game in New England,which we weren't flying to New
England.
Yeah.
In that fucking cold.
Thank God they didn't bet onthat.
Right?
Thank God we didn't go to that.
So of course we lost thePatriots lost.
So Mark goes in the garage.
Cries.
Cries.
So he was good though.
He didn't kick us out.
(13:34):
No.
'cause he's not rude.
We left, we were smart.
We were like, catch y'all lateron.
So we ended side up having totake these assholes.
Yes to Miami.
Stay in a hotel, pay for thegame.
Fun, dude.
It was fun.
First of all, that was, and thenwe had Gabby and Brina and they
were little.
Yes.
And we dressed like the Patriot.
(13:55):
Y'all dressed like, um, jackassDolphins.
The dolphins.
Oh, I'm, wow, you're rude.
Just kidding.
And the dolphins.
I love the dolphins.
I'm just kidding.
And we, um, yeah, we sattogether in the stadium.
Okay.
So, but I got, I got anotherstory for you too, about the
same football game.
Well, again, this was a littlebit of payback.
How much payback do we need?
(14:16):
It's been two years.
A lot.
That was heart crushing.
Calm down.
It wasn't heart crushing whenthe Patriots lost to the nanny.
No.
That made me giggle like amother.
See, and you know how many timesI've been over here and y'all
say, eh, Brady, I hope theylose.
I hope he breaks his, I hope heretired, but we loved him when
he went to the bus.
All of a sudden y'all were fans.
(14:37):
Why?
Because the Dolphins and thePatriots are in the same
division.
Okay.
They're rivals.
Okay.
So they're not with the box, buty said you hated, uh, Brady.
Oh, no.
We love Brady.
Oh, now?
Mm-hmm.
Soon as he, they've always lovedBrady.
I went to as he went to theBucks.
No, of course, course you would.
Took him, steal him.
Of course he took him.
But when he was playing for thePatriots, y'all hated him.
(14:58):
Soon he got with the bus.
Yes.
They loved him.
They wanted to go see him.
We hated you and Mark.
You probably still do onlyduring football season?
No.
'cause you guys don't even givea shit about the Patriots
anymore.
Yeah, I'm over it.
Well, I, we watched some, butit's just like, you know, with
the stress, like I can't imaginebeing family to these people in
the N nfl.
Oh my God.
(15:19):
Because the stress was gettingtoo much.
Mark finally had to say, I saidI was going through rage.
That's why finally I've gottento the point at this.
It's taken me a little while.
Not that I don't still want topunch a TV or throw something at
it.
Yeah.
It's too stressful.
I've gotten better with it.
One, I just don't invite anybodythat's against the Steelers
(15:39):
over.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Number one.
Mm-hmm.
Um, two, I definitely drinkduring the game.
She definitely does.
That way I can just like relaxand be loud.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And I can scream at the tv.
And the people, but afterwards,I'm okay in there.
Game's over.
I'm like, huh, that's what it's,I'm kind of used to this 50 50
(16:04):
game.
Yes, but also you're leaving outthat Scott would text me all the
time about how the Patriots aregonna lose.
That's why I don't like peoplelike that.
Okay.
You husband?
I don't like my husband.
It's been a proven fact when itcomes to that.
Well, he bets against my team.
When we're in Vegas.
Oh, okay.
So we'll talk about that in aminute.
I'm the asshole.
(16:24):
But that's your also No, youboth are in the muck dog house.
Okay.
Woohoo.
So when we were at the game,Miami and Patriots, mark and
Mark took Scott to go to thebathroom or look at something.
I don't remember what, no, Ithink they went to look.
No, they went, it was when wewere first walking in, well,
(16:45):
where were we?
We didn't go.
We didn't do, they went back outto go walk to the merchandise.
Mm-hmm.
That's what Scott said.
He's a lie so Well, I was dumbwith Mark.
Mark takes Scott.
Well, he thought he was hisfriend.
Oh yes.
I forgot we were going to hisfriends, my back.
Okay.
So Mark takes Scott for a walkwherever they were going.
(17:06):
We stayed in the stadium.
Yep.
With the girls.
Mark comes back and he said,you're never gonna believe this
shit.
And I said, what?
He said, I almost just got in afight.
And I'm like, yeah, right.
Why?
And he, I said, will you being adick?
He said, of course he does.
No, he walks down this long likeI think they were Dolphin alley.
(17:28):
Dolphin alley.
Is that what it's called?
Dolphin?
Something like that.
Well, yeah, they call itsomething like that.
All the dolphins and Scott'swalking with him.
Sorry, I gotta messed with myhand.
And he is getting.
Tortured by all these dolphinsas he's walking by.
I do.
That's what they're doing to himand they keep, tell him how
Patriot sucks and Grady sucksdoing that.
Mark's like I got through it.
I didn't care.
(17:49):
Whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
I went into the bathroom andsome guy like bumped him hard.
Right.
And he He said something.
Yeah.
He said something to him aboutthe Patriots.
What a piece of shit he is forliking the Patriots or whatever.
Mark's.
Like I couldn't let that go.
He shook feet on him.
Yeah.
So they got into an argument.
I guess Scott got him out ofthere or whatever, and I was
(18:10):
like, first of all, then it mademe think, are we even safe at a
game?
No, I got my daughter here.
Like, we're just trying to havefun.
I don't care.
In Miami, no motherfucking shitcould go down.
Yeah.
So Scott, um, yeah, put my manin a situation.
In a dangerous situation.
Yeah.
No, not your daughter though.
No, just my man.
Just smart.
Mark's back then.
(18:30):
I mean, not now.
Why then?
Not now, bitch.
Well, so he's skinny now.
He's scro.
He baby, he's skinny.
You know, back then Mark was.
He could handle his himself.
Yeah.
Scott wasn't really concernedabout Mark getting his ass
whooped.
He was more worried about Mark.
Yeah.
Whooping somebody's ass and themgoing to jail together.
Yes.
That's what Scott was.
Yeah.
Probably like, come on bro, it'sall good.
(18:50):
Let's go.
We don't wanna spend mark'slike, why did he, why did you
take me through that?
And Scott just like, I don'tthink he thought, thought, he
think that, I don't think he,first of Scott thought that shit
was funny.
I don't think he knew thatreaction was gonna come to, what
did he think?
Listen, he should have known,because I went.
To a Dolphins game with all thekids and Scott.
(19:12):
Okay.
Okay.
And it was end of the season.
Dolphins didn't even have achance of getting in the
playoffs, but we went, I forget,um, it was, it was Miami
Dolphins.
Baltimore Ravens, okay.
In Miami.
So, I mean, I can't standRavens.
(19:32):
Yeah.
So what do you think?
I go as, do I go in dolphingear?
No.
Hell no.
I go in Pittsburgh Steeler gear.
She's, she's an instigator.
I am.
I don't give a shit.
And sure enough people gotta jawthat jaw.
Scott was like, you're trying toget me in a fight.
You're just, you're itching toget me to beat somebody's ass.
I'm like, it's not my fault.
(19:54):
I like, I can wear whateverJersey want.
Yeah, you should be able to.
But people were wearing jetsjerseys and I mean, I learned
you can't do that when I went toMiami.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, the oneyear, how about when I took
Nathan and Shane, my sweet babyI know.
And he was 13.
13 years old.
Both.
This is why won't let peopletake my kids nowhere, especially
(20:14):
me.
And it was me and Kim, twowomen.
Mm-hmm.
And two young boys.
And we went to the JacksonvilleJaguars game.
Now mind you, I'm gonna tell yousomething.
All fans are assholes.
They really are In their ownstadium.
Yeah.
Okay.
They really are.
(20:35):
But there is a special place inhell for these Jaguar fans.
Okay.
Because they're pussies, they'rebitches, okay.
Not all Jaguar fans.
Okay.
Well, Shane and Nathan areJaguar fans, okay?
And I can say that.
Okay?
Okay.
Because I took them there.
All right.
And I'm pissed.
(20:56):
So until somebody proves mewrong that they're not, she's
mad, she'll keep it going.
But what man?
Okay.
First of all, I got a big mouthvie.
I mean, come on now.
No, really?
But I was being controlled.
I was good.
Steelers were losing back then.
This is when the Steelers andJaguars used to be in the same
(21:18):
division and it mattered in thedivision.
Okay.
So it's when the Jaguars justcame out.
You know, it just came.
So anyway, so Jacksonville waswinning.
There's no chance of theSteelers to come back.
We had gotten our ass wiped fromone end of the field to the
next, every quarter.
(21:40):
It's the very end.
Okay.
At this point, might as wellhave some fun, right?
I had listened for three, well,two hours straight.
Their stupid chant when theywould get a first down, they'd
go move them.
Change, move, then change, movethem.
Change.
Well, what do you think?
You're in there.
(22:01):
Fuck you.
Okay.
You just get so angry.
It it, it would be like metaking the terrible towel and
just sw it right in your facethe whole time.
Well, it's gonna annoy you aftera while we Yeah, but it ain't
right.
That annoy me.
But not if it's your, if it's adifferent team, it's just,
that's, it's absolutely gonna.
So, but I'm losing.
(22:22):
I know, but So you just want tokeep digging it and digging it.
So you, you should've told thewhole stadium not to fucking say
it.
No.
What I did was the grown adultwoman that I am, I like to hear
what this, I waited mm-hmm.
Until we ran the ball and movedit one yard and I stood up and
(22:43):
went, move them.
Change, move them, change, movethem.
Change.
My poor baby was there.
No Jaguars fans did not likethat shit.
Boy.
Next thing I know, I got a fullbottle of water pelted to the
back of me.
Now them are my feisty days.
Okay.
When she was younger?
Yeah.
I mean you're talking 20, 24years ago, or 34.
(23:05):
So they were 30, 20 years ago.
Mm-hmm.
Dude, I was in my prime.
