Turtles, Tangents & Too Much Honesty!

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Hilarious Drinks, Turtle Drama, and Fun Games! | If You Want Me to be Honest

Join Cindy and April as they dive into the fun and chaos of their latest podcast episode! They kick off by trying the intriguing Dragon Fruit Lagoon drink, leading to hilarious banter and a thorough discussion on its bizarre texture. The conversation then shifts to a captivating story about a 302-pound loggerhead turtle in Juno Beach, Florida, and its dramatic rescue and rehabilitation. Cindy and April share funny and personal anecdotes, talk about improbable fashion trends, and tackle the nuances of amusement parks, camping, and RV life. The episode wraps up with a lively game of 'Who's Most Likely To?' We guarantee laughter and honest conversations. Don't miss this one!

00:00 Introduction and New Drink

02:56 Turtle Talk: Loggerhead Adventures

13:13 Alec Baldwin Lawsuit Discussion

16:10 Sydney Sweeney and Cancel Culture

25:11 Dragon Fruit and Personal Stories

33:03 Camping Disasters and RV Woes

35:29 Amusement Parks and Seasonal Preferences

37:00 Clubbing and Social Dynamics

40:16 Fashion Trends and Shapewear Struggles

45:27 Family Group Texts and Bathroom Habits

52:55 Most Likely To: Fun and Games

01:03:12 Podcast Wrap-Up and Social Media Plugs

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Hi guys.
Welcome back to If You Want Meto be Honest with Cindy and
April.
I'm April.
I am Cindy.
Um, so stupid.
We wanna start off with thisfancy new drink that Scott got
us.
Well, wrong way.
It's cockies.
Look at that.
Look at that.
Can you see it good?
Okay.
Yeah.
Yep.
We're gonna have to stir it up.

(00:21):
He said though.
Okay, so this is called a dragonfruit lagoon.
Ooh.
Which explains why it looks alittle swampy.
Yeah, it really does.
It does, right.
It looks like there might be agator in the bottom of this
bitch.
I feel like the top half is Antifreeze.

(00:42):
We're about to die and he tryingto kill us.
He trying to kill us slowly.
Him and Mark got a pact.
Remember this episode, people?
Okay.
Okay.
So I shouldn't blow into itbecause I'm not a child.
You are like, it's chocolatemilk is what was said.

(01:03):
See, she can't even keep it inthe cup.
Okay.
That's chunky.
Chunky.
Like me.
Is it stirred?
It's chunky.
Okay.
I gotta stir it like a fuckingadult here.
It's chunky.
Okay.
This is how you stir it.
Seriously.
This is the difference.
This is stirring.
This is blowing.

(01:23):
Well, you know what?
I got the blow, blow thing from.
Jordan does that all the time,so I just started doing it.
Whatcha talking about I can't,Jordan, that's what he does with
his drinks.
I can't sit back.
Tells me.
Yeah, because he's a child.
A giant child.
Mother Chucker.
Sorry, my little, I should havenever told you that part.
What?

(01:44):
That he's a giant.
Some marked out.
Sorry.
That's pretty good.
I thought it was funny.
A little strong.
Me too.
Said she.
She ain't, I think it's funnytoo.
She said she is a child.
But I wonder if these littleblack seedy things are gonna get
in our teeth and we're gonna besmiling on.

(02:05):
That'll be funny.
It's chunky.
Yes, it's muddled.
It's just like the blueberryseed He muddled.
Remember it?
Yes.
It takes a little bit of the,Hey, are these seeds gonna say
that I smoked weed?
No, that's poppy seeds.
These are dragon.
Why does my dragon fruit keepfruiting off?
Because you're too fruity.
Bitch, it jumped out.

(02:28):
It didn't like all your bubbles.
You're trying to make it actlike it's in a hot tub or some
shit.
Okay.
That's not what this is.
Well, blame Jordan.
Okay.
Good job, Jordan.
We appreciate It's pretty good,my friend.
Yes.
How to do things.
This drink is good, but you see,you see the chunky.
How come yours is a lot bettercolor than miney?

(02:50):
I think I got a little moreextra antifreeze.
Girl.
You might've.
All right.
So anyway, um, today we're gonnabe talking about a couple
different things.
We wanna talk about some hottopics that are going on in the
news.
Yep.
About the turtles.
Alec Baldwin.
Mm-hmm.
The jeans commercials or Yeah.

(03:13):
So, um, yeah, so we're gonnastart, um, talking shit is what
we're going be doing.
She talk with some damn people.
Okay.
Even the turtles are gonna getsome, shit, yeah, we're daycare
of the turtles.
Dude, that turtle been, she beenbusy.
She ain't that hurt.
She hoe, hoe.

(03:34):
So if you don't know, um, thereis was a couple months ago, a
giant, it's humongous girl.
300 pounds, 302 or 320.
It was two i it two.
Look at the report.
I think it was two.
I'm gonna have to look at it'cause I've got it up here.
I can, I think it was two.
I think it was, yeah, 302pounds.

(03:58):
That's just, I'm feeling likethat's probably you and me put
together.
Let's just go with that bitch.
Okay, let's not, I'm justsaying, okay.
That, um, that's what I'mfeeling like it is.
Um, Juno Beach, Florida.
Yeah.

(04:18):
And it's a Loggerhead turtle,which I'm gonna be honest, I
gotta tell you, loggerhead, theword Loggerhead instant makes me
think of pooping.
Oh my God.
Well, what the hell did youthink of?
I ain't gonna tell you.
Oh, okay.
Now we've gotta know.
This is, if you want me to behonest, you a man's wiener.

(04:39):
Yeah, loggerhead.
Oh my God.
No.
That, that's what you were gonnathink of.
I go for the disgusting.
You're disgusting.
You sexual.
What the fuck gotta do what igotta do.
I mean, it is what it is.
But anyway.
Let's move on past that.
Loggerhead.
Yeah, but that's what itevidently the type of turtle
that it was.
Okay.
Which I thought it would be asea turtle.

(05:04):
Is a logger a sea?
Well, there's sea turtle, seaturtles.
I don't know.
I mean, don't ask me.
I don't know.
Nothing.
Flat back.
Flat back.
You know them flat, flat rocksthem flatter turtles that are
flatty.
The flatty flats, the flatflatter.
You know, you see them, you'relike, oh, they're like little
frogs.
Why are we trying to be B marinebiologist?
I mean, I could be.
Bitch, you are lucky to be inthe marine industry.

(05:27):
Dude.
I'm lucky to have this job.
You are lucky to clean a poolbitch.
Hey, anyway, I can fixsprinkler, but yeah, I mean,
that's as close as you don't getto the water.
Okay.
Anyway, enough digs.
Um, the point is, is that thisturtle Yep.
Got hit by a boat.

(05:48):
Aw.
Poor thing.
And it took a chunk.
Out of its shell.
Now I can tell you, I can relateto this story'cause my, my
brother would appreciate thisfor sure.
Real quick.
Um, back in the day when we wereyoung, okay, my brother very
much was caring for animals.
Not that he doesn't still, heloves animals, but back then he

(06:10):
was really, really into likefrogs.
And I told you how I used totreat the frogs.
Oh god dang my, he, he's right.
My southern accent does comeout.
Yeah, it's you redneck, but ithappens to with, anyway, so we
found a turtle, a box turtle,like you can't see this way
here.
Big, a big giant box turtle.

(06:32):
Right?
Okay.
And his, he was same thing.
He had a little bit of a chunkout of him.
So we took him back to the houseor the apartment back in the day
and put him in a box and gavehim some grass and stuff like
that.
Man, that thing was dead eatenalive by maggots.
Not that y'all needed to hearthat part.
That's at your house.
Yeah.
Evidently it got all, so wedidn't save the turtle were of

(06:55):
this story.
I'm saying they were gonna sayyou guys were gonna save the
turtle.
Oh no.
That's for another, that's forthese people.
These are real people.
Okay.
These are real people.
These are biologists.
Yeah.
That know what they're doing.
Yeah.
We just gave it food and waterand whatever.
Probably keeping it in the box.
Destroyed it anyway.

