May 5, 2025 • 31 mins
Musicians often speak of finding their voice, but for Zoya Zafar, that journey has been both literal and metaphorical. The Orlando-based indie folk artist takes us through her evolution from a shy child who couldn't sing in front of others to a songwriter whose dreamy, atmospheric compositions have drawn comparisons to Mazzy Star and Cat Power.
What makes Zafar's story particularly compelling is how her musical development intertwines with her cultural heritage. Growing up in a creatively encouraging South Asian household defied stereotypical expectations, with her grandmother performing classical ghazal (poetic songs) and family members immersed in various artistic pursuits. Unlike musicians who discovered music through their parents' record collections, Zafar's education came through her own explorations – random compilation CDs, film soundtracks, and the early 2000s indie scene featuring artists like Badly Drawn Boy and Bright Eyes.
The conversation reveals powerful insights about artistic perseverance through life's most challenging moments. After consistently releasing music for years, Zafar experienced a significant hiatus between 2017/2018 and 2024, coinciding with both the pandemic and profound personal tragedy – the deaths of her father and grandmother within months of each other. "For a while it was like, 'Oh, I'm not a real artist if I can't turn my pain into art,'" she reflects, before realizing healing needed to precede creation. Her 2024 album "Some Songs," partially recorded remotely during COVID while dealing with health challenges, represents not just music but a milestone of personal resilience.
Listen to Zafar's latest single "I Don't Love You" at the end of the episode, and discover how her evolution from wordier compositions to more spacious, minimal arrangements reflects the journey of an artist who has learned the power of what remains unsaid. As she hints at experimental future directions, it's clear her artistic journey continues to unfold in fascinating ways.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
colleyc (00:31):
Welcome to another episode of ifitbeyourwill
Podcast Chugging Along Season 5.
Been really fun so far.
We've had some great artists onFrom all parts of the world.
It's amazing how music is souniversal and how the love for
music is always the sameanywhere in the world.
It's amazing how music is souniversal and how the love for
music is always the sameanywhere in the world.
This passion that we have inmusicians and today is no
(00:55):
exception I have Zoya Zafar.
She's coming in from OrlandoFlorida, the southern US, in
from Orlando Florida, thesouthern US, and Zoya's music,
if you haven't heard it, isbeautiful, breezy, indie folk.
You've got tinges of Mazzy Starand Cat Power and just this
(01:18):
lovely intimacy that comes withit.
She's been doing this for awhile, writing music, and we're
going to learn all about ittoday.
So, Zoya, thanks so much fortaking some time in your day and
joining us.
Zoya (01:32):
Yeah, of course.
Thank you so much for having me.
colleyc (01:35):
Oh, it's a real pleasure.
A real pleasure.
I tend to like starting theseoff, zoya, with a little bit
about where you began with music, when it started to become
super important in your life.
Can you bring us back in time abit and paint us that picture
of when music really wasstarting to percolate as
(01:57):
something that you knew you weregoing to be doing for a long
time?
Zoya (02:01):
Yeah, that's a good question I feel like when you
have been doing it for so long.
It's kind of hard to rememberwhen you know, when that
happened.
Um, I mean, I think I've alwaysbeen drawn to it music and even
(02:25):
performing too but I was alwaysa very shy person, and so
performing itself was somethingthat came a little bit later and
it was something thatcompletely freaked me out.
But it was also something that,because it freaked me out, I
was like more intrigued.
You know, I like wanted to doit more like shock therapy, I
(02:45):
guess.
But, um, yeah, thinking back umearly experiences with music, um
, well, I, my grandma, she would, she sang and she would sing um
in south asia they have likethese songs called Ghazal, which
(03:07):
are classical songs that havebeen written by poets and
they're saying by many differentsingers, but she, she used to
sing a lot and I always reallyrespected her and you know she
did music her entire and youknow she did music her entire
life and you know, even like shenever like gave up on it.
(03:32):
Even, you know, as she gotolder, like it was just always
she would have people come overand they would rehearse and
practice.
So I think that definitely, youknow, made me have an early
appreciation.
My dad as well, and I think mydad he wasn't necessarily a
(04:08):
musician but he sang and he alsowas very involved in, like
acting and, you know, modelingand theater and um, also, you
know that was, I think I justcame from a very like family
that was creative and expresseda lot Um, which is, I don't know
, I don't want to say it's notcommon in like South Asian
households, but I mean it's notlike the stereotype, I think,
when people think of um offamilies you know especially
felt, you felt growing up,creativity was, was important,
(04:31):
not only to you, but your familyas well, and they they cherish
that within, within the familyunit.
Yeah, no, it was very likerespected and cherished, and
like my uncle too, he was anarchitect and a design designer.
I lived with him when I wasyounger, so I was just really
exposed to that.
I mean also my grandma also,instead of just being a singer,
(04:52):
she also was a visual artist aswell, and so I just like grew up
around like you know visualarts and music, and it was just
never anything that was.
It was very supported, I guess,very supportive environment for
that.
So I do feel very lucky that Ihad that early kind of
appreciation and respect for it.
colleyc (05:15):
What was the kind of music that you were listening to
like from parents and family?
But then, as you as a teenagergoing in, you know your early um
, you know your, your teenageyears and stuff, what.
What was?
What was the music that wassurrounding you at that time?
Zoya (05:31):
yeah, so as a kid, you know, I don't really think I had
, um, like, my dad listened tosome like frank sinatra and uh,
he had some, you know, but also,but also those experiences were
very early on but I didn'treally grow up with him
(05:52):
throughout, like as a kid and Iwas just with my mom and she
didn't really listen to, like, Iguess, modern Western music
Like I also, I don't know, Ifeel like I didn't really have a
lot of exposure to, like youknow, the typical like bands
from, like even like 60s and 70smusic, like I know a lot of
(06:15):
people sometimes discover itthrough their parents and I
didn't.