I was a fighter back then, boy.
And I was like, come on.
Who did it?
Let's go.
It was bad, ugly, bad.
And then I had to compose myselfbecause I realized that I'm at a
(23:26):
football game with my baby.
I didn't give a shit with mybaby.
Oh, I'm worried about your baby.
And at the time, my baby's bestfriend.
Okay.
I wasn't worried about your ass.
Yeah.
And so, and my poor sister.
And I'm like, okay, I gotta getit together.
'cause just because I'm afighter Yeah.
(23:46):
Don't mean the rest of thesepeople got my back.
It's a long dress all way down.
So what pissed me off the most?
Okay.
I could take the water bottle tothe back.
Oh no.
That would piss me off the mostI could deal with it talking, I
wouldn't care.
But as they're going out,because they're such baby back,
bitches and losers.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, winners.
(24:07):
Sore winners, Uhhuh, as they'regoing down the thing, they start
calling Shane and Nathantraitors term coats.
'cause they're wearing theirJaguar shit and they're hanging
out with you and they're withwhat the, I mean, you act like
they little kids.
Calm down.
Dude, I wish they're lucky.
That wasn't Zach.
Zach at 13.
Zach would've beat the shit out.
(24:28):
An old ass man.
But yeah, that was my fun.
Why do I like football?
I don't know.
The hell is happening.
I know because I'm a fighter.
Yeah.
I'm a little, I'm a survivor.
I'm love.
She's the fighter.
Yep, yep, yep.
That's what it's, I gotta catchup.
That's what I know.
You're slow.
You got another one coming.
You better chug it.
(24:48):
This ain't my favorite becauseyou know what the next drink is?
What?
What is this one again?
Hurricane.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
In honor of college game day,which starts this week.
Not a big fan of it this week.
Well, last night technically.
So I should tell Zach Scott tobring you your next one in honor
of me.
No, I'm gonna drink it.
You know what the next one'scalled?
What?
(25:09):
Fat hooker.
Why?
Where, why?
I don't know.
We just have, it's just a normaldrinks.
What do you want it to be?
Well, this hurricane's fine.
The name of it.
The name.
It's the name that bothers you.
I think it's a great name.
Fat Bitch, Noah.
What was it?
Fat Hooker.
(25:29):
Wow.
Wow.
Rude Fat hooker.
All right, well it reminds me ofthat sign Fat Hooker.
Remember on the Palm Coast whenthey changed all the sign it
said a bunch of fat hookersaround the corner.
Yes.
Or whatever it says.
Horse turn here or some shit.
Yes.
Fat horse.
It was funny.
Yeah, that's good shit.
So that was funny though.
Yeah.
(25:50):
Anyway.
Oh my god.
It's been a long week.
It's a holiday weekend.
Thank God I get the day off andpaid Monday.
Y Sorry, I'm putting in ourdrink order real quick.
I thought you'd catch me sayingthat.
You don't even know what I said.
No, bitch.
I just said it's a holidayweekend.
I'm glad.
'cause I get a three day weekendand Monday I get paid for it.
(26:12):
Y'all.
I know what that was.
I know what that was.
Yeah.
She's paying me.
Little does she know we stoppedpaying holiday pay.
It started today.
Labor Day means that you don'tget paid on labor.
That's right.
Bullshit.
Yep.
Sneak my time, huh?
So what do you have planned forthis weekend?
(26:34):
Mm mm Nothing.
It's supposed to rain allweekend.
I know this is the day I don'thave a pool, so I'm screwed that
way.
Can't go.
Um, spend the weekend at aresort because it's supposed to
rain all weekend.
It's almost a waste of money toI know, but it's so annoying.
I know.
'cause I love a pool and adrink.
A pool and a drink.
(26:54):
I wish we could rent, rent ahouse for just the day.
We just want your pool for.
Yeah.
I mean, or you pay know.
We know any money this bitchsaid or you pay.
Yeah.
We don't know no one with pools.
Well, we do, but they don't wantus over.
We, we'd, uh, we don't party ourwelcome away.
(27:16):
What is it called?
Yeah.
What's it called when you Idon't stayed overstated.
Our welcome.
Yes.
That is rude.
I'm just saying it must be, youknow what they say?
Hmm.
People in fish.
Are the same after three days,they both start to stink
stinking.
Well, I just need three days.
I'll leave after that.
That's what I'm saying.
(27:36):
I just need a date.
I just one day actually.
Damn.
And I got some good floaties,you know.
Good fat girl.
Floaties.
Yeah, fat girl.
Floaty.
Remember that?
I got the big old flamingo.
I got a llama.
'cause of my neck is like allama.
Like what the hell?
That's my nickname.
Yeah.
So I don't, I mean, that's it.
(27:56):
And not only that, my plans areyour plans.
So what?
What do what?
Oh, could you're coming to helpclean out the garage?
Well, I'm, I got plans that, no,that's the plan.
You said it.
I have it on film.
Well, I thought that's bullshit.
I'm done with this friendship.
Oh, me too.
But guess what?
What?
Next weekend's?
My birthday weekend.
Oh, cheers, bitch.
(28:18):
Where are we going for yourbirthday?
Oh, that's the question of theday.
Well, what have we done in thepast for your birthday?
Told.
Remember that time we had thatparty?
It's always Labor Day weekend.
I know.
And we're always, I love thatsomebody wasn't that fun.
Yes.
And you know what's coming out?
Fucking too in honor of Survivorcoming out.
We should do that.
Yes.
I loved it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Even though you were sofrustrated'cause you were like
(28:40):
the announcer and all the drunkswouldn't listen.
Oh.
But it was fine always that way.
I liked it.
I know, but I, I liked it.
I need to hire Jeff Probes to beYeah, yeah.
Come one time do a survivorparty.
True.
Survivor Party's fun.
So I told Mark.
Last week or the week beforewhen you told me, I said, so
April's thinking about taking meaway for my week, for my
(29:02):
birthday weekend.
I'm still thinking about it.
And he looked at me and he said,she is.
I said, yeah, but she said, wemight have to take you and
Scott, but yeah, I vote againstit.
You're all beyond.
And Mark said, you're so rude.
At least April loves herhusband.
I said, I love you.
I love you to stay home.
I'm just thinking it's the onlyway I can spend the money, his
money, and hey, we're trying tosave money.
(29:24):
If we don't take two extras,we're saving money.
That's how I see it.
Well, because I say the samebecause they cost me more in
alcohol.
That's what I'm saying.
I mean, I know we look like thealcoholic.
There are alcoholic and we gotno proof.
Yes, but they are not only that,Scott is a high dollar hoe.
Yes.
Sorry.
He's high dollar hoe when itcomes to food too.
(29:45):
He wants best of the best of thebest of the best.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Like dude.
We're going to McDonald's.
No, we got the dollar menu allday long.
Shoot.
So Scott would cost us even moremoney.
But anyway, mark said, um, aftera few minutes, I guess he, he
thought about it, sat in, he'slike, are you serious?
She said, I said, that's whatshe told me.
(30:06):
He said, um.
She text her, call me about yourbirthday to see what I have
planned.
I said, well, guess what?
Because I know what he hasplanned.
I said, what do you haveplanned?
He said, I don't know you.
I said, yeah, that's whatevershe has planned.
That's what my friends doing.
Let me text his ass right now.
And say, say, what are we doing?
He's gonna know you're with me.
What's the plan for Cindy'sbirthday?
(30:27):
He don't know that we're in themiddle of ing.
He'll probably think you'redone.
Yeah.
Then he is gonna call.
I know.
That's gonna be funny.
He is gonna be like, you'redone.
Yeah, you're done.
You wanna come home?
Nope.
Let's see if he responds.
What's the plan?
Oh shit.
For Cindy's birthday weekend, Bday.
(30:48):
My birthday's on Friday, sohere's what I like.
He's gonna text back and saywhatever the fuck you're
planning.
Or he ain't gonna text back atall, or he won't, he's gonna
wait till I get home and belike, April asked me.
I don't know.
I know.
Or he'll reply.
Um, Cindy said you were takingher away.
Yeah.
I'm be like, okay, you tell meIng, that's what I want to
reply.
(31:09):
Bitch checked off.
Bye bitch.
Yeah.
Anyway, so we got a lot ofthings coming up soon.
We do.
Yeah.
I've got.
I was gonna tell you the otherfootball story, it just hit me.
What other football story?
My fucking husband, dude.
Blaming her husband again.
Lemme tell you something.
Okay.
We go to Vegas.
(31:30):
Okay?
We have been going for the pastsix years, right?
Football?
Yeah.
October.
Oh, October, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which anybody's upset about it.
Blame my brother-in-law, Paul.
We blame him for everything.
It's fine.
He's the one who took us thefirst time.
So anyway.
Um.
Every, every time we go toVegas, I had to threaten his
(31:50):
life last time because he likesto bet on the Steelers to win
now.
So it's good.
No, it's not.
Why?
Because whatever he bets on,okay, loses the opposite
happens.
You see what I'm saying?
He's trying to be supportive.
(32:11):
So all what I need to do, Ifigured it out this year.
I'm gonna counter his by double.
That way I get his money back.
Plus, good idea.
Right?
Good idea.
So he says the, the last time wewent, he's like, it's a sure
thing.
It was the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Okay.
Were playing, I believe it wasthe Buffalo Bills.
(32:35):
No, couldn't have been thebills.
'cause they were good at thattime.
Cleveland Browns, that's what itwas.
Cleveland Browns.
Then it's just your thing.
You would think.
Should have been, they werefavored by like 21 points, not
Pittsburgh, Cleveland.
Oh.
And Scott's like, there's nofricking way that Cleveland's
(32:56):
gonna cover that spread.
So I'm definitely takingPittsburgh.
Okay.
I begged him Do it.
Please.
Because I.
Don't want them.