(07:16):
Enough animal cruelty for myfamily.
I'll tell you.
So according to this, theanimal, the turtle got hit by a
boat.
Okay.
So people in Palm Beach County,Florida.
Okay.
Okay.
Found it had no, mind you 302pounds.
You know they ain't picking thatbitch up.

(07:36):
Yeah.
Who picked?
So they had to get, uh, allgroup to come out and what are
those called?
Those things?
Sea world that they put peopleon.
Oh, uh, what a list.
A gurney.
Oh, a gurney.
Good god.
Dude, my brain fog is done.
Anyway, so they put the damnturtle on the gurney Okay.

(07:57):
And took it away.
Now let me get this right.
It, it is a sea turtle.
Okay.
I don't know if it's a true,there's different kinds log seed
turtles though.
Okay.
I don't know.
But the, the place that it wentto that took care of it is
called Loggerhead, Marine LifeCenter Veterinary.

(08:18):
Okay.
Okay.
Now, I've said this disclaimerbefore, if you listen to us and
follow us, you'll know we'redumb as shit.
Yeah.
So don't believe every fuckingthing we say or anything.
Yeah.
I mean, really.
I mean, come on.
Yeah.
Keep up.
Keep up people.
Yeah.
All right.
But anyway, back to the story.
You can look this up.
So they took care of it, theynursed it, packed it.

(08:42):
Some cement and some ocean.
Plastered it and plastered themup.
Got I'm ready.
Yeah.
Re carved'em, put'em in thewater at the marine life and
released it back into the ocean.
Okay.
Which is great'cause that's notwhat SeaWorld does.
But anyway, um, so they releasedit back into the ocean.

(09:05):
It's full of eggs.
How do they know?
Okay, so if it's in the ocean.
So they did some CT scans tothis turtle turtle before they
let it go.
Before they let it go.
And they didn't look at the CTscan before they let it go.
I mean, they might have, allright.
I didn't read the full article.
And how did it get ready?
It's getting better and it gotpregnant months.

(09:25):
So I'm wondering to myself, howlong do you think it takes a
turtle to get pregnant?
To get pregnant?
Like how long or to have beforethey, from the time they have
them and then they deliver'em.
My thinking is you a hoe.
But you've been all up in thatmarine biology.
Well, first of all, it was inthe hospital.

(09:45):
That's what I'm saying.
And it got pregnant.
She made them with some otherturtle, man.
Maybe they did.
Maybe they let that happen tojust on purpose, populate the
world.
Well, not, they didn't do it onpurpose.
They're like, get in there.
They're just like, here's a fewturtles in the same tank that
we're healing.
Listen, if I'm healing as awoman, the last thing I want is
some D.

(10:06):
But you know that man, vitaminD, that guy is gonna climb up on
you.
He don't care if he's sick ornot.
Uhuh, he ain't get smacked thefuck off.
I ain't got time for no DI mean,I ain't got time when I'm
feeling good.
Okay.
That's what I'm saying.
So.
Um, this bitch is a hoe, so howthey know?
Oh, so they got a But now it'sout there in the world.

(10:26):
Well we have, so it's gonna havea baby have eggs.
Well it probably laid some damneggs on our beach.
They got them old ladies outthere.
Yeah.
All them Karen's out there getaway from the trap.
Well you know about the p whatare they called us, they stop
redoing the pier because there'sturtle nest.
I know.
They shut that shit down becauseof it.
Yeah.
For like two months.
Isn't that crazy?

(10:46):
Which, who's rent that crane fortwo months to sit there?
City of and I ain't going to saythe city.
The city.
The city.
Wow.
Okay.
And you know who else, sorry.
Kim and Paul.
Them?
Yeah.
'cause they pay taxes in thatcity.
Oh.
Taxpayer.
So appreciate you.
The sea turtles love you.

(11:07):
No, Paul, go Paul, get on it.
Drive it around.
Get some money out of it.
He already made a post aboutthem.
Damn sea turtles.
Aw, poor little sea turtles.
You see how it old they arethough.
Do, do, do do.
I know and we need'em, but I'mgonna be honest with you.
Here it is.
Here's my honest opinion.
Okay, here we go.
Let me get another drink.
You're getting on my nervesalready.
Good.
Drink up.
Matter of fact, you drinkingwith the plastic straw bitch,

(11:30):
don't throw it in the ocean.
That's my feeling.
I would, why would I throw it inthe ocean?
Well, evidently that's where itall ends up and that's why Well,
the scumbag shouldn't bethrowing the trash all over the
place.
How about that?
That's why we went throughcancel culture of get rid of the
straws and then we had to paperstraws up.
Oh, and how about when they madethose cane ones the sugar cane?
Like ones, oh yeah, dude, sorry.

(11:52):
That was me gagging.
That was disgusting.
Yeah.
Like who does that?
Just, can people not be dirty,that's all?
Well, it's not them.
It's people who dump garbagetoo.
Like the garbage companies, youknow?
Well, I'm sorry.
I like the pasta straws,whatever.
Oh, that's what I say.
A few turtles gotta go down.
I'm sorry.

(12:13):
Aw.
Hey.
It is the truth.
I don't agree.
Whatever.
Don't give a shit.
She likes PETA will be comingafter us.
But you know what?
I don't give a shit.
Keto PETA.
Oh.
Said Keto.
Keto.
God.
You try toto Diet.
Go keto bitch.
Say back again.
Well, I'm not gonna drink yourdrink.
I'll take it.
I'm gonna drink it up.
Drink it up.

(12:33):
No, I know.
Really.
I should think about it.
No, but it's good.
It's tasty.
Yeah.
But anyways, yeah.
So that's how I feel about themdamn turtles.
Okay.
I mean, I think it's amazingthat they save the turtles.
I love it.
I, it's great.
Sometimes a few gotta go, youknow?
That's just natural life.
Yeah.
Circle of life.
Yeah.
But this turtle was pregnant andthey let it go and it was a

(12:54):
whore.
Yes.
Just saying, now the daddy's notwith the mommy and the baby.
Most of the time the daddyleaves anyway.
It ain't worth the fuck to beginwith if you're lucky.
Look at the population stats.
True, true dat.
True.
Thank you.
True that.
Okay.
Anyway, so the next thing Iwanted to talk about was the,

(13:16):
um, Alec Baldwin lawsuit.
Another thing we disagree onthat.
Well, this is why we're suchgood friends.
High Five buddy.
Um, first of all, who the fuckdoes he think he is to sue
anybody over that situation?
But, and not only that, I No, Iagree about that.
I hope that so tragic for him.

(13:37):
Why would, would you keep itgoing?
Just let it go?
Well, I, it's so tragic for him.
Well, I'm just being, why?
Because he shot some, like, Icouldn't imagine shooting,
shooting somebody by accident.
Yeah.
And killing them.
So we hope, allegedly I think itwas an accident.
I, it just my opinion.
Truthfully and honestly, um, ishe got away with like yeah.

(14:05):
Got away with a lot tragedy.
Like, I hope that fan, I don'tgive a shit, dude, you shouldn't
be, you shouldn't be able tohave a gun that could possibly
take, but all actors andactresses do that.
Yeah.
I hope it's blanks.
And there's only like three thathave ever been killed because
accidents happen.
I think, you know how they makethe blanks or shit gets done on

(14:26):
purpose.
Well, it could be.
I mean, but it might, it mightnot even be from him.
It could have been somebodyelse.
Oh, sure.
No, but it's the way he reactedabout it that I got a problem
with that he's insecure.
I mean, insincere to me.
Yeah.
Fake ass crocodile tears.
I cried more for the poor ladythat died than his ass did.
For real?
In real.
I've feel bad for her family.

(14:46):
He's fat, he's dumb.
Oh my.
He sucks as a fucking actor.
Oh my word.
That's my truth.
He ain't come on.
And that's my opinion.
Oh, fuck him.
I hope he don't.
Oh my, you know, far as I'mconcerned, I've never been an
Alec Baldwin fan, but you knowwhat?
He ain't never been one of myfans either.