I discovered it on my own.
Later I'm as a teen, um, so um,I remember my she like worked
for universal and at her jobthey would sometimes give like
mixed tape, like mixed CDs, likejust kind of songs from like
the eighties and nineties, likeI'm not even sorry, not even
(06:38):
eighties and nineties, but likejust in general like hits.
So like they would even, yeah,compilation, so there would be
like some Elvis, but thenthere'd be like Wilson Phillips
and like other um like BonnieRide and stuff.
So I was like listening tothose compilations a lot.
That was probably like my earlyum.
She sometimes she'd get likerandom cds and stuff and I
(06:59):
remember my first album that Ithat she she gave me was by this
artist called PJ Olsen, who Ididn't really know, but I
listened to that CD so much.
That was probably the only CD Ihad of an artist.
I mean besides compilations andstuff.
(07:23):
I mean besides compilations andstuff.
But then, like as a teen, orobviously, like you know, as a
kid, like I'd hear like top 40smusic, pop, early 2000s, like
that was everywhere, so that wasobviously that was exposed to.
And then, um, as a teen, like Igot more into, like you know,
other like music and like I justdiscovered music online, like
(07:46):
not really into like 60s and 70sfolk and classic rock when I
was in high school, um, and itwas a time too when you know,
people were making cds and likeburning cds and making like, uh,
so I think I just discoveredthings through friends.
Um, I, then I also reallystarted getting into like more
(08:07):
folk music.
I remember um actuallydiscovered some music through
like soundtracks like my unclehe had.
He gave me his ipod and um, ithad the soundtrack for about a
boy.
That was all done by badlydrawn boy and I was like
obsessed with that soundtrack.
So I listened to a lot of badlydrawn boy and I was like wait,
(08:30):
I like this kind of music.
So then I started kind of goingfrom there and I was like maybe
, like I don't know 13 at thetime and I was just trying to.
Then I kind of went through therabbit hole and I discovered
artists like um, like death Cabfor Cutie and Bright Eyes and
right more independent artistsat the time.
colleyc (08:49):
Yeah.
I mean they're pretty big starsnowadays, but when they were
first starting out, they weresuper independent, right yeah?
Zoya (08:57):
definitely um so just, oh yeah, I was just gonna say, just
just think it was just throughdifferent types of media that I
just, you know, found like firstthe vibe and then it, so it was
definitely an exploration.
colleyc (09:11):
I think it was very like authentic, like I just
really like that like youmentioned, we go down that
rabbit hole and then one artistwill bring the other one in and
then the other one in andthere's so many amazing artists
out there and like, how manysongs and how many bands and how
(09:32):
many you know are out there.
It's just amazing how muchwealth that we have of this
creative output.
Um, when did your guitar walkin the door?
So you were going through, youknow, enjoying music, creativity
was a part of who you were.
Music was sparking in you.
When did it start?
(09:53):
Where you were?
Like hey, I want to try it.
Like, what was that connectionand how did that all begin with
your first instrument and yourfirst songwriting experiences?
Zoya (10:04):
with your first instrument and your first songwriting
experiences.
Yeah, I think around like 13 or14, I like before guitar and
like I think I was always likewriting songs in my head, like
just melodies, like since I wasa kid, and then I just, um,
guitar seemed cool, so I wantedto know how to play it and I
(10:26):
remember like I think I I wentto this new school that was just
like brand brand new built andthey were had a guitar.
They started like doing aguitar class and I thought that
was like you know, it was justlike a new thing, like no one,
like no schools, really had that.
So, um, I took a guitar class,like when I was 13 at my school.
So I took a guitar class when Iwas 13 at my school and it was.
(10:48):
I wouldn't say it was a greatexperience, but it was a huge
class of 40 kids, mainly boys,there was three girls and it was
just there were too many kidsin the class and one teacher and
we weren't really learning coolstuff.
But I mean, I guess it did helpme learn like basics.
But I remember, like the summerafter I was just like, but I
(11:10):
didn't like learn any songs thatI like.
So I think just that summerafter I was just like okay, let
me try to like actually learnguitar and, like you know, make
this fun for me and learn thesongs that I like.
And then I think writing songsjust kind of came naturally,
like as soon as I could kind offigure some stuff out like I
(11:33):
wanted to write songs.
So it just like felt like itwas just it worked it worked out
.
colleyc (11:40):
Yeah, yeah.
And do you remember some ofthose first songs were those
first songs on the ep that youput out in 2023?
It was the just yourself-titled like.
Were those some of your firstsongs that you had written?
Zoya (11:55):
yeah, some of those were very early.
I wouldn't say they were likeyeah, they were pretty much
those, that first batch of songs, and I think, um, I was writing
so many songs, like I was justkind of going like crazy, you
know, because I think whensomething's new and it's
exciting, you're yeah, yeah,yeah you know beginner's mind,
(12:16):
you're just going all over theplace, so.
But I guess those are the morerefined um songs that I kind of
like landed on um.
So those were yeah.
So they do have a special placein my heart because I'm like,
oh, this was.
I did my first like open mictoo, when I was like around 15
and 16.
So like immediately afterwriting I was like I want to you
(12:37):
know let's go for it.
colleyc (12:40):
You really went for it.
I mean at 15 too, like wow,yeah, where did?
Like you said at the start toothat you're kind of a shy person
and it it takes a bit of oomphto.
Oh yeah To put yourself in thatvulnerable situation where
there you are here's.
Here's some songs that comefrom my heart that I've penned.
Zoya (13:04):
Yeah.
colleyc (13:05):
How did you manage that Like?