I'm not worried about the money.
Fuck you and your little$150.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Unless it's a million or I don'tcare.
10,000.
(33:16):
Mm-hmm.
Forget it.
Okay.
I'm greedy.
I want the win.
Oh, gotcha.
Not the money.
I need the win.
All right.
No, he said it's a sure thing,babe.
I said okay.
He said, I'm gonna bet on mydolphins too, to show you how.
Do it.
(33:37):
He bet on his dolphins.
They both lost.
Oh, Scott, why?
Well, he tried.
He tried to support you now?
In his honor.
In his, in his honor.
In his honor.
I don't think that's in theword.
In his what?
In his defense.
Defense.
In his honor.
In his, on the hell.
(33:58):
I'm not even drunk yet.
Let me drink up.
'cause you're saying honor I Noketchup.
Hold on.
Um, in his defense.
Yeah.
I could understand the bet.
Okay.
But I can't do, I It's, it'slike you said earlier, he used
to text you and I used to tell Iwhat I can't stand is a Oh yeah.
A gloat before the game happens.
(34:20):
Mm-hmm.
You're gonna sit there and talk.
That's your man.
Thank you.
Just so you know.
Thank you God.
Dangit talk.
All that shit.
Shit talking.
Then he go find out.
Fuck around.
Find out.
Well, we found out a few times.
So how do I get him out of this?
Out of what?
Because we're getting ready togo to Vegas again this October.
(34:40):
So you don't want him to go?
You want me to go?
That's what I heard.
That's what I heard.
That's what I heard.
I agree.
Let's think about it.
How do I get, how do I swap himout for Cindy?
Yeah.
Hmm.
There's no way.
No, it's not possible.
So how do I get'em to not gambleagainst my Steelers?
Against or for, or four.
(35:01):
I don't give a shit eitherdecide.
You say, don't gamble.
We're not gambling on, on teamsthis year.
I, I don't know that that'sgonna work.
But you can do it without himknowing.
Silent LeBron?
Yes.
I'm not losing any more money toanymore games or stress.
I, we decided this year ago, wecan't do it no more.
(35:22):
Oh, it, it's too stressful.
Like it, it's, you act like it.
It's your, um, family membersout there, babies out there.
I can't imagine the stress afteryears of the Patriots.
And I'd be cursing'em.
Oh boy, I can't do it no more.
And not only that, Imaginetbeing the family member of'em.
And then you gotta deal with thefact that they just got traded.
I just spent thousands andthousands of dollars on gear.
(35:43):
That's true.
And they trade and they tradedyour ass.
Yeah.
You know, Barbara.
See, I'd have to jack their assfor that, my kid.
I'd have to be like, youworthless mother.
What the fuck did you get tradedfor?
You shouldn't have been able tobe traded.
Yeah.
I'm just kidding.
Anyway, I was heartbroken whenBrady left the Patriots.
I know, I know.
(36:04):
I would be too.
I couldn't believe it.
Especially for the replacementyou guys got.
Well, I, what was his name?
John Jones?
Or what was his name?
Something like that, wasn't it?
It was, it was.
I think he lasted a year.
I, I think people love to hearwomen talk about football that
know nothing about it.
Yeah.
Like minimal.
We know bitch, but we, I don'tknow enough.
But you know, I'm Mondayquarterback in every game, but I
(36:26):
don't have a fucking clue whattook place.
I don't even know who's on ourteam.
All I know is we got DK Metcalf.
I think I could have just saidthat wrong.
Hey, uh, um, what's that dumbass?
Oh my gosh.
Geez.
I'm just kidding.
He is not a dumb ass.
Um, Gronk is trying to come backgame.
He's my quarterback and I can'teven remember his name.
(36:48):
He's used to play the Green BayPackers.
I don't, how the hell is I now?
I don't know.
The Green Bay Packers.
Oh my God.
How is this possible?
You're you're, you're gone.
I'm blanking.
You're gone.
You drank too much.
I'm drunk.
I'm not drunk.
Cameron's gonna listen to thisand hold on.
Gimme a minute.
Cheer you up, spit you out.
Know So is my brother.
(37:09):
Now my brother's gonna be like,oh shit.
Spit it out.
Spit it out.
Oh, Aaron Rogers got your ass.
God dang that took a minute.
He on the Steelers.
That was a total fucking brain.
He's like 80 years old.
Shut down, calm down.
He is pretty old though.
He is, he is.
He's, I think he's older thanBrady or as old.
(37:30):
Yeah, but to me they're not.
I mean, if you're still playinggood, what's another age?
I mean, it's, it's questionable.
Brady was, I don't know aboutAaron Rogers.
We're about to learn today.
Well, we gonna find out ain'twe?
We're gonna learn today.
So anyway, that weekend we'rejust gonna, I don't know what
we're gonna do, man.
Go to the beach.
Ew.
(37:51):
I don't like the beach.
There's no beach.
What do you mean there's nobeach?
There's a flesh eating bacteria.
Yeah, there is two people died.
I ain't doing it.
I ain't done it.
But two people, but two pe, twopeople in Florida died from
eating oysters, which is weirdto me.
Unless you got some cut in yourmouth.
Well, it's not come out it well.
It's an open wound.
(38:13):
So is this Go, go.
Why does she go?
I mean, it don't make sense.
Okay.
Hold on.
Well, maybe it was two men.
Hold on.
Excuse me.
So it's what I'm just saying.
All right, well, so fuck upFriday.
You know, you swim in the ocean.
Don't always happen to get aflush eating bacteria in there.
(38:39):
Sorry guys.
I don't understand the problem.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't drink and listen to her.
I got those amoebas.
Swim up in your nose, bro.
No, that's hot water though.
No.
Yes.
No, it's when it's warm, pastywater.
Warm, pasty.
I know a couple girls.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Alright.
We're going back to football.
(39:02):
Well, me, geez.
Okay.
Hurry up with that second drink.
No, I don't even hear the icecube going.
I don't either.
I think he is like Uhuh.
They've had enough.
God dang.
He's slow.
Can you text him again?
Yeah.
But there was something else Iwanted to tell you about other
(39:24):
than that with football.
Oh, thank God.
Yeah.
Not about that.
Okay.
No football.
Let me think.
Um, it starts next week, right?
NFL starts next week.
That's what I'm talking about.
See, I know that.
I know.
Why do you know that?
You told me.
Right?
(39:46):
But hey, I sounded smart untilyou fucked it all up.
Uh, well, I mean, isn't thatalways?
Yes, dude.
Dumb dumb.
Until she, oh, do you like it?
Did we say yes?
We did talk.
She's drunk You.
She go.
I need that fat hooker in here.
(40:07):
No, we got some.
You hear?
I said some right?
I, I know what the fuck you arelooking at and saying.
I said I named it after me.
Well, it's actually, it is areal drink.
I didn't create it and make itup.
Oh, you sure?
But I'm thinking we shouldprobably patent one of them.
(40:29):
How can we patent if it wasalready done?
I don't think patent's the wordI'm looking for patent.
Ain't that where you It's yours.
Yeah.
It's where you like, nocopyright.
But we gotta have it as like,like, we'll name it something
than fat hooker.
Fat hookers.
No.
Honest whores.
I don't think that sells nowhores.
(40:50):
Yeah.
Boring, honest, boring people.
No, we're far from that place.
We got a bunch of whore friendsthough.
I You want me to name some?
Yeah, if you want me to behonest.
Okay.
I do think we should start doinga little, um, segment with, um,
(41:17):
some like crazy stories from thenews.
Different things.
Oh, I got some right now.
Yeah.
What?
All right, let's do a littlespeed round of that.
We got, we got what, about 10minutes.
The flesh eating bacteria.
That was one.
And I saw that's in VolusiaCounty and Flagler County.
Yep.
And then, uh, a man got lostand, um, princess Place, the
cops had to go find him.
(41:37):
What?
Yep.
In hear about that.
You better read it.
You better print his place.
Last night they had to go searchfor him in the swamps.
He couldn't find a place for twohours, couldn't find his way out
for two hours.
So they had to go get him.
Where were you going?
That you didn't stay on the pathor right off of the path anyway,
that's, I mean, was he normal?
I mean, like was he drinkinglike us?
(41:59):
It was dark, you know?
That's only way I lose my way.
That's why I think when we goout with Scott and stuff, he's
always made sure when I'mdrinking, he is like, no bitch,
you're here, here with me.
I need that shirt.
He stays, I'm with him.
He stays, um, sober enough to dothat.
(42:19):
I gotta babysit Mark everywherewe go.
I mean, it takes him a lotlonger to get drunk compared to
me.
Oh yeah.
Because he's so like within thefirst professional.
Yeah.
First two minutes.
Yeah.
I'm shit faced, so he is tryingto keep track.
Gotcha.
Well, and then I sober up andthen I'm like, fuck.
Here we go.
Are we're gonna be able to try anew drink online here?
I don't, I don't know that we'regonna have another drink here.
(42:40):
I might have to, uh, I think Ineed to install a bell.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Like, he's my butler.
I thought that was goingsomewhere else.
He gonna fuck me up for thatone.
He, he should be our butlertoday.
I think so too.
Well, I guess we're screwed,sir.
Scotty, thanks a lot Scott, forthe second drink.
(43:01):
Well we were gonna introduce thefat hooker to you, but
unfortunately the fat hooker'sdrinking, I guess.
I guess she hasn't beendelivered.
Yeah, whatever.
Or screwed.
Okay.
We'll have to bring the fathooker on the next show.
Yep.
If we like it.
'cause I still want'em to makeit, I'll have to still introduce
(43:23):
it.
Yeah.
Or I need a second one of this.
'cause I, I got, I got a DDtoday.
That's true.
Yeah.
Who is it?
Car broke down.
What do you mean?
Who is it?
Okay.