(15:06):
You don't like your right.
What?
You don't know.
You dunno?
Yeah.
I, I don't, I don't know himlike that.
You know?
I know you guys are friends.
Well, we're friends.
We might run in the samecircles.
Yeah.
Okay.
I know a lot of people, I feltbad for the family that happened
to, but I, if it was a trueaccident, I feel bad for him too

(15:27):
because that sucks.
Imagine, I, I, I do agree withthat One thing, I don't feel
sorry for him.
Because I don't think he actedor reacted correctly the way
that needed to get my sympathy.
Yeah, yeah.
Personally, I get that.
I mean, that's just my feeling.
I think that he, he lied aboutso much shit.

(15:48):
He the co like to sit there andact like the cops were trying to
take him down or theprosecutors, he made it about
him when shouldn't have.
Exactly.
I get that.
That, that's just how I feel.
But anyway, enough about AlecBaldwin's dumbass Sorry.
Let's move on to the other thingthat's big in the news right

(16:08):
now.
Okay.
Um, so Sydney Sweeney, which yousaid you don't really know who
she is much.
You've seen her.
She familiar.
She looks familiar.
I might have seen a movie ortwo, but I don't know who she's,
A lot of people know her mainlyfrom the new show that's out
called White Lotus.
Um, it's a really good showactually.
Um, but.

(16:29):
She did a commercial forAmerican Eagle jeans, which let
me just tell you this.
First of all, American Eagle, Igot your back, but I'm gonna
need you to make my size jeans.
Okay?
This is a wide body bitch.
I need hippie, and I don't meanhippie, like I smoke weed.

(16:52):
I need hippie.
Like my hips are big hippiebecause I gave birth.
Well, there you go.
Well, it's just for littleskinny folk.
Share.
Share alike.
Okay.
It's supposed to be foreverybody.
That's what this ad issupposedly about, is to say,
okay, well, a American jeansbrand for all Americans, for all

(17:13):
jeans.
Oh, so jeans, J-E-A-N-S, andGENE.
Oh wow.
Okay.
I know I'm a spelling bitch.
She, you didn't know I was, shewas a spelling bee.
I'm right.
I'm the winner of the spellingbee.
But yeah, so she, so she did acommercial.
She did a commercial andwhatever and because of the way

(17:33):
that they worded it and how sheappeared in it, and because
she's white, blue eyed, blondehair.
Okay.
And a Republican.
Okay.
What's any of that?
Gotta do with the She's fuckingNazi.
What the hell?
You're a Nazi Because white.
That's the GoTo, blue eyes,blonde hair.
Now we gotta take out all.
Yep, yep.

(17:55):
Well there goes half, half myfamily.
Oh yeah.
I mean, come down people.
That's just haters.
So just that's a hundredpercent.
That's the problem with, Iwouldn't cancel culture.
Like, you got time to thinkabout that.
Uh, not when I watch an ad.
Yeah.
I don't look at, I don't at anad and instantly go, okay.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
White guys.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

(18:16):
Oh, only five black guys.
Oh wait, one Mexican racist.
Oh my.
Who got time for that?
Nobody.
Are they bored?
Or I don't count it off and go,oh, that's the right amount.
I don't even think of thatpeople, or, oh, this message
they're giving.
Well, but we would be said thatthat's because we're privileged.
No, because know.
Because even if I saw uh, um,commercials with just all black

(18:40):
are all Yeah.
You don't look at it.
I don't even think of it.
I know, I don't think of it atall.
Me neither.
But that you're racist for it.
Just so you know.
Ire gonna be canceled becausethat's how they feel.
That's weird.
That's liberals.
It's weird when I say that's howthey feel.
That's cancel culture.
Yeah.
That's how they feel.
I don't get it.

(19:00):
I don't think about that stufflike that.
Me neither.
I don't give a shit.
Yeah.
Shoot.
Do you boo I, I mean, make acommercial and if it makes me
laugh, I could tell you this.
Levi Levi supposedly dropped anad an hour ago with Beyonce or
something, or Okay.
Or today, um, with Beyonce init.
Um, I don't give a shit.

(19:22):
Like, I didn't Why they'retalking about that too.
Oh, yeah.
Now people are trying to comparethe two, like, to me it's like
tip or tat bullshit.
Gosh.
Which is crazy to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't, I don't think of shitlike that.
First of all, I don't care.
I don't, I, how I feel aboutAlec Baldwin mm-hmm.
Is how I feel about fuckingBeyonce.
Oh.
She's not a fan of mine either.
So She don't like you neither?
No, she just mad.

(19:43):
'cause I am mad.
It's a little better, but that'sall right.
Um, no.
Yeah.
She, she don't like me much andI, we got beef.
All right.
She don't know we got beef, butshe find, no, I just never been
a fan of hers.
She's gonna see this.
She is, her and Alec are gonnaactually watch this together.
They might message us.
Well, they might get this.

(20:05):
Oh my.
Hi guys.
Cindy would love for you to hither up.
Not me.
Oh my God.
Give a shit.
I need another drink.
Yeah, drink up girl.
I'm here.
You're here.
Continue with to appear.
So anyway, my feelings.
How do you feel about thatsituation?

(20:27):
Where's where?
Cancel culture.
Okay.
Or we cancel things based on,truthfully, a very small
population.
It's dumb.
Who cares?
You got time to think aboutthat.
Get a job, get a life.
That's how I feel.
Love somebody.
Get over the whole footballcontroversy that everybody
freaked out about and all that.

(20:48):
I just, I had my personal viewson that, but I'm not gonna stop
watching football.
Dude.
I'm a diehard Steelers fan.
I don't give a shit.
Know you ain Stopping.
Geez.
No.
No.
I don't think there's any reasonthat I would ever soon as Brady
got off, I'm done.
I know when he's done.
I'm done.
I'm retired.
You're retired.
Officially retired from the NFL?

(21:09):
Well, you know Brady was seenwith Sidney Sweeney.
Okay, good for him.
I they about 50 years differencein age.
What's new in that kind of, Iknow industry, but I mean, he is
looking good for his age.
So if he can get 27-year-oldhey, Hey, hey, hey.
He was 27 and he wanted Yeah,57.
You'd do it.

(21:30):
Well, you though.
Yeah.
Calm down.
I know.
I meant to say 47.
My bad.
My bad.
Yeah.
No, I mean, I would say hi tohim, shake his hand because I
truly love my husband.
Get his autograph.
He's my hall pass.
Well, well that's the rock.
Oh yeah, that's right by theway.

(21:52):
Sorry.
Well, you know, they're, I runin that same inner circle.
Like I said, I put a good wordin for you, girl.
I appreciate donate, don't you?
I got your back.
Um.
Yeah, I can tell you this, it'sstupid.
That's my opinion.
It's stupid as hell.
It's all stupid.
Beyonce good for her.
Her.
Yeah.
I mean, get your money girlcare.
As long as you ain't buying yourshit.

(22:12):
Like eventually y'all gonna getold and ain't ain't gonna make
so much.
Yeah.
So get it.
I don't care.
Shit.
I'm trying to get mine, but Ican tell you the funniest, get
yours'cause I'm trying to getmines.
Damn right.
The funniest commercial thatI've ever seen for a jean
company.
Only I, I guarantee you, youprobably won't remember this.
It was a Levi commercial.
Okay.

(22:33):
I don't know about this stuff.
And it's a guy laying on the bedand I mean we all know those
moments where you put your jeanson you, you got bed Yeah.
Like that to get them on.
'cause we're a little poochedout the Fupa effect or Fuda if
you're a dude or what?
Fat Upper dick area.
Oh.
But anyway, my God, men have ittoo.

(22:53):
All right.
Never.
Okay.
Instead of just a beer belly,otherwise.
Anyway, so the guy's laying onthe bed, okay?
And he's going, he's trying toget it zipped up and slowly but
surely the room is shrinking andshrinking.
Oh no.
And shrinking.