Do you remember?
Like the lead up to it and likehow you managed to push
yourself to go through with it?
Zoya (13:14):
Yeah, yeah.
So it was definitely verynerve-wracking.
I used to throw up beforeplaying in front of people, and
especially these open mics.
I'd have to throw up because Iwas just so anxious.
Um, but I, I think early on inmy life, because I told you I
was kind of drawn to performingbut was so scared of it and I
(13:35):
was like, you know, you know, 10or 11, I did like a musical
theater class in school and itwas the most like.
I remember like they had theywanted everyone to sing like a
song in the beginning and Icould not sing, like I just
couldn't, so that never happened.
And then for like that entireyear, I was just like not like
(13:57):
really, I guess I just neverlike had an opportunity to sing
in the class.
I mean, I was always like putin the back and stuff, which was
fine.
But then we did anotheraudition and they were going to
be really selective for like thenext year and for that one I
did perform.
Finally I was like okay.
And then I just remember myteacher.
(14:18):
She was just like so proud ofme and she's just, she was like
in tears and I think that waslike a big thing of
encouragement.
I'm like, oh, oh, I can kind offace my fears and like, yeah,
and she put me into the programand I was just like, okay, like
maybe this just that feeling ofaccomplishment, like I think,
stuck with me.
So, um, when?
(14:38):
I was story yeah, I know I was.
I literally went from likebeing, like not being able to
say, like anything come out ofmy mouth, right.
colleyc (14:49):
And how did you find your style?
Like how did you come to howyou wanted to write songs?
Like what was that transitionor that journey like for you to
kind of find your voice and theway you wanted to write songs?
Zoya (15:04):
Yeah, way you wanted to write songs, yeah, um, that's a
good question because I feellike it's evolved a lot, even
early on, like, I think,obviously, like influences and
what you listen to affects it.
Um, I remember my earlier stuffwas very like wordy and you
know, and then I think I'veslowly evolved to making things
(15:27):
a bit more minimal, but tryingnot to you know, I don't know,
because that's a good question,because I think it just it's a
mixture of, like just artists Iwas listening to and kind of
also just trying to find a spotwhere I felt like I could that
(15:49):
represented me and like myexperiences.
But it did go through a lot ofdifferent stages of you know,
overwriting and then you know,and then pairing stuff back and
I think I also really just lovedright, like writing in general
and um, but yeah, I, I don'tknow, that's a good question I
(16:14):
think I'm still like evolvingtoo, like I feel like right.
colleyc (16:17):
Well, I've I've noticed like from from 2013 to the, the
singles that you're putting outnowadays and and and the record
you put out too, like last year, I think it was right In 2024?
.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Mm-hmm.
colleyc (16:31):
Let me get the name Some Songs.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah, may 2024.
colleyc (16:37):
I totally agree with you on you've gone more minimal.
You've allowed room, more room,more space in between.
And it creates.
I was telling you, trying todescribe this air, this
lightness to it, kind of dreamy,um, and your, your voice just
flutters around there and it'sjust so amazing.
(16:57):
I was, I was, I was sayingbefore we we hopped on here how
I've just been obsessed withlistening to your songs, um, and
really listening to all theyears, like I just have a huge
mix of your stuff from 2013 allthe way.
Now you had a pause for a while.
Um is that?
(17:18):
Is that correct?
Zoya (17:20):
yeah, um, I did have a pause, I think.
Just, I would say like thebigger pause was in recent years
from, like, I think, 2017, 2018, to until I released the album,
which is like a good chunk.
colleyc (17:40):
Which were some COVID years in there right as well
yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah.
colleyc (17:45):
Did music just kind of like it wasn't doing, like was
it writer's block you're hitwith, or the music just wasn't
doing it for you anymore, orlike life events just prevented
you like well, can you, can, canyou share that?
Zoya (17:59):
I don't want to pry no, but I was curious about that.
(18:21):
You know, it seemed like therewas quite a few years where you,
that you know, I need to reallytake care of myself, because I
think, for me at least, likebeing creative and stuff and
that kind of, if I'm like reallyin a bad place, like it's not
something that I can be ascreative, and for a while it was
(18:43):
like, oh, I'm, you know why amI not a real artist if I can't
turn my pain into art and it'sjust like no, like you, just,
you know, it's not the time andit's okay.
And I think it does shake yousometimes if your whole identity
has been, you know, a musicianand you're like, oh, my God, but
this is like supposed to belike a good time to make an
(19:03):
incredible album and like I'm, Ican't create anything, I can't
write song, and it was.
It was at that point where Iwas like, you know, even the
songs that I had written, um,that I wanted to release and
stuff, they kind of lost theirmeaning.
Um, in 2018, like, um, my dadpassed away and my grandma,
really, they passed away withina few months of each other, and
(19:30):
I think, also because I, youknow, as I mentioned, they were
also like early experiences ofmusic and creativity.
colleyc (19:38):
It's just dealing with that it was too painful yeah.
Zoya (19:40):
It was, and it just I was.
Yeah, and it was a veryexistential time where I'm like,
just like these songs just feellike so you know, you know,
just in comparison to otherstuff they're just like you know
, they kind of lost somethingRight.
colleyc (19:58):
Right.
But, were, some, were somesongs like those, were the songs
that that changed their meaning, or they just they didn't come
across it the same way afterhaving these you know difficult,
you know periods of life.
Zoya (20:14):
Yes.
colleyc (20:15):
Yeah.
Zoya (20:15):
To an extent.
Yeah, remember, um like I didhave a lot of these songs like,
and I think also it was just thetiming to you know, um like
wanting to release music earlierbut then not having like the
financial means to like get itthe way I wanted or envisioned
(20:36):
it.