As long as you weren't thinkingit was me husband, no.
Bitch.
I might have a newer car, butlast time, last episode.
See, we were talking about thefact that I didn't have a
vehicle just so she got one.
(43:44):
Now I don't have one now.
This bitch ain't gone.
What the hell is going on?
Well, at least the Lord givesone of us.
The Lord giveth.
Take it, Lord giveth and takeit.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's, that seems to bewhat happened.
I'm still, oh yeah.
I gotta introduce handed.
Speaking of witch.
What?
Baby?
Jesus.
Oh, I thought, because everybodyneeds a my hair.
(44:05):
I was like, you look at yourhair, everybody needs a little
Jesus.
You want me to grab Jesus?
Yeah.
Bring little baby Jesus out.
I have to introduce him.
We got this.
Look at how cute he's, he's socute.
Mommy.
Sweet.
That's why she got a newvehicle.
Because the Lord needs Jesus intheir life.
Yep.
(44:25):
Just a little one.
Just a little.
I mean, for me, he's cute.
You know?
I need it probably a lot.
I got one of them at home.
Yeah.
Well, I gave it to Bri.
Lord knows she needs love.
Jesus.
You got that right.
Which that's another thing weneed to talk about on our next
episode.
Jesus.
That's every episode, but um,the school system.
(44:45):
Oh, now that she's a teacher.
Oh yeah, I know some stuff.
There's some bad kids in thisworld.
There are some bad kids in thisworld.
Bad young kids.
But you know what it is?
Starts with the parents, butokay, that's the next episode.
All guys, my kids are great inthe school system, so it's not
just thing she lie like a damnrug.
(45:08):
You lying.
Whatever, dude.
But your kids are good.
So better than mine, whatever.
They're all amazing.
My kids were good in school.
They're still good in school.
Well they, yeah.
They're great kids.
Yours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're we're blessed, both ofus.
You got that right.
They're not, both of us areblessed by Jesus addict.
(45:30):
They're not drug dealers.
They're not alcoholics.
Marina's coming close thoughafter teaching all day.
She's like, I need a glass ofwine.
That's, well, Jesus loved wine.
That's right.
That's why she drank it.
That's right.
Anyway, all right.
Well, all right guys.
Well have a great.
Holiday weekend.
Yeah.
Labor Day weekend.
Yep.
We'll let you know whatcraziness took place, if any.
(45:51):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Truthfully.
Yep.
This, the, uh, weather here isgonna be shit.
Yeah.
All weekend, unfortunately.
Yeah.
So, um, as we usually say, um,make sure that you like, follow,
subscribe on YouTube becauseit's free.
Listen, I'm not gonna lie whenwe get booming, okay.
(46:13):
I know it's coming.
All right.
Any day.
But we have tons of fans outthere.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Eventually it's gonna end upcosting for a subscription, so
you might as well subscribe nowwhile it's fine.
Yeah, it's true.
I mean, free while it's fine.
Well, it's, hello.
It's fine.
Whatever.
While we're fine.
Well, hey, so anyway, make sureyou like, subscribe, comment,
(46:34):
um, share.
Follow us on TikTok, that'swhere some of our craziness will
be shown.
Yep.
And certain little episodes,sneak peeks of what's coming.
Also, make sure you follow us onInstagram and Facebook.
Um, same thing like follow,share, comment and send us your
thoughts.
Agree.
(46:54):
All right, God bless y'all andhave a happy holiday.
Bye bye.
Hi guys.
Welcome back to, if you Want Meto be honest with Cindy and
April.
I'm April.
I'm Cindy.
We're gonna be talking todayabout football.
The NFL.
I don't know if you're allowedto do that, but I'm doing it
anyway.
Yes, she loves the Steelers.
We all know.
Mm-hmm.
We'll talk about that shitlater.
(00:21):
But we first got a brand newsign, as you all can see, it
says, but first cocktails.
Mm-hmm.
And why is that?
Because it's, but firstcocktails.
But first, Hey, hey.
We introduce our cocktails.
Yep.
This one is called a hurricane.
Yep.
In honor of the MiamiHurricanes.
(00:43):
Yep.
College football team.
This weekend they play Sundaynight at seven.
So decided my son decidedcollege team.
Yeah.
And Scott's favorite?
Yeah.
And Zach's favorite.
Oh, everybody's favorite.
And not Brandon's favorite.
And not Shane's favorite.
All right.
But hey, three out of five's.
Not bad.
Hey.
Hey.
I'm good.
I don't know who Gabby.
(01:03):
I don't even think Gabby givestwo shits about college.
Well, I like UCF, right?
See, because my daughter's atU-C-F-U-C-F alumni.
They won last night.
Sure did.
So in honor of hopefully MiamiHurricanes.
Winning Sunday night.
Yep.
Cheers, buddy.
Let's taste, taste.
(01:24):
That's good.
Ooh, got your ass, got a littlekick.
Got some liquor in there, right?
Mm-hmm.
I like it.
What kind of liquor in there?
He said that's pretty strong.
I don't think so.
It's not that strong.
I'm kind of numb to it.
It's got some brown liquor inthere.
We can be rude to the brownliquor.
Okay.
Well, uh, because I can tell youthere's like, um.
This got some pink liquor in it.
(01:45):
What is it?
Seagrams or something?
Look, everybody needs to belicked in the brown every once
in a while.
Okay.
She went too far again.
Oh god, dog.
No singer.
Well, I'm just saying stop.
Okay.
Football back to collegefootball.
Yes.
(02:06):
Football.
So, um, you went to a UCF game,right?
Yep.
Last year.
I have never been to a collegefootball game.
I didn't wanna go.
Yeah.
Brina asked me the year before.
Nope, nope, nope, nope.
It's too hot.
I don't like, I'm not doing it.
Nope.
Nope.
I had the best time.
That's how it usually works forher.
I did have the best time.
Yeah.
It was very lively.
It was very Who did you go with?
(02:27):
I went with Brina, her, one ofher best friends.
Mm-hmm.
Kimmel, um, her, uh, herparents.
Tabitha, her parents.
Oh, a big group.
Like a bunch of, so that's good.
Yes.
Did you got a tailgate?
I was the driver.
Oh shit.
You got screwed.
Well because, um, yeah, I wasdriving home night.
'cause your husband's obsessive.
(02:47):
Well I was driving home thatnight anyway.
I drove, um, Ava's and Ava andher parents went.
I drove Ava's mom's van with allof them in the, oh my.
They were all drinking, theywere all partying.
Wuhan.
She shots before we even leftthe apartment to go.
They were pregaming, they weredrinking.
I, I did have one drink, but wewere there for about three hours
(03:07):
and then we drove.
It was, I was there for hours.
Oh.
We don't found that.
I had one.
Okay.
I didn't have any.
And then I drove them and thenwe had fun though.
Yeah.
We all had, we had food andeverything.
And then, uh, they had plenty ofdrinks.
Kids.
Did you called meet the, um, theKnights, the mascot?
He's got a name.
The mascot.
Yeah.
I forget his name though.
(03:28):
No, but I can tell you this, Ihave never.
Ever in my life seen so manycops in my life.
Oh yeah.
Streets of lined up.
Cars of cops.
Yeah.
They're not in their car.
Yeah.
That's the best time to, theywalk around.
Oh my gosh.
It was commit some crime isduring a college game, right
around the I don't promote that.
Yeah.
It, it was all the cops are atso many cops.
(03:50):
Well, and they should be.
I mean, that's a, it was a lot.
I was like, um, is some corn on?
I should be knowing about?
Were there some kind of threats?
I didn't know.
So it always looks like this.
So.
It's a good thing.
It's a security thing.
Absolutely.
Um, yeah, it was a good time,actually.
Well, that's good.
I definitely go again.
Yeah.
I've never, I've always wantedto go to a game.
(04:11):
Scott's been to a game.
Mm-hmm.
Scott, dude, this is one ofthose times that sometimes we
should interview people.
Like we're gonna have to startbringing some guests on some
special guest appearances.
Special.
Um, well, they special, I, I wasjust gonna say, but any who, um.
We should start bringing somepeople on to talk about those
different things.
(04:32):
'cause Scott's got some funnyass stories about him and the
boys.
Like not just my boys, you know,his guy friends.
Yeah.
Going to, uh, Gaines, uh, Gatorsgame.
Oh yeah.
I think it was the Georgia,Florida game, which is what Paul
go to all the time.
Yeah.
But I think this year we'regonna go, I'm gonna go to the
(04:54):
Florida, Georgia game.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've, I, I just only beento one college game and that was
UCF, but it was, it was a lot offun.
Yeah.
It looks like it's a lot ofhyped up.
It's very hyped up, extra funcurricular, you know.
Yeah.
Especially if you tailgate.
Yes.
And I heard that they shut offat the college games.
Um, there's no drinking in thestadiums.
(05:17):
Let me think.
Yeah, I don't think they weredrinking.
I don't, they don't servealcohol in the college stadiums.
Right.
I don't re, I wasn't drinking,so I don't know.
Go ahead and comment if y'allknow.
Yeah, I'll take a drink forthose people without that
stadium, maybe beer.
Mm-hmm.
Nothing.
I don't believe so.
Alright.
But we'll drink enough for allof them.
(05:39):
Wine today.
You want me to wine?
No, you hear me.
Wh every day Wine and hisbitching.
Anyway, so yeah, that, thatsounds, I need to go to a game,
a college game for sure.
I'm surprised you haven't.
You've been to every I know.
I know.
It's as sports fanatics as,yeah, I've been to NASCAR races.
Yeah.
Football game.
(05:59):
I know.
It's crazy.
I haven't been to the Steelerstadium either.
That's weird.
That's some bullshit.
That is bullshit.
My brother could take me onetime.
Would be nice.
Why your brother?
But why can't your husbandbecause he lives right there.