(23:13):
And then a bird flies in hismouth.
What the hell?
I don't ever seen thiscommercial dude.
This is such an old commercial.
I have laughed so hard that itcame literally from my toes.
Oh my.
All the way.
Gosh.
The way up from the depths ofhell was the laugh that I had
that Scott was like looking atme like, what the hell is wrong

(23:34):
with you?
It was funny.
I couldn't stop laughing.
It was so bad.
I cried.
Oh, well, yeah, it was amazing.
Aw, I wish I could see thatcommercial again and have that
same euphoric feeling.
But anyway, so that, watch ourpodcasts, my feeling, oh, I do
on a daily, uh, okay.
Speaking of which, oh, here wego.
I opened up something.
There's a few, couple, a fewpeople that have said that they.

(23:58):
Go to sleep listening to us.
Now I took offense at first.
Now that means let think aboutmeans that we're so calming our
voice.
What the hell?
Yeah.
So, because they usually sleepthen they don't listen to all of
it'cause they fall asleep.
No, then they replay it fromwhere it's at.
Oh, okay.
But they night go to sleep,little to baby.

(24:19):
No, because they're so used tolike, let's say my kids for
example, because they want tohear our voice before they go to
bed.
This, thank you Jesus.
That's what I said.
No.
Um, Alex, excuse me, I got thatcups.
Um, said she likes to put it onwhile she's just laying in bed,
getting ready to go to sleep.
And then because she likeshearing us talk, she feels like

(24:41):
she's in the room with us.
Yeah.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
So anyway, I thought that wasfunny.
She feels like we're puttingher.
Yeah, we are like a little baby.
You can hear that shinglingLingling Ling too.
Right?
I said I.
It's like good shit.
Ice, ice.
Made to go lollipop.
Alright, so that, um, oh, thatis a chunk of chunk.

(25:02):
I told you it's kind of weird.
It's got a strange texture, butgood.
It tastes good.
That's because dragon fruit hasa weird texture.
Matter of fact, just so youknow, I have dragon fruit grow
in my backyard.
Just so you know.
We just spent$300 on two dragonfruits and you've got'em in your
backyard.

(25:22):
Let me, let me just tell you.
Climb that tree bitch.
No, I, okay.
So it's not a tree.
It's almost like a, it looksover almost like a cactus vine.
Oh, okay.
So it's so funny that we'rehaving this today, which I did
not know.
Mm-hmm.
But this morning, mark, as soonas I get up this mama, he says,
babe, come look at this dragonfoot.

(25:43):
I'm like, I you think I wanna gooutside?
I don't give a shit about stuffoutside.
First of all.
First of all, it's hot as fuck.
Yeah.
So he is like, no, come look.
Come look.
So I go out on the back porchand I'm like, oh my God, the
flower on it is this big.
Oh yeah.
He said yesterday it was just aball.
Now it's a flower.
Oh, wow.
And I said, well where's thedragon fruit?
Right.
He said he thinks it comesafter.
We don't know.

(26:03):
We've had this little dragonfruit thing for years.
It's been little, but this yearit's pretty like, it's long
because all the rain would, Itook a picture on Snapchat of
the dragon fruit.
The flower.
It's a flower with a littleflower in it.
Oh, that's where it's gonna comefrom.
It's weird.
Yeah.
It's like a big flower.
And then it's got a littleflower at the bottom inside the
farm.
You know Google's your friend.

(26:24):
You could just Google.
What?
Well, it was early this morning.
I was trying to get to work.
I didn't have time for thatshit.
You shoulda have stopped.
Mark.
Let's look it up.
Let's look it up.
Sure do.
And then tell him, he said hisdragon fruit.
What if it ain't even dragonfruit?
How's he know he is dragonfruit?
'cause he probably ate thedragon fruit and fucking threw
the seeds in there.
Like he grows everything else.
God dang dooms prepper.

(26:45):
I'm gonna appreciate thatthough.
I, when the world ends, just soyou all know, I'll send you the
pictures.
I'm gonna show you what I'mtalking about.
Yeah.
It's serious.
Well, I mean, I do follow you onSnapchat.
I can look at it if you'd like.
It's like open.
I mean, it's that big.
What are you a dude talkingabout his penis?
He wishes big.
It's like that big, the flower.
And it, like, I, I'm thinkingyou're overexaggerating.

(27:07):
That's pretty fucking big.
That's the size of your head.
Mm-hmm.
You got a big ass head.
I know that flower is big.
Oh, okay.
Girl, you thought I was kidding.
Go ahead, show it to theaudience.
Okay.
Okay.
Show'em this.
How you like that.
Okay.
By the way, her number is, I'mjust doesn't show.
Hey.
Doesn't show it.

(27:28):
That's the picture.
But do you see the flower?
And then I did the back of it.
Look how white.
No, that's wild.
I love it.
See, I wasn't kidding.
Beautiful.
That happened this morning.
See the little flower?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not gonna, you weresaying this like that.
It's this big bitch.
Okay.
I promise you, I want you to gohome and put your hands around
it and show it.
It's all, yeah.
I'm gonna put something next toit, next to it to measure so you

(27:48):
can see.
I'm not kidding.
It's humongous.
Mm.
So you're welcome.
Anyway, speaking of dragonfruit, that is my story of the
morning and then all of a suddenScott says, we're having dragon
fruit.
Oh, well maybe this is your day,Lord knows you something.
Does dragon fruit uh, meansomething?
Am I supposed to know somethingabout it?
That happened so much to metoday?

(28:09):
I'll tell you what it means.
It means the bitch you doing thepodcast with is like a dragon we
know.
She's a bitch.
Well, not that my breath isstinky bitch.
Oh no, that's not right.
I meant that I'm a bitch and Ibreathe fire.
Oh, we know.
That is so fucking rude.
Yeah, whatever.
Dumb, dumb.
Read up.

(28:34):
Okay.
Anyway, dumb.
Dumb.
Can't read.
All right, so we're gonna do alittle bit of a fun interaction
to call ourselves out.
Yeah.
We just don't do that every day.
No, we do pretty good.
But we gonna talk about someshit that, um, as we get older,
I'm gonna tell Gabby you call medumb dumb, by the way, that

(28:57):
would that bothered you?
Didn't that?
No, it really didn't.
But I'm gonna tell her'causeit's funny as shit.
She, I know she don't listenanymore, so she won't even know.
Rude.
She won't got our back.
And I, okay.
I'm not gonna explain it.
I called it, I said it.
It is what it is.
Okay.
We're gonna talk about what, soanyway, we're gonna talk about
the fact that we're a bit tooold to tolerate a lot of

(29:20):
bullshit lately.
Oh yeah.
Like the fact that she called mea dragon bitch and so I had to
call her a dumb dumb.
This is how it works.
As you get older, you get inyour, I don't give a fuck era.
Yeah, yeah.
I've been in it for a while.
I'm not gonna lie.
Yeah.
Probably since birth, but it'sokay.
Yeah.
When have you been different?
I, this is what I'm saying.

(29:42):
I've changed in the last year orso.
Could you get tired of shit?
Yeah.
Well, I think, you know, onemoment I kind of feel bad for
men.
What?
Well, ew, because I don't whatthey gotta put up with from us
when we do start hittingmenopause like I'm a bitch.

(30:03):
I feel like Mark's fine.
Okay, let's ask Mark.
God dang, drink up bitch.
What?
Not you.
Oh.
Every time you get on my nerves,on my how you'd be drunk as
hell.
That is why mine is lower thanyours.
Because I'm sweet and you ain'tthat sweet.

(30:23):
Okay.
Anyway.
Might be true.
All right, we're gonna talkabout menopause.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
That's another day.
Well, I mean, we gonna talkabout things that we're supposed
to enjoy in life, but at thisage, well we gotta get rid rid
of our men.
'cause we go through menopause.
This, you gotta get rid of ourmen.

(30:46):
That's I'm So we can relax andvacation.
I think that's the reason whythere's so many lesbians in the
world.
I'm just saying.
Well, I could see that if they,once they turn 50, right?
A lot of them do.
They got kids, A lot of themwhen they're in fifties.
I mean, not that I'm going to,not that there's anything wrong
with it.
Do you will?
But when they turn 50, theychange and Yeah.
And they're like forties andfifties.
There's a lot of women I can seeditching your husband and living

(31:07):
with your best friend.
But not, you're a lesbian, butnot in that way.
Well, you just said it and thankyou.
I'm flattered.
Any knew who?
Okay.
We'll talk about what we aresupposed to enjoy.
Okay?
Okay.
And I mean money, you know.
Well, first on, first on hand.