But it's not that I ever feltthat the songs like lost their
meaning.
It's just like during that timeof my life it was not something
I could focus on, or I always,you know, I did cherish the
songs and I always felt likethey did mean something to me,
(20:59):
but I just it's just a beautifulrecord that from head to bottom
, like it.
colleyc (21:05):
Just I love the sequencing and I like I said to
like those songs like there's somuch room in there that you
open them up.
Those songs like there's somuch room in there that you open
(21:26):
them up and you know there'sthis breath of fresh air that it
feels like you're singing them.
You know like that's what itfeels like to me.
You know I mean you MeantNothing.
2.
I mean what a great song.
I mean you're a good reason.
I mean another killer song,clumsy, amazing.
So to you, looking back on this, going through all of that, how
do you now look at this?
Some songs that was releasedmay 3rd 2024, like you've had a.
(21:47):
You know it's almost a year oldnow, or?
yeah, almost a year old like howwould how, how is your um, your
idea, your vision of thosesongs changed since you've put
out that record?
Zoya (22:03):
yeah, no, I'm really proud of that album.
I think, um, it was definitelya you know a long time coming
and it felt really surreal tofinally release them, and also
just the whole process of makingthe album.
It was very collaborative soI'm just really grateful for
that experience too, justworking with other musicians and
(22:25):
producers and, um no, I'mtotally fine with just kind of,
like you know, having that thereand that being a representation
of those songs.
colleyc (22:43):
I'm sure it brings you lots of memories, just because
it seems like the journey ofthat record was had some had
some years to it and I'm surelots of reflection and tweaking
and everything comes with thatspace that you, that that it
came out in Once that record wasout, was the spark still there
of like I gotta do this againbecause you since then you've
put out a couple of singleswhich have been really sweet.
(23:06):
Um, we're gonna feature one atthe end.
Um, I don't love you but diddid that record kind of rekindle
um your interest in pursuingmusic further?
Zoya (23:21):
yeah, it did, I think.
Obviously the encouragement,the external encouragement, you
know, I know I don't want to saythat like the validation, but
it is to an extent it isencouraging to continue you're
like okay, like totally I mean,I think it because it is such a
huge accomplishment.
colleyc (23:39):
Like people don't realize that what musicians go
through for each of theserecords, for each of these songs
, I'd say the sweat, the blood,the tears that go into this and
it's there, and it's there foreverybody to go and take and
listen and use the way they wantand to say comments on what
they think about this and thatand the other thing.
(24:01):
So I think that it's massivethat that you got this record
out too, plus all of the thingsthat that your life had was
thrown at you at the same time.
It was.
It's quite the feat, I'd say.
Zoya (24:14):
Yeah, and with this album too, a lot of it was recorded
finally started like duringcovid, so we worked on a lot of
it remotely.
Um, a couple of the songs weredone right before, like lockdown
, but um, for the most part itwas done remotely and I was also
um adding another layer, um, itwas like I was also dealing
(24:38):
with like health issues andstuff, so, um, that was also I
think.
So that record does have a lotof memories.
I mean the songs themselves havememories, like the content, but
then also just the process ofrecording it and everything and,
um, I think also just duringthat time, like of COVID,
everything was so isolating, soto work with someone else on
(25:01):
this project was also such likea good support and just
therapeutic.
colleyc (25:08):
Well, I mean, it's getting lots of attention on
Bandcamp, we'll say that, whichis amazing.
I mean I love when I can scrolldown and see how many people
that have purchased it for youand I'm like good, and people
out there, if you're listening,you haven't gone and listened to
this record yet.
Go and listen to it, please.
Some songs, and there's a fewsingles that are out as well,
(25:28):
that are coming, so so you kindof bring things here to a close
again.
Thanks for joining me.
It's been a real pleasuretalking to you and hearing your
stories and your journey.
It's, it's really fascinating.
Um, what, what, what's next foryou?
Um, you have a couple singlesout one came out just in march?
(25:48):
yeah, is there a new record onthe on the horizon or are you
compiling writing?
Can you share any insights intowhat might be coming in 2025?
Zoya (25:59):
yeah, I mean I don't know if, uh, I'll have an album out
this year, but I I do plan to atleast release some singles.
I think, feasibility wise, it'sprobably probably the the
direction right now is to maybejust either release singles or
maybe an EP.
I've been working on some newerstuff, you know, and even in
(26:20):
the past few years and evenrecently, and just experimenting
with different sounds.
So I think my next release, ifit is like a compilation, ep or
album will be a combination ofdifferent, you know, different.
It'll be a bit moreexperimental, I think.
Um but, yeah, as far as likesongs, songwriting thing, I
(26:44):
think I'm also trying to alsojust clear up my vault of songs
that I have that I just want toget out and release.
colleyc (26:52):
So well, that's sounds good to me.
One other thing I want to justmention too is I I was looking
through your youtube chain andsome of the covers that you do
are really amazing.
Um, you have a knack for forowning it, but choosing some
really amazing covers to to makeyour own, they've been just
(27:16):
really.
I've really enjoyed listeningto those a lot and I saw it too,
the bizarre love triangle neworder song on one of your band
camp, yeah Posts, which was socool.
I just it was so good.
Zoya (27:29):
I feel like you've probably like reviewed or
something, one of those early,early EPs.
colleyc (27:36):
I did on my blog.
Yeah, yeah, I've been a fan.
I'll tell you so.
Thank you, I really appreciatetalking with you and I wish you
all the best.
I hope that you keep going onthis music train.
I mean, take the time you need,because it seems to really amp
(27:59):
up these records that you putout, and the anticipation is
just amazing.
And please stay tuned, guys.
At the end we'll hear thelatest track, called I Don't
Love you.
