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September 11, 2025 74 mins

Content Warning. The following program covers sensitive subjects including suicidal ideation and self harm. Listener discretion is advised.


In this raw and deeply moving episode, Dean—an Illuman brother, father, and 12-step leader—shares the story of his long road from trauma, addiction, and abandonment to healing, sobriety, and sacred presence.

With honesty and depth, Dean opens up about:

  • The early wound of feeling unlovable and unseen

  • Years of living on the streets and the survival culture he found there

  • His descent into addiction—and the unexpected ways that voice, wilderness, and ravens led him toward healing

  • The power of the Men’s Rites of Passage in breaking open his heart

  • Why inner work is sometimes harder than three years in the wild

  • The importance of connection, community, and contemplative presence in recovery

This conversation holds both the brutal realities of life on the margins and the sacred invitations that arise when we finally stop running. Dean reminds us: the pain we do not transform, we will transmit. But when we do the work—real work—we begin to transmit light.

🔸 A story of surrender, sobriety, and sacred masculinity.
🔸 An invitation to listen, grieve, and become more fully alive.

Learn more about Illuman and our work: https://illuman.org
Explore the Illuman 12-Step Circle: https://www.illuman.org/online-programs
Subscribe to stay rooted in the fire.

#TheCaveAndTheFire #MensWork #MasculineSpirituality #Recovery #Sobriety #AddictionHealing #Belovedness #SacredMasculine #MensRites #Wilderness #JourneyOfIllumination #12Steps #InnerWorkThatMatters #ContemplativeMasculinity


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