(31:28):
Can, do you still love, enjoymoney If I had some.
That's what I'm saying, we'retrying to get more.
Yeah, you got that right.
No, it's more like I got to sellmy feet.
Like, I mean, not sell my feet,but the pictures she gonna sell
her feet.
Wait pictures.
Oh, she going to do OnlyFans?
No, I said that.
Is that what you do it?
No, that's the only place to doit.

(31:49):
Oh, I, I mean, where are yougonna sell it at?
The fucking flea market, bitch.
No, I thought you, I got shoesand I got pictures of my feet.
I didn't know if you could justtake a picture and put it online
somewhere and somebody said, oh,that's nice.
Here's 20 bucks.
I love your feet.
Can I jerk off to'em?
Oh, here's 20 bucks.
Okay, well that's what you'regonna do.
Get about feet.
They might not wanna jerk off tomy feet.

(32:10):
They'd like, uh, there's somethat really, like some dirty
shit.
Oh.
I mean, there's a video outcalled Two girls in one Cup, two
Girls.
Don't look it up.
Okay.
I suggest if you've never seenthat, don't look it up.
Okay.
Okay.
Got it.
Anyway, so I can tell you whatwe do.
We're we're supposed to enjoythat.

(32:32):
I definitely do.
And that is talking about somecrazy shit.
But that's been my whole life.
Um, no, like let's talk about,you know, a lot of people like
to go camping.
Mm-hmm.
Or what they call glamping.
Okay.
You're more of a glamp.
Uhhuh for sure.
Gotta have AC or I ain't doingit right.
Or it's gotta be winter.
Right.
And a bed.
A real bed.

(32:53):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I agree.
That's the thing.
Back in the day when we used togo camp, you know?
Yeah.
For Memorial Day weekend and allthat.
When we first started off intents.
Yeah.
No, I can't do it, bitch, Ican't do that again.
Uh, no, no, no.
The sun blazing in that plasticthing in the morning, you're
waking up no matter what.
Yeah.
I mean, many times Scott woke upin the bathroom, shower, this is

(33:16):
true.
Naked and no wallet.
His wallet.
Yeah.
Dude thought he got robbed.
I, you know, I, he might've gotsomething, but it, I was more
worried he might've gottenmm-hmm.
Objectified, taken advantage ofa little bit.
And he don't know.
He could have, it could havebeen Mark, it could have been
Joe.
It could a couple people justsaying you just never know.

(33:37):
Right.
But anyway, um, camping bugs.
Yeah, I don't like it.
I don't like the heat.
So if I have, um, AC and adecent bed mm-hmm.
I'm fine.
Yeah.
Other than that, I ain't going,nah, no.
I'm gonna be honest with you.
Okay.
We've been RVing a lot lately.

(33:58):
Yeah.
Not a big fan of that either,really?
The RV is cool.
I like road trips.
Okay.
But the RV is not ascomfortable.
Wow.
So Chopper, if you're listening,I'm gonna need you to pull that
couch out.
Okay.
And get us a new one.
And get a couple more recliner.
Take one.
Actually, we need like a tableand you put it on there, you
know?
Yeah.

(34:19):
I love the, I love the trip.
Is there a bed?
I love that the, is there a bed?
Bed?
Oh yeah.
There's a big giant bed.
The problem is with the bed.
Kim and I are sleepers.
Oh, we love a bed.
Girl.
I could lay in a fucking bedright now and do this podcast
from a bed.
Oh shit.
You know, we could, yes.
I could.
Like, that's why we're like bedbuddies.
Yes.
Okay.

(34:39):
Bed bugs.
But there you go.
Okay.
We're we bed bitches?
Yeah, we could do that.
Okay.
And just do our podcast from thebed and we'd be good to have a
couple little cocktails.
Mm-hmm.
The rv when you're on the road,you're in the bed and it rocks
you.

(35:00):
Oh na night girl, you gone.
Me and ki we tried, we tried sohard, we'd get up and we're
like, alright, let's go outthere and act like we want to
entertain them and you don't.
And then we'd get uncomfortable.
We're like, fuck it, let's goback in the bed.
So we'd watch something on ourphone.
Girl, we slept probably ninehours out of Oh my, a 12 hour

(35:20):
drive like a baby.
Oh yeah.
So anyway.
Love rv, hate the, uh,uncomfortableness.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Got it.
What about amusement parks foryou?
Those are supposed to besomething that never in the
summer.
Right?
It's, I'm not, I don't like theheat.
So in the winter it's fine withme.
So you would go to, so you know,I'm from grew up teenage times,

(35:47):
um, in Maryland.
Okay.
And we have what's called King'sDominion.
Okay, so anybody listening, youknow what King's Dominion is in
Maryland.
Great time to go is likeSeptember, you know, it's cool.
Kind of Florida.
It's not good to go to, it'slike fall until late.

(36:08):
Yeah.
December, like December 10th,November, February.
You're pretty good.
Yeah.
mid-November.
I mean, Halloween.
We're sweating our asses offhere.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Yeah.
I agree.
I'm not nice.
Oh gosh.
Yeah.
I'm not a big fan of crowdsanymore though.
Yeah.
I mean, we go to all thefestivals and stuff, but I hate

(36:31):
people.
I mean, obviously as Baldwin andBeyonce Yeah.
They know they ain't even donenothing to you.
Well, I mean, in, in my eyesthey have, they have.
Okay.
And if I, if everybody else isallowed to an opinion like they
are allowed to having anasshole.
Oh my goodness.
Okay.
Everyone has it.

(36:51):
So am I.
All right.
Okay.
Um, so I like theme parks.
I don't like the heat, so Yeah.
Me neither.
Me neither.
I'll go during the winter.
What about going clubbing?
Clubbing?
Girl, let's go to the bar.
You know?
You like a good coyote uglynight?
Um, I, yeah, I did have fun witha bunch of, a bunch of us went
there.
That was fun.

(37:11):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I did have fun.
I got in trouble, but I, I hadfun.
Well, I mean, everybody gets introuble when they go to the
club.
It's the best night of my life.
That's right.
That's right.
I did have fun.
Um, uh, I, again, I don't likethe crowds though.
I enjoy it with a bunch ofgirls.
Right, right.
Well, because you're psycho.
Yeah.
And I ain't gotta think aboutit, it's just I've relax and

(37:34):
somebody's hitting on your man.
Yeah.
Who's walking in and how, youknow.
No.
Yeah.
I'm not like that anymore.
I, I'm, I think I'm at that agethat I feel like, um, you know,
if you want'em.
You're stupid.
And, um, if he takes you up onit, he's stupid.
Well, I'm, I'm, he ain'tinterested.

(37:55):
He barely interested in, in you.
Yeah.
He better be interested in me.
He, he obviously is, or he likesto make me an alcoholic.
He's probably to shut us up.
No, he knows.
Drinking makes me laugh.
Yeah.
So he's like, so yeah.
He knows.
As soon as I've had enoughalcohol, you can't stop me from

(38:19):
laughing.
Gotcha.
Like, it, it goes deep.
Well you barely drinking that.
No, I know.
Calm down.
I mean, trust me, it's beenpointed out that you drink it
down a lot faster than me.
Wow.
It's'cause you talk so damnmuch.
Wow.
You're catching up quick.
Now we're even, you might belower than me now.
Damn right.

(38:39):
Got your ass.
So theme parks?
Theme parks are out for us outin, in the summer for sure.
So nine months out of the year,not us, three months we're down.
Yeah.
Let's do this.
Okay.
Okay.
Clubs and bars.
If it's only us girls.
Yeah, yeah, me too.
I'm more comfortable with that.