But I want to thank you again,Zoya, for coming in and sharing
some thoughts with us.
Zoya (28:17):
Yeah, of course.
Thank you so much, Chris.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Don't inform me of your former glory.
Don't attach me to all yourstories.
You've fallen back in time.
You're speaking In rhyme.
(28:59):
I'm sorry, I don't love you.
Do you know me Like I know you?
I don't think you do.
I'm walking away from you.
(29:21):
Let go of my hand.
I wanna be alone With love likeyours.
(30:02):
I'm a sinking stone, two lostsouls in the night.
Your cigarette's A source oflight.
I'm sorry, I don't love you.
(30:25):
Do you know me Like I know you?
I don't think you do.
I'm walking away from you.
Do you know me like I know you?
(30:51):
I don't think you do.
I'm walking away from you,thank you.
Welcome to another episode of ifitbeyourwill
Podcast Chugging Along Season 5.
Been really fun so far.
We've had some great artists onFrom all parts of the world.
It's amazing how music is souniversal and how the love for
music is always the sameanywhere in the world.
It's amazing how music is souniversal and how the love for
music is always the sameanywhere in the world.
This passion that we have inmusicians and today is no
(00:55):
exception I have Zoya Zafar.
She's coming in from OrlandoFlorida, the southern US, in
from Orlando Florida, thesouthern US, and Zoya's music,
if you haven't heard it, isbeautiful, breezy, indie folk.
You've got tinges of Mazzy Starand Cat Power and just this
(01:18):
lovely intimacy that comes withit.
She's been doing this for awhile, writing music, and we're
going to learn all about ittoday.
So, Zoya, thanks so much fortaking some time in your day and
joining us.
Zoya (01:32):
Yeah, of course.
Thank you so much for having me.
colleyc (01:35):
Oh, it's a real pleasure.
A real pleasure.
I tend to like starting theseoff, zoya, with a little bit
about where you began with music, when it started to become
super important in your life.
Can you bring us back in time abit and paint us that picture
of when music really wasstarting to percolate as
(01:57):
something that you knew you weregoing to be doing for a long
time?
Zoya (02:01):
Yeah, that's a good question I feel like when you
have been doing it for so long.
It's kind of hard to rememberwhen you know, when that
happened.
Um, I mean, I think I've alwaysbeen drawn to it music and even
(02:25):
performing too but I was alwaysa very shy person, and so
performing itself was somethingthat came a little bit later and
it was something thatcompletely freaked me out.
But it was also something that,because it freaked me out, I
was like more intrigued.
You know, I like wanted to doit more like shock therapy, I
(02:45):
guess.
But, um, yeah, thinking back umearly experiences with music, um
, well, I, my grandma, she would, she sang and she would sing um
in south asia they have likethese songs called Ghazal, which
(03:07):
are classical songs that havebeen written by poets and
they're saying by many differentsingers, but she, she used to
sing a lot and I always reallyrespected her and you know she
did music her entire and youknow she did music her entire
life and you know, even like shenever like gave up on it.
(03:32):
Even, you know, as she gotolder, like it was just always
she would have people come overand they would rehearse and
practice.
So I think that definitely, youknow, made me have an early
appreciation.
My dad as well, and I think mydad he wasn't necessarily a
(04:08):
musician but he sang and he alsowas very involved in, like
acting and, you know, modelingand theater and um, also, you
know that was, I think I justcame from a very like family
that was creative and expresseda lot Um, which is, I don't know
, I don't want to say it's notcommon in like South Asian
households, but I mean it's notlike the stereotype, I think,
when people think of um offamilies you know especially
felt, you felt growing up,creativity was, was important,
(04:31):
not only to you, but your familyas well, and they they cherish
that within, within the familyunit.
Yeah, no, it was very likerespected and cherished, and
like my uncle too, he was anarchitect and a design designer.
I lived with him when I wasyounger, so I was just really
exposed to that.
I mean also my grandma also,instead of just being a singer,
(04:52):
she also was a visual artist aswell, and so I just like grew up
around like you know visualarts and music, and it was just
never anything that was.
It was very supported, I guess,very supportive environment for
that.
So I do feel very lucky that Ihad that early kind of
appreciation and respect for it.
colleyc (05:15):
What was the kind of music that you were listening to
like from parents and family?
But then, as you as a teenagergoing in, you know your early um
, you know your, your teenageyears and stuff, what.
What was?
What was the music that wassurrounding you at that time?
Zoya (05:31):
yeah, so as a kid, you know, I don't really think I had
, um, like, my dad listened tosome like frank sinatra and uh,
he had some, you know, but also,but also those experiences were
very early on but I didn'treally grow up with him
(05:52):
throughout, like as a kid and Iwas just with my mom and she
didn't really listen to, like, Iguess, modern Western music
Like I also, I don't know, Ifeel like I didn't really have a
lot of exposure to, like youknow, the typical like bands
from, like even like 60s and 70smusic, like I know a lot of
(06:15):
people sometimes discover itthrough their parents and I
didn't.
I discovered it on my own.
Later I'm as a teen, um, so um,I remember my she like worked
for universal and at her jobthey would sometimes give like
mixed tape, like mixed CDs, likejust kind of songs from like
the eighties and nineties, likeI'm not even sorry, not even
(06:38):
eighties and nineties, but likejust in general like hits.
So like they would even, yeah,compilation, so there would be
like some Elvis, but thenthere'd be like Wilson Phillips
and like other um like BonnieRide and stuff.
So I was like listening tothose compilations a lot.
That was probably like my earlyum.
She sometimes she'd get likerandom cds and stuff and I
(06:59):
remember my first album that Ithat she she gave me was by this
artist called PJ Olsen, who Ididn't really know, but I
listened to that CD so much.