Or your best friend, whoeverthat is, my brother.
Just kidding.
(06:20):
Um, because.
First of all, you're not allowedto a fucking Steelers game ever.
I would like to go ever.
I would like to go.
I bet you fucking to supportyou.
Fucking you bitch.
I need to go to, to support youbitch.
Really not to.
That's what against me.
Is it?
What you did back in the daysaid, we're gonna talk about
this.
It was one game.
(06:43):
The the main game, was it main,I mean, you're talking Yeah, it
was, was it a Super Bowl?
It was to get into the SuperBowl.
Oh, shit.
Championship.
Yeah, babe.
Damn.
Well I wasn't thinking, Iactually think it was a playoff
game.
Yeah.
Calm down.
I don't know if it was achampionship game.
You trying to blame me.
I can't remember.
It was so many years, years ago.
But I, it is not really funny,but it's just funny how it
(07:06):
happened.
It's funny that you continue tostill.
Fucking giggle every time.
Sounds, sorry.
So lemme tell you all thescenario.
Okay.
Tell the story.
Speaking of college, becausethey'll feel bad for me.
I don't believe they will.
Okay, go ahead.
But Okay.
We going get some comments?
I'd appreciate some comments andnot you.
(07:26):
Hater Steelers fans and not youLoving ass Patriot fans.
I won.
I wanna hear from reality.
Okay.
Okay.
How would you feel if your best.
Friend, I'll let you tell yourside and then my side comes
over.
Okay.
Go ahead.
For football Sunday, let me justhave a drink.
Why here at the time I'm gonnahave to drop a name.
(07:49):
Tim Tebow was a quarterbackfour.
The Denver Broncos?
Yep.
I think it was his first year orsomething.
That's why it's so disgraceful.
Anyway, go ahead.
And they were playing thePittsburgh Steelers.
I'm pretty sure it was a playoffgame.
(08:10):
99% sure it was a playoff game,and it comes down to a tie
fourth quarter overtime.
Sure bitch.
I feel like I rude for the otherteam the whole time.
No, you showed up at likehalftime and I said to you, quit
fucking around.
Don't do that.
(08:30):
You're like, hoo, I'm kidding.
Big dummy.
Your big Dum dum is all gigglyand shit.
Okay.
Oh, I'm starting to get heated.
She get, feel it.
My hands are sweating.
It.
Take me back.
And that was a long time ago,dude.
Like 16 years.
It really was really 15 years.
I'll Google that shit, but I sayI definitely passed.
(08:53):
Yeah, it was probably about 15,15 years'.
Just saying I think it was.
So anyway, needless to saytalking.
Well, I Google this still.
Okay.
Um, she is rooting the entiretime.
Mm-hmm.
For the Broncos against her bestfriend, friend was doing it.
Stop.
(09:13):
That's not why.
You didn't even like Tim Tebow.
Well, yeah.
Okay.
Lemme, you didn't even watchfootball.
I'm gonna, yep, you're right.
I'm gonna let you tell thestory.
That's fine.
I did root for them the wholetime she did.
And so I have serious angerissues.
She does.
Overtime comes and I said, okay,bitch, enough.
(09:37):
This is serious.
Fourth, uh, the overtime startsand she goes, it's not like he's
gonna throw a touchdown to endthe game.
And I said, he could bitch.
He could.
She's like, no they're not.
No, he is not.
I said he could.
She goes, I hope he does.
And sure as shit, he throws abomb.
(10:03):
Steelers loose.
Okay.
Are you done with your side ofthe story?
No.
'cause I kicked your ass outnight.
There's always Yes, you did.
Said you get the fuck outta myhouse.
You motherfucking bitch assbitch.
Fuck that shit.
That's what I was thinking in myhead the whole time.
I wanted to choke you.
Oh, well, should have choke.
Good.
Let's hear your story.
Then we went to Hooligan's amonth or two later, or, oh, that
(10:26):
was recent.
A couple weeks ago.
Mm-hmm.
Or something.
Mm-hmm.
And they were replaying thegame.
I said, look.
Look, the Steelers and Tim, TimTebow.
Huh.
So that's a fun game to watchthe real story.
Yeah.
Okay.
Give it to us.
All that is true except, but I,a thousand percent here it is.
(10:50):
Didn't think it all.
January 8th, my baby's birthday,my baby.
Okay.
January 8th, 2012.
13 years ago.
All right.
And she's still bitching aboutand it still hurts.
So I didn't expect at all, Ithink Tim Tebow, that was his
(11:10):
first year being a quarterbackwith the NFL or something, that
they would be, praise Jesus,that they would beat Pittsburgh
Steelers.
What in the world would you eventhink of that?
So I was just messing with her'cause I didn't think they went.
And then when they won, I waslike, oh shit.
Shit.
And then I got kicked out.
And then you got banned fromever?
(11:30):
Yes.
Watching another football game Iknow in my house.
I know, dude, that's a littlebit too much.
I'm going to be honest with you.
Okay.
Didn't think were didn't want meto be honest.
I honestly didn't care who won.
No fucking shit.
That's why it pissed me all sobad.
Who roots against their friendbecause they, I never would do
that to you, but it's fun.
(11:50):
It's only bad if you lose.
So here's the karma that you gotfor that.
Yeah.
I fucking know Karma Karma's.
Let's talk about it.
Sip it up, bitch.
Uh, it was a Super Bowl though.
You're rude.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck.
That's the thing.
Actually, it was Scott.
Oh.
I was behind him pushing processa lot of money.
I was pushing him.
(12:11):
It was the Cols.
No.
Yes.
Giants.
Patriot.
Oh yeah.
No, but was that Peyton Manny?
That was, it was Peyton thatbeat us.
Peyton Manning was thequarterback and he beat us,
whoever he, I thought it waswith the Cols.
Anyway, it was years and yearsago.
My god, I can't remember becausehe har HARs on shit, so we gotta
(12:32):
talk about it.
I can't even remember, to behonest, honest with you.
Anyway, it was, I thought it wasthe Giants, Patriots, and I
thought it was not Peyton.
I thought it was Eli Manning wasthe quarterback.
Shit.
I don't know.
I'm pretty sure.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure it wasthat.
It was the Super Bowl and Markfor sure thought he was gonna
win the Patriots win.
(12:52):
So, um, we put a bet, whoeverwon the loser would have to take
us to Miami to WA and stay in ahotel and go to an NFL game,
Miami against the Patriotsbecause guaranteed Miami always
plays one game at home in Miamiagainst the Patriots.
(13:14):
And one game in New England,which we weren't flying to New
England.
Yeah.
In that fucking cold.
Thank God they didn't bet onthat.
Right?
Thank God we didn't go to that.
So of course we lost thePatriots lost.
So Mark goes in the garage.
Cries.
Cries.
So he was good though.
He didn't kick us out.
(13:34):
No.
'cause he's not rude.
We left, we were smart.
We were like, catch y'all lateron.
So we ended side up having totake these assholes.
Yes to Miami.
Stay in a hotel, pay for thegame.
Fun, dude.
It was fun.
First of all, that was, and thenwe had Gabby and Brina and they
were little.
Yes.
And we dressed like the Patriot.
(13:55):
Y'all dressed like, um, jackassDolphins.
The dolphins.
Oh, I'm, wow, you're rude.
Just kidding.
And the dolphins.
I love the dolphins.
I'm just kidding.
And we, um, yeah, we sattogether in the stadium.
Okay.
So, but I got, I got anotherstory for you too, about the
same football game.
Well, again, this was a littlebit of payback.
How much payback do we need?
(14:16):
It's been two years.
A lot.
That was heart crushing.
Calm down.
It wasn't heart crushing whenthe Patriots lost to the nanny.
No.
That made me giggle like amother.
See, and you know how many timesI've been over here and y'all
say, eh, Brady, I hope theylose.
I hope he breaks his, I hope heretired, but we loved him when
he went to the bus.
All of a sudden y'all were fans.
(14:37):
Why?
Because the Dolphins and thePatriots are in the same
division.
Okay.
They're rivals.
Okay.
So they're not with the box, buty said you hated, uh, Brady.
Oh, no.
We love Brady.
Oh, now?
Mm-hmm.
Soon as he, they've always lovedBrady.
I went to as he went to theBucks.
No, of course, course you would.
Took him, steal him.
Of course he took him.
But when he was playing for thePatriots, y'all hated him.
(14:58):
Soon he got with the bus.
Yes.
They loved him.
They wanted to go see him.
We hated you and Mark.
You probably still do onlyduring football season?
No.
'cause you guys don't even givea shit about the Patriots
anymore.
Yeah, I'm over it.
Well, I, we watched some, butit's just like, you know, with
the stress, like I can't imaginebeing family to these people in
the N nfl.
Oh my God.
(15:19):
Because the stress was gettingtoo much.
Mark finally had to say, I saidI was going through rage.
That's why finally I've gottento the point at this.
It's taken me a little while.
Not that I don't still want topunch a TV or throw something at
it.
Yeah.
It's too stressful.
I've gotten better with it.
One, I just don't invite anybodythat's against the Steelers
(15:39):
over.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Number one.
Mm-hmm.
Um, two, I definitely drinkduring the game.
She definitely does.
That way I can just like relaxand be loud.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And I can scream at the tv.
And the people, but afterwards,I'm okay in there.
Game's over.
I'm like, huh, that's what it's,I'm kind of used to this 50 50
(16:04):
game.
Yes, but also you're leaving outthat Scott would text me all the
time about how the Patriots aregonna lose.
That's why I don't like peoplelike that.
Okay.
You husband?
I don't like my husband.
It's been a proven fact when itcomes to that.
Well, he bets against my team.
When we're in Vegas.
Oh, okay.
So we'll talk about that in aminute.
I'm the asshole.
(16:24):
But that's your also No, youboth are in the muck dog house.
Okay.