(39:00):
Yeah.
I do like the ice bar though.
I do like the ice bar'cause it'sso cold in there.
I love it.
I hate that.
I love it.
I hate it.
I could stay in there all day.
You know why I don't like it?
Hot cold.
Hot cold.
Hot cold.
I don't like that.
Oh.
It's like here in the house.
Like I'm comfortable right now.
Okay.
But as soon as I go outside it'shot.

(39:20):
It's hot as Hades.
Mm-hmm.
And walk back in, I'm like, Goddang, it's cold in here.
But it feels good.
Me.
I'm like, oh yeah.
I always say the guy, whoeverinvented ac, ac him and his
family, they, they deserve allthe money in the world.
Oh, I agree.
Oh, I can't stand the heat.
I agree.
I think his name was, um,refrigeration.

(39:42):
Sir.
Refrigeration, that's No, no.
Google it.
I mean, what could it be?
Arnold Cochran, ac.
Oh, dear Jesus.
Don't let her think too hard.
I know, dude.
Smoke will be coming out of thebrain.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, okay, I'm just sayingwhatever.
Or it could be like your tendon,Achilles.

(40:06):
Anyway.
Jesus, God, I hate that laugh.
Help me.
Mm-hmm.
What am I, a fucking dolphinfucking sonar.
Talking back and forth,whatever.
Anyway, um, what about somefashion trends?
Now I can tell you I haveshapewear.
Do you know what that is?
No.
You're boujee.
I'm not.
I wear what I can fit in and Igo home with my life.

(40:28):
I ain't got no shapewear onright now.
Oh, I know what shapewear is,right?
Like gym clothes?
No.
Well, no, I got that on.
That's tight clothes.
Right?
Well.
How hold all that fat in girl.
Okay.
Spanx.
Spanx, okay.
Or skims?
All the housewives.
Wear Spanx.
Yeah.
Don't, well, I mean, I got somejust because you need some

(40:50):
slimming effects.
I have some of them underwear,one pair that go way up to my
boobs.
That's for like when I go tofancy.
Yes.
That's or something.
So, you know, I, but that I wearit and I'm dying.
Yeah.
And I can finally take that offat night.
I itchy, I started sweating init.
I'm like this, I go blow.

(41:12):
Thank God I, yeah.
Puff up.
I have lines cutting in, like Ican't breathe.
Oh, it's terrible.
Anyway, I like it, but I don'tlike it.
Don't, it's a love, love haterelationship.
Yeah.
No, I've got a couple of thingsI shape for I gotta have.
So stretchy and comfortable.
Yeah.
I mean it would be nice to just,if you didn't have the health

(41:34):
issues.
Dude, I'd be big.
I'd be real big.
Like you seen my, you know, butlet's, but let's be my 500 pound
life.
Let's be real.
She thought that he turned, whycan't my crack heads be fat?
I know why.
Why?
It can't be.
It's gotta be the ones that eat.
Why the food?

(41:54):
Why not something else if youcurse?
I stop cursing.
Crack and cocaine don't make youfat, they make you skinny.
I know, but it should be theopposite.
It's nature's ozempic.
No, I'm just, I don't know.
I agree.
I agree.
But you know, they get down'sball, they skinny, they lose
their money, they lose theirspouse's.
I can't, I'm saying, hey, youcan have lipo.

(42:18):
I mean we can eat dude.
It cause more pain.
And I know people that got liplipo and they looked a damn
sane.
I know.
So, no thank you.
I've seen that Mommy makeoverdone.
And you gotta have a lot ofmoney for that if you're not a
celebrity and getting it a true.
Suck the shit out and stuff itup in here and put it in your

(42:39):
butt.
You know, the kind of surgery,like kind of money that play and
they can just take it off andthey won't hurt.
I'll do it to myself, you know,I'll rub myself down.
I ain't scared.
They're like, get the fat.
Yes.
Yeah, I would too.
I know.
Anyway.
Yeah.
So what about low rise?
You wear any kinda low-risejeans?

(43:00):
No, I hate'em.
Why?
Because my granny panties stick.
No.
'cause they're too low.
And it Right where your fat,it's trying to go over but can't
go over.
Yeah.
And then your underwear and I, Idon't wear them little girl
girly thongs.
Yeah.
I don't wear them kindaunderwear.
So it just, it's just horrible.
So you just blow bubbles in yourmilk?

(43:20):
You don't wear them little girl?
I, yes.
I just, um, yeah.
Unless you're wearing a goodlong, I have one, one pair of
jeans like that.
Yeah.
They're very comfortable butthey're just a little bit lower
than I like in the front.
And I'd have to wear, I have towear a thick,'cause chunky girls
wear thick clothes.
A thick, long shirt becauseevery time you sit down your
crack show.
I ain't got time for that.

(43:41):
Well, my crack don't showbecause I wear granny panties.
Right.
But nobody wants to see them forthe loom bitch.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
With flowers on'em and shit.
No, that reminds me of a storythat my sister probably gonna
kill me of a lovely lady.
Why are you always nark out?
Never your family.
I love that family.

(44:02):
She knows what I'm talkingabout.
She's like when she waspregnant.
Oh shit.
I'm just saying, you know, onetime my sister Heidi got in a
fight.
Yeah.
Shocker.
Are you serious?
One of the fights, and she wason top of the girl beating her
up.
Mm-hmm.
And her pants was in the backlower and she was wearing my
underwear.
And you were like, bitch, I saidit out loud, everybody heard it.

(44:26):
I'm like, you're that's myunder, you're a nasty bitch.
Don't bring them back to thehouse.
And she just kept fight, startedlaughing.
I was like, I'm Pi I was pissed.
I was about to fight her.
Well no, Heidi, I'm surprisedshe didn't just take'em off
right there and then beat thegirl's ass.
You're right.
But anyway, anyway, those weregood days.

(44:46):
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
So you wear, um, ever wear highheels, Cindy?
Um, I've wore, um, what's somethings called before?
What's some things called?
Wedges?
Wedges.
I've wore them a couple times.
I only wedge I get is in my buttcrack from my phones.
Exactly.
I hate that.
Um, I wear, I've wore wedges acouple times.

(45:08):
That's it.
I, I've wore high heels a coupletimes in my life, but it is
hideous.
It's horrible.
That's what we gotta talk abouton the podcast.
I'm not, you got me stillthinking about Heidi's ass dude.
That's some shit we gotta talkabout some of them crazy things
with that girl.
Shoot.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Um, I'm not big in group texteither.

(45:30):
We have a group family grouptext going on right now.
'cause you know, I told you myfamily's down.
Mm-hmm.
Um, visiting and there's about13 of us, 14 of us in that one.
There's keeps going off.
Well, mark don't like'em either.
It's annoying.
I mean, I love my family.
It don't bother me.
Dude, it depends on what you'redoing because I, I'm a busy boy.

(45:51):
I mean, if I'm taking a shitwhat you're saying, it's fine.
I'll sit on the toilet andfucking pon and stuff like that.
Who takes her phone?
Well, I can't say that.
You don't take your phone in thebathroom.
Never, never.
I get down to business and I getout.
Well, no, that's most me.
I'm a, a dumping and roll kindof girl.
You know?
That's how I do it.
Squat bad.

(46:11):
I don't take mine.
No, but there's sometimes thatI'm in there and I'm like not in
there before I go in.
I'm like, oh yeah, I wanted tocheck that email.
Yeah, but then what?
Pull it up.
What do you do?
Sit there, put it on the back oftoilet.
Wipe my ass.
Oh, dear God.
Pick up my phone.
Walk out.
Okay.
Wash my hand.
I mean, it's my bathroom.
TMI.

(46:31):
You take the phone in thebathroom with you when you're in
public bathroom.
I don't.
But I don't the phone out and belike, it's in my phone.
Lemme call somebody my, yeah,it's on my purse hanging
somewhere.
I'll talk to my sister and Gabbyon the phone while I'm peeing or
pooping.
I don't give a shit.
Mm.
Sometimes they say, could youmute it?
I'm like, oh, I forgot.

(46:52):
My bad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't care.
I don't do that.
I know, buddy.
I know how you are.
But yeah.
Group texts are annoying.
Yeah.
To me, just because 15 peopleresponding nonstop.
Do you go back and read'em all?
Nah, I do.
No, I scroll up.
I gotta read it.
Read the whole conversation.