That was probably the only CD Ihad of an artist.
I mean besides compilations andstuff.
(07:23):
I mean besides compilations andstuff.
But then, like as a teen, orobviously, like you know, as a
kid, like I'd hear like top 40smusic, pop, early 2000s, like
that was everywhere, so that wasobviously that was exposed to.
And then, um, as a teen, like Igot more into, like you know,
other like music and like I justdiscovered music online, like
(07:46):
not really into like 60s and 70sfolk and classic rock when I
was in high school, um, and itwas a time too when you know,
people were making cds and likeburning cds and making like, uh,
so I think I just discoveredthings through friends.
Um, I, then I also reallystarted getting into like more
(08:07):
folk music.
I remember um actuallydiscovered some music through
like soundtracks like my unclehe had.
He gave me his ipod and um, ithad the soundtrack for about a
boy.
That was all done by badlydrawn boy and I was like
obsessed with that soundtrack.
So I listened to a lot of badlydrawn boy and I was like wait,
(08:30):
I like this kind of music.
So then I started kind of goingfrom there and I was like maybe
, like I don't know 13 at thetime and I was just trying to.
Then I kind of went through therabbit hole and I discovered
artists like um, like death Cabfor Cutie and Bright Eyes and
right more independent artistsat the time.
colleyc (08:49):
Yeah.
I mean they're pretty big starsnowadays, but when they were
first starting out, they weresuper independent, right yeah?
Zoya (08:57):
definitely um so just, oh yeah, I was just gonna say, just
just think it was just throughdifferent types of media that I
just, you know, found like firstthe vibe and then it, so it was
definitely an exploration.
colleyc (09:11):
I think it was very like authentic, like I just
really like that like youmentioned, we go down that
rabbit hole and then one artistwill bring the other one in and
then the other one in andthere's so many amazing artists
out there and like, how manysongs and how many bands and how
(09:32):
many you know are out there.
It's just amazing how muchwealth that we have of this
creative output.
Um, when did your guitar walkin the door?
So you were going through, youknow, enjoying music, creativity
was a part of who you were.
Music was sparking in you.
When did it start?
(09:53):
Where you were?
Like hey, I want to try it.
Like, what was that connectionand how did that all begin with
your first instrument and yourfirst songwriting experiences?
Zoya (10:04):
with your first instrument and your first songwriting
experiences.
Yeah, I think around like 13 or14, I like before guitar and
like I think I was always likewriting songs in my head, like
just melodies, like since I wasa kid, and then I just, um,
guitar seemed cool, so I wantedto know how to play it and I
(10:26):
remember like I think I I wentto this new school that was just
like brand brand new built andthey were had a guitar.
They started like doing aguitar class and I thought that
was like you know, it was justlike a new thing, like no one,
like no schools, really had that.
So, um, I took a guitar class,like when I was 13 at my school.
So I took a guitar class when Iwas 13 at my school and it was.
(10:48):
I wouldn't say it was a greatexperience, but it was a huge
class of 40 kids, mainly boys,there was three girls and it was
just there were too many kidsin the class and one teacher and
we weren't really learning coolstuff.
But I mean, I guess it did helpme learn like basics.
But I remember, like the summerafter I was just like, but I
(11:10):
didn't like learn any songs thatI like.
So I think just that summerafter I was just like okay, let
me try to like actually learnguitar and, like you know, make
this fun for me and learn thesongs that I like.
And then I think writing songsjust kind of came naturally,
like as soon as I could kind offigure some stuff out like I
(11:33):
wanted to write songs.
So it just like felt like itwas just it worked it worked out
.
colleyc (11:40):
Yeah, yeah.
And do you remember some ofthose first songs were those
first songs on the ep that youput out in 2023?
It was the just yourself-titled like.
Were those some of your firstsongs that you had written?
Zoya (11:55):
yeah, some of those were very early.
I wouldn't say they were likeyeah, they were pretty much
those, that first batch of songs, and I think, um, I was writing
so many songs, like I was justkind of going like crazy, you
know, because I think whensomething's new and it's
exciting, you're yeah, yeah,yeah you know beginner's mind,
(12:16):
you're just going all over theplace, so.
But I guess those are the morerefined um songs that I kind of
like landed on um.
So those were yeah.
So they do have a special placein my heart because I'm like,
oh, this was.
I did my first like open mictoo, when I was like around 15
and 16.
So like immediately afterwriting I was like I want to you
(12:37):
know let's go for it.
colleyc (12:40):
You really went for it.
I mean at 15 too, like wow,yeah, where did?
Like you said at the start toothat you're kind of a shy person
and it it takes a bit of oomphto.
Oh yeah To put yourself in thatvulnerable situation where
there you are here's.
Here's some songs that comefrom my heart that I've penned.
Zoya (13:04):
Yeah.
colleyc (13:05):
How did you manage that Like?
Do you remember?
Like the lead up to it and likehow you managed to push
yourself to go through with it?
Zoya (13:14):
Yeah, yeah.
So it was definitely verynerve-wracking.
I used to throw up beforeplaying in front of people, and
especially these open mics.
I'd have to throw up because Iwas just so anxious.
Um, but I, I think early on inmy life, because I told you I
was kind of drawn to performingbut was so scared of it and I
(13:35):
was like, you know, you know, 10or 11, I did like a musical
theater class in school and itwas the most like.
I remember like they had theywanted everyone to sing like a
song in the beginning and Icould not sing, like I just
couldn't, so that never happened.
And then for like that entireyear, I was just like not like
(13:57):
really, I guess I just neverlike had an opportunity to sing
in the class.
I mean, I was always like putin the back and stuff, which was
fine.