Woohoo.
So when we were at the game,Miami and Patriots, mark and
Mark took Scott to go to thebathroom or look at something.
I don't remember what, no, Ithink they went to look.
No, they went, it was when wewere first walking in, well,
(16:45):
where were we?
We didn't go.
We didn't do, they went back outto go walk to the merchandise.
Mm-hmm.
That's what Scott said.
He's a lie so Well, I was dumbwith Mark.
Mark takes Scott.
Well, he thought he was hisfriend.
Oh yes.
I forgot we were going to hisfriends, my back.
Okay.
So Mark takes Scott for a walkwherever they were going.
(17:06):
We stayed in the stadium.
Yep.
With the girls.
Mark comes back and he said,you're never gonna believe this
shit.
And I said, what?
He said, I almost just got in afight.
And I'm like, yeah, right.
Why?
And he, I said, will you being adick?
He said, of course he does.
No, he walks down this long likeI think they were Dolphin alley.
(17:28):
Dolphin alley.
Is that what it's called?
Dolphin?
Something like that.
Well, yeah, they call itsomething like that.
All the dolphins and Scott'swalking with him.
Sorry, I gotta messed with myhand.
And he is getting.
Tortured by all these dolphinsas he's walking by.
I do.
That's what they're doing to himand they keep, tell him how
Patriot sucks and Grady sucksdoing that.
Mark's like I got through it.
I didn't care.
(17:49):
Whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
I went into the bathroom andsome guy like bumped him hard.
Right.
And he He said something.
Yeah.
He said something to him aboutthe Patriots.
What a piece of shit he is forliking the Patriots or whatever.
Mark's.
Like I couldn't let that go.
He shook feet on him.
Yeah.
So they got into an argument.
I guess Scott got him out ofthere or whatever, and I was
(18:10):
like, first of all, then it mademe think, are we even safe at a
game?
No, I got my daughter here.
Like, we're just trying to havefun.
I don't care.
In Miami, no motherfucking shitcould go down.
Yeah.
So Scott, um, yeah, put my manin a situation.
In a dangerous situation.
Yeah.
No, not your daughter though.
No, just my man.
Just smart.
Mark's back then.
(18:30):
I mean, not now.
Why then?
Not now, bitch.
Well, so he's skinny now.
He's scro.
He baby, he's skinny.
You know, back then Mark was.
He could handle his himself.
Yeah.
Scott wasn't really concernedabout Mark getting his ass
whooped.
He was more worried about Mark.
Yeah.
Whooping somebody's ass and themgoing to jail together.
Yes.
That's what Scott was.
Yeah.
Probably like, come on bro, it'sall good.
(18:50):
Let's go.
We don't wanna spend mark'slike, why did he, why did you
take me through that?
And Scott just like, I don'tthink he thought, thought, he
think that, I don't think he,first of Scott thought that shit
was funny.
I don't think he knew thatreaction was gonna come to, what
did he think?
Listen, he should have known,because I went.
To a Dolphins game with all thekids and Scott.
(19:12):
Okay.
Okay.
And it was end of the season.
Dolphins didn't even have achance of getting in the
playoffs, but we went, I forget,um, it was, it was Miami
Dolphins.
Baltimore Ravens, okay.
In Miami.
So, I mean, I can't standRavens.
(19:32):
Yeah.
So what do you think?
I go as, do I go in dolphingear?
No.
Hell no.
I go in Pittsburgh Steeler gear.
She's, she's an instigator.
I am.
I don't give a shit.
And sure enough people gotta jawthat jaw.
Scott was like, you're trying toget me in a fight.
You're just, you're itching toget me to beat somebody's ass.
I'm like, it's not my fault.
(19:54):
I like, I can wear whateverJersey want.
Yeah, you should be able to.
But people were wearing jetsjerseys and I mean, I learned
you can't do that when I went toMiami.
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, the oneyear, how about when I took
Nathan and Shane, my sweet babyI know.
And he was 13.
13 years old.
Both.
This is why won't let peopletake my kids nowhere, especially
(20:14):
me.
And it was me and Kim, twowomen.
Mm-hmm.
And two young boys.
And we went to the JacksonvilleJaguars game.
Now mind you, I'm gonna tell yousomething.
All fans are assholes.
They really are In their ownstadium.
Yeah.
Okay.
They really are.
(20:35):
But there is a special place inhell for these Jaguar fans.
Okay.
Because they're pussies, they'rebitches, okay.
Not all Jaguar fans.
Okay.
Well, Shane and Nathan areJaguar fans, okay?
And I can say that.
Okay?
Okay.
Because I took them there.
All right.
And I'm pissed.
(20:56):
So until somebody proves mewrong that they're not, she's
mad, she'll keep it going.
But what man?
Okay.
First of all, I got a big mouthvie.
I mean, come on now.
No, really?
But I was being controlled.
I was good.
Steelers were losing back then.
This is when the Steelers andJaguars used to be in the same
(21:18):
division and it mattered in thedivision.
Okay.
So it's when the Jaguars justcame out.
You know, it just came.
So anyway, so Jacksonville waswinning.
There's no chance of theSteelers to come back.
We had gotten our ass wiped fromone end of the field to the
next, every quarter.
(21:40):
It's the very end.
Okay.
At this point, might as wellhave some fun, right?
I had listened for three, well,two hours straight.
Their stupid chant when theywould get a first down, they'd
go move them.
Change, move, then change, movethem.
Change.
Well, what do you think?
You're in there.
(22:01):
Fuck you.
Okay.
You just get so angry.
It it, it would be like metaking the terrible towel and
just sw it right in your facethe whole time.
Well, it's gonna annoy you aftera while we Yeah, but it ain't
right.
That annoy me.
But not if it's your, if it's adifferent team, it's just,
that's, it's absolutely gonna.
So, but I'm losing.
(22:22):
I know, but So you just want tokeep digging it and digging it.
So you, you should've told thewhole stadium not to fucking say
it.
No.
What I did was the grown adultwoman that I am, I like to hear
what this, I waited mm-hmm.
Until we ran the ball and movedit one yard and I stood up and
(22:43):
went, move them.
Change, move them, change, movethem.
Change.
My poor baby was there.
No Jaguars fans did not likethat shit.
Boy.
Next thing I know, I got a fullbottle of water pelted to the
back of me.
Now them are my feisty days.
Okay.
When she was younger?
Yeah.
I mean you're talking 20, 24years ago, or 34.
(23:05):
So they were 30, 20 years ago.
Mm-hmm.
Dude, I was in my prime.
I was a fighter back then, boy.
And I was like, come on.
Who did it?
Let's go.
It was bad, ugly, bad.
And then I had to compose myselfbecause I realized that I'm at a
(23:26):
football game with my baby.
I didn't give a shit with mybaby.
Oh, I'm worried about your baby.
And at the time, my baby's bestfriend.
Okay.
I wasn't worried about your ass.
Yeah.
And so, and my poor sister.
And I'm like, okay, I gotta getit together.
'cause just because I'm afighter Yeah.
(23:46):
Don't mean the rest of thesepeople got my back.
It's a long dress all way down.
So what pissed me off the most?
Okay.
I could take the water bottle tothe back.
Oh no.
That would piss me off the mostI could deal with it talking, I
wouldn't care.
But as they're going out,because they're such baby back,
bitches and losers.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, winners.
(24:07):
Sore winners, Uhhuh, as they'regoing down the thing, they start
calling Shane and Nathantraitors term coats.
'cause they're wearing theirJaguar shit and they're hanging
out with you and they're withwhat the, I mean, you act like
they little kids.
Calm down.
Dude, I wish they're lucky.
That wasn't Zach.
Zach at 13.
Zach would've beat the shit out.
(24:28):
An old ass man.
But yeah, that was my fun.
Why do I like football?
I don't know.
The hell is happening.
I know because I'm a fighter.
Yeah.
I'm a little, I'm a survivor.
I'm love.
She's the fighter.
Yep, yep, yep.
That's what it's, I gotta catchup.
That's what I know.
You're slow.
You got another one coming.
You better chug it.
(24:48):
This ain't my favorite becauseyou know what the next drink is?
What?
What is this one again?
Hurricane.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
In honor of college game day,which starts this week.
Not a big fan of it this week.
Well, last night technically.
So I should tell Zach Scott tobring you your next one in honor
of me.
No, I'm gonna drink it.
You know what the next one'scalled?
What?
(25:09):
Fat hooker.
Why?
Where, why?
I don't know.
We just have, it's just a normaldrinks.
What do you want it to be?
Well, this hurricane's fine.
The name of it.
The name.
It's the name that bothers you.
I think it's a great name.
Fat Bitch, Noah.
What was it?
Fat Hooker.
(25:29):
Wow.
Wow.
Rude Fat hooker.
All right, well it reminds me ofthat sign Fat Hooker.
Remember on the Palm Coast whenthey changed all the sign it
said a bunch of fat hookersaround the corner.
Yes.
Or whatever it says.
Horse turn here or some shit.
Yes.
Fat horse.
It was funny.
Yeah, that's good shit.
So that was funny though.
Yeah.
(25:50):
Anyway.
Oh my god.
It's been a long week.
It's a holiday weekend.
Thank God I get the day off andpaid Monday.
Y Sorry, I'm putting in ourdrink order real quick.
I thought you'd catch me sayingthat.
You don't even know what I said.
No, bitch.
I just said it's a holidayweekend.
I'm glad.
'cause I get a three day weekendand Monday I get paid for it.
(26:12):
Y'all.
I know what that was.
I know what that was.
Yeah.
She's paying me.
Little does she know we stoppedpaying holiday pay.
It started today.
Labor Day means that you don'tget paid on labor.
That's right.
Bullshit.
Yep.
Sneak my time, huh?
So what do you have planned forthis weekend?
(26:34):
Mm mm Nothing.