(47:12):
Yeah.
Nah, I ain't got time.
I read the last one.
Oh yeah.
No, I You said you're going,okay.
I read the whole thing.
No,'cause I, A lot of timesScott and fucking Paul are in
that group text.
Oh.
So they just go and it's justjibber jabber bullshit.
But it might be funny.
I mean, some of it is, and thenmy brother will throw a fucking
zinger in there too.

(47:32):
And it's a little, you know.
I laugh, I, a lot of times I'lllaugh at what my brother puts in
there, and then I'll fuck withPaul and Scott and not respond
to theirs.
That's fucked up.
I I, I, I don't mind them.
Mark hates'em.
He always says, why am I, hecan't text dude, let's be real.
So that's his problem.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
He doesn't, I mean, he don'tbarely listen to this podcast.

(47:56):
Barely.
No.
He, without how can he?
He, he don't even know how I Hedoes.
He does.
He should.
I'm gonna ask him.
I don't appreciate thenon-support he should be when he
is working around the yard likethat, listening to his wife's
wonderful, beautiful voice.
Lull him to sleep.
Yeah.
Nine, nine.
I tell you, he probably get alot more done listening to this
shit.
No, he probably pissed off.

(48:16):
No.
In the heat he'd probably throwthe headphones and be like,
that's what I'm saying.
I can't listen to that bitch Onemore minute.
She does enough bitching inmorning.
Yeah.
Soon as I get home I'll startbitching.
Oh yeah.
Um, oh, by the way, chunkies aregetting in my, I told you a
little chunk.
Kind of like me, they get, myhome gets in the way everyone's

(48:36):
allowed to.
Um, me and Mark and Brina wentto dinner Saturday night.
Okay?
Okay.
On the way to dinner, Brinasays, let's play a game.
This bitch, this bitch.
So we're like, okay.
She on the housewife and mark'slike a game.
And I'm like, shut up.
We can play a game.
Let's go, let's entertain ourdaughter, our 21-year-old

(48:58):
daughter.
So anyway, so she says, let'ssay, let's go around and say two
or three things we like abouteach other.
I said, fuck me, running.
I know.
I said, she, she set up, wouldyou start a fight when we're
going to death?
And she's like, no, we're justsaying what we like about.
I said, okay.
And Mark's like, here we go.

(49:18):
I'm like, no, let's do it.
And she said, okay.
Um, I'll start with you, mom.
Oh, here we go.
So she says three things shelikes about me and they were
nice.
Yes.
Three good things, right?
Nice.
And then she did her dad.
And we went around and did'emall.
And then she said, okay, nowlet's say, let's say the things
we don't like Yes.
About.

(49:38):
I just punched you in the face.
Did you like that?
So I was like, all right.
Well, just long story short,they both said, and okay, well
if you want me to be honest,it's a little, it's a little
true, but God.
God, thank you.
So this family bro where you'resupposed to have my back.

(49:59):
Not put the knife in the back.
You're negative.
Don't.
That's what she said.
Don't.
Okay.
She said, and Mark said, yeah, Idon't like that.
Either one of you are negative.
Okay.
Well, it's not La Loopsy land.
Okay.
Mr.
Itchy pants.
Right?
I'm sorry.
When you're scratching yourfucking self.
Be positive, buddy.
It's gonna go away today.
Don't worry.

(50:20):
And I was just like.
Okay.
Okay.
But anyway, we have to say threethings.
I got your negative mother.
We said three things we didn'tlike.
And I told Brina one of thethings is when she's in a bad
mood, she takes it out on me.
Mm.
Okay.
And then I told her father thathis reactions, I don't really
appreciate.

(50:42):
I said, because my reactionain't yes.
I said, exactly.
Don't like it.
Negative should be quit beingzone negative.
So anyway.
Yeah.
Tell him no is negative.
Yeah.
Yes.
Is positive.
I wanna live on, you want apositive, right?
You want a positive reactionfrom me.
Yeah.
Then you better say yes.

(51:03):
So I'm leaving him home thisweekend.
Well, I'm positive he's anasshole.
How about that?
I love my friends, whatever.
Anyway, I'm right.
So the other thing I wanted todo is a little, little.
Talk.
Speaking of which games great.
Fuck dude.
But don't worry, girl, we'rescrewed.
This ain't about our feelingsabout each other.

(51:25):
'cause I think the entire worldknows how we feel about each
other.
Right?
Dumb dumb.
Yeah.
Oh, you know, I don't like tolaugh on camera.

(51:45):
Yes.
I must be.
You're so negative.
I was expecting you to say rightdragon breath because I ain't
mean like you.
I don't told you.
You ain't quick What?
Like me.
I know.
I think of it later.

(52:05):
I'm gonna text your ass later.
I know.
Dragon breath.
You're gonna be like, youfucking dragon breath bitch.
And I didn't mean breath anyway.
I was thinking, bitch, I likeyou're a dragon.
Not a dragon breath.
Okay.
But a dragon breathes fire,which kills you.
My words are bitchy.
Okay.
I cried for a minute, but I'mall right.
Don't worry about it.
She'll be all right.

(52:27):
Anyway, that was fun.
So, okay, I'm gonna start.
We we're gonna start thepodcast.
I'm Dragon Breath and I'm dumb,dumb.
Welcome.
Get a dumb, dumb littlelollipop.
I'm gonna make you start doingthat with some lollop.
I'm, I'll wear a dragon hat.
You know.
Okay.
All right.
Anyway, so speaking of the game,okay, let see if you can keep

(52:48):
up.
So who's most likely to, that'swhat this game's called.
No, let's do this shit.
Okay.
Okay.
Alright.
I got a couple things down.
Let's see who's most likely to,okay.

(53:09):
Who's most likely to insult theeach other?
That's me anyway.
So who's most likely to cryduring a commercial?
Me.
Oh, a hundred percent, right?
Yes.
Me definitely.
And me.
Yeah.
You're super, super sensitive.
Yeah.
Wow.
I'm a dragon.

(53:31):
Yeah, I'm just saying.
Okay.
Not that I don't cry duringcommercials.
She has no heart, but it's fine.
Yeah, I've been told that it'scold.
Lifeless whatever.
Fuck off.
How about that?
Oh my.
Who's most likely to fake aphone call to get out of talking
to somebody?
You, God damn right.
It's the first thing I thoughtof.
I'm like a hundred percent.

(53:53):
Hey guys, how are you?
Oh, I haven't talked doing solong.
Damn right.
Um, who's the most likely tostart a diet and quit by dinner?
Me, God.
Damn.
Right.
Because I ain't doing it likeI'm done.
Yeah.
Not that you haven't done it,but I eat a salad for lunch by
dinner.
So it's a diet.
It was a minute diet.
It's a seafood diet.

(54:13):
What I see I eat.
Damn right.
All right.
Who's most likely to forgetwhere they parked?
Me?
I think both of us on know forsure.
Oh, you do?
I do it too.
I do it all time when I'mwalking into stores, I gotta say
the third row, the third row infront of the p in front of the P
16 times, and I still come out,I still look around like.

(54:33):
Where did I park?
Yeah, yeah.
I did it the other day.
You got a ho.
Sometimes Scott.
Scott and I went in to Publixtogether, but we came out
separate.
Oh dude.
I came out, I was like, where amI at?
Huh?
Which aisle are we down?
And I went, I'm like, fuck it,I'm just, I'm gonna go with it.
And I start going and then Ilook over.
Thank God he had the paddleboardin the back of the truck.

(54:56):
Oh, that helps.
And I caught it out the cornerof my eye.
I was like, oh, thank you.
I was way off.
All right.
Well that's a good one.
Okay, so who's most likely tolaugh in a serious situation?
You, God dang.
I did.
I did it the worst time.
Why?
I did at a funeral once, twice,if you want me to be honest.