But then we did anotheraudition and they were going to
be really selective for like thenext year and for that one I
did perform.
Finally I was like okay.
And then I just remember myteacher.
(14:18):
She was just like so proud ofme and she's just, she was like
in tears and I think that waslike a big thing of
encouragement.
I'm like, oh, oh, I can kind offace my fears and like, yeah,
and she put me into the programand I was just like, okay, like
maybe this just that feeling ofaccomplishment, like I think,
stuck with me.
So, um, when?
(14:38):
I was story yeah, I know I was.
I literally went from likebeing, like not being able to
say, like anything come out ofmy mouth, right.
colleyc (14:49):
And how did you find your style?
Like how did you come to howyou wanted to write songs?
Like what was that transitionor that journey like for you to
kind of find your voice and theway you wanted to write songs?
Zoya (15:04):
Yeah, way you wanted to write songs, yeah, um, that's a
good question because I feellike it's evolved a lot, even
early on, like, I think,obviously, like influences and
what you listen to affects it.
Um, I remember my earlier stuffwas very like wordy and you
know, and then I think I'veslowly evolved to making things
(15:27):
a bit more minimal, but tryingnot to you know, I don't know,
because that's a good question,because I think it just it's a
mixture of, like just artists Iwas listening to and kind of
also just trying to find a spotwhere I felt like I could that
(15:49):
represented me and like myexperiences.
But it did go through a lot ofdifferent stages of you know,
overwriting and then you know,and then pairing stuff back and
I think I also really just lovedright, like writing in general
and um, but yeah, I, I don'tknow, that's a good question I
(16:14):
think I'm still like evolvingtoo, like I feel like right.
colleyc (16:17):
Well, I've I've noticed like from from 2013 to the, the
singles that you're putting outnowadays and and and the record
you put out too, like last year, I think it was right In 2024?
.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Mm-hmm.
colleyc (16:31):
Let me get the name Some Songs.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Yeah, may 2024.
colleyc (16:37):
I totally agree with you on you've gone more minimal.
You've allowed room, more room,more space in between.
And it creates.
I was telling you, trying todescribe this air, this
lightness to it, kind of dreamy,um, and your, your voice just
flutters around there and it'sjust so amazing.
(16:57):
I was, I was, I was sayingbefore we we hopped on here how
I've just been obsessed withlistening to your songs, um, and
really listening to all theyears, like I just have a huge
mix of your stuff from 2013 allthe way.
Now you had a pause for a while.
Um is that?
(17:18):
Is that correct?
Zoya (17:20):
yeah, um, I did have a pause, I think.
Just, I would say like thebigger pause was in recent years
from, like, I think, 2017, 2018, to until I released the album,
which is like a good chunk.
colleyc (17:40):
Which were some COVID years in there right as well
yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yeah.
colleyc (17:45):
Did music just kind of like it wasn't doing, like was
it writer's block you're hitwith, or the music just wasn't
doing it for you anymore, orlike life events just prevented
you like well, can you, can, canyou share that?
Zoya (17:59):
I don't want to pry no, but I was curious about that.
(18:21):
You know, it seemed like therewas quite a few years where you,
that you know, I need to reallytake care of myself, because I
think, for me at least, likebeing creative and stuff and
that kind of, if I'm like reallyin a bad place, like it's not
something that I can be ascreative, and for a while it was
(18:43):
like, oh, I'm, you know why amI not a real artist if I can't
turn my pain into art and it'sjust like no, like you, just,
you know, it's not the time andit's okay.
And I think it does shake yousometimes if your whole identity
has been, you know, a musicianand you're like, oh, my God, but
this is like supposed to belike a good time to make an
(19:03):
incredible album and like I'm, Ican't create anything, I can't
write song, and it was.
It was at that point where Iwas like, you know, even the
songs that I had written, um,that I wanted to release and
stuff, they kind of lost theirmeaning.
Um, in 2018, like, um, my dadpassed away and my grandma,
really, they passed away withina few months of each other, and
(19:30):
I think, also because I, youknow, as I mentioned, they were
also like early experiences ofmusic and creativity.
colleyc (19:38):
It's just dealing with that it was too painful yeah.
Zoya (19:40):
It was, and it just I was.
Yeah, and it was a veryexistential time where I'm like,
just like these songs just feellike so you know, you know,
just in comparison to otherstuff they're just like you know
, they kind of lost somethingRight.
colleyc (19:58):
Right.
But, were, some, were somesongs like those, were the songs
that that changed their meaning, or they just they didn't come
across it the same way afterhaving these you know difficult,
you know periods of life.
Zoya (20:14):
Yes.
colleyc (20:15):
Yeah.
Zoya (20:15):
To an extent.
Yeah, remember, um like I didhave a lot of these songs like,
and I think also it was just thetiming to you know, um like
wanting to release music earlierbut then not having like the
financial means to like get itthe way I wanted or envisioned
(20:36):
it.
But it's not that I ever feltthat the songs like lost their
meaning.
It's just like during that timeof my life it was not something
I could focus on, or I always,you know, I did cherish the
songs and I always felt likethey did mean something to me,
(20:59):
but I just it's just a beautifulrecord that from head to bottom
, like it.
colleyc (21:05):
Just I love the sequencing and I like I said to
like those songs like there's somuch room in there that you
open them up.
Those songs like there's somuch room in there that you open
(21:26):
them up and you know there'sthis breath of fresh air that it
feels like you're singing them.
You know like that's what itfeels like to me.
You know I mean you MeantNothing.
2.
I mean what a great song.
I mean you're a good reason.
I mean another killer song,clumsy, amazing.
So to you, looking back on this, going through all of that, how
do you now look at this?
Some songs that was releasedmay 3rd 2024, like you've had a.