It's supposed to rain allweekend.
I know this is the day I don'thave a pool, so I'm screwed that
way.
Can't go.
Um, spend the weekend at aresort because it's supposed to
rain all weekend.
It's almost a waste of money toI know, but it's so annoying.
I know.
'cause I love a pool and adrink.
A pool and a drink.
(26:54):
I wish we could rent, rent ahouse for just the day.
We just want your pool for.
Yeah.
I mean, or you pay know.
We know any money this bitchsaid or you pay.
Yeah.
We don't know no one with pools.
Well, we do, but they don't wantus over.
We, we'd, uh, we don't party ourwelcome away.
(27:16):
What is it called?
Yeah.
What's it called when you Idon't stayed overstated.
Our welcome.
Yes.
That is rude.
I'm just saying it must be, youknow what they say?
Hmm.
People in fish.
Are the same after three days,they both start to stink
stinking.
Well, I just need three days.
I'll leave after that.
That's what I'm saying.
(27:36):
I just need a date.
I just one day actually.
Damn.
And I got some good floaties,you know.
Good fat girl.
Floaties.
Yeah, fat girl.
Floaty.
Remember that?
I got the big old flamingo.
I got a llama.
'cause of my neck is like allama.
Like what the hell?
That's my nickname.
Yeah.
So I don't, I mean, that's it.
(27:56):
And not only that, my plans areyour plans.
So what?
What do what?
Oh, could you're coming to helpclean out the garage?
Well, I'm, I got plans that, no,that's the plan.
You said it.
I have it on film.
Well, I thought that's bullshit.
I'm done with this friendship.
Oh, me too.
But guess what?
What?
Next weekend's?
My birthday weekend.
Oh, cheers, bitch.
(28:18):
Where are we going for yourbirthday?
Oh, that's the question of theday.
Well, what have we done in thepast for your birthday?
Told.
Remember that time we had thatparty?
It's always Labor Day weekend.
I know.
And we're always, I love thatsomebody wasn't that fun.
Yes.
And you know what's coming out?
Fucking too in honor of Survivorcoming out.
We should do that.
Yes.
I loved it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Even though you were sofrustrated'cause you were like
(28:40):
the announcer and all the drunkswouldn't listen.
Oh.
But it was fine always that way.
I liked it.
I know, but I, I liked it.
I need to hire Jeff Probes to beYeah, yeah.
Come one time do a survivorparty.
True.
Survivor Party's fun.
So I told Mark.
Last week or the week beforewhen you told me, I said, so
April's thinking about taking meaway for my week, for my
(29:02):
birthday weekend.
I'm still thinking about it.
And he looked at me and he said,she is.
I said, yeah, but she said, wemight have to take you and
Scott, but yeah, I vote againstit.
You're all beyond.
And Mark said, you're so rude.
At least April loves herhusband.
I said, I love you.
I love you to stay home.
I'm just thinking it's the onlyway I can spend the money, his
money, and hey, we're trying tosave money.
(29:24):
If we don't take two extras,we're saving money.
That's how I see it.
Well, because I say the samebecause they cost me more in
alcohol.
That's what I'm saying.
I mean, I know we look like thealcoholic.
There are alcoholic and we gotno proof.
Yes, but they are not only that,Scott is a high dollar hoe.
Yes.
Sorry.
He's high dollar hoe when itcomes to food too.
(29:45):
He wants best of the best of thebest of the best.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Like dude.
We're going to McDonald's.
No, we got the dollar menu allday long.
Shoot.
So Scott would cost us even moremoney.
But anyway, mark said, um, aftera few minutes, I guess he, he
thought about it, sat in, he'slike, are you serious?
She said, I said, that's whatshe told me.
(30:06):
He said, um.
She text her, call me about yourbirthday to see what I have
planned.
I said, well, guess what?
Because I know what he hasplanned.
I said, what do you haveplanned?
He said, I don't know you.
I said, yeah, that's whatevershe has planned.
That's what my friends doing.
Let me text his ass right now.
And say, say, what are we doing?
He's gonna know you're with me.
What's the plan for Cindy'sbirthday?
(30:27):
He don't know that we're in themiddle of ing.
He'll probably think you'redone.
Yeah.
Then he is gonna call.
I know.
That's gonna be funny.
He is gonna be like, you'redone.
Yeah, you're done.
You wanna come home?
Nope.
Let's see if he responds.
What's the plan?
Oh shit.
For Cindy's birthday weekend, Bday.
(30:48):
My birthday's on Friday, sohere's what I like.
He's gonna text back and saywhatever the fuck you're
planning.
Or he ain't gonna text back atall, or he won't, he's gonna
wait till I get home and belike, April asked me.
I don't know.
I know.
Or he'll reply.
Um, Cindy said you were takingher away.
Yeah.
I'm be like, okay, you tell meIng, that's what I want to
reply.
(31:09):
Bitch checked off.
Bye bitch.
Yeah.
Anyway, so we got a lot ofthings coming up soon.
We do.
Yeah.
I've got.
I was gonna tell you the otherfootball story, it just hit me.
What other football story?
My fucking husband, dude.
Blaming her husband again.
Lemme tell you something.
Okay.
We go to Vegas.
(31:30):
Okay?
We have been going for the pastsix years, right?
Football?
Yeah.
October.
Oh, October, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which anybody's upset about it.
Blame my brother-in-law, Paul.
We blame him for everything.
It's fine.
He's the one who took us thefirst time.
So anyway.
Um.
Every, every time we go toVegas, I had to threaten his
(31:50):
life last time because he likesto bet on the Steelers to win
now.
So it's good.
No, it's not.
Why?
Because whatever he bets on,okay, loses the opposite
happens.
You see what I'm saying?
He's trying to be supportive.
(32:11):
So all what I need to do, Ifigured it out this year.
I'm gonna counter his by double.
That way I get his money back.
Plus, good idea.
Right?
Good idea.
So he says the, the last time wewent, he's like, it's a sure
thing.
It was the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Okay.
Were playing, I believe it wasthe Buffalo Bills.
(32:35):
No, couldn't have been thebills.
'cause they were good at thattime.
Cleveland Browns, that's what itwas.
Cleveland Browns.
Then it's just your thing.
You would think.
Should have been, they werefavored by like 21 points, not
Pittsburgh, Cleveland.
Oh.
And Scott's like, there's nofricking way that Cleveland's
(32:56):
gonna cover that spread.
So I'm definitely takingPittsburgh.
Okay.
I begged him Do it.
Please.
Because I.
Don't want them.
I'm not worried about the money.
Fuck you and your little$150.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Unless it's a million or I don'tcare.
10,000.
(33:16):
Mm-hmm.
Forget it.
Okay.
I'm greedy.
I want the win.
Oh, gotcha.
Not the money.
I need the win.
All right.
No, he said it's a sure thing,babe.
I said okay.
He said, I'm gonna bet on mydolphins too, to show you how.
Do it.
(33:37):
He bet on his dolphins.
They both lost.
Oh, Scott, why?
Well, he tried.
He tried to support you now?
In his honor.
In his, in his honor.
In his honor.
I don't think that's in theword.
In his what?
In his defense.
Defense.
In his honor.
In his, on the hell.
(33:58):
I'm not even drunk yet.
Let me drink up.
'cause you're saying honor I Noketchup.
Hold on.
Um, in his defense.
Yeah.
I could understand the bet.
Okay.
But I can't do, I It's, it'slike you said earlier, he used
to text you and I used to tell Iwhat I can't stand is a Oh yeah.
A gloat before the game happens.
(34:20):
Mm-hmm.
You're gonna sit there and talk.
That's your man.
Thank you.
Just so you know.
Thank you God.
Dangit talk.
All that shit.
Shit talking.
Then he go find out.
Fuck around.
Find out.
Well, we found out a few times.
So how do I get him out of this?
Out of what?
Because we're getting ready togo to Vegas again this October.
(34:40):
So you don't want him to go?
You want me to go?
That's what I heard.
That's what I heard.
That's what I heard.
I agree.
Let's think about it.
How do I get, how do I swap himout for Cindy?
Yeah.
Hmm.
There's no way.
No, it's not possible.
So how do I get'em to not gambleagainst my Steelers?
Against or for, or four.
(35:01):
I don't give a shit eitherdecide.
You say, don't gamble.
We're not gambling on, on teamsthis year.
I, I don't know that that'sgonna work.
But you can do it without himknowing.
Silent LeBron?
Yes.
I'm not losing any more money toanymore games or stress.
I, we decided this year ago, wecan't do it no more.
(35:22):
Oh, it, it's too stressful.
Like it, it's, you act like it.
It's your, um, family membersout there, babies out there.
I can't imagine the stress afteryears of the Patriots.
And I'd be cursing'em.
Oh boy, I can't do it no more.
And not only that, Imaginetbeing the family member of'em.
And then you gotta deal with thefact that they just got traded.
I just spent thousands andthousands of dollars on gear.
(35:43):
That's true.
And they trade and they tradedyour ass.
Yeah.
You know, Barbara.
See, I'd have to jack their assfor that, my kid.
I'd have to be like, youworthless mother.
What the fuck did you get tradedfor?
You shouldn't have been able tobe traded.
Yeah.
I'm just kidding.
Anyway, I was heartbroken whenBrady left the Patriots.
I know, I know.
(36:04):
I would be too.
I couldn't believe it.
Especially for the replacementyou guys got.
Well, I, what was his name?
John Jones?
Or what was his name?
Something like that, wasn't it?
It was, it was.
I think he lasted a year.
I, I think people love to hearwomen talk about football that
know nothing about it.
Yeah.
Like minimal.
We know bitch, but we, I don'tknow enough.
But you know, I'm Mondayquarterback in every game, but I
(36:26):
don't have a fucking clue whattook place.
I don't even know who's on ourteam.
All I know is we got DK Metcalf.