(55:21):
Well, okay.
I'm gonna tell you a most recentoccurrence, and actually
somebody just brought this up tome.
They told you us, speaking ofwhich last night, shouldn't have
reminded me.
Why?
Well.
Because, um, I'm just gonna goahead and call you out.
Um, my brother, you throwing himunder the bus again?
I know, it's so funny.
Okay.
But we were at a funeral.

(55:42):
Now he knows how I feel.
See?
Mm-hmm.
She loves you.
Um, we were at a funeral and thepriest looked just like Arnold
Schwartzenegger.
So you laughed.
You laughed.
No, I laughed.
'cause my brother said, get,into da chopper.

(56:05):
Dude.
Who does shit like that?
He set you up.
I know, I agree.
Well, he actually said it toBrandon.
Oh.
And then Brandon repeated it tome and dude, I, I had to go.
So Brandon set you up.
Oh my gosh.
I know.
And then I had to act like I wascrying too.
I was like, oh shit.
Lemme cry for a minute.
Take it off.
I mean, it was just sad.
I cried.
I don't mean I faked crying.

(56:27):
That's probably one of thesequestions.
Who's most likely to fake cryingat a funeral?
Oh my gosh.
No one, I would hope any who?
Okay, next.
Thank God she didn't say me.
I thought dumb dumb was gonnaget it for me.
That was it.
You called me dumb.
Dumb.
You cry.
Fake cry at funerals.
All right, so who's most likelyto leave the group chat?

(56:50):
On read?
On read?
That's me.
I feel like have you done thatread and ignored it?
That's what that means.
Oh, no, not respond.
I mean, I would eventuallyrespond.
Yeah, but I might think aboutstuff for a minute.
No, I'll leave that shit.
I've left a group chat when all,all you guys were office girls.

(57:11):
Were you chitchatting?
And I told you I hate fuckinggroup texts too.
Whatever.
Because after a while it's like.
I'm good.
This information is pointless tome anymore.
I'm good.
Um, let's do a couple, justbassy one.
Okay.
Let's see one that, okay.

(57:31):
Who's most likely to start dramaat a family event?
You, that is so rude.
A hundred percent you.
It's always, I'm gonna have toask my brother and sister and,
uh, this is common sense.
This ain't a family event.
This is called a podcast.
Okay.
Okay bitch.
And hopefully I didn't startfamily drama.

(57:52):
You talk about'em enough.
That's true.
It would be me for sure.
I probably would overhearsomething that one of my family
members said, run to my sister.
That's the problem.
They'll like, mm girl, guesswhat that bitch said.
Yeah, it matter of fact, I thinkI've done that.
God dammit.
Me.
You probably did it two daysago.

(58:14):
Probably last weekend.
Oh, I don't know.
I'm just making up a day, whichwas two days ago.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Who's most likely to flirt toget free stuff?
You, Stephanie, for sure.
Stephanie.
But I thought we were talkingabout each other.
We were talking about eachother.
I was just kidding.
I wanted to, Stephanie and I arethe same when it comes to that

(58:35):
stuff.
I've already said on here.
I like free stuff.
Send it on.
Would I flirt for free stuff?
Hell yeah, I would.
I'm like, Hey boo.
You like this flirty face?
I don't even know how to flirtanymore, dude.
And that's what I was just gonnasay.
How do you, how do you flirt?
I don't know.
I couldn't date now.
Nobody got time.
Lemme back my eye.

(58:56):
My contact will pop out.
My flirting is you gonna take meto dinner?
We gonna fight or we gonna fucknext anyway.
Alright.
Who's most likely to spillsomeone's secret?
Me.
No fucking shit, dude.
Me.
Dude, I'm so glad you admittedto that.
I've been meaning to talk toyou.

(59:17):
I was just kidding me.
Alright.
All right.
I like that one.
How about this?
Who's most likely to forget tohit record on the podcast?
You damn.
Or turn the speaker off.
It's the microphone.
Microphone not record.
I'm pretty good at recording.
Not that good.
At the microphone situation?
Yes.
We had to record, re-record.

(59:37):
How many times?
Oh my gosh.
Anyhoo.
Okay.
Who's most likely to go rogueand ignore the show notes?
Me for sure.
Game right?
Homework is annoying is shit.
You know, it takes a lot ofprep.
People don't understand.
I know You think this comesnatural, but wait, wait.
I, I, for me?
Mm-hmm.
The prep is not hard.

(01:00:00):
I could just get on here andjust start.
That's what that ask rambling.
You ignore the fucking shit thatI Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
It's not the prep, it's theafter.
You both have it, just so youknow.
I ain't looking at it.
No.
Ding, ding, Dingly.
I'm a winner.
Okay.
Who is the most likely to make ajoke during a serious moment on

(01:00:23):
here?
Me.
I agree a hundred percent.
'cause I think you don't like, Idon't know what to do.
Seriousness.
Yeah.
You're awkward.
You're like, oh God.
Hi.
Go under here.
Because I cry every drop of adamn dime.
So, okay.
Look, get a fucking pill forthat shit, dude.
I mean, or fucking put a pad onyour eye.
I have to, because you gottachange it.
It's the way I was raised.
My whole family is way worsethan me.

(01:00:45):
With crying or making jokes?
No, with making jokes.
Oh, well, yeah.
I mean, you sometimes you haveto do it just because the
serious things.
I'm the most normal one in myfamily.
Are they listening?
I'm wondering.
I know.
Well, you're thinking, bitch.
Well, come on.
Well.
Who the hell are we comparingyou to?
Like the whole clan.

(01:01:05):
That's what I said.
My whole talking family aboutlike Oh, so we're including
nieces and nephews?
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I, I, I give it toyou.
You're, you're the closest tonormal for sure.

(01:01:25):
I wouldn't call you normal.
No, no, but okay.
Definitely not normal.
I think your nephew is Whichone?
The woman that's working on mydrown better get up on it, bro.
He's doing the best he could.
Okay.
Well you seen his mama.
Just kidding.
I have, I have, I have, I haveseen his mama.
I'm just kidding.
Andrew, she's the closest tonormal too.
She is a little, she's prettynormal.

(01:01:45):
She's a couple steps below me.
See this is the thing.
She always talking shit aboutme, talking shit about my shit.
Me talking shit about shit.
But she ain't talking shit abouther shit.
Okay.
And she got a lot of shit.
Just saying piles of shit.
Y'all going to find out.
Learned.
You gonna learn today?
Learn it today.
All right.
Well we're running a littlelonger than most, so that's

(01:02:08):
pretty much.
That's it.
That was it.
That was the, I'm sure we coulddo a little spier one next time.
Yeah, I like that.
Questions?
Questions?
Can you get us that?
Yeah.
Could you put that into thenotes next time?
Just ask me.
You ain't gonna send me thehomework the day before.
We're gonna do this.
Well, maybe I'd like you to askme some shit every once in a
while.

(01:02:28):
We're asking when you ask.
We're both Lanter.
Okay.
So just April, you do all thework, you know I'm the dumb
dumb.
That's true.
We got this now.
Hey, I give you most the cut.
I don't know what that's true.
I know so far.
You know what we've made offthis$20?
No, I think we were at 30.
Oh, you ain't told me.
Bitch.
You keep it.

(01:02:48):
Yeah, TikTok live.
We getting ready to go doanother TikTok live so we can
make more.
I don't even care.
We get the new, new podcastroom.
Oh, that's coming.
Yeah, it's coming.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Y'all are gonna realize all of asudden we don't have a whole
real studio.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's gonna be better than them.
Well, we're moving on up.
Got that$30.
We're getting a room.

(01:03:09):
Damn right.
Damn right.
Yeah.
All right.
Well anyway, it's about thattime guys.
Thanks.
Have a good weekend.
Thanks for showing up.
And as we always say, make surethat you like, share, follow,
check us out on YouTube.
Um, make sure you listen to uson iHeartRadio, Spotify, and
Apple Podcast.
Those are the main ones, but youcan pretty much find us on

(01:03:31):
almost every podcast outletthere is TikTok.
Follow us on TikTok, Instagramand Facebook for any kind of
little highlights or let youknow when new episodes are
dropping and obviously ourhilarious antics on that.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
Thanks for watching.
Bye guys.
Bye.