(21:47):
You know it's almost a year oldnow, or?
yeah, almost a year old like howwould how, how is your um, your
idea, your vision of thosesongs changed since you've put
out that record?
Zoya (22:03):
yeah, no, I'm really proud of that album.
I think, um, it was definitelya you know a long time coming
and it felt really surreal tofinally release them, and also
just the whole process of makingthe album.
It was very collaborative soI'm just really grateful for
that experience too, justworking with other musicians and
(22:25):
producers and, um no, I'mtotally fine with just kind of,
like you know, having that thereand that being a representation
of those songs.
colleyc (22:43):
I'm sure it brings you lots of memories, just because
it seems like the journey ofthat record was had some had
some years to it and I'm surelots of reflection and tweaking
and everything comes with thatspace that you, that that it
came out in Once that record wasout, was the spark still there
of like I gotta do this againbecause you since then you've
put out a couple of singleswhich have been really sweet.
(23:06):
Um, we're gonna feature one atthe end.
Um, I don't love you but diddid that record kind of rekindle
um your interest in pursuingmusic further?
Zoya (23:21):
yeah, it did, I think.
Obviously the encouragement,the external encouragement, you
know, I know I don't want to saythat like the validation, but
it is to an extent it isencouraging to continue you're
like okay, like totally I mean,I think it because it is such a
huge accomplishment.
colleyc (23:39):
Like people don't realize that what musicians go
through for each of theserecords, for each of these songs
, I'd say the sweat, the blood,the tears that go into this and
it's there, and it's there foreverybody to go and take and
listen and use the way they wantand to say comments on what
they think about this and thatand the other thing.
(24:01):
So I think that it's massivethat that you got this record
out too, plus all of the thingsthat that your life had was
thrown at you at the same time.
It was.
It's quite the feat, I'd say.
Zoya (24:14):
Yeah, and with this album too, a lot of it was recorded
finally started like duringcovid, so we worked on a lot of
it remotely.
Um, a couple of the songs weredone right before, like lockdown
, but um, for the most part itwas done remotely and I was also
um adding another layer, um, itwas like I was also dealing
(24:38):
with like health issues andstuff, so, um, that was also I
think.
So that record does have a lotof memories.
I mean the songs themselves havememories, like the content, but
then also just the process ofrecording it and everything and,
um, I think also just duringthat time, like of COVID,
everything was so isolating, soto work with someone else on
(25:01):
this project was also such likea good support and just
therapeutic.
colleyc (25:08):
Well, I mean, it's getting lots of attention on
Bandcamp, we'll say that, whichis amazing.
I mean I love when I can scrolldown and see how many people
that have purchased it for youand I'm like good, and people
out there, if you're listening,you haven't gone and listened to
this record yet.
Go and listen to it, please.
Some songs, and there's a fewsingles that are out as well,
(25:28):
that are coming, so so you kindof bring things here to a close
again.
Thanks for joining me.
It's been a real pleasuretalking to you and hearing your
stories and your journey.
It's, it's really fascinating.
Um, what, what, what's next foryou?
Um, you have a couple singlesout one came out just in march?
(25:48):
yeah, is there a new record onthe on the horizon or are you
compiling writing?
Can you share any insights intowhat might be coming in 2025?
Zoya (25:59):
yeah, I mean I don't know if, uh, I'll have an album out
this year, but I I do plan to atleast release some singles.
I think, feasibility wise, it'sprobably probably the the
direction right now is to maybejust either release singles or
maybe an EP.
I've been working on some newerstuff, you know, and even in
(26:20):
the past few years and evenrecently, and just experimenting
with different sounds.
So I think my next release, ifit is like a compilation, ep or
album will be a combination ofdifferent, you know, different.
It'll be a bit moreexperimental, I think.
Um but, yeah, as far as likesongs, songwriting thing, I
(26:44):
think I'm also trying to alsojust clear up my vault of songs
that I have that I just want toget out and release.
colleyc (26:52):
So well, that's sounds good to me.
One other thing I want to justmention too is I I was looking
through your youtube chain andsome of the covers that you do
are really amazing.
Um, you have a knack for forowning it, but choosing some
really amazing covers to to makeyour own, they've been just
(27:16):
really.
I've really enjoyed listeningto those a lot and I saw it too,
the bizarre love triangle neworder song on one of your band
camp, yeah Posts, which was socool.
I just it was so good.
Zoya (27:29):
I feel like you've probably like reviewed or
something, one of those early,early EPs.
colleyc (27:36):
I did on my blog.
Yeah, yeah, I've been a fan.
I'll tell you so.
Thank you, I really appreciatetalking with you and I wish you
all the best.
I hope that you keep going onthis music train.
I mean, take the time you need,because it seems to really amp
(27:59):
up these records that you putout, and the anticipation is
just amazing.
And please stay tuned, guys.
At the end we'll hear thelatest track, called I Don't
Love you.
But I want to thank you again,Zoya, for coming in and sharing
some thoughts with us.
Zoya (28:17):
Yeah, of course.
Thank you so much, Chris.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Don't inform me of your former glory.
Don't attach me to all yourstories.
You've fallen back in time.
You're speaking In rhyme.
(28:59):
I'm sorry, I don't love you.
Do you know me Like I know you?
I don't think you do.
I'm walking away from you.
(29:21):
Let go of my hand.
I wanna be alone With love likeyours.
(30:02):
I'm a sinking stone, two lostsouls in the night.
Your cigarette's A source oflight.
I'm sorry, I don't love you.
(30:25):
Do you know me Like I know you?
I don't think you do.
I'm walking away from you.
Do you know me like I know you?
(30:51):
I don't think you do.
I'm walking away from you,thank you.
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