Self Discovery Guided Meditation

This self-discovery meditation is inspired by No Bad Parts Book written by Richard Schwartz. He created the IFS (Internal Family System) therapy system which offers a map for discovering ourselves. As per the model, we have multiple selves lodged in ourselves. We created these parts in different times of our lives to help us through some real or imagined wounds or situations. The idea is that though these parts are meant to do us good and keep us safe, sometimes their role is overburdened and almost unnecessary, especially some parts that we created when we were kids ourselves.

These parts can get dysfunctional especially when they play their role in our life’s situations in a way that is extreme. But their limited point of view is that we need it. Sometimes, they collaborate with each other and sometimes they are in conflict. WE (our real SELF) get lost in their inner dynamics and we forget our TRUE SELF is always whole and complete. This meditation will help us talk to some of our parts and see if we can integrate them into ourselves or give them a role that is more suited to our life now.

Understanding their workings will help us understand our inner system. This self-discovery can help us access the compassion and clarity necessary to heal past wounds and have more choice in how we respond (rather than defensively or impulsively react) to the opportunities, challenges, and complexities of our present life.

According to the developer of IFS therapy, Dick Schwartz, parts tend to play three common roles:

Managers - 'Never again': Their role is to prevent wounds and vulnerability being triggered. They often run our lives and are very dutiful, responsible, and proactive. They create stability and encourage improvement but can be controlling, hyper-critical, contemptuous, hostile, unemotional; cold, perfectionist, blaming/shaming, highly over-responsible or chronically self-sacrificing.

Firefighters - 'Whatever it takes': While managers are preventative, FFs are reactive. When all else fails and wounds are triggered, firefighters come in to numb, distract, deflect, or soothe through impulsive behaviors, such as heavy use of alcohol and drugs, sexual ‘acting out,’ gambling and chaotic spending, disordered eating, self-harming, suicide, violence. In a more positive role, FFs can balance manager's energy by bringing rest, fun, excitement and pleasure in someone's lives.

Exiles - 'Does anyone care?’: They embody our vulnerability, sensitivity. They absorb energy in the relational field. Exiles carry memories of unintegrated, painful events which develop core negative beliefs, feelings, and sensations (burdens). They feel alone; abandoned; unlovable; worthless; shamed; terrorized; victimized; unforgiven. While there is a woe is me and everyone is to blame mentality in our exile part, they also have an amazing sensitive and human side. If they are balanced, they can help you being more compassionate with yourself.