I think I could have just saidthat wrong.
Hey, uh, um, what's that dumbass?
Oh my gosh.
Geez.
I'm just kidding.
He is not a dumb ass.
Um, Gronk is trying to come backgame.
He's my quarterback and I can'teven remember his name.
(36:48):
He's used to play the Green BayPackers.
I don't, how the hell is I now?
I don't know.
The Green Bay Packers.
Oh my God.
How is this possible?
You're you're, you're gone.
I'm blanking.
You're gone.
You drank too much.
I'm drunk.
I'm not drunk.
Cameron's gonna listen to thisand hold on.
Gimme a minute.
Cheer you up, spit you out.
Know So is my brother.
(37:09):
Now my brother's gonna be like,oh shit.
Spit it out.
Spit it out.
Oh, Aaron Rogers got your ass.
God dang that took a minute.
He on the Steelers.
That was a total fucking brain.
He's like 80 years old.
Shut down, calm down.
He is pretty old though.
He is, he is.
He's, I think he's older thanBrady or as old.
(37:30):
Yeah, but to me they're not.
I mean, if you're still playinggood, what's another age?
I mean, it's, it's questionable.
Brady was, I don't know aboutAaron Rogers.
We're about to learn today.
Well, we gonna find out ain'twe?
We're gonna learn today.
So anyway, that weekend we'rejust gonna, I don't know what
we're gonna do, man.
Go to the beach.
Ew.
(37:51):
I don't like the beach.
There's no beach.
What do you mean there's nobeach?
There's a flesh eating bacteria.
Yeah, there is two people died.
I ain't doing it.
I ain't done it.
But two people, but two pe, twopeople in Florida died from
eating oysters, which is weirdto me.
Unless you got some cut in yourmouth.
Well, it's not come out it well.
It's an open wound.
(38:13):
So is this Go, go.
Why does she go?
I mean, it don't make sense.
Okay.
Hold on.
Well, maybe it was two men.
Hold on.
Excuse me.
So it's what I'm just saying.
All right, well, so fuck upFriday.
You know, you swim in the ocean.
Don't always happen to get aflush eating bacteria in there.
(38:39):
Sorry guys.
I don't understand the problem.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't drink and listen to her.
I got those amoebas.
Swim up in your nose, bro.
No, that's hot water though.
No.
Yes.
No, it's when it's warm, pastywater.
Warm, pasty.
I know a couple girls.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Alright.
We're going back to football.
(39:02):
Well, me, geez.
Okay.
Hurry up with that second drink.
No, I don't even hear the icecube going.
I don't either.
I think he is like Uhuh.
They've had enough.
God dang.
He's slow.
Can you text him again?
Yeah.
But there was something else Iwanted to tell you about other
(39:24):
than that with football.
Oh, thank God.
Yeah.
Not about that.
Okay.
No football.
Let me think.
Um, it starts next week, right?
NFL starts next week.
That's what I'm talking about.
See, I know that.
I know.
Why do you know that?
You told me.
Right?
(39:46):
But hey, I sounded smart untilyou fucked it all up.
Uh, well, I mean, isn't thatalways?
Yes, dude.
Dumb dumb.
Until she, oh, do you like it?
Did we say yes?
We did talk.
She's drunk You.
She go.
I need that fat hooker in here.
(40:07):
No, we got some.
You hear?
I said some right?
I, I know what the fuck you arelooking at and saying.
I said I named it after me.
Well, it's actually, it is areal drink.
I didn't create it and make itup.
Oh, you sure?
But I'm thinking we shouldprobably patent one of them.
(40:29):
How can we patent if it wasalready done?
I don't think patent's the wordI'm looking for patent.
Ain't that where you It's yours.
Yeah.
It's where you like, nocopyright.
But we gotta have it as like,like, we'll name it something
than fat hooker.
Fat hookers.
No.
Honest whores.
I don't think that sells nowhores.
(40:50):
Yeah.
Boring, honest, boring people.
No, we're far from that place.
We got a bunch of whore friendsthough.
I You want me to name some?
Yeah, if you want me to behonest.
Okay.
I do think we should start doinga little, um, segment with, um,
(41:17):
some like crazy stories from thenews.
Different things.
Oh, I got some right now.
Yeah.
What?
All right, let's do a littlespeed round of that.
We got, we got what, about 10minutes.
The flesh eating bacteria.
That was one.
And I saw that's in VolusiaCounty and Flagler County.
Yep.
And then, uh, a man got lostand, um, princess Place, the
cops had to go find him.
(41:37):
What?
Yep.
In hear about that.
You better read it.
You better print his place.
Last night they had to go searchfor him in the swamps.
He couldn't find a place for twohours, couldn't find his way out
for two hours.
So they had to go get him.
Where were you going?
That you didn't stay on the pathor right off of the path anyway,
that's, I mean, was he normal?
I mean, like was he drinkinglike us?
(41:59):
It was dark, you know?
That's only way I lose my way.
That's why I think when we goout with Scott and stuff, he's
always made sure when I'mdrinking, he is like, no bitch,
you're here, here with me.
I need that shirt.
He stays, I'm with him.
He stays, um, sober enough to dothat.
(42:19):
I gotta babysit Mark everywherewe go.
I mean, it takes him a lotlonger to get drunk compared to
me.
Oh yeah.
Because he's so like within thefirst professional.
Yeah.
First two minutes.
Yeah.
I'm shit faced, so he is tryingto keep track.
Gotcha.
Well, and then I sober up andthen I'm like, fuck.
Here we go.
Are we're gonna be able to try anew drink online here?
I don't, I don't know that we'regonna have another drink here.
(42:40):
I might have to, uh, I think Ineed to install a bell.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Like, he's my butler.
I thought that was goingsomewhere else.
He gonna fuck me up for thatone.
He, he should be our butlertoday.
I think so too.
Well, I guess we're screwed,sir.
Scotty, thanks a lot Scott, forthe second drink.
(43:01):
Well we were gonna introduce thefat hooker to you, but
unfortunately the fat hooker'sdrinking, I guess.
I guess she hasn't beendelivered.
Yeah, whatever.
Or screwed.
Okay.
We'll have to bring the fathooker on the next show.
Yep.
If we like it.
'cause I still want'em to makeit, I'll have to still introduce
(43:23):
it.
Yeah.
Or I need a second one of this.
'cause I, I got, I got a DDtoday.
That's true.
Yeah.
Who is it?
Car broke down.
What do you mean?
Who is it?
Okay.
As long as you weren't thinkingit was me husband, no.
Bitch.
I might have a newer car, butlast time, last episode.
See, we were talking about thefact that I didn't have a
vehicle just so she got one.
(43:44):
Now I don't have one now.
This bitch ain't gone.
What the hell is going on?
Well, at least the Lord givesone of us.
The Lord giveth.
Take it, Lord giveth and takeit.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's, that seems to bewhat happened.
I'm still, oh yeah.
I gotta introduce handed.
Speaking of witch.
What?
Baby?
Jesus.
Oh, I thought, because everybodyneeds a my hair.
(44:05):
I was like, you look at yourhair, everybody needs a little
Jesus.
You want me to grab Jesus?
Yeah.
Bring little baby Jesus out.
I have to introduce him.
We got this.
Look at how cute he's, he's socute.
Mommy.
Sweet.
That's why she got a newvehicle.
Because the Lord needs Jesus intheir life.
Yep.
(44:25):
Just a little one.
Just a little.
I mean, for me, he's cute.
You know?
I need it probably a lot.
I got one of them at home.
Yeah.
Well, I gave it to Bri.
Lord knows she needs love.
Jesus.
You got that right.
Which that's another thing weneed to talk about on our next
episode.
Jesus.
That's every episode, but um,the school system.
(44:45):
Oh, now that she's a teacher.
Oh yeah, I know some stuff.
There's some bad kids in thisworld.
There are some bad kids in thisworld.
Bad young kids.
But you know what it is?
Starts with the parents, butokay, that's the next episode.
All guys, my kids are great inthe school system, so it's not
just thing she lie like a damnrug.
(45:08):
You lying.
Whatever, dude.
But your kids are good.
So better than mine, whatever.
They're all amazing.
My kids were good in school.
They're still good in school.
Well they, yeah.
They're great kids.
Yours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're we're blessed, both ofus.
You got that right.
They're not, both of us areblessed by Jesus addict.
(45:30):
They're not drug dealers.
They're not alcoholics.
Marina's coming close thoughafter teaching all day.
She's like, I need a glass ofwine.
That's, well, Jesus loved wine.
That's right.
That's why she drank it.
That's right.
Anyway, all right.
Well, all right guys.
Well have a great.
Holiday weekend.
Yeah.
Labor Day weekend.
Yep.
We'll let you know whatcraziness took place, if any.
(45:51):
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Truthfully.
Yep.
This, the, uh, weather here isgonna be shit.
Yeah.
All weekend, unfortunately.
Yeah.
So, um, as we usually say, um,make sure that you like, follow,
subscribe on YouTube becauseit's free.
Listen, I'm not gonna lie whenwe get booming, okay.
(46:13):
I know it's coming.
All right.
Any day.
But we have tons of fans outthere.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Eventually it's gonna end upcosting for a subscription, so
you might as well subscribe nowwhile it's fine.
Yeah, it's true.
I mean, free while it's fine.
Well, it's, hello.
It's fine.
Whatever.
While we're fine.
Well, hey, so anyway, make sureyou like, subscribe, comment,
(46:34):
um, share.
Follow us on TikTok, that'swhere some of our craziness will
be shown.
Yep.
And certain little episodes,sneak peeks of what's coming.
Also, make sure you follow us onInstagram and Facebook.
Um, same thing like follow,share, comment and send us your
thoughts.
Agree.
(46:54):
All right, God bless y'all andhave a happy holiday.
Bye bye.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com